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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:05,320 The conflict between the werewolves and the vampires generates such an energy 2 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:06,840 upon which the devil sees. 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,340 I don't need blood anymore. 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:11,680 You stay away. 5 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:14,600 You are regret and disgust and nothing more. 6 00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:16,360 You want to talk to the real me? 7 00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:19,300 Hello. I believe I have some work for you. 8 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,600 I'll be right over. 9 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,660 I see you've started packing. 10 00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,180 How long will I be there? 11 00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:06,860 Not long. A few days. A week at the most. Then you'll come right back. 12 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,280 This is what you said was happening. 13 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,800 I have to talk to the Chinese from China. 14 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,140 You know China, don't you, Bobby? 15 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:22,900 They're going to give us funding so we can keep the archive open, and I... 16 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:25,580 I can carry on doing my job. 17 00:01:25,780 --> 00:01:28,040 Then I said, the Chinese eat rice. 18 00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:30,120 And you said, yes. 19 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,240 And if we get their funding, perhaps we'll have to eat rice too. 20 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,240 We could have sweet and sour chicken chow mein. 21 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,100 And then I said, I don't like rice. 22 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,980 And then you did that thing where you smiled. 23 00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:46,240 Put that thing in your head. 24 00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,100 Yes, 25 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,980 that seems pretty thorough. 26 00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:52,810 It's werewolf. I believe he's called Tom. 27 00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:57,750 Is he nice? We've barely... Yes, he's very nice. 28 00:01:58,490 --> 00:01:59,690 I don't want to go. 29 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:02,370 Bobby, they're about to cut the electricity. 30 00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:05,950 It'll be jolly cold and there won't be any lights. 31 00:02:08,789 --> 00:02:12,130 All the same, it'll be jolly creepy. 32 00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:17,250 This isn't a permanent arrangement. I hope I've made that clear. 33 00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:21,020 Once I've secured the funding, you'll be brought straight back. 34 00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:26,000 Plus all my posters are here. I'm sure Tom wouldn't mind if you took a couple 35 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:31,140 with you. But more importantly, Bobby, the locks are linked to the grip. 36 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:36,500 With the electricity gone, we won't have any way of containing you. Do you 37 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,240 understand what that means? 38 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,020 I'll take Burt Reynolds and... 39 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,290 Wurzel Gummidge, please. 40 00:02:54,330 --> 00:02:55,650 No, I'm not doing it. No way. 41 00:02:55,910 --> 00:02:57,830 He can't stay in the archive. 42 00:02:58,330 --> 00:02:59,650 I have no staff. 43 00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:03,750 And with the electricity turned off, no way of containing him during the full 44 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,270 moon. Tell him about the deal. 45 00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:10,250 After some unfortunate encounters, we've made a pledge to avoid contact with 46 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:11,250 other supernaturals. 47 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:12,290 They're nothing but trouble. 48 00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:14,610 Bobby's no trouble. Are you, Bobby? 49 00:03:17,089 --> 00:03:18,430 Bobby, what is it? 50 00:03:19,610 --> 00:03:20,790 He does this. 51 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:22,750 Nothing to. 52 00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:25,150 He's thinking. 53 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,490 No, it's me. 54 00:03:26,770 --> 00:03:28,790 He'd noticed our friend Alex. She's a ghost. 55 00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:32,530 You hear that, Bobby? They have a ghost. Goodness gracious. 56 00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:36,290 Why can't he go somewhere else? He needs to be billeted with people who have the 57 00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:38,930 experience and tools to deal with his condition. 58 00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:42,070 And this household does owe me a favour. 59 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,430 For what? 60 00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:44,690 Cleaning up after Ian. 61 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaking of whom, he has adopted the soubriquet Crumb and gone on a killing 62 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,880 spree. He's claimed at least six victims in the last month alone. 63 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,180 I haven't seen anything in the papers. No. 64 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,700 I have reason to believe he's formed an alliance with an ex -employee of mine, 65 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,100 Alan. 66 00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:05,520 Together, they can kill at will and leave no trace. 67 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:11,460 I want you to deal with them, however you see fit. 68 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:12,679 That's not my responsibility. 69 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:13,960 You made Crumb. 70 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,760 Besides, you've cost my department a lot of time and resources over the 71 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,340 centuries. This is your chance to give a little something back. 72 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,520 Big society and so forth. 73 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,320 And Mr McNair will look after Bobby until I'm back. 74 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:28,560 No chance. 75 00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:32,740 His wouldn't be for long. 76 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,840 What about work? He's not coming to work. Look at him. 77 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:41,880 What's your job? 78 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:43,440 Um... 79 00:04:43,790 --> 00:04:45,250 I'm a assistant manager in a hotel. 80 00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:47,070 Skew. 81 00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:49,870 Is he being sarcastic? 82 00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,630 Truth be told, I'm never quite sure. 83 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,950 I'll be back before the full moon. 84 00:04:55,210 --> 00:04:57,370 Bobby, do whatever Mr McNair says. 85 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:58,830 I'll show myself out. 86 00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:07,370 So what are we going to do? 87 00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:10,150 Stop killing people. 88 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:11,810 Who's there? 89 00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:13,230 Hello, Ian. 90 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:14,759 It's Hal. 91 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,120 There is no Ian. 92 00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:18,340 There is only Crumb. 93 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,100 Okay, Crumb. 94 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,060 Still Hal. 95 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,600 Alex? 96 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,000 What do you think, though? 