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1
00:00:07,221 --> 00:00:09,621
-- # Where does our love lie ?
2
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,901
-- # In the middle of nowhere
3
00:00:13,701 --> 00:00:16,101
-- # Why does he pass me by ?
4
00:00:17,021 --> 00:00:19,421
-- # In the middle of nowhere
5
00:00:19,821 --> 00:00:22,421
-- # Oh, baby, won't you tell me
6
00:00:22,621 --> 00:00:24,741
# What am I to do ?
7
00:00:25,021 --> 00:00:27,421
# I'm in the middle of nowhere
8
00:00:27,621 --> 00:00:30,021
# Getting nowhere with you #
9
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:06,421
-- I looked across and realised
"Shit ! She's married to him."
10
00:01:06,421 --> 00:01:09,821
-- God, no. You're joking !
11
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:09,821
-- So embarrassing.
12
00:01:09,821 --> 00:01:14,421
Anyway, Helen, that does bring me
to what I wanted to say.
13
00:01:14,621 --> 00:01:18,421
We've only gone out
for a few months but...
14
00:01:18,421 --> 00:01:21,821
-- Yeah ?
15
00:01:19,021 --> 00:01:21,821
-- I really think... No, I know.
16
00:01:21,821 --> 00:01:24,741
-- Go on.
17
00:01:22,741 --> 00:01:24,741
-- I love you.
18
00:01:24,741 --> 00:01:30,021
I hope you don't think
that's too forward.
19
00:01:26,421 --> 00:01:30,021
-- No. That's great.
20
00:01:30,021 --> 00:01:34,421
I love you too.
21
00:01:31,501 --> 00:01:34,421
-- Really ?
22
00:01:32,021 --> 00:01:34,421
-- Yeah.
23
00:01:34,421 --> 00:01:36,421
-- In that case,...
24
00:01:37,021 --> 00:01:39,421
..how would you feel about...
25
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:41,621
..marrying me ?
26
00:01:41,621 --> 00:01:44,301
-- Oh, God, Alex ! Course I would.
27
00:01:47,021 --> 00:01:48,421
Yes !
28
00:01:48,421 --> 00:01:52,421
I can't believe this is happening.
It's fantastic.
29
00:01:52,621 --> 00:01:59,621
-- You can handle spending
the rest of your life with me ?
30
00:01:56,021 --> 00:01:59,621
-- Yeah. I wanna be with you every day.
31
00:01:59,621 --> 00:02:03,621
It's all I've ever dreamt of.
32
00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:03,621
-- And every night.
33
00:02:03,741 --> 00:02:08,221
-- And every single second
of every minute of every hour.
34
00:02:08,221 --> 00:02:10,621
-- Apart from when I'm at work.
35
00:02:10,621 --> 00:02:12,021
-- Oh.
36
00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:14,221
Fuck it, then.
37
00:02:25,621 --> 00:02:29,621
(HIGH-PITCHED BARK)
38
00:02:26,621 --> 00:02:29,621
-- (LOW GROWL)
39
00:02:33,741 --> 00:02:35,741
BELLS CHIME
40
00:02:44,021 --> 00:02:51,021
-- I've not been before
but my friend came.
41
00:02:46,821 --> 00:02:51,021
-- Shh. Put your head on the cushion.
42
00:02:52,141 --> 00:02:53,621
-- OK.
43
00:03:04,821 --> 00:03:07,981
Right.
44
00:03:05,421 --> 00:03:07,981
-- (BUZZING)
45
00:03:06,021 --> 00:03:07,981
-- It's painful.
46
00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:12,261
I'm near the candles.
47
00:03:09,621 --> 00:03:12,261
-- Shh ! (BUZZING)
48
00:03:15,501 --> 00:03:18,221
# Hugga-mugga, yugga-yugga, mm... #
49
00:03:19,021 --> 00:03:21,101
-- What's this for ?
