All language subtitles for High Maintenance (2016) S02E03 Namaste

♪ I'm scared enough ♪

♪ Feel like
we're sinking so deep ♪

♪ Oh, baby boy ♪

♪ What they don't know,
they won't see ♪

♪ Hearing it on the radio,
they're trying to reach us... ♪

The last one I bought
had a branch the size
of my pinky.

You need to give me
a discount.

When you getting
vape pens?

When I give you
a discount. Never.

Look, I'm just trying
to help you out, D.

'Cause these white boys,
they got edibles,
oils, vape pens.

I'm just saying, bruh,
you need to step your game up.

Nah. You're right.

But let me ask you, though,

you think
those white boys
gonna come to your crib

when you drunk-dial them
at 3:00 in the morning

and wait outside
for a half hour

while you're passed out
in the bathtub...

...then get cussed out
'cause you forgot you called

and have no idea
why Damien is banging
on your window

at what's now 3:30
in the morning...

Here, I apologize.
...only to find out you
ain't got no cash on you

'cause you left
your purse at the ATM?

Which is like leaving
your teeth at the dentist,
by the way.

Okay, I get it.
But am I tripping?

Nah. 'Cause it's "D," right?

I'ma hold you down.

That's the type
of shit that--

Fuck!
What's up?

I gotta go, yo.

You got a lighter?
Yo, like, seriously?

You got to go too,
so I don't know

why you sitting down.
I got a client.

You out here leaving
Yelp reviews while
your life is falling apart.

Yo, seriously. Come on.
Step your game up, Regine.

Hey, hey, hey,
watch the beatin'.
That's disrespectful.

Come on, man!

Okay.

♪ I got my head on a dip ♪

Hey.
Hey.

♪ And the number four ♪

♪ I probably give my seat... ♪

Moe.
Moe: Hey, baby.

I heard your son
was looking for a spot.

♪ I'm a hard working hand ♪

What can I help you
with today?

Thank you so much
for waiting.

If you'll just come
to my desk,

I'll get you
some amazing listings.

Are we talking
about commercial properties
or residential properties?

Trust me. Buying
a brownstone in Brooklyn
is the way to go.

I'm actually trying
to do it myself.

♪ 'Cause I'm
a hard working hand ♪

Okay.

Oh, this is great.
Yes!

Yeah, I like it.
Brand-new
hardwood floors.

They're beautiful.
Top-of-the-line appliances.

Oh, fun fact:

This building
was actually a stop
on the Underground Railroad.

Are you serious?
What?

Yes. Historical landmark.

That's amazing.
Yes!

Now, check out
this bedroom, you guys.

Look at this closet.
Joanne: The priority.

It's gonna blow
your mind, girl.
Joanne: Let's see

if I can fit my things.
Oh, this is good.

It's spacious, right? Yeah.
Joanne:
This is totally doable.

The mantle, I think,
is so classy.

A statement piece.
Yeah.

Very beautiful.
Yeah.

If you want this unit,
it's the last one
in the building,

and it's yours.

What you think?
It's great.

We-- we just need
a few days to--
Yeah, I like it.

We're good for the deposit.

I just need a few days
to get the letter
from my new boss.

I have
old pay stubs, but--
No worries.

If you need a few days,
old pay stub is fine.

I got you.
This is BK.
Word?

My people. I got you.

We appreciate that,
for real.
Regine: Yeah.

Thank you.
This is great!
Thank you so much.

Roger:
Yeah, this is dope.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Joanne:
Thank you.

See you.
We'll see what happens.
Yeah.

Thank you.

Can I get three loosies?

Oh, what up, Regine?
Hey.

Yo, my cousin's
selling his place.
Boy, bye.

Yo, for real this time.

Twenty dollars,
I can hook you up with it!

Regine:
A job will
give you $20 too!

Yo, Mr. C.

Mr. C:
And here I thought
you had forgotten about me.