97 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,720 What do I owe the pleasure? 98 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,040 I've come to see if you need some help. 99 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,640 Do I look like I need help? 100 00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:40,140 Alex! Stop company! 101 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,660 Not more pizza? 102 00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:44,330 No, no, I think they've run out of delivery boys. 103 00:05:46,690 --> 00:05:47,690 Alan, 104 00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:53,090 this is Hal and Alec. And this is Hazel. 105 00:05:53,510 --> 00:05:55,270 Hal, I read your bio. 106 00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:56,570 Huge fan. 107 00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,690 That Alec. 108 00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:06,050 Alec, Alec. You know, they say death is 109 00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:09,090 a natural aphrodisiac. 110 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,040 We don't want it to stop. 111 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:18,760 We've got blood. 112 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,120 We've got girls. 113 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:26,280 Blaming Orc. Look, I understand the thrill of the newfound power, the 114 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,820 exhilaration. But I told you, it won't last. 115 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,080 Sooner or later, it gives way to guilt. 116 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:33,780 To horror. 117 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,400 We don't say about that. 118 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,500 Hair of the dog. 119 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,020 You start all over again. 120 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,220 Would you just excuse us for a minute? 121 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,560 You're not... I say we take them both and we get the hell out of here. Brooke 122 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,460 said I could deal with crumb however I saw fit. Yes. 123 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:52,340 And we both know that that was posh boy's hook for kebab. 124 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,300 There had been enough death and violence. 125 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:57,720 This is where it ends. 126 00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:03,560 We can help him and his friend for once. 127 00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,320 We can do some good. 128 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:07,820 Yeah! That's it! 129 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,680 Yeah! 130 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,160 I want to help you. 131 00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:17,240 You had your chance and I came asking. 132 00:07:17,460 --> 00:07:20,540 Remember? You didn't give a shit then. That was wrong of me. 133 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,180 But I want to make up for it now. 134 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:29,100 With our help, you can leave all this behind, both of you. 135 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:33,900 You can have careers, friends, even... even lovers. 136 00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:35,260 Well, like you. 137 00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:37,340 Yes. 138 00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:39,720 I have a full and rewarding life. 139 00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,320 When's Mr Rook coming back? 140 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:00,560 I don't know. 141 00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:04,060 What are you doing? 142 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,200 What's it look like? 143 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,840 I'm not allowed to iron. 144 00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:12,060 Last time I ironed something, my legs got burned pretty badly. 145 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,140 I did... Never mind. 146 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,620 Can I take my shoes off? No. 147 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,240 Can I sit under the table? No. 148 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,220 Have you got an answering machine, specifically the Beltone 500? 149 00:08:32,539 --> 00:08:33,459 Ash! 150 00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:39,679 No, we haven't. The Beltone 500 was one of the last answering machines for you, 151 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,460 the little cassette. 152 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,480 Brilliant, that. 153 00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:44,620 Honestly. 154 00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:47,940 When's Mr Rook coming back? I don't know, mate. 155 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,440 Hello? 156 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,200 What are they doing here? I told him. 157 00:08:58,979 --> 00:08:59,979 Who's he? 158 00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:01,400 Hello from the archive. 159 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,100 What are you doing here? I live here now. 160 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,660 Mr. Tom's looking after me. 161 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,800 Bobby is another temporary guest. 162 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,120 What do you mean, another? 163 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,580 Crumb and his friend Alan are going to be staying with us while we help them 164 00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:15,580 off the blood. 165 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,640 Nice to see you again, housemates. 166 00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:19,940 Tom? 167 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:30,360 By bringing them into our pact, we're making it bigger and stronger. 168 00:09:31,580 --> 00:09:33,300 Helping them will help us. 169 00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:36,280 I don't trust them. Good, don't. 170 00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:37,980 They're junkies. 171 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:42,100 But with the right sort of help, they can change. If I can be redeemed, surely 172 00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,820 they can too. Fine, okay? 173 00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:45,780 But I am not cleaning up any poo. 174 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,720 You can count me out. I'm going to work. Tom, as you may remember, the early 175 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,520 stages of blood withdrawal can be quite... frenetic. 176 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,520 I don't think it's a good idea for Bobby to be around that. 177 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,220 Well, he's not going to the hotel. 178 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,480 No way. 179 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,300 Dude, why are you being such a dick? 180 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:10,280 This isn't like you. I'm not. Just look at him. 181 00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:15,440 He's smelly and airy and he asks loads of stupid questions all the time. 182 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:16,740 Oh, my God. 183 00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:19,460 You're a snob. 184 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:23,840 But... 185 00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:25,610 Shut up, man. No, he's right. 186 00:10:26,150 --> 00:10:29,450 You've got a house and you've got a job and you've become a snob. Big snob. 187 00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:30,870 I don't believe it. 188 00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:34,970 Ah, you don't know what you... Right, come on then, Bobby. We're leaving. 189 00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:41,710 Tom, before you go... ..can I have some of your blood? 190 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,310 I'm battered. I think I'm bleeding. Dogs are everywhere. 