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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,344 In the beginning, God created heaven. 2 00:01:25,554 --> 00:01:29,541 Then He said, "Let there be light!" ... 3 00:01:31,545 --> 00:01:34,101 and there was light. 4 00:01:39,893 --> 00:01:43,244 Then God created the Earth. 5 00:01:43,447 --> 00:01:46,116 And He said it was a good thing. 6 00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:56,259 He created the seas and oceans, and filled them with fish. 7 00:01:59,144 --> 00:02:04,449 He separated Heaven and Earth, and said it was a good thing. 8 00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:11,162 And then he went on to create his masterpiece ... 9 00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:14,071 Man. 10 00:02:57,456 --> 00:03:02,568 Thank you for having created me in your image! 11 00:03:04,964 --> 00:03:08,398 Indeed, the Almighty realized that His child ... 12 00:03:08,699 --> 00:03:11,504 had not been created as perfect as He had hoped. 13 00:03:11,714 --> 00:03:13,747 He attributed the error to fatigue ... 14 00:03:13,751 --> 00:03:17,620 And decided to try again after a day of rest. 15 00:03:20,661 --> 00:03:24,534 The second attempt went almost perfectly... 16 00:03:24,974 --> 00:03:28,245 He observed a big difference. 17 00:03:28,569 --> 00:03:32,617 For the newcomer, the Lord created a new paradise on earth... 18 00:03:32,623 --> 00:03:35,510 and gave him a mate. 19 00:03:52,213 --> 00:03:55,461 But... the... 20 00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,998 Alright, fine... 21 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:11,140 Sorry, but you took from me one of my... ribs... over here... 22 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:16,730 To make a woman for you. Turn around, she is yours. 23 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:50,043 Except to take the forbidden fruit ... 24 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:53,153 the Lord gave man all freedoms... 25 00:04:53,401 --> 00:04:56,945 Even to name all the things created by Him. 26 00:04:57,155 --> 00:05:00,460 - Flo-wers. - Flo-wers. 27 00:05:07,939 --> 00:05:09,828 Flo... wers... 28 00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:16,804 Straw-berries. 29 00:05:35,977 --> 00:05:38,168 Watch out. 30 00:05:41,329 --> 00:05:43,600 Sh-it. 31 00:05:44,364 --> 00:05:46,431 Sh-it. 32 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:52,260 - Fan-to-zzi. - Excuse me, but why..? 33 00:05:53,590 --> 00:05:56,743 Shit... Fan... to... zzi... 34 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:48,543 Now what was done, was done. 35 00:06:48,747 --> 00:06:53,211 If you are ashamed, you could cover youself with a leaf of ficus ... 36 00:06:53,979 --> 00:06:55,887 A thorny one. 37 00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:01,426 The apple... 38 00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:18,308 Fantozzi, You disobeyed! 39 00:08:18,851 --> 00:08:23,474 There is no place for you in the Garden of Eden anymore. 40 00:08:23,684 --> 00:08:25,871 That whore, Eve! 41 00:08:28,636 --> 00:08:32,942 Thus occurred the first eviction in the History of the World. 42 00:08:39,140 --> 00:08:43,809 Sorry, Sir ... but how come they don't...? 43 00:08:44,013 --> 00:08:46,569 No! They are different! 44 00:08:46,769 --> 00:08:49,345 You, man, will work by the sweat of your brow... 45 00:08:49,346 --> 00:08:52,441 for them too, for all eternity. 46 00:08:52,959 --> 00:08:55,674 Now get out! Go away. 47 00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,431 Very huma... You are most divine... 48 00:08:58,631 --> 00:09:01,300 Go forth and multiply... 49 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,131 as little as possible! 50 00:09:10,733 --> 00:09:12,527 Why..? 51 00:10:16,513 --> 00:10:19,000 Screw it! 52 00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:22,599 Realizing he is an intelligent animal ... 53 00:10:22,704 --> 00:10:25,653 he tried to improve his hellish life... 54 00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,892 for him and his fellows. 55 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,843 Hop! Hop! 56 00:12:53,237 --> 00:12:56,672 As time passed, things for Fantozzi... 57 00:12:56,872 --> 00:12:58,723 went from bad to worse. 58 00:12:58,828 --> 00:13:01,622 - Ugo! - Dad! 59 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:05,416 - Ugo! - Dad! 60 00:13:05,898 --> 00:13:07,692 Ugo! 61 00:13:09,253 --> 00:13:11,742 Where are you, dad? 62 00:13:15,443 --> 00:13:18,556 - Dad! - Here he is, Mariαngela! 63 00:13:19,557 --> 00:13:21,968 - Who is it? - Ughino, it is me, your Pina! 64 00:13:21,974 --> 00:13:24,420 - How so? - Don't you remember? 65 00:13:27,665 --> 00:13:30,857 I had a horrible morning. 66 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:35,405 I got beat up by 15,000 people. They were Persians. 67 00:13:35,413 --> 00:13:37,699 Stop thinking about it. It's over now. 68 00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:39,763 - Everything? - Let's go home. 69 00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:41,395 - Are you sure?. - Let's go home. 70 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:44,872 - Yes, but... are we walking?. - Yes. - Because I... 71 00:13:45,079 --> 00:13:48,986 - I can barely stand. - I'll help you. Lean on me. 72 00:13:50,291 --> 00:13:52,066 Give me your paw! 73 00:13:52,547 --> 00:13:55,296 No, I mean your... your hand ... 74 00:13:57,939 --> 00:14:01,921 Lean. 75 00:14:09,362 --> 00:14:13,634 That day, Fantozzi finally received from his superiors... 76 00:14:13,636 --> 00:14:17,300 A job that would promise great satisfaction. 77 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:22,099 - Soldier, you who are volunteering! - Eh? Volunteer? Let's just say it's more of... 78 00:14:22,622 --> 00:14:24,974 Run to Athens and tell them that the Battle of Marathon is won. 79 00:14:24,978 --> 00:14:29,289 - I'm sorry, but that's 42 kilometers away. - And 195 meters. 80 00:14:29,492 --> 00:14:33,876 Ah, well, then... that's different! 81 00:14:34,085 --> 00:14:36,276 - Whoa. - I'll get going. 82 00:14:38,199 --> 00:14:39,910 Won't you even kiss Mariangela goodbye? 83 00:14:39,911 --> 00:14:41,109 A kiss? 84 00:14:41,913 --> 00:14:45,519 Listen, I'll do that at a later time. 85 00:14:46,426 --> 00:14:49,638 I'll explain later. Have mercy! 86 00:14:51,498 --> 00:14:53,531 Don't run, Dad! 87 00:15:27,604 --> 00:15:29,989 Water, water..! 88 00:15:31,957 --> 00:15:33,673 Water..! 89 00:15:34,354 --> 00:15:37,386 Water..! 90 00:15:40,425 --> 00:15:42,299 Water!! 91 00:15:57,339 --> 00:16:00,626 Who is it?? Who rang the doorbell? Who called? 92 00:16:01,473 --> 00:16:05,442 Athens! Athens! 93 00:16:06,042 --> 00:16:07,739 ATHENS - 20 KM 94 00:16:08,942 --> 00:16:12,412 Oh, Zeus... Oh, mommy... Oh, Zeus... Oh, mommy... 95 00:16:12,696 --> 00:16:14,729 A chariot! I'm saved! 96 00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:17,648 - Excuse me! Please, charioteer! - Yes? 97 00:16:17,848 --> 00:16:21,353 - Are you going to Athens? - No, sorry, soldier. I'm going to Delphi. 98 00:16:21,363 --> 00:16:24,430 - But... excuse me, are you by chance going to Athens? - Yes, why? 99 00:16:25,716 --> 00:16:28,086 Do me a favor, since you're headed there... 100 00:16:28,093 --> 00:16:31,227 take this column to the Senate for me, alright? 101 00:16:31,428 --> 00:16:33,858 - No! - And make haste! Bye! 102 00:16:34,064 --> 00:16:38,209 How considerate! I am very unfortunate... 103 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,033 For pity's sake! The entrance to Athens..? 104 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,532 - Right ahead. - Ah, yes! 105 00:17:09,171 --> 00:17:13,044 Oh, mommy... Oh, Zeus... By Artemis! 106 00:17:13,564 --> 00:17:15,870 Mercy! Mercy! 107 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,194 No, wait! Do not help him, or he'll be disqualified. 108 00:17:20,194 --> 00:17:22,463 What the hell are you talking about..? 