All language subtitles for Bitchkram - Bitch Hug

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,367 --> 00:00:41,202 Hi. You don't know me, but I'm emailing you because I want to write. 2 00:00:41,367 --> 00:00:44,916 I'm only honest when I write, and I'm tired of lying. 3 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:49,683 As a child, I started writing a list of 1,000 things to do before I die. 4 00:00:49,847 --> 00:00:54,796 A list to dare me, give me strength, make me see, think, be. 5 00:00:54,927 --> 00:00:59,603 #089: SETA PINBALL HIGH SCORE Because life's a contest. Best high score at the time of death wins. 6 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:03,402 Who wants to get old and regret everything you didn't do? 7 00:01:03,527 --> 00:01:07,122 New York is at the top of my list, and I'm about to go. 8 00:01:07,287 --> 00:01:11,041 About to become myself- my written self, not the one I am. 9 00:01:11,207 --> 00:01:14,244 This town is killing me. And I don't want to die. 10 00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,443 I want to win. 11 00:01:25,447 --> 00:01:29,679 #704: SING ALOUD IN A RECORD STORE 12 00:01:29,847 --> 00:01:32,839 I'd do anything to write for your paper. 13 00:01:33,007 --> 00:01:37,922 Let me make my dreams come true. Kind regards, Kristin. 14 00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:48,725 #067: GROW UR 15 00:01:48,887 --> 00:01:51,799 #103: LISTEN TOGETHER 16 00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:55,164 #045: WEAR A WREATH 17 00:01:55,367 --> 00:01:58,245 #108: KISS 18 00:01:58,407 --> 00:02:01,160 #099: HUG SANTA 19 00:02:01,367 --> 00:02:04,006 #038: FALL IN LOVE 20 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:07,159 #033: ACT ON STAGE 21 00:02:07,367 --> 00:02:10,120 #068: GO ABROAD 22 00:02:10,287 --> 00:02:12,881 #042: GET A BEST FRIEND 23 00:02:13,047 --> 00:02:15,845 BITCH HUG 24 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:31,556 -Isn't this your sister's room? -Yeah, and this is her bed. 25 00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:54,359 -I love you, Kristin. -Tell me before you come. 26 00:02:54,527 --> 00:02:57,200 -I'm about to come. -Don't come inside me! 27 00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:11,201 -Are we gonna leave it like this? -Sure, it'll be like a gift. 28 00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:13,278 -What? Is that her now? -Hurry! 29 00:03:13,447 --> 00:03:15,199 Wait up! 30 00:03:17,087 --> 00:03:20,204 -What do we do? -You should probably hide. 31 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,756 Kristin! 32 00:03:22,927 --> 00:03:25,885 Where am I supposed to hide? 33 00:03:26,047 --> 00:03:29,676 Kristin! You filthy cunt, you had sex in my bed? 34 00:03:29,847 --> 00:03:35,001 Well, somebody should. Your bed is developing a complex next to mine. 35 00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:37,806 You're washing and sanitizing my sheets. 36 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:41,562 -Can't you take a joke? -A joke? You fucking... 37 00:03:41,727 --> 00:03:45,163 What the fuck? You can't kill me with a grapefruit. 38 00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:48,643 -"Can't you take a joke?" -Play in the same league. 39 00:03:48,767 --> 00:03:52,123 -So I should fuck in your bed? -It's so done. 40 00:03:52,287 --> 00:03:57,645 -Come up with something original. -You're such a joke. Hey, Sperm Boy. 41 00:03:57,807 --> 00:04:00,799 I want my sheets washed, dried and ironed. 42 00:04:05,967 --> 00:04:10,483 You heard her. Washing powder's behind you. Then you can leave. 43 00:04:10,647 --> 00:04:15,516 But...I was supposed to get to sleep over. You promised. 44 00:04:15,687 --> 00:04:18,406 And you promised never to say you loved me. 45 00:04:18,527 --> 00:04:20,961 I just can't help it sometimes. 46 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:25,723 It's a turn-off to hear it in Swedish - it doesn't sound believable. 47 00:04:25,887 --> 00:04:30,802 I'm sorry. I'll never say it again, I promise. 48 00:04:38,727 --> 00:04:42,276 #703: HAVE SEX IN LINN'S ROOM 49 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:45,524 Am I supposed to use washing powder or softener? 50 00:04:45,687 --> 00:04:47,678 Idiot... 51 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:56,046 I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want. 52 00:04:56,207 --> 00:04:58,357 I don't want this. 53 00:04:59,607 --> 00:05:02,883 I don't want to go to school, but discover the world. 54 00:05:03,047 --> 00:05:06,517 I want to be in love with the person I'm with. 55 00:05:06,687 --> 00:05:08,598 I hate living in a small town. 56 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,678 You slow down on that thing! 57 00:05:10,847 --> 00:05:13,805 There are only things I love and things I hate. 58 00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:14,605 HATE 59 00:05:14,767 --> 00:05:15,005 LOVE 60 00:05:15,127 --> 00:05:15,365 HATE 61 00:05:19,927 --> 00:05:22,361 I love writing. I hate tangled wires. 62 00:05:22,527 --> 00:05:24,961 I love a good window hang. I hate water. 63 00:05:25,127 --> 00:05:27,436 I love New York. I hate Linn. 64 00:05:27,567 --> 00:05:30,035 There are two ways of looking at things. 65 00:05:30,207 --> 00:05:32,596 I'm like a coin with two sides. 66 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,998 I hate and I love. 67 00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:38,078 I love myself... 68 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,925 ...and I hate myself. 69 00:05:59,687 --> 00:06:03,805 -Kristin... Wake up. -I'm awake. What do you want? 70 00:06:03,967 --> 00:06:07,437 I just want to wake up my favorite baby sister. 71 00:06:07,607 --> 00:06:10,565 -Why are you so happy? -Because it's 10 a.m. 72 00:06:10,727 --> 00:06:12,604 So? 73 00:06:14,087 --> 00:06:18,365 What the fuck! Where's my alarm clock? 74 00:06:18,487 --> 00:06:21,604 Oops. You mean this one? 75 00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:24,520 Hey, retard, I have a major interview! 76 00:06:24,687 --> 00:06:29,477 Sorry, I forgot. Just like you forgot which room was yours last night. 77 00:06:29,647 --> 00:06:34,960 This is not the same thing. This is life or death. Fuck... 78 00:06:55,687 --> 00:06:58,121 -I'm here now. -Yes? 79 00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:02,075 -I'm meeting the editor-in-chief... -Right, Daniel. 80 00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:07,002 Daniel...something. I'm a little late. 81 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:11,160 -Can you tell him I'm here now? -Sorry, you just missed him. 82 00:07:11,287 --> 00:07:14,836 -Sure, I'll get the herring... -Hi, Daniel! I'm Kristin! 83 00:07:15,007 --> 00:07:16,918 -I'm so sorry... -Hey, Kristin. 84 00:07:17,047 --> 00:07:20,722 Hate to break it to you, but you don't have what it takes. 85 00:07:20,847 --> 00:07:22,724 If you give me a second... 86 00:07:22,887 --> 00:07:25,685 You don't get extra seconds in this business. 87 00:07:25,847 --> 00:07:28,520 You don't meet your deadline, you're toast. 88 00:07:28,687 --> 00:07:34,557 Yes, but...this job is perfect for me. I have so many things to say. 89 00:07:34,727 --> 00:07:38,083 I was on the school paper, the student council... 90 00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:43,201 -I was almost on that 5th-grader show. -I couldn't care less about any of it. 91 00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:49,602 But then I think: "Kristin - Young Swedish girl in New York." 92 00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:52,042 -But... -It's got a nice ring to it. 93 00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:55,483 -But... -Don't start a sentence with "but". 94 00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:58,286 My assistant will email you the details. 95 00:07:58,447 --> 00:08:01,519 I get to write for you? Seriously? I got it? 96 00:08:01,687 --> 00:08:04,155 -Yes. -Thank you so much! 97 00:08:08,807 --> 00:08:11,116 Don't thank me, thank your boyfriend. 98 00:08:11,287 --> 00:08:14,802 -My boyfriend? But I don't have one. -Anders. 99 00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:20,917 I mean August... Alfred. Anyway, he's my girlfriend's brother. 100 00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:25,160 I promised I'd give you a shot. If you know what I mean. 101 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,403 Anton? 102 00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:30,161 No, it's whatchamacallit... 103 00:08:30,367 --> 00:08:34,963 The king, with the knights... The knights of... King... 104 00:08:35,127 --> 00:08:37,277 -Arthur! -Congrats on your new job! 105 00:08:37,447 --> 00:08:39,517 I didn't want it like this. 106 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:42,997 Oh, come on... This is how it works. 107 00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:46,364 Apparently. And apparently I'm your girlfriend now? 108 00:08:46,487 --> 00:08:49,923 -Come on, it'll be fun. -Fun? What is going to be fun? 109 00:08:50,087 --> 00:08:53,079 -You and me. -You just want to get more cred. 110 00:08:53,247 --> 00:08:56,205 Come on, I just want to be with you. 111 00:08:56,367 --> 00:08:59,359 Yeah, well, I don't do couple. 