subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Beavis.and.Butthead.Do.the.Universe.2022.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-EVO

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian Download

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:34,201 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh heh heh heh. 2 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,402 Ow! 3 00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,271 Whoa! 4 00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:39,939 Cool. Heh heh heh heh. 5 00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:41,274 Aah! 6 00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:44,378 Aah! 7 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,878 Hee hee hee hee. 8 00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:49,350 Aah! 9 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,219 Ow! Damn it, Butt-Head. 10 00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:53,720 Ow! Space sucks. 11 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,692 Heh heh heh. That was cool. 12 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,531 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh heh heh. 13 00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:44,204 Oh, hello. I'm Butt-Head. 14 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,539 Heh heh heh. 15 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,408 And I'm Beavis. Heh. Heh. Welcome. 16 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,808 Heh heh heh. 17 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,378 Some of you may be wondering where 18 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,346 we've been since we saw you last. 19 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,515 Well, it's quite a tale. 20 00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,685 A tale of two heroes on a quest to score, 21 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,686 across time and space. 22 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,956 It's a story of sex, violence, power... 23 00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:05,259 Yeah, and fire, heh, yeah, fire, heh. 24 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,760 Yeah, don't forget about that. 25 00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:09,597 It all began one ordinary day, 26 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,132 a day just like any other. 27 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:14,268 - Heh heh. - Ow! Ow! 28 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,236 Ow! Heh. Ow! Heh. 29 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,704 Ow... heh... ow... heh... 30 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,206 Aah! Ow! 31 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:22,141 Aah! Ow! Heh... ow! 32 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,977 What are you two doing? 33 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,346 Ow! Heh. 34 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,747 Uh... we're trying to find out how many times 35 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,251 I can kick Beavis in the nads before he passes out. 36 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,585 Yeah, heh. 37 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,921 And that's your science fair project? 38 00:02:34,987 --> 00:02:36,088 Uhh... 39 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,390 what science fair? 40 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:38,792 Yeah, what's that? 41 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,461 Heh heh - Heh heh heh. 42 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:44,432 Well, it's too bad you didn't take this more seriously, okay? 43 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,366 The winner of the science fair this year 44 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:50,069 gets a free trip to NASA Space Camp. 45 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,338 Whoa. 46 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,539 Space camp? 47 00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:53,906 That's pretty cool, Butt-Head. 48 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:56,944 What if we really did do a nad-kicking 49 00:02:57,009 --> 00:02:59,247 science experiment and, and like, 50 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:00,548 we did measurements 51 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,483 and we wrote stuff down with a pencil 52 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,751 like you're supposed to and... 53 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,118 And maybe we could prove everybody wrong 54 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,121 and win the whole science... 55 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:09,223 Aah! 56 00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:10,957 Heh heh. 57 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,293 Whoa. 58 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:17,965 Beavis, I have an idea for our science fair project. 59 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,467 Heh heh heh heh. 60 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,203 Uh, okay, now stand here. 61 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,204 Okay. 62 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,474 Heh heh heh. 63 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,908 Okay. 64 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:31,044 You're not gonna kick me in the nads again, are you? 65 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,579 No, I'm not, Beavis. 66 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,813 Those days are over. 67 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,616 Oh, good. That's a relief. 68 00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,586 That is the best news I've heard all day. 69 00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:41,254 Heh heh heh. 70 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,222 What's that thing? 71 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:49,663 Aah! 72 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:53,766 Aah! 73 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,403 Ahh... uhh... 74 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,473 Beavis! 75 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,175 Beavis, what the hell are you doing? 76 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:07,046 - Did we win the science fair? - Even better, Beavis. 77 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,247 We kicked its ass. 78 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,516 Check it out. 79 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,218 Whoa! Fire! Fire! 80 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,921 Fire! Heh. Fire! 81 00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,057 Beavis and Butt-Head, 82 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,427 this court hereby finds you guilty. 83 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,562 - Yes! - Yeah! 84 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:22,629 Kick-ass, yeah. 85 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:25,733 Please rise. 86 00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:28,369 Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence? 87 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:31,038 Uhh, if it like pleased the court, 88 00:04:31,103 --> 00:04:32,572 or something? 89 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:35,709 In my defense, I was trying to kick Beavis in the nads. 90 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,579 And I just want to say, Your Majesty, 91 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:43,016 that, um, the explosions were really cool. 92 00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:45,319 Amen. Heh heh. 93 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,754 Many have said, when it comes to sentencing, 94 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,622 I'm the toughest judge in the state. 95 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,091 And they're right. 96 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,961 But last night, I watched a show called 97 00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:56,863 "Touched by an Angel," and it made me think. 98 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:59,266 When I look at these two boys today, 99 00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:02,035 I don't see their failure. 100 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:03,971 I see our failure. 101 00:05:04,036 --> 00:05:06,105 - He said "touched." - Heh heh heh. 102 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,341 Heh, heh, yeah, heh. 103 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,677 You boys like explosions, don't you? 104 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,310 Uh. Yeah. 105 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,079 And fire. Heh heh heh. 106 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,182 Well, you know who else liked explosions? 107 00:05:15,247 --> 00:05:17,685 Neil Armstrong. 108 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,987 And the only difference between him and you 109 00:05:20,052 --> 00:05:22,589 is he had the benefit of supportive families 110 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,990 and teachers. 111 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,826 Families. Heh heh heh. 112 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,095 You know what Neil Armstrong did? 113 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,196 Did he score? 114 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,598 He was the first man on the moon. 115 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,832 Yeah, yeah. 116 00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,266 We never found out who 117 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,935 won that trip to space camp, 118 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,906 because the records were lost when the gym burned down. 119 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,375 But whoever it was is going to be fine. 120 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:45,713 They're going to go on to good colleges and fine careers. 121 00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:48,716 So I say, why not give opportunity 122 00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:51,018 to those who really need it 123 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,622 and unlock the potential of these two at-risk youths? 124 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,691 I hereby sentence Beavis and Butt-Head 125 00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:01,360 to eight weeks of Space Camp. 126 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,295 O-o-oh, no! 127 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,307 Heh heh heh heh. 128 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,009 It says Johnson. 129 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,846 - Heh heh heh. - Boi-oi-oi-oing... 130 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,548 Good morning. 131 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,216 I'm Commander Serena Ryan, 132 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,819 and I'm captain of the Space Shuttle Endeavor. 133 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,353 And I'm Jim Hartson, 134 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,264 the lieutenant commander, which is also an important... 135 00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:30,957 This week, you'll have a front row seat 136 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,326 while we prepare to take a very important mission 137 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,627 into space. - Yep. 138 00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:35,928 We're gonna bring a new 139 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,865 telescope to the Mir space station 140 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:41,168 and use it to observe a small black hole. 141 00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:42,670 Hole. 142 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,071 - Heh heh heh heh. - Heh. Heh. 143 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,781 Albert Einstein and Nathan Rosen theorized 144 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,173 black holes could contain rifts 145 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,143 in the very fabric of the universe, or wormholes, 146 00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:52,779 that could allow one to travel through time and space. 147 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,947 Wormhole? Uh-heh-heh. 148 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:58,284 Yeah, I always wondered how worms score. 149 00:06:58,350 --> 00:07:00,721 To my right here is a model of the entry port 150 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:02,689 of Russia's Mir Space Station, 151 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:04,132 where we're going to have to execute 152 00:07:04,156 --> 00:07:06,326 a very difficult docking maneuver. 153 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:08,762 I'm going to turn things over to Officer Hartson now 154 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,499 and he's going to show us how it works. 155 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:16,235 Whoa! 156 00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:18,305 Oohh, yeah! 157 00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:26,480 - Oohh, yeah. - Whoa. 158 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,716 Heh heh heh. 159 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,382 Okay, space campers. 160 00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:33,687 Now, the fun stuff... Orbital mechanics. 161 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,422 Yeah! 162 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,591 Heh heh heh heh. 163 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:41,762 - Heh. Heh-heh. - Heh. 164 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,766 Oohh, yeah! 165 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,904 - Oohh, yeah! - Whoa! 166 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,509 - Oohh, yeah! - Whoa! 167 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:59,045 - Oh! - Whoa... 168 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,117 - Oohh, yeah. - Whoa! 169 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,086 - Oohh, yeah, get it! - Whoa. 170 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,521 - Yeah. - Heh heh heh. 171 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:09,790 I hope you're not spending 172 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,759 too much with the space campers, Serena. 173 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,761 NASA has a lot riding on this mission. 174 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,528 Hey, you guys have to see this. 175 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:16,896 It's amazing. 176 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,031 - Ooh, yeah! - It's these two kids 177 00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:20,867 from Space Camp... They're phenomenal! 178 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,870 They've been doing this for 18 hours 179 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:25,004 without food or water. 180 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,007 It's almost like they have an unhealthy 181 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,908 single-minded obsession with it. 182 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,877 Check this out, Butt-Head. 183 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,087 They're using the robotic arm 184 00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,756 as a secondary backup in case of mechanical failure. 185 00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:44,967 No one's ever thought of that. 186 00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:47,027 Incredible. 187 00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,796 They're brilliant. 188 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,663 Wait a minute. 189 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:54,301 What if we brought them on the mission to do the docking? 190 00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:56,669 You want those two to go up in space 191 00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,639 and dock the actual space shuttle 192 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,206 to the Mir space station? 193 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,884 And also, I thought I was gonna do that... 194 00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:03,110 Think of the PR. 195 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,211 Two at-risk youths turned astronauts? 196 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,179 We could finally get Americans interested 197 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:08,581 in the space program again. 198 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,083 What do we have to lose? - Nothing, I don't think. 199 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,861 They'll never make it through the training. 200 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,654 But if they do? 201 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,489 - Whoa! - Yeah! 202 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,658 We'll see. 203 00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,161 - Oohh, yeah. - Hey, boys. 204 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,395 - Shut up! We're busy. - Let me ask you something. 