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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,860 Every year, retailers lose $45 billion to shoplifters. Can I leave? No, you 2 00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:08,440 can't. Am I under arrest? These women are caught on hidden camera and are 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:14,240 prosecuted to the fullest extent, all on video, only on Shoplifter MILF. 4 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:23,980 This is absolutely ridiculous. I can't even... Look, just... Maybe you 5 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:27,320 Maybe you're not saying anything that would be better for you. Let's just sit 6 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:28,320 right down. 7 00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:32,030 The least you say. You don't want to incriminate yourself. 8 00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:36,730 I have done nothing wrong. I am an upstanding member of this community. 9 00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:40,550 Sure. I get it. 10 00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:48,350 But I have some footage of you and close character Kellerman taking those heels. 11 00:00:48,650 --> 00:00:50,390 That's ridiculous. I walked in with these shoes. 12 00:00:51,590 --> 00:00:56,330 You may have walked in them shoes like into the office with them, but you were 13 00:00:56,330 --> 00:00:58,250 caught taking them. You had flip -flops on. 14 00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:04,370 Anyway, if you choose to not say anything, that's probably better off. I 15 00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:06,890 to, on the other hand, I have to read and get some paperwork. 16 00:01:07,590 --> 00:01:09,310 Is there anything you want to declare? 17 00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:12,350 Declare? Is it custom? 18 00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:15,050 No. You want to make a statement? 19 00:01:16,430 --> 00:01:17,430 No. 20 00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,230 Well, then, I'll be back. 21 00:01:19,490 --> 00:01:20,490 See you right there. 22 00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:24,010 And have some time with your thoughts. 23 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,470 Maybe I should just tell him who my husband is. 24 00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:42,830 Sorry to keep you waiting. 25 00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:48,090 I'm sure you've discovered my husband and I are very involved in the church, 26 00:07:48,090 --> 00:07:49,430 this is absolutely absurd. 27 00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:52,970 That's, uh, that's great. 28 00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:55,750 Great. 29 00:07:57,350 --> 00:08:04,190 I am going to need some 30 00:08:04,190 --> 00:08:07,750 identification. Also, I want you to be aware of something. 31 00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:11,920 You realize we have... Cameras in this room, right? 32 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:19,080 I'm not, I mean, little surveillance cameras. 33 00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:24,700 So I'm aware of what you've managed to take here. 34 00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:29,160 So let's address that another time. Do you have any identification? 35 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,240 I'm going to need your identification. 36 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,799 I have a condition. 37 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,600 A condition? 38 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,900 I just can't help myself. I mean... 39 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:44,720 My husband's very involved in the church, and I'm happy to pay for all of 40 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,320 things. We can, 100%, I am so sorry. 41 00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:51,860 It's just, I'm so poor at home. 42 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:57,960 And I'm so good all the time. I just, I just need a little bit of a thrill. 43 00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:03,280 You have to understand, we can call my psychiatrist, and like I said, I am 44 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,680 to pay for all of these items. 45 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,800 Well, that's very unfortunate, ma 'am. 46 00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:12,340 Sorry to hear this, but it's a little too late for that. 47 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,880 It's called kleptomania. 48 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,660 And it's just sometimes when I get stressed. 49 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:26,360 I don't want to steal. You're compelled to steal. No need to be 50 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,360 upset. 51 00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:35,020 I have a job to do, okay? And I have protocol to... 52 00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:42,500 Here, I'll let you get yourself together here. 53 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,860 Please don't call my house. 54 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:54,200 Look, there's no reason to call your husband. Unfortunately, I'm going to 55 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,119 to call the police. 56 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,120 No. 57 00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:59,880 No, that would be part of public record. 58 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,080 Absolutely. 59 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:09,500 That's why maybe your choice is to... It's not a choice. I can't help it. 60 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,120 my doctor. 