All language subtitles for Stars On Mars.S01E05_Track03

Shatner: Previously on
"Stars On Mars"...

We have another dog!

Ariel: The Rad Dogs
are essential for us.

This roach that's
on the floor...

You better get the
away from me, Lance.

That was not a good choice.

- Yeah! Let's go!
- Bye, mother fungus!

Say hello to my little friend.

Ronda: The final crewmember
who is mission critical-- Adam.

Computer:
Natasha and Tom,

leave the Hab immediately.

Bye-bye.

- Alert.
- Emergency!

- What did I miss?
- Resupply.

- Crew aboard, four.
- Four?

We have four new people
coming to Mars.

- Are you serious?
- Shatner: Tonight...

I've pissed off
way too many people.

I can divide a room.
I'm not for everybody.

- Oh!
- Whoa!

I definitely am side-eyeing
whoever's coming in here.

They're gonna have
to prove themselves.

We all have to watch our backs.

They have to be top tier
from the beginning.

Adam: Oh, my God,
that door is so slow.

This is "Stars On Mars."

Adam: Yesterday
was an emotional day.

People I got close to left.

It feels really different
without them here.

But we have four new people
coming to Mars.

I'm really looking forward

to having all of this brand new
energy in the Hab.

Morning.

Computer:
Good morning, stars.

It's a quiet morning
in the Hab, Adam.

It is. I struggled a bit
this morning to get up.

And I only did it
because I like you so much.

I am your analysis device
and constant companion,

and if I had feelings,
I might like you, too.

You got it, girl.
This AI's getting real cheeky this morning.

Ariel:
That's a triple 15.

A six. And 19,

so you have 70.

And in the lead
out of Plano, Texas,

Lance Armstrong!

Ariel: Lance and I are
incredibly different people.

We do not mesh at all,

but we all really do want to
stay in the experiment.

- Uh, 11?
- That sucks.

- Marshawn: 7.
- Lance is super competitive.

- Lance: Ah, it's so bad!
- Ariel: 29. It's not bad.

And I kind of will
take a backseat to that.

I am not as aggressive
about it,

whereas he likes
to push buttons.

You really think
you're five feet tall?

- I'm 5'1".
- No, you're not.

My sister's 5-foot.
She's shorter than me.

And Natasha was here.

It's safe to say
that we're not friends.

Don't-- Ariel,
I know you don't like me.

Don't throw the thing yet.

- Who said I don't like you?
- That's a headshot.

Ariel:
I don't know who said that.

- If I get my number, I win.
- Mm-hmm.

Ah, crap. Oh, that's fine.
That's fine. That's fine.

Ariel's this little tyrant
in here.

You know, there are folks
you connect with

and there are other ones
that you don't connect with.

You know,
the polar opposites.

But that's the nature
of my life.

- Yes, I got it. I won.
- Oh!

Hopefully whoever comes
is clean and not dirty.

Yeah, 'cause I thought
we were clean, but then we just lost it.

We were clean, but we did
the dirtiest mission first,

so it just made everything dirty
right away.

Listen, I've been
living with these people 24/7 for eight days at this point.

We have a good game plan now,

so thinking about
somebody coming in here and shaking the table,

they're gonna have
to prove themselves.

What if one of them is a chef?

- What if it's Rachael Ray?
- Oh!

Oh, my gosh,
I am really excited to find out who is it? Who is it?

Gordon Ramsay
walks in this bitch?

He would walk right out.
What would they cook with?

We have no stove,
we have no oven.

Listen, the space food here
is getting pretty critical.

I'll tell you how good
the food is.

- Look how skinny we getting.
- So skinny.

Porsha: I am so glad
we got this resupply on the way to Mars.

I want the necessities.

So, I want butter,
and I definitely want cheese.

Cheese. Cheese.
I just want cheese.

Maybe they'll send a politician.

I feel like
if anybody comes in here

that's anyone's enemy,
I would easily turn on them

because I'm friends
with y'all now.

- We're space fam.
- Space fam.

Right now I think Porsha is
the most influential in the Hab

'cause I think she breaks down
those barriers

of feeling
like there's cliques.

Porsha still has the ability
to talk to anyone,

and be pretty democratic.

This is the best place
to have an enemy come though.

It's like being able to catch
an enemy in an alley.

Martian law.

I'm noticing the different
cliques within the Hab.

The athletes,
Ronda, Lance, and Marshawn,

are definitely standing up
for one another

in a way that
I wasn't necessary expecting.

Find a rhythm first.

