Original subtitles

We're back.

Let's go.

Nuts.

Give me the Black Beauty.

Alvin. Alvin. Alvin. Alvin, take it easy out there. You got to share the spotlight.

You got it, Dave.

Dave? I am serious, Alvin. This is a charity benefit.

It's not all about you.

Sorry, Dave, I can't hear you over the thousands of fans screaming my name.

I am back, Paris.

Yeah. A little help, boys.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

Alvin, will you please get down from there? I can't hear you.

-Alvin, I am not kidding. -What?

Dave, look out.

Alvin.

Dave.

Dave.

Dave?

This should help with the pain. I want to talk to my boys.

I just gave you a sedative that will take effect in about one minute, so...

Well, let them in quickly.

Dave. Dave, you're alive. Hey, guys. It was an accident, I swear.

-Are you okay? -I am really sorry, Dave.

I will be fine. I am just going to be stuck here for a while.

And until I get out, I have made arrangements for my Aunt Jackie to come stay with you.

-Who's Aunt Jackie? -The one who sends us

those metal buckets of yummy popcorn for Christmas.

Oh, Popcorn Jackie.

You don't have much time, monsieur Seville.

Listen, I want you guys to go home and live a normal childhood.

I have even made arrangements for you to go to school.

-School? -Yes, school.

Simon, I am putting you in charge.

-You are? -I am counting on you.

Dave, wait a minute. Why is he in charge?

He's counting on me.

Dave, please don't die.

He's just sleeping. He's had a sedative.

A sedative.

Excuse me. I am here to escort the Chipmunks home.

We're not leaving Dave. I am putting my paw down on this one.

You come here.

I got it. I will fix it. Nope, made it worse.

-Please. Please go. -Oh, this must be it.

The more stress you put on monsieur Seville,

the longer it will take him to recover.

You are too slow for me, nurse.

-No. Don't... -You will never take me.

I am not going anywhere without...

I hope for your sake he stays asleep for the entire flight.

Maybe we should give him another shot, just to be sure.

Any ideas on how we find Aunt Jackie?

Got it. Follow me.

Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me. Coming through.

Look. Aunt Jackie.

-Oh, yeah. Aunt Jackie. -Popcorn Jackie.

-Oh, hello, dears. -Cool wheelchair.

-Yay, we found you. -Popcorn. Where's Simon and Theodore's?

There's plenty for everyone. But let's have a hug first.

Get over here, you old teddy bear.

I am not really much of a hugger.

Boys, I want you to meet someone. This is my grandson Toby.

-Toby? -Hi. I am Theodore.

-Toby. -What? What happened? What?

-The boys. -Hey.

-Hi. -Hey. How are you?

-I am Toby. Nice to meet you. -Toby's living with me

till he figures out what he wants to do with his life.

So far, that means going "pyu, pyu-pyu-pyu-pyu"

-with his thumbs all day. -Well, for the record,

going "pyu-pyu-pyu-pyu-pyu" with my thumbs right now

is keeping me in first place. So that's important.

-Toby, get the bags. -What bags?

-The luggage. Get the luggage. -The... The... Right.

Yeah, let me get those. Sorry.

-Toby? -Hit the brakes. Hit the brakes.

Abandon wheelchair.

Toby.

Toby.

I am fine. Don't worry.

I am so sorry, Aunt Jackie. I am so sorry. Is she going to be okay?

Don't worry about me. I will be home in no time.

-In you go. -I wouldn't be so sure.

What? It was an accident. I swear.

Been there, done that. Several times.

I guess you will be taking care of us now.

I will take "Frightening Thoughts" for $500, please, Alex.

Not a problem. I can totally do this. I took care of my cat,

until he ran away. Well, "ran away" is kind of strong wording.

I think he just wanted his space.

I still see him around the neighborhood, you know.

He, like, hisses and claws at me,

but I think that's just his way of saying we're still tight. You know.

You guys have nothing to worry about, seriously,

because I am not going to be like Dave. You know, Dave's gone.

Gone?

Not gone. Not gone, guys. He's... He's not dead. He's very much alive.

He's completely coming back. I am just going to be in his room,

keeping his bed warm. I am going to be doing my thing,

you will be doing your thing. You're not even going to know I am there.

We're supposed to know you're there.

That's... That's the whole idea.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, you will know that I am there.

I am just saying, I am not going to be, like, "I know everything"

and, "You do this, and you do that," like my dad.

All right. Let's do this.

Oh, boy.

Theodore, we're going to be just fine.

The important thing is we're all still alive.

Maybe my get well card will help Dave get home faster.

It needs just a touch more glitter.

Yep, that should do it. Who's hungry?

-Me. Me. Me. -Let's eat.

Simon?

It's a food ghost town in here. Alvin?

Holla. The Cheese Balls are in the hizzouse.

# Well you can tell by the way I use my walk #

# I am a Cheese Balls man # # No time to talk #

# Whether you're a brother # # Or whether you're a mother #

# You got to love Cheese Balls # # Got to love Cheese Balls #

# Get in my belly # # Cheese Balls, get in there, ah, ah, ah #

# Staying alive #

# Staying alive #

# Staying alive #

Bingo. Dinner, she's a-served.

-Yay. All right. -Hey. What're you doing in here?

-Cheese Ball? -Dude, let's go. Come on.

Tom-bo, hey, hey, give me a second, real quick.

Alvin, I really, really need to focus right now

because I am one knockout away from a heavyweight title.

Can we play as well?

You know, I don't want to hurt your feelings,

but I also don't want to see anybody get hurt,

and there are going to be fists of fury a-flying.

We can play Monopoly. We play Monopoly with Dave all the time.

Do you? That sounds fun, and we should do that sometime,

but right now I got to get back to floating like a butterfly

and stinging like a bee. So...

