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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,800 CONTAINS NUDITY, SIMULATED SEX, AND POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,760 IF DEPICTIONS OF THE HUMAN BODY OR INTIMACY MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:06,920 YOU SHOULD STOP WATCHING. 4 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,640 Hello, stranger. 5 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,080 Spring has finally arrived in town. 6 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,160 {\an8}Isn't that fabulous? 7 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,160 {\an8}I love to walk through its beautiful streets brimming with life. 8 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,120 {\an8}Hello, stranger. Me too. 9 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,360 {\an8}Have you been to El Retiro? 10 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,600 I love the smell of its almond trees in bloom. 11 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,600 Did you know I bought tulips today and thought about you? 12 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,360 Wow, you sure are going fast. 13 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,080 We haven't seen each other yet. 14 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,040 Besides, I forgot to tell you something important. 15 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,360 I'm a virgin. 16 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:07,640 So start practicing. 17 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:28,320 {\an8}YOU HAVE A HYMEN 18 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:36,520 Okay. 19 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:41,480 Well, as you can see, we can insert a few things, 20 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:46,640 but best forget vegetables, because they're not exactly hygienic. 21 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,480 She's certainly not enjoying it. 22 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,120 Yes… well. 23 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,080 -No. -Yes? 24 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,040 Do we need to insert something? 25 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,000 It's just that I don't feel too much. Maybe I'm doing it wrong. 26 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,400 No, Anabel, you're not doing anything wrong. 27 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,000 You see, there is no single way to reach orgasm. 28 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,600 Write that down. 29 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,520 "There is no single way to reach orgasm." 30 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,720 We each like different things. 31 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,720 I don't know, maybe you're more of a rubber. 32 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,680 Yeah, good luck telling my husband! 33 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,160 Your husband has to understand that not everything revolves around his cock. 34 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,200 Very well… 35 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:22,800 {\an8}Come on now. 36 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:23,960 {\an8}1ST CINEMA CLUB - MASTURBATION 37 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,680 -That's it for today's Cinema Club. -That's it? 38 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,200 It's gotten very late. 39 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,160 And remember the collection plate on the way out. 40 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,160 -That's it. -We can't live off air. 41 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,160 -Thanks -See you later, thank you. 42 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,160 Hey, how come Mariví didn't show up? 43 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,280 Mariví… she had to do overtime. 44 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,920 She had a very good week. 45 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,840 Yesterday we saw The Good, the Bad and… the other one 46 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,680 and she knew all the dialogues. 47 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,160 -I couldn't believe it. -I can imagine. Is she eating? 48 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,200 Better. But she won't touch any fruit. 49 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,520 Oh, my good God! 50 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:08,480 Mom? 51 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,520 Haven't you heard of knocking? 52 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,120 What about you? No fruit but you'll have dessert. 53 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,680 But why… 54 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,920 -You're the famous daughter. -Anselmo, cover up. 55 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,720 -Don't touch me. -Well, what do you think? 56 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,040 But what have you got there? 57 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:29,480 What? 58 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,320 NAUGHTY BUSINESS 59 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,280 My God. What a sight. 60 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,720 It's very irritated. 61 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,040 Have your sexual relations increased? 62 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,440 No, my Mariano is still in a coma. 63 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,680 Well, as for your vaginal dryness, 64 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,720 you should consider using lubricant in your "non-relations." 65 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,200 Vaginal dryness? 66 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,000 And what causes this? 67 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,160 We have to do more tests, but what with the hot flashes, 68 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,120 the altered menstruation… 69 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,360 I would say 70 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:09,400 it's the menopause. 71 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,160 Menopause? 72 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,800 -Already? -I'm afraid so. 73 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,520 So be prepared for sleep changes, headaches, 74 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,240 decreased sexual desire… 75 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,600 And take into account this is only going to get worse. 76 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,240 Encarni. 77 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,000 -How are you? -Good. 78 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,360 Encarnación Peña? 79 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,400 Good… 80 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,240 Well… Do you mind? 81 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,160 Sure. 82 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,920 -Another one? -Three! 83 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,640 One, two and three. 84 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,200 Go home. 85 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:55,880 Go back home. 86 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:56,800 I count 20. 87 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,560 Teresa, come on, you'll be late! 88 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:00,720 Come on! 89 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,160 You pick up the boy today, I'm very busy. 90 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,600 -Yes, very busy. -Go on. 91 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,240 -Come on, little one. -Honestly! 