191 00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:49,990 See you. 192 00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:53,860 Don't touch anything, don't talk to any guests and don't bother any staff. As 193 00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:55,280 you can see, we're rushed off the feed. 194 00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:56,879 It's huge. 195 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:57,880 There we go. 196 00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,119 What is? 197 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,800 I cannot see in a smaller room. No, you cannot. This is a luxury dining suite 198 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,860 suitable for intimate dinners for two or family celebrations. 199 00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:06,740 Appreciate it. OK? 200 00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:09,120 Yeah? Thank you. 201 00:11:31,119 --> 00:11:35,900 Because addicts can't be trusted, this will be your home by night. 202 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:42,920 You will experience nightmares, delusions, cramps, guilt. 203 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,280 You'll wish you were dead. 204 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:48,360 But when you make it through to the other side, you'll cherish life even 205 00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:53,520 For the day, I have prepared a rigorous program of housework, exercises, routine 206 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,880 tasks designed to suppress your cravings and control your appetite. 207 00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:03,090 Contact with even the smallest drop of blood could resurrect my more monstrous 208 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:06,830 side. So Alex has kindly agreed to a sit -down. 209 00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:08,310 Should I wear my leotard? 210 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,510 That would be nice. 211 00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:14,970 The one on the left is the human blood you brought with you. The one on the 212 00:12:14,970 --> 00:12:18,550 right, kindly donated by Tom, is werewolf blood. 213 00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:23,670 One will dissolve your organs from the inside out. 214 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,370 The other will rot your soul until there's nothing of you left. 215 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,000 One just more quickly than the other. 216 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:49,160 If at any point in this process you feel you can no longer resist, then these 217 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,520 glasses will be here for you. 218 00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:52,620 All you have to do is ask. 219 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,660 But if you take one, you must be prepared to die. 220 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:57,860 One way or the other. 221 00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,100 Any questions? 222 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:04,800 Why are you still here? 223 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:06,620 What do you mean? 224 00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:07,670 He attacked me. 225 00:13:08,650 --> 00:13:09,650 Recruited me. 226 00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:12,670 Took me prisoner. You were shocked. You were so hurt. 227 00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:14,510 You're still here. 228 00:13:14,810 --> 00:13:15,930 Still friends. 229 00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:21,830 Because he's fighting it. 230 00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:27,450 Every day he's trying to be something better and I don't know, I guess I 231 00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:28,450 that. 232 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,560 So how long was you in that place? 233 00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:09,980 33 years. 234 00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:13,820 Have you got an answer machine here? 235 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,760 A Beltone 500? 236 00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:17,540 Darn it. 237 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,480 So what happened, Bobby? 238 00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:22,780 I went fishing. 239 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,900 I caught a condom this big. 240 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:28,920 That's when it ran past. 241 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,480 Cut my back and pushed me in the water. 242 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,080 I was 12. 243 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,060 I know that because it was my birthday a month later. 244 00:14:39,260 --> 00:14:41,880 And the whole of my family come round for a barbecue. 245 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,600 A month later? 246 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:45,800 Oh, mate. 247 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,940 Mr Rookaway says it was quick. 248 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,780 And they wouldn't have felt any pain. 249 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,960 It wasn't your fault. 250 00:14:57,420 --> 00:15:03,060 Mr Rookaway says that I'm a savage and deadly predator that society should be 251 00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:04,060 protected from. 252 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,440 You must be right. He drives a Lexus. Whatever. 253 00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:10,860 You're out now. 254 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,500 Your chance to do things different. 255 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,120 Your chance to make some of yourself. 256 00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:16,860 Right, come on. 257 00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:17,980 We'll start tomorrow. 258 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,500 I'm going to introduce you to the exciting world of hotel and leisure 259 00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,500 management. 260 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000 Hello, 261 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,040 you. 262 00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,300 What's wrong? 263 00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:31,620 Can't you see her? 264 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,400 thingy. Hazel? 265 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:38,720 Hazel! 266 00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:42,880 The girl we killed in the flat last night. 267 00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:44,140 There's nothing there. 268 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,400 It's just a lack of blood. Shut up. I'm trying to concentrate. 269 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:58,400 What are you doing? In the archive they told us not to get loose in case we ever 270 00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,920 got captured by one of your lot. 271 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:01,380 Our lot. 272 00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:03,260 Nearly there. 273 00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:04,349 I'm all right. 274 00:16:04,350 --> 00:16:05,510 Don't worry about me. 275 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,330 Don't tell me you're doing this for real. 276 00:16:10,130 --> 00:16:13,690 I made a promise to Alex. And how? 277 00:16:14,070 --> 00:16:17,910 So, what's that got to do with... Oh, my God. 278 00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,210 You found the Alex. 279 00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:23,110 That's why you're doing this. 280 00:16:23,370 --> 00:16:25,050 Oh, man, that's funny. 281 00:16:26,970 --> 00:16:30,250 Really, if I wasn't already dead, I would die laughing. 282 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,220 I'm not listening to you. 283 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,980 You really think someone like Alex would go for someone like you? 284 00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:43,920 No, not like me. That's the delusion. 285 00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:48,500 Totally shagging. How? Stop! 286 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:49,720 There's a friend. 287 00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:50,980 Please. 288 00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:54,820 How? Body of a Greek god. 289 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,260 And that's you. 290 00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,440 Body of a Greek waiter. 291 00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:08,250 Get off! Leave me alone! 