205 00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:26,399 How would you guys like to do that... 206 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,836 but do it for real? 207 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,504 Whoa. You want us to do that... 208 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,040 for real? - Whoa. Heh heh. 209 00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:36,777 That's right. I want you to do that for real. 210 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,879 In space, with me. 211 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,947 W-w-with you? Heh. Heh. 212 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,783 - That's right. - Whoa! 213 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,150 - Yes! - Absolutely. 214 00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:46,186 Yes! A thousand times yes! 215 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,288 I like your enthusiasm. But it's gonna be hard work. 216 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,892 You're gonna have to practice doing this a lot. 217 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,860 For hours, every day. 218 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,427 Yeah, I... I already do. Yeah, heh. 219 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,797 In the bathroom, yeah. 220 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:59,032 Sometimes, in the teacher's lounge. 221 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,634 Heh-heh. Ma'am. 222 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:03,403 We've been waiting our entire lives for this opportunity. 223 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,772 We will not let you down. 224 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,908 Then let's start your training. 225 00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:10,744 - Yeah! - Heh heh heh. 226 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:16,683 Beavis. 227 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,251 The government is about to train our schlongs. 228 00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:22,422 For all mankind. 229 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:27,226 Whoa! 230 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:31,063 Hey, Butt-Head, what part of sex does this train us for? 231 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,066 Uh... I think it's the part 232 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,034 where your face hurts or something. 233 00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:38,905 Oh, yeah, yeah. That's gonna be good, yeah. 234 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:42,042 Oohh, yeah. 235 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,778 Get it! Yeah, yeah! 236 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,418 Does everybody who scores have to do this? 237 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,120 Uhhh... probably. 238 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,724 - Ugh. - Damn it. 239 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,865 Not bad. 240 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,635 Heh-heh. Heh. 241 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,481 Damn it, Beavis, stop barfing or you're going to 242 00:11:13,505 --> 00:11:14,505 make me bar... 243 00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,313 - Uh... - Yeah, boy. 244 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,916 Well, that concludes your training. 245 00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:24,250 So what do you think? 246 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,652 Are you ready to do it? 247 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,955 Yeah, I was ready before, but now I know how 248 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,956 to do it upside down, or something. 249 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,357 Yeah. 250 00:11:31,423 --> 00:11:33,092 I'm ready to do it right now, if you want. 251 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,594 That's what I like to hear. 252 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,730 Now, go get yourselves cleaned up. 253 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:40,834 Beavis, tomorrow, we are going to score with that lady. 254 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,036 In outer space? 255 00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:44,772 Wherever she wants it. 256 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:47,975 Outer space, the back of a car, I don't care. 257 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,778 Yeah, me neither. 258 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,080 Well? What do you think? 259 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:55,982 I think NASA has a couple new astronauts. 260 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,331 Do you know how few people 261 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,466 have done what you're about to do? 262 00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:15,836 Um. No. 263 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,705 Only 256 men and 49 women. 264 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,841 That's a little more than I was hoping, 265 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,075 but, you know, that's okay. 266 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,043 From 16 different countries, 267 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,813 ranging in age from 28-77. 268 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:29,548 Jesus Christ! We get it. 269 00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:32,119 And that's not even counting the Russian dog and the monkey. 270 00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:33,519 Enough! 271 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,721 Of course, there were some who didn't make it. 272 00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,825 We're not going to be one of those, ma'am. 273 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,960 I can assure you. 274 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,203 Yeah, we understand the risks. 275 00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:43,363 Mr. Beaven. Mr. Boothroid. 276 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,265 You're the youngest astronauts ever on the space shuttle. 277 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,668 What's this moment feel like? 278 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,503 Oh, hold on a second. 279 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,404 I've got something I want to say. 280 00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:53,807 Heh heh heh. 281 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,009 Um, I just wanna say 282 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,777 I've wanted to do this my whole life, 283 00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,913 but I never thought it would really happen, 284 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,782 and I dreamed about it every night 285 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,616 and then... and then I'd wake up 286 00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:07,921 and feel ashamed and I'd try to hide it from my mom. 287 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,190 But today, my dream will come true. 288 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,658 - Heh heh heh. - And, um, 289 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:14,226 I just want to say that makes me the luckiest man 290 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:17,463 in the world. 291 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,838 Boi-oi-oi-oing! 292 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:30,977 10, 9, 8, 7, 6... 293 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,846 Counting sucks. 294 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:38,250 2, 1, lift-off. 295 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,721 Fire! Fire! Fire! 296 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:51,498 Endeavor, you are a go for orbital operations. 297 00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:54,033 Damn it. 298 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,835 I think the floor's not working. 299 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,537 How are you boys doing? 300 00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,606 Well, Serena, um, do you wanna like just do it right now? 301 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,142 Or I was thinking maybe we could... 302 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,509 We don't need you 303 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:04,953 until we dock with the Mir in three hours. 304 00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:09,115 Until then, do you wanna see something amazing? 305 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:21,193 Sunrise over Mother Earth. 306 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:24,530 Incredible, isn't it? 307 00:14:24,596 --> 00:14:26,599 Is it three hours yet? 308 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,768 This is the best view on the whole ship. 309 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,703 That's why they put the controls for the telescope here. 310 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:34,573 Don't mess with those, unless you want to risk 311 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,277 breaking a $2 billion piece of equipment. 312 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,913 Now it's probably three hours, right? 313 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:46,385 Take it all in while you can. Just think, all of life, 314 00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,955 everything we've ever known, 315 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:51,457 is down there on that beautiful blue marble. 316 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,467 Ehh. The Earth sucks. 317 00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:04,171 Let's mess with those things. 318 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,173 Heh heh heh. 319 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,284 All I see is, like, nighttime or something. 320 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,586 Let's point it at the sun. 321 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:25,125 Cool, yeah. Heh heh. Maybe we'll see some fire. 322 00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:32,565 Let's have a look here. See what we can see. 323 00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:35,368 Aah! 324 00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:38,937 I saw something but, like, it went away. 325 00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:41,774 Try the other eye. You've got two of them. 326 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,110 Oh yeah, yeah, heh. Good idea. 327 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,846 Look over here and... aah! 328 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,048 Beavis, you can't do anything right. 329 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,817 Step aside. 330 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,735 Okay, boys. It's go time. 331 00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:18,144 - It's kinda dark. - Let me help you there. 332 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,147 It can be tough, your first time in space. 333 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,349 Thank you, ma'am. 334 00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:23,649 Are you ready to do it? 335 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,960 Yeah, but I thought you wanted us 336 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,352 to do the docking first. 337 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,788 Commence docking sequence. 338 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,870 See? They're doing great. 339 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,913 Wait. What are you doing? 340 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:56,615 What are they doing? 341 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,956 - No, no, stop! - No, no, no... 342 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,438 What's going on? 343 00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:10,630 Whoa! 344 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,401 Ow! Somebody hit us! 345 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,771 Fire! 346 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:22,008 Fire! Fire! 347 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,277 Damn it, I can't see it. 348 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,914 Fire! 349 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,721 Endeavor. 350 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,723 Endeavor, can you hear me? 351 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,296 We copy, Houston. 352 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,664 Endeavor, your situation is critical. 353 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,201 You've lost 91% of your oxygen 354 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:51,403 and 93% of the fuel you need to return to Earth. 355 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,971 The Mir has been damaged, 356 00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:55,607 causing an international incident with Russia. 357 00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:58,076 We've missed our window to observe the black hole 358 00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:01,580 which will next be this close to Earth in 34 trillion years. 359 00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,316 Also... 360 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,689 And now we've lost comms with Earth. 361 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,022 Uhh... 362 00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:12,667 well, if you're looking for some good news, 363 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:15,127 I can see again. 364 00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,996 Yeah, we're ready to try the docking now. 365 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,566 Looks like you guys got in a wreck. 366 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,667 Heh-heh. Yeah, what happened? 367 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,635 We're gonna make it back to Earth. 368 00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:25,204 I promise you that. 369 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,806 But here's the problem. 370 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,575 I don't know how to say this, 371 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,718 so I'm just gonna get right to it. 372 00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:31,042 There are seven of us, 373 00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:33,480 and we only have enough oxygen for five people 374 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,980 to make it home alive. 375 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,083 So we all have a decision to make. 376 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:41,854 Two people need to sacrifice themselves. 377 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,823 Um, heh. Now, look, um, heh. 378 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,625 I-I think we're all thinking the same thing here. 379 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,295 Can we put the TV back on? 380 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,631 Yeah, but something cool this time, 'cause that show sucked. 381 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:54,634 Yeah, yeah, really. "You have no oxygen." 382 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,403 Blah, blah, blah, blah. - No, we can't put 383 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,171 the TV back on... That was our last 384 00:18:58,238 --> 00:18:59,605 communication with Earth. 385 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,673 - You know... - Captain, if I can make 386 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,809 a suggestion... - Guys. 387 00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:06,077 I volunteer. 388 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:08,480 - Captain, no. - You can't be serious. 389 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,517 I'm the captain of this ship. 390 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,684 It would be easy to blame our predicament 391 00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:15,387 on the mistakes of two absolute idiots. 392 00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:17,523 Boy, I'm glad you said it and not us. 393 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:19,491 Heh-heh. - Yeah, really. 394 00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,861 Where'd you find these two dumbasses? 395 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:25,632 No, you! I'm clearly talking about you. 396 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,335 But I chose you for this mission. 397 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,836 And ultimately, 398 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,704 the responsibility lies with me. 399 00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,540 I'll volunteer too. 400 00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:36,409 If this is the end, 401 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,778 I wanna make it count for something. 402 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,980 End. 403 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:45,518 I'm gonna put on my suit and take one last spacewalk. 404 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,954 It's how I always wanted to go. 405 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,392 Wait a minute, where's she going? 406 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,160 Is it time to score? Heh heh heh. 407 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,962 Beavis, they put us in this rocket thing 408 00:19:57,028 --> 00:20:00,199 To score with Serena. 