All language subtitles for 2Labyrinth.of.Passion.1982

LABYRINTH OF PASSION

(READING)

Spanish biogynecologist Dr. de la Peña

achieves the asexual reproduction

of six genetically identical budgies.

Next step, the mass production of mammals.

The Emperor of Tyran flees
from U.S. to Contadora.

No money, sweetie, so no car,
no girl, no dope, no vices.

I'm demented.

Patty Diphusa, the famous porno star,
talks about men.

I think I'll sniff some nail varnish.

(YELPS)

Have some, darling.

What an overdose!

I love it here.

I needed that.

Alcohol by the bucketful.

Give me the lipstick, love.

Can you give this note to that gentleman?

-Who's paying for this?
-He is, obviously.

From the table over there.

-Which one?
-That one.

That's 200 pesetas.

Yes, I would really like to make
you happy this afternoon.

Hello, hello, people.

It's me again, but I'm not here
for the likes of you.

What are you up to?

Seeing who I can pick up.

Fancy that. Me too.

Got a place?

I've got a little place, 20 square feet.

-Is that enough?
-It's plenty.

Better too much than too little.

Quantity not quality is what I say.

-You're all invited to my place.
-Feeling lonely?

No, I'm having a party.

Music, alcohol, porno videos, drugs...

-Hard drugs?
-Just stimulants.

-And lots of girls?
-No, just me.

-Is that enough?
-What do you think?

Don't move,
there are 12 more inside I really fancy.

Don't be long.

You bet I can catch this in my mouth?

I don't know.

-You don't bet?
-It's all the same to me.

Ah! (LAUGHS)

Let's see.

Next to men,
what excites me most is gambling.

I'd bet on anything.

And food?

That doesn't turn me on.

Not sexually anyway.

-Did you go out as we agreed?
-Yes.

I went to the market.

-How was it?
-Not too bad.

And?

I picked up some guys
but I didn't have to pay them.

You mean you slept with them?

Of course.

How many?

Eight, ten. I wasn't counting.

-And the girls?
-Me.

I don't invite girls to my parties. I'm enough.

But Sexi, that means you're a...

Nymphomaniac. Always have been.

-Be careful.
-Why?

You won't always be young.
I'm telling you from experience.

And it's not fair.

Anyway, it's all your father's fault.

My father's? Why?

Well, you hate the sun,
which you identify with him.

You're in love with him...

Very much so...

You screw anything

to make him take some notice of you.

But your father is blind.

He doesn't see your happiness
depends on him.

Yours and mine.

Mine certainly doesn't.
But why should yours?

Why hide it? I want to sleep with your father.

My father?

Work isn't everything.

I'll call him.

Excuse me, Princess.

Yes, put her through.

Hello. This is Susana.

Did Sexi go to see you?

Yes, she's here.

You didn't tell me the child
was a nymphomaniac.

Really? I must have forgotten.

It's you who needs treatment.

Why don't you and I have dinner tonight?

I can't tonight.

-Tomorrow?
-Not tomorrow either.

Day after?

I can't this week.

What about next week?

I'll call you and we can discuss it.

Excuse me.

A problem?

No, it was Sexilia's psychoanalyst
who is a little annoying.

Sexilia is seeing a shrink? Is it serious?

It has no importance at all. What happened
was, the other day at a party...

Who is that man?

Don't you know Dr. de la Peña,

the biogynecologist.

-The father of artificial insemination?
-Yes.

I didn't think he was so young.

Ana, I think I like him.

Forget it. He's the kind who's
only interested in his work.

Which in his case just happens to be sex.

I'm going to chat him up.

You'll never do it.

What do you bet?

Your fur coat.

-Against your Sèvres dishes.
-Deal!

And how is Sexilia?

I don't see much of her.

She goes out a lot?

No, but she leaves her room at 5:00,

just when I start my surgery,

so we rarely meet.

You see,

Sexi has had a phobia about daylight.

Since she was young,
she had to go to night school and...

That has a name in psychology.

-I'm Susana Diaz.
-A pleasure.

I'm a Lacanian psychoanalyst.

Why don't you send her to see me?

-I'm Ana.
-A pleasure.

I could help her get rid of
her little daylight phobia.

Sexilia liked the idea.

It's fashionable with young people
to see shrinks now.

She's been going for a week.

It would be wonderful if she were cured.

-It must be so hard.
-Yes.

-This is what you asked for.
-Thank you.

-Anything else?
-No, thank you.

Getting back to you, are you pleased?

Absolutely.

I feel wonderful.

So you should.

You're as fertile now
as you should have been at 15.

We've done very well, Princess.

Are you going to tell the Emperor?

I don't know.

What with his exile

and his cancer,

he is so upset.

Yes, he must be.

Did I tell you that I met him?

No.

Yes, one summer in Costa del Sol,

15 years ago.

He was with Sarah and the children.

He was always interested in gynecology.

TORAYA: You're telling me!

DOCTOR: I'd published
a very controversial article

on artificial insemination.

He got hold of a copy,

and asked me to come and see him.

We had a very nice talk.

He said if I was continuing with my research

I should call him because he had an idea.

TORAYA: Which idea was that?

DOCTOR: He wanted to have
lots and lots of children,

to father half the population.

He thought it would be possible
with my theories.

Yes, he is a bit crazy.

Since he left me, he's become even worse.

I can imagine.

The doctor can help you
have your own child.

