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1
00:00:07,021 --> 00:00:09,701
-- # Where does our love lie ?
2
00:00:10,381 --> 00:00:12,861
-- # In the middle of nowhere
3
00:00:13,541 --> 00:00:16,021
-- # Where does he pass me by ?
4
00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:19,101
-- # In the middle of nowhere
5
00:00:19,621 --> 00:00:22,021
-- # Oh, baby, won't you tell me
6
00:00:22,221 --> 00:00:24,501
# What am I to do ?
7
00:00:24,821 --> 00:00:27,221
# I'm in the middle of nowhere
8
00:00:27,421 --> 00:00:29,821
# Getting nowhere with you #
9
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,901
-- (SCREAMS)
10
00:00:40,221 --> 00:00:43,221
Oh. Thought you were somebody else.
11
00:00:44,821 --> 00:00:46,821
(SCREAMS) Oh.
12
00:00:50,101 --> 00:00:52,501
-- You still here, Jackie ?
13
00:00:55,541 --> 00:00:59,541
-- Yeah. You asked me
to make 30 copies of your memo.
14
00:00:59,741 --> 00:01:05,821
-- Is it a problem ?
It's a simple task, even for
somebody secretarially challenged.
15
00:01:05,821 --> 00:01:10,421
-- I think the photocopier's broken.
16
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,421
-- You think ?!
17
00:01:10,421 --> 00:01:12,861
Ah, that's a good one, Jackie.
18
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:16,221
-- Instead of 30 copies of your memo,..
19
00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:19,541
it's made 300 copies of my breasts.
20
00:01:20,101 --> 00:01:22,701
And 300 copies of my bare arse.
21
00:01:25,301 --> 00:01:29,421
-- Is this your way of quitting ?
22
00:01:27,301 --> 00:01:29,421
-- Yeah.
23
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,421
-- Effective.
24
00:01:29,421 --> 00:01:31,421
Get out !
25
00:01:32,101 --> 00:01:34,301
-- Oh, I should warn you.
26
00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:38,821
I've been sick in your bin.
27
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,821
-- Very clever.
28
00:01:49,941 --> 00:01:52,341
# MUSIC ON RADIO
29
00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:54,741
-- (Morning.)
30
00:01:54,941 --> 00:01:56,941
-- (MUMBLES) Morning.
31
00:02:04,221 --> 00:02:08,421
-- They don't do anything, you know.
32
00:02:06,221 --> 00:02:08,421
-- They do.
33
00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,421
-- Well, they don't.
34
00:02:10,621 --> 00:02:13,941
-- They do.
35
00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:13,941
-- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36
00:02:14,141 --> 00:02:18,421
-- Before I started taking these,
I couldn't do this.
37
00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:34,541
-- I'm not sure that's good for you.
38
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,021
-- DOORBELL
39
00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:43,021
-- Paula Martin from Make A Splash
Colour Consultancy Ltd.
40
00:02:43,021 --> 00:02:48,021
Could I ask you a few questions, for
research, for our consumer database?
41
00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:50,021
-- Yeah. Come in.
42
00:02:50,221 --> 00:02:52,221
-- Oh, thanks very much.
43
00:02:52,421 --> 00:02:55,101
-- Go through. I'll get you a cup.
44
00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:59,301
-- Brilliant. It's freezing outside
and nobody usually...
45
00:02:59,301 --> 00:03:01,501
..asks me to come in.
46
00:03:04,341 --> 00:03:07,341
-- Go straight through. Have a seat.
47
00:03:07,341 --> 00:03:09,341
Milk and sugar ?
48
00:03:09,341 --> 00:03:11,541
-- Cool, yeah, whatever.
49
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:15,341
-- I'd rather
you didn't look at the pictures.
50
00:03:15,341 --> 00:03:18,821
-- I wasn't.
51
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,821
-- They're all of me...
52
00:03:18,821 --> 00:03:21,421
..in the nude, so to speak.
53
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,701
-- Cool, fine, whatever.
54
00:03:23,701 --> 00:03:26,101
I mean, don't worry about me.
55
00:03:26,101 --> 00:03:31,021
I'm easy about that sort of thing.
And we're both girls, aren't we ?