50
00:03:21,421 --> 00:03:23,421
-- (INHALES)
51
00:03:27,421 --> 00:03:29,341
-- Ow.
52
00:03:27,981 --> 00:03:29,341
-- Sh.
53
00:03:30,221 --> 00:03:32,501
-- This is a bit strange.
54
00:03:37,021 --> 00:03:38,821
-- Ahh !
55
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:44,021
Ahhhh !
56
00:03:46,501 --> 00:03:48,501
AHHHH !
57
00:03:49,741 --> 00:03:51,341
-- Ow !
58
00:03:52,821 --> 00:03:54,821
-- (SUCKS IN)
59
00:03:55,141 --> 00:03:57,141
(HEAVES)
60
00:04:00,421 --> 00:04:03,421
(SUCKS IN, THEN HEAVES)
61
00:04:12,821 --> 00:04:14,221
-- Ow !
62
00:04:14,501 --> 00:04:16,941
That hurts. That hurt before.
63
00:04:17,141 --> 00:04:20,341
-- You see how bad tomatoes are for you?
64
00:04:20,341 --> 00:04:21,941
-- What ?
65
00:04:24,621 --> 00:04:27,621
That hurts a lot.
66
00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:27,621
-- Shh.
67
00:04:27,621 --> 00:04:32,821
-- This isn't for me. Can you stop ?
68
00:04:29,341 --> 00:04:32,821
-- # Mugga, hugga... #
69
00:04:30,021 --> 00:04:32,821
-- Please let go.
70
00:04:33,021 --> 00:04:35,021
-- # Sha-mugga, oh... #
71
00:04:36,021 --> 00:04:38,101
-- Just get off me !
72
00:04:38,621 --> 00:04:41,141
-- Ah !
73
00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:41,141
-- Ow !
74
00:04:44,621 --> 00:04:46,421
-- Goodbye.
75
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,541
-- That hurt.
76
00:04:57,421 --> 00:05:01,421
-- Don't get any closer to the edge.
It's quite a drop.
77
00:05:01,421 --> 00:05:04,221
This is the famous Poet's Leap,...
78
00:05:05,421 --> 00:05:09,821
..so called because
famous Pennine poet William Drurie...
79
00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:12,101
..leapt to his death here,...
80
00:05:12,101 --> 00:05:16,821
..after being spurned
by famous authoress Emily Burrows,...
81
00:05:17,021 --> 00:05:21,621
..who, interestingly enough,
was quite a plain woman. (GIGGLES)
82
00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:24,541
Argh !
83
00:05:31,221 --> 00:05:36,341
-- Erm, this is a very difficult time
for me and all my family.
84
00:05:37,701 --> 00:05:40,301
Billy has now been missing for...
85
00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:45,621
-- (Three days.)
86
00:05:43,341 --> 00:05:45,621
-- ..three whole days.
87
00:05:45,621 --> 00:05:48,621
We still don't know where he is,...
88
00:05:48,621 --> 00:05:51,021
..so I'm bogging anyone...
89
00:05:51,621 --> 00:05:54,341
Is that "bogging" or "begging" ?
90
00:05:54,541 --> 00:05:56,941
Your ears are massive.
91
00:05:57,221 --> 00:06:02,341
I'm begging anyone out there
who might have caught sight of...
92
00:06:03,141 --> 00:06:06,141
What's that supposed to be ? Belly ?
93
00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:08,741
-- Billy.
94
00:06:09,341 --> 00:06:14,341
-- Even if it doesn't seem important
it is to us, so please phone in.
95
00:06:15,021 --> 00:06:20,301
But don't just say "Think carefully.
When was the last time you saw him?"
96
00:06:20,501 --> 00:06:23,101
We've tried that. It didn't work.
97
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,621
-- (WHISPERS)
98
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,421
-- Er...
99
00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:33,941
What was he wearing ?
100
00:06:34,421 --> 00:06:36,421
-- Wasn't it that...
101
00:06:36,421 --> 00:06:43,021
-- Oh, my God.