112 00:08:59,487 --> 00:09:03,719 But I like you. For real. 113 00:09:03,887 --> 00:09:07,516 I just want to be with you your last week here. Please. 114 00:09:07,687 --> 00:09:11,521 Fine. If you stop bugging me about it. 115 00:09:14,047 --> 00:09:17,039 -What...? -We're a couple! 116 00:09:17,207 --> 00:09:21,519 But when I go, it's over. I'm not doing the Skype thing. 117 00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:26,124 Sure. But let's celebrate. Can't we go swimming or something? 118 00:09:26,287 --> 00:09:29,404 No, I've got a ton of stuff to do. 119 00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:44,485 -What are you doing? -Updating my relationship status. 120 00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:51,358 -We'll go, but promise to behave. -Yeah. Sure thing. 121 00:09:51,527 --> 00:09:56,521 -We're a couple! We're a couple. -Wow, that's great. Congrats! 122 00:09:56,687 --> 00:09:58,279 Let's drink to that. 123 00:09:58,447 --> 00:10:00,517 Cheers! 124 00:10:01,847 --> 00:10:03,758 -Yeah! -What did I tell you? 125 00:10:03,927 --> 00:10:05,883 Sorry. 126 00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:10,201 Last one in sucks! 127 00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:21,879 Kristin, you suck! 128 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:26,039 Kristin, you suck! 129 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,964 Seriously... 130 00:10:28,087 --> 00:10:32,763 Kristin! Check it out! I'm doing the elevator! 131 00:10:33,727 --> 00:10:36,400 It's embarrassing you're dating Arthur. 132 00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:39,559 Was he really the best you could do? 133 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:44,959 Have you met Dennis? He goes to tennis high school. 134 00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:48,244 -I'm Dennis. -Kristin is left here by herself. 135 00:10:48,407 --> 00:10:51,365 -It's because she can't swim. -Everybody swims. 136 00:10:51,527 --> 00:10:54,724 I've just got better things to do than go swimming. 137 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:57,560 Come on, let's go. 138 00:11:08,007 --> 00:11:11,966 New York. Two words that could hold the answer to everything. 139 00:11:17,527 --> 00:11:21,600 No more school, no more pointless equations, 140 00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:24,076 French revolutions, or African lakes. 141 00:11:24,247 --> 00:11:28,001 I've got my first job - writing this column. 142 00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:31,477 I'll get to write, and you'll get to read. 143 00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,638 Performance anxiety... 144 00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:37,361 Please... 145 00:11:39,047 --> 00:11:42,517 What do you write when your words might reach everyone? 146 00:11:42,687 --> 00:11:46,760 Am I supposed to grow up now? Make all the important decisions? 147 00:11:49,927 --> 00:11:52,839 As far as we know, we only live once. 148 00:11:53,007 --> 00:11:55,362 And that's now. 149 00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:57,438 You're fucking kidding me! 150 00:12:03,087 --> 00:12:05,726 -Are you coming? -Um...yeah. 151 00:12:05,887 --> 00:12:07,843 Great. What? 152 00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:11,118 -There? -There. 153 00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:19,366 A little slower... 154 00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:23,236 Dennis... I want your big, bad cock inside me right now. 155 00:12:23,407 --> 00:12:26,126 What the fuck...? What are you...? 156 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:30,075 -What are you doing? Get off me! -I'm sorry! 157 00:12:30,247 --> 00:12:33,478 -I'm sorry. -Get the fuck out of here, you bitch! 158 00:12:33,647 --> 00:12:36,036 Fuck. I came... 159 00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:41,962 You fucking retard. Don't you have any sort of boundaries? 160 00:12:42,127 --> 00:12:46,598 You've been at it for an hour because your vag is too loose to come in. 161 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,678 -What did you say? -I'm sorry. 162 00:12:48,847 --> 00:12:51,361 -You're deranged. -Well, you're pathetic. 163 00:12:51,527 --> 00:12:53,677 Fucking anyone just to impress me. 164 00:12:53,847 --> 00:12:56,202 You're the one who's fucked everyone. 165 00:12:56,367 --> 00:13:01,919 -Including the guy you're fucking now. -What? You cunt! Fucking cunt! 166 00:13:02,087 --> 00:13:06,399 I'm kidding! I'd never fuck a guy as disgusting as Tennis-Dennis! 167 00:13:06,527 --> 00:13:09,997 Ow! What the hell? 168 00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:18,205 You're such a failure. You have to leave because you're so fucking sad. 169 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:22,440 I'm sad? Am I the one who's working at mom and dad's all summer? 170 00:13:22,607 --> 00:13:26,566 -Are you the one going to New York? -How will you make it there? 171 00:13:26,727 --> 00:13:30,117 -Will you fuck your way up there, too? - Fuck you. 172 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:33,563 -Let's hear it, then. -Hear what? 173 00:13:33,727 --> 00:13:36,082 Let's hear what you've succeeded at. 174 00:13:36,207 --> 00:13:40,519 -I'm going away. -No, you're running away. 175 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:44,919 Because you're a loser. You've never succeeded at anything. 176 00:13:45,087 --> 00:13:48,045 -I'm going to write. -What? I didn't hear you. 177 00:13:48,207 --> 00:13:51,517 -I'm writing a column. -That you fucked your way to. 178 00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:55,526 You're so scared. You're scared people will see through you. 179 00:13:55,687 --> 00:14:00,636 And see what a failure, and how talentless and disgusting you are. 180 00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:07,000 You have no one to whom you mean the most in the entire world. 181 00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:11,601 Take a fucking look in the mirror. 182 00:14:30,887 --> 00:14:32,639 #103: PROVE LINN WRONG 183 00:14:34,447 --> 00:14:37,723 New York, New York, New York... 184 00:14:42,287 --> 00:14:48,522 Soon I'll be taking off. My city, my friends, my thoughts... 185 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:50,598 It'll all be left behind. 186 00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:54,601 Turned into small, insignificant miniatures in the periphery. 187 00:14:54,767 --> 00:15:00,285 Everything that once mattered, will no longer bear any significance. 188 00:15:00,447 --> 00:15:05,919 One day. By the time this is in print It'll be 24 hours to take-off. 189 00:15:06,087 --> 00:15:10,080 24 hours until my new life begins. 190 00:15:10,247 --> 00:15:13,159 I love that I'm going, but I hate leaving you. 191 00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:16,439 I've got a list. Going to New York Is at the top of it. 192 00:15:16,607 --> 00:15:20,998 I'm counting down every second. 193 00:15:25,127 --> 00:15:28,722 Thanks for helping me soar. I'll "nostalgia-miss" you. 194 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,640 Especially my little big sister. Thank you! 195 00:15:39,007 --> 00:15:40,963 Bravo! 196 00:15:42,927 --> 00:15:45,760 Over here, by the sign. 197 00:15:51,527 --> 00:15:56,362 -Better turnout than your graduation. -I didn't invite everyone I've fucked. 198 00:15:56,447 --> 00:15:59,007 -Say "cheesecake." -Cheesecake! 199 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:02,284 They're so cute... One more! 200 00:16:02,447 --> 00:16:06,360 -You're such a phony. -Better phony than lonely. 201 00:16:06,527 --> 00:16:08,916 Upon graduation, eager and keen 202 00:16:09,087 --> 00:16:12,079 Is my blonde little darling, princess and queen 203 00:16:12,247 --> 00:16:14,715 About to embark on adventures unseen 204 00:16:14,887 --> 00:16:17,560 Blossoming into a rose evergreen 205 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:20,560 She's fragile and fair, with a rarefied sheen 206 00:16:20,727 --> 00:16:23,878 A gemstone of precious aquamarine 207 00:16:24,047 --> 00:16:26,845 To be treasured forever in a shrine of sateen 208 00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:29,567 A girl so ravishing, nice and pristine 209 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:33,083 Our own little graduate, our lovely Kristin 210 00:16:33,247 --> 00:16:38,526 Thanks, Dad. Let's hear it for graduating! Cheers! 211 00:16:38,647 --> 00:16:41,957 For school is finally over, For school is finally over 212 00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:46,803 For school is finally over... We did it and we rock! 213 00:16:49,087 --> 00:16:53,558 I would just like to propose a toast to Kristin. 214 00:16:53,727 --> 00:16:57,686 I've just spent the best week of my life together with her. 215 00:16:57,807 --> 00:17:03,040 Even though I hate to see you go, I want you to know I believe in you. 216 00:17:03,207 --> 00:17:07,519 I'm confident you'll make it, and...you'll conquer the world... 217 00:17:07,687 --> 00:17:11,236 Oh, for... 500 kronor says she's back before Midsummer. 