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1
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:32,208
♪ ♪
2
00:00:38,208 --> 00:00:39,333
(baby babbling)
3
00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:41,834
Yeah, man.
That's the East Coast-- ticks.
4
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:45,250
Well, yeah, but we almost
didn't go to Montauk,
which is what kills me
5
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:48,041
because it's like,
last minute, our friends
decide to elope,
6
00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:50,000
and we went to her
parents' summerhouse
7
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,959
just to be supportive
and, like, go with the flow,
8
00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:55,458
even though there's so much
to do and we're obviously
not even remotely unpacked.
9
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:58,625
And besides, we left LA
to avoid dying in a drought,
10
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,375
not so some tick
could murder my baby.
11
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:03,000
Don't blame the tick, babe.
It's the Lyme disease
inside the tick
12
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,166
that'll kill our daughter.
13
00:01:04,166 --> 00:01:06,041
Oh, you know what,
save that for her eulogy.
14
00:01:06,041 --> 00:01:07,458
Like a ticking time bomb.
15
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,959
Quinn:
That is in poor taste.
16
00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,250
Jim, great job
in the kitchen, man.
Really, this isn't funny.
17
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:12,542
I liked it.
18
00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:14,125
What are you doing
right now?
19
00:01:14,125 --> 00:01:16,667
Yeah, let me know how
that pen works out, man.
20
00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:18,583
Hey, can I offer you guys
21
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:20,750
a complimentary
housewarming edible?
22
00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,208
Oh, that's very kind.
23
00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,500
Oh, that's--
We're fine, babe.
(baby babbling)
24
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,834
Oh.
Okay.
25
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:28,875
I actually have a colleague
who wanted your number.
26
00:01:28,875 --> 00:01:30,542
Can I just give it
to her or do you need...
27
00:01:30,542 --> 00:01:33,917
Yeah, sure.
Just, um, just text me
her name number and address,
28
00:01:33,917 --> 00:01:35,708
and then when she texts me,
29
00:01:35,708 --> 00:01:37,583
just make sure she doesn't
say anything about weed.
30
00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:39,333
Make sure she just says
she wants to hang out.
31
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,625
Got it. Cool.
Okay?
32
00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:42,834
That is the cutest baby
I've ever seen.
33
00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:44,083
Oh, thanks, so much.
34
00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:45,708
You are so beautiful.
35
00:01:45,708 --> 00:01:47,917
Congratulations.
And the new house.
36
00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:50,708
Can I take any of these empty
boxes down or anything?
Oh!
37
00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:52,959
Well, actually, would you mind
taking that trash?
38
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:54,333
I can smell Jane's diaper.
No, babe.
39
00:01:54,333 --> 00:01:56,000
You don't need to do that.
Oh, I don't even mind.
40
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,041
He's helpful.
I'm very helpful.
41
00:01:58,041 --> 00:01:59,458
Yeah, okay.
Thank you, bike safe.
42
00:01:59,458 --> 00:02:01,917
Yeah, thank you.
I'll take the recyclables too.
43
00:02:01,917 --> 00:02:03,625
Sweet. Thanks, man.
44
00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,291
Bye-bye, you guys.
45
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,458
I cannot believe you seriously
just asked the weed guy
to take out the trash.
46
00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:10,000
He wouldn't ask if
he didn't want to.
47
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,333
It's an empty gesture,
I think.
48
00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:34,708
♪ ♪
49
00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:05,542
(speaks indistinctly)
50
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:17,083
(speaking Mandarin Chinese)
51
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,458
(woman chuckles)
52
00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:47,792
♪ ♪
53
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:05,333
(slurping)
54
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:13,834
(slurps)
55
00:04:13,834 --> 00:04:16,125
(radio playing indistinctly)
56
00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:05,375
♪ ♪
57
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:12,208
(theremin warbling
classical melody)
58
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,792
We see photos of you
with David Bowie's wife,
the African model.
59
00:06:08,792 --> 00:06:10,250
You look so beautiful.
60
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:11,500
Oh, thank you.
61
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:12,875
That was kind of surreal.
62
00:06:12,875 --> 00:06:15,583
Yeah, I mean, this whole year
has been surreal.
63
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:19,041
Liang has been getting us
into some pretty fancy rooms
these days.