56
00:03:31,021 --> 00:03:33,941
-- There you go.
57
00:03:32,341 --> 00:03:33,941
-- Thanks. >
58
00:03:34,141 --> 00:03:38,141
Ciao !
59
00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:38,141
-- Still, it's just a bit embarrassing.
60
00:03:38,141 --> 00:03:40,181
So... just don't !
61
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,901
-- No. Right. Fine.
62
00:03:43,101 --> 00:03:45,301
I'll... just fire away.
63
00:03:45,301 --> 00:03:49,701
I'll just start, OK ?
1) Have you had your colours done ?
64
00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:52,741
-- Erm,... no.
65
00:03:51,221 --> 00:03:52,741
-- No.
66
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:57,941
-- Could you not look at that one ?
I've got a massive minge on that one.
67
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,221
-- What skin tone are you ?
68
00:04:01,421 --> 00:04:04,821
-- Oh. I don't know. Pink, purple, red ?
69
00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:09,501
Don't... look.
70
00:04:10,301 --> 00:04:12,421
-- I might put pink.
71
00:04:12,421 --> 00:04:17,301
If you were a season - number three
- what season would you be ?
72
00:04:17,301 --> 00:04:23,221
-- Oh, I think I'd be autumn,
because I love fawn and brown.
73
00:04:23,621 --> 00:04:27,421
You're looking.
74
00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:27,421
-- I didn't know it was there. I'll go.
75
00:04:27,421 --> 00:04:33,421
-- There's a watercolour on the table.
76
00:04:28,821 --> 00:04:33,421
-- Right, fine. I'll look at my pad.
77
00:04:33,661 --> 00:04:37,301
-- If this is a problem, drink up...
78
00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:37,301
-- < No. No.
79
00:04:37,301 --> 00:04:42,021
Can I look at you ?
80
00:04:38,621 --> 00:04:42,021
-- Yes.
81
00:04:39,421 --> 00:04:42,021
-- Right.
82
00:04:42,021 --> 00:04:44,621
I've got a problem with... reading.
83
00:04:44,621 --> 00:04:48,421
-- So silly. I shouldn't be embarrassed.
84
00:04:46,621 --> 00:04:48,421
-- No.
85
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,581
-- I'm very body-shy.
86
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:55,901
-- You've got a lovely body, I imagine.
87
00:04:57,221 --> 00:05:02,221
And it's your living room. If you
can't... have pictures of yourself..
88
00:05:02,221 --> 00:05:04,221
..in the squeaky...
89
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:07,021
..in your own living room, then...
90
00:05:07,021 --> 00:05:08,981
-- Yeah. Right.
91
00:05:09,301 --> 00:05:13,901
It's not like I'm giving it
the old "phwoar" Page Three stuff.
92
00:05:14,101 --> 00:05:17,981
-- No. It's-art-it's-art-it's-art,
isn't it ?
93
00:05:18,621 --> 00:05:21,621
-- You can still see my chuff, though.
94
00:05:22,621 --> 00:05:27,021
-- Is the artist a boyfriend ?
95
00:05:24,621 --> 00:05:27,021
-- God, no. I got them at auction.
96
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:31,901
-- What ?
97
00:05:27,421 --> 00:05:31,901
-- In Florida. Lucky I was there.
Don't want anyone else to have them.
98
00:05:32,101 --> 00:05:37,021
-- I can see that.
99
00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:37,021
-- I mean, look at them !
100
00:05:34,021 --> 00:05:37,021
-- I can ?
101
00:05:35,021 --> 00:05:37,021
-- Yeah.
102
00:05:37,021 --> 00:05:42,021
I've got my tits out !
103
00:05:39,301 --> 00:05:42,021
-- (GIGGLES HYSTERICALLY)
104
00:05:44,301 --> 00:05:46,421
-- Stop looking, please.
105
00:05:48,941 --> 00:05:50,741
Right, so,...
106
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:53,461
..the sperm leaves the vesicals...
107
00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:56,821
..and travels down the urethra...
108
00:05:56,821 --> 00:05:59,221
..via the vas deferens...
109
00:05:59,421 --> 00:06:01,941
..and leaves said penis,...