218 00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:16,117 Who'll bet against me? If she's so great it should be easy money. 219 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:20,884 -What are you doing? -No one? 220 00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:29,757 -I'll bet you a thousand kronor. -Yeah, we're all in. 221 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:35,963 -Great. It's a deal. To Kristin! -To Kristin! 222 00:17:42,847 --> 00:17:46,157 -Come on! I've just graduated. -So has everyone else. 223 00:17:46,367 --> 00:17:48,517 -Huh? -So has everyone else! 224 00:17:48,647 --> 00:17:52,401 -Take it, it's on the house. -Thank you! 225 00:17:56,647 --> 00:17:58,558 This is my song! 226 00:17:58,727 --> 00:18:00,957 That's great. 227 00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:10,355 New York! It's so insane! I'm gonna miss you so much. 228 00:18:10,487 --> 00:18:14,719 In New York, every night will be exactly like this one. 229 00:18:26,407 --> 00:18:32,004 I don't want this to be the last I see of you before you leave for New York. 230 00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:35,762 That's hours away. We've got all night. 231 00:18:35,927 --> 00:18:39,078 -But we are sleeping together? -Of course we are. 232 00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:41,846 Yes... 233 00:18:44,127 --> 00:18:46,880 -What about your boyfriend? -What boyfriend? 234 00:18:47,047 --> 00:18:52,360 The guy who ran after us screaming you were his all, that he loved you... 235 00:18:58,647 --> 00:19:00,558 What the hell? 236 00:19:04,247 --> 00:19:07,603 -Why are you hiding? -I dunno. You did. 237 00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:15,927 Hi, what are you guys doing? 238 00:19:16,047 --> 00:19:19,278 Hi, Neo. We're just playing hide-and-seek. 239 00:19:19,447 --> 00:19:22,166 -You found us. -Yay! Now you come find me. 240 00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:26,645 Yes, go hide somewhere great, where no one will ever find you. 241 00:19:26,807 --> 00:19:28,798 Cut it out. 242 00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:33,882 Can't sleep? Go back to bed, and I'll come read you a story. 243 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:37,005 - The Little Prince? -Sure. 244 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:42,881 -His name is actually Neo? -Yeah, so? Like "The Matrix." 245 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:46,636 -Wait, you're leaving? -Yes. 246 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:33,724 Who are you? What are you doing in my room? 247 00:20:33,847 --> 00:20:38,637 I'm just looking for the bathroom. I need to pee. 248 00:20:38,807 --> 00:20:41,526 And I know your brother. Kind of. 249 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:47,155 -I'm Kristin. I don't recognize you. -I don't recognize you. 250 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:50,882 -Sure you do. I graduated today. -Congratulations. 251 00:20:51,047 --> 00:20:54,722 -And I was published in the paper. -That's great. 252 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,560 Can't you turn that thing off? 253 00:20:58,527 --> 00:21:00,279 Yes, turn it off. 254 00:21:00,447 --> 00:21:04,884 -Hi! Didn't you graduate today? -No, I'm only sixteen. 255 00:21:05,047 --> 00:21:11,043 Oh, okay... But this is perfect! Because Gustav bailed on me. 256 00:21:11,207 --> 00:21:13,960 So I'm gonna need someone to keep me awake. 257 00:21:14,087 --> 00:21:17,079 -What, you mean me? -Yes. Are you game? 258 00:21:17,247 --> 00:21:20,080 -But I... -You keep your brother's promise. 259 00:21:20,247 --> 00:21:25,480 -Of an unforgettable night. -Okay... 260 00:21:29,087 --> 00:21:31,760 What if your parents wake up? 261 00:21:31,927 --> 00:21:36,478 -They're away camping. On Öland. -Okay... 262 00:21:38,367 --> 00:21:40,278 Holy shit.... 263 00:21:40,447 --> 00:21:44,122 -What would you like? -Whatever has the most alcohol in it. 264 00:21:44,287 --> 00:21:47,120 -You planning on flying drunk? -Yes, I am. 265 00:21:47,287 --> 00:21:49,437 Video games! Awesome! 266 00:21:49,607 --> 00:21:52,883 I've got a list of 1,000 things to do before I die. 267 00:21:53,047 --> 00:21:57,757 One is to get a word into the Swedish lexicon. 268 00:21:57,927 --> 00:22:02,125 -It's kind of complicated. -So you got any words? 269 00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:06,565 "Café crush." It's when you're in a coffee shop... 270 00:22:06,727 --> 00:22:12,085 ...and you spot a guy that you kind of think is hot or whatever... 271 00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:15,000 And you kind of start fantasizing about him. 272 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:18,398 I guess you get a crush on him, or whatever. 273 00:22:18,527 --> 00:22:22,725 I've got quite a few more words, but none comes to mind right now. 274 00:22:22,887 --> 00:22:25,117 It's all a bit dorky. 275 00:22:30,287 --> 00:22:33,563 It's an hour before I have to leave. 276 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:36,366 I know what half of a movie we can watch. 277 00:22:36,487 --> 00:22:39,638 -No way. -Come on, let's do it. 278 00:22:39,807 --> 00:22:43,766 No way. One, it's half a movie. Two, we'll fall asleep. 279 00:22:43,927 --> 00:22:47,556 Come on. I don't fall asleep to movies, not even bad ones. 280 00:22:47,727 --> 00:22:52,926 -This one's got the best beginning. -Okay, fine. Bring it on. 281 00:23:25,847 --> 00:23:28,486 -Where's my cell? -It's there somewhere. 282 00:23:28,647 --> 00:23:31,115 The alarm went off, so I turned it off. 283 00:23:31,287 --> 00:23:33,118 What are you, retarded? 284 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:43,481 Fuck! 285 00:23:56,287 --> 00:23:58,847 Call a cab! 286 00:24:05,367 --> 00:24:08,757 Say bye to dad and Linn. Okay, bye! 287 00:24:11,767 --> 00:24:15,476 Panpipes - that's the stuff. World's oldest music. 288 00:24:15,607 --> 00:24:20,761 It was the shepherds who came up with it, and started playing... 289 00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:27,116 They wanted to replicate the sound of the wind as they herded sheep. 290 00:24:27,287 --> 00:24:30,882 You bet. That's how it happened. 291 00:24:31,047 --> 00:24:34,084 Oh, my... It's just great. 292 00:24:36,447 --> 00:24:37,675 Keep the change! 293 00:24:37,847 --> 00:24:42,238 -Here you go. Good luck! -Thanks! 294 00:25:08,807 --> 00:25:11,958 You can't reschedule after take-off. 295 00:25:12,127 --> 00:25:18,475 I'll die if I can't go. I've already paid three months' rent upfront. 296 00:25:18,687 --> 00:25:21,679 That was literally all my money. Please, please! 297 00:25:21,807 --> 00:25:25,197 -Please, please, please! -Fine, I'll tell you what. 298 00:25:25,367 --> 00:25:31,363 I'll put you on a waiting list. We'll call you if a seat becomes available. 299 00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:34,200 Thank you so much! Thank you, thank you! 300 00:25:39,087 --> 00:25:41,920 I still get to be on the list, right? 301 00:25:42,887 --> 00:25:44,798 Mm-hm. 302 00:25:49,767 --> 00:25:52,122 I'm sorry. 303 00:25:53,087 --> 00:25:56,363 -I don't know what to say. -That's right, you don't. 304 00:26:07,687 --> 00:26:12,158 Thanks for the ride. And you - you I don't want to see ever again. 305 00:26:15,127 --> 00:26:17,960 -Just so you know. -All right. 306 00:26:21,287 --> 00:26:23,357 Okay, all set. I'm coming. 307 00:26:23,527 --> 00:26:26,963 Watch out, expensive bike coming through. 308 00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:30,841 -Watch it! Ow! -Fucking...crap bike. 309 00:26:30,967 --> 00:26:35,836 It set me back 25,000 kronor, and I can't even get it out the door. 310 00:26:36,807 --> 00:26:41,437 -Who keeps their bike inside? -There are so many lowlifes out there. 311 00:26:41,567 --> 00:26:45,799 Fucking pisses me off. Goddamn it! The paint job's all... 312 00:26:45,967 --> 00:26:48,527 -That's hardly my fault. -...fucked. Huh? 313 00:26:48,687 --> 00:26:50,996 -Kristin speaking. - Hey, it's Daniel. 314 00:26:51,127 --> 00:26:53,687 -Oh, hi... - Why are you whispering? 315 00:26:53,847 --> 00:26:58,079 I've just boarded the plane. They asked us to turn off our phones. 316 00:26:58,247 --> 00:27:03,401 So I'll be brief. Just wanted to say, everybody loved your column. 317 00:27:03,527 --> 00:27:07,122 Everyone on the staff thinks your piece is, um, tight. 318 00:27:07,287 --> 00:27:10,040 - Walt, is that right? Stoked. -Yes... 319 00:27:10,207 --> 00:27:12,926 We're stoked to hear about your adventures. 320 00:27:13,087 --> 00:27:15,840 Because your writing is tight. 321 00:27:16,007 --> 00:27:20,762 Keep it up when you get to New York. Take in your surroundings. 322 00:27:20,887 --> 00:27:23,765 Just "fasten your seat belts" and...talk soon. 323 00:27:23,927 --> 00:27:25,838 - Questions? -No, I... 324 00:27:26,007 --> 00:27:28,601 - Great, bye. -Bye... 325 00:28:09,447 --> 00:28:14,475 Hi. I thought you never wanted to see me again. 326 00:28:14,607 --> 00:28:19,158 I don't, but I had to return the scooter, so I had no choice. 327 00:28:19,367 --> 00:28:22,882 -Can we talk? -Sure, talk all you want. 328 00:28:23,047 --> 00:28:29,395 -Okay, I meant in private. -You'll have to come to the beach. 329 00:28:29,567 --> 00:28:32,400 -We're going swimming. -We're going swimming. 