92 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,160 I mean, really… Always late. 93 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,560 Oh, Mariano… 94 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:24,360 -Let's see. -…showers in the north of the peninsula. 95 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:28,960 However, we need to keep in mind that it is summertime, 96 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,680 and temperatures remain high in most of the peninsula. 97 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:39,240 That burning that Nines feels is due to a red alert in her vagina, 98 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,400 with minimal moisture levels more typical of the Sahara. 99 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,840 And now we move to the forecast for the weekend. 100 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:49,000 The Canary and Balearic Islands will enjoy a totally spectacular climate. 101 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,520 Boss. 102 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,520 Yes, on my way now. 103 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,960 The air freshener… 104 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,760 No, but I'll swing by a shop and get one now. 105 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,440 I'll call you back. 106 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,040 -What capacity does the venue have? -Capacity? 107 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,560 I'm not sure. 108 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,520 If you wait for my boss to come, she will have the answer. 109 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,520 -Pardon? -Nothing? 110 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,800 -No. -You really haven't seen it. 111 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,960 No. I prefer gory movies, you know? 112 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,320 -Well, it's amazing. -Yes. 113 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,480 I don't think there are any gory scenes. 114 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,480 As far as I can remember. 115 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,640 I see that you have no new releases. 116 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:47,800 Strange that. 117 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:50,760 Yes. 118 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,800 And what's in there? 119 00:06:58,960 --> 00:06:59,880 In there? 120 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,440 There… 121 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,720 Dude, don't be naive. 122 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,440 Hey, María Encarnación and Romerales. 123 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,080 Nacho, take out the cuffs. 124 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,000 No! 125 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,200 What is this, a raid? 126 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,120 A raid. No, of course not. 127 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,680 I told him it was a routine visit. 128 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,760 Yes, of course, a routine visit for porn, right? 129 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,400 You're all the same. 130 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,520 You've been busier lately, right? 131 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,400 Yes, darling, cinema is back in fashion. 132 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,040 -I'm very pleased for you. -Thank you. 133 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,200 Call me sometime and we'll have a drink. 134 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,560 Or whatever. 135 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,080 We're leaving! 136 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:49,480 Goodbye, kiddo. 137 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:50,400 Bye. 138 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:58,640 I almost peed. 139 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,880 The police, that's all we need. 140 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,240 So long to the coven. 141 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:04,680 No, it's over. 142 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:09,600 I'm not going to throw it all away now because you've decided to get creative. 143 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,680 We rent movies here. That is our business. 144 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:17,280 Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore. 145 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,560 Jesus, Mary and Joseph. 146 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,280 Lupe, what are you doing here? 147 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,280 This is worse than I imagined. 148 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,040 I can explain. 149 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,440 We came for help. 150 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,760 Her mother has got trichomoniasis. 151 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,160 A sexual infection… in her pussy. 152 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,840 Sexual, at her age? 153 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:40,800 You have no idea. 154 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,800 There's more action there than we get. 155 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:47,200 The thing is they don't use protection, because they can't get pregnant. 156 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,480 And now there are five contagions and rising. 157 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,200 They've been seen by the doctor. 158 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,560 Lupe, honey, don't… 159 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,800 Those are the worst ones, don't look. 160 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,760 Okay, Mariví, what does trichomania have to do with us? 161 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,200 Well, we have to do something, don't we? 162 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,840 They will have to be helped. 163 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,120 Teach them how to take care of themselves. 164 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,000 Can't rely on the care home. 165 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,360 The director wants nothing to do with it. 166 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,880 I thought that if we bring them here, to one of our meetings… 167 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,360 Of course, on the down-low. 168 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,880 Oh, another creative one. 169 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,040 This is a video store! 170 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,840 We seem to have all forgotten. 171 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,400 I've heard that you help 172 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,680 women with these issues. 173 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:29,600 Yes. 174 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,960 Well, my mother is a woman, and she has an issue. 175 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,120 A big issue. 176 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,480 Okay, so we need to find an STD expert. 177 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,720 I can do it. 178 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,200 But are you even listening to me? 179 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,200 Now she wants to kidnap a bunch of old ladies and-- 180 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,120 No, not kidnap them. 181 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,800 We say we're going to the zoo. 182 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,200 Nines, I don't like this either. 183 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,280 Not one bit. 184 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,520 But my mother is sick. 185 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,040 And I am very sorry. 