110
00:06:01,941 --> 00:06:04,221
..to enter the vagina.
111
00:06:05,821 --> 00:06:10,421
How are we doing, girls ?
112
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:10,421
-- All right, thanks, miss.
113
00:06:12,501 --> 00:06:15,221
-- Excuse me. I'm doing research...
114
00:06:15,821 --> 00:06:17,821
Excuse me.
115
00:06:17,821 --> 00:06:20,821
Excuse me. I'm doing some research.
116
00:06:20,821 --> 00:06:25,021
-- Who's it for ?
117
00:06:22,021 --> 00:06:25,021
-- Science faculty at the university.
118
00:06:25,021 --> 00:06:31,421
-- What sort ?
119
00:06:26,341 --> 00:06:31,421
-- Into the ageing effects of UV light
in the cells of mice and rats.
120
00:06:31,421 --> 00:06:35,021
-- Oh, yeah ?
121
00:06:32,221 --> 00:06:35,021
-- It's interesting. Exciting work.
122
00:06:35,021 --> 00:06:38,141
I've got a grant and a workbench.
123
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:47,901
-- What's that got to do with me ?
124
00:06:42,301 --> 00:06:47,901
-- Nothing. Are you impressed ?
I'm dying to tell somebody.
125
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:50,821
-- Don't you want to ask me questions ?
126
00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:53,901
-- No. You can ask me some, if you like
127
00:06:54,101 --> 00:06:58,101
-- That's all right.
128
00:06:55,501 --> 00:06:58,101
-- Thanks for your time.
129
00:06:58,101 --> 00:07:00,101
Excuse me...
130
00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:03,741
-- # ROMANTIC MUSIC
131
00:07:04,221 --> 00:07:06,821
You're very special to me.
132
00:07:07,341 --> 00:07:09,341
You know that.
133
00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:33,301
-- Cut ! >
134
00:07:30,821 --> 00:07:33,301
-- (SPITS) Urgh !
135
00:07:33,301 --> 00:07:36,301
Urgh ! That was disgusting !
136
00:07:37,901 --> 00:07:39,901
Is there water ?
137
00:07:41,741 --> 00:07:46,421
Ruth, could you call my fiance
and tell him I love him ?
138
00:07:46,621 --> 00:07:48,021
Revolting.
139
00:07:48,421 --> 00:07:53,621
-- Tris ?
140
00:07:49,501 --> 00:07:53,621
-- Yeah ? >
141
00:07:50,621 --> 00:07:53,621
-- Was that all right ?
142
00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:53,621
-- Yeah, fine. >
143
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,901
-- Yeah. It was really nice.
144
00:07:57,221 --> 00:08:01,021
I don't mind going again,
if we have to.
145
00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:03,421
-- I do.
146
00:08:02,021 --> 00:08:03,421
-- Yeah ?
147
00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:07,421
I thought that one...
We did it without tongues.
148
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:10,421
Could we do a version with tongues ?
149
00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:15,621
-- OK. Let's go again. Reset, please. >
150
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:15,621
-- Not real tongues, just pretend.
151
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:20,701
-- I just thought - when you bring your
hand up, do it like this and I...
152
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,101
-- Here we go. Let's turn over. >
153
00:08:24,101 --> 00:08:25,901
Running. >
154
00:08:27,101 --> 00:08:31,101
Recording. >
155
00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:31,101
-- I...
156
00:08:28,621 --> 00:08:31,101
-- 176, take three.
157
00:08:31,621 --> 00:08:35,741
-- I might do a bit of touching.
158
00:08:32,741 --> 00:08:35,741
-- Please don't.
159
00:08:33,141 --> 00:08:35,741
-- For realism.
160
00:08:33,741 --> 00:08:35,741
-- No.
161
00:08:35,741 --> 00:08:40,021
-- Here we go. And... action ! >
162
00:08:37,421 --> 00:08:40,021
-- # ROMANTIC MUSIC
163
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:43,101
You're very special to me.
164
00:08:43,821 --> 00:08:45,821
You know that.
165
00:08:58,141 --> 00:08:59,941
-- Cut ! >
166
00:09:00,141 --> 00:09:04,741
-- Oh, I wasn't happy with that.