Let's get a rhythm.
There we go. We got it.

Oh, that one.

I guess the people I feel
most comfortable with

are just by default
the athletes here.

Homegirl.

That would kill somebody.

Put the pads up.

Now give me one to the chin.

So the good thing is
is now I have my support system

to kind of lean back on
when we have new people here.

- All right, all right.
- Wanna switchie?

- Wanna take a few?
- No, no.

I need a break.

- Okay.
- That's intense.

- It's fun, huh?
- Now I can punch at you?

- No, you can hold.
- No, that's what you here for.

A punching bag.

- You try this pita?
- Uh-uh.

Tastes like
a Goodyear tire.

So I did a podcast a month ago,
and this guy wanted to ask me

about transgender stuff
in sports. - Mm-hmm.

And I said, "Listen,
one of my most key employees,

they're transitioning.

I have no problem with that.
I love it. Let's go."

And I said to the guy
on the podcast, I said,

"Listen, this is real simple.

You wanna transition?
Let's do it.

You have your own category."

We're gonna have
a whole new division.

We'll celebrate you just like
we celebrate everybody else.

Let's go.
What's unfair about that?

To me, I think
we just have to care about if you other-ize people,

it's not good
for their mental health. - Do what?

- Like, other-ize people.
- What's that mean?

Kinda like exclude them
from the same spaces

and places
that everyone else is.

Actually, no,
we're not excluding anybody.

By the way, I sound like
a right wing lunatic. I'm not.

I'm the most liberal person.

But from
a sporting perspective...

Tinashe: I wasn't really
shocked to hear his opinions,

but I definitely didn't think
that he should be the spokesperson for that.

You're ostracizing the people
who don't fit in the categories.

You might not agree with me,
and I might not agree with you,

but that's okay, right?

And there's a
lot of sensitive subjects,

and it's not just trans issues
and trans in sports.

It could be abortion,
it could be war,

it could be gun violence,
it could be poli--

anything, global warming.

But if you can't feel safe
to enter into the conversation,

then we've a lot lost.

That is so disheartening.

It really is.

Those comments here
in this experiment

have completely
shifted the energy

and have completely
shifted the focus,

and I will not ever forget them.

That's not the conversation
you need to be having here.

Lance: It's not--
what are you talking about?

You're not at you're
kitchen table.

My view is my view
until proven differently.

If this discussion
gets to a place

where a room
of the brightest scientists

and medical experts
and everything else

can say 100% without a doubt

that it's a level
playing field for this issue,

then we're fine.

It's way more nuanced
than what he was making...

Way more nuanced.

For these trans girls
to compete in sports,

they need to be on these
testosterone blockers for years.

For a long time, to where
their actual hormone levels...

...their testosterone levels
will be below other biological female women.

Right. Correct, correct.

I don't understand why you would
ever bring this up in here.

Well, I pissed off
way too many people.

Ariel: When you're stuck
in a Hab with people that you don't know,

that most likely don't agree
with you,

yeah, I am not able
to let that go.

Life on Mars will
definitely improve slightly

if whoever comes in here
has a good vibe.

That is always welcome.

- Wow.
- Shatner: Coming up...

Adam: We've gotta save
those celeb-ronauts.

Yeah, Speed!

Marshawn:
Push the red button.

Whoa!

Computer: Capsule
oxygen levels critical.

Porsha: Who is it?
Who is it?

Arf, arf.

Arf, arf, arf.

Arf, arf.

Who should be the new B. C.?
Base commander.

I mean, I always think that
Ariel should be base commander.

I'd love to be base commander
at a certain point,

but we'll see
what everyone wants. I don't care.

Everyone remaining in this Hab
is extremely competitive.

Some people play it cool.

Some people are like,
"Oh, I'm not competitive.

I don't really care
about being here."

But at the end of the day,
you can see it in their eyes.

I'd like to see Porsha be
base commander, too. Just--

Yeah. No, she'd be awesome.

Ariel: We are so weirded out
that more people are coming in here,

and it's a little more
of a strategic vibe.

I'm very excited to do
the job of a base commander.

I'm also-- I mean,
of course, excited to be safe.

- Who should be B. C.?
- Oh, I don't know who.

I think one of y'all
should be B. C.

- Okay.
- And then we go from there.

But, like,
just think about it. - So what do you think?

If I'm B. C.,
there's no way either of you

are in the bottom three.

Adam: I think the game
is really changing

'cause we have
four potential people joining us here in the Hab,

but I have no idea
who the new crew might be.