Hey, Tom-bo, you still there, buddy?

Who needs Toby, Theodore? You got us.

Yeah, who needs Toby? Boys, right this way.

I am going to puke.

Do you know what Dave would say if he were here right now?

-Alvin. -Alvin.

Not bad. But I think it needs to come more from the belly.

-Alvin. -Alvin.

Phone. Get it together.

Be cool.

-Hello? -Yes?

-Boys, it's me. -Dave.

Dave? As in, "Dave"?

Well, I guess since you answered the phone,

-you haven't burned down the house yet. -Have a little faith, Dave.

Yeah. Mayday.

-What was that? -Don't stress him out.

That was Aunt Jackie. Yeah.

She's making us a zesty 5-course meal.

Really? Well, can I talk to her?

-She's practicing her pole dancing. -Pole dancing?

What happened to making dinner? Guys, what's going on?

-Got to go, Dave. -Alvin, I am not kidding.

-Feel better. -Alvin.

Yep. Nobody does that better than him.

Toby? Toby, wake up.

Sorry.

No, that's... That's okay. What is it?

I had a nightmare.

The nightmares. I hate the nightmares. What was it?

I dreamt we didn't have a family anymore.

Theodore. Theodore, that couldn't happen.

No, you guys are tight. Nothing could ever separate you.

Unless, like, an eagle swooped down from the sky and was like, caw-caw.

-What? -And grabbed you and...

Which... Which couldn't happen, ever. So why would you...

Why would you ever think that that would ever happen?

You know, because the Eagles are in Philadelphia.

No. No.

Sweet dreams.

-Toby. Toby, make it stop. -What are you doing?

There's something wrong with the clock. It won't shut up. I can't sleep.

That's the point. It's an alarm clock.

It helps you wake up early in the morning.

-Why would anyone want to wake up early? -Well, for school.

-You got to be there by 8:00. -In the morning?

Look, I don't like getting up this early any more than you do.

But we are in this together, Alvin.

Sooner you get to school, sooner I get to come home and get back to sleep.

You mean, you don't stay with us at school?

No, no... No, I have done my time, thank you very much.

But school is fun, right?

Fun? Well, I guess maybe it's fun-ish.

Hey, it's my cat. Hey, remember I was telling you? Hey.

Hey. Hey, kitty. It's me. Remember?

I treated you good.

Okay, here we go.

Enjoy your first day at school. See you around 3:00-ish.

Okay.

We got this. This will be a walk in the park.

A chaotic and frightening walk in the park.

Hi, I am Theodore. Hi, I am Theodore. Hi, I am Theodore.

-Watch out. -Look out.

Hi, I am...

Guys? Guys?

Oh, boy.

-Eagle. -Go, Eagles.

Eagle.

That wasn't very fun-ish.

You must be our new students. I am Dr. Rubin, the principal.

And we're the Chipmunks.

Yes, well, that would explain the fur and the bushy tails.

Follow me, gentlemen.

Gentlemen? Oh, us. Right.

There was a minute left and we were down by 2. And I am like,

"Coach, I don't care if my leg's broken. Put me in. I can win this."

-I never get tired of this story. -So I hobble out, barely able to stand.

Did I mention my leg was broken?

-Miss Ortega. -Yes?

-Good luck. -Thanks.

-Hello, guys. Welcome to homeroom. -Good to be here.

-I hope. -So this is a classroom.

I love the smell of zit cream in the morning.

Hello, ladies.

-Is that the Chipmunks? -The Chipmunks.

We love you, Alvin.

Hi, I am Theodore. Hi, I am Theodore.

Yes, he's Theodore, in case you missed it. And I am Simon.

The name's Seville. Alvin Seville.

Somebody's going to have to knock those guys down to size.

Well, that should be pretty easy. I mean, they're only 8 inches tall.

I had 15 cars.

I mean, that's, like, 5 more cars than anybody really needs.

I had 7 maids. I had courtside seats to the Lakers.

Even my maids had courtside seats to the Lakers.

And now look at me. Look at me.

-Alvin and the Chipmunks. -I lost everything.

Except for my dignity. They can't take that away from me.

And it's all because of them.

Hey. Breakfast.

Now I run around hoping and praying

that I can find other animals that can sing or dance. I mean...

Wait a second. You don't sing, do you?

Hey. Hey. That's my muffin.

Give me my muffin, you dirty rat.

I will get you, Chipmunks.

Girls, we got to get out of here.

- I can't see. - Not on my nose.

- That's my tail. Sorry. - Move your butt. Okay.

Who's squishing me?

We made it. Jett Records.

Oh, my gosh. That's him. Ian Hawke. Mr. Hawke?

That voice. I can't get it out of my head.

Hello? Mr. Hawke.

That's not in my head. That's really happening.

-What do you want? -We want to introduce ourselves.

That's right. I am Brittany, and this is my sister Eleanor.

Hello, sir. Such a pleasure to meet you. And I am their sister Jeanette.

Although I feel more like an Olivia, or sometimes a... Anyway, we're the Chipettes.

And, well, we would just be so honored to have you represent us.

You made Alvin and the Chipmunks stars. We want to be stars, too.

-Yeah. -And hang out with the Chipmunks.

Okay, now, listen, before we get all girlie and giggly about this,

just tell me one thing. You can sing, right?

No, no, wait. Hang on. Not here.

Why don't we take this meeting upstairs in my penthouse office?

Sure. This is so exciting. We're really on our way now.

Oh, my gosh. Guys, can you believe it? My first penthouse office.

-Wow. -Oh, boy.

Oh, my. The Hollywood sign.

Thought you might like the view. So, ladies, tell me a little something about yourselves.

Well, we grew up in a small town, population 300, and.....

Yeah? Really? That's fascinating. Great.