292 00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:11,770 Girls like us never go for guys like you. 293 00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:15,450 Forget what your mum said. 294 00:17:15,829 --> 00:17:17,329 It's not about personality. 295 00:17:18,089 --> 00:17:22,530 It's not about letting the seed of special boys die. 296 00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,990 I mean, you became a vampire. 297 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,349 I mean, you did. 298 00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:28,990 I mean, forget me. 299 00:17:29,630 --> 00:17:30,670 I said... 300 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:31,960 SHOOT! 301 00:17:58,220 --> 00:17:59,220 Grand, Barry speaking. 302 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,120 No, you did it again. It's the Barry Grand and you're Bobby. 303 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,560 Sorry. The Barry Grand and I'm Bobby. Yeah. The Barry Grand and I'm Bobby. 304 00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:09,660 sometimes I like to throw in the old, what's the weather like where you are, 305 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,680 just to get him nice and relaxed before you tell him the price. 306 00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:17,220 No, I couldn't do this. He's all moving too fast for me. No, he's not. He can do 307 00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:18,980 it. I did it, so you can too. 308 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:20,620 You're brilliant. 309 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,480 I think brilliant's a bit... Come on. 310 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,700 I don't know, Lawrence. It's your decision, mate. Yeah, you are. You own 311 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:30,880 hotel. You wear a tie. 312 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,160 I wore a tie for Christmas 2006. 313 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,980 And I burnt me legs pretty badly. 314 00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:38,780 Dad? 315 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,200 Never mind. 316 00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:42,860 Can we do it again, then? 317 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:45,760 Morning, Hayden. 318 00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,140 Who's Alan? 319 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,400 He got down in the night, trying to make me drink blood. 320 00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:52,320 You're supposed to be here to stop killing. 321 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:53,600 I know. 322 00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:55,740 That's what I want, but he didn't. 323 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,700 He was my only friend, and I put a stake through his heart because I want to be 324 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:02,700 clean. 325 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,720 Look, I didn't touch the blood. 326 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:10,000 I could have tested it and drank it and driven the nightmares out, but I didn't 327 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,100 because I want your help. Please don't give a fucking head. 328 00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,020 Let's get started. 329 00:19:46,889 --> 00:19:49,690 Now what you do is you just have to surf it round the world. 330 00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:08,790 Only you can make one out of two. 331 00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:12,850 That's all that we've been through. 332 00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:20,690 Keep on giving me a reason to see it through your eyes. 333 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:24,650 You can make one out of two. 334 00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:28,590 That's all that we've been through. 335 00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:33,990 The yeoman's market. 336 00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:44,510 And 337 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:53,010 relax. 338 00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:56,530 What did you see? My niece. 339 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,070 I used to take her to Blackpool. 340 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,660 She was desperate to go on this old roller coaster called the Mouth Trap. 341 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,500 So I'd stand her on my foot so she looked tall enough. 342 00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:07,420 It was brilliant. 343 00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:09,540 She screamed so loud. 344 00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:16,300 The same scream she made when I killed her mum. 345 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,400 Only that was horrible. 346 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,300 It was even worse when I made her stop. 347 00:21:29,710 --> 00:21:31,090 I need some blood. No. 348 00:21:31,770 --> 00:21:32,770 It's good. 349 00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:34,310 You need to feel it. 350 00:21:34,670 --> 00:21:36,870 Because the next time you want to kill, that's what you remember. 351 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,430 You hold on to that memory and you stop. 352 00:21:41,950 --> 00:21:42,950 Do you understand? 353 00:21:42,990 --> 00:21:43,990 You stop. 354 00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:47,690 What did you think of? 355 00:21:48,150 --> 00:21:49,310 It isn't about me. 356 00:21:49,530 --> 00:21:50,650 I need to know. 357 00:21:52,590 --> 00:21:55,670 You can be clean with things like that in your head. 358 00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:58,190 Please. 359 00:22:14,190 --> 00:22:15,190 What was she like? 360 00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:16,750 Relative. 361 00:22:17,610 --> 00:22:18,610 Furious. 362 00:22:19,930 --> 00:22:21,250 Majestic. Pinyonated. 363 00:22:22,570 --> 00:22:23,570 Infuriated. 364 00:22:25,270 --> 00:22:27,050 Delicate one minute, foul -mouthed the next. 365 00:22:29,310 --> 00:22:36,210 My love for her was a physical ache in the pit of my belly that I never wanted 366 00:22:36,210 --> 00:22:37,210 to be free from. 367 00:22:39,910 --> 00:22:41,170 Did she know what you were? 368 00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:45,450 She thought she could save me. 369 00:22:47,230 --> 00:22:54,110 She thought her love, her friendship, her body would keep me strong and clean. 370 00:22:54,630 --> 00:22:55,630 What happened? 371 00:22:56,550 --> 00:22:58,090 I always have a rough idea. 372 00:23:13,450 --> 00:23:17,410 I was out riding when suddenly I decided to turn my horse around, ride back to 373 00:23:17,410 --> 00:23:19,510 the house, kill everyone inside it. 374 00:23:21,350 --> 00:23:24,350 As if I was deciding to change into a warmer coat. 375 00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:33,750 I worked my way up from the kitchen and found her sitting on our bed. 376 00:23:35,910 --> 00:23:39,710 She didn't look frightened or even surprised. 377 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,540 She told me not to blame myself. She said it was stupid of her to think that 378 00:23:49,540 --> 00:23:50,540 could change me. 379 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:53,920 I agreed. 380 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,860 Then I laughed. 381 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,040 Ah. 382 00:24:04,060 --> 00:24:06,220 So that's why you're with Alex now. 383 00:24:06,620 --> 00:24:07,820 You can't kill her. 384 00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:09,300 I'm not with Alex. 385 00:24:09,780 --> 00:24:10,780 Really? 386 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:14,720 Do you know the card? 387 00:24:15,719 --> 00:24:19,440 Dinosaurs and Peppa Pig, but... Al, cover your ears. 388 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,240 Make them together. 389 00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:24,540 Not till they're... Everything 390 00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:29,880 OK? 391 00:24:31,980 --> 00:24:35,560 It makes you think of all the horrible things you'd wish you'd never done in 392 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:36,459 your life. 393 00:24:36,460 --> 00:24:38,280 Yeah, I used to get like that in Sambuca. 394 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:42,800 So... 395 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,200 Here we are again. 396 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,140 This keeps happening? 397 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:53,780 Not sure about the heat. 398 00:24:58,980 --> 00:25:02,680 Do you remember when Hal first brought me here? 399 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:04,399 Yeah, probably. 