61 00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:15,160 Can we please? Well, let's do this. Let's go back. 62 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,180 I'm going to need to have your identification. 63 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,340 Let's do that first, because I want to just... Yeah, 64 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,240 let's start with your identification. 65 00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:31,220 Honestly, I don't even have identification on me. I just... I just 66 00:10:31,220 --> 00:10:35,660 sunglasses, which... That's it. I just have my sunglasses. I don't even have my 67 00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,100 ID. I don't have my wallet. 68 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,340 Let's start with your name. We can call the bank. 69 00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:41,860 Let's start with your name. 70 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,960 Mrs. Keeley. K -E -E -L -Y. 71 00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:48,260 K -E -E -L -Y. 72 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,700 What's your first name? 73 00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:58,300 I am the wife. 74 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,220 Susan? Linda? 75 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,180 Tina? Ryan. 76 00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:05,060 Okay. 77 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,180 Where do you reside? That's important. 78 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:09,800 all this information. 79 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,860 3512 Pensacola Avenue. 80 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,200 Okay. 81 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,880 Chatsworth. Of course. 82 00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:22,640 Do 83 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:30,200 you 84 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,200 have a tissue? 85 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:32,520 A tissue. 86 00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:42,190 This is paper towel. It's very soft. 87 00:11:46,710 --> 00:11:51,070 Are you going to be alright? 88 00:11:54,270 --> 00:11:56,850 Alright. Let's start with this. 89 00:11:57,610 --> 00:12:02,250 I'm going to have to take your purse from you and do a search. 90 00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:04,470 I'm going to have to search your purse. 91 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,990 Is there anything that you just 92 00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:09,890 It's not meaningful. 93 00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:11,150 Recently acquired. 94 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:17,570 There's a tie in there. I thought it'd be lovely for my husband. I have such a 95 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,570 good wife. 96 00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:19,670 I don't doubt that. 97 00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:25,070 Unfortunately, you have a little bit of a shortcoming here, and that's your 98 00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,290 shoplifter. 99 00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:29,250 Or kleptomania. 100 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,290 I can get my checkbook from the car, I swear. 101 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,050 I'm going to have to ask you to stand up. 102 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,740 If you don't mind. 103 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:47,240 I'll do my best to stay within protocol guidelines, but 104 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:53,860 I'm going to need to give a couple photographs. 105 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,780 I'm going to back up a little bit. 106 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,980 Yeah, unfortunately we have to document this particular. 107 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,120 Stay right there. There you go. 108 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,420 If you could turn to the side a little profile. 109 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:13,800 Yeah, that's fine. 110 00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:14,860 Ah, 111 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,200 yes, I see. 112 00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:21,680 Uh, yeah, okay, you can have a seat. 113 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,380 Grandpa, you know what? Come right here. 114 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,020 I'm going to need to frisk you. 115 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,440 So... Only my husband's supposed to touch me. 116 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:35,840 Well, I'll... 117 00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:50,130 If you could spread your... Oh! 118 00:13:50,550 --> 00:13:52,970 Just separate, just a little bit. There you go. 119 00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:56,050 Sorry, 120 00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:58,230 but... Oh! 121 00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:02,570 It's part of the... Part of the... Part of the procedure. 122 00:14:04,270 --> 00:14:05,270 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 123 00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:11,910 Last one. I have to... I know, it's... 124 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:24,190 I need you to disrobe. 125 00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:27,170 It's part of the protocol, unfortunately. 