109 00:17:30,379 --> 00:17:32,770 Just 20 more... 110 00:17:33,774 --> 00:17:35,167 10 ... 111 00:17:35,371 --> 00:17:38,995 Just 3 more... Just four ... 112 00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:42,612 Just 1 ... And I'm here ... 113 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,312 Speak! 114 00:17:45,676 --> 00:17:49,090 Wait... a moment... 115 00:17:49,091 --> 00:17:53,339 I bring news from Marathon. 116 00:17:53,584 --> 00:17:55,537 - What happened? - Where? 117 00:17:55,741 --> 00:18:01,170 - At Marathon! Tell me! - This... uh... I don't remember... 118 00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:07,114 - How come you can't remember? - It slipped my mind. 119 00:18:07,323 --> 00:18:09,992 - He can't remember... - Well, did we win? 120 00:18:10,199 --> 00:18:16,737 Who? No. Uhm, yes. No. I mean, yes. No. Neither. 121 00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:19,300 Did we lose? 122 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:24,209 No... and yes. No. There, I remembered! 123 00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:27,086 It was a draw. One to one. 124 00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:30,169 - Draw? What is he saying? - He's crazy! What does "one to one" mean? 125 00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:31,967 GUARDS!! Arrest him! 126 00:18:32,206 --> 00:18:35,670 No, have mercy! I have a proposal... 127 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:41,549 I'll make the trip back to Marathon. 42 km and 195 meters... 128 00:18:42,151 --> 00:18:45,216 I'll get more detailed information, maybe I'll write it down... 129 00:18:45,426 --> 00:18:48,697 and I'll return with the news ... TAC! Accurate! 130 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:50,775 Go, then! 131 00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:56,578 Let's haul ass... 195, 194, 193, 192 ... 132 00:19:17,258 --> 00:19:20,007 - Who is it? - The "T.C.R.P." 133 00:19:20,213 --> 00:19:24,564 "Tax Collection of the Roman Provinces". Open up! 134 00:19:30,278 --> 00:19:34,151 Good day, soldier! My husband is not home and I should... 135 00:19:34,671 --> 00:19:38,261 No jokes, Jew! Render unto Caesar what is of Caesar! 136 00:19:38,466 --> 00:19:43,555 But this house is mine, not of this Cιsar... 137 00:19:43,556 --> 00:19:44,954 I have not had the pleasure ... ... 138 00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:47,486 Anyway, how much does this gentleman want...? 139 00:19:47,492 --> 00:19:50,348 - It's based on what you possess! - Nothing! No, wait! 140 00:19:50,349 --> 00:19:52,945 Eh... here... here... take this. 141 00:19:53,243 --> 00:19:55,540 So... then Send my greetings, alright? 142 00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:57,738 To this greedy Mr. Caesar... 143 00:19:57,996 --> 00:19:59,834 How considerate, Sir Praetorian, eh? 144 00:19:59,934 --> 00:20:02,031 Very considerate! Bye! 145 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:09,448 That cabin was his only possession, together with a small plot of land by the lake. 146 00:20:15,011 --> 00:20:18,801 You! You stand here ... and So you just stay ... well... 147 00:20:19,005 --> 00:20:23,746 - Dad, what should I do?. - Nothing, nothing. Just stand there, and be casual... 148 00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:27,069 and scare... 149 00:20:27,272 --> 00:20:31,544 You do it very well. Come on, Pina, we still... 150 00:20:31,546 --> 00:20:36,768 Alright... so... Ready! Bring it on! Steady... 151 00:20:37,137 --> 00:20:40,965 Ahoy, Pina, faster! 152 00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:44,399 Heavy taxes, the Roman invaders... 153 00:20:44,406 --> 00:20:47,514 shortages, and the crows which ate his seeds... 154 00:20:47,522 --> 00:20:49,771 Not to mention the damned kids from the school across the street... 155 00:20:49,778 --> 00:20:54,108 Made Fantozzi's life very difficult. 156 00:20:54,551 --> 00:20:56,897 Oh, Pina! We did it! 157 00:20:57,307 --> 00:21:01,219 But people were saying that, someone would finally come ... 158 00:21:01,421 --> 00:21:04,692 and ultimately set everything right. 159 00:21:13,363 --> 00:21:17,296 Do you see that? It was tough, but they're growing! 160 00:21:17,297 --> 00:21:21,140 It took much effort, But... they're growing... here t-- 161 00:21:29,099 --> 00:21:32,052 Let the little children come to me. 162 00:21:34,591 --> 00:21:38,963 The strawberries! Watch out! No, no! 163 00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:43,469 Keep off! Stop! Watch out! 164 00:21:51,745 --> 00:21:55,493 Excuse me, ma'am. What? 165 00:21:55,699 --> 00:21:58,528 Sorry! Pardon! Excuse me, but what's happening? 166 00:21:58,535 --> 00:21:59,952 We are stoning an adulteress! 167 00:21:59,953 --> 00:22:02,250 I do not like these things. I'm leaving. 168 00:22:02,309 --> 00:22:03,881 Make way! Excuse me, excuse me! 169 00:22:03,882 --> 00:22:06,878 - Adulteress! Die! - Stop! 170 00:22:07,082 --> 00:22:10,471 He who is without sin cast the first stone. 171 00:22:21,021 --> 00:22:24,485 Help! Help! 172 00:22:28,050 --> 00:22:30,277 Are you ready, Dad? 173 00:22:31,565 --> 00:22:33,359 - It's almost done! - Ugo! 174 00:22:33,562 --> 00:22:36,715 You must be strong. I have some terrible news. 175 00:22:36,717 --> 00:22:40,063 - No! - Yes! - You invited someone to dinner? 176 00:22:40,152 --> 00:22:43,741 No. Rebecca passed by and brought us dire news. 177 00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:45,695 - What happened? - Your uncle... 178 00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:47,334 - Died. - No! 179 00:22:47,341 --> 00:22:48,438 - Yes! - NO! 180 00:22:48,639 --> 00:22:50,549 - YES! - NO! - YES! 181 00:22:50,556 --> 00:22:53,649 YEESSSSSSSSS! Uncle is dead! 182 00:22:53,971 --> 00:22:56,958 We're rich! We are the sole heirs! 183 00:22:57,166 --> 00:22:59,051 We are the sole heirs! 184 00:22:59,052 --> 00:23:01,149 Away with this disgusting house! 185 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,948 Burn! Who cares?! We'll buy another house! 186 00:23:03,956 --> 00:23:05,454 Out with this dump! 187 00:23:05,654 --> 00:23:08,249 We'll eat roasted venison for the rest of our lives! 188 00:23:08,369 --> 00:23:12,419 And then I will find a good husband for Marian-- maybe... 189 00:23:12,623 --> 00:23:14,311 - A... a dowry hunter. - Yes! 190 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,635 Anyway, uncle Lazarus is dead! We're rich! 191 00:23:17,636 --> 00:23:18,635 Uncle Lazaro is dead! He's dead! 192 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:26,680 Here I am! Come on! Here we are! 193 00:23:28,719 --> 00:23:31,215 - Come! - Come, Mariαngela. - Come, little one! 194 00:23:31,216 --> 00:23:33,013 - Easy... - This is my family! 195 00:23:33,671 --> 00:23:34,700 We are the heirs! 196 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:37,596 I inherited all! I am the heir! 197 00:23:38,184 --> 00:23:41,728 And you are the notary, yes? Did you bring documentation ...? 198 00:23:41,739 --> 00:23:45,144 - What's happening? - Lazarus! Rise up and walk! 199 00:23:45,145 --> 00:23:46,842 Walk? Wait, who..? Who will walk? 200 00:23:46,851 --> 00:23:50,804 Is he crazy? Look, he's dead... like ... 201 00:24:00,251 --> 00:24:03,017 But... is... is the guy... he's the guy... 202 00:24:09,537 --> 00:24:13,047 Notary! Notary! Please listen! 203 00:24:13,371 --> 00:24:18,881 It's not fair! I already... made some upfront payments... 204 00:24:22,058 --> 00:24:26,230 Uhm... Hi, Uncle... he... he doesn't shake hands. You look... well? 205 00:24:32,423 --> 00:24:37,410 - Ugo, don't dwell on it. - No, and who dwells on anything? 206 00:24:37,715 --> 00:24:40,880 Who cares. Let's go home! 207 00:24:40,890 --> 00:24:43,037 To what house? 208 00:24:44,524 --> 00:24:45,935 The house with the garden. 209 00:24:45,942 --> 00:24:49,468 Reduced to utter misery, Fantozzi accepted help... 210 00:24:49,676 --> 00:24:51,194 from his old friend, Moses Filini ... 211 00:24:51,694 --> 00:24:53,891 who hired him as an apprentice in his workshop... 