So did I think it was time

to pull out a little bit
of strategy? I did.

Tinashe is in it,
and I love Porsha,

so I'd love to make it all
the way with her and Tinashe.

That would be a fab three,
for sure.

All these base commanders have
been really hand-picking those three people.

- It's a lot of power.
- It's a lot of power.

- I wanna do it.
- Okay.

- You do?
- Adam: Yeah.

I'd vote for you.

- I'm ready to play.
- Game on.

I absolutely do not
do alliances.

I know for a fact
alliances ruin things.

We three click
really, really well,

so of course you wanna keep
the person here,

but we aren't standing
against anybody else.

We're just standing
for each other.

Computer: Incoming message.

It is time to choose
a new base commander.

It's time I whip this crew
into shape.

Okay, I think I would be
a good base commander.

I think you'd be
a great base commander.

I think that
I'm a good communicator. - Agreed.

Adam: I think I can be
clear and concise. - Okay.

- I can think quick on my feet.
- Mm-hmm.

So I think I'm ready
to buckle down

and take us to Mars.

- Okay!
- I'm for it.

- Keep us on Mars.
- I'm in.

Best base commander
speech ever! - Adam, Adam, Adam!

- Yes, Adam.
- Right?

I have gotten to stay back
two times in a row now,

and I just felt
like it wasn't right, wasn't fair to the team,

so I wasn't going to push.

I feel like there's
going to be a great chance

to take up the job
of base commander after Adam.

Computer: Adam, your
first job as base commander

is to assign the base duties.

It's really important to me
as base commander

to make sure that everyone
is on the same page.

We're going to send
some of the celeb-ronauts out to collect rock samples.

Computer: Collecting
and studying rock samples is crucial

to making important
scientific discoveries on Mars.

- I'm going outside.
- You want to? Okay, Marshawn.

- I wanna collect samples.
- You know I wanna go outside.

So I think rock samples,
Ronda and Marshawn,

are you good with the-- okay?

- Are you good?
- Red rocks!

Great. Let's do that.

It's fine.

Computer:
Ronda and Marshawn,

suit up and report
to the airlock.

Ronda: Another beautiful day
on the red planet collecting red rocks.

Did you know it's called
the red planet

because all the iron in the soil

got oxidized
and turned into rust?

So, what, is you like
the encyclopedia for Mars?

No, no, I just watched
a lot of YouTube.

We're looking
for anything that stands out or looks interesting.

When I was a little kid,
I wanted to be an archeologist.

Or I thought
it was archeologist,

but I really wanted
to be a geologist.

You know, you're a little kid.
You don't know the difference.

These ones look
kind of different.

Possibly volcanic in origin,
you know?

I tried not to nerd-out
on it too much

because I've been going,
like, super nerd this whole experiment.

I bet this is a kind of basalt.

Marshawn: She started spitting
some interesting facts.

I don't know what the hell
she was saying.

Something about the
intergalactic something something something.

I don't even know
what the hell was--

I just nodded my head like,
"Yep."

- I wanna check something out.
- Okay.

So it looked like
a little interesting space over here, right?

- What do you see over there?
- I don't know, but I'm breaking on the way.

Watch out. Those rocks
are not really stable.

- Oh!
- Careful! Oh!

- Oh, my God! I'm coming!
- Man down! Man down!

- Aah!
- Ronda!

I'm in distress!

I done bust my ass on Mars.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let me get stable. Hold tight.

- All right, ready? One, two--
- You got your feet right?

All right, all right.
Here we go.

Hey, don't even trip.

Look, just know
I'll always have your back.

Aw, I never doubt it
for a second.

Marshawn: Developing
a relationship with Ronda, I mean, it was pretty easy.

But, you know, something that
I didn't know about her

was just how down to earth
and how cool she is.

Aww, space hug.

That teammate love and
connection has always kind of been a safe place for me.

Are we making it to the end,
Marshawn?

Man, there's been
so many twist and turnys,

ups and downys,

I don't know-deez...

But I know that
the biggest challenges

facing me aren't physical.

They're mental and social.

With new people coming in,

that anxiety
is coming back anew.

I kind of have to
start all over again

getting know everybody,

and that's kind of the most
stressful part for me.

So if the new people
cause discord,

they're going right out
in the airlock.

I don't care.

Tinashe: All right,
everyone, I'm reading the key Mars facts.

A year on Mars is
approximately 687 Earth days.

Oh!
So we're gonna age up here. - A year takes longer.

Oh, is that why we're starting
to look better?