400 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,880 Shouldn't have let you out and read the book. 401 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,180 But you did. 402 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,400 What does that tell us? 403 00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:13,720 How long can we keep up this charade? 404 00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:16,040 You'd be surprised. 405 00:25:18,740 --> 00:25:19,740 Alec. 406 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,080 May I treat you to a fish supper? 407 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,380 Oh, he 408 00:25:30,380 --> 00:25:38,880 just 409 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,600 asked me out on a date. At least I think he did anyway. 410 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,660 He's asking out for a fish supper. 411 00:25:44,490 --> 00:25:45,490 Is that an English thing? 412 00:25:45,630 --> 00:25:46,650 I don't think that's a good idea. 413 00:25:47,530 --> 00:25:49,250 Yeah, well, I wasn't actually considering it. 414 00:25:49,630 --> 00:25:53,570 I only told you so we could toss our heads back and laugh smugly, but once 415 00:25:53,570 --> 00:25:55,870 again, you have ruined my fun. 416 00:25:56,110 --> 00:25:59,410 I'm not sure it's worth continuing this at all. 417 00:26:04,410 --> 00:26:06,590 Are we ever truly safe? 418 00:26:08,570 --> 00:26:10,890 Can we all really properly assimilate? 419 00:26:11,210 --> 00:26:12,210 Of course. 420 00:26:12,750 --> 00:26:13,750 Look at you. 421 00:26:14,730 --> 00:26:18,910 I mean, one minute you are knee -deep in virgins, the next you are having a 422 00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:20,110 letter read out on you and yours. 423 00:26:20,410 --> 00:26:24,150 Please. No, what you said to Crumb is true. We can have a normal human life. 424 00:26:24,470 --> 00:26:26,430 I mean, isn't that why we're doing this? 425 00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:31,150 Not just for Crumb, but for everything. A house, job, a nectar card. 426 00:26:31,750 --> 00:26:33,470 It's to be human. Pretending. 427 00:26:34,930 --> 00:26:35,930 It's dripping up. 428 00:26:36,150 --> 00:26:37,290 Oh, it's keeping us safe. 429 00:26:37,850 --> 00:26:40,070 It's stopping you from going on a killing spree. 430 00:26:40,490 --> 00:26:42,570 Stopping me from going loopy like Mary. 431 00:26:42,770 --> 00:26:43,770 All we're doing. 432 00:26:44,110 --> 00:26:46,590 It's marking time until the inevitable happens. 433 00:26:46,850 --> 00:26:48,010 Kind of like life, then? 434 00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:53,450 Hal, we have got to grab every scrap of normality that we can, whether that's 435 00:26:53,450 --> 00:26:57,850 watching rubbish telly, laughing, going on a crap date. 436 00:26:59,670 --> 00:27:00,990 Going on a crap date? 437 00:27:01,230 --> 00:27:02,230 No. 438 00:27:02,510 --> 00:27:03,510 No. 439 00:27:04,250 --> 00:27:05,250 You're not serious. 440 00:27:05,770 --> 00:27:10,830 OK, I want 11 tins of alphabetic spaghetti to prove a point. This, this 441 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:11,830 nothing. 442 00:27:12,620 --> 00:27:15,960 I'm going to go out on a date with Crumb, and I'm going to show you that 443 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,600 normality and all those human things are possible. 444 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,740 Don't get me wrong, if he tries anything, I will drop a piano on his 445 00:27:23,740 --> 00:27:27,740 apart from that, we're going to have a great time. A great normal time. 446 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:29,640 You watch. 447 00:27:58,830 --> 00:27:59,830 Bell time, 500. 448 00:28:00,210 --> 00:28:01,250 Yeah, I got it off the eBay. 449 00:28:02,110 --> 00:28:03,270 Would you plug it in for me? 450 00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:23,790 Hello, Bobby Love. 451 00:28:24,290 --> 00:28:25,630 Hope you had a good day at school. 452 00:28:26,430 --> 00:28:27,550 This last night's my... 453 00:28:35,230 --> 00:28:39,970 Mum finished work late most nights, so I just let myself in. 454 00:28:41,270 --> 00:28:42,790 So she'd leave me messages. 455 00:28:43,270 --> 00:28:44,730 So, like, here in a voice. 456 00:28:46,210 --> 00:28:52,450 They, um... They let me take... They let me take the answer phone into the 457 00:28:52,450 --> 00:28:54,930 archive. It got broken in 1997. 458 00:28:55,870 --> 00:28:57,170 They'd stop making them by then. 459 00:28:58,010 --> 00:29:01,930 So I... I haven't been able to listen to this. 460 00:29:03,010 --> 00:29:04,330 I'm really pleased you like it. 461 00:29:06,250 --> 00:29:07,430 You do like it, don't you? 462 00:29:08,630 --> 00:29:09,630 I love it. 463 00:29:11,130 --> 00:29:12,130 Bobby! 464 00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:13,350 Bobby! Bobby! 465 00:29:13,750 --> 00:29:15,490 Put him down, my God! 466 00:29:15,890 --> 00:29:20,770 Mr Rook, I knew this would happen. Mr McNair, I can't apologise enough. 467 00:29:21,010 --> 00:29:22,350 That's all right. He was just talking to me, wasn't he? 468 00:29:22,750 --> 00:29:25,510 Are you all right? Yeah, I'll just need to sit down for a second. 469 00:29:26,630 --> 00:29:27,870 How did it go with the Chinese? 470 00:29:28,370 --> 00:29:29,370 Not well. 471 00:29:29,630 --> 00:29:32,690 They were more interested in what return they could get from their investment. 472 00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:37,610 Because keeping the world safe clearly isn't enough of a fucking return! 473 00:29:41,250 --> 00:29:46,550 Anyway, I promised I'd be back before the full moon, so here I am. Now, I was 474 00:29:46,550 --> 00:29:50,070 thinking, perhaps I can rig up some emergency lighting in the archives. 475 00:29:50,370 --> 00:29:51,470 No, it's all right. 476 00:29:51,850 --> 00:29:54,550 Because Mr. Tom said that I can change in the cellar, isn't he there? 477 00:29:54,870 --> 00:29:56,890 Yeah, I usually change there, but I'll just go to the woods. 478 00:29:57,110 --> 00:29:58,170 I've done it hundreds of times. 479 00:29:59,650 --> 00:30:03,610 Yeah, but this can't be a permanent arrangement, Bobby. We agreed it 480 00:30:03,610 --> 00:30:04,610 safe, remember? 481 00:30:04,750 --> 00:30:08,170 No, listen, I know you love locking people up, but I'm looking after Bobby 482 00:30:08,470 --> 00:30:10,010 He's not an animal, he's a nice guy. 483 00:30:10,570 --> 00:30:11,570 He's got potential. 484 00:30:12,730 --> 00:30:14,170 He could do brilliant things, mate. 485 00:30:15,930 --> 00:30:16,930 No, Bobby, please! 486 00:30:17,990 --> 00:30:19,210 Just keep it inside you, man. 487 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,960 Mr. Tom's going to teach me mountaineering, swimming. 488 00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:28,340 He's one of the country's most sought -after lifeguards. 489 00:30:28,900 --> 00:30:29,859 Isn't he? 490 00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:30,960 Hello, Mr. Rock. 491 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:32,400 Crump. 492 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,440 It's Ian, actually. 493 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:40,680 It's your... Sir Hal decided to... Not kill him. 494 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:45,540 No. Instead, Ian is working through his issues and making a fresh start. 495 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:46,800 Oh, yeah. 496 00:30:46,950 --> 00:30:49,550 I've come a long way from when you made me kill my niece. 497 00:30:49,770 --> 00:30:52,470 I told you at the time, that was a tragic accident. 498 00:30:53,070 --> 00:30:55,650 I thought seeing your family would have a stabilising effect. 499 00:30:55,930 --> 00:30:56,930 No. Fine. 500 00:30:57,470 --> 00:30:58,470 Fine. 501 00:30:59,450 --> 00:31:00,730 That's all behind me. 502 00:31:01,290 --> 00:31:08,030 I have developed coping strategies and found a positive outlet to 503 00:31:08,030 --> 00:31:09,030 my energy. 504 00:31:09,850 --> 00:31:15,390 In fact, tonight, I shall be enjoying a meal with a young lady. 505 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:20,600 He means Alex. 506 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,320 Forgot it. 507 00:31:23,740 --> 00:31:25,300 And Alan? 508 00:31:26,060 --> 00:31:29,820 Irredeemable and remorseless. He was about to go on a rampage, but thankfully 509 00:31:29,820 --> 00:31:31,400 Ian intervened. 510 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:37,760 Well, that's... That's wonderful. 511 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:44,100 I must confess, I never imagined that you 512 00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:49,810 and Bobby would adapt... to the world quite so smoothly. 513 00:31:51,550 --> 00:31:57,510 Clearly, my work here, as they say, is done. 514 00:31:57,850 --> 00:31:59,150 You could work here. 515 00:31:59,630 --> 00:32:01,850 One of the maids that got Impa Tiger. 