330 00:28:51,367 --> 00:28:53,437 -You're not coming in? -Um, no. 331 00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:57,919 The water's crazy cold and rancid. There's, like, dinosaur pee in it. 332 00:28:58,087 --> 00:29:02,877 -Besides, the airline might call. -They won't call the same day. 333 00:29:03,047 --> 00:29:06,403 Can you time me while I hold my breath underwater? 334 00:29:06,527 --> 00:29:08,438 Okay. Ready? 335 00:29:08,607 --> 00:29:11,075 Ready...set...go! 336 00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:16,365 Aren't going to say something? You owe me a summer in Central Park. 337 00:29:16,527 --> 00:29:19,280 This trip was my life. What should I do now? 338 00:29:19,447 --> 00:29:23,440 -I don't know what I can do... -No, you don't. You have no idea. 339 00:29:23,607 --> 00:29:26,280 -How long was I under? -16.12 seconds. 340 00:29:26,447 --> 00:29:28,358 -One more time. -No, Neo... 341 00:29:28,487 --> 00:29:31,160 Ready...set...go! 342 00:29:32,127 --> 00:29:35,517 -Listen, I'm sorry. -"Sorry" won't get me to New York. 343 00:29:35,687 --> 00:29:39,646 -Just wait for the airline to call. -Yeah, but I can't go home. 344 00:29:39,807 --> 00:29:41,843 -Why not? -I just can't, okay? 345 00:29:41,967 --> 00:29:46,358 -How long was I under? -14.12 seconds. You did great! 346 00:29:46,527 --> 00:29:50,361 -No, I did worse than last time. -But you came really close. 347 00:29:50,487 --> 00:29:52,000 -Again! -No, enough. 348 00:29:52,167 --> 00:29:54,806 Ready...set...go! 349 00:29:56,247 --> 00:29:59,717 You'll have to make sure I can stay here for now. 350 00:29:59,887 --> 00:30:04,085 -Of course you can stay here. -What? So I can just stay here? 351 00:30:04,247 --> 00:30:08,923 But we're not best friends or anything. You keep to yourself. 352 00:30:09,087 --> 00:30:11,806 This is just because you owe me an apology. 353 00:30:11,967 --> 00:30:14,606 -How long? -Sorry, I forgot to stop it! 354 00:30:14,767 --> 00:30:16,678 Oh, no! 355 00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:25,366 Neo, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to. I swear. 356 00:30:26,287 --> 00:30:28,198 Please, Neo. 357 00:30:29,167 --> 00:30:31,078 Let it go and move on already! 358 00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:33,397 -This is the kitchen. -It's nice. 359 00:30:33,567 --> 00:30:36,639 -Take whatever you want in the fridge. -Thanks. 360 00:30:36,767 --> 00:30:40,806 -This is the dining room. -What's the deal with all this? 361 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:46,842 The right amount of something ugly makes it pretty. 362 00:30:47,007 --> 00:30:50,966 Huh? Say what? 363 00:30:53,047 --> 00:30:57,484 -This is the bathroom. -Okay... 364 00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:00,480 But...who did all this? 365 00:31:00,647 --> 00:31:03,161 I did. 366 00:31:05,487 --> 00:31:07,398 Sick. 367 00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:11,803 I mean... Like, what the fuck? 368 00:31:11,967 --> 00:31:15,755 -It's nice, huh? -You've got a basement swimming pool? 369 00:31:15,927 --> 00:31:18,361 Make the most of it while you're here. 370 00:31:18,527 --> 00:31:23,840 Yeah. But you better not push me in. I'll kill you if you do. Okay? 371 00:31:25,407 --> 00:31:28,399 You can swim in the pool if the sea's so rancid. 372 00:31:28,527 --> 00:31:32,645 No, thanks. I bet you and your brother have had incest sex in it. 373 00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:37,805 Or, like, your parents. 374 00:31:43,207 --> 00:31:45,198 Help! 375 00:31:49,807 --> 00:31:53,117 -I could have died! -You can stand in the water. 376 00:31:53,287 --> 00:31:57,075 So? People have drowned in puddles. 377 00:32:04,487 --> 00:32:08,526 You can stay in Neo's room. He can sleep in my room. 378 00:32:08,687 --> 00:32:10,996 It's a bit gay. 379 00:32:12,927 --> 00:32:14,963 We need back-up. 380 00:32:17,087 --> 00:32:19,681 What's this room? I can stay in here. 381 00:32:19,847 --> 00:32:22,725 It's my parents' room, so you can't. 382 00:32:22,887 --> 00:32:25,276 I can stay in here till they get back. 383 00:32:25,447 --> 00:32:29,918 No, you can't. I'd feel weird about it. 384 00:32:30,087 --> 00:32:32,885 -How long have your parents...? -I said no. 385 00:32:33,047 --> 00:32:35,083 Okay, relax. 386 00:32:42,407 --> 00:32:45,638 Great... An attic. 387 00:32:45,807 --> 00:32:48,765 I guess you could go home. 388 00:32:48,927 --> 00:32:53,921 No, it'll be fine. I'll just pretend it's my penthouse in New York. 389 00:32:54,087 --> 00:32:55,998 If that makes you happier... 390 00:32:56,167 --> 00:32:58,635 If you'd been to New York, you'd get it. 391 00:32:58,767 --> 00:33:05,036 Yeah. But whatever. I'm going out for a run. 392 00:33:05,207 --> 00:33:10,600 What about me? You're just going to leave me all alone? 393 00:34:18,167 --> 00:34:21,364 Why, hello... So you're awake? 394 00:34:21,527 --> 00:34:24,883 -Yes. You woke me up. -It's 11 a.m. 395 00:34:25,047 --> 00:34:27,356 -Not in New York. -No, that's right. 396 00:34:27,527 --> 00:34:30,166 -Wanna help? -No thanks. 397 00:34:30,367 --> 00:34:34,280 -I've got more important things to do. -Okie-doke. 398 00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:56,519 Basement. Penthouse. Small town. Big city. 399 00:34:56,687 --> 00:34:59,645 Tragedy. Euphoria. 400 00:34:59,767 --> 00:35:02,964 I love contrasts. Clear distinctions. 401 00:35:03,127 --> 00:35:05,436 Right...and wrong. 402 00:35:05,607 --> 00:35:07,757 Love...or hate. 403 00:35:09,727 --> 00:35:13,845 I love how the skyscrapers soar like pines towards the blue sky. 404 00:35:14,007 --> 00:35:18,046 I'm really here. Breathing, thinking, living. 405 00:35:18,207 --> 00:35:21,199 New York. People swarm like ants. 406 00:35:21,367 --> 00:35:24,439 I go up the elevator of Empire State Building. 407 00:35:24,607 --> 00:35:27,360 It's not the only thing moving upwards now. 408 00:35:27,487 --> 00:35:32,003 It's the city that never sleeps. People living 24/7. 409 00:35:32,167 --> 00:35:36,206 Thump, thump, thump. I can feel the throbbing pulse. 410 00:35:36,367 --> 00:35:39,120 I feel the possibilities. I feel... 411 00:36:05,047 --> 00:36:07,277 Hi, Neo. 412 00:36:13,047 --> 00:36:15,720 -Morning. -Hi. 413 00:36:18,927 --> 00:36:20,838 Was it yesterday that we...? 414 00:36:21,007 --> 00:36:24,443 No, I missed my flight because you turned off my alarm. 415 00:36:24,607 --> 00:36:27,644 Now I'm stuck here till they sort out my ticket. 416 00:36:27,807 --> 00:36:29,286 Cool, cool. 417 00:36:31,007 --> 00:36:35,876 I'm finally in the city that feels as fictitious as Duckburg. 418 00:36:36,047 --> 00:36:39,756 But in reality, It's more alive than anything else. 419 00:36:39,927 --> 00:36:43,602 I see all kinds of people. Hunky bartenders in East Village 420 00:36:43,767 --> 00:36:47,157 and midnight cowboys outside the movie theaters. 421 00:36:47,287 --> 00:36:50,484 I'm so ingenuous! 422 00:36:50,647 --> 00:36:53,957 -Ingenious. -What? 423 00:36:54,127 --> 00:36:56,357 You mean "ingenious". 424 00:36:56,527 --> 00:36:59,519 -No, it's "ingenuous". -Ingenious. 425 00:36:59,687 --> 00:37:03,839 No, it's not. Ingenuity, ingenuous, ingenuousness... 426 00:37:05,807 --> 00:37:08,241 Ingenious. 427 00:37:08,367 --> 00:37:11,518 Gustav, is it ingenious or ingenuous? 428 00:37:11,687 --> 00:37:14,406 No idea, I've never used that word. 429 00:37:23,847 --> 00:37:29,365 "Have you met Gustav?" "Who's that?" "The ingenious guy." 430 00:37:29,447 --> 00:37:31,358 You have one new message. 431 00:37:31,527 --> 00:37:37,762 Hello, Kristin! I just added you as a friend on the Facebook site. 432 00:37:37,927 --> 00:37:40,122 I've actually poked you repeatedly. 433 00:37:40,287 --> 00:37:42,847 You haven't reciprocated any of my pokes. 434 00:37:42,967 --> 00:37:44,878 Is everything all right? 435 00:37:45,047 --> 00:37:49,598 Your image would benefit greatly if you took a few pictures. 436 00:37:49,727 --> 00:37:55,359 Some people have no imagination. Which is just so totally right. 437 00:37:55,487 --> 00:37:59,002 That's exactly the kind of modern approach we take. 438 00:37:59,167 --> 00:38:01,886 I thought it would go great with your list. 439 00:38:02,047 --> 00:38:05,403 Voice mall, it's so tricky. There's no back and forth. 440 00:38:05,567 --> 00:38:08,639 You never know when to stop talking. 441 00:38:08,807 --> 00:38:11,480 They're calling me on the other line here. 442 00:38:11,647 --> 00:38:15,526 Don't forget to send pictures. Okay, bye. 443 00:38:22,207 --> 00:38:27,042 Andrea! Wow, it's so nice up here. 444 00:38:27,167 --> 00:38:31,206 -You awake now? -Yes. And I need your help. 445 00:38:31,367 --> 00:38:35,076 -But... Come on, please! -No. 446 00:38:35,247 --> 00:38:37,363 -Please. -I don't know... 447 00:38:37,527 --> 00:38:39,438 Come on, it'll be fun. 448 00:38:39,567 --> 00:38:43,958 -No, I've got a ton of stuff to do. -You'll do them later. 449 00:38:44,127 --> 00:38:46,516 -Please. -No! 450 00:38:46,687 --> 00:38:50,965 I'll help you if you help me. Please, please, please... 451 00:38:51,087 --> 00:38:54,124 No... I don't know. 452 00:38:54,287 --> 00:38:56,676 Yes, please. 453 00:38:59,367 --> 00:39:01,597 Come on. 454 00:39:04,727 --> 00:39:07,639 I'll swat every fly in this place! 455 00:39:08,607 --> 00:39:11,167 Please, please, please! 