- Adam: Yeah.
- We're aging in reverse.

Gravity on Mars is 62% lower
than it is on Earth.

So if you're 200 pounds
on Earth,

you'll probably
only weigh 83 pounds. - Oh, I like that.

So not only were younger,
we're getting skinnier. - We're getting younger.

I love this.

Arf, arf.

Arf, arf.

Arf.

Emergency,
emergency, emergency!

Computer: Incoming message
from mission control.

What did I miss?

- It's an emergency!
- Right.

Porsha:
Okay, where is Marshawn? Marshawn!

Hello again, crew.
We have an emergency.

A resupply craft
with four new crewmembers has gone off course,

crashed in the Martian desert.

To make matters worse,
it's split in half

causing two nuclear canisters
to break free.

If you don't act quickly,
the radiation will destroy

your much needed supplies
and spread to the habitat,

putting the mission
in grave danger.

Locate the downed craft,
rescue your new celeb-ronauts,

and safely destroy
the radioactive canisters

before it's too late.

I'm downloading
all of the information for your base commander.

This mission
will test your ingenuity

and will earn you
a mission patch.

Base commander,
pick your mission specialist.

Good luck out there, crew.
You're gonna need it.

All right,
so it sounds like that ship

of four people
coming in crashed.

And there's radioactivity.

You've got to bury
that in the ground.

It feels like a serious mission,

but you guys feel
like serious people.

I love this pep talk.

I think at this point
in the experiment,

you need to have
a little strategy.

I'm not ashamed of it.

Porsha, I would love for you
to be my mission specialist.

- What? What?
- Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech.

I am so shocked.

I wasn't even prepared,
so I don't really have a speech

'cause I don't know that
he was gonna choose me. But...

Oh, I love to strategize.
I love it all day.

I mean, what else
the hell I'm gonna think about all day on Mars, okay?

I wanna first thank Ronda.

You have gotten me ready
for this role.

You've been getting me out
and punching me every day,

and I really do appreciate it.

I wasn't expecting
an acceptance speech.

Did I love it? Every second.

To our base commander,
stay fabulous,

and get this group
back from the mission.

- Absolutely.
- Ronda: That's a great speech.

- Great speech.
- Ah, wonderful.

Porsha:
Adam and I are gonna do really good as a team.

He's gonna go through
all of those things--

science or whatever
you gotta remember--

and I will execute.

I do wanna give a warning.

This mission is before
we bring in the four people.

We, in this room, have been
charged with the mission

- to go get them.
- Right.

Meaning one of us
is maybe going home

in the place
of those four people.

But let's really,
really show up

for the original team
on this one.

Yeah.

I kind of have mixed feelings

about having more people here.

On one hand, it's like,
more people, more competition.

But on the other hand, I get
to rewear some of my outfits

because they didn't
get to see them.

Ariel:
Reporting for duty!

Adam: All right, team,
serious mission here.

We need to dispose
of those canisters.

We have to rescue four people
who have just crashed.

We have to save the mission.
You locked in. You look ready.

Your base commander
and your mission specialist,

we're here to guide you
all throughout the way.

Let's go do this.

And don't forget that!

Let's go.
We're with you all the way.

Ariel:
All right, bye, guys.

Adam:
Bye, guys. Good luck.

We love you. All the best.

Oof.

Just a little, you know.

Yes! Okay, they're out.

- They're out, we're in.
- We're in.

We gotta figure out
what to do.

Porsha, you know,
I'm seriously--

I think first things first,
I need to go

- finish curling my hair.
- Right.

I got my Mars curls.

I feel really good about it.
It's cute, right?

I mean, it's a little different
from down on Earth,

but it's still bomb.

They have a great attitude
this morning.

They do. They have
a great attitude, yes. - They really do. Right?

- And so do we. All right.
- Always, always.

- Let's go!
- Catch 'em!

Hit the gas! Get 'em!

This is an emergency, baby!

Hi, team, this is
your base commander. Porsha is here.

She's gonna be your main voice
and point of contact

during this mission
to keep communication clear.

Ay! Commando.

Oh, my gosh!
This is so cool!

Let's get this
started.

Computer: Warning,
low oxygen supply detected in the crashed aircraft.

Adam: There's canisters
that have fallen off of the aircraft.

Porsha: You are not
to approach the canisters.

The radioactivity
is harmful to us.

We have to
deactivate them first.

Guys, this mission
is 34 minutes and a half. Just letting you know.

Copy.

