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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,021 --> 00:00:09,701 -- # Where does our love lie ? 2 00:00:10,381 --> 00:00:12,861 -- # In the middle of nowhere 3 00:00:13,541 --> 00:00:16,021 -- # Where does he pass me by ? 4 00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:19,101 -- # In the middle of nowhere 5 00:00:19,621 --> 00:00:22,021 -- # Oh, baby, won't you tell me 6 00:00:22,221 --> 00:00:24,501 # What am I to do ? 7 00:00:24,821 --> 00:00:27,221 # I'm in the middle of nowhere 8 00:00:27,421 --> 00:00:29,821 # Getting nowhere with you # 9 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,901 -- (SCREAMS) 10 00:00:40,221 --> 00:00:43,221 Oh. Thought you were somebody else. 11 00:00:44,821 --> 00:00:46,821 (SCREAMS) Oh. 12 00:00:50,101 --> 00:00:52,501 -- You still here, Jackie ? 13 00:00:55,541 --> 00:00:59,541 -- Yeah. You asked me to make 30 copies of your memo. 14 00:00:59,741 --> 00:01:05,821 -- Is it a problem ? It's a simple task, even for somebody secretarially challenged. 15 00:01:05,821 --> 00:01:10,421 -- I think the photocopier's broken. 16 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,421 -- You think ?! 17 00:01:10,421 --> 00:01:12,861 Ah, that's a good one, Jackie. 18 00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:16,221 -- Instead of 30 copies of your memo,.. 19 00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:19,541 it's made 300 copies of my breasts. 20 00:01:20,101 --> 00:01:22,701 And 300 copies of my bare arse. 21 00:01:25,301 --> 00:01:29,421 -- Is this your way of quitting ? 22 00:01:27,301 --> 00:01:29,421 -- Yeah. 23 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,421 -- Effective. 24 00:01:29,421 --> 00:01:31,421 Get out ! 25 00:01:32,101 --> 00:01:34,301 -- Oh, I should warn you. 26 00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:38,821 I've been sick in your bin. 27 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,821 -- Very clever. 28 00:01:49,941 --> 00:01:52,341 # MUSIC ON RADIO 29 00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:54,741 -- (Morning.) 30 00:01:54,941 --> 00:01:56,941 -- (MUMBLES) Morning. 31 00:02:04,221 --> 00:02:08,421 -- They don't do anything, you know. 32 00:02:06,221 --> 00:02:08,421 -- They do. 33 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,421 -- Well, they don't. 34 00:02:10,621 --> 00:02:13,941 -- They do. 35 00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:13,941 -- Yeah, yeah, yeah. 36 00:02:14,141 --> 00:02:18,421 -- Before I started taking these, I couldn't do this. 37 00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:34,541 -- I'm not sure that's good for you. 38 00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,021 -- DOORBELL 39 00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:43,021 -- Paula Martin from Make A Splash Colour Consultancy Ltd. 40 00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:48,021 Could I ask you a few questions, for research, for our consumer database? 41 00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:50,021 -- Yeah. Come in. 42 00:02:50,221 --> 00:02:52,221 -- Oh, thanks very much. 43 00:02:52,421 --> 00:02:55,101 -- Go through. I'll get you a cup. 44 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:59,301 -- Brilliant. It's freezing outside and nobody usually... 45 00:02:59,301 --> 00:03:01,501 ..asks me to come in. 46 00:03:04,341 --> 00:03:07,341 -- Go straight through. Have a seat. 47 00:03:07,341 --> 00:03:09,341 Milk and sugar ? 48 00:03:09,341 --> 00:03:11,541 -- Cool, yeah, whatever. 49 00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:15,341 -- I'd rather you didn't look at the pictures. 50 00:03:15,341 --> 00:03:18,821 -- I wasn't. 51 00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,821 -- They're all of me... 52 00:03:18,821 --> 00:03:21,421 ..in the nude, so to speak. 53 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,701 -- Cool, fine, whatever. 