I'm speaking from experience.
I was barren too.

But you're younger than I.

No matter. I was totally sterile
and I had a womb like a 6-year-old.

Incredible. It must seem like a miracle to you.

Well...

Think it over before you do anything.

Children don't bring happiness.

We shouldn't try to fight nature.
She knows best.

Now, me...

I'm sorry I did it.

How can you say that when you have
such a darling little girl?

She'll destroy me!

Don't say that in front of her!

I don't care. She's used to it.

Doesn't Mummy go on!

She's bad with her nerves.

Listen to her!

Hello, Carmen. What are you reading?

Don't be rude. Answer the doctor.

I don't want to.

Is this test tube baby? Oh, pardon me.

Don't worry. I'm used to it.

Sorry for asking you.

You see, I'm thinking of doing
the same thing.

So am I.

TORAYA: Isn't it wonderful?

Don't be too sure.

This child is completely normal?

Yes, except she's a monster.

Don't say that!

She looks so bright.

She's no fool. But she really gets on my tits.

You're not serious.

That can happen with children.
They are only children...

A mother has to be patient.

The patience we would have...

That's what we're for.

-If I told you how it was...
-You can tell me.

I lived with a guy who wanted kids.
I couldn't have any.

This seemed the answer.

When I got home with the baby, he took off!

Bastard!

Now I'm on my own with the child.

So find someone else.

When? I work at the airport all day.

Surely with all those people
passing through...

And a lot of men really like test tube babies.

-Ciao, Sexilia. How are you?
-Wonderful!

Thanks to your father, I'm fertile.

Fertile? For what?

I'm sorry.

Don't apologize. I understand.
The poor girl isn't well.

She's quite a problem.
Call me if there's any news.

Have a good trip.

Come in.

Why are you so rude to the Empress?

Ex-empress.

She's always pleasant to you.

I don't like her, I've never liked her
and I won't pretend to.

How is your psychoanalyst?

She's very funny, really mad.

Is she good?

I don't know. She's different.

-Fine. I must go. I've got work to do. Bye.
-Bye.

(READING)

Vitopens. Firms and strengthens the penis.

Combats impotence or loss of
sex drive in the older man.

(BELL RINGING)

All this.

A coat.

Blue trousers.

A leather jacket.

And a short dress.

-Are you in a hurry for them?
-Yes, a bit.

They'll be ready in five days.

-No sooner.
-Okay. Bye.

Bye. Good day. Thank you.

You're gorgeous.

Go and buy some tea for me.

It has to be rabena. Don't forget.

I'll go now.

Bring me the tea.

Benzamuro.

Diminishes libido in mating season.

Neutralizes sex drive in larger animals.

Here's your tea, Dad.

-Darling?
-Yes.

Will you rub some cream on my back?

Coming.

Let's see, turn around a little.

That's it, just there. Easy.

Softly.

-Over here.
-Here?

It's a pity these aren't like
the wrinkles in trousers.

A touch of the iron,

and they're gone.

What do you do to stay so young?

Nothing.

Nothing? You always say that.

You always ask the same thing.

And you're only two years younger than me.

Oh, God, not again, Dad.

I've told you a thousand times
not to call me Dad.

Not the same old story.

-It's not right.
-Come here.

Dad, it's not right.

Either you're schizophrenic
or you do it to turn me on.

Let's go to our room.

No, I've got lots to do.

All the washing, the ironing...

-Do it later.
-Dad, this isn't the time.

You like that?

Little pervert!

I'm married to a woman
with two personalities.

But I love you whether you say
you're my daughter or my wife.

And if you had four personalities,

I'd love them all.

TORAYA: The son of the exiled Emperor of
Tyran in Madrid?

May I speak to Mohamed? I'm his aunt.

-Are you alone?
-Not anymore.

Your place?

I'd rather not. I live in a hotel.

Mohamed, I'm fertile at last.

MAN ON PHONE:
I was sure you'd manage it someday.

Well, I live with some friends.

That might be fun.

They're not gay?

No. They're medical students.

Okay, I'll settle for just you.

By the way, you have to do me
a very special favor.

I need some of the Emperor's semen.

Send it to me. I'll tell you how.

Come on.

Is Riza really in Madrid?

Yes. It's such a gay city,
he just had to be there.

-Do you know his address?
-No.

I would really like to see him.

Try to find out where he is
or how I can contact him.

Try the saunas, kinky bars,
you know the kind of place.

I must go. Someone's coming.
There are spies everywhere.

It's a bit untidy. Let's go to my room.

I like you more than I've liked anyone
in a long time.

(WATER RUNNING)

How nice you smell.

Who's that?

It's me, at a party,

dressed like the women of my country.

You're Tyrani?

Yes.

Where are you from? You look Arabian.

No, I'm English. But my mother is Moroccan.

You're leaving?

Yes. I've got a lot to do.

Another time?

No, I'm in a hurry.

Give me your phone number or your address.

I've forgotten them.

(MEN SPEAKING OUTSIDE)

Anyway, your friends have come back.

Do you think what it says in
the magazine is true?

If it is, we must be well prepared.

Why did you bring someone here?
If he's seen the guns...

I'm sorry.

Riza Niro is in Madrid.

Really?

We thought of kidnapping him.

That way, his father will have
to pay back what he stole.

-Do you have his address?
-No.

You'll have to smell him out.

I'll need something he's worn.