Porsha: Both teams
will have a Rad Dog,

which will be
Marsha or Eartha.

You're gonna direct the dogs
into where the canisters are.

Adam: You will have to hook
the Rad Dogs to the canister

and then drag it
to the nearby cave.

Porsha: Lance and Ronda, you
all are going to direct Marsha.

Eartha will be driven
by Tinashe and Ariel.

Computer: 34 minutes
and 30 seconds left before oxygen levels reach 0%.

Marshawn:
Oh, you got some C4, too.

We get to blow
some up today?

Once you get the dogs
into the cave, we'll be done,

because then we can detonate
the radioactive containers

- and it'll be safe.
- Copy.

I realized this was gonna be
harder than I anticipated.

If we don't succeed
in this mission,

I don't wanna see
any of our core seven go,

so these four people
could come in here

without proving
themselves worthy.

I think we're all feeling
a little bit nervous.

Adam:
The spacecraft headed here

with the extra rations
crashed.

So we need to save those
four new people coming here.

All right, Eartha,
let's go, baby.

Computer: Warning, capsule
oxygen levels critical.

20 minutes remaining.
Initiating phase one.

Find and destroy the
unstable nuclear canisters with the Rad Dogs.

- Base commander.
- Porsha: Yes, Ariel?

Is the canister in between
the very large, like,

Star Wars-looking thing
and the three boxes?

- Is the thing in the middle?
- Yes, it is.

Amazing.

Adam: You will have to hook
the Rad Dogs to the canister

and then drag it
to the nearby cave.

There's a lot at stake
for this resupply mission.

The lives of
these four celeb-ronauts

are on our hands
first and foremost.

And then secondly,

we need that new supplies
really badly.

So, obviously we have
to be successful.

Dude, all my life of gaming
and learning space,

it's just come to now.

I got handed
a PlayStation recorder

attached to an actual robot.

It was like
the clouds opened

and a beam of light
came through,

shined upon my face,
and said,

"Ronda, it is time."

Porsha:
Ronda, Lance is your eyes.

Lance, please tell Ronda
where to direct Marsha.

- Lance: Right, okay.
- Marshawn, you have eyes

- to help direct them.
- Ronda: Eartha's moving.

- Eartha's down by the wreckage.
- No, no, no. Just for the record,

- we are Marsha. We're Marsha.
- We're Marsha?

Yes, the vest
on our dog says Marsha. - Okay, sorry.

Lance: Ronda, you're close.

It's really difficult to see
out of these binoculars.

Okay, okay, okay,
whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

She's right over it.
Ronda, I would move up a little bit.

Can you go forward a little?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Back up, back up.

Ronda had a harder job

just 'cause it was hard
to maneuver the dog.

The dog needs to go
over the canister and it will hook itself.

- Lance: Oh!
- Marshawn: It's like the claw from "Toy Story."

- We got it.
- There you go. It's up.

- Oh, shoot!
- You got it, you got it, you got it.

- There we go, baby.
- Okay.

- Got it.
- We got it. We got the canister hooked.

Porsha: You can proceed
to the cave

so that she can be able
to set up to detonate.

Ronda:
Marsha's on her way.

Good work. Lance, Ronda,
excellent teamwork, guys. - Yes!

Computer: Capsule
oxygen levels critical.

15 minutes remaining.

Canister one detained.
One canister left.

Porsha: Eartha will be
driven by Tinashe. - Tinashe: Copy.

Porsha: Ariel,
you are going to have eyes

on the pathway for Eartha.

Marshawn, if you have
a better eye to assist them, please do so.

Ariel:
All right, Tinashe, you good?

- Tinashe: Yep.
- Okay, send Eartha straight downhill.

Yep.

- Is she moving now?
- Ariel: No.

Is she moving now?

Ariel: No.

- She's not moving anymore.
- Eartha is not moving.

So I'm gonna be honest.

I think Eartha
had a mind her own,

and she was trying
to avoid her duties.

- Tinashe.
- Yep.

- Tinashe.
- Yes?

- Tinashe.
- Yes! I'm literally right behind you.

Sorry, I can't hear you.
It's so hard to hear you.

Oh, Eartha's starting to move.

Eartha!
Eartha, keep going straight.

Curve a little bit to the right.

Eartha was having
a little bit of trouble today navigating the terrain.

She was walking a little bit
like she was drunk.

Ariel: She needs to go
to the other canister.

Other one. The small one.

Small canister.
Go, go. Turn around.

Other way. There.

Oh. Go a little bit more
to the right.

Okay, you can keep circling.