Regine:
Now how could
I forget about you?

I was just at work,
trying to get this paper up,

so maybe I can buy
this beautiful spot
off of you someday.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

You sound
just like the Jew,

ringing my doorbell
every goddamn minute
of the day.

This morning
I answered the door,

" As-salaam alaikum,
my brother."

He damn near shit
in his pants.

Oh, you think that's funny, huh?
Well, let me tell you something.

Between them
and them goddamn
Ornamentals out there,

buying up all the property,
black man ain't gonna have
no place to live.

Shoot. A black woman
ain't gonna have no place
to live either,

unless you hook
a sista up.

At least whenever
you ready to sell.

You know,
just don't leave me
out here in the streets.

You see how
they did my pops.

Well, look, I got you
a little something.

You want me
to put it inside?

Oh, we like family.
Stop tripping.

♪ ♪

(kids shouting
playfully outside)

Yes, I did get your fax
of the tax return,

but, sir, like,
this is useless if--

Oh, okay.
Well, I'm gonna have
to call you in a minute.

All right.
All right, bye. Blech.

Roger, yo, I really need
that proof of employment.

Can you give it
to me by the end
of the day tomorrow maybe?

Yo, Josh, hold on. Hold on.

Yeah. Okay, cool.
Let me call you back.

Yo, Josh.
Hook your girl up, man.

Thank you.

Mmm! I'ma get my own,

but you gotta hook
that shit up, bruh.
Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

Justin:
All right,
keep doing that.

Yeah. More.
And you pinch it.

Grace: Hey, Justin,
are you in there?

Don't come in.
Okay.
Can you come upstairs?

We're having
a house meeting.
What?

Grace:
Hurry.

He's coming.

Okay, I don't want to make
a big deal out of it.
Grace: It's okay.

David: Totally.
Oh, hey, brother.
You're back already?

Yeah, I'm back.
Not happy about it, though.

Oh shit. What's up?
The Guy: I've been here
three times today, man.

You ordered,
and then he ordered
about two hours later,

and then now I'm back here
again a third time.

Isn't it crazy? David called,
and then I literally called
like 10 minutes later.

That's so funny.

Yeah, it's crazy.

I just wanna figure
something else out,

because I can't
keep coming here
multiple times in a day.

So if I already called you,
I should call you from work

and get you
to deliver there instead?
Mmm! Perfect.

I mean,
you don't have to move.

You guys can just talk
and coordinate, right?

Well, this is
the most we've seen
each other in months.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Right now?
Both: Yeah.

David: Yeah.

Well, I understand how
that can go sometimes.

Okay, I got an idea.
How about next time you come,
you just knock on our doors

and, like,
ask if we need anything.

Grace: Yeah.
Justin: Smart.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Hello. How are you?

Oh, hey. You know, fine.
Nice to meet you, man.

Nice to meet you too.

All right. So...
Okay.

What you need?
Ooh! Okay.

If you want flowers,
these are all 50.

These gummies are 20,
not so strong.

But these cookies
are much stronger.
These are 25.

And these pre-rolls
are 15.

And the vape pens--
I got an indica

and I got a sativa,
and they're both 50.

Sativa.
Going up.

All right, cool.
On a Tuesday.

I really like your labels.
Oh, yeah, thanks.

Yeah, I like to change it up
every now and then,

you know, rebrand,
see what works.
Smart.

Thank you, thank you.
You good with just the pen?

Yeah.
All right.

That's 50.

Okay.

All right. Thanks.
You looking for a place?

You know,
not actively, but, uh...

You like
your apartment?

Uh, it's okay.
It's not the greatest.

You know,
there's no washing machine
in the building,

there's not
a great grocery store,

but whatever,
it's fine.

What are
you doing right now?

Um...

You know, working. Why?

There is an amazing apartment
just a block away from here.

You really should see it.
I mean, I thought about
moving there myself,

but I'm really looking
to buy my next place.