Our spy in Contadora
will send us something.

Preferably his address!

I doubt if he can,

but maybe some clothing.

(SCREAMING)

MAN: Enjoy it! Enjoy it more!

Look at him! Lust after him!

Get closer to the drill!

You want it. That's right. Try to lick it!

You like it, you like how it tastes.

-Got the drill, Pablo?
-Yes.

Great. Now, move over a bit.

That's it. Very good.

Say, "I deserve it."

Again. "I deserve it."

"I'm so bad. I'm so bad."

I'm bad. I'm wicked. Destroy me.

Now, Fabio, pick up the phone.
Ask him if you can make a call.

To a friend.

May I?

Yes, but be quick. Let's see what you say.

Hi, so-and-so...

So-and-so has a chat with you

and invites you to a cheap cafe

for a salad or something.

Better, a Cornish pasty.

You say, "Sweetie, I have to go.
There's a sadistic killer here.

"He's carving me up. If I survive,

"I'll tell you all the gory details."

Like that, and keep posing.

Sweetie, I have to go because
a sadist is carving me up,

and I have to wait till he's finished.

Good. Now, "If I survive..."

If I survive, we'll go to a cafe
to eat something really greasy.

Tripe and onions!

-That's it!
-Okay. So long.

That's it.

This way.

Go on smoking and enjoying it.

It excites you.

It really turns you on.

Now look at the drill as it goes through you.

Put the drill up to his neck...

Now, the final moment.

The last shot.

Give it all you've got as an actress, Fabio.

Marvelous! Great!

Pedro, can I take him away for a minute?

Fabio, a visitor for you.

-Hi, Johnny.
-What's with this get-up?

My sexy killer look for porno films.

You're so bad in a way.

Do you have a minute to speak with me?

-I have forever...
-Can we talk here?

...to love you

and destroy you with the kiss of death.

Look, I want to change my image.

-A complete change.
-No problem.

I'm the most sought after aesthetician

in the gutters of New York,
Los Angeles and Berlin.

Here is

the bible of hairstyles.

Parisian style.

Very flattering. Suitable for day and evening.

-For the lady...
-No, no. That's no use to me.

For the sporty, flirty type.

Not bad, but it's too much.

I want something simpler,

more modern, more...

"Simple" was never modern.

Modern is futuristic.
Futurism is always glitter.

I haven't much hair.

Something simple but colorful
would be best.

There are some freaky wigs,
in raffia or nylon.

But look what I have.

With this, I don't know...

A crazy color from London,
maybe something shocking.

I'll leave it up to you. Do what you want.

I'll make you the Queen of Halloween.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Here they are, the greatest.

Not much of a crowd.

No, but they're very enthusiastic. Just ask.

Do you like them?

They're great.

What do you think?

-They're lousy.
-She's jealous.

Where are the toilets?

-There.
-Where?

Wait here.

Listen, The Melancholics can't play.

Them are going on in their place.

Introduce them, Pedro.

Okay, The Melancholics can't appear tonight

due to problems involving
drugs, corruption of minors,

white slave trading
and a few other misdemeanors.

Instead we have a group you really hate.

You've heard them on the radio.

It's Them.

But before that, my friend and I
are going to improvise a little song.

So if the disc-jockey could
give us some funky background,

we'll sing it right now. Okay. Let's go.

(SINGING) One

One plus one!

Two

Solid two!

Three

Three Dog Night

Four

Four Seasons

Five

Jackson Five

Six!

With my sex

Seven

7-Up

Eight

After Eight

Nine

9 to 5

Ten

Bo Derek!
Yeah

Suck it to me
Suck it to me, baby

Suck it to me
Suck it to me now

After dinner

Before dinner

After lunch

Before lunch

After breakfast

Before breakfast

After flan

Before flan

You want it

You got it

You want it

You got it

You want money, you want vices
You want drugs

Drugs

Several drugs

Drugs

-Coke...
-Tones you up

-Heroin...
-Hooks you

-Grass...
-Gets you high

-Bustaid...
-Relaxes you

-Dexedrine...
-Blows your mind

-Sosegon...
-Hallucinates

-Opium...
-Knocks you out

-Angel dust...
-Is a must

It's not on. We don't want to play with Them.

You get the idea?

We've got long memories.

The Sonovox guys want to record you.

Record us?

Fame!

Hey, bitch, hands off my boyfriend!

Eusebio, my love!

Quick, get him to the hospital!

-He has to play.
-Screw that.

Where's the toilet?

We're going that way. Come on.

Looking for your warmth
I went down to the sewers

And the rats gave me their love

Rat love, sewer love

Drain love, rubbish love

I only do it for money

-Can't you sing?
-Lost my voice.

And you?

I'm shy.

And you?

I'm the Julie Andrews type.

Cut it out!

We'll manage something.

Great jacket!

-You like it?
-I love it.

Want to try it on?

Wonderful make-up!

-You like cosmetics?
-Love them.

-They're mine.
-Yours?

-You play with this?
-No, we make up with it.

What's this? Blusher?

Do you know The Big Windfall?

Sure. I heard the tape at Fabio's.

Great, kid. I've had a good idea.

(SINGING)

I live in a permanent sale

Sex, luxury and paranoias

That's my lot

Who am I?

And where am I going?

Where am I coming from?
What am I doing?

Where's he coming from?
What's he doing?