456 00:39:11,287 --> 00:39:14,245 Okay. Fine. 457 00:39:14,407 --> 00:39:20,164 -Okay... What do we do now? -Here, shoot me using Hipstamatic. 458 00:39:20,367 --> 00:39:24,997 There... It'll make it look like New York. Okay? 459 00:39:27,687 --> 00:39:30,247 -Ready? -Yes. 460 00:39:30,407 --> 00:39:32,841 Ready...set...go! 461 00:39:40,847 --> 00:39:43,759 #604: USE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER IN A PUBLIC PLACE 462 00:40:02,367 --> 00:40:05,120 #359: SHAVE A FUR COAT 463 00:40:19,367 --> 00:40:22,245 -I can't run any faster! -Come on! 464 00:40:22,407 --> 00:40:23,999 Wait up! 465 00:40:27,487 --> 00:40:29,921 -Take a pic! -Okay. 466 00:40:30,047 --> 00:40:34,598 #324: JUMP ON A MOVING TRAIN 467 00:40:40,607 --> 00:40:44,646 "I rub my eyes and pinch myself- I'm really here." 468 00:40:44,807 --> 00:40:48,766 "I fear if I close my eyes it'll all be gone when I open them." 469 00:40:48,927 --> 00:40:52,761 "We're on rooftops, at coffee shops, and by an indoor pool." 470 00:40:52,927 --> 00:40:57,523 "But New York is no longer a dream. It splashes you with cold water." 471 00:40:57,687 --> 00:41:02,124 "The last thing I see at night is the Manhattan skyline from Brooklyn." 472 00:41:02,287 --> 00:41:06,166 -"Tomorrow it'll get real when I..." -What? Did I misspell it? 473 00:41:06,367 --> 00:41:09,757 It says you have an audition for a Tobey Maguire film. 474 00:41:09,927 --> 00:41:13,886 -What do you think, too much? -I mean...maybe a little. 475 00:41:14,047 --> 00:41:17,357 Fuck! She's calling me. 476 00:41:22,887 --> 00:41:25,924 Hi, Linn! Yeah... 477 00:41:26,087 --> 00:41:28,840 Give me ten minutes to get to a Starbucks. 478 00:41:29,007 --> 00:41:31,567 They're everywhere here. 479 00:41:31,727 --> 00:41:34,036 Bye. 480 00:41:34,207 --> 00:41:37,244 Is there a Starbucks around here? 481 00:42:02,287 --> 00:42:04,357 Hi, Kristin! Long time no talk. 482 00:42:04,487 --> 00:42:06,921 What's up? It seems pretty tight there. 483 00:42:07,087 --> 00:42:11,444 It's so amazing. The city, the people - everything. 484 00:42:15,687 --> 00:42:19,680 -It's my friend Andrea. -Oh... Who's she? 485 00:42:19,847 --> 00:42:23,840 Can I talk to her? Can you just turn the computer around? 486 00:42:24,007 --> 00:42:27,238 Um...they have a no-filming policy at Starbucks. 487 00:42:27,407 --> 00:42:30,797 She's just going to order, she'll be right with us. 488 00:42:33,767 --> 00:42:37,726 You can barely order a coffee without signing a bunch of papers. 489 00:42:37,887 --> 00:42:40,640 Wow... Is it like in the movies? 490 00:42:40,807 --> 00:42:46,643 Yes, it's exactly like the movies. I mean, you've seen the movies. 491 00:42:57,967 --> 00:42:59,958 Is it a long line, or...? 492 00:43:00,127 --> 00:43:03,244 Um, yeah... Kind of. Oh, here she is now! 493 00:43:17,367 --> 00:43:21,042 We'll have to talk more. There's not much going on here... 494 00:43:21,207 --> 00:43:23,675 Yeah, but there's lots going on here. 495 00:43:23,807 --> 00:43:27,482 I have to hang with Andrea now. I don't want to be rude. 496 00:43:27,607 --> 00:43:31,236 But say hi to Tennis-Dennis, and we'll talk. 497 00:43:33,567 --> 00:43:37,560 No... We're not dating anymore. 498 00:43:37,727 --> 00:43:40,639 What? Oh my God, I'm so sorry. 499 00:43:44,887 --> 00:43:48,277 Maybe it was just as well. You deserve so much better. 500 00:43:48,447 --> 00:43:52,520 -Thanks... -Okay, well, talk soon. Bye! 501 00:44:01,567 --> 00:44:06,163 This is so awesome. I'm turning you into a French photography student. 502 00:44:06,367 --> 00:44:09,484 -How original... -Yes, I'm very original. 503 00:44:11,767 --> 00:44:14,361 Aren't you afraid you'll fall and die? 504 00:44:14,487 --> 00:44:17,763 No. Why, are you afraid I will? 505 00:44:17,927 --> 00:44:23,365 No, but it would be a shame if you slipped a little and just... 506 00:44:27,607 --> 00:44:31,236 -That's not the sound you make. -Sure it is. 507 00:44:35,967 --> 00:44:40,483 This is so nice. No more work. 508 00:44:43,207 --> 00:44:47,405 Bacon. One point. 509 00:44:50,487 --> 00:44:53,399 What are your plans in life? After I'm gone. 510 00:44:53,567 --> 00:44:56,684 -I dunno. -What do you want to become? 511 00:44:56,807 --> 00:44:59,958 I don't want to become anything in particular. 512 00:45:00,127 --> 00:45:04,564 -Be serious. -Not everyone wants to "become." 513 00:45:04,727 --> 00:45:06,683 Isn't it enough to just be? 514 00:45:06,847 --> 00:45:10,965 That is so pretentious. Like, what do you know? 515 00:45:14,807 --> 00:45:17,275 Shut up! 516 00:45:20,487 --> 00:45:21,840 Cut it out! 517 00:45:24,767 --> 00:45:28,203 Cut it out with the voice. 518 00:45:28,367 --> 00:45:30,119 Oui, oui. 519 00:45:31,447 --> 00:45:36,043 Life is so simple for you. You have no problems. 520 00:45:36,167 --> 00:45:40,001 You just live and enjoy yourself- content, like a cow. 521 00:45:40,127 --> 00:45:44,405 -Maybe it seems simple, but... -What is it? 522 00:45:44,567 --> 00:45:46,444 Nothing. 523 00:45:46,607 --> 00:45:50,156 -Something's up. -No, it's nothing. 524 00:45:53,847 --> 00:45:57,283 -Andrea... -Can't sleep? 525 00:45:57,447 --> 00:46:02,805 There's a scary clown in the closet, and Piglet's still in there. 526 00:46:02,967 --> 00:46:06,960 We'll have to burst the clown's balloons so he comes out. 527 00:46:25,527 --> 00:46:29,486 Kristin! They quoted you on the front page! 528 00:46:29,647 --> 00:46:31,399 Seriously? What's it say? 529 00:46:31,567 --> 00:46:34,365 "New York is like a bitch slap in the face." 530 00:46:34,487 --> 00:46:36,921 Holy shit, I wrote that! 531 00:46:44,447 --> 00:46:48,884 "New York is like a bitch slap in the face." What does that even mean? 532 00:46:49,047 --> 00:46:51,720 That is like, totally unreal. 533 00:46:51,887 --> 00:46:54,879 She says that right after. 534 00:46:55,847 --> 00:46:58,680 So she's living in a penthouse? 535 00:46:58,807 --> 00:47:01,685 -Yes. -Wow. 536 00:47:01,847 --> 00:47:06,637 Sounds pretty tight. A penthouse, that's... 537 00:47:06,807 --> 00:47:12,006 Then she writes: "It's sad to think of the people I've disappointed." 538 00:47:12,967 --> 00:47:16,516 -Maybe she's talking about you. -Get real. 539 00:47:25,207 --> 00:47:30,361 -I'll never make it. -Come on. Don't give up so easily. 540 00:47:30,447 --> 00:47:32,358 You came really close. 541 00:47:32,447 --> 00:47:34,597 #520: MAKE A HOLE-IN-ONE 542 00:47:35,567 --> 00:47:40,687 -Oops... -We have to come up with something. 543 00:47:45,527 --> 00:47:47,040 Almost. 544 00:47:54,367 --> 00:47:56,801 Next shot you'll get super lucky! 545 00:48:01,407 --> 00:48:03,363 Yes! 546 00:48:14,087 --> 00:48:19,639 Okay, here it goes... I can't swim. 547 00:48:21,687 --> 00:48:26,807 Does it bother you? I kind of understood that. 548 00:48:26,967 --> 00:48:30,926 But how come? I thought everybody learned to swim. 549 00:48:31,087 --> 00:48:33,237 I know, but... 550 00:48:33,407 --> 00:48:38,720 I just hate to be seen as being bad at stuff, and the years just passed... 551 00:48:38,887 --> 00:48:41,765 It's just stupid. 552 00:48:41,927 --> 00:48:44,964 I can teach you how to swim. I taught Neo. 553 00:48:45,127 --> 00:48:48,005 Stop making fun of me. 554 00:48:48,167 --> 00:48:53,366 -No, I'm being serious. -You want to? For real? 555 00:48:53,527 --> 00:48:57,236 -You can use one of those floats. -I'm not twelve. 556 00:48:57,407 --> 00:49:00,638 -Oh, come on... -What's the matter with you? 557 00:49:00,767 --> 00:49:02,837 -What do you mean? -What I mean? 558 00:49:03,007 --> 00:49:05,567 You left Neo waiting for you to get him. 559 00:49:05,727 --> 00:49:08,195 Oh, with his arms crossed like this? 560 00:49:08,367 --> 00:49:11,518 -It's not a joke. -I'm sorry. I lost track of time. 561 00:49:11,687 --> 00:49:16,681 You forgot you have a responsibility. I had to call in sick to get him. 562 00:49:16,847 --> 00:49:19,281 You know I can't risk my job like that. 563 00:49:19,447 --> 00:49:21,005 I know. 564 00:49:22,167 --> 00:49:24,761 Oh, great... 565 00:49:26,287 --> 00:49:28,198 What are you fighting about? 566 00:49:28,367 --> 00:49:32,360 Small, insignificant things. It's nothing. 567 00:49:32,527 --> 00:49:36,566 -Let's go read a story. -Yes! The Little Prince! 568 00:49:40,407 --> 00:49:42,875 -You need to chill out. -Stay out of it. 569 00:49:43,047 --> 00:49:47,757 What kind of parents run off to Öland leaving Andrea to handle everything? 570 00:49:47,927 --> 00:49:51,806 -What are you talking about? -Your incompetent parents. 571 00:49:51,967 --> 00:49:56,802 You are dumb. Our parents are dead, haven't you figured that out yet? 572 00:49:56,967 --> 00:50:01,245 Did you figure we live here by ourselves for the fun of it? 573 00:50:19,927 --> 00:50:22,202 -Are you going out for a run? -Yeah. 574 00:50:22,367 --> 00:50:25,598 -Wanna do something later? -No, I need to sleep. 575 00:50:25,767 --> 00:50:30,397 Then I've got lots of catching up to do. All right, see ya. 576 00:50:34,847 --> 00:50:39,523 -What are you doing? -Giving you a bitch hug. 577 00:50:42,087 --> 00:50:43,361 What does that mean? 578 00:50:43,527 --> 00:50:46,246 It's like a bitch slap, but a hug instead. 579 00:50:46,367 --> 00:50:50,963 Almost instinctual, with minimal thought and maximal force. 580 00:50:51,927 --> 00:50:53,838 All right... 581 00:50:55,167 --> 00:50:57,078 Hey... 582 00:51:39,087 --> 00:51:41,282 Andrea? 