All right, impress me.

1, 2, 3.

Girls, girls, girls, girls.

Guess who just became the number one Chipette fan in the whole dang world?

Ian Hawke, that's who. Yay. Nice. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

So when can we meet the Chipmunks?

That's an excellent question. And the excellent answer is,

I don't really represent Alvin and the Chipmunks anymore.

-Oh, no. -What happened?

Classic tale. Sweet and innocent when I met them, and they had nothing.

And then I work my butt off to make them rock stars and....

....they changed.

Turned on me like bad cheese.

-No. -That's terrible.

I know. I mean, I treated Alvin like he was my own son, you know?

And then he just goes and spits on me.

Literally. He filled his chipmunk cheeks with saliva and just had at it.

And don't even get me started about Simon.

But not Theodore, right?

It's the cuddly ones you have to watch out for.

But what are we talking about them for?

Come on. They're over. Tired. Novelty act. Chipmunks who can sing.

But girl chipmunks who can sing?

Fasten your seatbelts.

So, I am on Jay-Z's yacht, right? And I say, "Jay, where's Beyonce?"

And he says, "She's holding a plate full of Cheese Balls. Turn around."

And guess what? She was.

P.S., Dave left me in charge. Staying up till 10:00 every night. Oh, yeah.

Hey, girls, look what I can do.

You are Theodore-able. Thank you. You're so cute.

I am so sorry. It's cool. No harm done. Not yet.

Girls? Please? Private conference.

Thank you.

Listen up, rock stars.

If you talk to those girls again, you're dead.

If you look at those girls again, you're dead.

If you even think about those girls...

Are you thinking about them? Well, I am now.

That's it. You're dead.

Run. Xander. Come on. Back here, you dirty rats. Hang ten, bros.

Scatter.

Go, go. That way. Over there.

Ryan.

Hey, slowpokes. Catch me if you can.

-You're dead, fur ball. -Not.

-It's wedgie time. -My butt.

Oh, boy. Eagle.

-Eagle. Eagle. -Get them.

-Bully. Bully. -This way. This way.

Gotcha.

-Guys, wait, wait. Time out. -It's swirlie time.

Come on, come on, guys. This is so 1980s.

Please. Please.

Oh, man. Come on.

-That's a good look for you. -Thank you.

Can't swim. Help.

Grab on, Simon.

Thanks.

You okay?

Well, considering that you just saved me from drowning in a toilet,

I am pretty good.

I will be right back.

Alvin. Alvin. We're not going to solve anything with violence.

-It's the fatty-ratty. -Cut it out.

This rat has serious junk in the trunk.

-Yeah, little fatty. -Stop it.

He jiggles when I poke him.

Mommy.

Simon, does this make my butt look smaller?

Theodore, your butt looks fine. Those guys are just jerks.

Gentlemen.

You threatened to climb inside of him and build a nest.

That was out of line.

I am not even sure that's physically possible.

I should suspend all 3 of you.

Please do.

Instead, I have a better idea.

Due to budget cutbacks,

we are in jeopardy of losing our beloved music program.

-That's awful. -I know.

But there is one small ray of hope.

Every year the district sponsors a music competition.

And the winner's school receives $25,000.

If we win, we can save our program.

And you want us to perform? Because I didn't think you were a fan.

Why don't you sleep on it?

Wait a minute. What is that? That's us.

-Wait. -I look skinny.

Promise me that you won't say anything.

A principal has a certain image to uphold,

and if the faculty ever found out about this, I could...

I just cannot believe that you're actually sitting in my office.

I have all of your CDs. I even went to see you last year in Denver.

That's where I got this. It was my birthday.

And I was like, "The Chipmunks."

So what do you say? Will you represent our school?

Honestly, suspension still sounds pretty good to me.

Come on, Alvin. What do you say? 1 for all and 3 for 1.

Well put, Theodore. Very well put.

Count us in.

Go, Eagles.

Eagles? Where?

The penthouse level.

Isn't that that Chihuahua? You know, from the movie?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it... I mean, yeah, of course it is.

A lot of big names live here.

-I must have his autograph. -Hey, hey, Brittany.

You want to be a star? Act like a star.

All right? You don't get autographs, you give them.

Right.

Hey, look, over there. There're a couple of the Jonas Brothers.

-Where? -I don't see them.

Here we are. Okay.

Let's scoot in to my...

What? Did I... Darn it. Darn it to heck.

-What's wrong? -Girls, I apologize,

but I seem to have left my keys back in my office.

What if one of you were to shoot through that mail slot

and open it up from the inside, huh?

I will do it.

I am stuck.

All right, I got you. I got you.

Not so hard.

Might want to lay off the nuts.

All right, how about you, Glasses? You're in better shape. Want to go?

I am not that great at things like this.

I got it.

Yes.

-Impressive. -Nice.

-Gee willikers. Stripes. -Snazzy.

-Circles. -This is the best tree house ever.

-A red piano. -Brit.

Is this a dream? Somebody pinch me.

This is way better than a tree.

I just adore a penthouse view.

Nice one, Hawke.

-Yeah? You like it? -Do I?

-I live here. -It's so beautiful.

Yeah.

Last time we visited Meerkat Manor,

a rival group called the Commandos

was making large inroads into the Whiskers' territory.

Toby. I thought Alvin was messy.

This is literally disgusting. I feel like I am living in a dumpster.

Simon, it's Meerkat Manor. Watch with me.

You know, you're right. You're right. I just need to relax.

Maybe that will ease my nerves a little.

What is this? What...

You have got to be joking. A taco? In a blanket? Toby.

Ladies and gentlemen, going for his turkey, it's the Tobester.

Come on, baby.

Yes.

Yes.

No problem. Watch and learn, my friends.

Well, it looks like it's time to play my second favorite game.