Great bargain, great bargain
I'm from Teheran

Squid here, anchovies there

My life is a vice

And it pisses me off

So I move around

And hang about along the way

Show yourself, I'm here

I'm looking for you

Look for me

If it doesn't screw you up

It's a pain in the ass

That was bloody great!

We're flying!

You can replace Eusebio.

-Me?
-Yeah.

I never thought I'd be a star.

-What's your name?
-Johnny.

You were great. They were wild about you.

Even the Sonovox guys.
They're going to sign you up.

And the girls too.

Those bitches?

Yeah, but they've got something.

What a success!

We have to celebrate.

Let's go for a drink.

Your place? Okay.

Coming to a party?

At Garces'.

Let's go.

What's up?

(MOANING)

Leave it, guys.

What's up?

I'm not in the mood.

Don't go.

Haven't you had enough?

Shit, don't go!

Is something wrong?

Maybe it was all too much.

-Let's leave it.
-Okay.

-May I come in?
-Of course.

You must be wondering why I'm here.

I'm glad you came.

After the concert I went to an orgy,

but I kept thinking of you.

It's crazy.

I was the same. I couldn't sleep all night.

Really?

I couldn't get you out of my mind.

Get into bed. You'll get cold.

You too.

Just for a bit.

I'm pleased you came.

I'm exhausted.

Let's go to sleep.

Mm-hmm?

Sexi, I want to see you again!

Me too.

If you live here, it'll be difficult.

We don't get on with Santi.

I don't live here. I'm staying at a hotel.

Great. But don't say anything to Them.

It'll get complicated
and I'm not letting you get away.

It won't be easy.

I'm going away soon.

I don't live here.

Where do you live? I'll go with you.

On the island of Contadora.

On an island? I hate the sea, the beach,

it drives me crazy.

Can't we go somewhere else?

My family lives there.

And so?

I'm the son of the Emperor of Tyran.

You're Riza Niro?

I knew you looked familiar.

Nobody knows. But I don't want to lie to you.

I'll go anywhere you want.

But your family? The group?

My father couldn't care less.

As for the girls, I'll think of something.

But you mustn't say anything to Them.

I'll lie to them.

Don't ever lie to me.

I couldn't.

That's okay.

Stop a minute.

That's my dress!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

What a nerve!

It's the first time.

You only had to ask.

I didn't think.

I've got a taxi. I'll take you home.

-Come on!
-It's not necessary.

Don't be silly.

Get in.

You're very kind.

I'm a real fan of yours.

I go to all your concerts.

I know all your songs by heart.

I love imitating you.

That's why I wore your dress.

Forget about that. So you like music?

It's the only thing that makes life bearable.

You don't like your life?

No! I'd swap it with anyone.

Why?

I've got problems.

We've all got problems.

I've got traumas.

Tell me. It can't be that bad.

My mother left us a few months ago.

Now I live alone with my father
who has lost his nerves.

At times, he confuses me with my mother.

He rapes me.

-He rapes you?
-Yes.

You let him?

You don't know how he gets.

I don't know what to do.

Maybe you like it.

No, I don't! But, you know,
you can get used to anything.

He does it often?

Every other day.

-Brute! He never misses?
-No.

He takes an aphrodisiac every other day.

And that day he rapes me.

Give him an antidote.

That's what I do!
But it doesn't have any effect.

I have a friend who's a chemist.

We could call him.

-I've ironed your shirt.
-Good.

Don't forget your cotton vests.

It can get cold there.

-Look after the budgies.
-Don't worry.

And listen in case they sing. It's important.

I'm going to Oslo for a few days.
Can I bring you anything?

From Oslo? No. What about you?

-Me? No.
-Don't bring anything.

Well, I'm going to pack.

Make some coffee.
The girls are coming to rehearse.

And some fruit juice too.

You'll stay?

Just for a little while.

What a pity. Nobody phoned you today.

Not even once.

Oh, well.

I'll make some fruit juice. Cherry, raspberry...

A cocktail. With papaya.

But there aren't any papayas in Spain.
I'll put in bananas.

Wow!

What pretty walls.
And such gorgeous colors.

They all go so well together.

Just look, pink.

It's beautiful. Oh, and your father...

He's so good looking!

Women like him.

Really? And your mother doesn't mind?

She died a long time ago.

I'm sorry.

-Is that your bathrobe?
-Yes.

-Hi, Paco. It's Sexi.
-Hi, Sexi. What's new?

Look, I've a friend here
who's got a bit of a problem.

Her father takes aphrodisiacs
and screws her every other day.

Do you know of an antidote?

What does he take?

Hold on.

What does your father take?

Vitopens.

That's dynamite. There is no antidote.

I think she gives him one.

Ask her what it is.

Hold on.

What do you give him?

Benzamuro.

That mixture is lethal.

And it makes you paranoid.
She must stop giving it to him.

Okay. I'll tell her. I'll call you soon.

I hope so.

Listen, it's the mixture
that's putting him crazy.

Really?

Unless you want him
jumping on you every day.

No way!

I'm taking this off.

Queti, Angustias, Nana.

-So, how are you?
-Tired, but happy.

I'm glad.

You're a musician?

No, I'm a fan.

One of my fans. Stop that.
It's driving me crazy.

I'd really like to be a singer like her.

-Try it. It's great.
-Really?

When I started drumming,
I had real hang-ups.

Not anymore.

What hang-ups?

I had enormous thighs.

And brittle nails.