64
00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:20,625
Oh, Wei, I was
meaning to ask you...
65
00:06:20,625 --> 00:06:23,625
Do you have any photos of
you and Liang back in the '80s
66
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:25,041
when he was playing
in the subways?
67
00:06:25,041 --> 00:06:27,959
'Cause my friend is making
a documentary
on musical prodigies
68
00:06:27,959 --> 00:06:31,458
and Liang is in it.
(gasps)
You get so famous now!
69
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:34,792
I find you some photos
and send them to you next week.
Okay.
70
00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:37,333
(speaking Mandarin Chinese)
71
00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:40,500
(belches)
72
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,458
Give me your address.
I don't have your new one
since you moved.
73
00:06:43,458 --> 00:06:45,834
Excuse me. May we please have...
I'll give you Liang's
manager's e-mail
74
00:06:45,834 --> 00:06:48,375
and he'll coordinate the photos.
...a glass of Sancerre
and the check.
75
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:52,458
(speaking Mandarin Chinese)
76
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,917
Well, have you given some
thought about coming to Berlin?
77
00:07:00,917 --> 00:07:05,500
Uh, I think we stay home.
His back hurts a lot.
78
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,583
He cannot sit through
the six-hour flight.
79
00:07:07,583 --> 00:07:09,166
The seats are first-class.
They recline.
80
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:10,917
Yeah, they're actually
really comfortable.
81
00:07:10,917 --> 00:07:12,959
I mean, I slept
all the way here.
82
00:07:12,959 --> 00:07:14,834
(speaking Mandarin Chinese)
83
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:21,125
Sorry. I told you,
it's going to be fine.
84
00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:24,000
Solange's dad has like
a million frequent flyer miles.
85
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,000
All right? Cost is
not going to be an issue.
86
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,959
I know Liang
said no gifts, but...
87
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,458
I couldn't help myself.
88
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:37,667
(speaking Mandarin Chinese)
89
00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:48,333
(ringtones playing)
90
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:41,583
♪ ♪
91
00:09:07,542 --> 00:09:10,834
♪ ♪
92
00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:34,625
Man:
You cannot
delete the Internet.
93
00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:36,291
I think you probably
just deleted the shortcut.
94
00:09:36,291 --> 00:09:38,792
Just the shortcut.
Yeah, that part right there.
95
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:40,250
Okay, guys, hey, listen.
96
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,625
Great session today,
97
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:44,375
but before we go,
I just want to say
a couple of things.
98
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,959
I still notice
that some of you
are licking your finger
99
00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:48,417
before you swipe the phone.
100
00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:50,458
You don't need to do that
with this technology.
101
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:52,208
And I'm talking
to you, Joon. Okay?
102
00:09:52,208 --> 00:09:54,708
(laughing)
Um, so, uh,
that's the other thing.
103
00:09:54,708 --> 00:09:57,750
And then, like, let's try
some of the things this week
that we learned today.
104
00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:00,166
Let's try FaceTiming
with our grandchildren.
105
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:02,375
Hey, let's use
voice-to-text.
106
00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:04,583
Um, and now I'm gonna
answer the questions
107
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:07,500
that you guys text to me
before we finish up class.
108
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:10,166
"IRL" means "in real life."
109
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:13,291
And just remember, Mary, you
don't need to sign your name.
110
00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:15,959
Your contact information
comes right up on the screen.
111
00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:17,542
Although "sincerely"
is kind of nice.
112
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:19,542
It's kind of nice to get
a sincerely from you.
113
00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:22,500
Man (on TV):
The Republican pushback has
been completely disorganized.
114
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:25,417
Come on, let's hope that
the Obama administration...
115
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,542
Woman (on TV):
You mean to tell me
the DNA was planted...
116
00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:31,375
(TV continuing indistinctly)
117
00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:46,041
(alarm buzzing)
118
00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:17,250
Man:
Hey, Jim!
119
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:18,792
Whoa!
120
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:32,583
(electronic music thumping)
121
00:11:55,125 --> 00:11:59,917
♪ ♪
122
00:12:50,542 --> 00:12:55,458
(lively chattering)
123
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,291
Uh, hi.
124
00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:04,500
Oh, Cookie!