Hide the Broken TV from Dave. You want to play?

-No. -Go easy on him, taco boy.

This day's been bad enough already.

I think I see what's going on.

You guys have been having some problems at school?

No. Not really. Unless you consider

getting your head dumped into a public toilet a problem.

Swirlies are the worst.

At least that's what I have heard.

Because there's no way that I could possibly know that on a personal level.

Toby, what was school like for you?

Toby? Toby?

-Toby? Toby. -What?

What was school like for me? In a word, awesome.

But, you know, that's because I was, like, extremely popular.

Is that why you still live with your grandma?

And refer to yourself as "the Tobester"?

And go "pyu-pyu-pyu" all day?

Bedtime.

Alvin?

Alvin, wake up and turn off the alarm.

Alvin. Alvin, I am not kidding. I am not kidding, buddy. Turn it off.

Guys. Guys...

Boys, this isn't funny.

Hello. Humane Society? Yes. I need help.

A man is after us. He wants to take us to a terrible place.

-School. -Out.

-Have a heart, huh? -Have a heart?

Dave wants you to go to school, so you're going.

Yeah, well, don't worry about picking us up at 3:00, Toby.

We will get a ride. In a hearse.

Guys, guys, come on. Look, trust me.

The second day is never as bad as the first.

Glasses. Glasses. You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?

You're out, man.

Right in the pancreas.

-Call the nurse. -Out. Out. You're out.

Come on, Alvin. Remember your 5 D's.

Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.

-Move. -You're next, fur ball.

You talking to me? You talking to me?

I am the only one here, so you must be talking to me.

-Yeah. Got him. -Did you see that?

Unbelievable. He caught it. You're out, man.

And the fat lady, she's a-singing.

-Dude's got hands. -I think they're paws, actually.

Whatever. We can definitely use him on the team.

Hey, fur ball. How would you like a spot on the football team?

Football?

I got to say, you're good. I am going to let you hang out with us at lunch.

-That is, if you want to be on the team. -Interesting proposition.

-Alvin? -Let me get back to you on that.

This is a one-time offer. Don't take too long to think it over.

Right. Like I would ditch my brothers just to become the first chipmunk ever

to play on an actual varsity football team.

Fat chance.

The stadium is pandemonium. It's 4th and goal. It's up. It's up.

And he catches it. The crowd goes crazy.

Hey.

-Me? -Alvin. Alvin. Alvin.

Alvin, I think the super-cool jock table is paging you.

Why would I go over there? Like I really need to worry about being popular.

Hello? Talking chipmunk? Huh? World-famous rock star?

Guy with his own plush doll? Guys, I am on pajamas.

Not to toot my own horn, but...

Come on. It's laughable.

-Just go, Alvin. -Really? You mean it?

-Yeah. -Thanks. I will be right back.

-What up, dudes? -What's up, little man?

-Welcome to the cool table. -Yeah. Bring it.

-Yeah. -Pound the paw.

I want it. I got it. I got it. I...

Don't got it.

-I think he's cute. -Me, too.

Toss. And he's up.

-Thank you. -Hey, Alvin.

Call me.

Bernie, I am telling you, the Chipmunks are old news.

I got the next big thing. Singing female chipmunks.

Hello? Bernie? Hello?

God. What part of "singing female chipmunks" don't these people...

Girls, we're going to school.

And he's up and he scores.

Hey. What up, S?

Don't hate on the high-five.

Yeah. High-five.

Look, Alvin, I know you guys have been busy

with your sporting endeavors and whatnot,

but I can really use your help at home.

No can do.

Ry-dawg is going to teach me how to get pretty girls to do my homework.

Alvin, you promised Theodore we'd hang out.

We are watching Meerkat Manor tonight. No pretty girls.

-Dude, I can't swing it today, bro. -That's what you say every day, Alvin.

Need I remind you it's your day to do the laundry?

You better listen to your daddy, Alvin. You don't want to get grounded.

Are you going to pick that up?

Are you going to make me?

I am just going to elegantly show you how it's done.

Simon...

Off the glass.

And you call yourself a jock.

My brother, he's a real jokester. Always kidding.

Anyhoo, see you guys in class.

-Hey, that's my pudding. -It's my pudding.

Why are you trying to embarrass me in front of my friends?

Are you kidding me? They're the ones you should be embarrassed by.

-Good luck with the show, guys. -Front row seats. Can't wait.

So? What song are we going to sing?

No pressure, but the whole school is counting on us.

Relax. It's like Ryan says, who's going to beat singing chipmunks?

That Simon is dreamy.

I think Theodore was looking at me.

Yeah, I know. But, guys, remember what Ian said?

We can't trust them.

-Wow. -What happened?

I never thought I'd say this, but pink is my new favorite color.

Her glasses were quite fetching.

She's like a beautiful green gumdrop.

Okay, well, if you guys want to do this, you have to pay attention.

Maybe this is a good time for us to take a break.

Good call. Take 5.

-She's right. We need to focus, fellas. -Right.

This is for my screensaver.

Cheese Balls.

Hey, you guys. Hey. You guys ready to go?

Because I got a lot of important stuff to do at home.

You must be their guardian.

That I... That I am. Yes, I am.

Hi, how are you? How are you, Dr. Rubin?

I know that because I went to school here a few years ago.

I don't know if you remember me. Toby Seville? Probably not.

Toby?

No way. Hi. Hey, no braces.

-Your teeth look great. -You... I... Thank you. I appreciate...

I did. I did. I did get my braces off because they were just...

Okay.

That... You know what, I know a guy who actually...

Who works on drum heads. So that's very good.

I will be in the car, guys. So...

Somebody's in love.

That aside, we're going to replace everything. Chipmunk's honor.

Yes, the old false-modesty suck-up routine.