54 00:03:23,701 --> 00:03:26,101 I mean, don't worry about me. 55 00:03:26,101 --> 00:03:31,021 I'm easy about that sort of thing. And we're both girls, aren't we ? 56 00:03:31,021 --> 00:03:33,941 -- There you go. 57 00:03:32,341 --> 00:03:33,941 -- Thanks. > 58 00:03:34,141 --> 00:03:38,141 Ciao ! 59 00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:38,141 -- Still, it's just a bit embarrassing. 60 00:03:38,141 --> 00:03:40,181 So... just don't ! 61 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,901 -- No. Right. Fine. 62 00:03:43,101 --> 00:03:45,301 I'll... just fire away. 63 00:03:45,301 --> 00:03:49,701 I'll just start, OK ? 1) Have you had your colours done ? 64 00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:52,741 -- Erm,... no. 65 00:03:51,221 --> 00:03:52,741 -- No. 66 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:57,941 -- Could you not look at that one ? I've got a massive minge on that one. 67 00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,221 -- What skin tone are you ? 68 00:04:01,421 --> 00:04:04,821 -- Oh. I don't know. Pink, purple, red ? 69 00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:09,501 Don't... look. 70 00:04:10,301 --> 00:04:12,421 -- I might put pink. 71 00:04:12,421 --> 00:04:17,301 If you were a season - number three - what season would you be ? 72 00:04:17,301 --> 00:04:23,221 -- Oh, I think I'd be autumn, because I love fawn and brown. 73 00:04:23,621 --> 00:04:27,421 You're looking. 74 00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:27,421 -- I didn't know it was there. I'll go. 75 00:04:27,421 --> 00:04:33,421 -- There's a watercolour on the table. 76 00:04:28,821 --> 00:04:33,421 -- Right, fine. I'll look at my pad. 77 00:04:33,661 --> 00:04:37,301 -- If this is a problem, drink up... 78 00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:37,301 -- < No. No. 79 00:04:37,301 --> 00:04:42,021 Can I look at you ? 80 00:04:38,621 --> 00:04:42,021 -- Yes. 81 00:04:39,421 --> 00:04:42,021 -- Right. 82 00:04:42,021 --> 00:04:44,621 I've got a problem with... reading. 83 00:04:44,621 --> 00:04:48,421 -- So silly. I shouldn't be embarrassed. 84 00:04:46,621 --> 00:04:48,421 -- No. 85 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,581 -- I'm very body-shy. 86 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:55,901 -- You've got a lovely body, I imagine. 87 00:04:57,221 --> 00:05:02,221 And it's your living room. If you can't... have pictures of yourself.. 88 00:05:02,221 --> 00:05:04,221 ..in the squeaky... 89 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:07,021 ..in your own living room, then... 90 00:05:07,021 --> 00:05:08,981 -- Yeah. Right. 91 00:05:09,301 --> 00:05:13,901 It's not like I'm giving it the old "phwoar" Page Three stuff. 92 00:05:14,101 --> 00:05:17,981 -- No. It's-art-it's-art-it's-art, isn't it ? 93 00:05:18,621 --> 00:05:21,621 -- You can still see my chuff, though. 94 00:05:22,621 --> 00:05:27,021 -- Is the artist a boyfriend ? 95 00:05:24,621 --> 00:05:27,021 -- God, no. I got them at auction. 96 00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:31,901 -- What ? 97 00:05:27,421 --> 00:05:31,901 -- In Florida. Lucky I was there. Don't want anyone else to have them. 98 00:05:32,101 --> 00:05:37,021 -- I can see that. 99 00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:37,021 -- I mean, look at them ! 100 00:05:34,021 --> 00:05:37,021 -- I can ? 101 00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:37,021 -- Yeah. 102 00:05:37,021 --> 00:05:42,021 I've got my tits out ! 103 00:05:39,301 --> 00:05:42,021 -- (GIGGLES HYSTERICALLY) 104 00:05:44,301 --> 00:05:46,421 -- Stop looking, please. 105 00:05:48,941 --> 00:05:50,741 Right, so,... 106 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:53,461 ..the sperm leaves the vesicals... 107 00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:56,821 ..and travels down the urethra... 