125
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:07,583
Hey, everybody,
this is my daughter, Quinn.
126
00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:09,500
Quinn, this is everybody. Hey!
127
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,000
All: Hi!
Hey.
128
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,333
Woman:
Quinn! Hey, mama!
129
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:15,834
Quinn:
You're who I
should be talking to.
130
00:13:15,834 --> 00:13:17,917
My dad says that
you run a preschool?
131
00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:20,166
That's my 20-month-old
over there, Jane.
132
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,500
Oh, I met her.
She's so smiley.
133
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:23,708
Yeah, she is.
134
00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:26,667
It's actually
a preschool for grown-ups.
135
00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:29,625
Oh...
You should totally check it out.
136
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:31,208
Isn't that just so fleek?
137
00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:33,458
Oh, Dad, I'm not sure
you're quite getting
the usage on that yet.
138
00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:36,500
Ha-cha-cha, give me a break.
Come on, don't you love it?
139
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,208
She's got all these
Wall-Streeters coming in,
140
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,417
doing finger painting
and taking naps.
141
00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:41,792
I think it's fabulous.
142
00:13:41,792 --> 00:13:43,750
Yeah. Only Costco's
finest, I see.
143
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:47,625
This is Professor Cupcake.
He's one of our instructors.
144
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:49,500
Hi, Cupcake.
Hi, Juicebox.
145
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,667
Jim:
I call her Cookie!
146
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:52,708
Oh, sounds like
a lot of carbs.
147
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:56,375
Nasim was basically, like,
an orphan before me, you know?
148
00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:59,750
I mean, don't you sometimes
feel like it's narcissistic
149
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:02,417
to be like,
"Oh, my genes, DNA...
150
00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:05,291
I have to give birth."
You know? I--
151
00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:07,083
Oh, I think she's hungry.
152
00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:08,708
Oh, I'm still lactating.
153
00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:10,500
My younger one
is four and--
No, no.
154
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,917
That's fine, thank you.
Are you sure?
155
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,083
Dean:
Yes, thank you.
156
00:14:13,083 --> 00:14:14,500
Woman:
Okay. I think
I'm leaking...
157
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,083
Oh, you know what,
it's not--
158
00:14:16,083 --> 00:14:18,708
Oh, yeah, come on.
I'd rather do that.
159
00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:20,542
It's more direct.
160
00:14:20,542 --> 00:14:22,125
I mean, Jesus Christ!
Only in Brooklyn
161
00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:23,708
can you smoke pot
all day with your friends
162
00:14:23,708 --> 00:14:25,250
and call it
a preschool for adults.
163
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,667
Oh, I don't think there's any
pot involved in the preschool.
164
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,083
I think that's about
offering adults
165
00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:32,083
a chance to escape from their
responsibilities in the city.
166
00:14:32,083 --> 00:14:34,792
As far as I can tell,
these people spend every day
they're not at Burning Man
167
00:14:34,792 --> 00:14:37,083
decompressing from or
getting ready for Burning Man.
168
00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:39,458
I don't know, day raves
are really trending right now,
169
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,125
so they might
know something we don't.
170
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:43,208
Oh, really,
are day raves on fleek?
171
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:44,834
Oh, I know, it's terrible.
Ha-cha-cha.
172
00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:47,375
I know. Stop.
I know, he's the worst.
173
00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:49,125
Ha-cha-cha.
Stop.
174
00:14:49,125 --> 00:14:51,959
In fact, he actually
called something "off fleek"
last night. Did you hear that?
175
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,458
He just wants to be
one of the cool kids.
176
00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:55,625
Well, and since he started
smoking bowls at 11:00 a.m.,
177
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:56,917
he's forgetting things.
178
00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:58,959
Like the fact that he said
he would take Jane on Monday.
179
00:14:58,959 --> 00:15:00,000
Why can't you take her?
180
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,291
Well, I was hoping
to go climbing.
181
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:03,125
Remember, I don't have
class 'cause of the holiday.
182
00:15:03,125 --> 00:15:05,166
Oh, well, I'm sorry
my super generous dad
183
00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:07,333
who does all this stuff for us
can't be there on Monday
184
00:15:07,333 --> 00:15:09,333
and you have to spend time
with your own kid.
No, come on.
185
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:11,834
You know that's
not what I'm saying.