212 00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:55,677 They moved to Jerusalem. 213 00:24:55,687 --> 00:24:59,213 - That would be all... - Look! Look! Look! 214 00:24:59,422 --> 00:25:04,568 Oh, tell me... Does this require a finishing touch? 215 00:25:05,253 --> 00:25:06,922 Yes, it does. 216 00:25:10,046 --> 00:25:13,333 Let's check. Another small touch? 217 00:25:13,341 --> 00:25:15,149 - NO! No... - Are you alright? 218 00:25:15,358 --> 00:25:17,346 - Yes, I'm fine! - Then come, Fantozzi!. 219 00:25:17,554 --> 00:25:21,826 - Quickly! Hurry! - Excuse me, but can I put a hat on? 220 00:25:22,028 --> 00:25:23,936 - Excuse me? - Like, a turban or something... 221 00:25:23,945 --> 00:25:26,530 - Why? - I am ashamed of this... 222 00:25:26,741 --> 00:25:29,808 - Of what? - This... spot here... 223 00:25:30,016 --> 00:25:31,907 - Alright. - Well, thanks. 224 00:25:32,207 --> 00:25:33,306 - Put a hat on. - Doing that. 225 00:25:33,311 --> 00:25:35,276 Come on, Fantozzi, stop wasting time. 226 00:25:35,487 --> 00:25:38,833 The judge told me that the next... watch out! 227 00:25:38,842 --> 00:25:41,511 - Sorry, my bad! - Be careful! 228 00:25:41,718 --> 00:25:43,731 - I gave you a cross in the face. - Whoa, whoa... 229 00:25:43,735 --> 00:25:47,863 - Ah, the address. Do you remember it? - Yes, Via... 230 00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:50,559 - Via..? - I don't remember the name. It was Via ... 231 00:25:50,565 --> 00:25:53,011 - Via Crucis 8. - Eight. - Whoa! 232 00:25:53,221 --> 00:25:55,654 - And get the money, please. - Okay. 233 00:25:55,657 --> 00:25:59,125 Don't you lose it on the street like last time! 234 00:25:59,371 --> 00:26:03,154 - Here we go. - What's going on? - Hurry up! 235 00:26:18,383 --> 00:26:21,853 Excuse me. Pardon me! Pardon me! 236 00:26:24,154 --> 00:26:26,441 - What's happening? - They caught two thieves. 237 00:26:26,451 --> 00:26:29,718 I see! Very well done! Pardon me... 238 00:26:31,723 --> 00:26:34,832 - I will continue... - Scoundrel! 239 00:26:34,938 --> 00:26:38,789 What are you doing here?! Get in line with the others! 240 00:26:38,992 --> 00:26:42,844 - Come on! - But I was... - COME ON! 241 00:26:42,945 --> 00:26:44,642 Where are we going..? 242 00:26:57,983 --> 00:27:02,911 Conscripted for an awful and futile crusade to the Holy Land, 243 00:27:03,115 --> 00:27:06,228 Fantozzi finally got back home. 244 00:27:06,430 --> 00:27:10,417 After 12 years of total sexual abstinence, 245 00:27:10,624 --> 00:27:14,089 with the exception of a fleeting and violent romance 246 00:27:14,099 --> 00:27:18,086 with the fierce Saladin: but even that had left untouched 247 00:27:18,292 --> 00:27:22,196 the desire to see his beloved wife again. 248 00:27:22,406 --> 00:27:27,314 - Pina! Pina! - That's my wife, asshole! 249 00:27:30,194 --> 00:27:33,189 Here it is! Here's our door! 250 00:27:34,308 --> 00:27:37,739 Pina! Here I am! 251 00:27:44,733 --> 00:27:46,607 Open up! 252 00:27:58,033 --> 00:28:02,080 Pina! Wh-what did they do to you..? 253 00:28:02,466 --> 00:28:05,056 - Ugo! - Woman! 254 00:28:05,262 --> 00:28:08,885 - But... wh-what... is that? - It's your little girl. 255 00:28:09,096 --> 00:28:11,367 Welcome home, Dad! 256 00:28:11,971 --> 00:28:14,607 - Hi there. - It's your daughter Mariαngela, 257 00:28:14,608 --> 00:28:17,113 She became a woman! 258 00:28:18,721 --> 00:28:20,629 A woman ... 259 00:28:23,075 --> 00:28:28,018 - Ugo! - Huh? - So happy to have you back! 260 00:28:30,863 --> 00:28:36,986 Pina, TWELVE years! The monke-- the little girl. Wait. 261 00:28:37,173 --> 00:28:43,421 Come here, child. Go play with other monke-- brats. 262 00:28:43,724 --> 00:28:49,209 Go play outside and return tonight! 263 00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:56,776 The lights... Mmm ... TWELVE years! 264 00:29:00,538 --> 00:29:02,730 Come here! 265 00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:10,282 Pina! Pina! Pina... mmm! 266 00:29:11,482 --> 00:29:15,393 Pina, I'll split you in half like an APPLE! 267 00:29:17,353 --> 00:29:20,068 The chastity belt! 268 00:29:22,825 --> 00:29:25,494 - Do you have the key? - Help! 269 00:29:25,501 --> 00:29:27,574 The key! 270 00:29:30,253 --> 00:29:33,877 Ugo, did you lose it? 271 00:29:36,165 --> 00:29:39,888 Wasn't there a duplicate of the damned key? 272 00:29:39,899 --> 00:29:45,126 No! Wait, maybe Filinus, the blacksmith, has one. He made it! 273 00:29:53,618 --> 00:29:55,208 - Filinus! - Who is it? 274 00:29:55,216 --> 00:29:57,078 It's me! 275 00:29:57,079 --> 00:30:00,074 Ah, Fantozzi, welcome! How's it going? 276 00:30:00,188 --> 00:30:04,901 Hey, sorry... but... I need... to... 277 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,294 - I don't get it. - It's been 12 years since... 278 00:30:08,296 --> 00:30:10,983 - 12 years old..? No? - The key! - What key? 279 00:30:11,192 --> 00:30:13,305 For the chastity belt of my wife! 280 00:30:13,808 --> 00:30:16,023 Ah, I understand! Hold on, I have to finish this little job. 281 00:30:16,124 --> 00:30:18,431 Can you do me a small favor? 282 00:30:18,432 --> 00:30:20,787 It will be just a second. You have good eyes... 283 00:30:20,837 --> 00:30:22,365 could you check if this iron is straightened? 284 00:30:22,375 --> 00:30:24,203 - No! - Why? 285 00:30:25,211 --> 00:30:29,164 - I don't know why... I said no... - Are you refusing to do me a favor? 286 00:30:29,165 --> 00:30:31,671 - Come on, check! Check!. - No, no, no... 287 00:30:31,681 --> 00:30:34,390 - Check. - Excuse me... 288 00:30:34,397 --> 00:30:38,778 - I would give a tap... here. - Where? 289 00:30:39,789 --> 00:30:42,140 Look, right here. 290 00:30:50,133 --> 00:30:53,365 - How's it doing? - Pretty well. 291 00:30:53,568 --> 00:30:56,839 Take these keys. One might fit. 292 00:30:56,943 --> 00:31:01,268 - And if not, I'll bring pliers. - NO! I prefer... 293 00:31:01,376 --> 00:31:03,464 The keys? All right. Here they are. 294 00:31:03,673 --> 00:31:05,944 - Now I... - Ah, how's the finger? 295 00:31:07,028 --> 00:31:09,299 Let me see. 296 00:31:11,501 --> 00:31:13,648 - Well, well. - Excuse me... 297 00:31:13,857 --> 00:31:15,970 Tell me about it later! 298 00:31:27,197 --> 00:31:30,389 Where are you going, lousy pig? Do you not know who is inside? 299 00:31:30,392 --> 00:31:32,864 No, who is it? 300 00:31:48,685 --> 00:31:51,195 - Princess, shall we flog him? - Yes... yes! 301 00:31:51,401 --> 00:31:55,751 20... even 25 lashes! I deserve them! 302 00:31:56,273 --> 00:32:00,942 No. These days should be of celebration and joy. I forgive you. 303 00:32:01,865 --> 00:32:03,773 Come on! 304 00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:15,284 The handkerchief! 305 00:32:15,484 --> 00:32:18,631 She was Princess Serbelloni Mazzanti Viendalmare, 306 00:32:18,739 --> 00:32:22,014 The daughter of the prince, who at that time had organized 307 00:32:22,015 --> 00:32:24,611 a great tournament to give her hand in marriage 308 00:32:24,711 --> 00:32:26,656 to a brave Knight who would defeat every opponent. 309 00:32:26,767 --> 00:32:30,452 Fantozzi fell monstrouly in love. 310 00:32:36,373 --> 00:32:39,089 Devoured completely by that mad passion, 311 00:32:39,489 --> 00:32:41,286 He stopped sleeping, 312 00:32:50,192 --> 00:32:52,225 He stopped eating 313 00:32:52,429 --> 00:32:57,217 - Ugo, why don't you eat? - Huh? Leave me alone! 314 00:32:59,258 --> 00:33:04,405 and finally, during nights with a full moon, he began to howl. 315 00:33:12,438 --> 00:33:14,347 KNOCK IT OFF! 316 00:33:22,543 --> 00:33:26,689 Until, realizing the sheer impossibility of this love... 317 00:33:26,697 --> 00:33:29,804 he decided to end his suffering. 318 00:33:37,321 --> 00:33:40,995 Excalabar. Excansoar. Exquicibut. Excansala. 319 00:33:40,996 --> 00:33:43,493 - Excalibur, you moron! - Thank you! 320 00:33:43,512 --> 00:33:47,885 Excalibur was the magical, invincible sword 321 00:33:48,186 --> 00:33:49,983 guarded by the Lake's Magician. 322 00:33:50,062 --> 00:33:54,151 But... sorry... but... for me..? 323 00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:59,245 Money? Ah, I understand. 