102
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:43,021
-- ..jumper with patches on his arm ?
103
00:06:39,421 --> 00:06:43,021
-- Oh, my God. I've just remembered.
104
00:06:43,341 --> 00:06:45,621
He's with the Scouts.
105
00:06:47,181 --> 00:06:49,181
He's camping.
106
00:06:49,381 --> 00:06:51,381
(GIGGLES)
107
00:06:52,421 --> 00:06:55,301
He's gone camping, everybody.
108
00:06:58,261 --> 00:06:59,861
Sorry.
109
00:07:05,221 --> 00:07:07,221
-- Ooh, dear.
110
00:07:10,261 --> 00:07:11,861
-- BEEP
111
00:07:12,861 --> 00:07:17,781
I like to go out with blokes with
long, hairy, fat, tattooed arms...
112
00:07:17,781 --> 00:07:20,301
..that drag along the floor.
113
00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:25,221
Erm, most of the blokes that I've...
been with - pardon my French -
114
00:07:25,221 --> 00:07:29,821
..have had ordinary-length arms
with no embellishments.
115
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,701
Did I say arms ?
116
00:07:32,901 --> 00:07:34,901
I meant penises.
117
00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:36,701
Or peni.
118
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,421
BEEP
119
00:07:40,421 --> 00:07:45,021
-- (AMERICAN) Um, I'm looking
for a guy who thinks like I do.
120
00:07:45,021 --> 00:07:49,421
Do we really need food
or is it just a habit ?
121
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:55,541
You know at the beach, you pick up
a shell and you can hear the sea ?
122
00:07:55,741 --> 00:08:00,341
Well, if you pick up your shoe,
can you hear your footsteps ?
123
00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:04,941
Oh, well, if you think like I do,...
124
00:08:05,821 --> 00:08:07,421
..then...
125
00:08:09,301 --> 00:08:10,901
..then...
126
00:08:14,501 --> 00:08:15,901
Hm...
127
00:08:18,421 --> 00:08:21,421
-- # RADIO: NILSSON - "Without You"
128
00:08:21,621 --> 00:08:24,021
# Yes, it shows
129
00:08:27,421 --> 00:08:31,421
# No, I can't forget tomorrow
130
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,421
-- # ..get tomorrow
131
00:08:31,421 --> 00:08:35,821
-- # When I think of all my sorrow
--# When I... 'k of all my sorrow
132
00:08:35,821 --> 00:08:42,341
-- # Well, I...
133
00:08:36,221 --> 00:08:42,341
-- # (TUNELESS) ..had you there
but then I let you go
134
00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:48,941
# And now it's only fair
that I should let you know
135
00:08:49,621 --> 00:08:53,021
# What you should know
136
00:08:58,021 --> 00:09:01,021
# Can't liiiiive...
137
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:04,741
# If living is without you
138
00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:07,821
# Can't liiiiive
139
00:09:09,021 --> 00:09:12,421
# Can't give any more
140
00:09:12,701 --> 00:09:16,101
-- # I can't (HOLDS NOTE) live...
141
00:09:16,621 --> 00:09:19,621
# If living is without you
142
00:09:20,021 --> 00:09:23,341
# I can't live...
143
00:09:23,741 --> 00:09:29,221
# I can't take any more... oh, oh
144
00:09:29,421 --> 00:09:32,421
-- RADIO: # Well, I can't forget...
145
00:09:36,421 --> 00:09:43,021
# But I...
146
00:09:37,021 --> 00:09:43,021
-- # (TRIES TO SHOW OFF) ..guess that's
just the wa-ay the stor-ory go-oes
147
00:09:43,421 --> 00:09:50,421
# What... smile but in your e-eyes
your sorrow sho-o-o-o-ws
148
00:09:50,901 --> 00:09:56,021
# Yes, it...
149
00:09:51,621 --> 00:09:56,021
-- # (CLEAR NOTE) ..shows
150
00:09:58,821 --> 00:10:02,141
-- # Can't live...