I can do much better than that.
167
00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:07,021
Can we go again ?
168
00:09:07,221 --> 00:09:09,621
There was hammering outside.
169
00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:12,021
One more.
170
00:09:12,021 --> 00:09:16,621
Just go straight away again, yeah ?
171
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:16,621
-- That's fine. >
172
00:09:16,621 --> 00:09:19,301
-- Say that about me being special.
173
00:09:29,421 --> 00:09:32,821
-- Excuse me.
174
00:09:30,901 --> 00:09:32,821
-- You're excused.
175
00:09:33,021 --> 00:09:34,421
Sorry.
176
00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:38,421
-- Have you got a light ?
177
00:09:36,421 --> 00:09:38,421
-- Yeah, sure.
178
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:51,421
-- Thanks.
179
00:09:49,301 --> 00:09:51,421
-- No problem.
180
00:10:06,221 --> 00:10:10,221
-- # Quando Quando Quando
181
00:11:00,301 --> 00:11:02,301
MUSIC ENDS
182
00:11:22,541 --> 00:11:25,021
-- Look at him behind you.
183
00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:28,021
-- Oh, he's gorgeous.
184
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,621
-- I think his name's Michael.
185
00:11:30,621 --> 00:11:35,021
-- I bet he's gay, though.
186
00:11:31,621 --> 00:11:35,021
-- He isn't. Simone knows him.
187
00:11:35,221 --> 00:11:40,021
-- He's good-looking and he's not gay ?
188
00:11:37,621 --> 00:11:40,021
-- I don't think so.
189
00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:42,421
-- I'm gonna go and talk to him.
190
00:11:42,821 --> 00:11:45,021
Do I look all right ?
191
00:11:46,221 --> 00:11:50,621
'Wow, good-looking and not gay.
I can't believe it.'
192
00:11:50,621 --> 00:11:52,621
'Ooh, here goes !'
193
00:11:52,821 --> 00:11:55,021
Hi. I'm Liz.
194
00:11:55,221 --> 00:11:58,021
-- Nice to meet you. Name's Michael.
195
00:11:58,221 --> 00:12:00,901
-- 'Michael. Such a not-gay name.'
196
00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:04,221
'Big, warm, heterosexual hands.'
197
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:10,421
'I love him !'
198
00:12:05,941 --> 00:12:10,421
So, what do you do, Michael ?
199
00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:10,421
'Big arms. I love that in a man !'
200
00:12:10,421 --> 00:12:13,821
-- ..arms trade...
201
00:12:11,421 --> 00:12:13,821
-- 'That is so not a gay job.'
202
00:12:13,821 --> 00:12:17,101
-- ..chemical weapons...
203
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,101
-- 'Lovely not-gay jaw !'
204
00:12:17,101 --> 00:12:21,301
-- ..burns and blindness...
205
00:12:18,701 --> 00:12:21,301
-- 'Please love me ! He's perfect !'
206
00:12:21,301 --> 00:12:26,821
-- What do you do ?
207
00:12:21,701 --> 00:12:26,821
-- Oh,...
208
00:12:22,621 --> 00:12:26,821
'Rrrrrr... !'
209
00:12:23,621 --> 00:12:26,821
..I'm a graphics designer.
210
00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:30,021
-- That's a man's job, innit, that ?
211
00:12:30,221 --> 00:12:34,901
-- 'Good sense of humour !'
212
00:12:31,421 --> 00:12:34,901
-- Women, they're inferior.
213
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:37,021
-- 'Definitely not gay !'
214
00:12:37,021 --> 00:12:41,541
Ooh !
215
00:12:37,941 --> 00:12:41,541
'Popping out. He must be mine.'
216
00:12:41,741 --> 00:12:44,141
-- ..only good for breeding.
217
00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:48,141
-- What do you like to do socially ?
218
00:12:48,341 --> 00:12:53,021
-- I'm on my own...
219
00:12:49,021 --> 00:12:53,021
-- 'Wow ! My boat has come in.'
220
00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:58,021
-- ..top-shelf wank mags...
221
00:12:54,301 --> 00:12:58,021
-- 'Off again ! Charming ! So not gay.'