-Ian Hawke? -I thought I smelled a rat.

May I help you, Mr. Hawke?

Well, I was wondering if I could help you.

I just heard about your musical competition,

and I just skedaddled down here as quick as I could to volunteer my girls.

Well, that's very thoughtful of you, but I have already made up my mind.

Well, perhaps this will change your mind. Girls?

They're with Ian?

Curtains.

1, 2... 1, 2...

Wow. They're good.

Good? They're astounding.

My good people of West Eastman,

you have just witnessed the debut of the Chipettes.

-Thank you. -Thank you. Thank you.

So?

They were splendid, but as I said before, I have made my decision.

-Brit? -No.

I see. You have made your decision.

I don't mean to speak out of school, Doctor,

but in the true spirit of democracy,

which our great, wonderful country was founded upon,

I say let the people vote. Let them choose.

One person, one vote. I say, let us vote.

Let us vote. Let us vote.

Let us vote. Let us vote.

Please, don't be a fascist granny. Let freedom ring, Doctor.

-Let us vote. -Let us vote.

-Let us vote. -Let us vote.

You make a persuasive case, Mr. Hawke.

All right, here's what I am going to do.

This Friday, each group will perform one song in front of the student body.

Yes. All right. Whoever gets the most applause will represent the school.

What?

- Thank you. Yes. We did it. - In your face.

It is on like Donkey Kong.

The meerkats huddle together at the end of a traumatic day

to reaffirm their family bond.

The Whiskers are going to have to rely on each other more than ever.

Guys, I am so happy that Ms. Ortega can rehearse with us every day after school.

- Every day? But Ryan and I have... - Alvin, stop right there, okay?

We're a team. We need you.

Would you relax? We're not going to lose. We will talk about this in the morning.

Not much to talk about. I will see you at rehearsal.

-Stop hogging. -I am not hogging.

You might as well be rooting out truffles in the French countryside,

because you are, in fact, hogging.

-I am not. -Are so.

-Not. Am not. Not. Not. -So. So. So. So.

Forget it. I think I will sleep in my own bed tonight.

-Ditto for me. -I am so glad I am not a meerkat.

-Really? Why is that? -Because as cold as I am,

-I would never huddle with you. -Good.

-You hear me? I won't huddle. -Fine.

Toby?

Can I sleep with you?

-What? -Dave lets me.

My brothers are fighting.

Well... I am... Okay.

Oh, man. Dutch oven. Not the Dutch oven.

Anything but the Dutch oven.

Must find fresh air before it's too late.

It's too late. It burns.

Mama, it burns.

Let's see. What else am I in the mood for?

How about a side order of friendly advice? Courtesy of me.

No, thanks.

Grapes, please.

-Excuse me. -Yeah, well,

I just wanted to warn you about Ian.

What? You should be grateful to Ian.

He did everything for you, Alvin, and you broke his heart.

Really? How do I put this gently?

He's the devil. He doesn't have a heart.

And one of the things he did for us was put us in a cage.

Alvin, he would never do that.

Yeah, because you were there. I forgot.

-Brittany, you'd better watch out. -I don't need advice from you.

-But... -But nothing, Alvin.

Ian's taking us straight to the top.

Got it. Straight to the top.

-Ironic. -Yeah, funny.

We are so going to destroy those Chipmunks.

-I don't want to destroy them. -Me, neither.

I just want to hang out with them.

All right, all right, all right. Hold... All right, look.

You know, if you feel that way,

maybe we should just withdraw from the contest.

-What? -Then I will put you in a FedEx package

and mail you back to whatever tree you came from. Sound good?

-No. -Okay, then.

Take it from the top. Let's go.

All right. Wait. Stop.

Short one in the green dress.

-What's your name again? -Eleanor.

Yeah, look, I am losing you there, you know.

-Have you always been that short? -I... I guess.

Well, you got to work on that. Okay?

All right, let me try something here.

Brittany. Here, come up here.

No, you two stay back. Little further.

Oh, yeah. Now, that I like.

And it's not just because Brittany's

more of a mega, ultra superstar than you guys.

Good, good. Okay, you know what? Let's get a little more separation.

Brittany, stay there. Let's get a little more separation from you guys.

Yeah, let's give her some room. Give her some room, guys. Back.

Okay. All right, watch me now. 1, 2, 3.

Now, watch me. Watch me now.

Hello.

Toby?

What are you doing at the house? Where's Aunt Jackie?

Dave. Hey. Hey, Dave, what's happening?

Aunt Jackie is in the hospital.

I am a little worried. Who's watching the boys?

I am.

So, Dave, how is Paris?

-Wait, are the boys behaving? -Absolutely. They have been just peachy.

Toby, what's going on?

Nothing. Nothing. No, don't even... Don't even worry about it.

You know, I know that you're not supposed to be stressed out,

so I am going to go right now. But it's all good here.

Come home soon. Bye.

Toby?

Toby.

Nurse. Nurse. Get me out of here.

Help.

I don't mean to interrupt your game, but I saw you stand up to Ryan

-when he littered. That took guts. -Really?

And that's the type of guy that we're looking for.

Jeremy Smith, student body president.

-How do you do? I am... -International recording star

-and litter monitor Simon Seville. -Litter monitor?

Litter monitor. It's a new position that we have created

to help raise awareness of a pressing problem in our society.

I agree 99% plus 1. You do the math.

Well, Simon, I know this is a lot to ask,

but we're looking for a take-charge guy

to take charge of this very rewarding position.

What do you say?

Excuse me, everybody. Quick announcement.

I am Simon. I am the litter monitor.

Put your trash in the garbage can. Peace out.

Hello, ladies. You probably weren't aware that you dropped a wrapper on the ground,

so we're just going to call this one a warning.

Carry on.