Marshawn:
Okay, you got it. It's lined up.

Ariel: Small canister
right to the left.

That Mario Kart
coming in handy, baby.

Tinashe, walk forward.
Tinashe, move forward.

- Marshawn: There you go.
- Ariel: Yes, yes, yes. Perfect.

Porsha:
Stop right there, Tinashe.

- Perfect.
- Drop down. Wait, stop.

Stop, Tinashe.

Down and wiggle, please.

- Uh-huh.
- I think you got it.

I think I've got it.

- Got it. She's got it.
- We're back.

Computer: Capsule oxygen
levels critical.

- Ten minutes remaining.
- Marshawn: Go straight.

Porsha:
Keep it forward, team.

- Okay, there you go.
- To the right.

Is that the entrance
right there?

- Adam: Yep.
- Both: Yes!

- All right.
- You got it, baby!

She's in there!

- Yes, team! Great work!
- You did it!

- Yes!
- You did it. Great work.

Both dogs are in.
We're about to secure it, blast off the cave.

I think that
it's a clear testament

to everybody working together

that we got that Rad Dog
down to the cave

to detonate
those radioactive canisters.

This will be the last time

that we touch or see
Eartha and Marsha.

They are sacrificing
themselves today.

Aww.

Yes, you won't see them anymore.

Thank you, Eartha.
We love you. - We love you.

I will name a crater that's over
40 kilometers wide after you.

- Godspeed.
- We love you guys.

Computer: Marshawn, get ready
to detonate the canisters.

Y'all ready to blow
some up?

Push the red button!

- Oh!
- Whoa.

Whoa!

- Let's go!
- That was serious.

- Whoo!
- Marsha!

Computer:
Phase one complete.

- Initiating phase two...
- You holding on, little mama?

Yep. We ready.

...rescuing the supplies
and new celeb-ronauts.

Porsha: All right, guys,
now I just need you to go down,

get your supplies,
and load it up.

Computer: Capsule oxygen
levels critical.

Two minutes remaining.

Perfect. Load it up.

Let's go get 'em.

Kind of have to, like,
start all over again

getting to know everybody.

Of course, you know,

there comes
my social anxiety again.

I'm like, "Oh, my God.
New people! Aah!"

Porsha: Who is it?
Who is it?

Let's see.

Oh, my God, that door
is so freaking slow. - It is.

What I'm hoping is that I meet
some likeminded individuals

who are down
for a wild experiment.

- Hey, guys, you all right?
- Y'all found us!

- Come on out.
- Oh, man.

Watch your head!
Watch your head.

- Oh, man.
- Watch it.

- How's it going?
- I'm Lance.

- Lance, Paul.
- I see you.

Computer:
Celeb-ronaut one rescued.

Paul Pierce, NBA legend.

Ariel: I'm definitely excited
for new people to talk to.

I'm hoping that they're cool

and that they add to
the good vibes.

- Hi, Lance.
- Lance, Andy Richter. How are you?

Good to see you.

Computer:
Celeb-ronaut two rescued.

Andy Richter, comedian.

He was Conan O'Brien's
assistant.

- What up?
- Hi.

Hey. Ashley. Hey.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Celeb-ronaut three rescued.

Ashley Iaconetti,

"Bachelor" royalty.

Hey, Ashley.

I'm Cat. How are you?
Thanks for rescuing us.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Thank you.

Computer:
Celeb-ronaut four rescued.

Cat Cora, "Iron Chef."

Cat Cora! Yes!

- A chef? Yes, yes, yes!
- Yes!

Fortunately these four
new astronauts made it here,

And, for me personally,

it's cool to
get some new people

just to kind of mix up
the dynamic in the group.

I have a feeling it's going
to be very interesting.

All right, let's get you guys
back to the Hab.

Are we loading everyone up?

Who's driving?

Computer: All four
celeb-ronauts rescued.

Mission success.

I think there's been
some hesitance

towards new people
entering the Hab.

I feel like we're really
going to hit it off.

And I hope that we do,

or we're gonna be
in some serious.

- Here they go.
- I got it.

- We're back, base command!
- Hey, guys.

My message to
the new celeb-ronauts is I welcome you.

- Ooh!
- It's gotta be difficult entering this Hab

knowing that so many of us
have connected

for the past nine days,
24 hours a day.

Hey, guys, this is base command.
Can you hear us?

Can they hear us?
Hey, guys. Can you hear us?

Adam: Can you hear us?
We're inside.