So, I'm just saying
there's brand-new
hardwood floors,

top-of-the-line appliances,

a historical landmark,
you know?

It was a stop
on the Underground Railroad.

Oh wow.
Which stop?

I'm just joking.

Well, yeah,
I don't know.

You said, "Moving,"
and then I thought
about packing,

and then I thought,
"Someone's gonna have
to take over my lease,"

and it kind of made
my butt cheeks clench,

so I don't know.
I don't think it's the moment,

but I'll give you a call
if I decide I want to.

I feel you, but look,
you have my card,

so any time, I got you.

Woman:
Bring your awareness
to your sitz bones

and allow your root chakra
to become one with the Earth.

Plant yourself.
Ground yourself.

Nowhere to go.
No one to see.

Nothing to do.

Just be here
in this moment.

Accept the universe's
abundance.

And breathe.

Inhale the miracle that is
this beautiful existence...

and exhale peace.

The rest will fall
into place.

Namaste.

Group:
Namaste.

Woman:
Now, thank yourself
for coming to your mat today.

(hip-hop music
playing over stereo)

You got that
at Whole Foods?

Damien: You cheating on me
with Whole Foods now?

Oh, you can't
even talk now?

Damn, Regine.
It's like that?

How's it make you feel?

Getting your Maya Angelou
step on, girl?

You feel like
a brand

Does it taste
like kombucha, baby?

Key Foods
did you fine, baby.

Regine.
What's a matter, girl?

Regina:
Motherfucker.
What the fuck?

Damien:
You all right?

Lemme see
that downward-facing dog.

Mmm!

Meg:
Hey, guys,

we covered
the canvassing schedule,

so that's good.
Okay, so tomorrow,

we're gonna discuss
potential new community
engagement projects,

so just be ready
with those.

Okay, unless anybody
has anything else...

Crickets.

Okay. Candace and John,
you guys are on dishes tonight.

Right on.
Yay. And before
we share gratitudes,

Ayasha and Cole...

last word
is yours tonight.

Oh, it's too sad,
you guys.
I know. I know.

So, as most
of you know...

we're finally
fucking doing it.

Yes, yes, we are.

And that means
this is our last month
with you all.

I'm sorry. It's just...
It's okay.

We're going to miss
you guys a lot.

We're gonna miss you.
Yup.

Cole:
But the farm has
a ton of room,

beautiful trees,
and good fresh air,
and light.

So you can all stay with us
whenever, like, whenever.

Oh, we'll be there.
Someone's trying to get
free labor out of you guys.

Gladly.

It's a big garden.
Aww.

Um, and we have
some other news too.

What?

Both:
We're pregnant!
Oh my God!

I knew it! I knew it!

Cheers, cheers.
Drink up.

Cheers, cheers, cheers.

Yeah, we've got
community engagement,
communal meals.

We got weird workshops.
There's even game night.

You know, it kind of
all just reminds me of
the co-ops in college.

Yes.
Oh, don't forget to wash
those eggshells, Boo.

Oh yeah, I will.
The Guy: How fucking
awesome would it be

to go back
to college...

and actually go to class
and learn some shit?

Candace:
Well, we've got these
workshops here, man.

You should move your ass
in here. We have a spot.
Yes.

No, I mean, like,
what if I could be
my 22-year-old body

with my 33-year-old mind.
Yeah, like Benjamin Button.

Yeah, I mean like
a Benjamin Button situation.
Mmm.

Or Freaky Friday.
Yeah, but see,
here's the thing.

'Cause then your mom's
gonna be like nursing some
weird-ass old man-baby

when you get
young-old, old-young,

whatever it is.
Some babies look like
old men. It's okay.

Yes, they do.
It's true.
Babies are kind of gross.

Yeah. Yeah.

Listen, I wasn't really
thinking about moving.

but... it might be nice
to change things up a bit,

get some company around,
you know?
Mm-hmm. Mmm.