And dry lips.

I get wind when I eat and then I fart.

Those can all be cured.

First, the lips.

That would be great because

I don't kiss, I just scrape.

Try this.

Cocoa butter, 10 grams.

Castor oil, 3 grams.

Extract of cato, 1 grams.

Two drops of birch oil.

And last, 5 grams of badiana essence.

Rub it on and there you are.

Where did you learn all that?

At home. My father has loads of problems.

He buys all the beauty magazines.
I read them...

So, if you want any advice...

Yeah, make me ugly.

Give me some brains.

I'll give you some gum.

Mint?

Mint flavored. Electric and rubber as well.

Stop it. No. I don't want any.

(LAUGHING)

Come on, Miss Know-It-All.

I must give you something for your thighs.

Yes. And for the wind.

That's my biggest hang-up.

I'm not surprised.

Do five knee bends every morning
in front of the window.

Naked, if possible.

I've wonderful news.

Them are going to cut a record.

Some news!

It's good news.

Sonovox is nothing special but it's a start.

We know...

-You're taking it very well.
-What did you expect?

We're thrilled.

Don't you hate them anymore?

No way.

I have to go.

I'll call you at the shop.

Great. And I'll return this.

Don't worry about it.

If this works, you get a prize.

Be careful with her. She's a nymphomaniac.

She was in the group for a while.

We got rid of her.
She was only interested in screwing.

Now she's in Las Ex with those two.

They like to make our life a misery.

They're just bad news.

Hi, Eusebio. How's your leg?

I hear you're going to make a record.

Did you give me the push
because I was lame?

I don't sing with my leg.

Sonovox prefers Johnny.

They heard him at the concert.

Sorry.

You bastards! I'd like to smash your faces in!

Eusebio, be careful.

I told you they'd give you the boot some day.

Calm down!

You watch it, faggot!

You be careful next time
you're crossing the road.

Don't touch me!

Eusebio, let's get out of here.

This isn't over yet!

Right, we're just starting!

Know something?

I'm pleased.

You were with them three years
and never got a penny.

What if I had tried to be a singer?

We'll never get anywhere this way.

We're not kids anymore.
I want to get married.

Know what you should do?

Study information science. It's the new thing.

What the hell?

I'm sorry.

You'll never believe me...

So try me and we'll see.

I've got a highly developed sense of smell.

Something abnormal.

I'm looking for a friend,
and one of you smells like him.

Are you putting me on?

Leave it. He's out of it.

What are you doing?

Your hand smells like him. Tell me,

who have you touched tonight?

What's your friend's name?

I don't know.

Okay, I've had enough of this shit.

Fuck off!

Our spy in Contadora
has sent us a shirt of Riza's.

He couldn't get his address.

You must help us.

Don't depend on my nose. It's blocked.

-Have you a cold?
-No.

I'm in love.

-What did you say?
-"I'm in love."

I didn't tell you before.

When I'm in love,
the smell of that person saturates me.

I can't smell anyone else.

I'm saturated by the guy from the other day.

This is too much.

You know what this kidnapping
means for Tyran?

I've got my own problems.

Your gay little affairs
come after a nation's future.

Not for me.

You're sick.

That's why we need him. And his nose.

It's easier for him to find Riza.

He's gay too,

goes to the same places, the same toilets.

Let's leave it till tomorrow.

But that's him!

It's him!

Dad, I'm going shopping.

Don't be long. We've got a load of work.

Let's go before he reads the note.

I have a taxi waiting, come on!

-You're sure about this?
-Yes.

Here's the case with my clothes.
I'll come to see you.

Call me when you want.
And don't worry. Everything's paid.

Great.

-Are you nervous?
-No, excited.

How do you feel?

Wonderful. I'm on top of the world.

It's almost too good. It scares me a bit.

Why? You've so much experience with men.

Yeah, maybe. But it doesn't help much.

I want to be different with him.

-Is he good in bed?
-I don't know.

You haven't screwed him?

No. I don't want it to be
like with all the others.

But surely he must want to.

Don't say he hasn't tried.

Now you mention it, no.
Maybe he doesn't fancy me.

Oh, come on, nonsense.

You've got him hot for it.

But since you've gotten so cool...

Yeah. I told him from the start
we should respect each other.

That's an old trick! You really have changed.

So have you!

OUR LADY OF BEAUTY CLINIC
PLASTIC SURGERY

That's fantastic.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

We need everything
but we don't want anything.

Just have a look.

It'll only take a minute.

That's all? Okay, start talking.

These medals are made of Zirum.

It's a cosmic metal.

I don't understand. I'm not educated.

I thought not. It's not your fault.

Thanks.

Zirum channels the positive vibrations

emitted by the stars.

Imagine that!

You've been influenced
by the stars all your life.

And I never knew!

Probably you've just picked up
negative vibrations.

That's for sure.

Exactly. So you should do something...

Like buy a medal?

Or two. Your luck will change totally.

My love life?

Will be a dream.

And work?

Work? You work?

You'll have a stack of money
without lifting a finger.

Your minute's up.

You won't buy anything

for a poor relative?

No, nor for a rich one.

-Angel!
-What are you doing here?

I live here. That was my mother.

You look fabulous. You've really changed.

I was just a kid when you knew me.

Now I'm a woman.

And how!

Thank you.

You going out?

To buy some ribbons for the hats.

-What do you do?
-I'm a salesman.