516 00:32:02,090 --> 00:32:03,210 Very kind. 517 00:32:05,010 --> 00:32:11,530 But the Ministry for Agriculture are looking for a junior 518 00:32:11,530 --> 00:32:12,530 researcher. 519 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:18,700 I suppose after running an entire department with an annual budget of £100 520 00:32:18,700 --> 00:32:22,540 million, it could be considered a bit of a backward step. 521 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:25,440 Needs much. 522 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,580 I shall bid you farewell. 523 00:32:36,340 --> 00:32:38,220 I'd know that still, Jennywell. 524 00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:49,300 Vampires, they were. 525 00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:53,180 They tied me in chains. 526 00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:56,000 In candle spells. 527 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,440 Damage. I thought I was done for. 528 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:01,800 And then there you were. 529 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,040 The boys in grey. 530 00:33:05,780 --> 00:33:08,260 No, I'd be burning in hell if it wasn't for your lot. 531 00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:12,580 You can imagine my shock when I found one of them was working here. 532 00:33:13,020 --> 00:33:14,480 And a werewolf, too. 533 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,900 I wanted to get your lot round here with a big net. 534 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:19,900 How did you know what they were? 535 00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:21,340 The vampire's careless. 536 00:33:22,580 --> 00:33:25,600 Stands in front of a mirror, then realises it and runs away. 537 00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:29,520 Someone points the camera at him, he nearly jumps out of the window. 538 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:30,840 And the wolf? 539 00:33:31,220 --> 00:33:32,220 Well, that was a guess. 540 00:33:32,860 --> 00:33:36,440 He disappears every full moon, turns up the next morning looking knackered. 541 00:33:39,260 --> 00:33:40,340 Anyway, here you are. 542 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,160 Which one of them are you after? 543 00:33:43,870 --> 00:33:44,930 Neither, I'm afraid. 544 00:33:45,550 --> 00:33:49,270 For one thing, they seem to have rehabilitated. 545 00:33:49,490 --> 00:33:50,810 Oh, you don't believe that. 546 00:33:53,150 --> 00:33:54,410 Doesn't matter what I believe. 547 00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:58,050 My department has been dissolved. 548 00:33:59,190 --> 00:34:00,190 No, no. 549 00:34:02,270 --> 00:34:03,630 This won't do at all. 550 00:34:05,690 --> 00:34:07,430 I can only spend £12. 551 00:34:08,570 --> 00:34:11,989 I can actually eat, so you just knock yourself out. 552 00:34:12,230 --> 00:34:13,230 Ah. 553 00:34:14,830 --> 00:34:17,050 Excellent. Well, it's been nice knowing you'll never get fat. 554 00:34:17,350 --> 00:34:18,750 I know what you women are like. 555 00:34:19,370 --> 00:34:21,909 Mind you, just as well no -one likes a fat girl. 556 00:34:22,889 --> 00:34:25,510 And believe me, they are not all jolly. 557 00:34:28,810 --> 00:34:29,810 Waiter. 558 00:34:33,909 --> 00:34:34,909 Waiter! 559 00:34:38,310 --> 00:34:39,310 How's it going? 560 00:34:39,830 --> 00:34:40,830 Brilliant. 561 00:34:41,260 --> 00:34:42,560 Ian is fascinating. 562 00:34:43,100 --> 00:34:44,699 Already covered loads of topics. 563 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,580 My 11 favourite cheeses. 564 00:34:46,780 --> 00:34:50,380 Yeah, it's the Riots of Normality. 565 00:34:51,060 --> 00:34:52,060 Right. 566 00:34:52,980 --> 00:34:54,000 Ready to order. 567 00:34:54,340 --> 00:35:01,220 Question. Does the pommes anard come with crepe, GFP 568 00:35:01,220 --> 00:35:03,320 French, exam and all? 569 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000 La la. 570 00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:07,500 Actually, pommes anard is a potato dish. 571 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:08,880 Mm -hm. 572 00:35:12,490 --> 00:35:13,490 And for madame? 573 00:35:13,650 --> 00:35:15,390 Oh, she's not eating. 574 00:35:15,870 --> 00:35:17,330 Who? Her dad. 575 00:35:18,130 --> 00:35:21,390 Yes. No, that's, um, your point. 576 00:35:22,450 --> 00:35:24,130 Yeah, I just, I forget sometimes. 577 00:35:25,210 --> 00:35:26,210 But you know what? 578 00:35:26,850 --> 00:35:27,850 I never had lobster. 579 00:35:29,570 --> 00:35:30,570 I think I'd have that. 580 00:35:31,230 --> 00:35:32,650 Not for 28 quid, you wouldn't. 581 00:35:33,770 --> 00:35:34,689 No, of course. 582 00:35:34,690 --> 00:35:35,750 It'd be a waste, wouldn't it? 583 00:35:36,730 --> 00:35:37,730 Very prudent. 584 00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:39,970 Good. 585 00:35:40,620 --> 00:35:41,800 It's a full moon tonight. 586 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,240 How many werewolves are there in this country? 587 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,900 About 35 registered. 588 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,680 We estimate the same number again, unknown and at large. 589 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,680 All those monsters out there right now. 590 00:35:56,940 --> 00:35:58,440 Makes your blood run cold. 591 00:35:59,620 --> 00:36:02,320 With your department gone, there'll be nothing to stop them. 592 00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:08,220 It's only a matter of time before one attacks, I don't know, a party of girl 593 00:36:08,220 --> 00:36:10,140 guides out camping. 594 00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,020 And then they'll be begging you to return. 595 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:18,280 I don't doubt it. It'll be too late, though, for the poor little blighters 596 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,760 their faces ripped off. 597 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:26,020 If only the powers that be could get a taste of the chaos they're about to 598 00:36:26,020 --> 00:36:28,600 create. I've tried something like that already. 599 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:38,480 Last month, I filmed a vampire killing members of his own family. 600 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,380 I thought if the minister could see what they were capable of. 601 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:44,720 What did he say? 602 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:49,840 This is within allowable parameters of carnage. 603 00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:52,780 How many does he want? 604 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,660 Well, that's a very interesting question. 605 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,900 How many does he want? 606 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,440 I'm not sure you can put a figure on it. He clearly thinks you can. 607 00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:04,200 Well, four, ten, dozen? 608 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:06,320 I don't know. 609 00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:09,160 Major policy shift. 610 00:37:11,210 --> 00:37:12,210 Ten, minimum. 611 00:37:12,370 --> 00:37:15,430 But the point is... That's the problem, isn't it? 612 00:37:16,090 --> 00:37:19,910 Yes, you want to keep it to a minimum, of course, but you can't arrange 613 00:37:19,910 --> 00:37:20,910 something like that. 614 00:37:22,010 --> 00:37:26,590 You can't choose how many people they have it. You can't contain them in that 615 00:37:26,590 --> 00:37:27,590 way. 616 00:37:31,170 --> 00:37:32,170 What is it, sir? 617 00:37:33,450 --> 00:37:34,450 Nothing. 618 00:37:35,050 --> 00:37:36,050 It's a stupid idea. 619 00:37:36,350 --> 00:37:37,450 Well, I won't tell, sir. 620 00:37:38,550 --> 00:37:41,170 The sanctity of the confessional and all that. 621 00:37:43,810 --> 00:37:45,310 The two werewolves here. 622 00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:48,370 One is going to the wood. 623 00:37:49,370 --> 00:37:53,490 The other... to his companion, Thala. 624 00:37:53,750 --> 00:37:54,750 Ah. 625 00:37:55,730 --> 00:37:58,850 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I see where you're going. 626 00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:01,390 He would not make it. 627 00:38:01,610 --> 00:38:02,610 No, no, no. 628 00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:04,650 Forget it. 629 00:38:05,070 --> 00:38:07,050 Widows and sales reps. 630 00:38:09,190 --> 00:38:10,630 It's them or the girl guys. 631 00:38:15,650 --> 00:38:16,650 Right, here's the keys. 632 00:38:17,150 --> 00:38:18,910 We're going to get going in the next ten minutes, to be safe. 633 00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:20,169 Good luck. 634 00:38:20,170 --> 00:38:21,170 Thanks, Tom. 635 00:38:21,790 --> 00:38:22,790 Flat. 636 00:38:26,230 --> 00:38:27,230 Tastes like piss. 637 00:38:28,230 --> 00:38:30,110 Oh, I'll get you something else. 638 00:38:31,010 --> 00:38:33,990 We have a wide selection of bottled beers. Bottled beer? 639 00:38:34,570 --> 00:38:37,170 Do I look like a Spaniard? Change the barrel. 