Not live down the hall
from your ex-wife anymore.

We share a vacuum.

It works out very nicely.
Yeah, we got one.
You don't need that vacuum.

You don't need that vacuum.
But hers is a Dyson.

Ours is a Dyson.

Woman:
I'm like, "No. Ew.
I hate meatpie.

Cool, so can I get
you guys anything else?
We're fine, thank you.

Great. That's just,
like, right here...
And so I see him--

whenever you're ready for it.
Thank you.

So, I see him all the time,
and every time I walk by,

he's like,
"Are you hungry?"

Are you kidding me?

I think we should
ask them if they can
refill ketchup bottles.

You know what?
I'm just gonna turn
the music off.

That should get
the point across.

Don't fuck
with your tips, girl.

Woman: I'm in
this beautiful dress,

and I get in the cab,
and the meat pie guy
is right there.

Man: No.

Oblivious.

Woman :
This is a message
from the New York City

Department
of Housing Preservation
and Development.

Your application
to the Affordable
Housing Lottery

has been selected
for approval.

Please call us back
at your earliest convenience...
Holy shit.

...to schedule
your move-in date.

This is fucking baller.
You guys know Greenpoint?

We ride our bikes through it
sometimes on the way to PS1,

but not really
hanging out there.
People love it.

Great waterfront,
bars, restaurants,

McCarren Park,
Peter Pan Donuts.
You guys like pierogies?

Mmm. Yeah.

Is that a yoga class?
Yeah, but the gym
and sauna are for NSR.

N
Non-subsidized residents.

Okay. That's nice.

Oh, nice, big closet.
Okay. Okay.

Okay, I mean,
it's kind of small,
but yeah, it's fine.

Smaller than our old place.
Smaller than any of the places
we've lived in ever.

Yeah, but it's
also $850 a month,

so you're gonna be able
to get an art studio.
That's cool.

This is just some
tax write-off for some
really rich building owner.

You know what I mean?
It's like-- this is
low-income housing.

Uh-huh. Yup.
And we are low-income,

so for now,
we are low-income
and we have a dishwasher.

That is grown-up shit.

That's good.
What's this?

Oh yes.

Oh, this is my window.

You better make sure you have
permission to use this amenity.
Yeah.

Oh yeah,
you can use those.

That will be nice.
That will be very nice.
Yes. Okay.

Oh.

Oh my God.

I haven't had
a bath in 10 years.

It's gonna be good.

You're gonna like that, okay?

♪ ♪

Go ahead.
Thank you.

Why are we carrying
this around?

That's got
a backgammon board
inside of it.

Hey, Boo.

John:
Yes.

Hold on.

Do we have room
for this sweet baby?

Uh... umm.
No.

Hold on, hold on.
Back up, back up, back.

Yeah. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

John:
A little bit.

♪ ♪

Excuse me.
Yeah, coming through.

Like above the bed?

What
What about there?

Come to this corner,
this reinforced corner,

there's always
a stud on the corner.

♪ ♪

With a toggle bolt?
You love a toggle bolt.

Yeah, there's
no swinging capacity.

Shit.

That's okay.
Oh look.

♪ ♪

Woman:
And forward.
And up.

And forward.

There's no smoking
inside the building, sir.

I wasn't smoking.

♪ ♪

Hey.
Hey.

Shoot. Sorry.

I love your shoes.
Oh, thank you.

So, how long are you guys
gonna be in Cuba?

Thirteen days.
Maybe longer.

Maybe longer.
Yeah.
You know.

We're just
gonna play it by ear.
You know what I mean?

If we can get a sitter
for Persimmon.

Cool.
That's really lucky.

This chicken is bomb!

Oh, it's a meal delivery
service thing.

It's super easy.
Oh, if you want, I have
a code for a free week.

Oh, yeah.
So, what gallery
are you with, John?