126 00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:33,070 It's my job as head of security here at the store to conduct this particular 127 00:14:33,070 --> 00:14:35,650 search. So if you could cooperate, that would be fantastic. 128 00:14:36,550 --> 00:14:40,550 I know you have a condition, kleptomania, but here we go. Can we 129 00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:41,570 call me as a psychiatrist? 130 00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:47,890 I will, but as I said, we're actually being filmed. 131 00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:51,230 You're filming me? 132 00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:58,340 It's not for any other use than evidence for the store in order to prosecute 133 00:14:58,340 --> 00:14:59,340 should we have to. 134 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,040 We look like we will. 135 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:07,920 I don't want to be in a dirty movie. It's not a dirty movie by any means. 136 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:15,260 Look, maybe this is... Maybe it's better that we have the authorities come 137 00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:16,260 down here and handle this. 138 00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:17,780 Oh no, anything but that. 139 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,480 Please, absolutely. 140 00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:22,210 Okay, okay. Here, let me see this. 141 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,610 Don't call. Whatever you do, don't call the cops. 142 00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:27,190 I have to just search. 143 00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,210 Make sure you don't have anything else. 144 00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:32,270 Because it's not your fault, right? 145 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:33,590 You're a klepto. 146 00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:35,990 It's not your fault. 147 00:15:37,410 --> 00:15:42,170 I'm trying to be as sensitive as I can to your condition. 148 00:15:47,820 --> 00:15:51,580 However, I'm going to need to ask you to remove your bra and panties. 149 00:15:54,000 --> 00:16:00,920 Again, I don't have a female that could help assist this, but I'll 150 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,100 just turn away for a moment. 151 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,720 And keep yourself covered. 152 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,460 Yeah, just go ahead and put stuff there on the table. 153 00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:26,390 Okay, 154 00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:32,770 you know I'm gonna have to ask you to take the shoes off too because these are 155 00:16:32,770 --> 00:16:39,170 Merchandise 156 00:16:39,170 --> 00:16:46,130 Good choice though either my favorite All 157 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:53,130 right You'd be 158 00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:59,340 surprised what people do and where they put stuff I found some really amazing 159 00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:05,619 things I never would even expect to find hidden in their personal belongings and 160 00:17:05,619 --> 00:17:06,819 on their person themselves 161 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,099 worshiply conduct the body cavity search. 162 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,180 Oh, absolutely not. 163 00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:31,660 Okay. 164 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,740 Well, you leave me no choice. 165 00:17:33,980 --> 00:17:35,360 No, no, no. Don't call the cops. 166 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:43,180 Okay. I'm going to have to ask you to stand where I'm at. Just like right 167 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,180 Put your hands like this on the table. 168 00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:47,660 Okay. 169 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:54,540 Comfortable? 170 00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:56,500 No? Well, of course not. 171 00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:59,400 So, this is going to have to hold. 172 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:09,100 Okay, you can just... You 173 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:16,080 can just stay right there for a moment. I have to... 174 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:22,220 I have to document this, if that's alright. 175 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,220 Yeah, let me just stay right there. 176 00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:38,600 I'm trying to make this as quick as possible. 177 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,120 Alright. 178 00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,740 I mean, 179 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:52,040 this kind of happens quite often. 180 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:59,740 Alright, I'm going to need to remove this in order for me to do this. 181 00:19:00,199 --> 00:19:01,980 Maybe you can assist me in that. 182 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,220 I know it's a little strange. Hold on a second. 183 00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:15,140 I definitely want to... I definitely want to... I have 184 00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:18,280 to document this. If you could pull it out of there. 185 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,120 Nice and easy. 186 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:35,300 Could you, I know it's, could you pull that cheek? 187 00:19:36,580 --> 00:19:38,320 Use both hands to pull the cheek. 188 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,380 Yeah, 189 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,140 there you go. 190 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,700 I'm going to have to probe a little deeper. 