324 00:33:59,488 --> 00:34:02,078 How much? Five? 325 00:34:02,084 --> 00:34:05,768 Well, excuse me for a second. But, could you turn around? 326 00:34:05,778 --> 00:34:10,024 Because, you know, I don't trust people and... here, I got the money. 327 00:34:10,591 --> 00:34:14,180 But there is a problem. I only have a 10-piece... 328 00:34:14,665 --> 00:34:16,732 Alright. There you go. 329 00:34:35,333 --> 00:34:38,546 Give it to me! Here it is! Here it is! 330 00:34:42,183 --> 00:34:46,011 But, sorry... What about my change? 331 00:34:49,652 --> 00:34:52,446 Ah, no change. Alright. 332 00:34:58,598 --> 00:35:00,393 Ecubitus! 333 00:35:02,353 --> 00:35:04,270 Trumbulus! Escarmity! 334 00:35:04,371 --> 00:35:06,168 Excalibur, you moron! 335 00:35:06,307 --> 00:35:10,180 Yes... but don't insult me in front of the sword. 336 00:35:10,780 --> 00:35:14,887 With the magic sword, I will win the tournament 337 00:35:15,094 --> 00:35:18,444 and the Princess will be mine! 338 00:35:41,174 --> 00:35:45,081 The Red Dragon was the winged sign of the terrible knight 339 00:35:45,088 --> 00:35:50,116 who was a crowd favorite and was expected to win. 340 00:35:55,093 --> 00:35:58,142 Here it is! Here it is! 341 00:36:14,644 --> 00:36:19,930 Order of demolition: Bull, Unicorn, Hydra, Eagle. 342 00:36:24,109 --> 00:36:27,653 And finally Fantozzi's turn! 343 00:36:27,944 --> 00:36:30,739 It was the symbol of the catering and BBQ service "Spiedo" 344 00:36:30,740 --> 00:36:32,937 who was Fantozzi's sponsor for the competition. 345 00:36:32,976 --> 00:36:35,289 You're up next! Come on! 346 00:36:41,144 --> 00:36:42,692 Fantozzi's armor: 347 00:36:42,993 --> 00:36:45,489 A wind vane as a helmet plume, 348 00:36:45,697 --> 00:36:48,784 a horrid viking helmet with zero peripheral visibility, 349 00:36:48,892 --> 00:36:52,502 a stolen bronze suspender from the statue of Pepin the Short, 350 00:36:52,603 --> 00:36:53,501 and on his feet, 351 00:36:53,705 --> 00:36:57,210 Molten-lead cast ironing implements. 352 00:37:09,541 --> 00:37:11,578 Fantozzi's armor's total weight: 353 00:37:12,078 --> 00:37:16,271 432 kilos and 7 and a half ounces. 354 00:37:16,471 --> 00:37:19,344 - What do I do? Do I release? - Release! 355 00:37:56,111 --> 00:37:59,045 Your turn! Quick give me the sword. 356 00:37:59,046 --> 00:38:01,557 - What sword? The lance goes first! - No, no, no... 357 00:38:01,762 --> 00:38:05,013 - I want only the sword. - No, the lance, the lance! 358 00:38:05,017 --> 00:38:06,295 They will not change the rules. 359 00:38:06,296 --> 00:38:10,191 You will first use the lance, and later, the sword. Here you go. 360 00:38:10,349 --> 00:38:14,139 But I wanted the sword... 361 00:38:28,202 --> 00:38:30,190 Thank you. 362 00:38:52,526 --> 00:38:57,115 Yay dad! Go! 363 00:39:00,314 --> 00:39:04,907 Come on... Excubidus! Excacibus! Exqui... 364 00:39:05,008 --> 00:39:06,705 - Excalibur - Thank you. 365 00:39:09,061 --> 00:39:11,035 Come, come! I'm not afraid of you! 366 00:39:12,815 --> 00:39:14,564 Ugo! 367 00:39:24,797 --> 00:39:27,424 - Go dad! - Ugo, hang on! 368 00:39:27,425 --> 00:39:30,520 Go! Go! Go! 369 00:39:31,108 --> 00:39:32,902 Come on! 370 00:39:34,862 --> 00:39:37,247 This sword isn't working! 371 00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:46,717 The Lord of the Lake scammed me! 372 00:39:52,355 --> 00:39:55,979 I suspect that you are a little angry with me... 373 00:39:57,588 --> 00:40:01,541 TIME OUT! I need a one year time out... 374 00:40:07,812 --> 00:40:09,686 Enough! 375 00:40:12,066 --> 00:40:15,559 Pina, it's halftime! I'm saved! 376 00:40:17,158 --> 00:40:19,509 - Die, piece of shit! - I asked for a time out! 377 00:40:19,515 --> 00:40:22,860 - You're not playing fair! - Die, fucking commoner! 378 00:40:23,069 --> 00:40:28,976 Rubbish! Faggot! Die, scum! Scoundrel! 379 00:40:41,561 --> 00:40:43,311 Ouch! 380 00:40:46,833 --> 00:40:49,423 Ugo, take this! This is the true sword! 381 00:40:49,629 --> 00:40:51,965 Forgive me! I did it because I love you! 382 00:40:51,966 --> 00:40:57,492 I don't care if you divorce me, it's better than seeing you dead! 383 00:41:06,643 --> 00:41:10,153 - Excalibur! - Very good. - Thanks. 384 00:41:10,717 --> 00:41:12,546 Finish him! 385 00:41:22,699 --> 00:41:26,647 Now let's see who is the piece of shit! 386 00:41:30,128 --> 00:41:34,031 You're scared now, huh? 387 00:41:36,059 --> 00:41:40,028 Come here! Pig! Commoner! 388 00:41:40,233 --> 00:41:44,583 I'll teach you! Come here! Poof! 389 00:41:45,225 --> 00:41:50,491 Scum! Commoner! 390 00:41:53,772 --> 00:41:56,085 Poof! 391 00:41:57,008 --> 00:41:59,160 Mercy! 392 00:42:03,997 --> 00:42:07,264 Victory! Victory! 393 00:42:08,950 --> 00:42:11,380 My Daddy! That's my Daddy! 394 00:42:11,586 --> 00:42:14,414 No, don't go! Stop! 395 00:42:14,421 --> 00:42:17,085 - But it's my dad! - Stop it! 396 00:42:19,773 --> 00:42:21,806 Dad is no longer ours. 397 00:42:22,849 --> 00:42:27,631 - I will not marry that rat. - You will lose all your privileges, then. 398 00:42:39,583 --> 00:42:42,571 My word is sacred. This is your wife. 399 00:42:43,378 --> 00:42:45,968 Thank you. But I do not want her. 400 00:42:47,252 --> 00:42:50,319 I'm happily married. 401 00:42:50,766 --> 00:42:52,561 Pina! 402 00:42:53,163 --> 00:42:56,230 Wait for me! Come here! 403 00:42:56,458 --> 00:42:59,428 Ugo! Ugo! Ugo! 404 00:43:08,260 --> 00:43:14,162 This is my wife... and I... I hold her in the highest esteem. 405 00:43:14,970 --> 00:43:20,355 In addition, she gave me a Beaut--...iful daughter. 406 00:43:20,562 --> 00:43:22,867 - Yes. - So you are rejecting me? 407 00:43:22,878 --> 00:43:26,270 - No offense. - Why did you enter the tournament then? 408 00:43:26,273 --> 00:43:29,063 For pure sportsmanship. 409 00:43:29,069 --> 00:43:31,574 Come on, Melisande. 410 00:43:33,802 --> 00:43:38,649 - Thank you. - You're welcome. - Thank you Ugo, I respect you so much. 411 00:43:39,373 --> 00:43:43,156 Excuse me, excuse me! Here is the winner of this tournament! 412 00:43:43,367 --> 00:43:47,673 Let us carry our champion in triumph! 413 00:43:49,158 --> 00:43:53,265 Slowly, slowly... I weigh a ton! 414 00:43:55,808 --> 00:43:58,864 The food is ready! 415 00:44:03,577 --> 00:44:07,961 END OF PART ONE 416 00:44:08,769 --> 00:44:13,153 PART TWO 417 00:44:21,410 --> 00:44:26,258 Fantozzi, because of a terrible financial crisis 418 00:44:26,263 --> 00:44:29,767 fell into abject poverty. 419 00:44:30,576 --> 00:44:33,711 A penny! Give me a penny! Mercy! 420 00:44:33,812 --> 00:44:36,508 I am poor! I am poor! 421 00:44:39,562 --> 00:44:41,914 Who's there?? 422 00:44:45,513 --> 00:44:48,019 But... what's happening? 423 00:44:48,030 --> 00:44:52,341 I am Robin Hood. I rob the rich and give to the poor. 424 00:44:53,022 --> 00:44:54,975 Thank you! 425 00:44:56,697 --> 00:44:58,525 Pina! 426 00:44:59,373 --> 00:45:01,560 Money! 427 00:45:01,909 --> 00:45:05,264 Look here! Look how wonderful! 428 00:45:05,464 --> 00:45:07,961 Misery is over! We're rich! 429 00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,333 We're rich! We are ri-- 430 00:45:15,508 --> 00:45:16,905 What are you doing? 431 00:45:16,906 --> 00:45:21,218 I am Robin Hood. I rob the rich and give to the poor. 432 00:45:26,312 --> 00:45:29,047 It hasn't even been 20 minutes! 433 00:46:07,749 --> 00:46:11,856 Death to the aristocrats! If I catch you, I'll break your ass! 434 00:46:13,461 --> 00:46:15,494 Asshole! 435 00:46:15,498 --> 00:46:18,969 If I catch you, I'll kill you! 436 00:46:24,884 --> 00:46:27,553 Death! Death! 437 00:46:27,999 --> 00:46:32,111 To the guillotine! To the guillotine! 438 00:46:36,426 --> 00:46:39,334 Death to the aristocrat! 439 00:46:41,339 --> 00:46:43,247 Death! Death! 440 00:46:43,456 --> 00:46:46,284 Cuckold! Piece of Shit! 441 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,345 Kill him! 442 00:47:23,316 --> 00:47:26,628 Damn, citizen Fantozzi, The blade is stuck! 443 00:47:26,830 --> 00:47:29,545 Death! Kill him! 444 00:47:30,065 --> 00:47:33,292 Now they will pardon him! 445 00:47:33,740 --> 00:47:36,569 If so, citizens! 