Original subtitles

HEY THERE, EVERYBODY, IT'S A LOONEY-FUL DAY

TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN THE BABY LOONEY TUNES WAY

THERE'S LOTS TO DO AT GRANNY'S HOUSE

GAMES TO PLAY AND BALLS TO BOUNCE

LET'S JUMP AND SLIDE AND HOLLER

HOORAY!

SYLVESTER, BUGS, AND DAFFY

TAZ AND LOLA, TOO

TWEETY'S SUCH A SWEETIE

NOW ALL WE NEED IS YOU

HEY THERE, EVERYBODY, IT'S A LOONEY-FUL DAY

TO PLAY THE BABY LOONEY TUNES WAY

[HUMMING]

WHERE'S SOME GOOD OLD FUN

WHEN YOU NEED IT?

BUILDING BLOCKS?!

BORING!

DIRTY SOCK?

HAS POSSIBILITIES,

BUT NO.

TOMMY THE TOY TERROR--

SURE TO ALARM YOUR FRIENDS.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

PERFECT!

[BLBLBLBL]

NOW FOR SOME REAL FUN.

SWEET MELISSA, ALLOW ME.

WELL, THANKS, DAFFY.

[BLBLBLBL]

UGH! GROSS!

MELISSA CUT THE CHEESE

MELISSA CUT THE CHEESE

MELISSA CUT THE CHEESE

AAH! I DID NOT!

THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

YOU'RE RIGHT. IT ISN'T FUNNY.

IT'S HYSTERICAL!

[LAUGHING]

[BLBLBLBL]

[LAUGHING]

[HUMMING]

HI, DAFFY,

OLD FRIEND, OLD PAL.

WHAT?

I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU DID, AND,

WELL, IT WAS FUNNY.

IT WAS?

HYSTERICAL!

AND TO SAY I'M SORRY FOR GETTING SO MAD,

I BROUGHT YOU THIS NICE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER

TO GO WITH YOUR JAM.

REALLY? WELL, THANKS.

PEANUT BUTTER. HA!

WHAT KIND OF DUM-DUM TO YOU THINK THIS DUCK IS?

WHEN I OPEN IT, PAPER SNAKES WILL FLY OUT.

OH, NO.

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER.

SEE?

HMM.

IT'S GOT A PICTURE OF A PEANUT ON IT.

MUST BE PEANUT BUTTER.

OHH!

AAH!

UNH!

[LAUGHING]

HMM!

FUNNY.

Daffy: NO...

HYSTERICAL! HYSTERICAL!

[LAUGHING]

HUH!

THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.

I GOT A MILLION OF 'EM.

HOW ABOUT WE PULL A JOKE ON SOMEBODY...

TOGETHER?

YEAH!

Melissa: OH, BOY!

TWEETY AND PETUNIA SURE ARE BRAVE.

YOU COULDN'T GET ME INTO THAT TUB.

ME, EITHER.

NOT WITH THOSE BATHTUB SHARKS AROUND.

BATHTUB SHARKS?!

THERE'S NO SUCH THINGS...

RIGHT?

I DON'T THINK SO.

THERE'S NOTHING A BATHTUB SHARK LIKES BETTER

THAN TO HIDE IN THOSE BUBBLES.

THEN THEY JUMP OUT AND GET YOU!

AAH! AAH!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING] [LAUGHING]

FRIENDLY FREDDY!

OOH, HE'S SO SCARY!

OH, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

YOU ARE A PAIR OF MEANIES!

YOU SHOULD BE VERY, VERY ASHAMED OR YOURSELVES.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WE'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

Both: PINKY PROMISE.

HUH?

HIYA, TAZ, OLD PAL.

HERE.

IT'S A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR YOU.

UM, NOT MY BIRTHDAY.

WE KNOW, AND WE FELT SO BAD FOR YOU NOT HAVING

A BIRTHDAY TODAY AND ALL

THAT WE WANTED YOU TO HAVE THIS.

[TAZ YELLING]

[DAFFY AND MELISSA LAUGHING]

[WAILING]

WHAT'S THE MATTER, TAZ?

[SOBS] JELLY BEANS HIT TAZ.

THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

AAH! AAH!

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT ISN'T FUNNY.

Both: IT'S HYSTERICAL!

[LAUGHING]

[HUMMING]

HOW COULD YOU, MELISSA?!

YOU MADE TAZ CRY!

OOH! YOU ARE SUCH A STINKER!

YOU MADE LOLA FALL ON HER DUFF.

YOU GIVE STINKERS A BAD NAME!

[GASPS] YOU HAVE INSULTED ME.

YES! WHAT WILL YOU DO ABOUT IT?

I WILL CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL.

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT.

OOH!