583 00:51:43,567 --> 00:51:46,161 Andrea. 584 00:51:53,287 --> 00:51:57,280 -Can't I come in? -I'm going to sleep. 585 00:51:59,007 --> 00:52:02,397 -We can fall asleep to a movie. -No. 586 00:52:08,967 --> 00:52:13,245 -Can't we just talk? -No, because I'm working tomorrow. 587 00:52:16,967 --> 00:52:19,276 Okay. 588 00:52:24,407 --> 00:52:27,001 Good night. 589 00:52:29,927 --> 00:52:31,918 Good night. 590 00:52:43,807 --> 00:52:47,482 -Can you to teach me to swim today? -No, I have work to do. 591 00:52:47,647 --> 00:52:51,686 -I'll help you if you help me. -No, it'll take too long. 592 00:52:52,647 --> 00:52:57,118 -What's the matter? -Nothing. I just don't have time. 593 00:53:03,207 --> 00:53:05,357 Morning... Morning. 594 00:53:13,567 --> 00:53:16,365 It's time for you and me to do some bonding. 595 00:53:16,527 --> 00:53:18,165 -Huh? -Come on. 596 00:53:18,367 --> 00:53:20,358 -What about my coffee? -Leave it. 597 00:53:20,527 --> 00:53:22,643 What are we doing? 598 00:53:26,167 --> 00:53:30,638 -This is just goddamned stupid. -You're being so negative. 599 00:53:30,807 --> 00:53:33,560 #576: ROLL OVER A COW It's a myth, you can't roll over a cow. 600 00:53:33,727 --> 00:53:40,166 -Besides, these are wide awake bulls. -So? Same thing. Right? 601 00:53:43,927 --> 00:53:47,556 Come here! Stop! 602 00:54:14,567 --> 00:54:15,795 #711: PICNIC ON A HOOD 603 00:54:15,967 --> 00:54:17,923 So you were there, in the car? 604 00:54:18,087 --> 00:54:23,844 Yeah... In the back seat. We were coming back from camping. 605 00:54:25,007 --> 00:54:29,285 -Holy shit... -We don't really think about it. 606 00:54:29,447 --> 00:54:32,564 -Andrea dropped out of junior high. -She quit school? 607 00:54:32,727 --> 00:54:36,242 She couldn't stand the attention, feeling like a victim. 608 00:54:36,407 --> 00:54:39,365 I wish she'd been able to tell me. 609 00:54:45,847 --> 00:54:49,886 Isn't it a little kinky to eat a penis-shaped popsicle? 610 00:54:50,047 --> 00:54:56,395 What's wrong with you? You ruined this whole moment we had going. 611 00:54:56,567 --> 00:54:59,798 -Let's go home. -What? No, I've gotta get to work. 612 00:54:59,967 --> 00:55:02,481 What about me? 613 00:55:04,247 --> 00:55:07,239 -What are you doing? -I'm hiding. 614 00:55:07,367 --> 00:55:11,679 -Okay... Cool, cool. -What am I supposed to do all night? 615 00:55:11,847 --> 00:55:14,884 Beats me. This wasn't my idea. 616 00:55:18,167 --> 00:55:20,476 See you in a few hours, then. 617 00:55:32,007 --> 00:55:33,998 How long is this going to take? 618 00:55:34,167 --> 00:55:39,799 It's the holiday season. Many people go to New York to enjoy summer. 619 00:55:46,847 --> 00:55:49,520 -What the hell happened? -Um... Hide. 620 00:55:49,647 --> 00:55:51,558 -What? -Just hide. 621 00:55:51,727 --> 00:55:55,356 -What the hell... -Get down. 622 00:55:58,207 --> 00:56:02,359 -Thanks for giving me a ride. -Yeah, no problem. 623 00:56:07,807 --> 00:56:12,722 It's so hard to write something smart using just 140 characters. 624 00:56:12,887 --> 00:56:16,402 You'd have to be a genius to become famous on Twitter. 625 00:56:16,527 --> 00:56:18,597 -Right... -What's so funny? 626 00:56:18,767 --> 00:56:21,156 I just thought of something funny. 627 00:56:21,287 --> 00:56:25,724 -Did you hear what I said at all? -Yes, it's tough, it's hard. 628 00:56:25,887 --> 00:56:29,243 -Think about it. 140 characters. -Right, that's a lot. 629 00:56:29,407 --> 00:56:33,082 -That's... not a lot. -Right, that's not very much at all. 630 00:56:34,367 --> 00:56:37,837 -This is you, right? -Yes. Thanks for the ride. 631 00:56:38,007 --> 00:56:40,805 -No problem. -See you around. 632 00:56:43,407 --> 00:56:46,046 Bye. 633 00:56:46,207 --> 00:56:48,767 You've got a real competitor there. 634 00:57:01,367 --> 00:57:03,835 Can you help me get out? My leg's asleep. 635 00:57:04,007 --> 00:57:05,918 Yeah, all right. 636 00:57:17,487 --> 00:57:23,039 Can't you come up with me to my room? I don't want to be alone. 637 00:58:40,367 --> 00:58:44,565 -Don't do anything stupid. -What are you doing here? 638 00:58:44,727 --> 00:58:47,764 -I got worried. -So you followed me? 639 00:58:47,927 --> 00:58:51,044 No. You have to tell me why you do this. 640 00:58:51,207 --> 00:58:55,485 -I don't have to do anything. -You're running away, just like me. 641 00:58:55,647 --> 00:58:57,842 It's not the same thing. 642 00:59:00,087 --> 00:59:02,760 It was all so much easier before I met you. 643 00:59:02,927 --> 00:59:06,283 It was easier for me, too, before I met you. 644 00:59:06,407 --> 00:59:09,479 But that doesn't mean it was better, does it? 645 00:59:09,647 --> 00:59:13,276 Please step away from the ledge, you're making me nervous. 646 00:59:25,247 --> 00:59:30,002 I'll just sit here in silence till you tell me why you run here every night. 647 00:59:30,167 --> 00:59:33,443 Maybe I just like the view. 648 00:59:40,167 --> 00:59:44,922 I like running at night, when everyone's asleep. 649 00:59:47,847 --> 00:59:49,838 Stop it! 650 00:59:52,367 --> 00:59:55,916 So you're not going to say anything? 651 01:00:00,567 --> 01:00:03,161 Why would I tell you? 652 01:00:03,367 --> 01:00:07,440 Because for the first time in my life I'm curious about someone. 653 01:00:07,607 --> 01:00:11,566 I want to know all about you. I want to tell you everything. 654 01:00:11,687 --> 01:00:15,396 -Stop being such a drama queen. -What do you want me to do? 655 01:00:15,527 --> 01:00:17,438 I've run half a marathon. 656 01:00:17,607 --> 01:00:21,805 I've tried asking you nicely and I've tried pissing you off. 657 01:00:21,967 --> 01:00:25,118 What will it take for you to tell me? 658 01:00:27,527 --> 01:00:29,563 They're dead. 659 01:00:33,567 --> 01:00:36,479 They died in a car accident two years ago. 660 01:00:36,647 --> 01:00:38,763 Is that why you dropped out? 661 01:00:38,927 --> 01:00:43,398 Yes. I couldn't stand people feeling sorry for me. 662 01:00:43,567 --> 01:00:48,038 They would say, "I know how you feel," but they don't. 663 01:00:49,047 --> 01:00:52,084 'Cause no one knows how anyone else feels. 664 01:00:53,047 --> 01:00:55,197 -No... -You happy now? 665 01:00:55,367 --> 01:01:01,602 -Now you too can feel sorry for me. -No. I won't. 666 01:01:01,727 --> 01:01:06,517 I don't know how it feels or anything like that. 667 01:01:06,687 --> 01:01:12,125 And no one needs to know. No one needs to know about me. 668 01:01:12,247 --> 01:01:14,158 Yes, they do. 669 01:01:14,367 --> 01:01:18,804 You're the best, and you owe it to the world to reveal yourself to it. 670 01:01:21,727 --> 01:01:24,685 And right now you're making me never want to go. 671 01:01:45,007 --> 01:01:47,760 -It's looking nice and warm. -No, it's not. 672 01:01:47,927 --> 01:01:49,883 Yes, come on. 673 01:01:50,047 --> 01:01:52,277 -I don't want to. -A little further. 674 01:01:52,447 --> 01:01:56,759 -I've changed my mind. -Kristin. A little bit further out. 675 01:01:56,927 --> 01:01:59,236 It's super disgusting. 676 01:02:02,167 --> 01:02:05,000 -It feels great. -No, it doesn't. 677 01:02:05,167 --> 01:02:09,957 You don't know what great feels like if this feels great to you. 678 01:02:15,287 --> 01:02:17,596 You need to learn, it's now or never. 679 01:02:21,287 --> 01:02:24,438 -Take my hand, and we'll jump in. -You gay or what? 680 01:02:24,607 --> 01:02:28,282 -Wanna become a swimmer? -Yes. But not a lesbian. 681 01:02:28,447 --> 01:02:30,358 Relax. 682 01:02:33,447 --> 01:02:36,359 One, two...jump! 683 01:02:46,367 --> 01:02:47,766 #705: LEARN TO SWIM 684 01:02:55,567 --> 01:02:56,886 That's great. 685 01:03:14,367 --> 01:03:18,645 It's so hard to coordinate arms...and legs. 686 01:03:18,807 --> 01:03:21,526 Come on! You're doing great! 687 01:03:22,487 --> 01:03:24,955 Stretch your legs, you're almost there. 688 01:03:27,807 --> 01:03:29,718 Just a little bit more. 689 01:03:31,127 --> 01:03:34,119 Stop being such a show-off, Neo! 690 01:03:34,247 --> 01:03:38,957 You've probably read about her adventures in her column 691 01:03:39,087 --> 01:03:45,765 about being a young Swedish girl living in New York. 692 01:03:45,927 --> 01:03:49,363 She's now with us live. Hi, Kristin. 693 01:03:49,527 --> 01:03:51,836 -Hi. - So, tell us... 694 01:03:54,367 --> 01:03:58,565 - My, my... Seems busy. -I'm walking among the skyscrapers. 695 01:03:58,727 --> 01:04:02,163 You have to keep your eyes open and take every chance. 696 01:04:02,367 --> 01:04:07,122 Yes, it's a different world. But you seem adjusted to your new life. 697 01:04:07,287 --> 01:04:12,884 Yes, I'm living here with this girl, Andrea. 698 01:04:13,047 --> 01:04:16,084 I don't know what I would have done without her. 699 01:04:16,247 --> 01:04:20,365 So you're not homesick? Not even today, on Midsummer Night's Eve? 700 01:04:20,447 --> 01:04:24,122 What's herring and schnapps compared to Still and Snapple? 701 01:04:24,247 --> 01:04:25,965 Right, maybe not much. 702 01:04:26,087 --> 01:04:31,207 Thank you, Kristin, with us live from New York. Good luck! 703 01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:34,439 Thanks. Happy Midsummer to everyone out there. 704 01:04:34,607 --> 01:04:39,522 I hope they are inspired to do something with their lives. 705 01:04:39,687 --> 01:04:43,157 - You can read her column... -You were so awesome! 706 01:04:43,367 --> 01:04:46,200 You're so good at lying! We have to celebrate. 