446 00:47:36,775 --> 00:47:40,319 - Damn. - Allow me... 447 00:47:40,929 --> 00:47:44,321 What pardon? What pardon??? Excuse me... allow me... 448 00:47:44,524 --> 00:47:49,108 Come on! Do something with this son of a bitch Come on! 449 00:47:49,316 --> 00:47:52,660 - No, Ugo! - Move over! I'll take care of this! Come on! 450 00:47:52,671 --> 00:47:55,706 Move it! Shit, it's stuck! 451 00:47:55,906 --> 00:48:01,256 Out, out, I'll take it! Come on! What the hell are you doing? 452 00:48:01,937 --> 00:48:03,795 Wait a minute. How the hell...? 453 00:48:03,895 --> 00:48:05,992 Wait! Excuse me... Wait a second ... 454 00:48:06,091 --> 00:48:10,403 Out, out! Piece of shit aristocrat! Let me! 455 00:48:10,504 --> 00:48:13,916 Bitch of a guillotine. How the fuck does it work? Damn guillotine... 456 00:48:14,019 --> 00:48:18,702 that won't work! Damn guillotine... 457 00:48:31,453 --> 00:48:33,150 With the powerful recommendation 458 00:48:33,351 --> 00:48:36,147 and the good offices of Cardinal Ortona Natta 459 00:48:36,405 --> 00:48:38,842 who fancied him monstrously 460 00:48:39,042 --> 00:48:43,535 Fantozzi, finally got assigned an apartment 461 00:48:43,835 --> 00:48:48,147 along the walls of the Papal State, in Porta Pia. 462 00:48:48,248 --> 00:48:51,111 This is our home. Pina, take this portrait 463 00:48:51,123 --> 00:48:53,454 of Father Ortona Natta, and you, Mariαngela... 464 00:48:53,460 --> 00:48:55,692 carry this, and I've ... 465 00:48:55,896 --> 00:48:59,724 the ... the ... the ... 466 00:49:02,266 --> 00:49:04,633 What IS this..? 467 00:49:05,002 --> 00:49:09,586 This is a special bottle! Today I want to celebrate! 468 00:49:09,795 --> 00:49:11,828 Today is a big day! Mariαngela, stay here. 469 00:49:11,832 --> 00:49:15,064 The glasses! The glasses! Today is a great day! 470 00:49:15,267 --> 00:49:19,174 Today, September 20, 1870... 471 00:49:21,338 --> 00:49:26,285 - What's happening, Ugo? - Celebration! Fireworks! 472 00:49:26,290 --> 00:49:28,795 However, today is a great day 473 00:49:28,806 --> 00:49:33,073 Because finally, the Fantozzis have a home! 474 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,836 Viva! A toast! 475 00:49:51,253 --> 00:49:57,201 They were in the dining room right on the front line of Porta Pia. 476 00:49:57,363 --> 00:50:01,470 Hey! The... bott--... bott- forgot... 477 00:50:04,393 --> 00:50:08,466 Did you see? Such a hole! 478 00:50:08,766 --> 00:50:11,103 With the annexation of Rome... 479 00:50:11,203 --> 00:50:14,698 to the Kingdom of Italy, management changed 480 00:50:14,901 --> 00:50:16,962 but Fantozzi's life did not. 481 00:50:17,054 --> 00:50:19,241 Watch out! 482 00:50:20,249 --> 00:50:23,799 Up..! 483 00:50:29,515 --> 00:50:33,959 Although the Mayor changed from the ferocious Cardinal Ravelli Carta... 484 00:50:33,968 --> 00:50:36,814 to the Turin knight 485 00:50:36,915 --> 00:50:38,896 Great Chantapuf., Hom., Lob., 486 00:50:39,100 --> 00:50:41,249 Duke Modestino Balabam. 487 00:50:41,749 --> 00:50:42,748 Let's go. 488 00:50:47,967 --> 00:50:50,244 He tried to have Garibaldi poisoned 489 00:50:50,245 --> 00:50:52,142 gaining the sympathy of Count Cavour. 490 00:50:52,181 --> 00:50:55,754 Then, through Masonic intrigues and terrible machinations 491 00:50:55,755 --> 00:50:58,848 He established a brilliant career, 492 00:50:58,851 --> 00:51:02,855 while also still able to cultivate his great passion: rowing . 493 00:51:02,865 --> 00:51:06,217 The founding member of the Po River Rowing Club, he wanted to found a similar one 494 00:51:06,519 --> 00:51:09,127 on the Tevere river. 495 00:51:09,574 --> 00:51:14,357 You Romans are nothing more than spineless mollusks. 496 00:51:15,046 --> 00:51:18,919 And worst of all, you're all priest-butt kissers! 497 00:51:21,037 --> 00:51:24,149 But this ends NOW! 498 00:51:26,409 --> 00:51:30,058 - Do you like rowing? - Yes! It's wonderful. Yes! 499 00:51:30,143 --> 00:51:34,848 My motto is: "Rowing in Rome"! That's my motto! 500 00:51:35,096 --> 00:51:38,367 So... you are experts. 501 00:51:41,686 --> 00:51:43,719 Well... well... 502 00:51:45,081 --> 00:51:47,386 Can you prove it? 503 00:51:48,436 --> 00:51:51,748 - I need a volunteer. You! - Me? 504 00:51:51,951 --> 00:51:54,665 - No, behind you. - Me? 505 00:51:54,906 --> 00:51:58,377 No, further back. 506 00:51:58,521 --> 00:52:03,051 - Behind thi-- ME? - Come here, moron. 507 00:52:03,253 --> 00:52:05,486 - I've chosen. - Me? 508 00:52:09,085 --> 00:52:11,276 - The Expert! - Wait, what..? - Well, well. 509 00:52:12,380 --> 00:52:14,230 This... uh... 510 00:52:15,635 --> 00:52:18,602 You are the expert in rowing? 511 00:52:18,610 --> 00:52:23,022 If... almost... sort of... more of a... pretty much. 512 00:52:23,223 --> 00:52:26,211 - Sit. - Thank you. 513 00:52:26,419 --> 00:52:31,610 - But... there's... no... no chair. - SIT! 514 00:52:31,890 --> 00:52:34,037 Thank you. 515 00:52:34,926 --> 00:52:38,908 - Here I am. Comfy. - What are you doing?? 516 00:52:39,119 --> 00:52:41,550 You told me to sit down and... 517 00:52:43,792 --> 00:52:48,813 I didn't see the chair. Sorry. I'm coming. 518 00:52:57,492 --> 00:53:01,195 God, it weighs a ton! 519 00:53:01,566 --> 00:53:05,011 I'm going to throw up! HELP ME! 520 00:53:09,913 --> 00:53:13,695 They are slightly heavy chairs... 521 00:53:14,027 --> 00:53:16,532 Eh... 522 00:53:19,379 --> 00:53:21,492 What is a "scalmo"? (EN - "Rowlock": a brace that attaches an oar to a boat.) 523 00:53:34,156 --> 00:53:37,303 It's a man who ... lost some ... hair? (IT - "calvo") 524 00:53:37,511 --> 00:53:40,340 If you do not know, do not make shit up!. 525 00:53:42,144 --> 00:53:46,211 Tell me then... who invented the boat? 526 00:53:48,215 --> 00:53:51,209 That... that... 527 00:53:51,410 --> 00:53:54,001 - Yes? - Francesca of Rimini. 528 00:53:54,206 --> 00:53:56,398 Francesca of Rimini?! 529 00:53:56,403 --> 00:53:59,396 She said a young... 530 00:53:59,398 --> 00:54:02,506 It is a rumor. I overheard it. 531 00:54:02,713 --> 00:54:06,303 Now, excuse me... Can you ask another question? 532 00:54:06,508 --> 00:54:09,795 I want to leave a good impression. 533 00:54:11,021 --> 00:54:13,451 Last question. "Eight rowers Iole"..? (A type of boat) 534 00:54:13,657 --> 00:54:16,564 Ah, yes! Terrific! This is... 535 00:54:16,772 --> 00:54:21,555 is easy. So... (gibberish) nothing... nothing, whisper ... 536 00:54:22,204 --> 00:54:26,748 So... it's like this... okay? It is said ... Yola ... 537 00:54:27,875 --> 00:54:31,143 Yola, is a friend. 538 00:54:31,350 --> 00:54:33,985 - She's a woman who is a little... - What?? 539 00:54:33,986 --> 00:54:38,093 Uhm, she lives in... next door There's a door... 540 00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:44,380 Knock, knock! If you knock, she opens it... and she's with eight... sailors... 541 00:54:44,391 --> 00:54:47,120 - Eight. They are Russian. - Russians? 542 00:54:47,126 --> 00:54:50,200 - No, no. One was Polish. - One was Polish? - Uh, yes, but... 543 00:54:50,401 --> 00:54:55,945 the others threw him out. Ah, they are colored! 544 00:54:56,153 --> 00:54:59,504 - They are black sailors. - Black? 545 00:54:59,787 --> 00:55:04,959 What ignorance! How could you not know something so simple?! 546 00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:06,894 Ask them... 547 00:55:07,655 --> 00:55:10,563 Now, another question. 548 00:55:11,570 --> 00:55:15,279 Now, I will ask... 549 00:55:15,484 --> 00:55:18,630 I will ask ... STOP RIGHT THERE!! 550 00:55:20,197 --> 00:55:24,622 Starting today, things will change! 551 00:55:24,630 --> 00:55:28,862 Your careers will be depending on your rowing performance! 552 00:55:28,863 --> 00:55:32,618 Tomorrow, Sunday, we are meeting on the Tevere 553 00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:34,915 for the first Balabam Rowing Cup! 554 00:55:42,603 --> 00:55:45,471 My employees... 555 00:55:48,753 --> 00:55:50,766 to the boats! 556 00:55:50,770 --> 00:55:54,054 - Good luck, Dad! - Let's go. 557 00:55:54,385 --> 00:55:58,088 Come, Fantozzi. 558 00:56:02,213 --> 00:56:05,617 To inaugurate the first Tiber Rowing Circle, 559 00:56:05,628 --> 00:56:08,564 Balabam selected a gruelling counter-current regatta 560 00:56:08,764 --> 00:56:11,161 with a distance of over 7 nautical miles. 