I'm basically just repeating
186
00:15:11,834 --> 00:15:13,458
back things that you say
all the time.
Nah,
187
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:15,458
I say it a little differently.
I'm not attacking
his character.
188
00:15:15,458 --> 00:15:18,834
He's just really saving our
asses right now, so I think
we can let him have this.
189
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,125
The-- Oh, yeah.
190
00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:22,208
I might go
with him next time.
191
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:24,125
To the-- a day rave?
Yeah.
192
00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:25,125
Cool.
193
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,875
As long as you
can watch Jane.
194
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:28,625
Yup.
Great.
195
00:15:30,125 --> 00:15:31,625
I'm so glad you came.
196
00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:32,917
We're gonna have
a fabulous time.
197
00:15:32,917 --> 00:15:34,667
No one's gonna make me
dance with them, right?
198
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,083
I can just dance by myself?
No, no, no.
199
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:38,291
You just do you, Cookie.
Everything's gonna be great.
200
00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:40,000
Oh, wow, Gaby Hoffmann.
201
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,834
Who?
Right there, Gaby Hoffmann.
202
00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:44,417
You know who she is.
Wait, that's Gaby?
203
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:46,417
Hey, I know her! Gaby!
204
00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:50,625
(dance music playing)
205
00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:10,917
Inhale, lift your arms up!
206
00:16:10,917 --> 00:16:13,792
Exhale, and let's om.
207
00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:16,834
All:
Om...
208
00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:22,583
Exhale. Round cat.
209
00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:26,542
Inhale. Cow.
210
00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:31,750
Draw your navel up,
211
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,500
and back to dog.
212
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,000
And breathe.
213
00:16:36,375 --> 00:16:40,542
Sit bones up and back,
and stretch.
214
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:44,750
Open muladhara chakra
and stretch your coochie.
215
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,583
♪ Heat ♪
216
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:52,583
♪ You see the road
I wanna follow ♪
217
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:56,792
♪ It takes a turn,
it's hard to follow ♪
218
00:16:56,792 --> 00:16:59,708
♪ I want your touch,
I want your body ♪
219
00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:01,417
♪ I feel the heat ♪
220
00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:09,250
♪ I feel the heat ♪
221
00:17:12,542 --> 00:17:14,125
♪ Heat ♪
222
00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,458
♪ I feel the heat ♪
223
00:17:19,417 --> 00:17:23,625
DJ:
What's up? What's up?
Good morning, yeah!
224
00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:28,834
(door opens)
225
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:30,542
Hi!
Hi.
226
00:17:30,542 --> 00:17:33,291
I didn't realize you were
gonna be here so early.
227
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:35,125
Yeah, I was
at that morning dance thing.
228
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:36,500
Did you get
my text about the juice?
229
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:37,959
Yeah, yeah.
I responded, yes.
230
00:17:37,959 --> 00:17:40,041
I got the green
and the beet.
Oh, right, right, right, sorry.
231
00:17:40,041 --> 00:17:42,542
It's just I'm in--
I'm in a weird headspace.
232
00:17:42,542 --> 00:17:43,667
It was weird?
It was no good?
233
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:45,000
No, you know what,
it was fine.
234
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,125
It was just, um...
It just wasn't for me.
235
00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,166
There was a lot
of touching and hugging
236
00:17:49,166 --> 00:17:51,041
and body glitter,
just too early in the morning.
237
00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,792
But I'm over 30,
so what do I know?
238
00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:54,667
Yeah, it's weird. I can't do
anything in the morning.
239
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:56,000
Like, I can't even
read a book.
240
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,375
Like, anything--
241
00:17:57,375 --> 00:17:58,583
I'm sorry
to cut you off, Jess.
242
00:17:58,583 --> 00:18:00,291
I just-- I was hoping
for a moment of quiet.
243
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:02,959
Oh, yeah, totally.
Great.
244
00:18:02,959 --> 00:18:03,959
Sorry.
245
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:09,333
(phone ringing)
246
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:10,667
(chair scraping)
247
00:18:10,667 --> 00:18:11,667
Sorry.
248
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:19,083
(computer chimes)
249
00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:21,834
It's my birthday--
Where are we on the settee?
250
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,125
What's a settee?