108 00:05:56,821 --> 00:05:59,221 ..via the vas deferens... 109 00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:01,941 ..and leaves said penis,... 110 00:06:01,941 --> 00:06:04,221 ..to enter the vagina. 111 00:06:05,821 --> 00:06:10,421 How are we doing, girls ? 112 00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:10,421 -- All right, thanks, miss. 113 00:06:12,501 --> 00:06:15,221 -- Excuse me. I'm doing research... 114 00:06:15,821 --> 00:06:17,821 Excuse me. 115 00:06:17,821 --> 00:06:20,821 Excuse me. I'm doing some research. 116 00:06:20,821 --> 00:06:25,021 -- Who's it for ? 117 00:06:22,021 --> 00:06:25,021 -- Science faculty at the university. 118 00:06:25,021 --> 00:06:31,421 -- What sort ? 119 00:06:26,341 --> 00:06:31,421 -- Into the ageing effects of UV light in the cells of mice and rats. 120 00:06:31,421 --> 00:06:35,021 -- Oh, yeah ? 121 00:06:32,221 --> 00:06:35,021 -- It's interesting. Exciting work. 122 00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:38,141 I've got a grant and a workbench. 123 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:47,901 -- What's that got to do with me ? 124 00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:47,901 -- Nothing. Are you impressed ? I'm dying to tell somebody. 125 00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:50,821 -- Don't you want to ask me questions ? 126 00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:53,901 -- No. You can ask me some, if you like 127 00:06:54,101 --> 00:06:58,101 -- That's all right. 128 00:06:55,501 --> 00:06:58,101 -- Thanks for your time. 129 00:06:58,101 --> 00:07:00,101 Excuse me... 130 00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:03,741 -- # ROMANTIC MUSIC 131 00:07:04,221 --> 00:07:06,821 You're very special to me. 132 00:07:07,341 --> 00:07:09,341 You know that. 133 00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:33,301 -- Cut ! > 134 00:07:30,821 --> 00:07:33,301 -- (SPITS) Urgh ! 135 00:07:33,301 --> 00:07:36,301 Urgh ! That was disgusting ! 136 00:07:37,901 --> 00:07:39,901 Is there water ? 137 00:07:41,741 --> 00:07:46,421 Ruth, could you call my fiance and tell him I love him ? 138 00:07:46,621 --> 00:07:48,021 Revolting. 139 00:07:48,421 --> 00:07:53,621 -- Tris ? 140 00:07:49,501 --> 00:07:53,621 -- Yeah ? > 141 00:07:50,621 --> 00:07:53,621 -- Was that all right ? 142 00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:53,621 -- Yeah, fine. > 143 00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,901 -- Yeah. It was really nice. 144 00:07:57,221 --> 00:08:01,021 I don't mind going again, if we have to. 145 00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:03,421 -- I do. 146 00:08:02,021 --> 00:08:03,421 -- Yeah ? 147 00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:07,421 I thought that one... We did it without tongues. 148 00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:10,421 Could we do a version with tongues ? 149 00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:15,621 -- OK. Let's go again. Reset, please. > 150 00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:15,621 -- Not real tongues, just pretend. 151 00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:20,701 -- I just thought - when you bring your hand up, do it like this and I... 152 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,101 -- Here we go. Let's turn over. > 153 00:08:24,101 --> 00:08:25,901 Running. > 154 00:08:27,101 --> 00:08:31,101 Recording. > 155 00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:31,101 -- I... 156 00:08:28,621 --> 00:08:31,101 -- 176, take three. 157 00:08:31,621 --> 00:08:35,741 -- I might do a bit of touching. 158 00:08:32,741 --> 00:08:35,741 -- Please don't. 159 00:08:33,141 --> 00:08:35,741 -- For realism. 