Original subtitles

Excuse me?

My grandparents went on eight dates and they got married and they've been

married for 50 years. So what, go on eight dates with you and then... Well,

don't have to get married if you don't want, obviously.

We can start small.

Go for coffee?

Oh, you ordered for us.

Oh, hey, I have this really annoying work party next Saturday.

I can't go.

Well, it's compulsory.

For you, maybe.

You want to come to a party next Saturday?

Sure.

Yep. I'll

be

there. No, no bugging out now.

Where are you going?

Not telling you.

It's okay?

Maybe just loosen up a bit.

Yeah.

All right, I'm going to order a ride. Where's Pop?

I think he's in the bedroom.

All righty.

Have fun.

I will.

See ya.

Hey, Pop, I'm off.

Okay.

You okay?

Is it just you?

It wasn't an old person's accident. I blacked out for a second.

What? What do you mean? I stood up too fast.

It's okay. Come on.

You all right?

Yeah.

Let's get you in the shower, eh?

You go.

No, I'm going to call and cancel.

Can't cancel now. You've been locked in the house for two years. It's not your

problem.

I'll go.

Little bit late.

Thanks for coming.

Shall we?

Yeah.

So this is where you work? No.

We're in some hipster warehouse down the road. This is the overlord's

headquarters.

We got a fill by a big American company last month, so tensions are high.

These two look like nice, sensible, normal people, right?

Yep, I think so.

We don't have to stay long.

I've got to wear heels.

Okay.

God, this was a terrible idea.

Emily!

Come!

Antonio,

this is Emily Wright and David Wright.

Coach, Brian Wright.

Emily is our editorial writer and reviewer. She does what I used to do,

she's much faster and funnier.

It's good to meet you, Emily.

And what do you do for us, Brian?

Not a lot, to be honest. I'm an accountant at a different firm, not

I'm just an accessory tonight.

Like a corsage.

Well, we're really excited to be working with you all.

Us too.

Very excited. The feeling's mutual.

We got a DJ for tonight, and we thought it'd be cool if everyone picked a song.

Oh, it's just going to be Mr. Brightside on loop all night.

Oh, I love that song. No, no, no.

Pick something that says something about you, or how you feel, or something that

makes you feel good, you know?

That does sound like fun.

Well, welcome, and enjoy yourselves.

I'm sure we'll talk some more during the night.

Absolutely, yeah. It was good to meet you both.

Matt, this is Ryan, as mentioned.

Ryan, this is my boss, Matt. Why did I call you David?

Because you're shit with names. You called me Alyssa for six months.

I did, didn't I?

I mean, you really look like an Alyssa. And yet I'm not.

You definitely look like a Ryan.

That's good.

Matt's not usually this awkward.

I'm really not.

Really nervous.

Excuse me. You good? Yeah.

Nice to meet you. You too.

Yes, he is nice.

He's cute.

Is this the mysterious lockdown boyfriend?

He's just on hire, like an animal wrangler but for awkward introverts at

parties. Nice. Can I borrow him?

How are you doing that?

Well, look, this is the first time I've worn this since my white dad was married

for the third time.

Is it too gay? Be honest.

Really? You look great.

Just have a couple of vodkas and you'll loosen right up. No.

Not drinking. Can't drink.

Oh, no.

That's boring.

I know.

Who cares if he likes you? He's just a new boss.

I am so glad that you came, though. Seriously.

It means a lot. You said it was mandatory.

I lied.

I'll be back.

Hope you're having a good night.

Okay, Cesar.

How's Pop?

Hey. How'd you know that? Lucky guess.

No, I'm kidding. You told me.

When? I think it was like our second time chatting on the bus.

What, like three years ago?

You don't drink wine because you don't like it.

You don't drink the hard stuff because when you're a teenager you overdid it in

this meal that makes you want to vomit.

So you like beer.

But the beer has to be a little bit fruity.

That's mine.

Whatever's on offer.

Okay, date plan.

We need to do something about this situation.

That will kill me if I leave. I thought they'd be drinking and mingling by now.

We need a distraction.

We might just have fun.

You don't know me.

These are all your people, huh?

It's a complete sausage fest. It's a very male -dominated sector. A lot of

beers. I probably think you're one of them, so watch out.

So how did you end up in it?

I didn't want a real job.

Well, well, well.

I lost the bet.

Didn't think you'd show up.

You should have told me. I would have stayed at home or we could have split

money. It was only $10.

Hi, I'm Mike, anyway. Hey, mate. Ryan.

Are you in corporate or credit?

Oh, do you... No, Ryan has a real job.

Oh. Mike reviews the iPhones, but he still has an Android because he thinks

edgy. Yeah, I just prefer an open ecosystem.

What phone did you pick, Mike? Was there Mr Brightside?

Yeah.

Why?

Ah, just fucking knew it. This is why I always have headphones on at work.