251
00:18:23,125 --> 00:18:26,000
It's the couch thing
I asked you to order.
252
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,667
Oh. Uh...
253
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:31,166
Yeah, I will f--
I will find-- I'll find that--
254
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:33,333
I'll send you
the link again.
Oh, okay, yeah.
255
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,583
Happy birthday.
Okay, thank you.
256
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:41,125
♪ ♪
257
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:02,208
Hey, you okay, man?
258
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,667
Hey.
259
00:19:05,291 --> 00:19:06,250
You okay?
260
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:08,667
Um, that--
that's our chair!
261
00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:10,041
What?
262
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:12,208
That's our chair,
the one he's sitting on,
it's ours.
263
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:13,458
We're just waiting
for him to wake up,
264
00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,166
but that's our chair.
Do you know him?
265
00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:16,208
We saw it first, sorry.
266
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:18,208
But you don't know him?
267
00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:19,500
No.
268
00:19:22,417 --> 00:19:24,166
We've been here.
Sorry.
I see.
269
00:19:24,166 --> 00:19:25,667
It's all yours.
Both: Thank you.
270
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:26,875
Good night.
Good night.
271
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:29,417
It's a beautiful piece.
Everyone wants it.
272
00:19:29,417 --> 00:19:31,834
♪ The chair is mine ♪
(phone ringing)
273
00:19:31,834 --> 00:19:34,166
(phone ringing)
274
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:35,458
Hey.
275
00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:36,917
Jim, hey.
276
00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:38,583
Can you call me back
the normal way?
277
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:39,917
Jim:
What's that, bud?
What'd you say?
278
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,750
This is, uh, video.
279
00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:44,250
Yeah, it's FaceTime.
280
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,583
I'll call you back.
281
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:48,542
Nobody wants to do
the FaceTime.
282
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:55,917
(phone ringing)
283
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:57,500
Okay.
284
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,834
Here we go.
How can I help you?
285
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:01,291
Jim:
Hey. I'm babysitting
Jane tonight.
286
00:20:01,291 --> 00:20:02,583
You got to come
to the parlor floor.
287
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:05,959
Okay, cool. So, uh,
I'll put you last
288
00:20:05,959 --> 00:20:08,625
and then I can get those
playlists from you. Sound good?
289
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:09,583
Ha-cha-cha!
290
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,458
Yeah, ha-cha-cha,
see you, man.
291
00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:15,000
Feel better.
292
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,625
How long can
a person sleep for?
293
00:20:19,959 --> 00:20:22,625
It was fun
and I mean, interesting
294
00:20:22,625 --> 00:20:25,792
from like,
a sociological perspective.
295
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,458
And I'm totally glad I went--
296
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:29,458
Yeah, I think they're all
camping out in our yard.
297
00:20:29,458 --> 00:20:32,250
Yes, and our backyard is
full of day ravers.
298
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:34,500
You will know them
by their trail of glitter.
299
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,625
I just--
There's no way those girls
300
00:20:36,625 --> 00:20:38,458
aren't skeeved out by him.
301
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:42,583
Well, maybe they're not.
I once fucked a guy that was
26 years older than me.
302
00:20:42,583 --> 00:20:43,792
What?!
Wow.
303
00:20:43,792 --> 00:20:44,792
When was this?
304
00:20:44,792 --> 00:20:46,458
It was way before our time.
305
00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:47,875
Don't make it
about you.
306
00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:50,625
I used to go
to Costco when I was a kid.
307
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,667
You really can't
beat the savings.
308
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:55,834
I mean, they've been selling
a hot dog and a fountain soda
309
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:57,333
for $1.50
since the '80s.
310
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,583
Come on!
That's right. Those hot dogs
are fucking good.
311
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:01,667
And they'll let you
return anything.
312
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:04,208
Anything.
No questions asked.
313
00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:08,708
I returned
an inflatable pool island
314
00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:10,750
that Quinn used
for an entire summer,
315
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:12,375
they still gave me
my money back.
316
00:21:12,375 --> 00:21:13,959
Bullshit.
Cash.
317
00:21:13,959 --> 00:21:15,166
Cash?
No receipt.
318
00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:17,500
They're fabulous.
That is incredible.
319
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:19,500
I just can't
give up Costco, man.