151
00:09:59,221 --> 00:10:02,141
-- # (SHRIEKS) ..live !
152
00:10:02,341 --> 00:10:05,741
# If living is without you-ou
153
00:10:05,901 --> 00:10:09,221
# I can't li-ive
154
00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:12,621
# I can't give any more
155
00:10:12,901 --> 00:10:16,901
# I can't...
156
00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:16,901
-- # (OPERATIC) I can't live
157
00:10:17,101 --> 00:10:20,021
# If living is without you
158
00:10:20,501 --> 00:10:23,501
# I can't live
159
00:10:23,901 --> 00:10:27,141
# I can't take any more #
160
00:10:27,341 --> 00:10:29,341
-- (SCREAMS)
161
00:10:31,821 --> 00:10:33,821
Paper cut.
162
00:10:39,541 --> 00:10:46,141
-- RADIO: "..we'll send you champagne.
Driving on the M6, listening to us."
163
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,021
-- # MUDDY WATERS: "Mannish Boy"
164
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,741
# CLASSICAL MUSIC
165
00:11:57,021 --> 00:12:00,021
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
166
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,021
"Oh, yes !"
167
00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:04,421
"From the youngsters
a quite enchanting free programme."
168
00:12:05,621 --> 00:12:10,621
"You can hear just what the crowd
here in Prague made of that."
169
00:12:13,821 --> 00:12:18,221
"So the culmination
of many months of hard work...
170
00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:21,621
..for Irina and Alexei."
171
00:12:23,021 --> 00:12:30,021
"Anything better than 5.7s and 5.8s
should put them into the lead."
172
00:12:33,341 --> 00:12:35,941
"The marks for technical merit."
173
00:12:36,141 --> 00:12:38,541
"They are very, very good."
174
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:42,541
"Oh, and there's a 6
from the Swiss judge !"
175
00:12:42,541 --> 00:12:44,941
"The rest are 5.9s and 5.8s."
176
00:12:44,941 --> 00:12:47,941
"Coach and mentor Maria Kiriakov...
177
00:12:48,141 --> 00:12:50,941
..should be very happy with those."
178
00:12:51,741 --> 00:12:57,741
"We can feel the tension as we await
the marks for artistic impression."
179
00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:02,421
"It's bubbling up
for a terrific climax this evening."
180
00:13:02,421 --> 00:13:05,021
"Here are the second set of marks."
181
00:13:05,021 --> 00:13:09,621
"There are one, two, three 6s.
The rest are 5.9s."
182
00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:12,301
"That will do. That will do..."
183
00:13:15,021 --> 00:13:19,901
-- I don't know what to do. He was
so horrible. And it's been two days.
184
00:13:19,901 --> 00:13:24,901
Am I supposed to ring him
or wait for him to phone me ?
185
00:13:25,101 --> 00:13:29,421
I don't know what to do.
This time it wasn't my fault.
186
00:13:29,421 --> 00:13:34,421
It was just him being horrible
and bad-tempered and really...
187
00:13:34,421 --> 00:13:37,421
..sort of... just obnoxious.
188
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:41,141
And... I'm not really sure...
189
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,621
..what I ought to do,...
190
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:46,421
..because I don't know what to...
191
00:13:47,021 --> 00:13:49,621
I don't know. What do you... ?
192
00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:52,021
-- Ouch.
193
00:13:50,421 --> 00:13:52,021
-- Sorry.
194
00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:55,021
-- I don't think you should ring him.
195
00:13:53,421 --> 00:13:55,021
-- Why ?
196
00:13:55,021 --> 00:13:57,901
-- He's too old for you and he's...
197
00:13:58,101 --> 00:13:59,701
..short.
198
00:13:59,701 --> 00:14:04,421
Has that left a mark ?
199
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:04,421
-- No. I think you're right actually.