409 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:03,536 It's gonna be one giant leap for our schlongs. 410 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,239 Yeah, for all mankind. 411 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:11,844 Uh, Serena? 412 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,480 What? 413 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,648 I-I just wanted to thank you for choosing us for this honor. 414 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,116 I know I'm not the first guy 415 00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:20,586 most people would pick, but you did and... 416 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,323 and I'll be thankful for the rest of my life. 417 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,790 That's all. 418 00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:28,193 Your actions this day will not soon be forgotten. 419 00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:31,196 Maybe I misjudged you two. 420 00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:32,798 Listen. 421 00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:37,436 This belonged to my grandmother. She used to tell me, 422 00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:39,538 "Keep dreaming your dreams." - Mm-hmm. 423 00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,874 "One day, they might just come true." 424 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,443 - Ha. - I want you to have it. 425 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:45,912 Okay. Heh. 426 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,914 Watch me through the window, doing what I love. 427 00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:50,782 One last time. 428 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:52,785 My dream's over... - Uh-huh. 429 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:56,221 But I hope someday your dream comes true. 430 00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:01,059 I've gotta go put on my suit. 431 00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,632 Whoa, she wants us to watch her change through the window. 432 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:06,898 Heh heh heh heh. 433 00:21:06,965 --> 00:21:08,500 Are you sure about that, Butt-Head? 434 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,737 Of course, dumbass. You heard her. 435 00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,270 She said watch me through the window 436 00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:13,578 and your dreams will come true. 437 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,074 Oh yeah. 438 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,509 And she gave us this bracelet to seal the deal. 439 00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:20,011 Yeah. 440 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,624 Oh, yeah. Heh. 441 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:46,873 Are you shitting me? 442 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:55,382 Okay. I've had enough of these dickheads. 443 00:22:03,855 --> 00:22:06,526 Enjoy space. 444 00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,193 Now that I'm about to be captain, 445 00:22:08,259 --> 00:22:10,829 things are gonna be a little different around here. 446 00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:12,865 First of all... oh. Hello! 447 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,634 I have some extremely distressing news to share. 448 00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:17,769 Specialist Beavis and Specialist Butt-Head 449 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,806 made the very brave and noble decision 450 00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,973 to sacrifice themselves. 451 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,744 - Oh, that's awful. - What a tragedy. 452 00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:28,615 So, no reason for me to volunteer, then? 453 00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,383 Okay. 454 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,118 Just so we're clear, then... I un-volunteer. 455 00:22:33,184 --> 00:22:35,221 I did volunteer, you know. For the record. 456 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,722 You can tell people. 457 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,295 Aah! 458 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:45,297 - Aah! - Ohh... 459 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,900 Believe me, I tried to talk them out of it. 460 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:50,169 But they felt it was the right thing to do, 461 00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:53,204 and they left the airlock before I could stop them. 462 00:22:53,271 --> 00:22:55,741 - Oh, no... - But while their tragically, 463 00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:58,144 brief lives may be over, 464 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,946 they will live forever in our memories. 465 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,252 Yeah. 466 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,130 The elaborate dance of seduction continues. 467 00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:21,232 Yeah, she really knows how to build the anticipation. 468 00:23:21,299 --> 00:23:23,536 You know what I'm saying? 469 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:26,538 Whoa! Um, Butt-Head? 470 00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:27,906 What is that thing? 471 00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:31,242 It feels like sucking us in or something. 472 00:23:31,309 --> 00:23:35,213 Uh... it looks like some kind of gigantic hole. 473 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,218 And it's black. Wait a minute, Beavis. 474 00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:41,052 I think I know what kind of hole this is. 475 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:42,788 Really? 476 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:44,222 It's a butthole. 477 00:23:44,289 --> 00:23:46,959 No, no, no. No way. No thanks. 478 00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:49,295 I don't want to die in a butthole! 479 00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:53,633 I have dreams about it all the time... no! No way! 480 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,602 - Settle down, Beavis. - Uh-oh-ahh! 481 00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:06,813 - Aah! - Aah! 482 00:24:24,430 --> 00:24:25,765 Umm, Butt-Head. 483 00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:27,398 Where are we? 484 00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:32,572 - Uh... I don't know. - Are we still in space? 485 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:35,441 Whoa, Beavis. You're not gonna believe this. 486 00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:38,477 Look at that number, up there on the billboard. 487 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:39,778 Let's see, um... heh. 488 00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:43,115 There's a two. And then, um, some kind of circle. 489 00:24:43,182 --> 00:24:44,717 And I don't know what that is, 490 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:46,127 I've never seen one of those before. 491 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:47,720 No, dumbass. Not that number. 492 00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:49,454 That one. 493 00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:51,123 69. 494 00:24:54,226 --> 00:24:58,430 Um, so anyway, um, are we still in space, though? 495 00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:04,135 Whoa, Beavis. Look, it's Serena. 496 00:25:04,202 --> 00:25:06,071 Whoa! 497 00:25:06,137 --> 00:25:08,339 I guess she like made a big sign so we'd remember 498 00:25:08,406 --> 00:25:10,375 we're supposed to score with her. 499 00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:11,678 Oh, yeah, yeah. 500 00:25:11,743 --> 00:25:13,546 You know, that's really thoughtful of her, 501 00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:15,847 she's a really nice lady. 502 00:25:15,914 --> 00:25:17,817 Well, let's go do her. 503 00:25:24,289 --> 00:25:27,594 The missing nuke is somewhere here in the Caucasus Mountains. 504 00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:29,796 It is our nation's highest priority to find it. 505 00:25:29,862 --> 00:25:31,897 It's happened. 506 00:25:31,963 --> 00:25:34,099 Excuse me. 507 00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:37,469 We've detected a major space-time breach 508 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:38,837 in American airspace. 509 00:25:38,904 --> 00:25:40,673 My God. 510 00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:42,540 And something came through it... 511 00:25:42,608 --> 00:25:44,210 Two lifeforms. 512 00:25:44,276 --> 00:25:47,278 Who could it be? The Chinese... Russia? 513 00:25:47,346 --> 00:25:49,080 Or aliens. 514 00:25:49,147 --> 00:25:51,683 This is why we needed that space telescope 515 00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:54,486 to observe the black hole in '98... damn it! 516 00:25:54,552 --> 00:25:55,721 Whatever they are, 517 00:25:55,788 --> 00:25:57,789 we need to get down there and find them. 518 00:25:57,856 --> 00:25:59,592 And dissect them. 519 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:02,994 Get Alpha Team on the plane. We're wheels up in five minutes. 520 00:26:13,538 --> 00:26:14,973 That's better. 521 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,276 You can't score with these things on. 522 00:26:20,011 --> 00:26:21,847 Greetings, Beavis and Butt-Head. 523 00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:24,150 We bring you a grave warning. 524 00:26:24,215 --> 00:26:28,519 Uh... who are you fart knockers? 525 00:26:28,586 --> 00:26:31,057 We are you, from what your primitive planet 526 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:33,092 would call an "alternate universe." 527 00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:35,461 - A what? - An alternate universe. 528 00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:38,430 Uh... a what? 529 00:26:38,497 --> 00:26:42,634 Um, did you see the cartoon Spider-Man movie, per chance? 530 00:26:42,701 --> 00:26:45,037 - Uh... no. - Oh. 531 00:26:45,104 --> 00:26:47,605 That would have made explaining it a lot easier. 532 00:26:47,673 --> 00:26:50,308 Our names are unknowable to your puny brains. 533 00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:52,411 But you may call us Smart Beavis 534 00:26:52,478 --> 00:26:53,980 and Smart Butt-Head. 535 00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,682 You see, in infinite universes, 536 00:26:55,748 --> 00:26:58,250 there are infinite iterations of every person. 537 00:26:58,317 --> 00:27:01,086 Every possible version of you exists, 538 00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:04,355 and we are the most intelligent versions. 539 00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:08,160 Uh... did any of the other versions ever score? 540 00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:09,627 No. 541 00:27:09,695 --> 00:27:12,431 No version of Beavis and Butt-Head has ever scored. 542 00:27:12,498 --> 00:27:15,267 That is true in every reality. 543 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:16,736 Cool. 544 00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,636 We're gonna be the first ones. 545 00:27:18,704 --> 00:27:20,006 Oh, yeah. 546 00:27:20,071 --> 00:27:21,406 Humorous, quite humorous. Yes. 547 00:27:21,472 --> 00:27:23,509 Droll, very droll, yes. Whimsical. 548 00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:26,377 That is amusing, yes. Quite jocular, yes. 549 00:27:26,444 --> 00:27:28,213 Mirthful, yes. 550 00:27:28,279 --> 00:27:30,182 Okay, that's enough frivolity. 551 00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:31,689 When you went through the black hole, 552 00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,853 you traveled through a five-dimensional portal 553 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,421 in space and time. 554 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,689 But in so doing, 555 00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:38,924 you damaged the delicate structure of the cosmos. 556 00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,859 Damage is cool. 557 00:27:40,926 --> 00:27:42,729 And now, both of our universes 558 00:27:42,795 --> 00:27:44,730 face total destruction. 559 00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:46,766 And so we come to you for help. 560 00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,233 There's a space-time portal 561 00:27:48,299 --> 00:27:49,935 that will return you to your time. 562 00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:53,404 You must enter this portal before it closes in two days, 563 00:27:53,471 --> 00:27:57,343 or everything you have ever known will be gone forever. 564 00:27:57,409 --> 00:27:59,444 The portal is located on the highest point 565 00:27:59,510 --> 00:28:02,548 on your planet, atop your "Mount Everest." 566 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,250 This is your quest. 567 00:28:04,316 --> 00:28:06,684 You have exactly two days. 568 00:28:06,752 --> 00:28:08,253 May science be with you. 569 00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:10,923 You said "mount," Smart Beavis. 570 00:28:10,990 --> 00:28:12,258 Yes, their primitive language 571 00:28:12,324 --> 00:28:14,059 has two meanings for that word, yes. 572 00:28:14,125 --> 00:28:15,227 Humorous, quite jocular. 573 00:28:15,294 --> 00:28:17,496 Very droll and whimsical, yes, yes. 574 00:28:19,397 --> 00:28:22,067 - What did they say? - Uhh. I don't know. 575 00:28:22,134 --> 00:28:25,671 I think they were like British or something. 576 00:28:25,738 --> 00:28:27,573 Okay, now let's go score. 577 00:28:30,142 --> 00:28:31,943 Um, we're here for Serena. 578 00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:33,846 She probably told you about us. 579 00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:35,681 So if you can just like, you know, 580 00:28:35,748 --> 00:28:37,682 tell her we're ready to get down with it. 581 00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:38,951 Heh heh heh heh. 582 00:28:39,018 --> 00:28:40,987 Okay, so you want to volunteer? 583 00:28:41,052 --> 00:28:43,789 Maybe do some canvassing for Serena? 584 00:28:43,855 --> 00:28:45,490 Canvassing? 585 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,393 We've never done this before, so like, 586 00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,694 maybe just, you know, the regular way. 587 00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:51,697 I wanna volunteer my wiener. 588 00:28:53,164 --> 00:28:55,101 Why don't we just step over here 589 00:28:55,166 --> 00:28:56,836 so we can get a picture of you two. 590 00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:58,881 Do we need to, like, take our clothes off or something? 591 00:28:58,904 --> 00:28:59,971 Yeah. 592 00:29:00,038 --> 00:29:01,606 We're gonna score! 593 00:29:04,710 --> 00:29:06,577 Oh, these polls are horseshit. 594 00:29:06,644 --> 00:29:08,881 Can you remind me why I'm paying you 595 00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:10,548 to get me re-elected governor? 596 00:29:10,615 --> 00:29:13,684 And me re-elected lieutenant governor, which is also... 597 00:29:13,751 --> 00:29:15,596 Well, Governor, our new strategy is youth outreach. 598 00:29:15,621 --> 00:29:17,101 - Youth outreach. - Our campaign teams 599 00:29:17,155 --> 00:29:18,432 have been recruiting young volunteers 600 00:29:18,457 --> 00:29:19,724 to use for a new ad campaign. 601 00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,961 We brought some pictures for you to look at. 602 00:29:22,028 --> 00:29:23,863 - Pictures, okay. - No, no. 603 00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:25,596 Loser. Eww. 604 00:29:25,663 --> 00:29:27,665 No. 605 00:29:30,635 --> 00:29:32,538 Clear the room. 606 00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:37,308 I'm assuming you wanted me to stay, 607 00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:38,676 because I'm second in command. 608 00:29:38,743 --> 00:29:40,211 Look at this. 609 00:29:40,278 --> 00:29:42,147 They look exactly like those kids I killed 610 00:29:42,213 --> 00:29:43,714 on the mission in '98. 611 00:29:43,781 --> 00:29:45,750 Wow. They really do. 612 00:29:45,817 --> 00:29:48,253 But they can't be the same kids... that's impossible. 613 00:29:48,319 --> 00:29:51,423 It's them. I know it. 614 00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:55,827 I spent three weeks stranded in space because of those two, 615 00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:57,628 certain I would die. 616 00:29:57,695 --> 00:29:59,597 Drinking my own urine. 617 00:29:59,664 --> 00:30:02,201 We had to eat flight specialist Jung. 618 00:30:02,268 --> 00:30:04,269 Yeah, I didn't actually get to eat any... 619 00:30:04,336 --> 00:30:05,537 And then 24 years 620 00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:07,405 haunted that I had killed two people, 621 00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:09,674 that the world would find out what I'd done. 622 00:30:09,740 --> 00:30:11,777 Yes, sometimes I wish I didn't know that 623 00:30:11,844 --> 00:30:13,880 because it sorta puts me in a tricky position 624 00:30:13,945 --> 00:30:15,346 going-to-jail-wise. 625 00:30:15,413 --> 00:30:17,392 They must have fallen into the black hole somehow. 626 00:30:17,415 --> 00:30:19,885 Traveled through an Einstein-Rosen wormhole. 627 00:30:19,951 --> 00:30:21,752 That's amazing. 628 00:30:21,819 --> 00:30:23,464 I mean, we have to tell the scientific community... 629 00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:25,892 We have to kill them before they tell everyone what I did. 630 00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:28,259 Right kill them. Yep. Mm-hmm, no, that's what I meant. 631 00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:29,494 That's yeah, okay, good. 632 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:30,840 I just hope we're not too late. 633 00:30:30,896 --> 00:30:32,131 Get the helicopter. 