160 00:08:33,741 --> 00:08:35,741 -- No. 161 00:08:35,741 --> 00:08:40,021 -- Here we go. And... action ! > 162 00:08:37,421 --> 00:08:40,021 -- # ROMANTIC MUSIC 163 00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:43,101 You're very special to me. 164 00:08:43,821 --> 00:08:45,821 You know that. 165 00:08:58,141 --> 00:08:59,941 -- Cut ! > 166 00:09:00,141 --> 00:09:04,741 -- Oh, I wasn't happy with that. I can do much better than that. 167 00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:07,021 Can we go again ? 168 00:09:07,221 --> 00:09:09,621 There was hammering outside. 169 00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:12,021 One more. 170 00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:16,621 Just go straight away again, yeah ? 171 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:16,621 -- That's fine. > 172 00:09:16,621 --> 00:09:19,301 -- Say that about me being special. 173 00:09:29,421 --> 00:09:32,821 -- Excuse me. 174 00:09:30,901 --> 00:09:32,821 -- You're excused. 175 00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:34,421 Sorry. 176 00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:38,421 -- Have you got a light ? 177 00:09:36,421 --> 00:09:38,421 -- Yeah, sure. 178 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:51,421 -- Thanks. 179 00:09:49,301 --> 00:09:51,421 -- No problem. 180 00:10:06,221 --> 00:10:10,221 -- # Quando Quando Quando 181 00:11:00,301 --> 00:11:02,301 MUSIC ENDS 182 00:11:22,541 --> 00:11:25,021 -- Look at him behind you. 183 00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:28,021 -- Oh, he's gorgeous. 184 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,621 -- I think his name's Michael. 185 00:11:30,621 --> 00:11:35,021 -- I bet he's gay, though. 186 00:11:31,621 --> 00:11:35,021 -- He isn't. Simone knows him. 187 00:11:35,221 --> 00:11:40,021 -- He's good-looking and he's not gay ? 188 00:11:37,621 --> 00:11:40,021 -- I don't think so. 189 00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,421 -- I'm gonna go and talk to him. 190 00:11:42,821 --> 00:11:45,021 Do I look all right ? 191 00:11:46,221 --> 00:11:50,621 'Wow, good-looking and not gay. I can't believe it.' 192 00:11:50,621 --> 00:11:52,621 'Ooh, here goes !' 193 00:11:52,821 --> 00:11:55,021 Hi. I'm Liz. 194 00:11:55,221 --> 00:11:58,021 -- Nice to meet you. Name's Michael. 195 00:11:58,221 --> 00:12:00,901 -- 'Michael. Such a not-gay name.' 196 00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:04,221 'Big, warm, heterosexual hands.' 197 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:10,421 'I love him !' 198 00:12:05,941 --> 00:12:10,421 So, what do you do, Michael ? 199 00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:10,421 'Big arms. I love that in a man !' 200 00:12:10,421 --> 00:12:13,821 -- ..arms trade... 201 00:12:11,421 --> 00:12:13,821 -- 'That is so not a gay job.' 202 00:12:13,821 --> 00:12:17,101 -- ..chemical weapons... 203 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,101 -- 'Lovely not-gay jaw !' 204 00:12:17,101 --> 00:12:21,301 -- ..burns and blindness... 205 00:12:18,701 --> 00:12:21,301 -- 'Please love me ! He's perfect !' 206 00:12:21,301 --> 00:12:26,821 -- What do you do ? 207 00:12:21,701 --> 00:12:26,821 -- Oh,... 208 00:12:22,621 --> 00:12:26,821 'Rrrrrr... !' 209 00:12:23,621 --> 00:12:26,821 ..I'm a graphics designer. 210 00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:30,021 -- That's a man's job, innit, that ? 211 00:12:30,221 --> 00:12:34,901 -- 'Good sense of humour !' 212 00:12:31,421 --> 00:12:34,901 -- Women, they're inferior. 213 00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:37,021 -- 'Definitely not gay !' 214 00:12:37,021 --> 00:12:41,541 Ooh ! 215 00:12:37,941 --> 00:12:41,541 'Popping out. He must be mine.' 216 00:12:41,741 --> 00:12:44,141 -- ..only good for breeding. 217 00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:48,141 -- What do you like to do socially ? 