222
00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:03,021
-- I did one of 'em once. Skinny thing
but with massive, bouncing tits.
223
00:13:03,301 --> 00:13:07,701
-- '# Perfect, perfect, perfect ! #
Bring your head closer.'
224
00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:11,701
Are you single ?
225
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,701
-- Mm-hm. Getting lots of pussy.
226
00:13:11,701 --> 00:13:15,501
-- 'He's single !'
227
00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:15,501
-- Young, old - pussy's pussy.
228
00:13:15,701 --> 00:13:19,421
-- 'He's single !'
229
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,421
-- Yeah, I don't mind how young.
230
00:13:19,421 --> 00:13:23,221
-- 'Such a not-gay shirt.
Look at his eyes.'
231
00:13:23,221 --> 00:13:28,021
'Lovely -- heterosexual -- eyes !'
232
00:13:24,621 --> 00:13:28,021
-- They love it, women, masculinity.
233
00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:33,021
I'm fit. You can see that.
234
00:13:29,301 --> 00:13:33,021
-- 'I am so up for it with you, baby !'
235
00:13:33,221 --> 00:13:37,021
-- ..weekends, give it a...
236
00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:37,021
-- 'I love you !'
237
00:13:37,221 --> 00:13:42,021
-- ..line dancing.
238
00:13:38,341 --> 00:13:42,021
-- 'I am so... What ? Line dancing ?'
239
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:45,621
See you around.
240
00:13:45,621 --> 00:13:47,221
(Urgh !)
241
00:13:51,421 --> 00:13:53,821
-- DRILLING
242
00:14:00,221 --> 00:14:02,821
-- WILL YOU SHUT UP ?
243
00:14:06,861 --> 00:14:09,981
-- SHUT UP, YOU SELFISH BASTARDS !
244
00:14:12,021 --> 00:14:15,021
THAT IS IT ! YOU'VE HAD IT NOW !
245
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,821
Claudine !
246
00:14:16,821 --> 00:14:19,901
Are you there ? They won't be quiet.
247
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:53,021
'Bitch !'
248
00:14:54,741 --> 00:14:56,421
-- BEEP
249
00:14:57,741 --> 00:15:02,621
(NORTHERN) I'm not choosy
but if I book a smoker's coach tour..
250
00:15:02,621 --> 00:15:05,021
..I expect to smoke where I want.
251
00:15:05,021 --> 00:15:09,021
But no. In the Vatican Museum
I get told to put it out.
252
00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:12,821
Anne Frank's attic -
told to put it out.
253
00:15:12,821 --> 00:15:17,421
Having a quiet fag, looking at
the Mona Lisa, told to put it out.
254
00:15:17,421 --> 00:15:19,421
I'm careful.
255
00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:24,021
If there was a fire, the sprinkler
systems keep the pictures wet.
256
00:15:24,021 --> 00:15:26,021
It's stupid.
257
00:15:26,021 --> 00:15:27,421
So...
258
00:15:27,421 --> 00:15:29,421
..I want someone...
259
00:15:29,421 --> 00:15:31,701
..who smokes like a bastard.
260
00:15:31,701 --> 00:15:36,021
I'm not interested
in a no-smoking relationship.
261
00:15:38,501 --> 00:15:39,901
BEEP
262
00:15:40,901 --> 00:15:43,301
-- We are Apollini and Benji Marharsin.
263
00:15:43,301 --> 00:15:47,501
We are looking for a young,
similar, attractive couple...
264
00:15:47,501 --> 00:15:49,741
..in the... England area.
265
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:54,021
We want to meet up
for evenings of beer and wine and...
266
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,701
..fun.
267
00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:57,701
Maybe more.
268
00:15:57,901 --> 00:16:02,901
It's the first time we've done this
but we both for some time want to...
269
00:16:02,901 --> 00:16:04,301
..swing.
270
00:16:04,301 --> 00:16:07,021
I very much want to go swinging.
271
00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:11,621
I can recommend my husband.
He is quiet but uninhibited.
272
00:16:11,621 --> 00:16:17,221
He does upstairs downstairs,
half-eaten samosa, deaf Rapunzel...