561 00:56:11,299 --> 00:56:14,791 - Now, what is it? - You have to order the start. 562 00:56:29,013 --> 00:56:34,954 The starting signal would be given at 12:00 by the Gianicolo Cannon. (A cannon that would fire each noon.) 563 00:56:35,563 --> 00:56:37,948 - Almost time... - Yes. 564 00:56:37,959 --> 00:56:41,067 - It's hot here. - Of course! 565 00:56:42,353 --> 00:56:45,102 Noon sharp! 566 00:56:50,141 --> 00:56:55,532 - Ultraprecise watch, see? - Yes, and a wrecked boat, see? 567 00:57:00,206 --> 00:57:02,552 - Ready? - Ready! 568 00:57:02,762 --> 00:57:04,875 - Come on! - Come on! 569 00:57:06,317 --> 00:57:09,472 At the Sisto Bridge, the Colsi brothers 570 00:57:09,473 --> 00:57:11,869 were the victims of a slight... oversight... 571 00:57:11,888 --> 00:57:16,896 - How are we doing? Are we on course?. - Yes, we'll pass right in the middle! 572 00:57:27,085 --> 00:57:28,801 Sorry! 573 00:57:29,002 --> 00:57:31,453 You're breaking my kidneys! 574 00:57:31,553 --> 00:57:33,151 And you're drenching me! 575 00:57:33,256 --> 00:57:35,153 - Why don't you coordinate? - Same goes for you! 576 00:57:35,353 --> 00:57:37,699 - Okay, let's coordinate. - Coordination... are you coordinated? 577 00:57:37,809 --> 00:57:40,465 - Ready? - Ready! Come on! 578 00:57:40,665 --> 00:57:44,447 Sorry! Be patient, I'm trying to improve. 579 00:57:44,459 --> 00:57:47,294 I'll change! I'll change my companion! 580 00:57:47,594 --> 00:57:50,845 At Castel Sant'Angelo in a fatal coincidence 581 00:57:51,049 --> 00:57:53,180 With the passing of the Fantozzi-Filini team 582 00:57:53,286 --> 00:57:57,229 An anonymous man decided to take his own life. 583 00:57:59,097 --> 00:58:00,912 - Excuse me. - Yes? 584 00:58:00,914 --> 00:58:02,783 - What time is it? - Why? 585 00:58:02,791 --> 00:58:06,183 - Is it noon again? - Why do you ask? Why did you stop? 586 00:58:06,186 --> 00:58:09,591 - Because... - Wait. What is it NOW? - A man... - A sir. Where..? 587 00:58:09,601 --> 00:58:12,127 - That went...like, down - Nonsense! - I'll explain later. 588 00:58:12,137 --> 00:58:16,563 - Let's go!. Where are you going? - One second, I'm here to... 589 00:58:16,770 --> 00:58:22,431 - ...Because I must put this thing back. - Forget it! Come on! 590 00:58:22,542 --> 00:58:24,307 - Come on! - There is a big mess here. 591 00:58:24,319 --> 00:58:27,154 Leave it! it's not the time to tidy up the boat! 592 00:58:27,254 --> 00:58:29,542 - Look. - Where did you get that? - I'll explain later. 593 00:58:29,551 --> 00:58:31,986 - It must be put back in its place. - Where did you get it? 594 00:58:32,387 --> 00:58:33,922 - Fantozzi! - The oars. 595 00:58:33,924 --> 00:58:35,893 - All set? - Ready! - Did you put everything back? 596 00:58:35,901 --> 00:58:39,247 - Everything is ready. - Okay. - Go! 597 00:58:39,396 --> 00:58:42,243 At Ripetta and in the first place 598 00:58:42,252 --> 00:58:45,241 Clerk Trota ("trout") and transcriber Sogliola ("flatfish") 599 00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:50,208 In a dreadful misunderstanding, were caught and sold 600 00:58:50,220 --> 00:58:54,511 at the fish market in the Vatican by amateur fishermen. 601 00:58:54,513 --> 00:58:57,746 Excuse me, Mr. Commander! 602 00:58:58,388 --> 00:59:02,011 I hate to say it, but we're monstrously delayed. 603 00:59:02,022 --> 00:59:05,845 Do not worry about it. I know a shortcut, you'll see! 604 00:59:05,856 --> 00:59:08,248 - Okay. - Thank you. 605 00:59:11,088 --> 00:59:15,200 Ponte Livio: the Archivist Mughini and his colleague, Belotti Bom 606 00:59:15,202 --> 00:59:19,025 decided to resort to the help of a mechanical contraption 607 00:59:19,036 --> 00:59:23,223 recently invented by engineers Barsanti and Matteucci. 608 00:59:23,430 --> 00:59:28,450 It was the famous first prototype of the diesel engine... it was a blast. 609 00:59:35,052 --> 00:59:40,372 Excuse me. Aside from the odor, Are you sure that this 610 00:59:40,384 --> 00:59:43,908 - is a shortcut? - Enough with your doubts! 611 00:59:44,019 --> 00:59:46,629 I told you, I have a map. Do you see the map? 612 00:59:46,635 --> 00:59:50,185 Ah, it is mapped! Okay, But then, when do you reckon 613 00:59:50,389 --> 00:59:52,974 we'll be out of this sewer... uh, this shortcut? 614 00:59:52,985 --> 00:59:56,529 Oh, don't worry! In a half hour, we're out. 615 00:59:56,939 --> 01:00:00,664 58 days after, in the atrium of Fantozzi's office, 616 01:00:00,964 --> 01:00:02,761 a statue was unveiled 617 01:00:02,970 --> 01:00:06,435 in memory of the Missing Employees. 618 01:00:12,915 --> 01:00:18,101 Actually, the two wandered many years yet 619 01:00:18,107 --> 01:00:23,578 through the world's sewers before exiting into the ocean 620 01:00:23,779 --> 01:00:27,370 where they were finally rescued by a transatlantic 621 01:00:27,373 --> 01:00:31,804 which was making its maiden voyage: The "Titanic"! 622 01:00:32,186 --> 01:00:36,352 Finally,the latest fad from France arrived ... 623 01:00:36,460 --> 01:00:41,788 a clamorous event, sensational news: the motion pictures . 624 01:00:41,871 --> 01:00:43,700 "Watered Gardener" 625 01:01:02,321 --> 01:01:06,711 - Pina. Pina! Shall we go? - No, Ugo... 626 01:01:06,714 --> 01:01:08,964 Look how beautiful it is! It's fun! 627 01:01:08,971 --> 01:01:11,222 But Pina, do not tell me you like this foolery. 628 01:01:11,227 --> 01:01:13,857 It's a thing for children. For retarded children, on top of that! 629 01:01:14,063 --> 01:01:16,892 This is something that will not last. 630 01:01:31,477 --> 01:01:33,226 What's happening? 631 01:01:33,434 --> 01:01:36,183 - Ugo! Ugo, I'm afraid! - Why? 632 01:01:36,389 --> 01:01:38,661 - The train! - It's all fake, don't you see? 633 01:01:38,866 --> 01:01:42,250 - Let's run away! - But Pina, it's fiction, right? 634 01:01:42,460 --> 01:01:47,890 Hey! Have you all gone crazy? It's all fake! 635 01:01:48,651 --> 01:01:51,797 But don't you see? It's just a simple optical illusion! 636 01:02:08,062 --> 01:02:09,856 Mark it! 637 01:02:21,761 --> 01:02:24,714 - Two notches! - Roger! 638 01:02:26,673 --> 01:02:28,582 Two! 639 01:02:35,580 --> 01:02:39,483 - Notch! Notch! Notch! - Yes! Three! 640 01:02:40,592 --> 01:02:45,043 One, two, three! 641 01:03:18,435 --> 01:03:21,104 After centuries of suffering in his life in Europe 642 01:03:21,111 --> 01:03:26,775 Fantozzi finally decided to try his (mis)fortune in America. 643 01:03:27,582 --> 01:03:30,808 It's here, we arrived! 644 01:03:31,935 --> 01:03:35,479 We arrived at our house! 645 01:03:37,127 --> 01:03:42,876 Ughino, are you sure this is home? It's a rich people's neighborhood! 646 01:03:43,078 --> 01:03:46,509 No, no, no, I'm quite sure! We owe everything to Mr. Adams! 647 01:03:46,513 --> 01:03:49,424 The lender, who offered me a very low price! Come! 648 01:03:50,627 --> 01:03:54,853 - Can you take the girl? - I cannot. 649 01:03:55,100 --> 01:03:58,644 It is very hard... also for me! 650 01:04:26,014 --> 01:04:28,444 - Want some milk? - Scottish, yes. 651 01:04:44,466 --> 01:04:47,537 This is the place. Last night, informants saw 652 01:04:47,741 --> 01:04:50,566 the delivery of two trucks full of bottles of whiskey. 653 01:04:50,867 --> 01:04:53,363 They have no way out. This time they shall not escape. 654 01:04:53,372 --> 01:04:56,846 For safety, let's wait a few minutes before entering. 655 01:05:00,761 --> 01:05:04,486 # You are welcome door to mine ... # 656 01:05:04,495 --> 01:05:08,450 My house! Pina, I am happy, We're in America! 657 01:05:08,451 --> 01:05:10,348 Pina, let us officially celebrate 658 01:05:10,586 --> 01:05:14,812 - Our first, true, American home! - Yes, yes, yes, yes! 659 01:05:15,139 --> 01:05:19,013 - I have a surprise! - What, what, what? 660 01:05:19,213 --> 01:05:22,246 - I'll do something foolish... - What, here?! 661 01:05:23,247 --> 01:05:26,957 You misunderstood, love. Here it is! 662 01:05:27,521 --> 01:05:30,667 But alcohol is prohibited! 663 01:05:30,876 --> 01:05:32,989 It's banned, Dad. 664 01:05:33,192 --> 01:05:34,909 Cover up, it is best to cover yourself! 