186 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,320 I'm telling you, Lupe, I'm really sorry, 187 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,680 but you can see what I have on my plate. 188 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,880 And now with the police breathing down my neck. 189 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,040 I can't do it. 190 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,240 And I would appreciate it 191 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,640 if you would not tell anyone about this. 192 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,120 Nines… 193 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,600 -No. -Just leave it. 194 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:20,760 -Honey… -No. 195 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:21,800 -We'll do it. -No! 196 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,040 -We'll do it. -No! 197 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:25,960 Me neither. 198 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,240 Okay then. You're screwed. Let's deal. 199 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,760 José, don't count on me tomorrow, okay? 200 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:34,760 What? 201 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,840 Nothing, the kid still doesn't manage alone. 202 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,040 -It's my turn to close. -No way, let Paca close up. 203 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,080 Paca has something at the video store. 204 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,800 Fucking video store. God knows what they're up to. 205 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,120 Isidro, you're coming gambling. 206 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,760 What, your wife can go out and you can't? 207 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,200 Hey, calm down, I don't know-- 208 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,520 -Don't be such a pussy. -Hey! 209 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,440 Well… 210 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,760 I didn't want to say anything, 211 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,160 but this morning I saw two cops coming out of there. 212 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,040 Police? What police? At Dorothy's? 213 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,640 Nazario, you didn't know? It's your place. 214 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,120 No. How would I know? 215 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,840 They'll get you in trouble in the end, Nazario. 216 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,760 -Yes. -Oh, stop being troublemakers. 217 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,560 Let it go. All they do is talk movies. 218 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,800 Movies my ass! 219 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,560 Why not talk here? Why behind closed doors? 220 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,920 -Well-- -I don't trust them. 221 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,280 One pair. 222 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,640 Holy crap. 223 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,000 Oh, my God. 224 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,160 What was that? 225 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:49,800 Listen. 226 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,760 Those dolls have seen too much, huh? 227 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,560 What do you mean, "dolls"? 228 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,000 Are you mocking my lucky trolls? 229 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,440 What? 230 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,160 Look, do you see the green one, with the green hair? 231 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,560 It's the lucky troll of money. And look at me, loaded. 232 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,120 Troll of money? 233 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,280 And do you know which one is my favorite? 234 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,160 -Which one? -The red one. 235 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,120 And which one is that? 236 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:19,320 The love troll. 237 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,360 Can't you see its effect here? 238 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,640 -You're crazy. -Yeah, crazy. 239 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,800 I think it can't do jack. 240 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:31,800 I see. 241 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,520 And yet look where you are. 242 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,280 -You stayed the night, finally. -Well… 243 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,520 "Well…" 244 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,360 Holy crap! 245 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:47,720 What? 246 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,640 -I have to go to work, I'm late. -Holy crap. 247 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,640 Let's see… 248 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,400 But you can stay. 249 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,560 I mean, here… 250 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:02,040 My roommates are here, but there is coffee, or whatever. 251 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,040 -Take your time, all right? -Okay. 252 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,840 Right, I have everything… 253 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:11,440 Okay. 254 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,600 -Okay. -Bye-bye. 255 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:23,040 -What? -I'm not going to forget this all day. 256 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,080 -Such a beautiful image. -What? Go on, get lost. 257 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:06,680 DICKWHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS 258 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,440 Why the hell can't they rewind them? 259 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,000 Menopause. 260 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,440 Fuck this! 261 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,680 -Excuse me, I'm looking for-- -No, I can't right now. 262 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,880 The cheek! 263 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,320 Can you tell what she is doing here again? 264 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,440 I'm sorry, it was all my fault. 265 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,200 What the hell was that asshole thinking? 266 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,960 This isn't what I think it is? 267 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,960 I told you not to give the girl porn! 268 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,800 I'm not a fucking girl! 269 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,960 And no, what you said was she couldn't go into the storeroom, 270 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,520 and she hasn't. 271 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,040 I gave her the movies myself. 272 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:19,720 "The movies"? 273 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,160 You've gone insane. 274 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,800 Why don't we just tone it down a little bit? 275 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,000 I'm going. 276 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,320 I don't want my dad to get you into more trouble. 277 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,880 It was lucky the cops didn't shut you down. 278 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,360 Did your father call them? 279 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,480 Holy crap, of course. 