-What up, dudes? -What up, AL?

Hey, everybody. Check it out.

The newest member of the football team. Suiting up for our first away game.

-Ry, don't mess with me. -I talked to coach. You're in.

Dude. That's great. Awesome.

So check it out, A-man. We're watching the new litter monitor.

I wasn't aware the school even had a litter monitor.

We don't. But don't tell him that.

-Are you going to pick that up? -No.

Well, I am sorry to hear that.

I guess I am going to have to give you a citation.

-Oh, no. I got a citation for littering. -Oh, no.

You want to play that game, do you? Well, guess what?

I can play that game all day long.

-Simon. -It's a joke, dude.

Litter is no joking matter.

No. You're the joke. We're messing with you.

There's no such thing as a litter monitor.

-What? -Good one, huh?

You knew about this, Alvin?

Does the word "brother" mean anything to you?

Yes. Of course.

Yeah, well, he has some new brothers now that he's on the football team.

You still haven't picked up that litter.

-You want me to get rid of litter? -Yeah.

-Let's start with you. -Hey, let... Let go. Let go.

No.

Downtown.

I will catch up with you guys in a second.

Simon. Simon.

Simon.

Okay, I am a total jerk, I admit it.

So are we cool now?

Okay. Alvin, I am going to put this behind us for Theodore's sake.

I know. That's why I am giving you the Alvin guarantee

that I will be at that sing-off Friday night.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why wouldn't you be there?

Because I have a...

-What? -A...

-You have a what? -A football game.

There. I said it. A football game.

Simon? Alvin? Is everything all right?

Theodore. Yeah, we're fine.

Just a little dumpster wrestling.

Crazy in here.

Right.

Don't worry, Theo. Everything is going to be fine.

Alvin, do not miss that sing-off.

Don't worry, Simon. I will be there.

I can do both.

Hey, guys, thanks so much for helping out today.

Toys for Tots is a really cool organization. So, everybody's getting cool points today.

-What's going on with Theodore? -I have no idea.

Hey, Eleanor, why don't you see if Theodore needs some help?

Well, okay.

They don't look very comfortable.

My shoes? They're not.

But Ian says that I need to work on being taller.

Well, I think you look great just the way you are.

You do?

Hi, you have reached Dave Seville. Please leave a message.

Hi. Toby? This is Julie Ortega. We talked yesterday.

Well, we kind of, sort of did.

Anyway, the reason I am calling is that I am worried about Theodore.

He's been acting a little down lately.

I hope you're going to the sing-off Friday.

You know, with his dad gone, Theodore needs all the support he can get.

So, I will see you there. I hope we get a chance to talk. Bye.

Okay, folks. Time to get behind your undefeated Warriors.

The visiting Eagles are down by 5 with about 30 seconds left in the game.

-Time is running out for the Eagles. -Go, Eagles.

Quarterback Ryan Edwards really needs to make a move here

or this game is over.

I know they're going to put me in. They got to put me in.

Time out. Time out.

Time out, Eagles. 4th and 15 with 9 seconds remaining in the game.

Substitution, Eagles.

All right, boys. It's time for the big A.

I am going to crush them. I am bringing the pain.

-The Alvinator is in the house. -Are you sure about this?

4th and 10, Xan. We need to go with the secret weapon.

Trips right, Alpha left, motion on me. Time to make history, boys.

-Ready. -Break.

Defense.

-This ain't no dance, baby. -I am taking you down, Jennifer.

You're the one going down, rat face.

I am going to crack you like an acorn and eat you for dinner,

with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Is he talking about my father?

- "A-42." - "A-42."

Hut.

Incoming.

-Yeah. -Touchdown, Eagles.

Oh, yeah. Come on. That's what I am talking about.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

And I love how awesome I am.

Final score, Eagles 15, Warriors 14.

What do you think about that, suckers? Oh, yeah.

In your faces. That's what I am talking about.

You're like the Randy Moss of chipmunks.

Yeah. Give me an "A". Give me an "L".

Give me a "V". Give me an "I". Give me an "N".

-What does that spell? Awesome. -Way to go, Alvin.

-I am the king of the world. -Party with the MVP.

-Oh, yeah. -Party with Alvin.

-You got that right. -Everybody to the beach house.

Let's do it.

Alvin. Alvin.

Alvin. Alvin.

Chipmunks. Chipmunks.

Chipettes. Chipettes.

So, look, guys, I just want you to know that I am here for you.

There's plenty of time. I am going to go find Alvin,

everything's going to work out.

Thanks, Toby.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Rubin.

Thank you, students. Thank you.

Welcome to our exciting sing-off competition

between the Chipmunks and the Chipettes.

Now, remember, students, there are no winners or losers.

Yeah, remind me to tell the Chipmunks that when we blow them off the stage. The group that we choose

today will give our school a chance to win $25,000

to save our music department.

So, without further ado, I give you the Chipettes.

This is it, girls. Can you believe it?

Brittany, your time to shine, baby. Go out there and knock them dead.

Yes, sir. I can do it.

You two, I just want to let you know not to get in Brittany's way.

Okay.

Like what you see? Call Ian Hawke. 310-555-5309.

Don't worry, Simon. Alvin will walk through that door any minute now.

Alvin.

I am back.

-Girls, that's for us. -Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well done, ladies. And now,

let's hear it for a group that will rock you like a hurricane.

At least that's what many of you students have told me.

Here they are, the Chipmunks.

Hey, you know they say there's no "I" in the word "team," and they're right.

But you know what there is an "I" in? "Alvin."

Sucks to be you. Girls.

Sadly, he's correct.

-Did you find him? -Guys.

Sorry, I searched the whole perimeter.

And I don't know why, but the team's not back yet.

Well, what should we do?

I would...

I would ask someone who's not me.