200
00:14:12,621 --> 00:14:20,621
-- Upper left - eight, seven, six,
five, four, three, two and one.
201
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,501
Clear.
202
00:14:23,101 --> 00:14:28,821
Lower left -
eight, seven, six, five, four...
203
00:14:29,621 --> 00:14:31,421
(BURPS)
204
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,901
Pardon me. Three...
205
00:14:34,381 --> 00:14:37,261
Fliss, could I have a fresh probe ?
206
00:14:39,821 --> 00:14:41,821
Thank you.
207
00:14:42,621 --> 00:14:47,221
Three. Yes, you have got a cavity.
I'll deal with that later.
208
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,221
(BURPS)
209
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:53,821
Pardon me once more.
Had a fizzy drink earlier.
210
00:14:54,021 --> 00:14:57,341
Shouldn't really. Rots your teeth !
211
00:14:57,621 --> 00:15:00,221
And two and one. Clear.
212
00:15:01,341 --> 00:15:03,181
(BURPS)
213
00:15:03,421 --> 00:15:07,221
Wasn't that a woofer ?
Fliss, freshener maybe.
214
00:15:07,221 --> 00:15:10,101
Could you hold that for me, please ?
215
00:15:10,101 --> 00:15:11,861
-- (COUGHS)
216
00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:15,621
-- OK.
217
00:15:15,621 --> 00:15:19,021
And upper right. Eight and...
218
00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:26,421
-- (BURPS) Excuse me.
219
00:15:21,101 --> 00:15:26,421
-- She's eating a curry. We both are.
220
00:15:24,101 --> 00:15:26,421
-- Meat biryani. Disgusting.
221
00:15:26,421 --> 00:15:28,301
-- (BURPS)
--(BURPS)
222
00:15:28,501 --> 00:15:32,141
-- I am foul !
223
00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:32,141
-- (BURPS) Excuse me.
224
00:15:32,341 --> 00:15:35,341
I've got one trapped. Could you... ?
225
00:15:35,621 --> 00:15:37,621
-- Give you a pat ?
226
00:15:39,421 --> 00:15:41,421
-- (BURPS)
227
00:15:42,621 --> 00:15:46,221
(Excuse me.)
228
00:15:43,621 --> 00:15:46,221
-- They all gone ?
229
00:15:48,221 --> 00:15:49,221
-- No.
230
00:15:52,341 --> 00:15:54,021
-- BEEP
231
00:15:54,741 --> 00:15:59,021
(POSH) Hello. I'm Margaret,
I'm 46 and I've never come.
232
00:15:59,021 --> 00:16:04,221
I think I did once but my friends say
if I'm not sure, I probably didn't.
233
00:16:04,221 --> 00:16:06,221
I was just wondering...
234
00:16:06,221 --> 00:16:08,221
Is this it ?
235
00:16:08,221 --> 00:16:10,821
(HIGH-PITCHED) Mmmmm !
236
00:16:11,021 --> 00:16:13,021
Or is this it ?
237
00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:15,621
Ow... Ow...
238
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,421
Ow ! Owooooh !
239
00:16:18,701 --> 00:16:20,101
Oh.
240
00:16:20,101 --> 00:16:22,101
Or is this it ?
241
00:16:22,301 --> 00:16:25,421
(SQUELCHY) Pft-pft-pft-pft !
242
00:16:27,341 --> 00:16:29,621
Or... is this it ?
243
00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:33,621
Hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh !
244
00:16:35,821 --> 00:16:37,901
Just not too sure.
245
00:16:39,621 --> 00:16:41,021
BEEP
246
00:16:42,061 --> 00:16:46,021
-- I was nearly Miss Ireland
but my left hand is massive.
247
00:16:46,021 --> 00:16:50,621
But men like it and I keep it
behind my back most of the time.
248
00:16:51,741 --> 00:16:53,741
-- SIRENS
249
00:16:58,021 --> 00:17:02,941
-- All right ?
250
00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:02,941
-- All right.