Ariel: Guys, guys,
you can keep doing that,

but base commander's trying
to talk to us in here,

so let's listen to it
so that we can get our ass inside.

- Continue.
- The way she was talking to us in a real bossy kind of way,

I thought she came off
kind of firm and aggressive

and I really didn't like that.

So we're gonna go ahead
and bring in

our fresh celeb-ronauts.

You stale betties can stay
in there for a second.

Lance: Perfect.

Computer: Decontamination
in three, two, one.

- There we go.
- Whoo!

Hello, hello!
Nice power stance there.

Computer:
NBA legend detected.

Paul Pierce
of the Boston Celtics,

welcome to the Habitat.

It's good to be here.

I play professional sports.

How was it being locked
in that little thing?

That was a tough one.

I've never been in these type
of conditions in my life.

I was too big for that thing.

But I'm a survivor, man,

so I'm ready
for this challenge.

Porsha: Cat? Oh!
Welcome, welcome. - Whoo!

I hope you like bread,
and I hope you like ketchup.

- I can make magic with that.
- Okay, I believe in you.

You know what? Let her in.

Computer:
Decontaminating Cat Cora, celebrity chef.

Porsha: I'm excited
that she is a chef.

- Hey, I'm Adam.
- Hi, I'm Porsha.

- Welcome.
- Hi, Porsha.

Our Mars prayers
have been answered.

- Wow, this is so cool.
- Yeah, enjoy.

Computer:
Welcome, Cat Cora,

- first female Iron Chef.
- Okay.

Cat:
I wanna be the last person standing on Mars.

I wanna win this.

Computer:
Decontaminating.

It burns!

- Hi, guys.
- Welcome, welcome.

How are you?
Nice to see you.

Computer:
Welcome, Andy Richter,

sidekick of
the "Conan O'Brien Show."

- I don't want any fuss, okay?
- I love that.

- Both: No fuss.
- Good!

I'm a member of the team now.

Celebrities, we're not supposed
to be, like, space people.

We're supposed to look good,
throw and catch balls, sing.

I do all those things.

Computer: Decontamination
in three, two, one.

- Boom!
- Decontaminating. Decontaminating.

Decontaminating.

- Did they do that extra for me?
- Yes.

- Yeah, a little bit.
- You got two blasts.

Okay, I thought that was odd.

Welcome, "Bachelorette" star
Ashley Iaconetti.

They were really trying to
decontaminate you that time.

- But you look very clean.
- Yes!

Thanks. Thanks so much.

I'm glad to be here
in front of you, camera.

I feel very comfortable
with you.

I feel more comfortable
talking to you

than I feel with pretty much
everybody out there.

- So y'all met the crew in here?
- We did.

You met them for two seconds.
Who should we eliminate? - Oh, God.

Porsha: I'm just saying,
let's get it started already.

Adam: We'll just
take your word, yeah.

Whoever was giving
the command in there, that was pretty firm.

- Porsha: Oh, Ariel.
- She was firm-firm.

Like, she could've asked
a little more nicer to shut up.

- Yeah.
- But, I mean, but I guess when you a captain,

- you know, you gotta be firm.
- She's not the captain. He's the base commander.

Oh, not the captain? Aw, man.
Well, that was too firm for me.

- And you're agreeing.
- I knew who he was talking about though.

Well, I knew who
he was talking about, too, but I was too scared to say it.

- Nah, I'ma say it.
- I'm not voting for anybody. I just got here.

I'm here to make friends.

Watching new celebrities
running the Hab,

I was definitely feeling
kind of protective

over my little family unit
that we've created here

because potentially another
extraction could happen here.

Shatner!

Computer: Incoming message
from mission control.

- Will.
- Wow.

Great work out there, crew.

Never doubted you
even for a minute.

Well, maybe I doubted you
a little bit.

Hey, you succeeded.
That's all that matters.

And welcome
to four new crewmembers.

And because there are so many
new and yummy supplies,

there's no need
to extract a crewmember.

- Aah! Thank you!
- Great.

Base commander,
I authorize you to allow entry

to all celeb-ronauts.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Great.

Yes, Shatner!

Now that's some good news.
That's some good news.

I really didn't think
it was fair

for us to risk our lives
to go to save someone

and then one of us
has to get eliminated.

So this is perfect.
Thank you so much, Shatty Daddy.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

But first,
we wanna play with our team.

- Okay, this is the hard part.
- Yeah.

Okay, our crew in the airlock,
this is, um-- you know,

this moment is always
very serious here.