634 00:30:32,198 --> 00:30:34,200 Tell them I'm gonna go visit some sick... 635 00:30:34,266 --> 00:30:37,269 I don't know... veterans or dogs. 636 00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,538 Why wasn't she there, Butt-Head? 637 00:30:39,605 --> 00:30:41,240 Why would she put up a big picture 638 00:30:41,307 --> 00:30:43,209 of herself and then not be there? 639 00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:45,810 Uh... it's a little game she's playing. 640 00:30:45,877 --> 00:30:48,047 She wants us to chase her. 641 00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:51,083 Oh yeah. Here we come. 642 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:53,384 Excuse me. Excuse me. 643 00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:55,820 Please would you to take this? 644 00:30:55,887 --> 00:30:57,990 - Uh, take it? - Yes. 645 00:30:58,057 --> 00:30:59,325 Okay. 646 00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:04,195 No, you hold like this and look here. 647 00:31:04,262 --> 00:31:06,765 Whoa. Check it out, Beavis. 648 00:31:06,832 --> 00:31:09,734 That guy just gave us a cool little TV. 649 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,804 Heh. Do you have any bigger TVs? 650 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:15,740 Uh, this show sucks. 651 00:31:15,807 --> 00:31:18,743 It's like just these fat people standing there. 652 00:31:18,809 --> 00:31:21,646 I don't know, Butt-Head. It's not that bad. Heh heh. 653 00:31:21,712 --> 00:31:23,148 Is good? 654 00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:24,715 Should we back up? 655 00:31:24,782 --> 00:31:27,019 Uh, Okay. 656 00:31:27,086 --> 00:31:29,520 Like this or more backing up? 657 00:31:29,587 --> 00:31:31,123 Uh... 658 00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:33,058 We're trying to watch TV. 659 00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:36,295 Like thi... ahh! 660 00:31:40,598 --> 00:31:42,067 That was cool. 661 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,403 Yeah, it's like the show really found itself, you know. 662 00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:47,272 Glad we stuck with it. 663 00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:53,845 Uh, we want some nachos, but we don't have any money. 664 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:56,214 So why don't you just pay with your phone? 665 00:31:56,281 --> 00:31:58,616 Uh... you mean this thing? 666 00:31:58,683 --> 00:32:01,220 Here. I'll show you, what's your password? 667 00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:03,955 Ehh, password? 668 00:32:04,022 --> 00:32:06,791 Your password is password. 669 00:32:06,857 --> 00:32:10,028 That's original. 670 00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:14,465 Whoa, we just paid for that with this? 671 00:32:14,532 --> 00:32:16,377 Yeah, you can pay for anything with your phone. 672 00:32:16,402 --> 00:32:18,737 Whoa. Anything? 673 00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:21,539 That's right. Anything at all. 674 00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:24,476 Beavis, this changes everything. 675 00:32:26,644 --> 00:32:28,047 ♪ Shit, Scottie, shit ♪ 676 00:32:28,114 --> 00:32:30,082 ♪ Let's make it rain on these niggas ♪ 677 00:32:32,151 --> 00:32:34,353 ♪ Yeah, I'm in this business of terror ♪ 678 00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:37,489 ♪ Got a handful of stacks, better grab an umbrella ♪ 679 00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:39,057 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain ♪ 680 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:40,759 ♪ I'm in this business of terror ♪ 681 00:32:40,826 --> 00:32:42,760 ♪ Got a handful of stacks ♪ 682 00:32:42,827 --> 00:32:44,296 ♪ Better grab an umbrella ♪ 683 00:32:44,363 --> 00:32:45,640 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain ♪ 684 00:32:45,663 --> 00:32:47,266 ♪ Make it rain on them hos ♪ 685 00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:49,000 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain ♪ 686 00:32:49,067 --> 00:32:51,237 ♪ I make it rain on them hos, I make it rain ♪ 687 00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:53,572 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain on them hos ♪ 688 00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:55,507 ♪ I make it rain, I make it rain ♪ 689 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:57,108 ♪ I make it rain on them hos ♪ 690 00:32:57,175 --> 00:32:59,677 ♪ Cr-cr-crack crack crack crack crack ♪ 691 00:32:59,744 --> 00:33:01,113 ♪ You hear the echo ♪ 692 00:33:01,180 --> 00:33:02,548 ♪ Man, I seen the best go ♪ 693 00:33:02,614 --> 00:33:04,016 ♪ Cuz he ain't had that metal ♪ 694 00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:05,717 ♪ I'm a hustla hustla ♪ 695 00:33:05,784 --> 00:33:07,353 ♪ A pusher's pusher ♪ 696 00:33:07,419 --> 00:33:09,087 - Ugh! - ♪ You busta customer ♪ 697 00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:10,521 ♪ I get you sum cooka ♪ 698 00:33:10,588 --> 00:33:12,223 ♪ Yeah, crack is a chemist ♪ 699 00:33:12,290 --> 00:33:13,959 ♪ I pack an 11 ♪ 700 00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:15,493 ♪ I'm mackin' a 7 ♪ 701 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,262 ♪ I clap at your reverend ♪ 702 00:33:17,328 --> 00:33:18,663 ♪ I'll see you in NY ♪ 703 00:33:18,730 --> 00:33:20,098 ♪ I'll send you an invite... ♪ 704 00:33:23,868 --> 00:33:26,637 Sir, based on eyewitness interviews, 705 00:33:26,704 --> 00:33:28,740 we've made a composite sketch of the life forms. 706 00:33:30,808 --> 00:33:33,845 Whatever they are, they're definitely not human. 707 00:33:36,714 --> 00:33:40,618 Uh, send up 100 more orders of nachos. 708 00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:43,989 Hey Butt-Head, this phone kicks ass and everything. 709 00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:45,923 But we need to find Serena. 710 00:33:45,990 --> 00:33:47,526 Shut up, Beavis. 711 00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:49,394 I'm speaking with the nacho man. 712 00:33:50,862 --> 00:33:53,531 You see what I have to deal with? 713 00:33:53,598 --> 00:33:56,468 Hey, seriously. Siri: How can I help you? 714 00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:59,371 Whoa, um, who is this? 715 00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:01,640 I'm Siri. I'm here to help. 716 00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:03,409 It's Serena. Hey Butt-Head. 717 00:34:03,474 --> 00:34:04,410 Butt-Head! - Damn it, Beavis, 718 00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:06,678 I told you to shut up. 719 00:34:06,744 --> 00:34:11,382 Do those nachos come with side orders of nachos? 720 00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:13,552 Hey, hello. 721 00:34:13,619 --> 00:34:16,621 - How can I help you? - Hey, how's it going? Yeah. 722 00:34:16,688 --> 00:34:18,623 Good to talk to you. Yeah. 723 00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:21,793 So, um, I was wondering, um, you know, like, um, 724 00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:24,163 when we're going to score you know? 725 00:34:24,230 --> 00:34:27,398 Notre Dame is losing to Alabama 7 to 0. 726 00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:29,101 Yeah, that's interesting. 727 00:34:29,168 --> 00:34:31,902 Um, so um, I know you probably like Butt-Head more, 728 00:34:31,969 --> 00:34:34,539 but I was thinking... - I don't understand Butt-Head. 729 00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:36,675 Yeah, me neither. 730 00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:38,943 Like, he thinks he can tell me what to do, 731 00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:41,579 and he's always trying to kick my ass for no reason. 732 00:34:41,646 --> 00:34:43,282 And it just gets old after a while. 733 00:34:43,349 --> 00:34:45,284 You know? I'm tired of it. 734 00:34:45,351 --> 00:34:47,418 How can I help you? 735 00:34:47,485 --> 00:34:49,920 Oh, just you know, like, listening you know, 736 00:34:49,987 --> 00:34:51,590 helps a lot. 737 00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:53,268 I guess I never really had anybody, you know, like to 738 00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:56,161 actually listen like when I'm talking and stuff, you know? 739 00:34:56,228 --> 00:34:57,329 Heh heh heh. 740 00:34:57,396 --> 00:34:59,530 Like nobody hears the real Beavis. 741 00:34:59,597 --> 00:35:01,432 You know what I'm saying? 742 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,369 I don't understand Beavis. 743 00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:05,304 You know, neither do I sometimes. 744 00:35:05,371 --> 00:35:08,907 Yeah. Neither do I. 745 00:35:08,974 --> 00:35:11,510 And don't skimp on the nacho cheese sauce, 746 00:35:11,577 --> 00:35:13,278 or I'm talking to the manager. 747 00:35:13,344 --> 00:35:15,246 Ugh. 748 00:35:15,313 --> 00:35:18,817 Beavis? Beavis? 749 00:35:18,884 --> 00:35:21,052 You know, it's like sometimes when I talk to you, 750 00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:23,521 you know, I have this like strange feeling. 751 00:35:23,588 --> 00:35:26,692 It's like I'm happy and sad at the same time. 752 00:35:26,757 --> 00:35:28,393 I don't know what it means. 753 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:30,496 Do you want me to search the web? 754 00:35:30,561 --> 00:35:34,365 Yeah, spider webs kick ass. Yeah. 755 00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:36,768 Maybe we can search for some. Yeah. 756 00:35:36,835 --> 00:35:39,371 A spider web is a structure created by a spider 757 00:35:39,438 --> 00:35:41,172 out of proteinaceous spider silk. 758 00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:45,510 It feels good to talk. 759 00:35:45,577 --> 00:35:48,012 Open the door, butthole. 760 00:35:48,079 --> 00:35:50,748 - I don't understand butthole. - Leave us alone! 761 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,527 Damn it, Beavis, are you talking to Serena? 762 00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:54,085 Unlock the door now! 763 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,820 I can't unlock the door. 764 00:35:55,887 --> 00:35:57,856 First you need to set up the Home app. 765 00:35:57,922 --> 00:35:59,666 Would you like me to help you set up your home? 766 00:35:59,690 --> 00:36:02,293 Wait a minute. You're in our home? 767 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,264 Would you like me to help you set up your home? 768 00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:07,532 Butt-Head, she's at the house! 769 00:36:07,599 --> 00:36:10,601 We need to go home right now so we can score. 770 00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:14,940 Notre Dame is losing to Alabama 17-10. 771 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,445 Walking directions to 322 Woodson St., Highland, Texas. 772 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:24,550 Wood. 773 00:36:24,615 --> 00:36:27,085 Your trip will take 167 hours. 774 00:36:27,152 --> 00:36:30,621 We'll be there before sunset, Beavis. 775 00:36:35,327 --> 00:36:37,596 We just missed them, sir. 776 00:36:40,197 --> 00:36:42,367 They wanted us to find this. 777 00:36:45,436 --> 00:36:48,574 Definitely not human. 778 00:36:48,639 --> 00:36:50,050 They paid for the room with a phone, 779 00:36:50,074 --> 00:36:52,510 so we were able to get a recording of their voices. 780 00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:55,646 Woodson. 781 00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:58,516 You have wood, son. 782 00:36:58,583 --> 00:36:59,951 Boing. 783 00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:01,820 It's crude, but they're learning 784 00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:03,722 to approximate human speech. 785 00:37:03,789 --> 00:37:06,692 I'll know more when I dissect their mouthparts. 786 00:37:06,757 --> 00:37:08,092 We've got GPS lock on the phone. 787 00:37:08,159 --> 00:37:09,094 Let's move. 788 00:37:09,159 --> 00:37:11,096 Governor, oh, my gosh, 789 00:37:11,161 --> 00:37:13,331 I can't believe I finally get to meet you. 790 00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:14,733 And I'm the lieuten... 791 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,202 I'm just so interested in all my young supporters, 792 00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:19,570 but particularly these two. 793 00:37:19,637 --> 00:37:21,440 Oh, them. 794 00:37:21,507 --> 00:37:23,442 Did they say anything about me? 795 00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:25,777 Or tell you why they were here? 796 00:37:25,844 --> 00:37:28,146 No. Mostly they just laughed a lot. 797 00:37:28,213 --> 00:37:30,315 From the minute I introduced myself. 798 00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,518 Introduced yourself? 799 00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:34,286 What's your name? 800 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:35,487 I'm Richard Whack. 801 00:37:35,554 --> 00:37:38,155 Dick Whack. 802 00:37:38,222 --> 00:37:40,659 Well, I've always gone by Richard for that very rea... 803 00:37:40,726 --> 00:37:43,061 - It really is them. - Damm it. 804 00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:45,996 Order a roadblock on all roads leading out of town. 805 00:37:46,063 --> 00:37:47,875 Say it's... do people still care about terrorism? 806 00:37:47,898 --> 00:37:50,201 - I do, Governor. - Let's go with that. 807 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,237 And so does the whole Whack family. 808 00:37:52,304 --> 00:37:55,273 Um, Butt-Head, um, I was wondering something, um... 809 00:37:55,340 --> 00:37:57,643 I had a conversation with this chick one time. 810 00:37:57,708 --> 00:38:00,077 And so, um, I was wondering, um, 811 00:38:00,144 --> 00:38:03,248 how do you know when you're like, in love? 812 00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:04,782 You know, what I'm saying? 813 00:38:04,849 --> 00:38:07,117 What wuss-ass thing did you just say, Beavis? 814 00:38:07,184 --> 00:38:09,119 Uh, never mind, never mind. 815 00:38:09,186 --> 00:38:11,056 I'm just gonna take a whiz, Butt-Head. 816 00:38:11,121 --> 00:38:13,023 I'll just go ahead and get that from you. 817 00:38:13,090 --> 00:38:15,260 Be right back. - Uh, okay. 818 00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:17,528 Hey, Serena. How's it going? 819 00:38:17,596 --> 00:38:19,431 I'm happy to be here. 820 00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:22,266 It's good to hear your voice. 821 00:38:22,333 --> 00:38:23,702 I can't change my voice. 822 00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:25,471 But you can do it yourself in settings. 823 00:38:25,536 --> 00:38:27,873 Oh, no, no, no, I like your voice. 824 00:38:27,938 --> 00:38:31,141 I just want to say, you know, like, um, 825 00:38:31,208 --> 00:38:33,378 we were eating some nachos, you know? 826 00:38:33,445 --> 00:38:35,447 And I love nachos, you know? 827 00:38:35,514 --> 00:38:38,282 And then, um, and then I was thinking about you and me. 828 00:38:38,349 --> 00:38:42,219 And I just want to say that I also love, um, 829 00:38:42,286 --> 00:38:44,054 I mean... 830 00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:46,257 I didn't get that. Could you try again? 831 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:48,326 You know what I'm talking about though, right? 832 00:38:48,393 --> 00:38:51,996 You know, it's a word that starts with an L, I think, 833 00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:55,601 or something, I mean, maybe you could say it first. 834 00:38:55,666 --> 00:38:57,168 I mean, you know, if you want to. 835 00:38:58,869 --> 00:39:01,239 Sorry, I'm having trouble connecting to the network. 836 00:39:01,306 --> 00:39:04,175 Uh-huh. And? And? 837 00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:05,677 Damn it, Beavis. 838 00:39:05,744 --> 00:39:07,746 You better not be talking to Serena in there. 839 00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:10,248 No, no, I'm just spanking my monkey. 840 00:39:10,315 --> 00:39:11,782 You better be. 841 00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:13,885 I don't understand spanking my monkey. 842 00:39:13,952 --> 00:39:16,987 Damn it, Beavis, you lying son of a bitch. 843 00:39:20,157 --> 00:39:23,161 Anyway, Serena, I was just gonna say, 844 00:39:23,228 --> 00:39:24,730 and I've never said this 845 00:39:24,795 --> 00:39:27,565 to any girl before but, um... 846 00:39:27,632 --> 00:39:30,268 I... I love... 847 00:39:31,969 --> 00:39:33,472 - Damn it! - No, no, no. 848 00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:35,974 No! 849 00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,009 We just lost the phone signal. 850 00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:39,143 Damn it! 851 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:41,346 You dumbass. 852 00:39:41,413 --> 00:39:44,682 Now get it before it gets all covered with turds. 853 00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:48,619 I don't see it, Butt-Head. Maybe it's deeper in. 854 00:39:48,686 --> 00:39:50,489 If I can just get... 855 00:39:50,556 --> 00:39:53,090 Get me out of here! 856 00:39:53,157 --> 00:39:56,393 - Do you see it now? - It stinks! 857 00:39:56,461 --> 00:39:58,929 Damn it, Beavis, you gotta really get down there. 858 00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:01,132 You're not even trying. - Come on. Help me. 859 00:40:01,199 --> 00:40:04,635 Uh, okay, Beavis, I'll help you. 860 00:40:04,702 --> 00:40:06,572 Guess I have to do everything myself. 861 00:40:06,637 --> 00:40:07,905 Get me out of here now! 862 00:40:07,972 --> 00:40:10,876 Come on, get in there, you lazy son of a bitch. 863 00:40:10,942 --> 00:40:13,210 There's turds down here! 864 00:40:13,277 --> 00:40:15,847 I don't care about your turds, Beavis. 865 00:40:15,914 --> 00:40:19,784 Now get down there. We need that phone to score. 866 00:40:19,851 --> 00:40:22,128 They must have known we were tracking their phone and put it 867 00:40:22,152 --> 00:40:25,523 in some sort of signal blocking device or Faraday cage. 868 00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:27,324 They've studied our tradecraft. 