665 01:05:34,910 --> 01:05:38,404 For the rabie-... ehm, the cold! 666 01:05:38,664 --> 01:05:43,173 - Pina, a toast! The glasses! - Isn't it dangerous? 667 01:05:43,417 --> 01:05:47,570 Who would find us here? This is an iron cage! A glass! 668 01:05:47,571 --> 01:05:50,962 - Me too, me too! - Cover up! Cover up, you! 669 01:05:58,334 --> 01:06:01,858 - The Police. - Oh, God... - Easy. 670 01:06:16,547 --> 01:06:20,313 - I want to drink! I want to celebrate! - Enough, Ugo! 671 01:06:20,521 --> 01:06:26,709 I'm so happy! Ah, come on, what's up with you?? 672 01:06:29,827 --> 01:06:32,722 Come on, come on! Cheers! Come on! 673 01:06:32,823 --> 01:06:36,218 # Toast, toast, a toast to love... # 674 01:06:36,297 --> 01:06:39,682 # And to this house, it is in my heart. # 675 01:06:39,792 --> 01:06:42,799 # And we that are happy ... # 676 01:06:43,007 --> 01:06:46,472 # Provide, provide, offer!. # 677 01:06:51,294 --> 01:06:53,891 # Offer, drink, drink, drink!. # 678 01:06:54,190 --> 01:06:55,124 What do you want? 679 01:06:55,129 --> 01:06:58,541 - Where do you hide the alcohol?! - Where are the bottles?! 680 01:07:00,101 --> 01:07:03,486 - Do it! - You're not talking, huh? You are guilty of everything! 681 01:07:03,696 --> 01:07:06,445 What do you want from me? 682 01:07:08,369 --> 01:07:11,595 - Come here! - Let me go, monster! 683 01:07:11,604 --> 01:07:13,314 MOMMMYYYYYYY!! 684 01:07:15,718 --> 01:07:19,541 Just a moment! 685 01:07:22,867 --> 01:07:25,815 Let's talk about this! 686 01:07:28,239 --> 01:07:29,727 Murderers! Murderers! 687 01:07:30,136 --> 01:07:33,564 Just a question, what time does 688 01:07:33,571 --> 01:07:35,925 the first steamship to Italy leave? 689 01:07:36,127 --> 01:07:37,979 We were here for too short a time, but it was good! 690 01:07:37,984 --> 01:07:43,272 We just arrived and he gets the house destroyed... 691 01:08:25,612 --> 01:08:28,758 With the outbreak of the Second World War 692 01:08:28,967 --> 01:08:33,049 Fantozzi was called back to aviation. 693 01:08:45,143 --> 01:08:48,925 This is the name of the first lucky one 694 01:08:49,416 --> 01:08:51,849 who will have the honor of dying 695 01:08:51,853 --> 01:08:55,607 crashing against an American ship. 696 01:08:57,165 --> 01:08:59,470 Moonbeam! ("Hikari!") 697 01:09:08,627 --> 01:09:10,740 Noise of thunder! ("Kaminari") 698 01:09:18,373 --> 01:09:20,758 Tozzi Fan! 699 01:09:23,685 --> 01:09:25,210 Tozzi Fan! 700 01:10:27,468 --> 01:10:28,966 Banzai! 701 01:10:59,221 --> 01:11:00,918 Banzai! 702 01:11:11,023 --> 01:11:13,916 Banzai! Banzai! 703 01:11:16,435 --> 01:11:19,104 Banzai! 704 01:11:33,888 --> 01:11:37,363 Kamikaze Tozzi Fan decided to hide 705 01:11:37,364 --> 01:11:38,962 and await the end of the war 706 01:11:39,061 --> 01:11:43,272 hidden in that cheerful, quiet provincial town. 707 01:11:43,474 --> 01:11:46,348 HIROSHIMA 708 01:11:47,927 --> 01:11:52,173 Fantozzi had ignomiously skipped work that day, 709 01:11:52,380 --> 01:11:54,537 unbeknownst not even his own family 710 01:11:54,638 --> 01:11:58,233 and was slowly approaching the stadium. 711 01:11:59,330 --> 01:12:01,845 Ah, finally we are out of the office! 712 01:12:01,946 --> 01:12:04,994 We will spend a great day of sun and sport! 713 01:12:05,201 --> 01:12:08,791 Feel the fresh air! Open, open! Breathe, breathe! 714 01:12:11,711 --> 01:12:13,978 Close! Close! 715 01:12:15,546 --> 01:12:18,753 - Listen, will we arrive on time? - What do you think? 716 01:12:18,861 --> 01:12:22,409 - There are only 7 hours before the game. - Do not be afraid, I'm a master 717 01:12:22,515 --> 01:12:25,647 of stadium approaches. There's an opening! Go! 718 01:12:25,850 --> 01:12:28,882 Stuck! Come on, come on... 719 01:12:36,194 --> 01:12:38,746 We're stuck! 720 01:12:38,751 --> 01:12:41,302 Come out! Come out! 721 01:12:42,585 --> 01:12:44,618 - We're stuck! - The roof! 722 01:12:44,821 --> 01:12:47,456 - What roof? - Damn. Through the engine! 723 01:12:47,857 --> 01:12:52,326 Right place. Well, well. Come on, hurry! 724 01:12:54,567 --> 01:12:56,555 Get going, Fantozzi, do not waste time! 725 01:12:56,564 --> 01:13:00,637 Sorry, I don't know this route very well! 726 01:13:05,830 --> 01:13:09,056 - Very comfortable over here. Come on. - Yes, I'm coming. 727 01:13:09,265 --> 01:13:11,536 Come out. Here. 728 01:13:11,821 --> 01:13:17,126 - What are you waiting for? Come on, come on. - Hey, what about the car? 729 01:13:17,332 --> 01:13:20,047 - Leave it here. - But they're going to fine me. 730 01:13:20,048 --> 01:13:22,315 Who cares, Fantozzi? The car is yours. 731 01:13:22,525 --> 01:13:25,353 Come, come. Let's see... 732 01:13:25,959 --> 01:13:28,991 - The blankets - What? - Damn, the blankets! 733 01:13:34,486 --> 01:13:37,454 - Excuse me, for the stadium? - I'll guide you, do not worry. 734 01:13:37,462 --> 01:13:42,989 Fantozzi, come! As I said, this is our lucky day! Climb in! 735 01:13:45,550 --> 01:13:50,841 - Good day. - A pleasure. - Accountant Ugo Fantozzi. - Nice to meet you. 736 01:13:51,481 --> 01:13:52,832 Excuse me, is this occupied?. 737 01:13:53,038 --> 01:13:57,804 - Please, pass, pass. - Thank you. How kind. Thank you. 738 01:13:57,891 --> 01:14:00,345 - Very kind. - Please. Thank you. 739 01:14:00,547 --> 01:14:03,932 - Let us sit there. - So kind! 740 01:14:12,968 --> 01:14:18,194 It was the day of the terrible friendly match, Italy vs Scotland! 741 01:14:19,279 --> 01:14:23,061 Here they are, our loyal adversaries! How do you say: "May the best man win"? 742 01:14:23,073 --> 01:14:26,465 - "Win the best". - "Win the best"! 743 01:14:28,425 --> 01:14:31,617 - Are you sure that's correct? - Sure, "win the best". 744 01:14:31,820 --> 01:14:33,728 I'll try again. 745 01:14:33,837 --> 01:14:35,731 "Win the best"! 746 01:14:37,172 --> 01:14:40,239 I think I have a very heavy lisp. 747 01:14:40,247 --> 01:14:41,963 - In English? - Scottish. 748 01:14:42,065 --> 01:14:43,474 Guys, let's show them... 749 01:14:43,475 --> 01:14:44,873 - Who We Are! - TOURIST TOUR 750 01:14:44,874 --> 01:14:46,272 - HOOLIGAN TOUR 751 01:14:46,678 --> 01:14:50,585 Man the starboard stations! 752 01:14:50,791 --> 01:14:53,143 - Aye aye! - Hurry up! 753 01:14:54,745 --> 01:14:58,528 But how do we "man the battle stations"? 754 01:14:59,039 --> 01:15:00,772 Keep your head down! 755 01:15:56,173 --> 01:15:59,762 - All aboard! - Attack! Onwards! 756 01:16:07,156 --> 01:16:09,825 I still do not understand how this device works. 757 01:16:10,032 --> 01:16:14,144 Excuse me, sir, could you tell me how it works, because we did not ... 758 01:16:14,345 --> 01:16:17,253 - It's easy. Put the torch right there. - Here? 759 01:16:20,656 --> 01:16:23,007 What did you do, Fantozzi? 760 01:16:23,731 --> 01:16:26,117 - Hey, he won't shake hands. - Not the handshaking type. 761 01:16:26,327 --> 01:16:29,123 You may feel like you have a hole in your stomach. 762 01:16:29,124 --> 01:16:33,554 - A great vacuum, yes. - Bye. Good day. 763 01:16:47,875 --> 01:16:50,360 - Accountant! - What's up? - Come here! 764 01:16:50,870 --> 01:16:52,399 - Where? - All aboard! 765 01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:56,292 - How? - Wow! - Tackle! 766 01:17:18,409 --> 01:17:21,039 Here you go, Accountant! 767 01:17:32,268 --> 01:17:37,539 Now we're at the Scots' gate. We need a battering ram. 768 01:17:37,740 --> 01:17:44,078 - Excuse me. What's happening? - Right on time. You know how to "battering ram"? 769 01:17:44,290 --> 01:17:50,038 - Battering ram! - Me?. No, no, not the ram! I never did the ram! 770 01:17:58,189 --> 01:18:01,995 Look Fantozzi! Accountant Fantozzi, what are you doing? Come on! 771 01:18:03,780 --> 01:18:07,251 Come Fantozzi, I'm here! 772 01:18:07,934 --> 01:18:13,458 Come Fantozzi, we conquered the Scots' own bus! 773 01:18:16,002 --> 01:18:19,027 Climb, climb upstairs, 774 01:18:19,037 --> 01:18:21,502 it will take us to the stadium. 775 01:18:27,025 --> 01:18:30,769 Here it is so peaceful! Viva Italia! 776 01:18:32,257 --> 01:18:35,608 - Go? - All is well. 777 01:18:40,225 --> 01:18:43,630 - Watch out, Filini!. - No problem! 