218 00:12:48,341 --> 00:12:53,021 -- I'm on my own... 219 00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:53,021 -- 'Wow ! My boat has come in.' 220 00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:58,021 -- ..top-shelf wank mags... 221 00:12:54,301 --> 00:12:58,021 -- 'Off again ! Charming ! So not gay.' 222 00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:03,021 -- I did one of 'em once. Skinny thing but with massive, bouncing tits. 223 00:13:03,301 --> 00:13:07,701 -- '# Perfect, perfect, perfect ! # Bring your head closer.' 224 00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:11,701 Are you single ? 225 00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,701 -- Mm-hm. Getting lots of pussy. 226 00:13:11,701 --> 00:13:15,501 -- 'He's single !' 227 00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:15,501 -- Young, old - pussy's pussy. 228 00:13:15,701 --> 00:13:19,421 -- 'He's single !' 229 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,421 -- Yeah, I don't mind how young. 230 00:13:19,421 --> 00:13:23,221 -- 'Such a not-gay shirt. Look at his eyes.' 231 00:13:23,221 --> 00:13:28,021 'Lovely -- heterosexual -- eyes !' 232 00:13:24,621 --> 00:13:28,021 -- They love it, women, masculinity. 233 00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:33,021 I'm fit. You can see that. 234 00:13:29,301 --> 00:13:33,021 -- 'I am so up for it with you, baby !' 235 00:13:33,221 --> 00:13:37,021 -- ..weekends, give it a... 236 00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:37,021 -- 'I love you !' 237 00:13:37,221 --> 00:13:42,021 -- ..line dancing. 238 00:13:38,341 --> 00:13:42,021 -- 'I am so... What ? Line dancing ?' 239 00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:45,621 See you around. 240 00:13:45,621 --> 00:13:47,221 (Urgh !) 241 00:13:51,421 --> 00:13:53,821 -- DRILLING 242 00:14:00,221 --> 00:14:02,821 -- WILL YOU SHUT UP ? 243 00:14:06,861 --> 00:14:09,981 -- SHUT UP, YOU SELFISH BASTARDS ! 244 00:14:12,021 --> 00:14:15,021 THAT IS IT ! YOU'VE HAD IT NOW ! 245 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,821 Claudine ! 246 00:14:16,821 --> 00:14:19,901 Are you there ? They won't be quiet. 247 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:53,021 'Bitch !' 248 00:14:54,741 --> 00:14:56,421 -- BEEP 249 00:14:57,741 --> 00:15:02,621 (NORTHERN) I'm not choosy but if I book a smoker's coach tour.. 250 00:15:02,621 --> 00:15:05,021 ..I expect to smoke where I want. 251 00:15:05,021 --> 00:15:09,021 But no. In the Vatican Museum I get told to put it out. 252 00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:12,821 Anne Frank's attic - told to put it out. 253 00:15:12,821 --> 00:15:17,421 Having a quiet fag, looking at the Mona Lisa, told to put it out. 254 00:15:17,421 --> 00:15:19,421 I'm careful. 255 00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:24,021 If there was a fire, the sprinkler systems keep the pictures wet. 256 00:15:24,021 --> 00:15:26,021 It's stupid. 257 00:15:26,021 --> 00:15:27,421 So... 258 00:15:27,421 --> 00:15:29,421 ..I want someone... 259 00:15:29,421 --> 00:15:31,701 ..who smokes like a bastard. 260 00:15:31,701 --> 00:15:36,021 I'm not interested in a no-smoking relationship. 261 00:15:38,501 --> 00:15:39,901 BEEP 262 00:15:40,901 --> 00:15:43,301 -- We are Apollini and Benji Marharsin. 263 00:15:43,301 --> 00:15:47,501 We are looking for a young, similar, attractive couple... 264 00:15:47,501 --> 00:15:49,741 ..in the... England area. 265 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:54,021 We want to meet up for evenings of beer and wine and... 266 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,701 ..fun. 267 00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:57,701 Maybe more. 268 00:15:57,901 --> 00:16:02,901 It's the first time we've done this but we both for some time want to... 269 00:16:02,901 --> 00:16:04,301 ..swing. 270 00:16:04,301 --> 00:16:07,021 I very much want to go swinging. 271 00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:11,621 I can recommend my husband. He is quiet but uninhibited. 