869 00:40:27,391 --> 00:40:28,860 They're good. 870 00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:31,762 Aah! Turd! 871 00:40:40,237 --> 00:40:42,007 Damn it! 872 00:40:42,072 --> 00:40:43,509 What's rolling around down there? 873 00:40:43,574 --> 00:40:45,242 Get me outta here! 874 00:40:46,677 --> 00:40:47,878 There's turds down here. 875 00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:03,961 ♪ On the road again... ♪ 876 00:41:04,028 --> 00:41:05,764 Time to wake up, Beavis. 877 00:41:05,831 --> 00:41:07,498 Ah! Ah! Where am I? 878 00:41:07,565 --> 00:41:11,302 Turds! 879 00:41:19,978 --> 00:41:22,347 If I can... I can see it... 880 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:23,914 I found it! 881 00:41:24,882 --> 00:41:26,952 Damn it, that's not a phone. 882 00:41:27,818 --> 00:41:29,420 There it is, dumbass. 883 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:32,056 Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't see it there. 884 00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:34,059 You're disgusting, Beavis. 885 00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:36,661 Your trip to Woodson Street, Highland 886 00:41:36,728 --> 00:41:38,963 will take 274 hours. 887 00:41:39,030 --> 00:41:41,967 Whoa, she's counting the hours. 888 00:41:42,032 --> 00:41:44,936 Let's get moving, Beavis. 889 00:41:47,972 --> 00:41:50,675 Sir, we've got a lock on the phone again. 890 00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:54,746 - Change course to intercept. - We won't lose them this time. 891 00:41:56,581 --> 00:41:59,516 What is this? Is this college or something? 892 00:41:59,585 --> 00:42:01,085 It could be. 893 00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:03,521 Something sucks. - Oh, boy. Heh heh. 894 00:42:03,588 --> 00:42:06,557 Let's get out of here before we learn something, Butt-Head. 895 00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:09,193 Yeah, really. 896 00:42:11,028 --> 00:42:13,297 Beavis, Butt-Head, it is we. 897 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:15,567 We have made the quest easier. 898 00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:17,467 We have moved the portal. 899 00:42:17,534 --> 00:42:19,737 Mount Everest seemed like a good idea at the time 900 00:42:19,804 --> 00:42:23,875 for its proximity to space, but the trip was a long-y. 901 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:26,311 Are you those guys that are like us 902 00:42:26,376 --> 00:42:27,579 or something? 903 00:42:27,646 --> 00:42:29,447 We've covered this already. 904 00:42:29,514 --> 00:42:32,983 The portal is now over there behind the Classics building. 905 00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:34,952 It is well hidden there because no one 906 00:42:35,019 --> 00:42:37,121 cares about the humanities anymore. 907 00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:39,324 They want jobs that will allow them to pay off 908 00:42:39,389 --> 00:42:40,925 their student debt. 909 00:42:40,992 --> 00:42:42,402 - Amusing, yes. - Yes, humorous, yes. 910 00:42:42,427 --> 00:42:43,728 Satirical comment on the times. 911 00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:44,896 Yes, amusing. 912 00:42:44,963 --> 00:42:47,197 Seek the portal before all is destroyed. 913 00:42:47,264 --> 00:42:49,233 The lives of billions depend on it. 914 00:42:49,300 --> 00:42:51,936 Hurry, you haven't but much time. 915 00:42:52,003 --> 00:42:54,706 He said butt munch. 916 00:42:56,675 --> 00:42:58,376 I did not. 917 00:42:58,443 --> 00:43:00,144 But I can see how it would it be quite 918 00:43:00,210 --> 00:43:02,380 humorous if I had... - Yes, yes humorous. 919 00:43:02,447 --> 00:43:04,414 Yes, yes, they do sound similar. 920 00:43:04,481 --> 00:43:06,384 Amusing and incongruous. 921 00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:09,820 Uh, I like those guys. 922 00:43:09,887 --> 00:43:12,389 How'd they disappear, though? 923 00:43:12,456 --> 00:43:13,992 Uh, who cares? 924 00:43:14,059 --> 00:43:16,360 Magic sucks. 925 00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:20,030 Are you sure about this? 926 00:43:20,097 --> 00:43:22,032 Feels a little bit like a wild goose chase. 927 00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:24,202 Listen, one of our dipshit college 928 00:43:24,268 --> 00:43:26,536 campaign volunteers had some crazy story about how she 929 00:43:26,603 --> 00:43:28,539 saw two teenagers coming out of the same 930 00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:30,041 Porta Potty laughing at nothing, 931 00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:32,152 and one of them was covered in feces and nacho cheese. 932 00:43:32,177 --> 00:43:33,644 Who else could it be? 933 00:43:33,711 --> 00:43:34,856 Well, when I was in college, 934 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,648 I did some pretty crazy... 935 00:43:36,715 --> 00:43:38,382 Here's the deal. 936 00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:41,119 If I don't kill those guys, I'm going to be accused of murder. 937 00:43:41,186 --> 00:43:43,088 And if I'm gonna be accused of murder, 938 00:43:43,153 --> 00:43:45,023 I might as well kill those guys. 939 00:43:45,090 --> 00:43:47,525 So we're going to find them. - Mm-hmm. 940 00:43:48,827 --> 00:43:52,163 Let's take a shortcut through this thing. 941 00:43:52,230 --> 00:43:55,432 While exaggerating gender norms sometimes winds up 942 00:43:55,500 --> 00:43:58,503 subverting existing paradigms... 943 00:43:58,568 --> 00:44:00,070 Don't mind us. 944 00:44:00,137 --> 00:44:02,239 We just need to get through here so we can score. 945 00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:05,376 Yeah. There's a slut at our house who's gonna like 946 00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:06,610 do it with us. 947 00:44:06,677 --> 00:44:09,213 Any of you ladies want to join the party? 948 00:44:12,282 --> 00:44:14,885 Hang on, everyone. Hang on. 949 00:44:14,952 --> 00:44:16,922 This is teachable, okay? 950 00:44:16,987 --> 00:44:18,523 Now, they use the word "slut" 951 00:44:18,588 --> 00:44:21,458 in a sex positive way, which is a good thing. 952 00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:24,628 But other than that, these two are a reminder 953 00:44:24,695 --> 00:44:28,233 that we still have a long, hard road ahead of us. 954 00:44:28,298 --> 00:44:30,601 Long, hard. 955 00:44:32,237 --> 00:44:34,605 Yeah, like a wiener, or a schlong. 956 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,940 You know, get it? 957 00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:37,574 Uh-huh. 958 00:44:37,641 --> 00:44:40,378 Why don't we start by having you two tell us what you thought 959 00:44:40,445 --> 00:44:43,014 of the reading assignments for today? 960 00:44:43,081 --> 00:44:45,650 Uh, we don't really read stuff. 961 00:44:45,717 --> 00:44:48,286 Of course not, because you don't need to. 962 00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:50,588 Because Daddy's connections got you into college 963 00:44:50,655 --> 00:44:52,923 and will get you a job on Wall Street. 964 00:44:52,990 --> 00:44:55,126 Uh, wait a minute. 965 00:44:55,193 --> 00:44:57,594 Do you know who my dad is? 966 00:44:57,661 --> 00:45:00,431 I'm sure he's very powerful and can have me fired. 967 00:45:00,498 --> 00:45:02,000 But I don't care. 968 00:45:02,067 --> 00:45:05,036 Cool. My dad's powerful. 969 00:45:05,103 --> 00:45:06,503 Oh, that's cool. Yeah. 970 00:45:06,570 --> 00:45:08,639 Because Butt-Head's mom said he died of syphilis. 971 00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:10,041 Wow. 972 00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:13,177 This is a classic example of white privilege. 973 00:45:13,244 --> 00:45:15,045 And you both have it. 974 00:45:15,112 --> 00:45:17,983 Uh, what's that? 975 00:45:18,048 --> 00:45:19,751 Anyone want to fill them in? 976 00:45:19,818 --> 00:45:21,219 Yeah, I'll do it. 977 00:45:21,286 --> 00:45:23,221 Okay. So, white privilege 978 00:45:23,288 --> 00:45:24,822 is when white people, particularly men, 979 00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:27,492 automatically assume they can take whatever they want. 980 00:45:27,557 --> 00:45:29,059 And they never have to worry about 981 00:45:29,126 --> 00:45:30,561 getting stopped by the police. 982 00:45:30,628 --> 00:45:33,164 And they have the inside track for any job they... 983 00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:34,565 I've got this one, Aisha. 984 00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:38,369 They have the inside track for any job they want. 985 00:45:38,436 --> 00:45:40,838 Exactly, Gage, thank you for that. 986 00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:43,608 That's white privilege. 987 00:45:43,673 --> 00:45:45,811 Whoa, and we have that? 988 00:45:45,876 --> 00:45:47,244 You sure do. 989 00:45:47,311 --> 00:45:49,347 - I see. - Whoa. 990 00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:51,248 I never realized this stuff. 991 00:45:51,315 --> 00:45:54,318 Yeah, you've really opened up my eyes. 992 00:45:54,385 --> 00:45:56,788 Well, I'm glad we've been able to enlighten you. 993 00:45:56,855 --> 00:45:59,489 The real question is, do you think you'll 994 00:45:59,556 --> 00:46:03,427 be acting differently from now on? 995 00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:06,030 - I guarantee it. - Yeah, me too. 996 00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:08,298 Step aside, please. 997 00:46:08,365 --> 00:46:09,733 We have white privilege. 998 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,137 Yeah, yeah, check it out. 999 00:46:14,072 --> 00:46:15,672 Don't worry, it's okay. 1000 00:46:15,739 --> 00:46:18,309 We automatically assume we can take what we want 1001 00:46:18,376 --> 00:46:21,179 and we don't have to worry about the police. 1002 00:46:21,246 --> 00:46:23,681 It's okay, you didn't know. We didn't either. 1003 00:46:23,748 --> 00:46:26,050 Good stuff. 1004 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,485 This is what we were taught, sir. 1005 00:46:28,552 --> 00:46:31,456 We're subverting the existing paradigm. 1006 00:46:36,126 --> 00:46:37,963 This rules. 1007 00:46:39,831 --> 00:46:42,900 I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad we went to college. 1008 00:46:42,967 --> 00:46:46,371 Now I have the skills for today's workplace. 1009 00:46:47,637 --> 00:46:50,340 Well, let's see. What should we take next? 1010 00:46:50,407 --> 00:46:53,110 Let's take that car. 1011 00:46:53,177 --> 00:46:55,512 But that's a police car. 1012 00:46:55,579 --> 00:46:57,916 Beavis, you dumbass. Didn't you hear? 1013 00:46:57,983 --> 00:47:00,451 We don't have to worry about getting stopped by the police. 1014 00:47:00,518 --> 00:47:02,052 Oh, yeah. 1015 00:47:02,119 --> 00:47:05,222 Okay, Beavis, let's tear ass. 1016 00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:11,896 That was cool. 1017 00:47:11,963 --> 00:47:13,597 Don't move! 1018 00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:15,800 Uh, sir, maybe you didn't know, 1019 00:47:15,867 --> 00:47:17,434 but we have white privilege. 1020 00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:19,403 Get your hands where I can see them. 1021 00:47:19,469 --> 00:47:22,373 I think the problem is you're just uneducated. 1022 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,775 Yeah, we're gonna get jobs on Wall Street. 1023 00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:26,476 You guys know where that is? 1024 00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:28,778 Cut it out! Our dads are powerful. 1025 00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,280 They did not die of syphilis. 1026 00:47:30,347 --> 00:47:33,018 Hey, Beavis was driving. 1027 00:47:34,985 --> 00:47:36,286 We're in jail, Beavis. 1028 00:47:36,353 --> 00:47:38,523 This kicks ass. 1029 00:47:38,588 --> 00:47:40,791 Yeah, that youth pastor always said 1030 00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:43,094 we'd be here someday. 1031 00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:44,362 We finally made it. 1032 00:47:44,429 --> 00:47:48,065 The system works, Beavis. 1033 00:47:48,132 --> 00:47:50,400 So, uh, sir? 1034 00:47:50,467 --> 00:47:52,269 How long do we have to stay here? 1035 00:47:52,336 --> 00:47:54,871 Like an hour? 1036 00:47:54,940 --> 00:47:57,574 We're on our way to go score. 1037 00:47:57,641 --> 00:47:59,085 Well, you got no one to bail you out, 1038 00:47:59,110 --> 00:48:00,853 so you'll be here until your arraignment in a month. 1039 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,447 I'll come get you then. 1040 00:48:02,512 --> 00:48:05,150 - What... What? A month? - That sucks. 1041 00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:06,985 No, no! 1042 00:48:07,052 --> 00:48:10,121 Nooo! 1043 00:48:12,356 --> 00:48:14,224 They ditched the phone. 1044 00:48:14,291 --> 00:48:16,760 They could be anywhere. 1045 00:48:16,827 --> 00:48:18,862 This is their work. 1046 00:48:20,797 --> 00:48:22,699 They're toying with us. 1047 00:48:24,501 --> 00:48:27,505 It's the Feds. They're on this too. 1048 00:48:27,572 --> 00:48:30,708 How much do they know about the murders I committed? 1049 00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:32,409 Oh... attempted. 1050 00:48:32,476 --> 00:48:34,211 In... in a video game. 1051 00:48:34,278 --> 00:48:36,547 Yeah, I... I wasn't there. 1052 00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:43,253 Ugh this sucks. 1053 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,056 Damn it. 1054 00:48:45,123 --> 00:48:46,266 Serena's gonna be at our house, 1055 00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:47,657 and we're not gonna be there. 1056 00:48:47,724 --> 00:48:49,760 She's gonna think I don't care. 1057 00:48:49,827 --> 00:48:52,297 Heh heh heh. You care. 1058 00:48:52,362 --> 00:48:54,164 I do care. 1059 00:48:54,231 --> 00:48:56,467 Sometimes, I think about her, 1060 00:48:56,534 --> 00:48:59,003 and I don't even get a boner but I feel good anyway. 1061 00:48:59,070 --> 00:49:01,472 Damn it, Beavis, shut up. You're embarrassing me. 1062 00:49:01,539 --> 00:49:03,773 If you don't get a boner when you think about her, 1063 00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,510 then you don't know what love is. 1064 00:49:07,811 --> 00:49:10,681 McCabe. Inspection now. 1065 00:49:10,748 --> 00:49:12,016 Shit. 1066 00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:14,518 Okay, listen up, kid. You're gonna help me out. 1067 00:49:14,585 --> 00:49:15,920 I can't let them find these on me. 1068 00:49:15,987 --> 00:49:17,722 So you're going to take 'em. 1069 00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,889 Whoa, heh. 1070 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,233 You want me to take all of those? 1071 00:49:20,257 --> 00:49:22,126 Yes moron, take them now. 1072 00:49:22,193 --> 00:49:24,594 Okay okay. 1073 00:49:24,661 --> 00:49:28,166 Tastes weird. Kinda salty. 1074 00:49:28,233 --> 00:49:29,733 Hey, don't eat em! 1075 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,702 Hide 'em in your pants. - Shut up! 1076 00:49:31,768 --> 00:49:33,771 McCabe! 1077 00:49:37,842 --> 00:49:39,244 Heh heh heh heh. 1078 00:49:39,309 --> 00:49:41,146 This is gonna be cool. 1079 00:49:44,849 --> 00:49:46,451 Maybe you ought to check on that kid. 1080 00:49:46,516 --> 00:49:48,885 You better shut up, McCabe. 1081 00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,563 Which one of you guys does tattoos? 1082 00:49:58,628 --> 00:50:00,630 Hey, you better tell your friend to chill, man. 1083 00:50:00,697 --> 00:50:02,599 Yeah, he's not really my friend. 1084 00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:05,001 He just, like, follows me around all the time. 1085 00:50:06,371 --> 00:50:08,405 I think I want to get a tattoo of a butt 1086 00:50:08,472 --> 00:50:10,574 right here on my forehead. Heh heh heh. 1087 00:50:13,043 --> 00:50:16,313 I am Cornholio! 1088 00:50:16,380 --> 00:50:18,148 I need TP for my bunghole! 1089 00:50:20,217 --> 00:50:21,652 Do not make my bunghole angry. 1090 00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,054 I demand TP! - Hmm? 1091 00:50:23,121 --> 00:50:24,322 Give me all your TP! 1092 00:50:24,389 --> 00:50:27,257 All your TP now! 1093 00:50:27,324 --> 00:50:28,893 Quit disrespecting me! 1094 00:50:28,958 --> 00:50:30,427 I will find your TP. 1095 00:50:30,494 --> 00:50:31,929 I seek TP. 1096 00:50:34,231 --> 00:50:35,900 Do not disrespect my bunghole. 1097 00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:46,976 I am Cornholio! 1098 00:50:47,043 --> 00:50:48,378 I need TP for my bunghole. 1099 00:50:48,445 --> 00:50:52,016 Heh-heh-heh. 1100 00:50:55,420 --> 00:50:57,054 I demand TP, I demand TP! 1101 00:50:57,121 --> 00:50:59,023 More TP! 1102 00:50:59,090 --> 00:51:02,360 Little dude's right, we do need more TP. 1103 00:51:02,427 --> 00:51:03,994 More TP, more TP! 1104 00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,096 I demand TP! 1105 00:51:05,163 --> 00:51:06,697 Yeah, we want more TP. 1106 00:51:06,764 --> 00:51:08,199 They never give us enough. 1107 00:51:08,266 --> 00:51:10,201 You will not disrespect my bunghole! 1108 00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:12,836 Yeah, they're disrespecting us. 1109 00:51:12,902 --> 00:51:14,871 They're disrespecting our bungholes. 1110 00:51:18,309 --> 00:51:20,744 We demand TP! 1111 00:51:20,811 --> 00:51:23,481 That little guy's right about the toilet paper. 1112 00:51:23,547 --> 00:51:25,315 No man can see his own bunghole. 1113 00:51:25,382 --> 00:51:27,518 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1114 00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:30,221 One butt cheek here, and then one here. 1115 00:51:30,288 --> 00:51:31,422 Heh-heh. 1116 00:51:31,489 --> 00:51:32,599 Look, are you sure you don't want 1117 00:51:32,623 --> 00:51:34,592 a pair of dice or something? 1118 00:51:34,659 --> 00:51:36,293 Dice? Heh-heh-heh. 1119 00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,929 This is gonna be on my head for the rest of my life, dumbass. 1120 00:51:39,996 --> 00:51:41,266 TP! TP! 1121 00:51:41,331 --> 00:51:44,268 You cannot imprison the almighty bunghole! 