Oh, um, actually,
I'm between places right now.

Cool, very cool.
Well, you should
show me your work.

I know a lot of people.
Oh. Wow.
Okay. Yeah, cool.

No problem, man.

You guys want another round?
Yeah, yeah,
I'll take another one.

Oh, Harp, I'll, uh,
I'll grab the whiskey.
Oh, good idea.

This is actually,
uh, a friend of ours
who owns this distillery.

Oh, cool.
So we get this stuff
by the truckload.

Oh, you guys should take
a bottle, right, Logan?

Logan:
Oh, totally.
No, really?

Yeah.
Wow. Thank you so much.

That's really generous.
Sure.

I mean-- and I mean--
this bears saying,

thank you again
for inviting us over.

I really appreciate it.
You guys are like our, um...

You're like the first people
we've met in the building

who are actually nice
to us, you know

Cheers.
John:
Chin-chin.

Uh, eye contact,
eye contact, eye contact.

♪ ♪

Mmm.
Mmm.

That was good.
Yeah.

So, I don't know,
since you guys

are gonna be out
of town this weekend,

do you think
we could borrow
your key fob?

♪ ♪

Uh, what?

Uh, you know, like,
your fob for the sauna,
the gym, and stuff, you know?

Um...

Oh, you know what?

The building
has gotten so weird
about lending that out.

Yeah. Yeah. No.

I mean, I would--
No. No. No.

Sorry, I... Sorry, guys.

We just...
We wanna stay on good terms

with all our neighbors.
Yeah.

Understood.

Logan:
Guys, you know
we would in a heartbeat--

Oh, of course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Don't apologize.
We would
in a heartbeat.

We would
in a second.
Yeah.

Can't blame a girl
for trying, right?

♪ ♪

Uh, excuse me.
I have to pee.

Oh, what the fuck is that?

Oh shit.

Harper:
You know

Logan: Yeah, I mean,
flip a little Moleskin,
when it's over with,

see if we can get
a best-seller out of it.

Bye, have a great trip
this weekend.
John: Good luck, guys.

Stay safe, you know?
Harper:
Oh, thanks.

Well, that was fun
till it wasn't.

Yeah, well...

you know...

sometimes you gotta deal
with the devil

to get a sauna code.

Hey, man. What's up?

John :
I've got two words for you:

Sauna. Martini.
Next time!

Ah. Hot sauna party.
Sounds pretty good.

John:
Wanna come over?
Yeah, be over there soon.

I'm watching this guy,
and I have to introduce
myself to him.

He's lassoing.
John:
Sounds dangerous.

The Guy:
It's hard work,
but it's honest work.

Yeah. All right, man,
I'll see you then.
John: All right.

♪ ♪

Yeah! There you go!

Thank you.

Hello.
Guard:
Evening, sir.

Hi.
How can I help you?

I'm here to see
Candace and John
in apartment, uh...

332.
332.

Sign here, please.
Name and time in.
Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah.
332?

John :
Hello.
Hi.

Ben is here to see you.

John:
Ben?

Yeah, are you expecting a...

Ben Button?

Yeah, Ben. Send him up.
Ah, good.

It's okay.
Okay.

Ah. Excuse me.
You wrote, "10:00"...

Uh-huh.
...and it's actually,
uh, 10:23.

Oh. What a mistake.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.

Time flies.
It does, doesn't it?

The Guy: Crossing it out.
Guard:
Yes, that's perfect.

You're perfect.
Thank you.

Have a good night.
Have a nice evening,
Mr. Button.

Yeah, you too.

Candace:
I didn't know
that normies were saving

their placentas
and their umbillical cords too.

But aren't you supposed
to refrigerate it
or something?

I thought you were
supposed to eat it.
You're supposed to eat it?

I'm sorry. This sploof
does not work.

I don't even know
why we're doing it.
Dude, just work with me here.