707 01:04:46,367 --> 01:04:49,279 Someone's having cuddle party. 708 01:04:49,447 --> 01:04:52,644 The herring's served. The guests will be here soon. 709 01:04:52,807 --> 01:04:55,446 -What do you mean? -My Midsummer party. 710 01:04:55,607 --> 01:04:58,565 -You're having a party? -Yes. It's a hat theme. 711 01:04:58,727 --> 01:05:01,639 -Quite a few people are coming. -What about me? 712 01:05:01,807 --> 01:05:06,517 Can't you guys stay up here, if I get you a little wine? 713 01:05:06,687 --> 01:05:09,201 Cool, cool. Coming! 714 01:05:10,527 --> 01:05:13,599 Great... I might as well drop dead right now. 715 01:05:13,767 --> 01:05:17,362 It'll be fine. We're in New York, remember? 716 01:05:32,167 --> 01:05:34,078 What else? 717 01:05:34,247 --> 01:05:37,125 I've been focusing more on hating stuff. 718 01:05:37,287 --> 01:05:42,077 Like kids, swimming...and Linn. 719 01:05:42,247 --> 01:05:45,478 But how did it get like that between you guys? 720 01:05:46,807 --> 01:05:48,718 I don't know. 721 01:05:48,887 --> 01:05:53,517 We've just always competed with each other for friends, guys... 722 01:05:53,687 --> 01:05:56,201 Is it hard for you, or...? 723 01:05:56,367 --> 01:06:01,919 Not really. I just don't think about it. 724 01:06:10,607 --> 01:06:13,838 Don't... Oh my God, you're so cheap. 725 01:06:15,247 --> 01:06:18,364 Just because you've got your own mansion. 726 01:06:18,487 --> 01:06:20,842 I just graduated high school. 727 01:06:21,007 --> 01:06:23,646 No, don't... 728 01:06:25,687 --> 01:06:27,598 All empty. 729 01:06:32,367 --> 01:06:34,927 Hi! How's everything going? 730 01:06:35,087 --> 01:06:37,396 -Fantastically. -Cool, cool. 731 01:06:40,407 --> 01:06:42,796 -Hi... -Hi. 732 01:06:44,767 --> 01:06:46,041 I just saw Linn! 733 01:06:46,207 --> 01:06:48,437 -What's she doing here? -I don't know. 734 01:06:53,167 --> 01:06:55,681 Fuck, all my friends are here. 735 01:06:55,847 --> 01:06:57,758 Don't worry, it's cool. 736 01:06:57,887 --> 01:07:00,640 -What are we gonna do? -Come with me. 737 01:07:34,607 --> 01:07:37,440 -Holy shit... -Come on! 738 01:08:02,447 --> 01:08:05,598 I'm so relieved I'm not at that party. 739 01:08:05,767 --> 01:08:12,479 Being with a bunch of people you don't even like. I'm so sick of it. 740 01:08:16,527 --> 01:08:19,837 -You're so disgustingly innocent. -Cut it out. 741 01:08:20,007 --> 01:08:23,556 -Just because I don't sleep around. -What are you doing? 742 01:08:23,727 --> 01:08:26,036 What? That's something you'd say. 743 01:08:26,167 --> 01:08:28,886 Yes. But don't you become like me. 744 01:08:30,007 --> 01:08:32,999 Like Kristin or like Kristin? 745 01:08:33,967 --> 01:08:36,720 I just wanted people to like me. 746 01:08:36,887 --> 01:08:42,041 But what if Linn's right? What if I don't have what it takes to make it? 747 01:08:45,887 --> 01:08:48,276 Everyone will see right through me. 748 01:08:48,447 --> 01:08:51,519 It's a good thing if people can see through you. 749 01:08:51,687 --> 01:08:54,520 Then they'll see how great you are. 750 01:09:03,367 --> 01:09:05,835 -Fuck, they're coming here! -Sit down! 751 01:09:06,007 --> 01:09:08,157 -They can't see me! -It'll be fine. 752 01:09:08,367 --> 01:09:10,483 No, it won't be! 753 01:09:11,567 --> 01:09:14,684 -Yes, you're with me. -Last one in is a dumb-ass! 754 01:09:17,287 --> 01:09:19,243 -Sit down. -Kristin? 755 01:09:21,607 --> 01:09:24,565 -What the hell's going on? -No, don't! 756 01:09:25,767 --> 01:09:27,917 No! What the hell are you doing? 757 01:09:31,207 --> 01:09:33,402 -She can't swim! -Yes, she can! 758 01:09:33,567 --> 01:09:36,161 Kristin! 759 01:09:38,807 --> 01:09:40,957 -Kristin! -Kristin! 760 01:09:45,007 --> 01:09:46,725 Does anyone have a phone? 761 01:10:36,887 --> 01:10:41,119 -What do you think you're doing? -I thought I'd ride along. 762 01:10:42,087 --> 01:10:46,956 It's relatives only. Don't you think you've done enough? 763 01:10:48,727 --> 01:10:53,118 And you people... You all owe me 500 bones each. 764 01:11:16,727 --> 01:11:19,958 -Hear about Kristin? -She was never in New York. 765 01:11:20,127 --> 01:11:22,721 -You heard? -I know. It's insane. 766 01:11:22,847 --> 01:11:25,566 I don't know what to say. It's insane. 767 01:11:25,687 --> 01:11:28,679 She's like hiding in a house in the woods. Here! 768 01:11:28,847 --> 01:11:32,726 -She's never really been there. -That's such a bitch move. 769 01:11:32,887 --> 01:11:36,163 -What did she live off? -So fucking sad. 770 01:11:36,367 --> 01:11:38,483 -So disgusting. -At that party... 771 01:11:38,647 --> 01:11:44,643 -She just jumped into the water. -She wanted to die. Too embarrassed. 772 01:11:44,807 --> 01:11:46,877 NEW YORK TRIP WAS A HOAX 773 01:11:47,047 --> 01:11:48,958 LINN SPEAKS OUT 774 01:11:49,127 --> 01:11:52,085 She's pretty brave, at least. 775 01:11:54,567 --> 01:11:59,277 -Hi, honey. -Hi... You gave us a real scare. 776 01:11:59,447 --> 01:12:01,722 Have you slept at all? 777 01:12:01,887 --> 01:12:05,277 -It's Rickard. -I think he looks really good. 778 01:12:07,007 --> 01:12:10,079 Daddy is going to make you some chili. 779 01:12:10,247 --> 01:12:15,116 It's looking good, so we're going to send you home tomorrow. 780 01:12:16,207 --> 01:12:18,801 -Bye, Kristin. -Bye. 781 01:12:27,047 --> 01:12:30,005 This is completely outrageous. 782 01:12:30,167 --> 01:12:34,524 A snotty kid gets in over her head, lying to a whole town of people. 783 01:12:34,687 --> 01:12:41,877 It's bigger than Lewinsky, Woods, and King Carl fucking Gustaf combined. 784 01:12:42,047 --> 01:12:46,359 -You realize what this means? -I'm so sorry. I really, really am. 785 01:12:46,527 --> 01:12:52,602 Why are you sorry? Since we outed it, our numbers are through the roof. 786 01:12:52,767 --> 01:12:54,837 Our sales are like a Boeing 7 47. 787 01:12:56,207 --> 01:12:58,880 Everyone wants to read about your failure. 788 01:12:59,047 --> 01:13:01,356 -But... -It's time we found out... 789 01:13:01,527 --> 01:13:05,076 ...who this Kristin really is. 790 01:13:05,247 --> 01:13:09,286 -But... -No buts! What did I say about that? 791 01:13:09,447 --> 01:13:14,237 Here's what you'll do. In your next column you'll come clean about lying. 792 01:13:14,407 --> 01:13:17,877 Then, you go. It'll be great. 793 01:13:18,007 --> 01:13:20,601 -Go where? -To New York, where else? 794 01:13:20,767 --> 01:13:23,679 I've booked your ticket, you're all set. 795 01:13:23,807 --> 01:13:27,595 Write up your column, Kristin. Give us your story. 796 01:13:27,767 --> 01:13:30,804 It's going to be a hit. 797 01:13:47,647 --> 01:13:51,640 Hi, it's Kristin Wester. I'm in New York right now 798 01:13:51,807 --> 01:13:54,162 but you can reach me via email or sms. 799 01:13:54,367 --> 01:13:56,722 Hi, it's me. 800 01:13:56,887 --> 01:13:59,924 Give me a call when you're feeling better, okay? 801 01:14:00,087 --> 01:14:02,840 Bye. 802 01:14:06,127 --> 01:14:09,802 Look at that. Overtaking me right before the traffic light. 803 01:14:09,967 --> 01:14:13,243 You only see Volvo drivers doing that. 804 01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:17,764 So, what now? Are you back together with Arthur? 805 01:14:17,927 --> 01:14:19,838 Dunno. 806 01:14:20,007 --> 01:14:23,158 -What's the matter? -Nothing. 807 01:14:24,367 --> 01:14:28,201 I won't say anything, it's better. 808 01:15:11,687 --> 01:15:15,726 Hi... I've got a little surprise for you. 809 01:15:15,887 --> 01:15:20,278 What surprise? And why are you dressed like Marilyn Monroe? 810 01:15:20,447 --> 01:15:23,245 -Come in. -What is it? 811 01:15:23,407 --> 01:15:29,357 If I tell you, it won't be a surprise. One...two...three... 812 01:15:29,447 --> 01:15:31,642 Surprise! 813 01:15:31,807 --> 01:15:35,925 The money from the bet paid for your homecoming/goodbye party. 814 01:15:36,087 --> 01:15:40,239 -Pretty cool, huh? It's New York. -Hi... 815 01:15:40,407 --> 01:15:42,875 -Nice to see you. -What is it? 816 01:15:43,047 --> 01:15:46,403 -Hi, Kristin... -Hi. 817 01:15:46,567 --> 01:15:49,365 -Thanks. -A Manhattan? 818 01:15:49,527 --> 01:15:51,597 -No. -Relax. Have fun. 819 01:15:51,767 --> 01:15:53,997 -What do you mean? -It's a party. 820 01:15:54,167 --> 01:15:56,920 So party. You could at least enjoy yourself. 821 01:15:57,087 --> 01:16:00,762 -Hi, Kristin. -I don't feel like enjoying myself. 822 01:16:00,927 --> 01:16:04,397 Should your failure be the last thing people remember? 823 01:16:04,567 --> 01:16:07,081 Hi... 824 01:16:08,927 --> 01:16:10,838 Go on, take it. 825 01:16:15,967 --> 01:16:19,118 -Here's to Kristin. -Cheers! 826 01:16:19,287 --> 01:16:22,723 -I don't have a costume. -Yes, you do. 827 01:16:29,887 --> 01:16:33,038 He can be the sweetest guy if he really wants to. 828 01:16:33,207 --> 01:16:38,918 But then he acts completely different, and I'm like, what are you doing? 829 01:16:39,087 --> 01:16:42,762 So then this morning... 830 01:16:54,207 --> 01:16:57,882 -Spider-Man... -It's actually me. 831 01:16:58,047 --> 01:17:01,642 Oh, my God, hi! Wow, how are you? 832 01:17:01,807 --> 01:17:04,765 It all happened so fast with us. 833 01:17:04,927 --> 01:17:09,205 What do you mean, "us"? There was never an "us." 834 01:17:09,367 --> 01:17:13,997 -You're way too good for me. Right? -Yeah, I know... 835 01:17:14,127 --> 01:17:18,120 So Arthur... Throw yourself out among the skyscrapers... 