WHY, YOU HAVE COVERED MY FRIEND LOLA

WITH ICKY, STICKY JAM.

TAKE THIS!

[DAFFY AND MELISSA LAUGHING]

PTOO!

Melissa: LET'S SEE.

WE GOT TWEETY, PETUNIA,

SYLVESTER...

AND TAZ.

WELL, THAT WAS A GIMME.

DON'T FORGET LOLA.

[SIGHS] OUR MASTERPIECE.

SO, WHO'S NEXT?

DO WE DARE?

YEAH!

THE BIG CHEESE, THE HEAD HONCHO...

THE LEADER OF THE PACK,

THE MOUNT EVEREST HIMSELF...

Both: BUGS BUNNY!

SEE?

THEY'VE BEEN PLAYING JOKES ON US ALL DAY.

SOMEONE'S GOT TO STOP THEM, BUT HOW?

YEAH. HOW COME THEY THINK THEIR JOKES ARE FUNNY,

BUT WE THINK THEY'RE MEAN?

TWEETY, THAT'S IT!

OKAY, HERE'S WHAT WE'LL DO.

[WHISPERING]

HOW ABOUT WE HIT BUGS

WITH A GIANT BANANA CREAM PIE?

BRILLIANT!

EXCEPT... WHERE WILL WE GET THAT MANY BANANAS?

YEAH.

HEY! I GOT AN IDEA. WHAT IF WE, UH...

PARDON ME. EXCUSE ME.

UH, PUT CORN FLAKES IN HIS BED?

YEAH!

EXCUSE US. PARDON US.

NAH. I ATE THEM THIS MORNING.

COMING THROUGH!

HEY, WHAT'S THE DEAL?

CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE TRYING TO WORK HERE?

OH. WE'RE SORRY.

YOUR JOKES ARE SO FABULOUSLY FUNNY,

WE THOUGHT WE'D PLAY ONE OF OUR OWN.

HUH? HUH?

COURSE, OUR JOKES ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO YOURS.

WELL, EVERYONE HAS TO START SOMEWHERE.

HEY, MAYBE YOU COULD GIVE US SOME POINTERS.

SURE! SURE!

Daffy: IMPRESSIVE!

FOR BEGINNERS, THAT IS.

UM, HOW DOES IT WORK?

FIRST WE WAIT UNTIL BUGS COMES TO RIDE HIS TRIKE,

AND THEN...

SURPRISE! THE SEAT'S COVERED WITH GLUE,

SO HE'S STUCK!

WISH WE'D THOUGHT OF THAT.

YEAH. HOW DOES HE GET AWAY?

THAT'S THE BEST PART.

HE DOESN'T.

PHEW! YOU GUYS PLAY FOR KEEPS.

[LAUGHING WICKEDLY]

THAT'S NOT ALL.

BEHOLD THE TUNNEL OF TERROR!

HE WILL SEE A TRILLION TERRIBLE MONSTERS.

[LAUGHING]

ISN'T IT FUNNY?

UH, YEAH. HA HA.

UH, FUNNY.

[LAUGHING]

HERE IS THE BEST PART.

HE LANDS IN A BUNCH OF CHEWED BUBBLE GUM...

THAT'S BEEN SITTING IN THE SUN ALL DAY...

TILL IT'S OOEY-GOOEY.

HE'LL NEVER GET UNSTUCK!

Both: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT ISN'T.

All: IT'S HYSTERICAL!

[ALL LAUGHING]

THAT'S MY CUE.

WAIT A MINUTE. HEY, BUGS!

BUGS, NO! NO!

YOU GOT TO STOP! STOP!

HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!

YEAH! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?

YOU CAN'T DO THIS!

OH, MY GOODNESS. WHY NOT?

BECAUSE IT ISN'T FUNNY!

IT'S MEAN!

OH, REALLY?

YES! YES!

GOSH. YOU MEAN, WHAT SEEMS FUNNY TO US

MIGHT BE MEAN TO SOMEBODY ELSE?

YES! YES!

SO DOES THAT MEAN WE SHOULDN'T PLAY JOKES ON EACH OTHER?

YES! YES!

OKAY, THEN.

NO MORE OF THAT KIND OF FUNNY STUFF.

PROMISE?

PROMISE! PROMISE!

[ALL SIGH]

OF COURSE, THERE ARE OTHER KINDS OF FUNNY STUFF.

KNOCK, KNOCK.

UM, WHO IS THERE?