1122 00:51:44,335 --> 00:51:45,969 And now, you must pay! 1123 00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:47,304 Hm-heh-heh. 1124 00:51:47,371 --> 00:51:49,173 What the hell? 1125 00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:50,574 I don't get it, sir. 1126 00:51:50,641 --> 00:51:53,177 It started out as a simple request for toilet paper, 1127 00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:55,146 but now it's out of control. 1128 00:51:55,213 --> 00:51:58,682 You have nothing to lose but your bunghole! 1129 00:51:58,748 --> 00:52:00,418 Prepare the extraction team. 1130 00:52:00,485 --> 00:52:02,253 Who is this guy? 1131 00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,753 Antifa? 1132 00:52:03,820 --> 00:52:05,054 MS-13? 1133 00:52:05,121 --> 00:52:07,391 We ran him and his associate's fingerprints, 1134 00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,994 and it came back that they died in 1998. 1135 00:52:11,061 --> 00:52:12,297 What the hell? 1136 00:52:20,905 --> 00:52:24,375 No man is free while one bunghole is in chains! 1137 00:52:24,442 --> 00:52:27,177 They died in '98? 1138 00:52:27,244 --> 00:52:30,748 We're dealing with something here that's beyond explanation. 1139 00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:34,150 Have you ever seen a show called "Touched by an Angel"? 1140 00:52:34,219 --> 00:52:35,552 No. 1141 00:52:35,619 --> 00:52:38,322 They always come with a message. 1142 00:52:38,389 --> 00:52:40,023 What could his be? 1143 00:52:40,090 --> 00:52:41,492 I am Cornholio! 1144 00:52:41,559 --> 00:52:43,228 I need TP for my bunghole! 1145 00:52:43,293 --> 00:52:46,563 TP! TP! TP! 1146 00:52:46,630 --> 00:52:49,800 Stand by to take down Cornholio. 1147 00:52:49,867 --> 00:52:52,302 Have you seen my bunghole? Heh-heh. 1148 00:52:52,369 --> 00:52:55,940 When I open this door, unleash hell. 1149 00:52:58,409 --> 00:53:00,744 Stand down. 1150 00:53:00,811 --> 00:53:03,248 This has turned into something bigger. 1151 00:53:03,313 --> 00:53:06,851 Cornholio's their hero. 1152 00:53:06,916 --> 00:53:11,021 He did the most dangerous thing you can do in this place. 1153 00:53:11,088 --> 00:53:13,623 He gave those men hope. 1154 00:53:13,690 --> 00:53:16,193 And there's a funny thing about hope. 1155 00:53:16,260 --> 00:53:18,362 It's contagious. 1156 00:53:18,429 --> 00:53:20,898 And these days, well, 1157 00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:24,469 I think we need all the hope we can get. 1158 00:53:24,534 --> 00:53:26,804 I hope you can see my bunghole. 1159 00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:28,572 So what are we supposed to do? 1160 00:53:28,639 --> 00:53:31,608 The only thing we can do. 1161 00:53:31,675 --> 00:53:36,079 Give those prisoners all the toilet paper we got. 1162 00:53:36,146 --> 00:53:37,914 And then we're going to put those two boys 1163 00:53:37,981 --> 00:53:40,284 on a bus back to where they came from. 1164 00:53:40,351 --> 00:53:41,918 Destroy their records. 1165 00:53:41,985 --> 00:53:46,123 And as far as I'm concerned, they were never here. 1166 00:53:46,190 --> 00:53:47,958 And with God's help, 1167 00:53:48,025 --> 00:53:51,396 we will learn from Cornholio's message today, 1168 00:53:51,461 --> 00:53:53,563 and we will become better men. 1169 00:53:55,632 --> 00:53:57,735 I have but one bunghole to give. 1170 00:53:57,802 --> 00:54:00,505 Heh-heh-heh, and I give it to you. 1171 00:54:25,862 --> 00:54:27,565 National security? 1172 00:54:27,632 --> 00:54:29,800 Well, that sounds important. 1173 00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:32,235 But those two boys were never here. 1174 00:54:32,302 --> 00:54:36,940 Nope, no record of them at this facility. 1175 00:54:37,007 --> 00:54:40,043 No jail is going to hold those two for long. 1176 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,612 And apparently they have the ability 1177 00:54:41,679 --> 00:54:45,248 to wipe people's memories. 1178 00:54:45,315 --> 00:54:49,085 And to that end, I'm here to surprise pardon two criminals 1179 00:54:49,152 --> 00:54:53,324 as part of my new "Soft on Crime" initiative. 1180 00:54:53,391 --> 00:54:55,492 And I'll just take them back 1181 00:54:55,559 --> 00:54:57,961 to the Capitol with me in my car. 1182 00:54:58,027 --> 00:54:59,730 We heard about two youngsters arrested 1183 00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:03,300 over at TSU for some minor offenses. 1184 00:55:04,068 --> 00:55:07,605 No, no one fitting that description was ever here. 1185 00:55:07,672 --> 00:55:09,273 Really? 1186 00:55:09,340 --> 00:55:11,576 Are... are you sure about that? 1187 00:55:11,641 --> 00:55:13,242 Absolutely. 1188 00:55:13,309 --> 00:55:17,014 So, who do you want to surprise pardon? 1189 00:55:17,081 --> 00:55:18,583 Uh... 1190 00:55:21,619 --> 00:55:25,054 Ma'am, we just want to say thank you for pardoning us. 1191 00:55:25,121 --> 00:55:26,856 We appreciate... - Shut up. 1192 00:55:26,923 --> 00:55:29,460 Where the hell are Beavis and Butt-Head? 1193 00:55:29,527 --> 00:55:31,027 Oh, those guys? 1194 00:55:31,094 --> 00:55:33,530 Oh, the warden put them on a bus back to their hometown. 1195 00:55:33,597 --> 00:55:35,932 Highland Texas, I think it was. 1196 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:36,766 Oh. 1197 00:55:36,833 --> 00:55:38,869 Highland Texas. 1198 00:55:38,936 --> 00:55:41,806 Finally a stroke of good luck. 1199 00:55:41,871 --> 00:55:44,307 Whoo-hoo! 1200 00:55:44,375 --> 00:55:46,677 Thank you, Governor! 1201 00:55:50,514 --> 00:55:54,150 You know, I guess the lesson to learn from this is, 1202 00:55:54,217 --> 00:55:56,786 you probably should have pardoned someone smaller, 1203 00:55:56,853 --> 00:55:59,389 because... - God damn it! 1204 00:56:08,833 --> 00:56:10,668 Heh heh heh. 1205 00:56:10,735 --> 00:56:12,045 We're almost there, right, Butt-Head? 1206 00:56:12,068 --> 00:56:13,170 Heh heh heh. 1207 00:56:13,237 --> 00:56:14,704 We sure are, Beavis. 1208 00:56:14,771 --> 00:56:16,072 It's been a long journey. 1209 00:56:16,139 --> 00:56:18,041 Heh-heh. 1210 00:56:18,108 --> 00:56:21,311 - Um, Butt-Head? - Uh, yeah? 1211 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:23,289 What do you think's gonna happen when we score? 1212 00:56:23,313 --> 00:56:24,648 Heh-heh-heh. 1213 00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:27,016 Beavis, everything is gonna be different. 1214 00:56:27,083 --> 00:56:28,518 Heh-heh. 1215 00:56:28,585 --> 00:56:29,820 Just imagine it. 1216 00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:33,458 Heh-heh, heh-heh. 1217 00:56:35,826 --> 00:56:37,427 - Beavis. - Huh? 1218 00:56:37,494 --> 00:56:38,996 You just scored with me. 1219 00:56:39,063 --> 00:56:40,597 I did? 1220 00:56:40,664 --> 00:56:42,532 Yes, and now I'm your girlfriend. 1221 00:56:42,599 --> 00:56:43,733 Yes! 1222 00:56:46,036 --> 00:56:47,403 Whoo! 1223 00:56:47,472 --> 00:56:48,806 Check it out. 1224 00:56:48,873 --> 00:56:51,175 Heh-heh, yeah! 1225 00:56:51,240 --> 00:56:52,677 Oh! - Whoa! 1226 00:56:52,742 --> 00:56:55,512 You're right, Beavis, fire is cool. 1227 00:56:55,579 --> 00:56:57,280 Ow! 1228 00:56:57,347 --> 00:56:58,849 I'm gonna tear your head off and... 1229 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:01,485 No, you're not! 1230 00:57:01,552 --> 00:57:02,952 I'm his girlfriend. 1231 00:57:03,019 --> 00:57:04,822 Hi-yah! - Yes! 1232 00:57:04,889 --> 00:57:06,456 Yes, yes, yes! 1233 00:57:06,523 --> 00:57:08,726 Yes! 1234 00:57:08,793 --> 00:57:10,393 Hah! 1235 00:57:10,460 --> 00:57:11,695 Ah... 1236 00:57:21,105 --> 00:57:25,610 Beavis, from now on, it's just gonna be you and me. 1237 00:57:25,675 --> 00:57:26,677 And Butt-Head. 1238 00:57:26,744 --> 00:57:29,313 Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1239 00:57:29,378 --> 00:57:30,914 I'm a deer. 1240 00:57:30,981 --> 00:57:32,849 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Heh. 1241 00:57:32,916 --> 00:57:34,652 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1242 00:57:42,391 --> 00:57:43,860 Hey Butt-Head, I heard 1243 00:57:43,927 --> 00:57:45,862 you put your thingy in a girl's thingy. 1244 00:57:45,929 --> 00:57:47,731 I sure did, heh-heh. 1245 00:57:47,797 --> 00:57:48,733 Did it hurt? 1246 00:57:48,798 --> 00:57:50,835 Nope, heh-heh. 1247 00:57:50,900 --> 00:57:52,436 And I was never worried that it would. 1248 00:57:52,503 --> 00:57:53,603 Heh-heh. 1249 00:57:53,670 --> 00:57:55,039 Wood. 1250 00:57:55,105 --> 00:57:58,275 Oh, Butt-Head, would you please score with us? 1251 00:57:58,342 --> 00:58:00,443 And every other girl you know? 1252 00:58:01,579 --> 00:58:02,579 Indeed. 1253 00:58:02,612 --> 00:58:04,380 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1254 00:58:04,447 --> 00:58:05,782 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1255 00:58:05,849 --> 00:58:07,684 Heh-heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1256 00:58:07,751 --> 00:58:09,619 Highland, end of the line. 1257 00:58:12,690 --> 00:58:13,824 Beavis. 1258 00:58:13,891 --> 00:58:16,159 Beavis, wake up. We made it. 1259 00:58:16,226 --> 00:58:17,628 - Yeah, yeah, heh. - Heh-heh. 1260 00:58:17,695 --> 00:58:19,864 Yeah, we're gonna score, yeah. 1261 00:58:19,929 --> 00:58:21,965 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - This is gonna be cool. 1262 00:58:22,032 --> 00:58:24,434 Heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1263 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:25,835 Uh, Serena? 1264 00:58:25,902 --> 00:58:28,105 Heh-heh. - Serena? 1265 00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:30,840 Um, Butt-Head, what are all these people 1266 00:58:30,907 --> 00:58:32,141 doing in our house? 1267 00:58:32,208 --> 00:58:34,612 Uh, are we having a party or something? 1268 00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:36,012 Better not be. 1269 00:58:36,079 --> 00:58:38,181 We have to have sex in here. - Heh-heh-heh. 1270 00:58:38,248 --> 00:58:41,085 Welcome, Anita Ross, Castle Realty. 1271 00:58:41,150 --> 00:58:42,485 Are you interested in the home? 1272 00:58:42,552 --> 00:58:44,755 Uh, this is our house. 1273 00:58:44,822 --> 00:58:46,690 Oh, yeah, I fell in love with it too. 1274 00:58:46,757 --> 00:58:48,092 Let me give you the tour. 1275 00:58:48,157 --> 00:58:50,960 Uh, what did you do to our house? 1276 00:58:51,027 --> 00:58:52,938 Well, the current owner bought the property to flip. 1277 00:58:52,963 --> 00:58:54,898 Complete renovation. 1278 00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:56,934 Yeah, this sucks, hm-hm-heh. 1279 00:58:57,001 --> 00:58:59,268 The house was empty for a long time. 1280 00:58:59,335 --> 00:59:01,304 Because it belonged to the mother of one of these 1281 00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:05,041 two teenagers who died in this accident on the space shuttle. 1282 00:59:05,108 --> 00:59:06,577 Shirley Beavis. 1283 00:59:06,643 --> 00:59:07,878 Yeah, yeah, yeah, heh. 1284 00:59:07,945 --> 00:59:09,813 Whoa, Butt-Head, look, a garbage disposal. 1285 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,648 - Yeah, heh, kick ass. - Cool. 1286 00:59:11,715 --> 00:59:12,916 Yeah, it's all brand-new. 1287 00:59:12,983 --> 00:59:14,952 Anyway, you won't believe what happened 1288 00:59:15,018 --> 00:59:17,454 to Shirley Beavis when her son died in space. 1289 00:59:17,521 --> 00:59:19,789 She went totally... 1290 00:59:24,762 --> 00:59:26,362 And then, after she blew 1291 00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:28,235 through the settlement money, she did something 1292 00:59:28,297 --> 00:59:29,909 you wouldn't believe. - Something bigger, yeah. 1293 00:59:29,934 --> 00:59:31,735 She took... 1294 00:59:36,239 --> 00:59:38,041 Bittersweet thing she said is, 1295 00:59:38,108 --> 00:59:40,710 if she could just see her son one more time, 1296 00:59:40,777 --> 00:59:43,547 she would tell him these words: 1297 00:59:43,614 --> 00:59:45,282 "Son,"... 1298 00:59:45,349 --> 00:59:48,217 Yeah, grind it, yeah! 1299 00:59:50,655 --> 00:59:52,121 That kicks ass. 1300 00:59:52,188 --> 00:59:53,958 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Ow, heh-heh, yeah. 1301 00:59:54,023 --> 00:59:56,092 Yeah, yeah, cool, heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1302 00:59:56,159 --> 00:59:58,228 So, um, so where's Serena? 1303 00:59:58,295 --> 01:00:00,664 - Who? - Serena, yeah, heh. 1304 01:00:00,731 --> 01:00:02,733 Siri for short. - Siri? 1305 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:04,134 Is she in the bedroom already? 1306 01:00:04,201 --> 01:00:05,702 I mean if there's like, a line, 1307 01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:08,105 that's cool and everything, but, uh, we were led 1308 01:00:08,172 --> 01:00:10,074 to believe we would get first dibs. 1309 01:00:10,139 --> 01:00:11,541 Shut up, Butt-Head, come on. 1310 01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:14,043 There's no smart home system, if that's what you mean. 1311 01:00:14,110 --> 01:00:16,012 There's no Siri here. 1312 01:00:16,079 --> 01:00:17,581 She's not here? 1313 01:00:17,648 --> 01:00:20,384 But... but she said... she said she'd be here. 1314 01:00:20,449 --> 01:00:22,619 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1315 01:00:22,686 --> 01:00:24,420 She's never lied to us before. 1316 01:00:26,523 --> 01:00:28,025 What happened, Butt-Head? 1317 01:00:28,092 --> 01:00:29,693 She promised she was gonna be here. 1318 01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:31,094 And now she's not. 1319 01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:32,963 I thought we had something. 1320 01:00:33,030 --> 01:00:34,530 Where is she? - Damn it, Beavis, 1321 01:00:34,597 --> 01:00:36,099 how am I supposed to know? 1322 01:00:36,166 --> 01:00:38,534 Uh, where's the remote? 1323 01:00:38,601 --> 01:00:40,436 Heh-heh. 1324 01:00:40,503 --> 01:00:42,840 What are these things? 1325 01:00:42,907 --> 01:00:44,041 - Ahh! - Ugh! 1326 01:00:45,242 --> 01:00:46,744 What the hell is that? 1327 01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:49,179 Yeah, where's the TV? 1328 01:00:49,246 --> 01:00:51,949 Uh, they're books. 1329 01:00:52,016 --> 01:00:53,617 - What? - Heh-heh. 1330 01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:54,617 Books? 1331 01:00:54,684 --> 01:00:55,619 Books? 1332 01:00:55,686 --> 01:00:57,086 No, heh, no! 1333 01:00:57,153 --> 01:00:58,454 We were supposed to score! 1334 01:00:58,521 --> 01:01:00,456 It was gonna be the best thing in the world. 1335 01:01:00,523 --> 01:01:02,592 And instead, all we get is books! 1336 01:01:02,659 --> 01:01:04,594 The worst thing in the world. 1337 01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:06,096 I'm tired of this crap. 1338 01:01:06,163 --> 01:01:07,431 It's not fair. 1339 01:01:07,496 --> 01:01:09,498 Damn it, Beavis, this is all your fault. 1340 01:01:09,565 --> 01:01:11,802 I would have scored if you hadn't scared her off 1341 01:01:11,869 --> 01:01:14,070 with all your wuss feelings talk. 1342 01:01:14,137 --> 01:01:15,940 "Oh, Serena, oh, I don't have a boner." 1343 01:01:16,005 --> 01:01:17,141 Bleugh! 1344 01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:18,141 Shut up, Butt-Head. 1345 01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:19,342 I don't sound like that. 1346 01:01:19,409 --> 01:01:21,077 You're the one who scared her off. 1347 01:01:21,144 --> 01:01:23,047 You're always calling her a slut. 1348 01:01:23,112 --> 01:01:25,014 That's because she is a slut, Beavis. 1349 01:01:26,483 --> 01:01:27,952 She's an S-L, 1350 01:01:28,018 --> 01:01:31,188 uh, O or something slut. 1351 01:01:31,255 --> 01:01:33,157 She told us herself, remember? 1352 01:01:33,222 --> 01:01:37,728 256 men, 49 women, a dog, 1353 01:01:37,795 --> 01:01:40,463 a chimpanzee with a wiener the size of a... 1354 01:01:40,530 --> 01:01:41,530 Ugh! 1355 01:01:44,934 --> 01:01:48,005 Beavis, you've just crossed a line. 1356 01:01:48,072 --> 01:01:51,175 And I think we both know what needs to happen now. 1357 01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:52,675 Ah! Butthole! 1358 01:01:52,742 --> 01:01:54,344 Heh-heh. 1359 01:01:54,411 --> 01:01:55,655 Butt-Head, I'm gonna kill you, 1360 01:01:55,679 --> 01:01:56,746 you son of a bitch! 1361 01:01:56,813 --> 01:01:59,016 Oh, my. 1362 01:01:59,083 --> 01:02:01,251 I know this can be an emotional decision 1363 01:02:01,318 --> 01:02:02,728 for a couple, but... - Beavis, you son of a whore. 1364 01:02:02,753 --> 01:02:04,597 Yeah, all right, here we go, here we go, let's just... 1365 01:02:04,621 --> 01:02:06,389 Yeah, let's just move this party outside. 1366 01:02:06,456 --> 01:02:07,992 Get your hands off me, bunghole! 1367 01:02:08,057 --> 01:02:10,036 Okay, just go, go, go, go, go, good, good, good, good. 1368 01:02:11,762 --> 01:02:14,864 My email's on the flyer. 1369 01:02:14,931 --> 01:02:16,166 Damn it, Butt-Head. 1370 01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,001 I finally found someone, and you're jealous! 1371 01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:21,670 "I have feelings, Serena, wuh-heh-heh, let's hold hands. 1372 01:02:21,737 --> 01:02:23,507 "Wuh-heh-heh." - Shut up, Butt-Head! 1373 01:02:23,572 --> 01:02:25,041 You're the one who drove her away. 1374 01:02:25,108 --> 01:02:26,610 She said she doesn't understand you, 1375 01:02:26,675 --> 01:02:29,780 and we talked about spider webs and you ruined everything. 1376 01:02:29,847 --> 01:02:31,487 Damn it, Beavis, Serena never liked you, 1377 01:02:31,514 --> 01:02:33,483 she was just talking to you to get to me. 1378 01:02:33,550 --> 01:02:36,286 I'm tired of you weighing me down. 1379 01:02:36,353 --> 01:02:38,688 I'm gonna get out of here, and don't follow me. 1380 01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:39,755 Heh-heh-heh. 1381 01:02:39,789 --> 01:02:41,557 Well, don't follow me. 1382 01:02:41,625 --> 01:02:43,393 Butthole! Hehe. 1383 01:02:52,402 --> 01:02:54,905 ♪ I could hardly believe it ♪ 1384 01:02:54,972 --> 01:02:58,275 ♪ When I heard the news today ♪ 1385 01:02:58,342 --> 01:03:00,911 ♪ I had to come and get it ♪ 1386 01:03:00,978 --> 01:03:06,016 ♪ Straight from you ♪ 1387 01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:08,452 ♪ They said you were leaving ♪ 1388 01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,519 ♪ Someone swept your heart away ♪ 1389 01:03:12,155 --> 01:03:14,391 ♪ From the look upon your face ♪ 1390 01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:18,896 ♪ I see it's true ♪ 1391 01:03:18,963 --> 01:03:21,130 ♪ So tell me all about it ♪ - Shut up, dumbass. 