640 00:38:38,730 --> 00:38:40,670 Unless you want something better to do. 641 00:38:41,230 --> 00:38:43,270 No, that's fine. 642 00:39:11,980 --> 00:39:12,980 High five. 643 00:39:19,500 --> 00:39:20,500 Hello? 644 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:24,320 Hello? 645 00:39:25,900 --> 00:39:27,260 Help, please. Hello? 646 00:39:28,060 --> 00:39:30,660 The door's shut on me. You've got to let me out. 647 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,120 I've got to be somewhere very important. 648 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,540 Please. Please open the door. Please. 649 00:39:38,900 --> 00:39:39,900 Please. 650 00:39:40,660 --> 00:39:41,660 Please. 651 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:55,460 If you want to repel an enemy horde or ward off a spell from an evil warlock, 652 00:39:55,580 --> 00:39:56,720 what do you do? 653 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,140 Phone a friend. I don't know. You use your amulet. 654 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:03,920 It's like you're not listening. 655 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:07,500 Can I get you anything else? 656 00:40:07,940 --> 00:40:09,600 No, we are great. 657 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:12,760 Tell me more about Flaming Dort. 658 00:40:13,580 --> 00:40:14,580 Whatever. 659 00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:17,300 Well, just call me if there is. 660 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:27,760 So what's going on? 661 00:40:29,460 --> 00:40:30,460 What? 662 00:40:35,580 --> 00:40:37,640 Hal's just having a little bit of a crisis. 663 00:40:37,940 --> 00:40:44,000 I just want to prove to him that people like us can still go the normal way, you 664 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:49,780 know, like go for dinner, talk about nothing. Right. 665 00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:52,120 That makes sense. 666 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,860 See, I thought you were here because you liked me. 667 00:40:56,330 --> 00:40:57,330 No, it's all right. 668 00:40:57,890 --> 00:40:59,610 It's all just plotted into play. 669 00:40:59,990 --> 00:41:02,750 Wait, I'm not explaining this very well. 670 00:41:03,070 --> 00:41:04,410 You gave me a look earlier. 671 00:41:05,930 --> 00:41:09,270 I've not been on many dates, but they both gave me that same look. 672 00:41:09,570 --> 00:41:12,750 Sort of irritation and pity. 673 00:41:13,950 --> 00:41:17,310 I thought you'd been paranoid, Ian. You're one of the undead now. 674 00:41:17,730 --> 00:41:19,030 Things must be different. 675 00:41:20,050 --> 00:41:22,410 No, Dead Hazel was right. 676 00:41:23,010 --> 00:41:24,910 Some stuff follows you everywhere. 677 00:41:25,580 --> 00:41:28,800 No, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that... You don't even see me. 678 00:41:29,380 --> 00:41:30,420 You just see him. 679 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:32,760 You're not the one who's invisible! 680 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,240 What shall we have for dessert? 681 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:43,980 I think I'll have profiteroles. 682 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:45,640 Why don't you? 683 00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:47,540 Go on. 684 00:41:48,820 --> 00:41:50,980 I'm so fucking profiteroles! 685 00:41:55,750 --> 00:41:57,890 Hello? What's the webber like where you are? 686 00:41:58,250 --> 00:41:59,250 Bobby, you all right, mate? 687 00:41:59,410 --> 00:42:03,890 Well, um, I managed to change a beer barrel, but now I'm locked in the barrel 688 00:42:03,890 --> 00:42:05,850 room. It's okay, though. What? 689 00:42:06,450 --> 00:42:09,610 Look, Bobby, it's not soundproof. Someone will hear you. They'll come 690 00:43:22,830 --> 00:43:23,830 For the greater good. 691 00:43:28,230 --> 00:43:29,230 Freak hot, Brad. 692 00:43:30,570 --> 00:43:32,050 Let's go and see what's going on. 693 00:43:32,790 --> 00:43:34,610 Anyone got 50 pence for the meter? 694 00:43:39,370 --> 00:43:40,410 Is that your stomach? 695 00:43:40,810 --> 00:43:41,810 Oh, my God. 696 00:43:42,830 --> 00:43:43,830 Robbie? 697 00:43:44,430 --> 00:43:45,430 Robbie? 698 00:43:53,580 --> 00:43:54,780 Huffling the eye at them. 699 00:43:56,700 --> 00:43:57,860 Everyone stay calm. 700 00:43:58,940 --> 00:44:00,300 Just a stray from outside. 701 00:44:31,549 --> 00:44:34,330 First of all, Wes, there's no one in those rooms. I'm not staying here as 702 00:44:34,850 --> 00:44:36,790 Keep them between us and don't let them see you're scared. 703 00:44:37,710 --> 00:44:38,790 Bobby, this way. 704 00:44:39,690 --> 00:44:41,890 I can't. I can't. I'm going to leave Bobby to the guests. 705 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:01,080 Fuck them! 706 00:46:02,410 --> 00:46:03,830 I should go and see what's happened. 707 00:46:04,030 --> 00:46:06,810 Them. You've got to do something about them. 708 00:46:07,490 --> 00:46:08,670 Hal and Tom. 709 00:46:08,890 --> 00:46:09,930 They'll ruin everything. 710 00:46:10,470 --> 00:46:14,450 We'll never have the chaos we need while they're around. I think we should try a 711 00:46:14,450 --> 00:46:16,690 different approach. Tom, go back now! 712 00:46:17,170 --> 00:46:18,970 You've unlocked the door. 713 00:46:19,530 --> 00:46:22,270 You've made your choice, you dab already, boy. 714 00:46:22,490 --> 00:46:24,270 Soaked in blood, you just don't know it. 715 00:46:25,390 --> 00:46:26,390 Oh. 716 00:46:26,990 --> 00:46:27,990 Oh. 717 00:46:28,470 --> 00:46:30,910 I'm so sorry, Mr Rockwell. 718 00:46:31,850 --> 00:46:33,910 I do apologize. Please forgive me. 719 00:46:35,110 --> 00:46:37,270 It's just maybe our only chance. 720 00:46:38,810 --> 00:46:40,250 We haven't finished our game. 721 00:46:43,130 --> 00:46:44,150 What did you have? 722 00:46:56,130 --> 00:46:57,170 Ah, the jersey. 723 00:46:57,970 --> 00:46:58,970 Very good. 724 00:46:59,190 --> 00:47:00,190 Hard to do. 725 00:47:01,580 --> 00:47:02,580 They're not both. 726 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:11,220 Do you think Tom will be okay? 727 00:47:12,060 --> 00:47:15,320 If he had the wherewithal to protect me, we just have to hope he can look after 728 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:16,320 Bobby. 729 00:47:20,660 --> 00:47:21,660 Faith. 730 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:23,200 Hopefully not one. 731 00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:36,280 Isn't this nice? 732 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,800 You do make a handsome couple. 733 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:45,840 Dick, really, shut up, all right? If a human fancies another human, then they 734 00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:46,840 send a flirty text. 735 00:47:47,780 --> 00:47:53,220 So is using and humiliating someone else a supernatural thing? 736 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:55,800 Because I'm still getting to grips with it all. 737 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,780 Look, you've got completely the wrong idea about our relationship. 738 00:47:59,220 --> 00:48:03,580 I'm frightened and humiliated, and it's making me thirsty. 739 00:48:04,570 --> 00:48:05,570 I need to go home now! 740 00:48:07,370 --> 00:48:08,490 That's the first pipe. 741 00:48:09,430 --> 00:48:10,430 Use the surface. 742 00:48:11,590 --> 00:48:15,410 Until it's mended, the whole of West Block is out of commission. 743 00:48:15,710 --> 00:48:17,570 So move any guests to East Block. 744 00:48:19,530 --> 00:48:22,690 No, no, no. Don't let anyone enter West Block. Do you understand? 745 00:48:24,290 --> 00:48:25,290 Okay. 746 00:48:25,710 --> 00:48:26,710 Look, 747 00:48:27,330 --> 00:48:31,150 there's something I need to... I'll be back in 20 minutes. 748 00:48:35,020 --> 00:48:36,660 The bloodlust will spike. 749 00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:42,940 Occasionally, it's perfectly normal, especially at times of stress, such as a 750 00:48:42,940 --> 00:48:43,940 werewolf attack. 751 00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,160 I'll strap you in the chair overnight. 752 00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,560 You'll be absolutely fine. It's true, then. 753 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:50,840 You and Alex. 754 00:48:51,820 --> 00:48:53,420 It doesn't matter what we feel. 755 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:58,820 The situation... Look, Ian, it's been a long night. 756 00:49:00,060 --> 00:49:01,060 We'll talk tomorrow. 757 00:49:02,020 --> 00:49:03,020 Lead on, Murdoch. 758 00:49:42,670 --> 00:49:43,690 Have they locked us up again? 759 00:49:43,950 --> 00:49:44,990 That's right, mate. You were at the hotel. 