251
00:17:00,421 --> 00:17:02,941
-- I've got to, er,...
252
00:17:03,141 --> 00:17:06,021
fill one of these in at some stage.
253
00:17:06,021 --> 00:17:08,421
-- Right. Yeah.
254
00:17:08,901 --> 00:17:11,821
-- Can you help me with that at all ?
255
00:17:12,221 --> 00:17:16,821
Route.
256
00:17:13,341 --> 00:17:16,821
-- Route ? It's your basic 72 route.
257
00:17:16,821 --> 00:17:21,821
Erm,... I've done it a million times.
I could do it with my eyes shut.
258
00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:25,621
I didn't. Could've.
259
00:17:26,141 --> 00:17:28,621
-- So it's your usual route.
260
00:17:28,621 --> 00:17:32,581
-- Obviously there are differences
towards the end.
261
00:17:32,781 --> 00:17:37,621
-- Can you tell me anything else ?
I've got quite a lot of room.
262
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:43,621
-- I did a left into Radison Road,
then straight on, then second left -
263
00:17:43,621 --> 00:17:46,021
..left turn into Maple Avenue.
264
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:50,621
Straight on. Left into Cresswell.
Left again into River Street.
265
00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:56,621
I looked at that thumb
and thought it was so much bigger,
I'd be lopsided forever.
266
00:17:56,621 --> 00:17:58,621
So I just...
267
00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:02,221
-- What could that be in words ?
268
00:18:02,621 --> 00:18:05,221
-- I think I maybe took a right.
269
00:18:06,341 --> 00:18:09,341
-- (Can't turn right. Go into river.)
270
00:18:10,821 --> 00:18:13,421
-- Yeah. Well, I know that now.
271
00:18:17,421 --> 00:18:19,421
-- So I'm still...
272
00:18:20,341 --> 00:18:22,821
..still confused as to this...
273
00:18:23,021 --> 00:18:25,701
..Cause Of Incident question.
274
00:18:27,341 --> 00:18:32,021
-- It was probably a case of going
too many lefts. Can you put that ?
275
00:18:32,021 --> 00:18:37,021
-- Probably not, no.
276
00:18:33,421 --> 00:18:37,021
-- "I swerved to avoid a bunny" ?
277
00:18:37,021 --> 00:18:39,061
-- Is that a lie ?
278
00:18:39,061 --> 00:18:40,461
-- Yeah.
279
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,101
Are you gonna tell my mum ?
280
00:18:44,301 --> 00:18:47,301
-- Not personally but she may find out.
281
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,821
-- Cor, that's a big heron !
282
00:18:59,941 --> 00:19:02,341
-- She's legged it, hasn't she ?
283
00:19:05,741 --> 00:19:07,781
That's annoying.
284
00:19:08,141 --> 00:19:10,541
-- # HARP AND WHISTLE
285
00:19:10,741 --> 00:19:13,341
-- 'In an uncertain world,...
286
00:19:13,941 --> 00:19:16,221
..in uncertain times,...
287
00:19:17,421 --> 00:19:19,501
..they will prosper.'
288
00:19:20,021 --> 00:19:22,101
'They will triumph.'
289
00:19:23,821 --> 00:19:26,421
'They'll always be loved.'
290
00:19:27,341 --> 00:19:30,021
'They'll never be out of work.'
291
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:34,741
'They're... People Who Look Irish.'
292
00:19:40,421 --> 00:19:42,421
-- Hi. I'm in a hurry.
293
00:19:42,421 --> 00:19:46,621
I bought this camera the other day
and it's packed in.
294
00:19:46,621 --> 00:19:48,941
-- You've not dropped it ?
295
00:19:48,941 --> 00:19:52,941
-- I'd know if I had.
I'm really not happy about this.
296
00:19:53,701 --> 00:19:58,621
-- Maybe one of the kids was messing.
297
00:19:55,621 --> 00:19:58,621
-- I haven't got any children !