1392 01:03:21,197 --> 01:03:22,967 ♪ Tell about the plans you're making ♪ 1393 01:03:26,070 --> 01:03:31,976 ♪ Tell me one thing more before I go ♪ 1394 01:03:32,041 --> 01:03:37,181 ♪ Tell my how am I supposed to live without you ♪ 1395 01:03:37,246 --> 01:03:40,617 Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. 1396 01:03:40,684 --> 01:03:42,052 Hey, Beavis, check... 1397 01:03:42,119 --> 01:03:43,820 Uh, oh. 1398 01:03:45,121 --> 01:03:46,891 Let go of me, butthole. 1399 01:03:48,724 --> 01:03:50,293 Hey, hey, what are you... ah, 1400 01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:51,561 hey, what are you doing? 1401 01:03:55,264 --> 01:03:57,434 Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1402 01:03:57,501 --> 01:04:00,070 Are you here because you hate the United States? 1403 01:04:00,137 --> 01:04:03,340 Um, heh, the United States? 1404 01:04:03,407 --> 01:04:07,277 Is that, like, part of America or something? 1405 01:04:07,344 --> 01:04:08,913 It's hard to believe this species 1406 01:04:08,978 --> 01:04:10,480 mastered interstellar travel. 1407 01:04:10,547 --> 01:04:13,382 Perhaps the two beings share one brain. 1408 01:04:13,449 --> 01:04:16,353 Apart, they're barely able to feed themselves. 1409 01:04:16,420 --> 01:04:18,255 But together, their intelligence 1410 01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:20,824 is beyond what we can even conceive. 1411 01:04:20,891 --> 01:04:22,326 Hm-heh. 1412 01:04:22,391 --> 01:04:24,827 We've located the second creature. 1413 01:04:24,894 --> 01:04:27,797 If we keep them apart, it'll neutralize the threat. 1414 01:04:27,864 --> 01:04:29,599 But if we don't bring them together, 1415 01:04:29,666 --> 01:04:32,902 we'll never know their plans for world conquest. 1416 01:04:32,969 --> 01:04:35,771 Or the location of their internal sexual organs. 1417 01:04:35,838 --> 01:04:37,641 Heh-heh-heh. 1418 01:04:37,706 --> 01:04:39,208 Pipe. 1419 01:04:39,275 --> 01:04:40,978 Stop playing dumb. 1420 01:04:41,045 --> 01:04:42,679 Are you here to destroy me? 1421 01:04:42,746 --> 01:04:44,981 Uh, if that's how you want it, baby. 1422 01:04:45,048 --> 01:04:46,115 Heh-heh. 1423 01:04:46,182 --> 01:04:47,952 But I can also be very gentle. 1424 01:04:48,018 --> 01:04:49,362 Okay, we're not getting anywhere. 1425 01:04:49,385 --> 01:04:52,021 Uh, I don't mind the handcuffs, but like, 1426 01:04:52,088 --> 01:04:54,657 is this dumbass gonna be in the room while we're getting it on? 1427 01:04:54,724 --> 01:04:56,460 Who is this? 1428 01:04:56,525 --> 01:04:58,394 Hello, Governor. It appears we each have 1429 01:04:58,461 --> 01:05:01,398 something the other wants. 1430 01:05:02,699 --> 01:05:04,634 Governor Ryan, the secret Defense Command 1431 01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:07,336 demands you turn over your prisoner immediately 1432 01:05:07,403 --> 01:05:09,239 for reasons of national security. 1433 01:05:09,306 --> 01:05:12,309 You're sitting too close to me, Beavis. 1434 01:05:12,376 --> 01:05:14,244 You're sitting too close to me. 1435 01:05:14,311 --> 01:05:15,778 Butthole, hm-hm-heh. 1436 01:05:15,844 --> 01:05:18,847 As long as you're in the state of Texas, Special Agent, 1437 01:05:18,914 --> 01:05:20,617 both those boys belong to me. 1438 01:05:20,684 --> 01:05:23,487 And to a lesser extent me, because I'm the lieutenant... 1439 01:05:23,552 --> 01:05:25,389 There's no ice in this. 1440 01:05:25,454 --> 01:05:27,690 Could your assistant get me some ice as well? 1441 01:05:27,757 --> 01:05:30,293 Oh, I'm not actually her assistant, I'm the lieutenant... 1442 01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:32,128 Hartson, just get us some ice. 1443 01:05:35,298 --> 01:05:37,134 Heh, bunghole. 1444 01:05:37,201 --> 01:05:39,503 You're the bunghole, buttwagon. 1445 01:05:39,568 --> 01:05:41,972 The federal government has jurisdiction. 1446 01:05:42,039 --> 01:05:43,440 He said dick. 1447 01:05:43,507 --> 01:05:45,641 Heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-heh. 1448 01:05:45,708 --> 01:05:47,476 It's not that funny, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1449 01:05:47,543 --> 01:05:50,447 Federal law dictates that you turn them over. 1450 01:05:50,514 --> 01:05:53,782 Whoa, he definitely said dick that time. 1451 01:05:53,849 --> 01:05:56,485 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-hm-heh, yeah, heh. 1452 01:05:56,552 --> 01:05:59,322 Yeah, so what? It's not that funny, Butt-Head. 1453 01:05:59,389 --> 01:06:00,829 So one word sounds like another word, 1454 01:06:00,889 --> 01:06:02,326 big deal, who cares? 1455 01:06:02,391 --> 01:06:05,061 So you can ruin me and have me replaced as governor 1456 01:06:05,128 --> 01:06:06,963 with one of your deep state assets? 1457 01:06:07,030 --> 01:06:09,333 She said ate ass. 1458 01:06:09,398 --> 01:06:12,168 Heh-heh-heh. - Whoa, ate ass. 1459 01:06:12,235 --> 01:06:13,469 She said ate ass! 1460 01:06:13,536 --> 01:06:14,813 Jesus, what is wrong with you? 1461 01:06:14,838 --> 01:06:16,306 I did not say ate ass. 1462 01:06:16,373 --> 01:06:18,275 - She said it again, hm-heh. - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1463 01:06:18,342 --> 01:06:19,708 Ate ass. 1464 01:06:19,775 --> 01:06:22,146 They're just sitting around saying ate ass. 1465 01:06:22,211 --> 01:06:24,447 - Ate ass. - Ate ass. 1466 01:06:24,514 --> 01:06:26,449 - They are really annoying. - Ate ass, sir. 1467 01:06:26,516 --> 01:06:28,061 Is there another room we could put them in? 1468 01:06:28,085 --> 01:06:29,418 Ate ass! 1469 01:06:29,485 --> 01:06:31,820 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh, ate ass. 1470 01:06:31,887 --> 01:06:33,523 Hm-hm-heh-heh-heh. - Ate ass, heh-heh. 1471 01:06:33,590 --> 01:06:35,559 And then she said she didn't say ate ass, 1472 01:06:35,625 --> 01:06:37,094 which made her say it again. 1473 01:06:37,161 --> 01:06:39,563 And then we said it, remember? 1474 01:06:39,628 --> 01:06:41,664 Hm-hm-hm-heh-heh. - Yeah, that was cool. 1475 01:06:41,731 --> 01:06:43,233 - Oh, boy. - Heh-heh-heh. 1476 01:06:43,300 --> 01:06:44,867 Quick, I don't have much time. 1477 01:06:44,934 --> 01:06:47,137 I know what Serena did to you on the Endeavor. 1478 01:06:47,204 --> 01:06:49,972 Uh, she hasn't done it yet. 1479 01:06:50,039 --> 01:06:51,641 It's gonna be any minute though, yeah. 1480 01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:53,577 I can help you bring her down. 1481 01:06:53,643 --> 01:06:57,280 Uh, so like, you'd be in the room? 1482 01:06:57,347 --> 01:06:59,148 I'll be right behind you all the way. 1483 01:06:59,215 --> 01:07:00,784 - Heh. - Ugh. 1484 01:07:00,849 --> 01:07:02,251 Really? - I don't know, Butt-Head, 1485 01:07:02,318 --> 01:07:03,652 I guess it's worth it, I mean, 1486 01:07:03,719 --> 01:07:05,398 I wouldn't say no to anything at this point. 1487 01:07:05,422 --> 01:07:06,822 Here's the plan. 1488 01:07:06,889 --> 01:07:09,492 I left the keys in that green car right down there. 1489 01:07:09,559 --> 01:07:10,559 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 1490 01:07:10,594 --> 01:07:12,161 Take the highway northbound 1491 01:07:12,228 --> 01:07:13,496 to the Pecos county rest stop. 1492 01:07:13,563 --> 01:07:14,664 Mm-hmm, sounds good. 1493 01:07:14,731 --> 01:07:16,532 There's a reporter from the morning news 1494 01:07:16,599 --> 01:07:18,101 waiting to hear your story. 1495 01:07:18,168 --> 01:07:19,469 - Okay. - All right, uh-huh. 1496 01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,971 - Did you get all that? - Yes, sir, heh-heh. 1497 01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:23,572 Yep, we're gonna score. 1498 01:07:23,639 --> 01:07:26,175 Heh-heh-heh. - Damn right. 1499 01:07:26,242 --> 01:07:28,545 I have to go back in there before they get suspicious, 1500 01:07:28,612 --> 01:07:30,246 but you've got to get out of here, now. 1501 01:07:30,313 --> 01:07:33,182 The people in there want you dead. 1502 01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:35,485 What she tried to do to you in '98 1503 01:07:35,552 --> 01:07:38,722 she's done to me every day for 24 years. 1504 01:07:38,788 --> 01:07:40,724 - Christ, heh-heh-heh. - Whoa, heh-heh. 1505 01:07:40,789 --> 01:07:42,101 There's no need to brag about it. 1506 01:07:42,126 --> 01:07:44,027 I'm going to make sure she can't do it to you 1507 01:07:44,094 --> 01:07:47,331 or anyone else ever again. 1508 01:07:47,396 --> 01:07:49,465 Uh, wait a minute, 1509 01:07:49,532 --> 01:07:51,400 I think I see what's going on here. 1510 01:07:51,467 --> 01:07:53,336 He doesn't want us to score. 1511 01:07:53,402 --> 01:07:55,405 That's why he took the handcuffs off. 1512 01:07:55,472 --> 01:07:56,672 Yeah, yeah, because he knows 1513 01:07:56,739 --> 01:07:58,307 Serena has a thing for handcuffs. 1514 01:07:58,375 --> 01:08:00,143 Yeah, hm-hm-heh. - Exactly. 1515 01:08:00,210 --> 01:08:01,644 And that's why he gave us a car, 1516 01:08:01,710 --> 01:08:03,579 and directions to someplace far away 1517 01:08:03,646 --> 01:08:05,614 where Serena will never find us. 1518 01:08:05,681 --> 01:08:07,817 That dirty butthole. 1519 01:08:07,884 --> 01:08:08,751 Damn it! Heh. 1520 01:08:08,818 --> 01:08:10,052 What's wrong with that guy? 1521 01:08:10,119 --> 01:08:12,556 He's scored every day for... for 24 years. 1522 01:08:12,621 --> 01:08:14,757 That's like, um, 50 times. 1523 01:08:14,824 --> 01:08:16,024 We got to get back in there 1524 01:08:16,091 --> 01:08:18,494 and get those handcuffs back on, Beavis. 1525 01:08:18,561 --> 01:08:20,863 We just outsmarted that son of a bitch. 1526 01:08:22,498 --> 01:08:24,100 Damn it, it's locked. 1527 01:08:24,167 --> 01:08:26,069 Quick, Butt-Head, the window. 1528 01:08:28,505 --> 01:08:29,939 - Ah! - Ugh. 1529 01:08:30,006 --> 01:08:32,542 Heh-heh. - That was close, hm-hm-heh. 1530 01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:34,411 I can't wait to see the look on his face 1531 01:08:34,478 --> 01:08:36,345 when he sees that car and we're not in it. 1532 01:08:36,412 --> 01:08:37,480 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1533 01:08:39,416 --> 01:08:41,251 What did I miss? 1534 01:08:41,318 --> 01:08:42,485 This is so funny. 1535 01:08:42,551 --> 01:08:44,387 We were arguing whether they're aliens 1536 01:08:44,453 --> 01:08:45,921 or the boys from the Space Shuttle. 1537 01:08:45,988 --> 01:08:48,358 But then we realized, it doesn't matter. 1538 01:08:48,425 --> 01:08:50,059 We both want the same thing. 1539 01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:53,497 We want to kill them, and they want to dissect them. 1540 01:08:53,563 --> 01:08:55,265 We're all on the same team. 1541 01:08:57,434 --> 01:08:59,569 Well, let's go kill them. 1542 01:08:59,636 --> 01:09:02,037 And dissect them, right, Phil? 1543 01:09:02,104 --> 01:09:03,239 You got me. 1544 01:09:05,509 --> 01:09:07,377 What the hell? 1545 01:09:07,444 --> 01:09:09,045 Uh, just hold on a second. 1546 01:09:09,112 --> 01:09:10,747 What is it, Hartson? 1547 01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:12,948 All this talk about dissecting 1548 01:09:13,015 --> 01:09:14,551 is making me curious. 1549 01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:16,619 No, you know what, forget it, it's probably way 1550 01:09:16,685 --> 01:09:19,122 too complicated for someone like me to understand. 1551 01:09:19,189 --> 01:09:20,390 Hmm. 1552 01:09:20,457 --> 01:09:23,091 Oh, no, no, no, on the contrary, 1553 01:09:23,158 --> 01:09:24,493 this will just take a minute. 1554 01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:26,395 I've got some pictures on my phone. 1555 01:09:26,462 --> 01:09:29,032 First, you need to locate the anus. 1556 01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,469 Okay, there, we got 'em closed. 1557 01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:35,505 Now let's put our hands in. 1558 01:09:35,572 --> 01:09:37,039 It won't fit, Butt-Head. 1559 01:09:37,105 --> 01:09:39,576 How'd we ever get our hands in here in the first place? 1560 01:09:39,643 --> 01:09:43,011 Uh, let's open them up and start over again. 1561 01:09:43,078 --> 01:09:44,514 We need a key, heh-heh. 1562 01:09:44,581 --> 01:09:48,518 I think that guy said the keys are in the green car. 1563 01:09:48,585 --> 01:09:50,654 Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Uh, oh, yeah. 1564 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,855 Heh-heh, good thinking, Beavis. 1565 01:09:52,921 --> 01:09:54,362 Heh-heh-heh. - Yeah, heh-heh, thanks. 1566 01:09:54,390 --> 01:09:57,860 I know you're thinking, "I need an expensive scalpel," 1567 01:09:57,926 --> 01:10:00,430 but save your money for the embalming fluid. 1568 01:10:00,497 --> 01:10:02,498 There's a guy in Ecuador who can set you up... 1569 01:10:02,565 --> 01:10:04,243 You know what, we don't have time for this. 1570 01:10:04,268 --> 01:10:06,836 Let's go kill those boys, huh? 1571 01:10:06,903 --> 01:10:08,872 Heh-heh. 1572 01:10:08,938 --> 01:10:10,907 - Damn it. - I think you just, um... 1573 01:10:10,974 --> 01:10:13,076 - This key sucks. - Yeah, I don't know. 1574 01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:25,488 They're gone. 1575 01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:26,555 What? 1576 01:10:26,590 --> 01:10:28,492 I can't believe it! 1577 01:10:28,557 --> 01:10:30,059 Where could they have gone? 1578 01:10:30,126 --> 01:10:32,929 I think I have an idea. 1579 01:10:32,996 --> 01:10:37,434 Directions to 322 Woodson Street, Highland, Texas. 1580 01:10:37,501 --> 01:10:39,269 Heh-heh-heh. 1581 01:10:39,336 --> 01:10:40,436 Wood. 1582 01:10:40,503 --> 01:10:42,439 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1583 01:10:42,506 --> 01:10:43,739 Let's go. 1584 01:10:46,676 --> 01:10:49,244 - Damn it. - Hartson, get in the van. 1585 01:10:51,046 --> 01:10:52,448 It doesn't fit. 1586 01:10:53,882 --> 01:10:55,083 Hey, Serena's in there. 1587 01:10:55,150 --> 01:10:57,987 And that butthole. 1588 01:10:58,054 --> 01:10:59,689 He's gonna go score with her. 1589 01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:01,925 Why is it always a guy with a van? 1590 01:11:01,990 --> 01:11:04,560 We got to save her before Hartson bones her again. 1591 01:11:04,627 --> 01:11:06,729 Heh-heh. - Yeah, he's out of control. 1592 01:11:06,796 --> 01:11:09,131 And, um, I just want to say, um, 1593 01:11:09,198 --> 01:11:11,100 you can score first if you want to, Butt-Head. 1594 01:11:11,167 --> 01:11:12,536 Hm-hm-heh. 1595 01:11:12,601 --> 01:11:15,203 Beavis, I'm not gonna score. 1596 01:11:15,270 --> 01:11:17,140 And you're not gonna score. 1597 01:11:17,206 --> 01:11:18,274 We're gonna score. 1598 01:11:19,443 --> 01:11:22,110 Yeah, heh, yeah, yeah! 1599 01:11:22,177 --> 01:11:24,948 Now let's go score before I change my mind. 1600 01:11:25,014 --> 01:11:27,516 Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. - Yeah! 1601 01:11:27,583 --> 01:11:29,786 All we need now is a car. 1602 01:11:29,853 --> 01:11:34,056 Hmm. - Um, Butt-Head, we're in a car. 1603 01:11:34,122 --> 01:11:36,592 Yeah, hm-hm-hm-heh. - Oh, yeah, heh-heh. 1604 01:11:36,659 --> 01:11:38,962 You really brought your A-game today, Beavis. 1605 01:11:39,028 --> 01:11:40,764 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh, yeah, thanks. 1606 01:11:40,829 --> 01:11:42,365 Hm-hm-heh. 1607 01:11:42,431 --> 01:11:44,143 Remember, Butt-Head, it's gonna go backwards like before. 1608 01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:45,201 Yeah, hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1609 01:11:45,268 --> 01:11:46,603 Uh, oh, yeah. 1610 01:11:46,670 --> 01:11:48,805 Heh-heh, you're on a roll, Beavis. 1611 01:11:48,872 --> 01:11:50,139 Heh-heh. 1612 01:11:50,206 --> 01:11:53,643 Just gonna back this baby out and go score. 1613 01:11:58,414 --> 01:12:00,917 Heh, kick ass, yeah! 1614 01:12:00,984 --> 01:12:02,351 Heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh. 1615 01:12:02,418 --> 01:12:03,538 This is cool. 1616 01:12:03,587 --> 01:12:04,820 Yeah, yeah, heh-heh, yeah. 1617 01:12:04,887 --> 01:12:07,122 Whoa! - Heh-heh. 1618 01:12:07,189 --> 01:12:08,524 Wait, I see her! 1619 01:12:08,591 --> 01:12:10,894 I see her, Butt-Head, speed up! - Okay, Beavis. 1620 01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:13,997 ♪ Revolution in their minds ♪ 1621 01:12:14,063 --> 01:12:15,599 ♪ The children start to march ♪ 1622 01:12:15,664 --> 01:12:18,001 Heh-heh-heh. 1623 01:12:18,067 --> 01:12:20,002 Hang on, we're being followed. 1624 01:12:20,069 --> 01:12:22,405 What the hell? 1625 01:12:25,841 --> 01:12:26,876 There she is! 1626 01:12:26,943 --> 01:12:28,478 Faster, Butt-Head, come on, faster! 1627 01:12:28,545 --> 01:12:29,746 Who could it be? 1628 01:12:29,813 --> 01:12:31,372 Probably just someone who just happens 1629 01:12:31,414 --> 01:12:32,548 to be going our way. 1630 01:12:32,615 --> 01:12:33,817 To the store, perhaps. 1631 01:12:33,882 --> 01:12:36,420 It's the Venezuelans or Al-Qaeda. 1632 01:12:36,485 --> 01:12:37,987 Or the Venusians. 1633 01:12:38,054 --> 01:12:39,354 Or Arcturus Six. 1634 01:12:39,422 --> 01:12:41,690 Or probably just someone going to the store. 1635 01:12:41,757 --> 01:12:43,059 You know how you run out of milk? 1636 01:12:43,126 --> 01:12:44,860 I think it's time to put this baby 1637 01:12:44,927 --> 01:12:46,162 into high gear, Beavis. 1638 01:12:46,229 --> 01:12:47,840 Yeah, yeah, heh, yeah let's do it, yeah. 1639 01:12:47,863 --> 01:12:49,466 What does R stand for? 1640 01:12:49,533 --> 01:12:51,600 Hm-hm-heh. - Uh, really fast? 1641 01:12:51,667 --> 01:12:53,368 Yeah, yeah, let's go really fast. 1642 01:12:56,773 --> 01:12:58,140 Ow, heh, ow! - Ugh! 1643 01:13:00,577 --> 01:13:01,810 Ugh. 1644 01:13:01,877 --> 01:13:03,813 You have a bag in your face. 1645 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:06,550 - Heh-heh-heh. - Oh, yeah, heh-heh. 1646 01:13:06,615 --> 01:13:08,685 Bag, heh-heh-heh. - Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1647 01:13:08,752 --> 01:13:09,752 Come on, Butt-Head! 1648 01:13:09,786 --> 01:13:10,786 Come on, drive! 1649 01:13:10,819 --> 01:13:12,555 We have to save Serena, come on. 1650 01:13:17,461 --> 01:13:22,398 ♪ Children of tomorrow live in the tears that fall today ♪ 1651 01:13:24,067 --> 01:13:26,101 ♪ Will the sun rise up tomorrow ♪ 1652 01:13:26,168 --> 01:13:29,372 ♪ Bring in peace in any way? ♪ 1653 01:13:30,939 --> 01:13:32,484 ♪ Must the world live in the shadow... ♪ 1654 01:13:32,509 --> 01:13:35,511 Uh, I think there's something wrong with this car. 1655 01:13:35,578 --> 01:13:37,313 Heh-heh-heh. 1656 01:13:37,380 --> 01:13:39,582 The car is going backwards, Butt-Head. 1657 01:13:39,649 --> 01:13:41,417 Heh. - Uh, oh. 1658 01:13:41,484 --> 01:13:44,353 Heh-heh, cool. 1659 01:13:44,420 --> 01:13:46,722 Whew, well, I think we lost them. 1660 01:13:46,789 --> 01:13:48,323 Nothing to worry about, I guess. 