273
00:16:17,221 --> 00:16:20,021
..and most Latin American rhythms.
274
00:16:20,221 --> 00:16:23,021
Also the straight three-in-a-bar.
275
00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:25,221
And, as for me,...
276
00:16:25,621 --> 00:16:28,421
..I don't want to be arrogant but...
277
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:31,501
..I can really make the puffin fly.
278
00:16:34,381 --> 00:16:35,861
-- BEEP
279
00:16:36,741 --> 00:16:40,621
-- I want somebody to go out with
but not go out.
280
00:16:40,621 --> 00:16:45,021
I've come out of prison
and I'm used to a squarish room.
281
00:16:45,021 --> 00:16:48,421
If anybody wanted to go out with me
282
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:53,741
but not really go out, just stay in,
and likes square rooms, then ring.
283
00:16:54,341 --> 00:16:58,621
I was in for armed robbery
but I never killed anybody.
284
00:16:58,621 --> 00:17:01,021
I never did it, actually.
285
00:17:01,381 --> 00:17:04,021
-- If we follow my three-year plan,...
286
00:17:04,021 --> 00:17:08,941
..we'll see an increase of 30%, 40%
in our client base by April 2000.
287
00:17:08,941 --> 00:17:12,941
Will everybody in favour
please raise their hands ?
288
00:17:15,621 --> 00:17:20,341
Sorry, will everybody in favour
please -- raise -- their hands ?
289
00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:30,981
I spent ages on that.
290
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,821
(SOBS)
291
00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:39,021
-- STAMPS FOOT
292
00:17:39,821 --> 00:17:42,621
-- I want to do my plaaan !
293
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,821
(SOBS)
294
00:17:46,621 --> 00:17:53,221
I want to do my plaaaaaaaaaaa...
295
00:17:53,421 --> 00:17:57,421
..(GASPS) aaaaaaaaaaa...
296
00:17:57,421 --> 00:17:59,021
..nnnn.
297
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:04,301
Why won't... Why-uh won't-uh you-uh
let me do my plan, mm ?
298
00:18:06,421 --> 00:18:11,421
If you don't let me do my plan, I'm
going to hold my breath until I die.
299
00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:13,421
Mm-hm. I am.
300
00:18:28,101 --> 00:18:29,941
Mm-mm-mm.
301
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,741
Mm.
302
00:18:38,021 --> 00:18:39,421
(GASPS)
303
00:18:39,421 --> 00:18:44,341
Thanks. That was unanimous.
It's been a very productive meeting.
304
00:18:44,341 --> 00:18:46,421
See you next week.
305
00:18:47,101 --> 00:18:49,101
-- DUCKS QUACK
306
00:19:01,821 --> 00:19:03,701
PHONE
307
00:19:04,741 --> 00:19:07,741
All right, who's stolen my nipples ?
308
00:19:10,821 --> 00:19:13,821
Sorry. It's all right. They're here.
309
00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:18,541
# SLUSHY MUSIC
310
00:19:18,941 --> 00:19:21,421
-- Oh, God, you're so gorgeous.
311
00:19:21,621 --> 00:19:24,021
There's no-one else like you.
312
00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:28,221
You're the only girl I fancy at work
and I mean that.
313
00:19:28,221 --> 00:19:33,621
It's not just a lust thing. I feel
you're really different, special.
314
00:19:33,621 --> 00:19:35,901
I can talk to you.
315
00:19:37,021 --> 00:19:43,021
I could put in a good word for you
at work. You deserve to be promoted.
316
00:19:44,621 --> 00:19:49,021
But right now I want to make
mad, passionate love to you.
317
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:53,621
I wanna kiss every inch
of your body. I wanna bite your bum.
318
00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:56,741
-- I'm... I'm... I'm just gonna...
319
00:19:56,941 --> 00:19:59,221
..go and put something in.
320
00:19:59,221 --> 00:20:01,821
-- Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
321
00:20:02,621 --> 00:20:04,621
Be quick, though, baby.
322
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,341
Oh, result !
323
00:20:19,821 --> 00:20:22,621
What are you doing? What are those?
324
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,621
-- Earplugs.