280 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,560 What did you think he was going to do? 281 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,200 You've screwed us over, Asunción. 282 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,000 Fuck it. If it's war Fidel wants, he will have it. 283 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,280 Are you even listening to what we are saying here? 284 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,960 Let it all out, of course, why not? 285 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,440 -He's called the cops. -So? 286 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,720 Do we wait for him to screw us over again? 287 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,840 Because he'll mess things up for us! 288 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:57,240 I am sick of being jerked around by everyone. 289 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:01,720 If we annoy Fidel, he will reveal what we have here. 290 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,080 -My father won't say anything. -How do you know? 291 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,680 Because if he does, I'll tell everyone that he has a lesbian daughter. 292 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,440 Hey, will you look at that. 293 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,880 Boss, we have to do something or he will end us. 294 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,240 Girls, 295 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,280 shall we break some eggs? 296 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,280 Hurry up! 297 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,760 -Who starts? -Me, he's my dad. 298 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,120 -Take this! Throw it. -No! 299 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,280 That guy ruined your husband. 300 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,320 Give me another one. 301 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,000 -You bastard! -Scumbag! 302 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,840 -Sellout! -Son of a bitch! 303 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,560 Vandals, I called the police! 304 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:06,560 Irene! 305 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,760 What a bitch! 306 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,120 Screw you! 307 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,320 You know what, Asunción? Let's call Mariví. 308 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,840 Let her bring the old ladies, I know who is going to give the talks. 309 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,280 Come on, let's go! 310 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,400 Hello. Can you hear me? 311 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,320 I see there are quite a few of us. 312 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,880 My name is Menchu. 313 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,480 {\an8}Some of you already know me. 314 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,280 {\an8}Puri, how are you? 315 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:37,400 {\an8}How's your husband? 316 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:38,520 Great. 317 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:41,600 They share a dentist. 318 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:46,520 {\an8}Okay. As an expert, I've been invited here today 319 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,120 {\an8}to talk to you about STDs, 320 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,600 {\an8}or sexually transmitted diseases. 321 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:56,560 But, more importantly, how not to catch them. 322 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,720 That's why… 323 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,360 -Menopause. -Menopause? 324 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,840 Vaginal dryness. 325 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,120 Congratulations, boss. 326 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,120 What an idea to bring her. 327 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,920 Our guests are here. Girls, come on in. Come on in. 328 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,440 Don't be shy, stand over here in the front. 329 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:33,960 I'm not contagious. 330 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,680 -Hi. -Hi there. 331 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,000 I want to become a member. 332 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,320 Well, I… 333 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,240 It's not going to be possible. 334 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,640 Why is that? 335 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,000 Well, because you are a… 336 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,160 And here there's only… 337 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,640 -I just can't. -Calm down. 338 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,880 Calm down, Chon told me everything. 339 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,240 I know your secret. 340 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:15,000 And she also told me that you have material for guys like me. 341 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,160 I'm sorry, but what do you mean by guys like you? 342 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,840 Well… you know. 343 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:25,600 No. 344 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,160 Gay porn. 345 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:29,320 Gay pornography. 346 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,480 Stop, 347 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,600 this is not cool. You're getting too wound up. 348 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,080 Maybe you misunderstood. 349 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,480 Richi said, "I want one of your mom's porn movies." 350 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,880 She slut-shames me because of a magazine, and then what? Hypocrite! 351 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,880 Like all mothers. 352 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,360 Besides, we go in, and then what? 353 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,680 We catch her at a meeting, and I intend to humiliate her. 354 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,480 Like she did to me. Let's go. 355 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,560 Okay. 356 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:55,800 Very well. 357 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:57,520 Here. 358 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:00,880 Thank you. 359 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,640 I noticed that you have a lot going on in there. 360 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,280 -Yeah. -So, I'd better come by another day. 361 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:13,160 And, well, if you feel like talking about your thing… 362 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:14,880 Okay. 363 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:16,840 Very well. 364 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,800 And, with a little patience… 365 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,160 -Rubber on. -Very good! 366 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,880 You are amazing. 367 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,720 -Wow. -Incredible. 368 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,920 Any questions? 369 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,360 You. 370 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,680 They hardly use condoms in movies. 371 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,760 Because they apply bicarbonate. 372 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,560 My mother used to say, "Bicarbonate gets rid of everything." 