Will you come with me?

-Take the elevator?
-Yes.

-Good afternoon.
-MAN: Good afternoon.

-You don't have dry lips now.
-Nor brittle nails.

You've got thinner.

Just for the record,

I don't get wind, my stomach
doesn't swell and I don't fart.

Am I forgiven?

Maybe.

We'll see.

We should go out again.

And the group?

They don't have to know.

And Sexi?

I'll be silent as the grave.

Kiss them. They're as smooth as silk.

They're all yours.

We talk a lot about love,

but never about sex.

Can't you wait a few days without screwing?

Of course.

It's not that.

It's the first time I've been with a guy

without getting screwed or stoned
and I feel good.

I must tell you.

-I've had some affairs...
-I don't want to know.

I'd get jealous.

The past doesn't matter.

I must have had more affairs than you.

You know something...

Let's think of the future.

The future, that's just the problem.

I can only offer you
a life full of luxury and uncertainty.

Forget about that.

Enjoy making the record and then we'll see.

Would you like to be Empress?

It would be different.

Mother wants us to go back.

It must be easier than managing
a crew like Angustias and Nana.

-Shall I prepare the bed?
-No, thanks.

TORAYA: Come in.

-Shall I prepare the bed?
-Yes.

Am I beautiful?

Oh, yes, just like in the magazines.

Long live glitter

Shiny platform shoes

Tight silver hot-pants

A lamé jacket

And a whip

To beat yourself with

Looking for your warmth
I went down to the sewers

And the rats gave me their love

Rat love

Sewer love, gutter love

Rubbish love

You never call me. I'm finished with you.

You can call me as often as you want.

Tell that to your husband.

You've had the best of me.

And the worst!

A woman like me gives all of herself.

This is it.

Stop a minute.

Darling, it's not too late to start again.

I'm leaving you back where I found you.

This time I won't go into the shop.

Just as if I never knew you.

Okay, it's your loss.

You bastard! Don't you dare call me.

Likewise. Drive on!

Darling,

I've come back.

Remedios, it's you.

My darling, at last.

I couldn't live without you.
And our little girl?

She ran away.

Well, that's normal.

Better to do it at her age than at mine.

But you've come back.

It's sad when your wife
and daughter both walk out.

Especially when you're getting old.

Don't say that. You get younger every day.

I looked after myself
in case you ever came back.

Poor baby. How good you are.

I'll never leave you again.

I promise.

And soon our little girl will come to see us.

She'll be so happy and grown up, you'll see.

If you say so...

Hello. Let's see what you've brought.

You've gotten so pretty.

And so slim.

Susana, what a coincidence!

Not at all. I wanted to see you.

I can't stop. I'm in a hurry.

Please, have a coffee at least.

All right, just a coffee.

I wanted to talk about Sexi.

She doesn't come to see me anymore.

Maybe she doesn't need to.
She seems a lot better.

How can you tell? You don't know her.

You've never tried to.

Have you come to give me a lecture?

No, I came to talk to you about sex.

Let's go to bed.

To be honest,

I've never been interested in sex.

There's something obscene
about the union of two bodies.

That's why I've dedicated myself
to artificial insemination.

How can someone so elegant,

so self-assured,

with eyes like yours,

with a voice like yours, talk such rubbish?

You've never screwed properly.

But I can show you you're wrong.

-Tell me.
-Please...

Tell me, how do you really like it?

Any particular way? You can tell me.
I'm a psychologist.

You can trust me. I'm not narrow minded.

-Anything goes.
-Waiter, check please.

I like everything...

-Confide in me.
-That's enough.

-We've said enough.
-No, no. Calm down.

It was a scientific joke.

Wait. It's just that
I'm a compulsive researcher.

We can stick to theory
if you don't like practice.

-We could work together.
-Please...

But the girl...

Thank you.

She still has problems. We can help her.

-You and I.
-Just leave us alone.

A telegram...

Riza staying at your hotel, Room 3.

Impossible get hold Emperor's semen.

Sarah furious you're fertile.

-Don't you know me?
-I don't think so.

I think you soon will.

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

-What are you doing here?
-And you?

I asked you first.

-Can't you guess?
-No.

Isn't it obvious?

-You bitch!
-How dare you?

You, the easiest lay in the country.

Not now. Riza's love has changed that.

Riza's love?

Yes, we're engaged.

How dreadful.

I cannot imagine that.

But why did you do it?

You've got money, beauty, fame.

What do you need?

I've owed his father, and the Tyranis,
something for years.

Toraya always gets even.

You can't give up.

History has treated me badly.

I have to prove they were wrong.

By screwing my fiancé?

He's a Zahlevi. That's enough.

Riza should have had better taste.

I was the first woman in his life!

-You're crazy!
-Ask him.

-I wasn't expecting you so soon.
-Obviously.

Did you really say that to her?

Just let me explain.

It's not what you think.

We said we would never lie to each other!

Sexi... I love you.

It's all lies!

You should have said you wanted to fuck.

How stupid. All this talk about love.

Is this love?

I'm through with it.

(RINGING DOORBELL)

What way is that to knock? Oh, it's you.

I knew you'd come back.

The sun...

The Spanish sun.

Wait here.

I'll be back.

I'm sorry, Alicia. We have to stop now.

Sexi is worse than you.

Worse? I can't believe it!

-Please sit down.
-I don't want to.

I should just jump out the window.
Screw psychologists!