325
00:20:24,621 --> 00:20:27,221
So I won't hear your bullshit !
326
00:20:48,821 --> 00:20:53,421
-- ALL: # For she's a jolly good fellow
For she's a jolly good fellow
327
00:20:53,421 --> 00:20:56,421
# For she's a jolly good fellow
328
00:20:56,941 --> 00:20:59,421
# And so say all of us
329
00:20:59,421 --> 00:21:01,421
# And so say...
330
00:21:03,821 --> 00:21:05,621
-- Sorry.
331
00:21:05,621 --> 00:21:08,221
I thought she was someone else.
332
00:21:15,421 --> 00:21:19,741
# I thought maybe / I'd go crazy
333
00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:22,821
# Didn't know what I was worth
334
00:21:23,101 --> 00:21:26,421
# Thought I had to stay on earth
335
00:21:27,741 --> 00:21:30,421
-- ALL: # Can't be frightened...
336
00:21:30,421 --> 00:21:32,621
# ..of aiming higher
337
00:21:32,621 --> 00:21:35,301
# Mustn't hide away and cry
338
00:21:35,701 --> 00:21:40,021
# Spread your wings
and touch the sky
339
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,821
-- # You'll find that your mind...
340
00:21:45,141 --> 00:21:47,821
-- # ..is full of colours
341
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:51,141
# And you'll see that you're free
342
00:21:51,421 --> 00:21:53,941
# To feel colours
343
00:21:54,141 --> 00:21:56,501
# Colours like blue
344
00:21:56,981 --> 00:22:02,541
# And even if it's only
for one day of your life
345
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:05,501
# You've broken through
346
00:22:05,901 --> 00:22:07,661
# Haven't you ?
347
00:22:07,861 --> 00:22:10,141
-- # I will show you
348
00:22:12,221 --> 00:22:18,221
# Life is short
349
00:22:14,061 --> 00:22:18,221
-- # And wide
350
00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:18,221
-- # Don't cry, reach up, you can fly
351
00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:24,421
-- # Life is short
352
00:22:20,461 --> 00:22:24,421
-- # And wide
353
00:22:21,701 --> 00:22:24,421
-- # Don't fight, reach up, fly on by
354
00:22:24,621 --> 00:22:30,821
-- # Life is short
355
00:22:26,781 --> 00:22:30,821
-- # And wide
356
00:22:28,101 --> 00:22:30,821
-- # Don't die, reach up, fly so high
357
00:22:30,821 --> 00:22:38,421
-- # Life is short
358
00:22:33,181 --> 00:22:38,421
-- And wide !
359
00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:38,421
-- # Just fly, reach up, touch the sky
360
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,781
-- # You'll find that your mind...
361
00:22:41,981 --> 00:22:44,741
-- ALL: # ..is full of colours
362
00:22:45,341 --> 00:22:47,901
# And you'll see that you're free
363
00:22:48,301 --> 00:22:50,581
# To feel colours
364
00:22:50,901 --> 00:22:53,181
# Colours like blue
365
00:22:53,901 --> 00:22:59,101
# And even if it's only
for one day of your life
366
00:22:59,941 --> 00:23:02,141
-- # You've broken through
367
00:23:02,421 --> 00:23:04,421
# Haven't you ?
368
00:23:04,621 --> 00:23:07,221
# I will show you #
369
00:23:18,861 --> 00:23:23,781
The pole's quite big, so, when
you attack, don't just whack them.
370
00:23:23,781 --> 00:23:26,021
Because that's gonna hurt.
371
00:23:26,021 --> 00:23:31,421
You've gotta let go with kendo wrists
slightly, and a sort of half-flick.
372
00:23:31,421 --> 00:23:35,021
OK ?
373
00:23:32,421 --> 00:23:35,021
-- Mm-hm.
374
00:23:33,021 --> 00:23:35,021
-- Just try one now.
375
00:23:35,301 --> 00:23:37,501
That's it. And again.
376
00:23:38,021 --> 00:23:40,101
Breaking the wrists.
377
00:23:40,301 --> 00:23:42,301
That's it.
378
00:23:42,701 --> 00:23:44,701
Now try it on me.
379
00:23:50,821 --> 00:23:53,821
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