320
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:21,333
I feel so fucking
calm in that place.
321
00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:22,291
(laughs)
322
00:21:22,291 --> 00:21:23,333
Wait. How old is he?
323
00:21:23,333 --> 00:21:24,417
67.
He's 67.
324
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,500
He's 67?
325
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,125
Yeah.
I can't even get
out of the house.
326
00:21:27,125 --> 00:21:28,500
I mean,
I've been trying to see--
327
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,542
I've been trying to take her
to see "Hamilton" forever.
328
00:21:30,542 --> 00:21:32,291
Oh, it is so good.
329
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,500
We totally get it though.
330
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:36,000
We got key lime pie
in Red Hook the other day,
331
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,875
and it was like
scaling Mount Everest.
I love that place.
332
00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:40,542
The satisfaction we felt,
it was ridiculous.
I haven't been there in so long.
333
00:21:40,542 --> 00:21:42,542
Just getting out of the house.
And I didn't eat anything.
334
00:21:42,542 --> 00:21:45,166
But you know...
honey, we should
just go for strolls.
335
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:46,458
Just go for a walk.
Oh, right.
336
00:21:46,458 --> 00:21:47,792
Are you fucking
kidding me?
337
00:21:47,792 --> 00:21:49,708
It'd take two hours
to get out the door.
(baby crying)
338
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:51,041
Okay.
Oh, no, no, I'll get it.
339
00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:52,250
I'll get her.
340
00:21:52,250 --> 00:21:53,708
Okay.
341
00:21:53,708 --> 00:21:54,750
Okay.
342
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,917
(sighs)
343
00:21:55,917 --> 00:21:58,959
So, I saw on Instagram,
Jane is walking.
344
00:21:58,959 --> 00:21:59,959
Yeah.
She is.
345
00:21:59,959 --> 00:22:01,500
What are you guys
doing with her stroller?
346
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,708
So, what you retired
and then you moved to New York?
347
00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:05,417
I don't hear about that
very often.
348
00:22:05,417 --> 00:22:08,166
I mean, I used to be
a fucking asshole, so...
349
00:22:08,166 --> 00:22:09,583
Really?
Oh, yeah.
350
00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:14,708
Yeah, I was working my ass off
for my entire kids' childhood.
351
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:17,083
It was like, they were born
and I went to work
352
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:19,291
where I slept
and woke up 30 years later.
353
00:22:19,291 --> 00:22:20,375
Just working?
354
00:22:20,375 --> 00:22:22,917
Yeah, I just...
selling the company, man.
355
00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:27,500
Yeah.
And the idea behind this place,
356
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:29,083
is to expose the grandkids
357
00:22:29,083 --> 00:22:31,166
to a little culture,
a little diversity...
358
00:22:31,166 --> 00:22:33,417
Okay.
...so they're not
so scared growing up
359
00:22:33,417 --> 00:22:35,250
like Quinn
and her brother were.
360
00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:36,917
You know,
so fucking uptight.
361
00:22:36,917 --> 00:22:40,000
Yeah, her husband's
kind of uptight, too.
362
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,375
Oh, God. Did they call you
about that tick thing?
363
00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:45,625
No.
Oh, baby.
364
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:48,166
They said they were
gonna call you.
365
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:50,583
Well, here's
a perfect example.
366
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:54,417
They got all bent out of shape
after you came last time
367
00:22:54,417 --> 00:22:57,166
because apparently
you threw away a bottle
368
00:22:57,166 --> 00:22:58,542
they were saving
a tick in.
369
00:22:58,542 --> 00:23:04,291
Yes, the tick that bit
the baby in Montauk.
370
00:23:04,291 --> 00:23:06,291
What?
371
00:23:06,291 --> 00:23:08,250
I know people
drafted into Vietnam
372
00:23:08,250 --> 00:23:11,000
who reacted more calmly
than those two about that tick.
373
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,792
That's... terrible.
374
00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:15,458
I took their tick, man.
375
00:23:15,458 --> 00:23:16,792
(laughing)
376
00:23:16,792 --> 00:23:19,417
I've just been watching those
two run around like assholes
377
00:23:19,417 --> 00:23:21,583
for the past week talking
ticks and Lyme disease,
378
00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:23,667
and I'm just thinking
this shit is fucking cray.