298
00:19:59,621 --> 00:20:01,621
(GIGGLES)
299
00:20:01,621 --> 00:20:04,421
Haven't got any children !
300
00:20:06,701 --> 00:20:08,701
I, erm,...
301
00:20:09,661 --> 00:20:12,261
..I haven't got any... children.
302
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:16,541
I haven't got any bloody children !
303
00:20:19,421 --> 00:20:22,421
-- All right. It could be the battery.
304
00:20:25,101 --> 00:20:26,581
-- BEEP
305
00:20:26,781 --> 00:20:28,501
-- Hello.
306
00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:31,741
My name is Alice.
307
00:20:33,581 --> 00:20:35,581
(WHINES)
308
00:20:37,261 --> 00:20:39,141
(HOWLS)
309
00:20:39,741 --> 00:20:41,141
Hello.
310
00:20:41,621 --> 00:20:43,421
My name is...
311
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:44,781
Ahhhh...
312
00:20:46,421 --> 00:20:47,861
Alice.
313
00:20:56,821 --> 00:20:59,821
-- # I'm just a simple girl / I'm...
314
00:21:00,021 --> 00:21:02,421
# ..ordinary / I've got...
315
00:21:02,421 --> 00:21:06,661
# ..funny little habits
that girls always seem to have
316
00:21:07,021 --> 00:21:09,621
# And those little things I do
317
00:21:09,821 --> 00:21:12,301
# Are what most girls like to do
318
00:21:13,741 --> 00:21:16,181
# I'm just a simple girl / So...
319
00:21:16,621 --> 00:21:19,021
# ..ordinary / And you...
320
00:21:19,221 --> 00:21:23,661
# ..knew that when you met me
And that's really fine by you
321
00:21:23,861 --> 00:21:26,221
# But there's something else to say
322
00:21:26,621 --> 00:21:28,621
# There are times...
323
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,021
# ..when I am a horse
324
00:21:33,421 --> 00:21:37,821
-- # BOTH: Ooh... and I go
neigh, neigh, neigh-neigh-neigh
325
00:21:38,061 --> 00:21:44,061
# It's OK / Just have to saddle me up
and sometimes stroke my nose
326
00:21:44,701 --> 00:21:46,061
# Ooh
327
00:21:46,341 --> 00:21:49,141
# If I can't do dressage I will die
328
00:21:49,661 --> 00:21:52,061
# Nothing else can turn me on
329
00:21:52,381 --> 00:21:55,381
-- # It's the thing I like the most
330
00:21:56,221 --> 00:22:01,381
# I'm just a simple girl / I...
don't need diamonds / I just...
331
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:06,621
# ..need to be quite near a stable
and a fresh supply of hay
332
00:22:06,861 --> 00:22:09,101
# It's not very much to ask
333
00:22:09,421 --> 00:22:12,421
# To have a sugar lump close at hand
334
00:22:12,621 --> 00:22:15,021
-- # Sugar lump, sugar, sugar
335
00:22:15,021 --> 00:22:17,061
# Ah, ooh
336
00:22:17,501 --> 00:22:20,421
# If I can't do dressage I will die
337
00:22:20,741 --> 00:22:26,621
# But you know you mustn't crack
your whip, or use excessive force
338
00:22:26,821 --> 00:22:28,341
# Ooh
339
00:22:28,621 --> 00:22:31,421
# If you dig your spurs in I will cry
340
00:22:31,981 --> 00:22:34,421
# Don't you try to make me canter
341
00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:36,821
-- # Cos I'm not
342
00:22:36,821 --> 00:22:39,821
# I'm not that kind of horse #
343
00:22:40,421 --> 00:22:42,421
(SNORTS)
344
00:22:48,421 --> 00:22:50,421
-- # DANCE MUSIC
345
00:22:50,621 --> 00:22:52,621
TOILET FLUSHES
346
00:23:24,021 --> 00:23:27,021
intelfax subtitles
HELEN FAULKNER
23592
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