836 01:17:18,287 --> 01:17:23,645 -Don't joke around about this. -Arthur... It is a joke. 837 01:17:37,727 --> 01:17:42,596 -Hey... Are you okay? You sad? -Yeah... 838 01:17:42,767 --> 01:17:44,997 This was always going to happen. 839 01:17:45,167 --> 01:17:48,000 Why are you so logical about everything? 840 01:17:48,167 --> 01:17:53,116 This is all your fault. You had to throw your stupid party. 841 01:17:53,287 --> 01:17:55,357 -You'll get over it. -No. 842 01:17:55,487 --> 01:17:58,285 Maybe it'll pass, but I'll never get over it. 843 01:18:46,887 --> 01:18:49,447 -You seen Kristin? -The Ninja Turtle. 844 01:18:49,607 --> 01:18:51,996 -Huh? -She's over there. 845 01:19:03,687 --> 01:19:05,962 -Hi. -Hi, are you here? 846 01:19:06,127 --> 01:19:08,595 I heard you were having a goodbye party. 847 01:19:08,767 --> 01:19:12,680 Yeah, I got a new ticket, so I had to do something. 848 01:19:12,847 --> 01:19:14,883 -Come on! -I'm coming. 849 01:19:15,047 --> 01:19:18,676 -Where have you been lately? -I just haven't had time. 850 01:19:18,847 --> 01:19:22,635 Here. Have a drink. 851 01:19:22,767 --> 01:19:25,440 -What are you doing? -What do you mean? 852 01:19:25,607 --> 01:19:28,485 -I don't recognize you. -It's a costume party. 853 01:19:28,607 --> 01:19:31,167 It's kind of the point. 854 01:19:31,367 --> 01:19:34,916 -You're an idiot. -No... I'm a Ninja Turtle. 855 01:19:35,087 --> 01:19:39,239 -I thought you were better than this. -Yeah, well... Okay. 856 01:19:39,407 --> 01:19:43,400 A drink? Can't you just enjoy yourself? 857 01:19:43,567 --> 01:19:46,161 -What do you mean? -You're young. 858 01:19:46,367 --> 01:19:49,564 You don't have to feel so goddamned much. 859 01:19:49,687 --> 01:19:53,441 -Let go a little... -You have no idea what I'm feeling. 860 01:19:53,607 --> 01:19:57,077 No. Because I don't know you, and you don't know me. 861 01:19:57,247 --> 01:20:02,605 No one knows how anyone else feels. Isn't that what you said? Cheers. 862 01:20:06,567 --> 01:20:10,003 Sure. It's good to see you live a little. 863 01:20:10,167 --> 01:20:12,920 Since you haven't lived all summer, right? 864 01:21:16,167 --> 01:21:18,522 -Hi! -Hi. What are you supposed to be? 865 01:21:18,687 --> 01:21:21,121 -Kristin. -Nice. 866 01:21:21,287 --> 01:21:24,836 -Thanks. You okay? -Yes. 867 01:21:25,007 --> 01:21:28,124 Come on, you look so sad. You're Spider-Man. 868 01:21:28,287 --> 01:21:31,040 You can't look all sad if you're Spider-Man. 869 01:21:32,007 --> 01:21:35,238 -You're supposed to save the world. -Yeah, okay. 870 01:21:37,447 --> 01:21:41,406 -Come on. -Yeah, sure... Or, I mean... 871 01:21:58,527 --> 01:22:02,805 -Can't we go back to my place? -No, it has to be here and now. 872 01:22:08,647 --> 01:22:10,763 -Got a condom? -In my jacket. 873 01:22:10,927 --> 01:22:12,838 Fuck it. 874 01:22:15,367 --> 01:22:19,758 Andrea? Andrea! 875 01:22:19,927 --> 01:22:21,963 Hang on. Wasn't that Kristin? 876 01:22:22,127 --> 01:22:25,164 -You want to do it, or what? -Fuck it. 877 01:22:31,687 --> 01:22:33,598 Andrea! 878 01:22:48,607 --> 01:22:50,677 -No... -Yes. 879 01:22:50,847 --> 01:22:52,997 -Stop it. -What, you don't want to? 880 01:22:53,167 --> 01:22:55,397 Of course I don't fucking want to! 881 01:22:58,407 --> 01:23:01,365 Andrea! Andrea, wait up! 882 01:23:08,727 --> 01:23:11,685 Andrea! 883 01:23:11,847 --> 01:23:13,803 Andrea, wait up, please! 884 01:23:13,967 --> 01:23:16,003 Andrea! 885 01:23:16,967 --> 01:23:19,003 What do you want? 886 01:23:20,567 --> 01:23:22,717 I want lots of things. 887 01:23:22,847 --> 01:23:26,556 What do you want from me? What do you want me to do? 888 01:23:27,727 --> 01:23:29,638 -I don't know. -Great, then. 889 01:23:29,807 --> 01:23:32,037 -Andrea... -What? 890 01:23:34,687 --> 01:23:37,884 -I'm sorry. -For what? 891 01:23:38,047 --> 01:23:42,245 -For being me. -But this isn't you. 892 01:23:43,367 --> 01:23:45,483 Maybe you just don't know me. 893 01:23:45,647 --> 01:23:47,683 You were you, in New York. 894 01:23:47,847 --> 01:23:50,645 Stop calling it New York. 895 01:23:50,807 --> 01:23:53,401 So it didn't mean anything? 896 01:24:14,367 --> 01:24:17,359 Andrea, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. 897 01:24:20,367 --> 01:24:22,244 Andrea! 898 01:24:45,407 --> 01:24:49,286 I don't know who I am. But I know who I'm not. 899 01:24:49,447 --> 01:24:51,881 I'm not this. 900 01:24:52,967 --> 01:24:55,527 I don't want to play this game anymore. 901 01:24:55,687 --> 01:25:00,363 But how do you it, then? If you just want to be yourself? 902 01:25:00,487 --> 01:25:04,241 I'm not sure about anything anymore, but I know one thing. 903 01:25:04,407 --> 01:25:09,083 The person you think I am, that's not me. 904 01:25:09,247 --> 01:25:14,446 No one knows me, except for you. You're my best friend. 905 01:25:14,607 --> 01:25:17,838 Because when I'm with you, you make me like myself. 906 01:25:17,967 --> 01:25:19,878 I'm not doing this anymore. 907 01:25:20,047 --> 01:25:22,607 I'm not going to listen to everyone else. 908 01:25:22,727 --> 01:25:26,436 I'm not going to take on any more responsibility. I can't. 909 01:25:26,567 --> 01:25:29,877 I'm too young. There are so many things I don't know. 910 01:25:30,047 --> 01:25:32,163 So many things I haven't felt. 911 01:25:32,367 --> 01:25:35,598 So many things I want to do... That I should do. 912 01:25:35,767 --> 01:25:40,966 Lots of mistakes. I should make more mistakes. 913 01:25:41,087 --> 01:25:44,557 There was no Central Park, no yellow taxi cabs. 914 01:25:44,727 --> 01:25:47,844 And the skyscrapers were just ugly pine trees. 915 01:25:48,007 --> 01:25:53,206 But everything I wrote from there was real. 916 01:25:53,367 --> 01:25:57,360 You and me, we were New York. And now I'm left alone. 917 01:25:59,127 --> 01:26:02,597 I'm starting high school in the fall. 918 01:26:02,767 --> 01:26:06,555 Or taking an evening class, or whatever... 919 01:26:06,727 --> 01:26:09,844 I have to do something. 920 01:26:10,007 --> 01:26:14,000 Let's go home. What do you say? 921 01:26:14,967 --> 01:26:17,356 I am doing it. 922 01:26:17,447 --> 01:26:21,486 And you have to listen to me, because you're all I've got now. 923 01:26:23,247 --> 01:26:26,364 Yeah... Come here. 924 01:26:36,447 --> 01:26:38,517 It's going to be all right. 925 01:27:28,087 --> 01:27:32,365 You're sitting there, thinking you've understood it all. Right? 926 01:27:32,487 --> 01:27:36,082 As if you knew me. But you don't. 927 01:27:36,207 --> 01:27:39,882 Because no one - no one - knows how anyone else feels. 928 01:27:40,007 --> 01:27:42,396 We can never know. 929 01:27:42,567 --> 01:27:46,719 But we can show that we care, and I didn't. 930 01:27:46,847 --> 01:27:51,921 It's irrelevant that I never went to New York. The column wasn't the lie. 931 01:27:52,087 --> 01:27:55,363 It's everything before it. And now I've lied to you. 932 01:27:55,447 --> 01:27:57,881 You, who were everything but all that. 933 01:28:15,207 --> 01:28:20,964 I guess it wouldn't be completely impossible to do, maybe. 934 01:28:54,207 --> 01:28:57,040 -I don't want to see you. -Wait, please... 935 01:28:58,247 --> 01:29:00,920 Don't close the door. 936 01:29:01,087 --> 01:29:05,683 -Can't you just leave? -I won't say anything. 937 01:29:05,847 --> 01:29:08,964 I just want you to open this present. 938 01:29:51,807 --> 01:29:53,718 I love you. 939 01:30:18,247 --> 01:30:20,283 When did you measure it? 940 01:30:20,407 --> 01:30:22,716 When I was bored once. 941 01:30:25,687 --> 01:30:27,996 This doesn't change anything. 942 01:30:28,967 --> 01:30:31,242 I know. 943 01:30:31,407 --> 01:30:33,762 But it's nice. 944 01:30:35,847 --> 01:30:39,283 -Here, take it. It's yours. -But I... 945 01:30:39,447 --> 01:30:42,837 No buts. I don't need it anymore. 946 01:30:43,927 --> 01:30:46,600 It's all in there. 947 01:30:50,807 --> 01:30:55,005 -I want to stay. -No, you don't. 948 01:30:55,167 --> 01:30:59,922 Yes, I do. I don't want to go to New York. 949 01:31:01,047 --> 01:31:04,039 It feels so pointless now. 950 01:31:05,127 --> 01:31:08,244 It seems like you haven't thought this through. 951 01:31:08,367 --> 01:31:12,155 I haven't. But I've felt it through. 952 01:31:13,287 --> 01:31:16,962 -That is so pretentious. -Shut up... 953 01:31:18,767 --> 01:31:23,363 Hey... You really have to go. 954 01:31:23,487 --> 01:31:27,924 -You've wanted this since forever. -I know, but... 955 01:31:28,087 --> 01:31:31,284 -No buts. -Oh, no? 956 01:31:31,407 --> 01:31:34,843 We both know you'll regret it if you don't go. 957 01:31:35,007 --> 01:31:38,283 Why don't we finish watching that movie? 958 01:31:38,447 --> 01:31:40,358 Yeah. 959 01:32:45,087 --> 01:32:46,998 Nysäter, please. 960 01:32:56,287 --> 01:32:59,916 Did you have a pleasant journey? 961 01:33:03,767 --> 01:33:06,076 Very. 962 01:33:15,247 --> 01:33:20,275 I have a list. A book with a thousand things that I want to do. 963 01:33:20,447 --> 01:33:23,200 But none of that matters anymore. 964 01:33:23,367 --> 01:33:25,801 Because there's two sides to everything. 965 01:33:25,967 --> 01:33:29,437 What's visible on the outside, and what's inside. 966 01:33:29,567 --> 01:33:32,035 If you just listen. 967 01:33:32,207 --> 01:33:34,402 I hate myself... 968 01:33:34,567 --> 01:33:36,478 ...and I love myself. 969 01:33:36,647 --> 01:33:40,481 Subtitling by Mario Bernengo TC:subtitling 78787

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.