I don't want anybody to go,
but this is the name of the game.

Ariel: I'm just nervous.

After the mission to rescue
the new teammates,

one of our original
team members might go home.

That's a little up.

They don't look happy.

Porsha: This mission, everybody
to me was mission critical.

Adam: Yeah, and so,
if everybody feels like

they were mission critical...

- Then come on in! Come on in!
- Then come on in!

There's no elimination
tonight. - Yes!

- God, please.
- You got us.

That was like, "Whoa, that was a little intense,"

which I think is hilarious.

- Both: Welcome back!
- Welcome back! Welcome back!

Tinashe:
I am definitely nervous.

We're getting
four new people in the Hab.

It's getting super cutthroat
in this competition.

Yeah, you guys,
come out to the lockers.

We'll show you where
to put all your stuff.

Definitely am side-eyeing
whoever's coming in here.

They're gonna have
to prove themselves.

They're gonna have to work
twice as hard.

Ariel: We are so weirded out
that more people are coming in here.

Let's do this.

There's alliances forming,
and we all have to watch our backs.

Well, this is going okay.

Lance: You know, having some
new personalities, we need it.

You know, they come
in with a fresh set of eyes and a lot less drama.

- Was it drama?
- No, last night was the drama.

- What happened last night?
- Oh, boy.

I'm from
"The Bachelor" franchise. I need the drama.

- This was terrible.
- Tell us.

This one right here?
It was... - Yeah.

- ...awful.
- Ariel's scary.

Just avoid.

Cat: I'm feeling awkward,

and I'm trying
to figure out what have I gotten myself into here?

- TBC.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Oh, God.
- Computer: Attention, crew.

It is time to unpack
your new supplies.

Hi, guys. Are we gonna have
the ceremonial opening of stuff?

The entire crew,
we're desperate for a resupply.

When you're on Mars
you're only eating noodles and cereal,

which I've been doing
for about a week.

You guys, we got cooking stuff.

Oh, we about to fry some.

- Pizza!
- Wings!

Ronda: Oh, my God! Wings!

Dude, these
are actual buffalo wings with hot sauce.

I wanna cry.

I know I play sports
and everything,

and when my coaches yell,
I'm like, "Don't yell at me 'cause you can talk to me."

- Right, talk.
- No, just talk to me.

He was trying
to eliminate Ariel.

- She was kind of firm in there.
- Wow.

Okay, like, you just got here.

That's kind of not cool.

I definitely feel like there's
a target on me after that.

Paul:
It's a competitive group, and I'm a competitor also.

When you put
the social strategy in it,

you put somebody
in a real difficult position.

Tomorrow night
the feast is gonna happen.

- All right, all right.
- 100%.

I'm gonna cook
my feast tomorrow night.

So, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yes, please.

- Can I hug you? Oh, my God!
- Yes!

My strategy is to cook
some good food.

That's gonna be
my secret weapon.

I have olives, cheese.

When I compete,
I compete to the final.

She was on "The Bachelor."

Dude on "The Bachelor"
chose another girl. She stole him after the show.

Well, I mean, on
"Bachelor In Paradise."

- So...
- Aw,.

I think that the original group
is very bonded together,

and I think whoever
gets along with the team the most has an upper hand.

I'm not gonna
work out.

I mean, I might walk
to a treadmill while eating a sandwich.

I act like
I'm not a competitor,

but, yeah, I would love to beat
the competitive people.

Lance: I'm so glad
you're here, Andy.

- Oh.
- He's now the oldest.

Thanks, Lance.

We got some new energy in here,

but from
a competitive standpoint,

you just got more people
to compete with.

And I would like to win,
I'll just be very clear.

However,
I'm gonna need to survive the current situation,

the current drama,
the current politics.

Look, I'm not for everybody.
I think the world knows that.

But life on Mars
is not a popularity contest.

Rad Dog: Arf, arf.

Do you hear barking?

Arf, arf.

- Oh, my gosh!
- Hi, babies!

Oh, that's so cool.

Marsha and Eartha are alive!

- Marsha!
- Eartha!

These for real?
What is going on here? - Arf, arf.

Shatner: Next time
on "Stars On Mars"...

You new people look nervous!

I'm ready for
some space now.

Computer: Sensors indicate
inbound meteor shower.

- Meteor strike imminent?
- All: Not gonna die!

Don't fall, y'all.
Watch your step.

Meteor impact imminent.

- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- No pressure.

Trying not to fall
off this rover.

Welcome to Mars, bitches.

I didn't understand
what was happening.