191 00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:05,860 Just kind of stay right there if you don't mind. 192 00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:15,240 You would probably be better off just remaining in that position and looking 193 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:19,240 forward because you don't want to contort yourself. 194 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,760 You're going to feel a little pressure. 195 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:10,680 What is that? 196 00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:17,620 Wow. 197 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:27,140 This is just... This is definitely first. 198 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:31,600 You're doing good. Stay right there. 199 00:22:07,370 --> 00:22:09,490 Um, just... This feels different. 200 00:22:10,290 --> 00:22:12,270 Um... Look, 201 00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:18,990 I'm gonna... Here. 202 00:22:19,370 --> 00:22:25,290 Look, uh... Alright. 203 00:22:28,070 --> 00:22:34,470 I suggest that... You don't want to call, right? 204 00:22:39,310 --> 00:22:40,530 kick me off the PTA. 205 00:22:42,010 --> 00:22:48,310 It's terrible. Look, why don't you just let me conduct my version of this body 206 00:22:48,310 --> 00:22:49,310 count and search. 207 00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:54,270 And... I couldn't even read ahead of the whole word. 208 00:22:54,690 --> 00:23:00,390 That would be bad anyway. 209 00:23:00,930 --> 00:23:03,590 They could paint the mailboxes any color. 210 00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:05,210 Any color mailbox. 211 00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:06,650 Look, you know what? 212 00:23:06,810 --> 00:23:08,290 One color is probably best. 213 00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:09,620 All the things. 214 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,120 Exactly. Exactly. 215 00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:12,500 You understand. 216 00:23:13,260 --> 00:23:15,700 Hedges can't be high, too high. Can't see. 217 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:18,880 Everything. 218 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:27,400 How about... Think about that. Yeah, think about the HOA and how 219 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,860 terrible they are. 220 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,780 The HOA is an important organization. 221 00:23:33,340 --> 00:23:36,240 No, it's important, but how terrible they are that they didn't choose you. 222 00:23:53,070 --> 00:23:54,070 Do I gotta keep the shoes? 223 00:23:54,550 --> 00:23:55,710 I'll let you have the shoes. 224 00:23:55,930 --> 00:23:57,790 Absolutely. And you'll destroy all the footage? 225 00:23:58,130 --> 00:23:59,730 Totally. Destroy it all. 226 00:24:26,380 --> 00:24:29,660 I'll just stand here and you can push back. 227 00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:24,790 right, you know? 228 00:26:26,070 --> 00:26:27,490 Get yourself out of trouble. 229 00:26:28,050 --> 00:26:31,310 Oh, yes. This is for my family. 230 00:26:31,630 --> 00:26:32,630 Yeah. 231 00:27:04,620 --> 00:27:06,420 This is terrible. 232 00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:10,500 You 233 00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:17,800 can't 234 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,100 just use my asshole like we did in Catholic school. 235 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:31,320 Whatever you want. 236 00:28:10,510 --> 00:28:11,510 And I'll be out of that? 237 00:28:12,050 --> 00:28:15,230 Yeah, you'll be walking out of here in no time with a nice pair of heels. 238 00:28:15,670 --> 00:28:16,670 We'll delete the footage. 239 00:28:17,230 --> 00:28:18,730 Totally. You promise? 240 00:28:19,050 --> 00:28:21,370 Sure, I'll go in the office and delete it off the hard drive. 241 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:46,896 Thank you. 242 00:29:22,100 --> 00:29:24,380 You like the tissue? Yeah. 243 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,780 Oh my god. 244 00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:38,660 This is my favorite, you know that? 245 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:30,320 Yeah. 246 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:49,680 I can't let my reputation get worlded. I am an outstanding pillar of the 247 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:50,680 community. 248 00:42:00,910 --> 00:42:01,910 FUCKING HURT! 249 00:46:22,060 --> 00:46:23,440 Check out who the pussy my asshole is. 250 00:46:53,420 --> 00:46:54,420 Oh, my God. 251 00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:18,020 You can go and make the footage and nobody will know nothing. 252 00:53:19,260 --> 00:53:20,260 Do you think that's a promise? 253 00:53:20,620 --> 00:53:21,620 I read the book. 254 00:53:21,980 --> 00:53:22,980 Absolutely. 255 00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:25,900 Here. 256 00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:27,480 Yeah, keep your shoes. 257 00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:30,700 Paper towels if you want. 258 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:34,360 Don't forget your bike. 259 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:45,760 If you ever want to come back and feel more, I mean, see me. 260 00:53:46,100 --> 00:53:48,000 I hope I never see you again. I know. 261 00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:50,120 That would be truthful. 262 00:53:52,940 --> 00:53:55,480 Can I have some privacy? 263 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:58,120 Can I have some privacy? 264 00:53:58,380 --> 00:53:59,380 Oh, absolutely. 265 00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:02,560 My life back together. Yes, yes. 266 00:54:02,780 --> 00:54:04,440 Okay, just hold you down the hall here. 18744