379
00:23:23,667 --> 00:23:25,792
Yeah. That is cray.
380
00:23:25,792 --> 00:23:27,417
(phone buzzing)
Wait a minute.
381
00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:32,208
News from the front.
382
00:23:32,208 --> 00:23:34,333
They'll be home
in about 15 minutes or so.
383
00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:38,458
So, it seems like we can
safely smoke that thing.
384
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:40,417
All right. That sounds good.
385
00:23:40,417 --> 00:23:42,417
I can put the kettle on
and, um...
386
00:23:42,417 --> 00:23:44,667
You want something?
Tea, beer?
387
00:23:44,667 --> 00:23:46,000
Beer would be good.
388
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000
I'll get some of Dean's
craft beer, some good shit.
389
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,041
No, I don't want
to drink his craft beer.
390
00:23:50,041 --> 00:23:52,208
Oh, I bought it,
it's fine.
391
00:23:58,166 --> 00:23:59,458
Thank you.
Thank you.
392
00:23:59,458 --> 00:24:02,417
Her fingernails
were so dirty.
393
00:24:02,417 --> 00:24:04,500
Did you really
not notice that?
Did I notice that
394
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:06,500
her fingernails were dirty?
No, I did not see that.
Yes.
395
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:08,041
Oh, my gosh,
they were filthy.
396
00:24:08,041 --> 00:24:09,708
I can't believe
you didn't notice that.
397
00:24:09,708 --> 00:24:11,500
Well, she's busy.
She works in production.
398
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,792
She has like,
15-hour days.
399
00:24:12,792 --> 00:24:14,291
That is a ridiculous excuse.
400
00:24:14,291 --> 00:24:16,375
Also, she's a lesbian.
Yeah.
401
00:24:16,375 --> 00:24:19,000
So you'd think that would be,
like, extra important to her.
402
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,083
Or to Joan.
Yeah...
403
00:24:22,083 --> 00:24:23,875
And like, I ate her food.
404
00:24:23,875 --> 00:24:26,041
It's not like I think
she's a filthy person.
405
00:24:26,041 --> 00:24:28,917
No, I know.
I just would not want
to be her sex partner with--
406
00:24:28,917 --> 00:24:31,375
Do you smell that?
Is something burning?
407
00:24:31,375 --> 00:24:33,375
Oh, my God, Dad!
Oh!
408
00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:36,750
Dad! Dad!
409
00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:38,875
Do you see
the monitor? Dad!
410
00:24:39,917 --> 00:24:41,208
Oh, what the--
Shit!
411
00:24:41,208 --> 00:24:45,208
Dad, you put the fucking
electric kettle on the stove!
412
00:24:45,208 --> 00:24:46,708
It was burning!
413
00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:51,041
My God!
Are you seriously
holding a joint right now?
414
00:24:51,041 --> 00:24:54,417
Wow. My God,
I'm sorry you guys.
415
00:24:54,417 --> 00:24:56,750
Thank goodness you came home
when you did, right? Shit.
416
00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:58,875
Yeah, otherwise you would've
burned down the whole house.
417
00:24:58,875 --> 00:25:01,291
Well, it's an honest mistake.
418
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:04,458
I'm used to my stovetop kettle
in there, the same shape.
419
00:25:04,458 --> 00:25:06,542
Was it a mistake
or are you stoned?
420
00:25:06,542 --> 00:25:11,041
Cookie, I'm sorry.
421
00:25:11,041 --> 00:25:12,667
But I've gotta say,
422
00:25:12,667 --> 00:25:15,959
I think the stimulating
conversation's what made me
forget about the kettle,
423
00:25:15,959 --> 00:25:17,542
not the grass.
424
00:25:17,542 --> 00:25:20,250
I just took two hits right now.
Ask him.
425
00:25:20,250 --> 00:25:22,875
Yeah, I saw him.
He only took two hits.
426
00:25:22,875 --> 00:25:24,959
And I heard that
I took your tick,
427
00:25:24,959 --> 00:25:26,625
and I feel terrible.
428
00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:29,041
Totally. I hope
that you guys--
429
00:25:33,417 --> 00:25:34,417
Have a good night.
430
00:25:34,417 --> 00:25:35,792
Sorry about this.