272 00:16:11,621 --> 00:16:17,221 He does upstairs downstairs, half-eaten samosa, deaf Rapunzel... 273 00:16:17,221 --> 00:16:20,021 ..and most Latin American rhythms. 274 00:16:20,221 --> 00:16:23,021 Also the straight three-in-a-bar. 275 00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:25,221 And, as for me,... 276 00:16:25,621 --> 00:16:28,421 ..I don't want to be arrogant but... 277 00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,501 ..I can really make the puffin fly. 278 00:16:34,381 --> 00:16:35,861 -- BEEP 279 00:16:36,741 --> 00:16:40,621 -- I want somebody to go out with but not go out. 280 00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:45,021 I've come out of prison and I'm used to a squarish room. 281 00:16:45,021 --> 00:16:48,421 If anybody wanted to go out with me 282 00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:53,741 but not really go out, just stay in, and likes square rooms, then ring. 283 00:16:54,341 --> 00:16:58,621 I was in for armed robbery but I never killed anybody. 284 00:16:58,621 --> 00:17:01,021 I never did it, actually. 285 00:17:01,381 --> 00:17:04,021 -- If we follow my three-year plan,... 286 00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:08,941 ..we'll see an increase of 30%, 40% in our client base by April 2000. 287 00:17:08,941 --> 00:17:12,941 Will everybody in favour please raise their hands ? 288 00:17:15,621 --> 00:17:20,341 Sorry, will everybody in favour please -- raise -- their hands ? 289 00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:30,981 I spent ages on that. 290 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,821 (SOBS) 291 00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:39,021 -- STAMPS FOOT 292 00:17:39,821 --> 00:17:42,621 -- I want to do my plaaan ! 293 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,821 (SOBS) 294 00:17:46,621 --> 00:17:53,221 I want to do my plaaaaaaaaaaa... 295 00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:57,421 ..(GASPS) aaaaaaaaaaa... 296 00:17:57,421 --> 00:17:59,021 ..nnnn. 297 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:04,301 Why won't... Why-uh won't-uh you-uh let me do my plan, mm ? 298 00:18:06,421 --> 00:18:11,421 If you don't let me do my plan, I'm going to hold my breath until I die. 299 00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:13,421 Mm-hm. I am. 300 00:18:28,101 --> 00:18:29,941 Mm-mm-mm. 301 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,741 Mm. 302 00:18:38,021 --> 00:18:39,421 (GASPS) 303 00:18:39,421 --> 00:18:44,341 Thanks. That was unanimous. It's been a very productive meeting. 304 00:18:44,341 --> 00:18:46,421 See you next week. 305 00:18:47,101 --> 00:18:49,101 -- DUCKS QUACK 306 00:19:01,821 --> 00:19:03,701 PHONE 307 00:19:04,741 --> 00:19:07,741 All right, who's stolen my nipples ? 308 00:19:10,821 --> 00:19:13,821 Sorry. It's all right. They're here. 309 00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:18,541 # SLUSHY MUSIC 310 00:19:18,941 --> 00:19:21,421 -- Oh, God, you're so gorgeous. 311 00:19:21,621 --> 00:19:24,021 There's no-one else like you. 312 00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:28,221 You're the only girl I fancy at work and I mean that. 313 00:19:28,221 --> 00:19:33,621 It's not just a lust thing. I feel you're really different, special. 314 00:19:33,621 --> 00:19:35,901 I can talk to you. 315 00:19:37,021 --> 00:19:43,021 I could put in a good word for you at work. You deserve to be promoted. 316 00:19:44,621 --> 00:19:49,021 But right now I want to make mad, passionate love to you. 317 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:53,621 I wanna kiss every inch of your body. I wanna bite your bum. 318 00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:56,741 -- I'm... I'm... I'm just gonna... 319 00:19:56,941 --> 00:19:59,221 ..go and put something in. 320 00:19:59,221 --> 00:20:01,821 -- Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. 