[ALL GROAN]

BABY ELMER HAD A FRIEND

A BABY LOONEY TUNE

THE FASTEST FRIEND THERE'S EVER BEEN

THE FASTEST LOONEY TUNE

WITH A ROAD RUNNER HERE AND A ROAD RUNNER THERE

HERE A ROAD, THERE A RUNNER

EVERYWHERE A ROAD RUNNER

BABY ELMER HAD A FRIEND

A BABY LOONEY TUNE

THE SILLIEST FRIEND THERE'S EVER BEEN

THE SILLIEST LOONEY TUNE

WITH A DAFFY HERE AND A DAFFY THERE

HERE A DAFFY, THERE A DAFFY

EVERYWHERE A BABY DAFFY

BABY ELMER HAD A FRIEND

A BABY LOONEY TUNE

BABY ELMER HAD A FRIEND

A BABY LOONEY TUNE

THE TRICKIEST FRIEND THERE'S EVER BEEN

THE TRICKIEST LOONEY TUNE

WITH A BUGS BUNNY HERE AND A BUGS BUNNY THERE

HERE A BUGS, THERE A BUNNY

EVERYWHERE A BUGS BUNNY

BABY ELMER HAD A FRIEND

A BABY LOONEY TUNE

GREETINGS, GOOD KNIGHT.

[CLANK]

GOODNIGHT?

IT'S NOT EVEN LUNCHTIME YET.

NO, NO, NO. I MEANT,

YOU ARE A K-NIGHT

WHO IS GOOD.

SHEESH! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST K-SAY SO?

OH, BROTHER!

BEHOLD!

WHAT YONDER RABBIT DOTH APPROACH?

'TIS I, KING BUGS... THE FIRST.

WAIT A MINUTE! WHO MADE YOU KING?

EH, THE OLD KING?

[HUMMING]

RUMMY DUM DUN, COLORING IS FUN

NOT BAD,

BUT I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET HER EYES RIGHT.

[BEEP BEEP]

[CLICK]

RARRGH!

[LASER FIRE]

OOH! GET IT!

GET IT!

I WILL!

WATCH OUT!

IT'S ABOUT TO LAUNCH

ITS PEPPERONI ATTACK!

WATCH OUT!

I KNOW!

RARRGH!

Melissa: STRING CHEESE!

GET IT! GET IT! GET IT!

GET IT! GET IT!

[CLICK CLICK]

RARRRGH!

STOP IT!

OOPS.

RARRRGH!

OHH!

OH, IT GOT YOU.

YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO ME.

THANKS. I'LL REMEMBER THAT NEXT TIME.

[GIGGLES] LOOK AT TAZ!

[CHOMP]

[CHOMP]

THAT WOULD BE GROSS IF HE ACTUALLY CAUGHT ONE.

AND SCARY.

SCARY?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN.

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT IF TASMANIAN DEVILS EAT BUTTERFLIES,

THEY'LL TURN INTO SCARY SPOTTED CATERPILLARS.

LITTLE WORMIES?

NO, SILLY.

BIG WORMIES, LIKE THIS.

RARRRGH! RARRRGH! RARRRGH!

AAH!

RARRRGH! RARRRGH! RARRRGH!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MELISSA?

NOTHING. I WAS JUST SHOWING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN

IF TAZ ATE A BUTTERFLY.

HE'D TURN INTO A SCARY SPOTTED CATERPILLAR.

THAT'S CRAZY.

IT'S TRUE!

I--I--I HEARD IT FROM...GRANNY.

YEAH, HER. SHE WAS TALKING ON THE PHONE TO HER FRIEND,

AND SHE WAS SAYING ALL OF THIS STUFF ABOUT TAZ.

IT'S A SECRET, 'CAUSE NOBODY'S SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT IT,

BUT I DO, BECAUSE I HEARD IT, AND THAT'S WHY I KNOW IT

AND...STUFF.

WHAT KIND OF STUFF, MELISSA?

WELL...

THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN.

FOR INSTANCE, DID YOU KNOW

THAT IF YOU SPRINKLE PEPPER ON TAZ'S TAIL,

HE'LL GROW AS BIG AS A ROOM?

A ROOM?!

OHH!

Lola: REALLY?

[ALL GASP]

THAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS STORY I'VE EVER HEARD.

IT'S TRUE!

BACK WHERE TAZ COMES FROM,

IF THE TAZZES THERE ACCIDENTALLY GET PEPPERED,

THEY GET SO BIG, THEY USE THEM

TO PUT THE STARS ON TOP OF CHRISTMAS TREES.

All: OOH!

THAT MELISSA'S SOMETHING ELSE.

SCARY CATERPILLARS, GIANT TAZZES...

BUT WHAT IF IT IS TRUE?

SHE DID SAY SHE HEARD IT FROM GRANNY,

AND GRANNY NEVER FIBS.

HMM.

THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR...

BUGS BUNNY, ACE REPORTER!

PEPPER ON TAIL, MONSTER CATERPILLARS...