I know what we should do.

Chipmunks. Chipmunks.

Chipmunks. Chipmunks.

Hi, everyone.

Our brother Alvin couldn't be here today.

The thing is, we have never performed without Alvin. And we're not starting now.

You can't have only 2 little pigs. You can't have only 2 musketeers. So,

so, you know you can't have only 2 Chipmunks.

Thank you.

I will take you home.

Hear that, girls? That is the sound of success.

I realize how devastated you Chipmunk fans must be.

So, I guess that means that the Chipettes

-will be representing West Eastman... -Come on, girls. Let's take a victory lap.

-will be representing West Eastman... -Come on, girls. Let's take a victory lap.

Hey, come on, guys. Let's go.

-Brit, we have to. -Let's go.

Yeah. Let them know.

Thank you. Thanks.

Life is good.

Especially when you're not a loser.

Hey, guys. I am here.

Guys?

Great.

They're gone, Alvin.

They're never going to forgive me.

You know, Alvin, Ian was right.

You don't care about anyone but yourself.

And by the way, I never wanted to win this way.

Simon? Theodore?

Simon, are you awake?

Theo?

Theo.

Theodore? Theodore?

Theodore, I don't blame you for being mad...

I ran away from home.

Don't look for me at the zoo, because I am not there.

Oh, no, Theodore.

Hello? Meerkat family?

Oh, brother.

Is anyone home?

My name is Theodore. I'd like to be in your family.

Maybe they're hiding.

Don't be afraid.

You are not a meerkat.

Toby, you take the lions, the tigers and the bears.

Simon and I will take the butterfly room.

Nice eagle.

-Theo. -Don't move, Theodore.

No problem there.

Hang in there. Hang in there, little guy.

We're going to get you out of there.

Okay, okay, we need a plan. We need a carefully executed plan.

Or you could just run in there like a maniac.

-Theo, watch out. -Hi, I am Theodore.

Hey, birdie. Over here. Are you hungry?

Because this "A" stands for "appetizer".

Let's all just relax and we will talk this out. Okay?

Look, I get why you want Theodore. I do.

But, I am sorry, I can't let that happen.

He's my brother. Not that he'd know that,

because I have been such a big jerk lately.

If anyone deserves to be eaten, it's me.

Not literally.

I got you, Alvin.

Move it.

-Theo. -Help.

Guys, it's a wedge-tail eagle.

Their only mortal enemy is the pygmy elephant.

Luckily, I speak a little pachyderm.

I think it's working.

Or not.

Guys, that was huge.

He's right.

So, are we back to 1 for all and 3 for 1?

Come on, Simon. Hug it out.

You know I am sorry, Si.

Si? Don't make me have to kiss you.

Because I will do it. I don't care.

Here come the lips. Make-out train is leaving the station.

-Think I will take that hug. -Guys.

Interested? Call Ian Hawke. 310-555-5309.

Deloris, get me that Ian Hawke on the phone.

-There you are... -Hi.

my sweet little moneymakers.

Do you remember when I told you that I would make you all big stars?

-Yeah. -Well,

guess who's opening up for Britney Spears at the Staples Center tonight?

-Yeah. -Pinch me. Am I dreaming? Oh, my gosh.

Wait, tonight? We will miss the school contest.

That is correct. You will miss the school contest.

You're so smart. I can never get anything past you.

It was never about that stupid school contest.

It was always about making Brittany a star.

That's what you wanted, right?

-Well, yeah. -Well, tonight's your big chance.

It's all about you, Brittany.

What about Jeanette and Eleanor?

Yeah, well, they can sing backup. I got them some stuff, too.

Hey.

But we're her sisters.

And the 3 of us sing together or not at all.

Okay, fine. All I really need is the B-girl.

Ian, I won't do it without them.

Okay. Fine, fine. Let's move on to plan B.

-Okay. Who likes barbecue? -Barbecue?

Because I know this awesome little barbecue restaurant in the Valley

that makes the best roasted chipmunk.

Real tasty.

Unless, of course, you want to sing.

Welcome to West Eastman, and thank you for supporting music in our schools.

Now, remember, the group you pick tonight

will win $25,000 for their school.

Now, we have got a lot of acts, and we have to turn the heat off at 9:30,

so without any further ado, representing Orange Grove,

put your hands together for Li'l Rosero.

So, we meet again.

What? You want a piece of this, eagle?

-Ian Hawke? -I will take that.

I didn't realize I pocket-dialed 1-800-LOWLIFE.

-Alvin? -Brittany?

Yeah, could you guys fill in for us?

We're not going to be able to perform tonight.

What about the music department? The whole school is counting on you.

I know. I know. I should have listened to you about Ian.

-Don't tell me. -Yep. He locked us in a cage.

What? This is the biggest you have?

I had my assistant call and ask for the biggest limo.

This is not the biggest limo you have.

I will go break the news to Dr. Rubin.

-Brittany? -Alvin, don't move.

You got it.

Brittany, I am coming to get you. Simon, tell Jeanette how to pick the lock.

Roger that.

Oh, man. I need to get to the girls, fast.

I know how.

Jeanette, focus. The 3rd number is notoriously the hardest to crack.

I am assuming it's a prime number, but we can't assume...

Simon. The first 2 numbers were ones. I got to go with one.

-It opened. -All right, girls.

Ian's coming. Put the phone back. Hurry.

-Get ready to be fabulous. -We're ready.

Yeah, you better be.

Because tonight's performance is going to put me back on top.

Next up, please welcome Charice.

Driver-man, take me to the arena. VIP entrance.

How about a little moon roof action? Moon roofs are go.

Rooves? Moon roof. Roofs? Rooves?

Champagne. Don't mind if I do.

You know why I don't mind if I do?

Because tonight, we have got to toast to a very special someone

named me.