321 00:20:02,621 --> 00:20:04,621 Be quick, though, baby. 322 00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,341 Oh, result ! 323 00:20:19,821 --> 00:20:22,621 What are you doing? What are those? 324 00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,621 -- Earplugs. 325 00:20:24,621 --> 00:20:27,221 So I won't hear your bullshit ! 326 00:20:48,821 --> 00:20:53,421 -- ALL: # For she's a jolly good fellow For she's a jolly good fellow 327 00:20:53,421 --> 00:20:56,421 # For she's a jolly good fellow 328 00:20:56,941 --> 00:20:59,421 # And so say all of us 329 00:20:59,421 --> 00:21:01,421 # And so say... 330 00:21:03,821 --> 00:21:05,621 -- Sorry. 331 00:21:05,621 --> 00:21:08,221 I thought she was someone else. 332 00:21:15,421 --> 00:21:19,741 # I thought maybe / I'd go crazy 333 00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:22,821 # Didn't know what I was worth 334 00:21:23,101 --> 00:21:26,421 # Thought I had to stay on earth 335 00:21:27,741 --> 00:21:30,421 -- ALL: # Can't be frightened... 336 00:21:30,421 --> 00:21:32,621 # ..of aiming higher 337 00:21:32,621 --> 00:21:35,301 # Mustn't hide away and cry 338 00:21:35,701 --> 00:21:40,021 # Spread your wings and touch the sky 339 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,821 -- # You'll find that your mind... 340 00:21:45,141 --> 00:21:47,821 -- # ..is full of colours 341 00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:51,141 # And you'll see that you're free 342 00:21:51,421 --> 00:21:53,941 # To feel colours 343 00:21:54,141 --> 00:21:56,501 # Colours like blue 344 00:21:56,981 --> 00:22:02,541 # And even if it's only for one day of your life 345 00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:05,501 # You've broken through 346 00:22:05,901 --> 00:22:07,661 # Haven't you ? 347 00:22:07,861 --> 00:22:10,141 -- # I will show you 348 00:22:12,221 --> 00:22:18,221 # Life is short 349 00:22:14,061 --> 00:22:18,221 -- # And wide 350 00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:18,221 -- # Don't cry, reach up, you can fly 351 00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:24,421 -- # Life is short 352 00:22:20,461 --> 00:22:24,421 -- # And wide 353 00:22:21,701 --> 00:22:24,421 -- # Don't fight, reach up, fly on by 354 00:22:24,621 --> 00:22:30,821 -- # Life is short 355 00:22:26,781 --> 00:22:30,821 -- # And wide 356 00:22:28,101 --> 00:22:30,821 -- # Don't die, reach up, fly so high 357 00:22:30,821 --> 00:22:38,421 -- # Life is short 358 00:22:33,181 --> 00:22:38,421 -- And wide ! 359 00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:38,421 -- # Just fly, reach up, touch the sky 360 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,781 -- # You'll find that your mind... 361 00:22:41,981 --> 00:22:44,741 -- ALL: # ..is full of colours 362 00:22:45,341 --> 00:22:47,901 # And you'll see that you're free 363 00:22:48,301 --> 00:22:50,581 # To feel colours 364 00:22:50,901 --> 00:22:53,181 # Colours like blue 365 00:22:53,901 --> 00:22:59,101 # And even if it's only for one day of your life 366 00:22:59,941 --> 00:23:02,141 -- # You've broken through 367 00:23:02,421 --> 00:23:04,421 # Haven't you ? 368 00:23:04,621 --> 00:23:07,221 # I will show you # 369 00:23:18,861 --> 00:23:23,781 The pole's quite big, so, when you attack, don't just whack them. 370 00:23:23,781 --> 00:23:26,021 Because that's gonna hurt. 371 00:23:26,021 --> 00:23:31,421 You've gotta let go with kendo wrists slightly, and a sort of half-flick. 372 00:23:31,421 --> 00:23:35,021 OK ? 373 00:23:32,421 --> 00:23:35,021 -- Mm-hm. 374 00:23:33,021 --> 00:23:35,021 -- Just try one now. 375 00:23:35,301 --> 00:23:37,501 That's it. And again. 376 00:23:38,021 --> 00:23:40,101 Breaking the wrists. 377 00:23:40,301 --> 00:23:42,301 That's it. 378 00:23:42,701 --> 00:23:44,701 Now try it on me. 379 00:23:50,821 --> 00:23:53,821 intelfax subtitles HELEN FAULKNER 25907

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