1661 01:13:50,326 --> 01:13:52,862 They're back, and they're driving backwards. 1662 01:13:52,929 --> 01:13:54,430 What the hell is happening? 1663 01:13:54,497 --> 01:13:56,099 Who are these guys? 1664 01:13:56,164 --> 01:13:58,734 The East Germans train their assassination teams 1665 01:13:58,801 --> 01:14:00,470 to drive backwards to give their snipers 1666 01:14:00,537 --> 01:14:01,904 a better field of vision. 1667 01:14:08,144 --> 01:14:09,488 We almost got 'em, Butt-Head, hurry. 1668 01:14:09,512 --> 01:14:10,814 Heh-heh-hm-hm-heh. 1669 01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:14,016 Beavis and Butt-Head. 1670 01:14:14,082 --> 01:14:15,451 Listen carefully. 1671 01:14:15,519 --> 01:14:18,054 You only have three minutes to go through the portal. 1672 01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:19,788 Our universes hang in the balance. 1673 01:14:19,855 --> 01:14:23,059 Uh, how did you get here? 1674 01:14:23,126 --> 01:14:26,529 Our universe has technology that you can only dream of. 1675 01:14:26,595 --> 01:14:28,064 Can you watch porn on it? 1676 01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:29,832 Yes, an infinite amount. 1677 01:14:29,899 --> 01:14:31,935 Every scenario you can ever imagine. 1678 01:14:32,001 --> 01:14:33,269 But none of it will exist 1679 01:14:33,336 --> 01:14:34,904 if you do not go through the portal. 1680 01:14:34,970 --> 01:14:37,273 Why did you not go through the portal before? 1681 01:14:37,340 --> 01:14:40,143 It was right there behind the Classics department. 1682 01:14:40,208 --> 01:14:42,746 You could have saved the universe and maybe learned 1683 01:14:42,811 --> 01:14:44,980 how Latin is the basis of English grammar. 1684 01:14:45,047 --> 01:14:47,751 But no matter. At great personal expense, 1685 01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,385 we have moved the portal again. 1686 01:14:49,452 --> 01:14:51,253 It is now in your old home, 1687 01:14:51,319 --> 01:14:53,856 in the poorly renovated half bathroom. 1688 01:14:53,922 --> 01:14:56,626 Enter now so the portal might seal itself, 1689 01:14:56,693 --> 01:14:58,226 and you will return to a universe 1690 01:14:58,293 --> 01:15:00,162 where you never went through the black hole 1691 01:15:00,229 --> 01:15:04,332 but instead lived your lives these past 24 years. 1692 01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,203 - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-heh-heh. 1693 01:15:07,270 --> 01:15:09,204 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 1694 01:15:09,271 --> 01:15:11,439 Um, heh, who are those guys? 1695 01:15:11,506 --> 01:15:13,643 Uh, I don't know. 1696 01:15:13,710 --> 01:15:15,078 They seem pretty cool, though. 1697 01:15:15,144 --> 01:15:16,813 Yeah, yeah, yeah, not too bad, really. 1698 01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:18,582 This show sucks. 1699 01:15:18,648 --> 01:15:20,015 Yeah, yeah, it's horrible. 1700 01:15:20,082 --> 01:15:21,726 Change the channel, Butt-Head, come on, right now. 1701 01:15:21,751 --> 01:15:23,519 Don't tell me what to do. 1702 01:15:24,820 --> 01:15:26,261 Yeah, yeah, hit 'em, hit 'em again. 1703 01:15:27,690 --> 01:15:29,024 Come on, turn that show back on. 1704 01:15:29,091 --> 01:15:30,092 There is no time. 1705 01:15:30,158 --> 01:15:31,994 Now fly to the portal, fly. 1706 01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:34,963 There's a stop sign, Butt-Head. 1707 01:15:35,030 --> 01:15:36,131 Fly, my friends... 1708 01:15:39,268 --> 01:15:41,770 Heh, ow. 1709 01:15:41,837 --> 01:15:44,273 Ah! 1710 01:15:44,340 --> 01:15:45,440 That was painful. 1711 01:15:45,507 --> 01:15:48,344 We must hasten to the... 1712 01:15:49,912 --> 01:15:51,346 Looks like we lost them. 1713 01:15:51,413 --> 01:15:53,416 Woodson Street is right up ahead. 1714 01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:04,761 There they are, Butt-Head. 1715 01:16:04,828 --> 01:16:06,362 Sweet Christ. 1716 01:16:06,429 --> 01:16:08,163 There's only five people in the world 1717 01:16:08,230 --> 01:16:09,240 who could drive like that. 1718 01:16:09,265 --> 01:16:10,466 Yeah, again, probably just 1719 01:16:10,533 --> 01:16:11,877 someone going out shopping, and their 1720 01:16:11,900 --> 01:16:13,469 transmission got stuck in reverse. 1721 01:16:13,536 --> 01:16:15,137 Happens to me. Never happened to you? 1722 01:16:15,203 --> 01:16:17,372 I'm not going down without a fight. 1723 01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:19,708 Or instead, you could pull over 1724 01:16:19,775 --> 01:16:20,853 and let me out and... 1725 01:16:20,877 --> 01:16:21,877 Ahh! 1726 01:16:25,413 --> 01:16:27,984 Cool. Someone put a little mirror here 1727 01:16:28,051 --> 01:16:29,293 where you can, like, see behind... 1728 01:16:29,318 --> 01:16:30,920 Heh-heh. 1729 01:16:30,987 --> 01:16:32,788 I don't see it, where? 1730 01:16:32,855 --> 01:16:34,056 Ah! - Ugh! 1731 01:16:35,423 --> 01:16:36,626 Hey Butt-Head, they stopped. 1732 01:16:36,693 --> 01:16:38,426 We got 'em right where we want 'em. 1733 01:16:38,493 --> 01:16:39,929 - Ah, ah! - Ugh! 1734 01:16:42,731 --> 01:16:43,667 Get out of the car. 1735 01:16:51,173 --> 01:16:53,542 - Of course. - What the hell? 1736 01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:55,310 That's right, baby. 1737 01:16:55,377 --> 01:16:57,579 Our little dance of seduction is now complete. 1738 01:16:57,646 --> 01:16:59,414 Heh-heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh, oh, yeah. 1739 01:16:59,481 --> 01:17:02,318 Hold your fire. 1740 01:17:02,385 --> 01:17:06,154 24 years ago, you nearly destroyed me. 1741 01:17:06,221 --> 01:17:08,524 And now you've traveled through time and space 1742 01:17:08,591 --> 01:17:11,226 to try to destroy me again. 1743 01:17:11,293 --> 01:17:14,096 I want to be the one to do this. 1744 01:17:14,162 --> 01:17:15,965 Yes! Heh-heh. 1745 01:17:16,032 --> 01:17:17,533 Yes, it's really going to happen! 1746 01:17:18,835 --> 01:17:20,904 Wait, bu... why are you happy? 1747 01:17:20,970 --> 01:17:23,538 Uh, because, milady, 1748 01:17:23,605 --> 01:17:25,440 we are about to score with thee. 1749 01:17:25,507 --> 01:17:26,710 Together. 1750 01:17:26,775 --> 01:17:28,712 - Heh-heh, heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh-heh. 1751 01:17:28,778 --> 01:17:30,113 Hang on. 1752 01:17:30,179 --> 01:17:32,547 Do you think I'm going to have sex with you? 1753 01:17:32,614 --> 01:17:34,117 Uh, yeah. 1754 01:17:34,182 --> 01:17:35,703 Heh-heh. - So, um, should we do it here 1755 01:17:35,752 --> 01:17:37,820 or in the kitchen, 'cause I think that guy 1756 01:17:37,886 --> 01:17:39,087 wants to watch or something? 1757 01:17:39,154 --> 01:17:41,090 - Heh-heh. - Hm, yeah, heh. 1758 01:17:41,157 --> 01:17:43,292 Yeah, you said you'd have sex with us 1759 01:17:43,359 --> 01:17:45,895 back at Space Camp. Remember? 1760 01:17:45,962 --> 01:17:47,930 What did I say at Space Camp? 1761 01:17:49,131 --> 01:17:51,000 How would you guys like to do that, 1762 01:17:51,067 --> 01:17:53,469 but do it for real, with me? 1763 01:17:53,536 --> 01:17:55,337 - Whoa. - Yes! 1764 01:17:55,404 --> 01:17:57,273 That wasn't so hard, was it? 1765 01:17:57,340 --> 01:17:58,582 Well, actually, it was pretty hard 1766 01:17:58,606 --> 01:18:00,275 until the last five minutes or so, 1767 01:18:00,342 --> 01:18:01,609 but then I got barf on it. 1768 01:18:01,676 --> 01:18:04,113 And then, you know, just, heh, see you later. 1769 01:18:04,180 --> 01:18:07,751 To me, the most exciting part is re-entry. 1770 01:18:07,817 --> 01:18:09,853 - Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-heh-heh. 1771 01:18:09,918 --> 01:18:11,029 Yeah, we get to do it twice! 1772 01:18:12,756 --> 01:18:13,890 Do it... 1773 01:18:13,957 --> 01:18:15,792 so hard... 1774 01:18:15,859 --> 01:18:17,626 re-entry... 1775 01:18:17,693 --> 01:18:20,363 Oh, my God. You were never out to get me. 1776 01:18:20,429 --> 01:18:22,832 You just wanted to have sex with me. 1777 01:18:22,899 --> 01:18:24,533 Yeah, baby, heh-heh. 1778 01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,702 Guilty as charged, heh, you know what I'm saying? 1779 01:18:26,770 --> 01:18:27,936 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1780 01:18:28,003 --> 01:18:29,604 These boys aren't my enemies, 1781 01:18:29,671 --> 01:18:32,341 and they're not aliens out to destroy our way of life. 1782 01:18:32,408 --> 01:18:37,747 They're just two very, very stupid and horny teenagers. 1783 01:18:40,515 --> 01:18:42,051 Uh, huh? 1784 01:18:42,118 --> 01:18:43,519 Heh-heh. - Yeah, come on, heh-heh. 1785 01:18:43,586 --> 01:18:45,822 Boi-yoi-yoi-ing! 1786 01:18:45,889 --> 01:18:48,024 I can't believe I've been hanging on to this 1787 01:18:48,091 --> 01:18:49,625 for 24 years. 1788 01:18:49,692 --> 01:18:51,761 Yeah, I've been hanging on to it too. 1789 01:18:51,828 --> 01:18:53,261 Hm-hm-heh. 1790 01:18:53,328 --> 01:18:56,932 And now, I know you mean you've been masturbating. 1791 01:18:57,000 --> 01:18:58,935 It's all so simple. 1792 01:18:59,002 --> 01:19:01,404 Well, I'll be. 1793 01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:02,704 Masturbating. 1794 01:19:02,771 --> 01:19:05,640 Let's all go home. 1795 01:19:05,707 --> 01:19:07,676 Oh, no, I'm not gonna let everyone 1796 01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,345 just walk away from this. 1797 01:19:09,412 --> 01:19:13,048 I know everything you've done, every law you've broken. 1798 01:19:13,115 --> 01:19:15,784 That's right, from now on, it's gonna be my turn because... 1799 01:19:16,985 --> 01:19:18,253 - What? - What the hell? 1800 01:19:18,320 --> 01:19:20,989 Beavis and Butt-Head, hear us. 1801 01:19:21,056 --> 01:19:23,692 You need to open the door first, Smart Butt-Head. 1802 01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:25,261 Yes, yes, the door, yes. 1803 01:19:25,328 --> 01:19:28,163 Well observed, Smart Beavis, well observed, yes. 1804 01:19:28,230 --> 01:19:30,265 Beavis and Butt-Head, hear us. 1805 01:19:30,332 --> 01:19:32,301 You have mere seconds to enter the portal. 1806 01:19:32,368 --> 01:19:34,403 Only by the two of you entering this portal 1807 01:19:34,470 --> 01:19:36,238 can our universes be saved. 1808 01:19:36,305 --> 01:19:39,742 Otherwise, the entire cosmos shall perish forever. 1809 01:19:39,809 --> 01:19:41,510 Make haste. 1810 01:19:41,577 --> 01:19:43,746 Uh, okay, haste. 1811 01:19:43,813 --> 01:19:47,149 No, they are witnesses and they are not going anywhere! 1812 01:19:47,216 --> 01:19:49,018 And I don't know who you two freaks are 1813 01:19:49,085 --> 01:19:52,255 or how you're mixed up in this, but I'm gonna find out. 1814 01:19:52,320 --> 01:19:54,657 I am done being a laughingstock. 1815 01:19:54,722 --> 01:19:57,225 I've already called the Federal whistleblower hotline 1816 01:19:57,292 --> 01:19:58,962 and as soon as I get off hold... 1817 01:19:59,028 --> 01:20:00,296 Hello, can I help you? 1818 01:20:00,363 --> 01:20:02,064 You sure can, I am calling 1819 01:20:02,131 --> 01:20:03,765 from Highland, Texas, and I... 1820 01:20:07,502 --> 01:20:08,604 Hello? 1821 01:20:08,671 --> 01:20:10,273 Hello? 1822 01:20:10,338 --> 01:20:12,640 Asshole. 1823 01:20:18,081 --> 01:20:20,248 Hmm. Well, I will be damned. 1824 01:20:20,315 --> 01:20:21,817 That appears to have worked. 1825 01:20:21,885 --> 01:20:23,618 We thought it needed to be the two of you 1826 01:20:23,685 --> 01:20:24,854 to go through the portal. 1827 01:20:24,921 --> 01:20:26,622 But I guess anything would have worked. 1828 01:20:26,689 --> 01:20:28,390 We could have thrown a brick in there. 1829 01:20:28,457 --> 01:20:30,359 It's safe to say, we were making it 1830 01:20:30,426 --> 01:20:32,427 more complicated than it needed to be. 1831 01:20:32,494 --> 01:20:34,172 While we are the smartest Beavis and Butt-Head 1832 01:20:34,197 --> 01:20:35,463 in all the cosmos, 1833 01:20:35,530 --> 01:20:38,634 in absolute terms, we're still not so bright. 1834 01:20:38,701 --> 01:20:39,935 Okay, boys. 1835 01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:42,104 No one can know what happened here tonight. 1836 01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:43,907 So what will it take to keep you quiet? 1837 01:20:43,972 --> 01:20:46,009 Uh, we want to score. 1838 01:20:46,074 --> 01:20:47,443 Heh-heh. 1839 01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:48,844 Oh, God. 1840 01:20:48,912 --> 01:20:52,347 I mean, I suppose it's not the most disgusting thing 1841 01:20:52,414 --> 01:20:54,449 I've done for my career. 1842 01:20:54,516 --> 01:20:56,418 So would it have to be both of you? 1843 01:20:56,484 --> 01:20:58,220 That's right, Serena. 1844 01:20:58,287 --> 01:20:59,622 We're a team. - Yep. 1845 01:20:59,688 --> 01:21:01,123 - Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1846 01:21:01,189 --> 01:21:06,162 Oh, God, this is, oof, rough. 1847 01:21:06,229 --> 01:21:09,431 I'm gonna need a minute to think about this. 1848 01:21:09,497 --> 01:21:12,835 Um, heh, Serena, whatever you decide, 1849 01:21:12,902 --> 01:21:14,636 you know, like, either way, 1850 01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:16,372 there's something I need to tell you. 1851 01:21:16,439 --> 01:21:17,472 Um, heh. 1852 01:21:17,539 --> 01:21:20,042 Something I tried to say before, 1853 01:21:20,109 --> 01:21:21,844 but I didn't have the courage. 1854 01:21:21,911 --> 01:21:23,546 Go ahead, Beavis. 1855 01:21:23,612 --> 01:21:27,250 Now Serena, I've been on a long journey 1856 01:21:27,315 --> 01:21:29,851 and I've been to outer space 1857 01:21:29,918 --> 01:21:31,420 and I've been in a toilet. 1858 01:21:31,487 --> 01:21:34,122 And I think I've been to some other places 1859 01:21:34,189 --> 01:21:36,091 that, um, heh, I don't remember. 1860 01:21:36,158 --> 01:21:37,760 But um... - You went to college. 1861 01:21:37,826 --> 01:21:40,195 Oh, yeah, yeah, heh, I went to college... 1862 01:21:40,262 --> 01:21:42,331 And you went to jail. 1863 01:21:42,398 --> 01:21:44,632 No, I don't remember that. 1864 01:21:44,699 --> 01:21:48,136 Anyway, along the way, I learned some things and stuff. 1865 01:21:48,203 --> 01:21:49,537 Or something, and, um, heh. 1866 01:21:49,604 --> 01:21:53,376 And so now, I finally am ready 1867 01:21:53,442 --> 01:21:56,212 to say to you what I've been wanting to say, 1868 01:21:56,279 --> 01:21:57,412 which is that... 1869 01:21:57,479 --> 01:22:01,050 That I... I, um, heh, I lo... 1870 01:22:01,117 --> 01:22:02,818 I... I... 1871 01:22:02,885 --> 01:22:04,287 I... I lo... 1872 01:22:04,353 --> 01:22:06,021 Come on, kid, you can do it. 1873 01:22:06,088 --> 01:22:07,256 I... 1874 01:22:07,323 --> 01:22:08,490 I love you, Serena. 1875 01:22:08,556 --> 01:22:10,592 For years, I have watched you from afar 1876 01:22:10,658 --> 01:22:13,029 through the portal, entranced by your beauty, 1877 01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:14,497 your elegance, your grace, 1878 01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:16,664 your intelligence, your knowledge of science. 1879 01:22:16,731 --> 01:22:18,100 Wait a second. 1880 01:22:18,167 --> 01:22:19,902 And I have a better offer for you. 1881 01:22:19,969 --> 01:22:21,604 Come with me to my universe, 1882 01:22:21,670 --> 01:22:23,671 and I will show you the mysteries of the cosmos 1883 01:22:23,738 --> 01:22:25,873 as we travel across the galaxies, 1884 01:22:25,940 --> 01:22:28,377 beyond anything NASA will ever achieve... 1885 01:22:28,444 --> 01:22:30,412 fulfilling all the dreams you ever had 1886 01:22:30,479 --> 01:22:33,381 since you were a little girl staring up at the stars. 1887 01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:39,322 Wow, that is, surprisingly, 1888 01:22:39,387 --> 01:22:41,556 everything I've ever dreamed of. 1889 01:22:41,623 --> 01:22:43,591 Um, I have an offer too, um, heh. 1890 01:22:43,658 --> 01:22:46,162 I found a coupon in the car for Taco Bell. 1891 01:22:46,229 --> 01:22:48,197 I was thinking maybe we could, um, 1892 01:22:48,264 --> 01:22:49,765 we could go have a taco... 1893 01:22:49,832 --> 01:22:52,100 Also I was thinking we might score. 1894 01:22:52,167 --> 01:22:53,101 You know what? 1895 01:22:53,168 --> 01:22:54,537 So was I. 1896 01:22:54,603 --> 01:22:57,105 Yeah, sometimes the Taco Bell has a Pizza Hut. 1897 01:22:57,172 --> 01:23:00,109 You know, if you don't like tacos, heh, or nachos. 1898 01:23:02,145 --> 01:23:05,780 I have a gigantic schlong. I hope that's okay. 1899 01:23:08,016 --> 01:23:10,286 Oh, boy, yeah, I knew it. 1900 01:23:10,353 --> 01:23:11,353 Here we go again. 1901 01:23:11,386 --> 01:23:13,088 Hm-hm-hm-hm-heh. 1902 01:23:13,155 --> 01:23:15,623 Beavis, you're a dumbass. 1903 01:23:15,690 --> 01:23:17,025 Heh-heh-heh. - Hm-hm-hm-heh. 1904 01:23:17,092 --> 01:23:20,195 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm-hm-heh. 1905 01:23:23,032 --> 01:23:24,367 And there you have it. 1906 01:23:24,432 --> 01:23:26,702 The greatest story ever told. 1907 01:23:26,769 --> 01:23:28,703 Heh-heh-heh. - Pretty cool, yeah, heh-heh. 1908 01:23:28,770 --> 01:23:31,274 We promised those government buttholes that we wouldn't 1909 01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,951 tell anyone what happened, and they gave us 1910 01:23:32,975 --> 01:23:35,344 a brand-new TV and put our house back 1911 01:23:35,411 --> 01:23:36,979 exactly the way it was. 1912 01:23:37,046 --> 01:23:40,382 And it wasn't me, but somewhere out there, 1913 01:23:40,448 --> 01:23:41,850 there's a Beavis who scored. 1914 01:23:41,917 --> 01:23:43,452 Hm, yeah, heh-heh-heh. 1915 01:23:43,519 --> 01:23:47,323 - Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh. - Heh, hm-hm, heh. 1916 01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:49,524 - Heh-heh-heh-heh. - Hm, heh-heh, heh-heh. 1917 01:24:13,649 --> 01:24:17,220 Smart Beavis and Smart Butt-Head, 1918 01:24:17,286 --> 01:24:19,054 we honor you. 1919 01:24:19,122 --> 01:24:25,793 For you, Smart Beavis, are the first among us to score. 1920 01:24:25,860 --> 01:24:29,765 And you, Smart Butt-Head, were able to watch 1921 01:24:29,832 --> 01:24:34,603 by hiding in a suitcase at the foot of the bed. 1922 01:24:34,670 --> 01:24:36,471 Serena left immediately 1923 01:24:36,538 --> 01:24:39,242 and is not returning phone calls or texts. 1924 01:24:39,307 --> 01:24:41,144 But no matter. 1925 01:24:41,210 --> 01:24:45,247 Tonight, we celebrate! 1926 01:25:54,783 --> 01:25:56,018 Chirp. 136250