Hey, you seen that?

They look stressed in that outfit.

Like when you put a Christmas sweater on your pet. Hey, leave him alone, dick.

What? There's something you'd say. Yeah, about you.

Uh, I'll be back.

Cool.

See? You're such a bitch.

But I love her.

Like the little sister, of course.

There's also the bitch.

Bought at work, dead here. One heart attack. How's your work thing?

Want to send me some notes?

Diet Coke, please.

Hard stuff, huh? Yeah, the bosses don't get to drink at these things.

Please, I have to foot the bill for the rest of us. It sounds like a terrible

deal to me.

So, I read a lot of your reviews.

They're good.

In fact, you convinced me to get this.

Smart ring, really? Didn't I give that like a five?

You get the sleep track in your name.

How's that working for you?

Never been a very good sleeper. Now you know for sure.

Yeah.

So how long have you been with the company?

Yeah, so I...

This rash started developing, but that's because, like, we're sitting down all

day. But I tried to get up, and, like, the skin started flaking off.

Hello, you two.

You behaving yourselves?

Yeah, kind of.

What are you drinking now?

Just juice.

No vodka?

No.

I bet you're missing Gary back now.

I'm okay now.

We're watching a show.

Thank you.

Have a good night.

Love you.

We make do.

We're not usually this boring, I promise.

I know, it's all good.

I'm having fun.

Do you want a drink? Drink? Shit, yeah.

That's back.

What do you see yourself doing for business?

I should probably say exactly where I am, but better and making more money for

you. Please, you can be honest.

No,

I'm not drinking.

Oh, really?

One nap says cheers.

Oh, okay. Maybe just one.

Here you go, mate.

Beer's up. Thank you.

Oh, no, no.

That's from Antonio.

He says cheers.

Oh.

Oops, used my first hand.

Hey, I like beer now.

Do you?

No, I really don't.

Are you holding up the bar?

I think it's holding me up.

I promise we'll leave soon and I'll get you a kebab or something.

Are you kidding me? This is literally the most fun I've had in years.

Want a drink? It's on me.

Pretty sure it's still an open bar.

Sure.

I might

be

crowded.

I've been learning.

All right.

Shots. Oh, no, I said I wasn't drinking tonight. I've already had three beers.

Come on.

It's his birthday.

Really?

Yeah. Happy birthday.

All good. All right.

Nat,

we're doing shots.

No, no, no. Hey, it's his birthday. Really? Yes.

Happy birthday.

Thank you. Okay, just one. Just one. All right.

Me too. All right, all three. Happy birthday.

Oh, these fucking shoes.

Okay, one more.

This one's on you, Antonio.

Yeah.

Okay, last one.

Oh, the team.

So the new team.

Okay.

Oh, Mike.

Oh, Mike.

Go over. Over the glass. That's it. Over the glass.

Over the glove.

Sorry, do you have any day and night?

Yeah. Here you go.

My body's upset with you.

Celebrations.

Yeah, I'll get some water. One sec. I got a water. Thank you.

Sit down.

All right.

I can do it. I can do it.

I forgot I'm wearing pantyhose.

Can you copy me?

Sure.

Good luck.

Thank you.

All good?

Thank

you

for plus oneing me.

What have I dragged you away from? What would you normally be doing on a

Saturday night?

Let's see.

Finding my workload.

Maybe watching TV with my grandparents.

Yeah.

Less skirt.

More sweatpants.

Couch. Tie takeout.

Stalking my old high school friends on Instagram and Facebook to make me feel

better about my life.

Man, this night has really held us back from living our best lives, hasn't it?

Was it you?

Really?

That is a bold choice.

Now you target audience.

Here we go.

Wait for it.

Here it comes.

Wow.

You read them perfectly.

Well, you assisted.

Can you read me?

What do I need?

Is this your song?

Ah, yours!

Nice! Well done, I haven't heard this song in years.

Oh my god.

So...

How you guys doing?

Great.

I'll be back. Right.

See you in a bit.

Well, you look happy.

You know, I don't think I've ever seen you look happy.

I like this look for you.

Meanwhile, I have the drunk sweats. Oh, my God.

I've got deodorant on.

It's not too bad.

I've been shitting myself all night.

Shall we get out of here?

Copters crashing in the ocean from way above.

Got the music in your baby, tell me what.

Got the music in your baby, tell me what.

You've been wanting it forever and you just can't say goodbye.

The love is wrapped in your arms.

You've been hiding them and hollowed out pianos left in the dark.

Got the music in you, babe, it's sounding right.

Got the music in you, babe, it's sounding right.

Say goodbye

Your lips, my

lips Apocalypse Your

lips, my lips

Apocalypse

Go and sneak a cigarette

Oh,

please.

Come on. I know you want me. Come on.

Got the music in.

You okay?

I have a boyfriend.

Why didn't you tell me?

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