760 00:49:46,230 --> 00:49:47,590 Did we kill anyone? 761 00:49:48,090 --> 00:49:49,290 No. It was close. 762 00:49:49,950 --> 00:49:50,950 Look, I'm sorry. 763 00:49:51,390 --> 00:49:53,410 We should have made sure you were safely locked up at home. 764 00:49:54,890 --> 00:49:57,770 You got here in the end. Yeah, but I shouldn't have had to. 765 00:49:59,210 --> 00:50:00,210 It's not just that. 766 00:50:00,710 --> 00:50:04,950 I might have exaggerated a bit about some of the things that I've done. 767 00:50:05,630 --> 00:50:10,390 Like, I weren't engaged to Vanessa May and he ain't got a Commonwealth medal in 768 00:50:10,390 --> 00:50:11,390 the discus. 769 00:50:11,950 --> 00:50:15,270 I just had it to impress you, not... I thought it was much. 770 00:50:16,190 --> 00:50:17,450 You didn't need to, though. 771 00:50:18,390 --> 00:50:20,570 I thought you was brilliant as soon as I met you. 772 00:50:21,090 --> 00:50:22,510 Really? Yeah. 773 00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:25,250 You had me at hotel and leisure management. 774 00:50:28,990 --> 00:50:29,990 Thanks, Bobby. 775 00:50:30,970 --> 00:50:31,970 Huh. 776 00:50:32,170 --> 00:50:33,310 I thought I heard voices. 777 00:50:33,930 --> 00:50:35,210 Should I come back in a minute? 778 00:50:35,550 --> 00:50:36,550 Get off me, Bobby. 779 00:50:37,450 --> 00:50:38,730 Inside. Always keep it inside. 780 00:50:41,660 --> 00:50:45,020 It's a fresh start. I'm going to go to night school. I'm going to get some O 781 00:50:45,020 --> 00:50:46,900 -levels. I'm going to do a first aid course. 782 00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,540 I'm going to learn a new language. And Tom said I can stay here with you 783 00:50:50,540 --> 00:50:51,540 permanently. 784 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,640 Oh, and decided when, exactly? 785 00:50:55,180 --> 00:50:57,380 I just thought it would be a nice surprise. 786 00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:58,800 Certainly is that. 787 00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:04,480 Do me a favour. Let me know when you're telling Hal. There is no way I'm missing 788 00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,640 that. Speaking of Hal, actually, should you not be back by now? 789 00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:09,280 He must have got held up at home. 790 00:51:10,210 --> 00:51:11,990 I'll go and check. We need some new clothes anyway. 791 00:51:12,370 --> 00:51:13,370 Good. I'll come with you. 792 00:51:14,550 --> 00:51:18,050 Right, Bobby, you're in charge, mate, yeah? It's still early, so just man the 793 00:51:18,050 --> 00:51:19,790 phones and let Gretchen take care of breakfast. 794 00:51:20,330 --> 00:51:21,330 Yeah? Right. 795 00:51:27,310 --> 00:51:28,310 I can do this. 796 00:51:33,830 --> 00:51:34,830 Oi! 797 00:51:35,890 --> 00:51:36,890 Rintintin! 798 00:51:43,470 --> 00:51:46,130 I'm sorry, sir. I can't hear you. Come closer. 799 00:51:56,550 --> 00:51:57,850 Wake you, Lord Powell. 800 00:51:58,590 --> 00:52:00,650 It's not like you need the beauty sleep, is it? 801 00:52:03,270 --> 00:52:04,410 Not nice, is it? 802 00:52:05,150 --> 00:52:07,810 Waking up in here, not sure whether you've been bummed or not. 803 00:52:08,130 --> 00:52:09,038 What do you want? 804 00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,780 Oh, you want to feel helpless and alone. 805 00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:16,360 All this time you've been trying to turn me into you. Well, I want to see what 806 00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,780 my world is like. I haven't been trying to turn you into anything. I just wanted 807 00:52:19,780 --> 00:52:22,620 to remind you of the life you had, the life you can have again. 808 00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:26,700 A life I had until you turned me into a vampire like you. 809 00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:34,280 Trump, you need to let me out. That was a laugh. But then back you came and said 810 00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:37,360 I had to be all clean and tidy like you. Listen to me. 811 00:52:37,790 --> 00:52:38,790 I'm not feeling. 812 00:52:40,990 --> 00:52:42,390 Crumb, he's coming. Let me out. 813 00:52:42,670 --> 00:52:44,090 I'll never be like you. 814 00:52:44,310 --> 00:52:45,830 I'll never look like you. 815 00:52:46,090 --> 00:52:48,610 I'll never have the things you had. Never have, Alex. 816 00:52:48,850 --> 00:52:49,850 You think I will? 817 00:52:50,130 --> 00:52:53,950 You think I can ever allow myself to love someone ever again? I'm 818 00:52:54,130 --> 00:52:57,430 I killed and destroyed everyone I ever cared about. Crumb, let me out. 819 00:52:58,290 --> 00:53:00,810 What are you doing? 820 00:53:02,250 --> 00:53:03,250 Al? 821 00:53:14,860 --> 00:53:16,520 Thought you'd lost your reflection, didn't you? 822 00:53:17,240 --> 00:53:18,780 Well, take a good look, boy. 823 00:53:20,100 --> 00:53:21,100 This is you. 824 00:53:21,780 --> 00:53:22,780 This is us. 825 00:53:23,720 --> 00:53:26,100 We're not cars. We are the cars. 826 00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:28,740 You said I could have a life again. 827 00:53:29,060 --> 00:53:30,060 You lied. 828 00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:34,080 You might get ten, twenty, or even fifty years. 829 00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:37,860 If you're lucky enough to try, but it won't last. 830 00:53:38,700 --> 00:53:41,800 It'll find you. It always finds you. 831 00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,340 He was here, wasn't he? 832 00:53:57,140 --> 00:54:00,660 Every day he's getting nearer, like a tidal wave. 833 00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:02,240 It's not long now. 834 00:54:03,740 --> 00:54:04,880 Don't destroy everything. 835 00:54:06,020 --> 00:54:07,540 Is that going to be me one day? 836 00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,080 It's the waiting I can't stand. 837 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:16,480 The fight between good and bad. I just want it to stop. 838 00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:20,580 I bet you can relate to that. 839 00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:32,500 Fate's hand. 840 00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,480 Let's cut to the last chapter. 841 00:54:40,500 --> 00:54:44,240 Drink the werewolf blood and you save yourself. 842 00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:46,060 Save everyone else. 843 00:54:46,660 --> 00:54:51,900 Drink the human blood and you become that monster again. 844 00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,080 But good and proper. 845 00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:19,040 Well, if I expected you to eat me then, I might fight. 846 00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:22,320 Exactly. 847 00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:30,080 Do you like the choice? 848 00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:47,720 Cheers. 849 00:55:50,620 --> 00:55:51,620 Yeah, 850 00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:54,840 he does. 851 00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:57,060 Are you kidding me? 852 00:56:03,720 --> 00:56:04,780 Let I win? 853 00:56:23,470 --> 00:56:24,470 What's going on? 854 00:56:24,810 --> 00:56:26,070 How are you going to drink that? 855 00:56:26,630 --> 00:56:27,630 I don't know. 856 00:56:32,110 --> 00:56:33,110 I really don't know. 857 00:56:35,170 --> 00:56:36,170 Bobby! 858 00:56:36,970 --> 00:56:37,970 Bobby! 859 00:56:58,220 --> 00:56:59,220 Thank you for doing this. 860 00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,280 I'm sorry, I know it must have... My department is closed. 861 00:57:02,940 --> 00:57:07,300 You don't know how many favours I had to call in for this and to cover up that 862 00:57:07,300 --> 00:57:09,740 mess last night. I think we're quick on favour. 863 00:57:14,660 --> 00:57:15,900 I don't want it to be done. 864 00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:17,700 You were so happy. 865 00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:20,060 You weren't worried to moving in, were you? 866 00:57:21,020 --> 00:57:22,020 It was what? 867 00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:25,320 It would have been great fun. 868 00:57:25,620 --> 00:57:26,620 My fault. 869 00:57:27,100 --> 00:57:29,460 With the shock last night, I should have made sure he got home safe. 870 00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:40,419 Maybe feelings. 871 00:58:40,420 --> 00:58:41,480 What things? 872 00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:43,400 Feelings. Wait. 873 00:58:43,620 --> 00:58:45,260 We must have left her to stop. 874 00:58:45,820 --> 00:58:46,920 So was you tonight. 875 00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:52,440 Every time I think I know who you are, it turns out I'm wrong. 876 00:58:53,100 --> 00:58:54,600 Usually because someone's dead. 60420

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