373 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:51,280 Girls, for starters, what happens in porn is not real. 374 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,480 It is science fiction, like Deep Impact. 375 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,680 And second, you always have to wear a condom. 376 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,480 No putting crap up there, please. 377 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:00,960 No experiments. 378 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,880 -Just one question. -Yes, go ahead. 379 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:07,360 At your age, do you still feel like it? 380 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,320 Fucking? 381 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,480 Well, yeah. 382 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:12,640 Yes, actually. 383 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,320 Yeah, no, it's just… 384 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,600 So I was just told that I have-- 385 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,360 -The menopause? -Yes. 386 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,600 Don't worry, as soon as it's over, happiness is complete. 387 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:27,920 Oh, really? 388 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:28,840 Yes. 389 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,040 Look… Goodbye to the one in red. 390 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,880 Farewell to the aches. 391 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,840 And besides, life gives us a truce to be like them. 392 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:40,200 Like whom? 393 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,360 Oh, my child, like men. 394 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,240 Now is when the good stuff starts. 395 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:48,720 Please. 396 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,680 Let's see, one question. 397 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,680 -Yes. -What if he doesn't want to put one on? 398 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:54,760 Well, my friend… 399 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,200 Well, then it's tough. 400 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,280 And if he gets frisky, get out the scissors and snip! 401 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,440 Like Lorena Bobbit. 402 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,680 That's right! 403 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:06,000 Yes, your pussy is yours and health comes first. 404 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,800 Trust me, I'm a whore. 405 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,280 Well… 406 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,240 Thank you, Menchu. 407 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,880 Thank you for your original staging. 408 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,880 Well then, that was today's talk. 409 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,920 See you next week. 410 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,880 -Please donate, okay? -That's it? 411 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,640 -Upstairs, it's over. -And remember, we were at the zoo. 412 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,360 Thank you for coming. 413 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,160 Come on. 414 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:36,680 Okay then. 415 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,720 We're leaving. 416 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,920 It was a beautiful exhibition. 417 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,720 And we have learned a great deal. 418 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,120 -Can I have two kisses? -Yes, of course. 419 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,200 Go on then. 420 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,400 -Okay. -Thanks for coming. 421 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,680 -Thank you. -Go on then. 422 00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,840 Neighbor, I've had a great time. 423 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,880 If you want me to come back, I'd be happy to. 424 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,360 Well… yeah. 425 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:06,800 Well done, right, Menchu? 426 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,680 -Thank you. -Okay then. 427 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,120 -Okay. -Thank you. We're leaving, it's late. 428 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,320 -Have you seen Elo? -Elo? 429 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,760 -Elo. -Who is Elo? 430 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:16,720 I'm losing them. 431 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,440 Hey. How's it going? 432 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,640 How'd it go? 433 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,320 Tell me now if you like. 434 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,240 Do you want us to go see Torrente at Vistarama? 435 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,760 Would you like that? 436 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,200 It didn't go very well, right? 437 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,520 I saw your tapes. 438 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:45,560 What tapes? 439 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,480 The ones you had in your room, Alfonso. 440 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,320 I saw the one about dwarfs. 441 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:55,520 Those fucking tapes. 442 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,000 Right… 443 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,920 You went through stuff in my room? 444 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:02,360 Hey… 445 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,040 Is something wrong? What? 446 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,400 -Yeah, what's wrong? -I don't know. 447 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,800 Do you like girls like that or what? 448 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:15,400 But like that, how? 449 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,200 Fuck, Alfonso, you know how. 450 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,680 What am I to you? 451 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,440 A fetish? A freak to sleep with and laugh with your buddies? 452 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,240 No, stop it. 453 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,560 Please, Chon, you're taking this too far. 454 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,640 Fuck you. That's all I need. 455 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,560 Okay. 456 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,040 Okay, yes, I like short girls. 457 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,040 You like, I don't know, 458 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,000 brown, skinny guys. 459 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:46,280 It's not the same thing. 460 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,520 Chon, it's exactly the same. 461 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,400 It's not the same, Alfonso! Can't you understand it or what? 462 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,560 I mean, are you so dumb that you can't understand 463 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,960 that this makes me feel like fucking shit? 464 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,200 Okay, yeah. I'm sorry. 465 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,040 Okay, I have been a bit of a fool. I'm sorry. 