778 01:18:47,155 --> 01:18:49,307 Do you mind... if I climb downstairs? 779 01:18:49,831 --> 01:18:53,683 After the ferocious Italian attack that broke the enemy lines, 780 01:18:53,965 --> 01:18:55,859 an unstoppable Scottish counterattack 781 01:18:55,862 --> 01:18:57,695 with heavy artillery and tanks 782 01:18:57,799 --> 01:19:00,567 emerged from the Headquarters of the Scottish forces 783 01:19:00,974 --> 01:19:03,803 Thanks, Ciotti. On the north side of the Italian fans 784 01:19:03,810 --> 01:19:06,159 there is an intense exchange of gunfire 785 01:19:06,166 --> 01:19:08,135 supported by helicopter bombing. 786 01:19:08,143 --> 01:19:09,831 Ferretti here, south side, 787 01:19:09,932 --> 01:19:12,628 I'm hearing the bellicose war chants of the Scots 788 01:19:14,554 --> 01:19:17,582 - But where are we? - What does it say? 789 01:19:17,789 --> 01:19:22,696 - Excuse me, which tickets did you buy? - What? These are the tickets. 790 01:19:22,901 --> 01:19:27,684 Audible. Fascinating, huh. 791 01:19:27,794 --> 01:19:32,324 I have to give you rather disturbing news. We are in the Scottish trenches! 792 01:19:32,926 --> 01:19:36,277 Animals! Animals! 793 01:19:47,744 --> 01:19:50,208 "How do you do?" 794 01:19:52,876 --> 01:19:56,921 Do... some Scot music. The Scottish anthem. 795 01:19:57,409 --> 01:20:00,044 "You know it." Touch. 796 01:20:01,603 --> 01:20:05,351 "Win the best!" I play the anthem 797 01:20:06,675 --> 01:20:08,988 "Hymna Scottish" 798 01:20:17,099 --> 01:20:19,007 "Moment" 799 01:20:32,995 --> 01:20:35,069 Sorry 800 01:20:35,971 --> 01:20:39,955 "God"! "Strangers in the night"! "Scotch Whisky"! 801 01:20:46,415 --> 01:20:49,045 Beautiful and talented. 802 01:20:50,289 --> 01:20:54,692 A historic ceasefire agreement in the Philippines between the government 803 01:20:54,703 --> 01:20:59,065 of Corazon Aquino and communist guerrillas was signed today, 804 01:20:59,076 --> 01:21:03,581 that covers the whole archipelago for 60 days. 805 01:21:03,789 --> 01:21:07,254 It is the first time in 17 years since the guerrillas 806 01:21:07,463 --> 01:21:10,298 and the government have come to an agreement 807 01:21:10,299 --> 01:21:12,207 Ugo! What happened?? 808 01:21:12,416 --> 01:21:15,448 What do you think happened to me? Nothing happened to me! 809 01:21:15,651 --> 01:21:19,399 Just work! Overtime, all day! 810 01:21:19,605 --> 01:21:23,558 What do you think I do? You think I have fun, huh?? 811 01:21:24,238 --> 01:21:27,748 You just arrived for the little rehearsal. 812 01:21:27,753 --> 01:21:31,985 Don't bother me with the monk-- the little girl's test! 813 01:21:32,386 --> 01:21:34,771 I would also like to see, if I do not work, 814 01:21:34,982 --> 01:21:39,844 Who will eat in this house! Quie... Who... who... co... eats? 815 01:21:44,088 --> 01:21:47,678 You're right. I'm sorry, Ugo. 816 01:21:55,191 --> 01:22:01,094 No, Pina. I'm sorry, it's my fault. I am very tired. 817 01:22:01,103 --> 01:22:04,926 These are just hooligans that are not affiliated 818 01:22:05,136 --> 01:22:08,368 with true supporters, and they have ruined 819 01:22:08,372 --> 01:22:12,883 with this unforgivable attitude, something which should be a celebration of the sport. 820 01:22:13,404 --> 01:22:17,710 We can display images, several very eloquent photographs, 821 01:22:17,717 --> 01:22:20,347 documenting one of the most reprehensible incidents. 822 01:22:20,553 --> 01:22:25,495 The protagonist is a man, that looks like an Italian supporter. 823 01:22:25,705 --> 01:22:29,254 Rowdy, violent, and as you can see on his face, 824 01:22:29,260 --> 01:22:32,931 a load of hatred that is not suited at a sporting event. 825 01:22:33,434 --> 01:22:35,140 That is all. In other news... 826 01:22:35,141 --> 01:22:36,439 Can I tell you something? 827 01:22:37,408 --> 01:22:40,214 - Yes? - You suck. 828 01:22:40,224 --> 01:22:44,789 ... we should really ask ourselves, with growing concern, 829 01:22:44,797 --> 01:22:47,424 is this the road we want to walk?. 830 01:22:53,783 --> 01:22:56,535 - Happy birthday, Ugino! - Congratulations, Dad! - Thank you. 831 01:22:56,579 --> 01:23:01,644 # Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you ... # 832 01:23:01,851 --> 01:23:04,725 Enough, enough! Pina, set the table! 833 01:23:08,082 --> 01:23:10,717 - Let's sit down, sit down. - Yes. 834 01:23:10,718 --> 01:23:12,825 Sit down, come on... 835 01:23:15,231 --> 01:23:17,105 Well done. 836 01:23:21,262 --> 01:23:23,726 Fuck. Why doesn't mine ever work?? 837 01:23:23,738 --> 01:23:26,368 I'm sorry, Ugo. Like this. 838 01:23:27,732 --> 01:23:31,685 - Ugino, you cut the cake. - Knife! 839 01:23:40,593 --> 01:23:43,386 By Alpha Centauri, do you ever sharpen that knife?! 840 01:23:43,588 --> 01:23:46,303 Where is... the chair... the ...? 841 01:23:49,938 --> 01:23:51,649 Here? 842 01:23:58,126 --> 01:24:00,716 It is very... comfortable. 843 01:24:01,840 --> 01:24:05,714 No. I'll close it. 844 01:24:10,667 --> 01:24:13,813 It is down here. 845 01:24:14,022 --> 01:24:16,249 We must remember, Pina. 846 01:24:16,259 --> 01:24:19,049 You close them, for Pete's sake... 847 01:24:25,165 --> 01:24:27,721 Now you sharpen. 848 01:24:39,743 --> 01:24:43,646 I told you to disconnect the videophone, didn't I? At least today. 849 01:24:43,657 --> 01:24:46,163 Excuse me. 850 01:24:46,413 --> 01:24:48,242 Now what? 851 01:24:53,523 --> 01:24:55,431 What is that?? 852 01:25:02,569 --> 01:25:04,142 How is it? 853 01:25:05,584 --> 01:25:08,090 Which number is it? 854 01:25:10,936 --> 01:25:12,924 - Good morning. - The Sidereal Manager. 855 01:25:12,933 --> 01:25:14,631 Did I disturb you, dear Fantozzi? 856 01:25:14,632 --> 01:25:19,524 No, no! It is an honor for us. 857 01:25:19,563 --> 01:25:22,631 I called, first of all, to wish you a happy birthday. 858 01:25:22,838 --> 01:25:25,667 - You remembered? - Of course. - Thank you. 859 01:25:25,674 --> 01:25:31,383 - And, for one more reason. A most personal one - No. Really? 860 01:25:31,825 --> 01:25:34,051 VERY... personal. 861 01:25:36,298 --> 01:25:39,524 - Me? - Ah, yes, I understand. Out, out, out, 862 01:25:39,533 --> 01:25:42,686 - We need to talk about work. - I understand. 863 01:25:48,759 --> 01:25:50,475 Go on. 864 01:25:50,477 --> 01:25:54,868 Look, Fantozzi. You must lend me your house for an hour. 865 01:25:55,070 --> 01:25:58,661 - Excuse me? - I'm here with a lady... 866 01:25:58,664 --> 01:26:01,372 and I have nowhere to take her. 867 01:26:04,535 --> 01:26:08,000 - Why not take her to your house? - Please? 868 01:26:08,210 --> 01:26:11,419 My... my... house... my house? 869 01:26:13,881 --> 01:26:17,152 Immediately... Hey ... 870 01:26:17,356 --> 01:26:21,389 Could you, please, just come tomorrow? 871 01:26:21,590 --> 01:26:27,497 No, I'll explain. Today, for me, is a special day. 872 01:26:27,701 --> 01:26:32,290 It's my birthday. we got cake and champagne. 873 01:26:32,493 --> 01:26:36,163 Right. Leave everything there and keep the champagne cold. 874 01:26:36,367 --> 01:26:38,832 On ice. On ice. 875 01:26:39,203 --> 01:26:44,667 I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Leave the key under the mat. 876 01:26:44,875 --> 01:26:47,623 Under the mat. 877 01:26:56,537 --> 01:27:00,887 Pina, I... it's not my fault. 878 01:27:02,248 --> 01:27:05,156 I was so happy, with this feast. 879 01:27:05,364 --> 01:27:07,954 It doesn't matter, Ugo. You know how these things go. 880 01:27:08,160 --> 01:27:10,548 - No, this is ...my birthday. - All right, all right... 881 01:27:10,556 --> 01:27:15,878 This is my drink to his face. That arrogant asshole that... 882 01:27:15,988 --> 01:27:20,254 It's because you have to. I will have my party. 883 01:27:20,461 --> 01:27:23,130 - Take the helmet, Dad. - No, I don't want to. 884 01:27:23,137 --> 01:27:27,290 - It's mandatory. - Eh, open the hatch. 885 01:28:10,186 --> 01:28:13,094 Come! Come on, Pina, Why the long face? 886 01:28:13,102 --> 01:28:17,732 Nothing happened. Who cares, let's celebrate! 887 01:28:18,374 --> 01:28:21,009 We are fortunate! 888 01:28:21,808 --> 01:28:26,038 We are fortunate! Fortunate...! 69805

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