I'm really sorry.
431
00:25:35,792 --> 00:25:37,583
It's cool, man.
I'm sure it was an accident.
432
00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:40,500
Dad, do we have to be
the only adults in the house?
433
00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,750
Are you gonna be our other child
that we have to worry about?
434
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:45,333
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Like Dean said to The Guy,
it was an accident.
435
00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:48,959
Yeah, well, the weed guy's
not helping us raise our
child, you are.
436
00:25:48,959 --> 00:25:52,250
And I know you don't have
a lot of experience
raising children,
437
00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:55,166
but it's more than just
showing up and buying things.
438
00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:58,125
You have to actually
be present and sober, okay?
439
00:25:58,125 --> 00:26:01,083
Not act like some unemployed
20-year-old raver.
440
00:26:01,083 --> 00:26:02,458
What the fuck, Quinn?
441
00:26:02,458 --> 00:26:04,083
Don't put me
on blast like that.
442
00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:05,083
(snickers)
443
00:26:05,083 --> 00:26:07,500
Stop making fun of me!
444
00:26:10,083 --> 00:26:11,959
I'm a person.
I'm not just Dad.
445
00:26:11,959 --> 00:26:13,792
I'm a person too,
and I have feelings.
446
00:26:13,792 --> 00:26:16,375
(smoke alarm beeping)
Yeah, well, now the house
is filled with toxic fumes.
447
00:26:16,375 --> 00:26:18,625
Well, then you can all
sleep down here if you like.
I don't care.
448
00:26:18,625 --> 00:26:20,792
Sorry. We've had
a few too many tonight.
449
00:26:20,792 --> 00:26:22,458
Quinn:
I'm not drunk!
450
00:26:40,708 --> 00:26:42,041
(phone dings)
451
00:26:56,792 --> 00:26:58,208
(phone dings)
452
00:27:01,708 --> 00:27:03,166
(chuckles)
453
00:27:03,166 --> 00:27:05,291
Could you turn down
the brightness?
454
00:27:40,125 --> 00:27:41,708
(chuckles)
455
00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:15,083
Bye, Felicia.
456
00:28:16,708 --> 00:28:18,208
(chuckles)
457
00:28:20,583 --> 00:28:23,083
Wait, I thought your daughter's
name was Quinn?
458
00:28:23,083 --> 00:28:24,875
You don't know
"Bye, Felicia"?
459
00:28:24,875 --> 00:28:26,750
No. Who's Felicia?
460
00:28:26,750 --> 00:28:28,583
I don't actually
know who she is,
461
00:28:28,583 --> 00:28:31,625
but it's on fleek.
462
00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:32,750
Get ready.
463
00:28:32,750 --> 00:28:33,917
Don't do that.
464
00:28:33,917 --> 00:28:35,125
I'm coming in.
465
00:28:35,125 --> 00:28:37,083
They're right upstair--
Don't do that.
I'm coming in.
466
00:28:37,083 --> 00:28:39,000
Get ready.
I'm coming in.
467
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,291
You didn't trust me
to get 'em up in time.
Yes, I...
468
00:28:42,291 --> 00:28:44,041
Oh! Oh...
469
00:28:44,041 --> 00:28:46,333
Whoa.
That was good.
470
00:28:51,291 --> 00:28:54,125
(whispers) What if I can't
get pregnant again?
What?
471
00:28:54,125 --> 00:28:57,083
♪ ♪
472
00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:16,708
♪ Well, I thought I could
match your glow ♪
473
00:29:16,708 --> 00:29:21,166
♪ With an apple
that I taught regret ♪
474
00:29:21,166 --> 00:29:26,583
♪ But you smashed that fruit
and you spat on my shoes ♪
475
00:29:26,583 --> 00:29:31,041
♪ And you drew an airplane
flying through my head ♪
476
00:29:31,041 --> 00:29:34,333
♪ I might as well be dead ♪
477
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:41,458
♪ Let those fireflies
chew off my legs ♪
478
00:29:42,834 --> 00:29:46,500
♪ 'Cause I don't wanna ever
dance no more ♪
479
00:29:47,834 --> 00:29:52,000
♪ No, no, no, no, no more ♪
480
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,542
♪ ♪
35959
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