They said I couldn't do it. They said I'd never bounce back.

Guess what? Time to kiss my sweet...

Oh, yeah.

A toast to the ladies who're going to make the world forget about the Chip...

-What... -See you.

No. No, no, no. No.

What are you doing? Alvin.

Hi, Ian. Good to see you. You never write.

-No. Brittany... No. -Come on, girls.

I signed a contract.

-Jump, Jeanette. -Wait.

-I am not really good at... -I got you.

I am dead if you don't perform.

-Punch it, Alvin. -You got it.

-No. Don't. -Hey, Ian.

In the words of the Donald, "You're fired."

Alvin.

Hey. Hey. Hey, guys. Any sign of Alvin yet? Huh?

No. No Alvin, and no Chipettes.

Just Dr. Rubin and, you know, the entire school counting on us.

Well... Yeah, you know, don't worry.

Everything will work out-ish.

-Faster, Alvin. -Don't worry.

I am going to get a little help from my friend Digger.

-Roger that, Alvin. -Look out.

Feels like I am back at the race track.

-Hey. Careful. -Keep going. What are you doing?

Yeah.

Wait till I tell everybody back home I saved Alvin Seville.

I guess I owe you an apology about Ian.

Stick with me, Brit. I will never steer you wrong.

Oh, yeah. I will never doubt you again.

I got to say, he is definitely persistent.

-We have got to lose him. -Hang on.

I have got a plan. Jump on the count of 3.

3.

That's it.

I am not really good with heights.

Just hang on tight, Jeanette.

Bring my girls right to me.

-We need the remote. -Guys, I know what to do.

It's hats off to Ian.

The remote.

I can't reach it.

I am going for it. Grab my ankles.

I got it.

I got it.

-Way to go, Jen. -Nice work, Jeanette.

Good going, Jen. Hey, Ian, you were wrong. I don't need these.

-My bad. -Adios, Ian.

And now for our final act of the night.

Now, listen, we have had a last-second change to the line-up,

but we don't think you're going to be too disappointed.

Representing West Eastman, it's the Chipmunks.

We may have to go out there, Theodore.

Chipmunks. Chipmunks.

Chipmunks. Chipmunks.

Chipmunks.

Well, if there are no Chipmunks, we're going to have to move on. So now...

I don't want to be booed again.

I am sorry. We're going to have to move on.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. I...

I am not a Chipmunk, as you can see.

Play some music, you loser.

-Play some music. -Yeah.

-More music. -Play some music.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay, I got a song. I got a song, I got a song.

# Ever since I met you #

# I wanted to be your guy #

# But as you have probably noticed I am #

# Pathologically shy and #

# Standing on this stage right now # # I think I'd rather die #

# So I am just going to start by saying #

Hi.

Hi.

Now, that was huge.

Thank you. Thank you. No, really. Thank you.

-What the... -The Chipettes are in the building.

-It's the Chipettes. -Alvin.

-Theo. -Hello, West Eastman.

I am putting her down. Hang on.

-Alvin. -Double high-five, brother.

High-five.

Ladies and gentlemen, representing West Eastman,

it is my great pleasure...

This is such an honor.

For you or for us?

-For us. -For us.

Jinx. Double-jinx. Triple-jinx. Quadruple-jinx. Infinity-jinx. Guys. We get it.

Jinx. Double-jinx. Triple-jinx. Quadruple-jinx. Infinity-jinx. Guys. We get it.

Jinx. Double-jinx. Triple-jinx. Quadruple-jinx. Infinity-jinx. Guys. We get it.

-Huddle up, gang. -Okay, here's the plan.

I give you the Chipettes and the Chipmunks.

-Dave. -Dave.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Hey, everybody. It's clear that we have a winner of the $25,000.

And it's West Eastman High. West Eastman High.

-Guys, we did it. -Yeah.

-Wow. -Can you believe it?

A little something for the music department.

All right.

Right back at you, Dr. Rubes.

Oh, yeah.

-Chipettes. Chipettes. -Chipettes. Chipettes.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Staples Center is proud to welcome the Chipettes.

Hi, everyone. I am Jeanette. And I am Eleanor.

And I am Brittany.

And we're the Chipettes.

-What? -What is that?

1, 2, 3.

That's not the Chipettes.

-Come on, lady. -I know, I know. All right, I am sorry.

I am sorry. I am sorry. I know, I am sorry.

I am going.

-Dave. You're dancing. -You're moving good, Dave.

-Yeah. -Welcome home.

So, did you miss us?

-Of course I missed you. You're my boys. -Cool.

And, Dave, just think how much you'd miss us if there were 6 of us.

Alvin, what did you say?

Well, the Chipettes needed a place to crash, right?

So, I said that you said

they could stay with us for as long as they needed to.

-Alvin. -Okay. This one's for Dave.

Everybody, shake what your mamma gave you.

Look at you. All ready for bed.

Looks like the Chipettes are a good influence.

-Thanks, Dave. -Thanks, Dave.

Thanks, Dave.

Okay, guys. Now lights out. Good night, everybody.

-Good night, Jeanette. -Good night, Simon.

Good night, Dave. Good night, Alvin.

-Alvin? -I am not tired.

Sorry, but you have got school tomorrow.

Not tired.

Alvin, come on. It's time for bed.

-Not tired. -Alvin?

Still not tired. More awake. Tired.

-Just kidding. Much more awake. -Alvin, that's it.

-Don't make me come over there. -Okay.

Boy. I suddenly got really, really tired.

Night, Dave.

Alvin.

Good start, gentlemen. Only 10 more rows of bleachers to go. Let's do it.

All right, guys. All right. All right.

All right, I am out. I am out. Is this necessary?

Come on. Is that necessary? Is that...

At least let me go back and get my purse.