Take this pill.

Rest up. Try to sleep a little.

Sleep? And who'll go to the airport?
Bloody shrinks!

The sun...

It's very hot.

It's scorching.

Where are you?

On the beach.

He's beside me.

We're playing.

Make a little hole

to breathe through.

What is it?

Riza, let's play hide and seek.

Try to find us!

Why are you so cruel? Just like your father.

Don't push me away. Don't you like me?

Riza, you could have been my son.

Don't go, please.

Come on. Leave her. Come and play.

Don't go.

He likes her better!

-Father, come here.
-Not now.

There's a lady...

I can't come now.

I have to talk to this gentleman.

Stop it.

Do you want to play Husbands and Wives?

I want to play too.

I'll be everyone's wife.

Life is so unfair.

The phone hasn't stopped ringing.

First, a friend who's waiting
for you in the corner bar.

When did she call?

Just now. Ten minutes ago.

And a Manuel Angel rang.

He'll meet you in Orellana St.
to take some photos.

What a state you're in.

Turn round.

And a foreign boy rang several times.

What did he say?

That he was rehearsing and it was urgent.

And Mr. Angel

wanted to dine with you...

And little Caroline, your friend from school...

Hi. So you're out.

I thought you'd never get here.

What's wrong? Tired?

Ask for something simple because I'm tired.

Thanks, I don't want anything.

What's wrong?

I saw Johnny this morning.

I didn't tell you.

He's the son of the Emperor of Tyran.

You're kidding!

Let's go and change in the toilets.

People are staring at us here.

I'll tell you everything.

I had decided never to see him again.

But now that I know about
Toraya and the beach,

I don't know.

You have to explain it to him.

It was like history repeating itself.

You can't let Toraya win again.

No, but why did he have to do it?

Could he not go a few days
without screwing?

What difference does one more lay make?

What matters is that you love him.

Explain it all to him.

Would you prefer she went back to Tyran

and tried to get him and the throne back?

Yes, that's true.

Don't make it easy for her.

And we can't both stay here like two clones.

You're right. We can't turn back now.

I'll go and see him.

The keys are in the jacket.

Take the case.

You have to get some photos taken at 5:00.

Hurry up.

How do you think I look?

Very pretty, miss.

-I don't look odd?
-No more than usual.

I have to get some photos taken
for the record.

Say something nice to your father.
He seems upset.

I've no time. I'm in a hurry.

Do go and see him anyway.

Where is he?

In his office. Third door on the right.

Of course. What am I thinking of?

She really does have a bad memory.

After 20 years here, she should remember.

You've been shut in here for hours.
Have some tea.

What's up?

I've never told anyone
but I feel very frustrated.

But why?

There's no joy in anything I do.

The test-tube baby is a monster.

The budgies don't sing.

They're not perfect.

So my work isn't perfect.

Let me think.

If they don't sing,

it's either because they're old or sad.

They're only a month old,

so they must be sad.

So what do I do?

Give them an antibiotic vitamin complex.

I happen to have one here.

You're right. I never thought of it.

You should take some. You work too hard.

Your psychologist was right.
I don't really know you.

I have to go out now,

but we could have dinner tonight.

Fine. Where?

I'll cook for us here.

Can you cook?

Yes, very well.

And I don't want to see you like this again.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

This has been a great experience.

But I have to leave.

What are you talking about?
You've just made the record.

It's dangerous for me to stay.

For you, too.

He's always hidden something from us.

Yes, you're right.

But before I go, I want to give you a present.

It wasn't necessary.

What's this for?

For the cover of our record.

-You're going to make a record?
-Yes.

Why come here?

We want our light to shine out.

Oh, yeah?

You were at the Carolina the other day?

-Yes. What did you think of it?
-Awful.

You've got a big mouth.

If you don't shut it, I'll bust up your shop...

And your mouth.

What a couple of tarts.

Sorry. I was held up.

What happened to your voice?

I've got a cold.

Give it to that bitch.

Look who's here.

Leave them!

This is just right for the sitting room.

Bibi, look at this! It's great, crazy!

Pick whatever you want.

-Really?
-Sure.

I'd like the glass to really stand out,

to glitter.

You know, vulgar.

Yeah, it might look a bit like that.

But that doesn't matter. I like a bit of glitter.

Riza Niro leaves Panama
for a gay life in Madrid.

Reward given for information
on his whereabouts.

Call 261-84-30 at any time.

They're all so nice I can't decide.

Isn't that Johnny, the fag?

Could be.

Isn't that my replacement?

It looks a bit like him.

-Yeah, it does. Why?
-It's Riza Niro.

The son of the Emperor of Tyran?

He says Them's singer is Riza Niro.

Great! Think of the publicity!

He doesn't look anything like him.

But look at him!

-Have you a phone?
-Downstairs.

I have to make a call.

My fiancé first.

Let me go!

-Tart!
-Tart yourself!

I'm calling about the ad.

Riza Niro is playing in a rock group.

Who are you?

The money...

Islamic students? Yes, they're called Them.

How much is the reward?

(WHISTLES)

-Okay, the address is...
-Don't tell them!

220, Bravo Murillo.

-But what about the reward?
-I know what I'm doing.

We'll never get there with your leg.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hang on a minute.

Are Them practicing?

Yes. Tell them they've got a call.
Save me a walk.

Who is it?

-Yes?
-Is Sexi there?