I haven't made one
since middle school,
so maybe I made it wrong.

Why don't we just
open these windows?
They're so big and lush.

Because.
Because we got caught
by the security guard.

Uh-oh.
Boner killer.

Yeah, it sucks.

Hey. Do you want
our hammock?

Oh, no, I can't.
Yeah, you can.

Maybe I can take
your hammock.

Both:
You can take it.

Oh, she's beautiful.
Thank you.

What's her name?
Both: Trisha.

She'll rock you to sleep.
This is so kind.
Thank you very much.

Candace:
You're welcome.
I celebrate you.

I just think I want my son's
to look like mine,

so he won't have
a complex or something.

Candace:
Do you think that's
actually gonna be a problem?

I mean, is that normal
for a son to compare
his dick to his dad's?

It's not just the comparing.
It's also cleanliness, smegma.

Yeah.
Who wants to deal with that?

It's gotta be
really traumatic
for a baby.

Yeah, I mean, it's mutilation.
I always talk about
dad genitals with you guys.

Dad-gens come up a lot.
Dad-gens.

We've gotten
that criticism before.

Ooh. What the fuck is that?
Oh, I'm trying out
a new laugh.

You might wanna workshop it
a little further.

I was trying to do
a laugh for a while
where I was like...

That sounds real.
That sounds official.

Yeah, it is like Nelly-level hot
in here, y'all. I think I'm
gonna have to go soon.

I got like two minutes.
Yeah, it's pretty cool, though.

You guys did a real good job
with this new place.

This is Jackpot City.
John:
I know.

Welcome
to Jackpot City.
Yeah.

Population: Three.

Hey, guys,
you can't be up in here.

Oh shit.
No, yes, we can.
We live here. Sit.

You live on the third floor.
The amenities are for--
Man, that is bullshit!

Hey, Boo. Boo.
You know it. No. No.

No! Hey!
Sit down!
Oh.

You can't just go around
separating people by amenities.

This is supposed
to be a community.

And if you're gonna
draw hard lines in the sand

about who can use the sauna
and who can use the roof deck,

and who can park
their fucking bike
in the bike room--

like, economic oppression is
a real problem in this country.

It's actually, in fact,
one of our biggest problems,

and we have
a big class divide,

and it's just
getting worse,
every day.

And I don't know
why you're trying
to be on that side

when you should be on my--
Guard: Jesus Christ!

Just wrap it up soon, okay?

Oh fuck. It's hot.

Oh yeah,
I don't feel good.
Oh man, I'm gonna puke.

The Guy:
Really?

Candace: Yeah, really.
The Guy:
Oh, I'm gonna stay.

We fought for it.
John:
Yup. Enjoy it, man.

Good night, man.

John:
What you thinking, Boo?

I was thinking
about Ayasha
and Cole's baby.

Oh, we don't have
to talk about that.

No, I'm not talking
about trying to have a kid.
I was saying...

if they would
let us borrow it
a couple of times,

maybe we could
use it and get ourselves
a two-bedroom up in here.

What do you think
about that

Always hatching
a plan.
Yeah.

Just trying
to game the system
before it plays me.

♪ ♪

Hey.
Mmm?

What's that sound?
What?

Oh God.
That was a good one.

That was a good one.

Oh. It reverberated
all the way up my back.

Ooh, my...

♪ ♪

♪ Much too far ♪

♪ For our
relationship ♪

♪ We're lost ♪

♪ In translation ♪

♪ Fall
too far ♪

♪ For our
relationship ♪

♪ I'm lost ♪

♪ In
translation ♪

♪ ♪

THE GUY: No.

If I can't get my bike,
I should be walking, but--

You gotta treat yourself.

I don't know if any
of you guys smoke weed, and--

Do we smoke weed?
Depends! It kosher?!

♪ ♪

If you ever need any help,
just holler.

Challah french toast?

-Oh, man.
-I'm so hungry.

♪ ♪