HMM.

SO THAT'S WHY TAZ

CAN NEVER SEE HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR.

NO WONDER HIS HAIR IS ALWAYS MESSY.

"MIRROR."

TELL US MORE. TELL US MORE!

[GIGGLING] UM...OH, YEAH.

IF TAZ STEPS ON A CRACK,

IT WILL BREAK GRANNY'S BACK.

Kids: OH, NO!

YEAH! GRANNY WOULDN'T BE ABLE

TO STAND UP STRAIGHT EVER AGAIN.

POOR GRANNY!

YES, YOU IN THE BACK.

ISN'T IT TRUE THAT ALL OF THIS STUFF

YOU'RE SAYING ABOUT TAZ

IS JUST A BUNCH OF MADE-UP FIBS?

NO, IT'S NOT TRUE.

THESE ARE NOT MADE-UP FIBS.

THEY'RE REAL ONES.

NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE.

DOES TAZ EVER--

MAY I ASK A FOLLOW-UP QUESTION?

HUH. WHATEVER.

ISN'T IT ALSO TRUE THAT THIS SO-CALLED GRANNY PHONE CALL

YOU CLAIM TO HAVE OVERHEARD

IN FACT NEVER HAPPENED,

THAT IT'S JUST ANOTHER FIB?

NO, IT'S NOT "JUST ANOTHER FIB."

IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF THEM ALL!

ANYTHING ELSE?

NOPE. THAT WILL DO FOR NOW.

I'VE GOT PLENTY TO WORK WITH.

PLANT THE FLOWERS IN THE SPRING

WATCH THEM GROW AND DO THEIR THING

WHEN SUMMER FINALLY COMES AROUND

MY FLOWERS COVER ALL THE GROUND

[SNIFFING]

[HONK]

OW!

HUH!

[BABBLING]

HUH?

IF ONLY HE COULD DO THAT TO THE WEEDS.

COME WITH ME, BIG GUY.

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

HUH?

HERE. EAT THIS.

HMM!

SCARY CATERPILLAR?

I DON'T THINK SO, MELISSA.

"TAZ CANNOT SEE HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR."

HEY!

[CRACK]

HUH?

HECK, THAT'S WRONG, TOO!

TAZ CAN SEE A LOT OF HIMSELF.

HMM.

"STEP ON A CRACK, BREAK GRANNY'S BACK."

HUH?

GO AHEAD, TAZ. STEP ON THE SIDEWALK CRACK.

UH-UH!

DON'T WORRY, TAZ.

YOU WON'T HURT GRANNY.

THAT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT MELISSA MADE UP.

Granny: OW!

OH, NO!

OUCH. OUCH. OHH. OUCH.

GRANNY, I'M SORRY! WE DIDN'T THINK

THAT TAZ STEPPING ON A CRACK

WOULD REALLY BREAK YOUR BACK.

IT'S JUST THAT MELISSA WAS TELLING

ALL THESE REALLY BIG FIBS ABOUT TAZ,

AND I WAS TRYING TO PROVE THAT THEY WEREN'T TRUE, AND--

HOLD ON, NOW.

THE WHAT WOULD BREAK MY WHAT?

OH, GOODNESS. MY BACK'S NOT BROKEN.

I JUST GOT STUNG BY A BEE. SEE?

IT HAPPENS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WHEN I'M GARDENING.

HURTS LIKE THE DICKENS.

NOW, WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT MELISSA TELLING REALLY BIG FIBS?

AND, UM...

EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT TAZ

WASN'T TRUE AT ALL,

'CAUSE I MADE IT UP JUST FOR FUN,

ESPECIALLY THE PART ABOUT HEARING GRANNY TALKING ON THE PHONE.

I'M SORRY.

VERY GOOD, MELISSA.

NOW, REMEMBER, CHILDREN,

IT'S NOT NICE TO MAKE UP STORIES ABOUT PEOPLE,

NO MATTER HOW SILLY THE STORIES ARE.

AW, I KNEW THOSE WERE FIBS ALL ALONG.

I WAS JUST GOING ALONG WITH IT FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT VALUE.

Kids: UH-HUH.

NOW, WHO WOULD LIKE SOME STRUDEL?

Kids: YES, PLEASE!

[SHOUTING HAPPILY]

WELL, TAZ, MY WORK HERE IS FINISHED.

LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER JOB WELL DONE FOR...

BUGS BUNNY, ACE REPORTER!

I JUST LOVE HAVING MY OWN THEME SONG.

WAIT A MINUTE. I FORGOT ONE.

"PEPPER ON THE TAIL MAKES TAZ A GIANT."

AH-CHOO!

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST KEEP THAT ONE TO OURSELVES?

UH-HUH!

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