Queti? It's me. What's up?

Eusebio's blown on Riza to the Islamics.

They are coming there!

Get out of there!

I'll tell him. So long.

Let's get a move on.

I'm meeting my father.

What's this with your father?

It's a case of filial love.

Let's go.

You've been found out!
The Islamics are coming!

It had to happen.

What's wrong?

Nothing. I'm Riza Niro and they're after me.

There's no time to lose.

Let's all go to Contadora.

We've got enough money.

Your passports?

-Got them here.
-Come on.

-And the record?
-And the launch?

Our work?

Don't worry. I've money.

The Caribbean calls. Let's go.

May I go with you to the airport?

To the airport?

You're coming with me as we planned.

If not, I stay here.

-Where are you going?
-To the airport.

Don't tell anyone.

I must go. The laxative is starting to work.

-Where are Them?
-They've gone.

-Where?
-Airport.

-All of them?
-Yes.

-Long ago?
-Yes. Let me past.

I'll be back.

-Are Them here?
-No.

-What's wrong?
-Where?

The airport. I can't hold on.

Have you seen some Islamics?

They look like Arabs. Very dark.

I see a lot of dark people here.

I can't hold on. Let me past.

I've come to interview Them...

(FARTING)

-Where are they?
-At the airport.

-You can go now.
-It doesn't matter.

I must explain.
Before I knew you, I preferred men.

Not anymore, but my past worried me.

I was frightened.

You wouldn't let me explain.

But that doesn't justify Toraya,
as far as I know. She's not a man.

She asked me to go to bed with her.
I didn't hesitate.

She was the first woman I've had.

But not the woman of my life.

I was practicing.

You're experienced.
I didn't want to disappoint you.

You didn't have much faith in me.

I used to be a nymphomaniac.

So I heard.

But now I just want you.

I have to tell you something.
This is all Toraya's fault.

But why? I told you...

All our problems, my phobia about the sun...

No. I just used her.

No! Don't you remember 15 years ago
on the Costa del Sol?

(OVER PA)

Passengers for Contadora...

Please board gate 4.

(YELPS)

Contadora?

The flight is leaving in five minutes.

-Where can I buy a ticket?
-I don't know. Filthy brute!

Fags!

This way. I can smell him.

(ALL WHOOPING)

Where are they going?

To Contadora.

Panama?

The plane's leaving now.

-Call the pilot.
-Why?

-There's a bomb on board.
-Too late!

And people with contagious diseases.

Passengers know the risks they're taking.

That's our flight.

Too late.

Have you seen four young guys?

They've gone to Panama.

One is Riza Niro.

And I'm the Queen of Sheba.
Are you taking the piss?

Did they all go?

Yes, all of them.

There's a bomb on the plane
and people with the plague.

That all?

I'll never forgive Angel.

Where are the Islamics?

That's them, on my left.
Say something to them.

They're from Madrid.

-You're back with Gonzalo?
-Yeah, for a while now, but...

Well, I'm going out with Angel again.

But Eusebio, they look very dark.

Very Arab. It must be them.

No, it's not!

-I'm going to speak to them.
-Stay here!

Shut up for once.

What are we here for?

Have you seen a tall, dark guy, Arab looking?

-You mean Riza Niro?
-Yes.

I have to interview him.

I'm his manager.

They've gone to Panama.

Fuck!

We're always too late.

But that's Toraya! Aren't you Toraya?

I'm Princess Toraya.

That's the ex-empress Toraya.

Just what we need. Go and get the car.

May we take your photo with the girls?

They're going to be famous.

You're the Islamics?

You spoke to me on the phone.

-What about the money?
-There is none.

Why not? It's not my fault Niro got away.

Give me the money.

Just keep quiet and you won't get hurt.

Eusebio, are you angry?

No.

They've got a gun.

What are you talking about?

The Islamics.

-Those ones?
-Yes.

Eusebio, you let everyone make a fool of you.

It's always the same.

You don't understand.
It's too complicated for you.

Are you going out with Them?

Boy, you're fast!

With all my ideas, and this write-up...

What publicity!

Look, stop mucking around with
our feelings.

Stars don't have any.

They're a luxury you can't afford.

Well, I'm a woman first. So are you. Tell him!

I'm a woman!

But I'd like to be a star as well.

What a pity about the write-up.

Don't worry. You'll soon have a real scoop.

What's that?

You'll see.

My wallet!

It's been stolen.

Wait a moment.

I've got everything.

Excuse me. I have a message for you.

-From Riza Niro?
-Yes.

I waited until you were alone to tell you.

-Come with me.
-Let's hurry.

It's not far.

(SCREAMS)

Help! Help!

Susana was right.

I talked about sex
without knowing what it was.

Believe it or not, so did I.

SUSANA ON PHONE: Hello, Sexi.

Susana, I can't talk. I'm in bed with my father.

In bed? Are you joking?

Not at all. You were right.
I was in love with him.

He hates sex. He told me so.

You're mistaken.
Our family has no more sex problems.

I must apologize to him.

-Yes. You were out of line.
-Let me speak to him.

Just leave us alone.

I'm a good friend, but I make a better enemy.

(SEXI AND RIZA MOANING)

RIZA: They'll hear us.

Don't worry. They're all asleep.

Shouldn't we do it in the toilet?

No, it's better here. Just like in Emmanuelle I.

Darling, you're the first man
I've screwed in mid-air.