466 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,800 How many short girls have you been with? 467 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,080 -Chon, it doesn't matter. -How many? 468 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,520 -Chon, whatever. Please. -How many? 469 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,880 It doesn't matter. I like you. I like you and what you look like. 470 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,000 I don't care that you're short or tall. 471 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,640 I like you, and that is just a tape, Chon. 472 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,080 Really, it's just a tape, please. 473 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,680 I'll burn it, I don't care, but come on… 474 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,240 Don't do this to me, Chon. 475 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,840 I just can't. 476 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,680 CLASSICS 477 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:44,800 Eloisa? 478 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:48,360 Hey. 479 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:50,520 They're looking for you. 480 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,280 Sorry, I was distracted. 481 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,760 It's just that I haven't been around for some time. 482 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:59,240 But it's all as I remembered it. 483 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,000 You'd already been here? 484 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,280 You've no idea. 485 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:05,000 You don't know. Look at this. 486 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,920 But you are the first member of Dorothy's. 487 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,120 You're a legend. 488 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,680 That's nothing. 489 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,640 I was an actress in my younger days. 490 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,600 We made experimental films. 491 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,320 But anyway, I was there, and I was the king's favorite, huh? 492 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:34,400 Oh, Rita. 493 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,240 She really was a pioneer. 494 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,920 Do you know what she died of? 495 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,720 She was an alcoholic or something, right? 496 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,400 Yes, that's what everyone thinks. 497 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,120 She certainly could drink. 498 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:56,480 But then she started to forget the scripts, 499 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:58,160 to talk nonsense. 500 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,560 I don't know, she was doing weird things, 501 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:02,520 you know? 502 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,400 Alzheimer's. 503 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,800 They noticed when they opened her up for her autopsy. 504 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:15,600 How about that? After 20 years treating her like an old drunk. 505 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:17,920 Oh, well… 506 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:23,840 It's just that a lot of people think that cinema is just fun, a distraction, 507 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,520 but it's so much more. 508 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,080 It's a little window to the world. 509 00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:38,320 There have been very dark moments in this country. 510 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:41,840 A lot of repression. 511 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,640 And, of course, the cinema was like a refuge. 512 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,880 It taught us things we didn't dare to talk about. 513 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:30,520 And, for narrow-minded people, movies were a cure. 514 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,000 Because cinema actually opens the mind. 515 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:43,160 You don't know how lucky you are to have been born in this time. 516 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:45,560 Well… 517 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,360 You shouldn't think everything is perfect. 518 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:50,520 What a fright. 519 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,840 Here you are. Mom, we have to go. 520 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:53,760 Anyway. 521 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:56,040 See you at Mass. 522 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:57,520 Yes… of course. 523 00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,640 Or anywhere else. 524 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:01,400 Yes. 525 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:02,560 Come on, say goodbye. 526 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:03,760 -Okay. -Bye-bye. 527 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:04,880 Bye. 528 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,080 Goodbye. 529 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,320 My goodness, if they find out… 530 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:15,800 Yeah. 531 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,400 Please don't mix up the coins in the till. 532 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,560 Can't you see they are all mixed up? 533 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,160 Why did you tell him about it? 534 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:27,200 What? 535 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,240 Your friend, the gay one. 536 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,760 -Why did you tell him about me? -Did he come or what? 537 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:40,320 Agu, I only said you were a bit confused, that's all. 538 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:41,760 Chon, it was personal. 539 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,200 I don't want to be with any gay guy just because he's from here. 540 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,480 There are loads. 541 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,040 I don't even know if I'm gay. 542 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,200 No one said to make out. 543 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,000 I guess I just wanted to help, 544 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,600 and for him to talk to you. 545 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:03,800 Hello, Nazario, how are you? 546 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:05,680 What do you need? 547 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:06,960 Is Nines not in? 548 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,160 -No. -Well, it doesn't matter. 549 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,040 I thought this would be different. You're giving porn to neighbors. 550 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,480 When their husbands find out… 551 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,480 They'll kill me, they're warm already. 552 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,680 They already sent the police, didn't they? 553 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:21,880 Well, look, I'm sorry, but I… 554 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,520 I want to stop being a partner. You can pay me back now. 555 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,160 You can't do that. That's not how it works. 556 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,200 Yes, I can. 557 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,440 Tell Nines to either pay me or it's goodbye. 38999

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