Original subtitles

What do you think?

First impression.

Workmates. All friends of friends.

They're standing very close.

It's a crowded bus.

He's smiling.

He's too enthusiastic. He's being polite and he keeps looking around.

Maybe he's looking to see.

Maybe.

Wait, so if I'm talking to a guy and he's smiling, it's just out of

Yeah.

Or he likes you.

It's a pretty wide gulf.

There you go.

That's way too handsy for work, colleague.

God, they're really going for it with their masks now.

Yeah, it's a little eerie.

It's like the start of a zombie movie.

You know I got yelled at for standing too close to somebody at the checkout

line? People are losing their fucking mind.

And Gaia works, so they're going to announce a lockdown soon.

A lockdown?

Lockdown of what?

Of us.

Everyone, we'll have to stay at home for like two weeks to stop the spread.

We won't be able to leave except for food and emergencies.

Oh, God, it is like a zombie movie.

Next thing, there's a title card like 10 years later.

We've all got beards and shaved heads and we're fighting over canned meat.

I'm not fighting you for canned meat. That's all yours.

And how do you reckon you'd go with a shaved head?

Knowing my luck, I'll end up with a beard instead.

See? Friend's a friend.

Aww.

Oh.

What the fuck?

Yeah. There was no need for that.

That's what you do when we go our separate ways, isn't it?

See you tomorrow.

Unless they lock it down.

Oh, well, if they do, I'll just see you out in the wastelands then. I'll be the

one with the fucking weird machete hand or the beard.

Goodbye!

Workers are back in the office for the first time in two years after COVID

restrictions have been drawn back. A lot of the things we haven't been able to

do, we are now able to. Australians are getting back to work. Lockdown is over,

but it has come at a huge cost.

Hello stranger.

Well, well, well.

She returns.

In a while.

Been a long while.

Did you get called back into the office?

Yep. New management demands it.

You? Yep.

Been back for a couple of months now.

You're a fucking friend with Riot.

Who?

Oh, right.

Yeah, he moved to the mountains right at the start, traded his shirt and tie for

a flannel, lived off the land now.

Pushed all in on apocalypse, huh?

You've got to respect that.

So what have you been up to for, what, two years?

You know, baking, gardening,

you know, Zoom meetings and existential crisis.

At least you've got both your hands still and full head of hair.

No beard, sadly.

Stephen King or Danielle Steele?

Close.

Oh, of course.

This is what you've turned to in my absence.

Russian philosophy. What have they done to us?

Well, what kind of ambitious literature were you reading during lockdown?

Reading? I just binged Tiger King and Squid Games like every other basic

arsehole.

So many empty fates.

Yeah, you said, yeah.

Well, I'll see you tomorrow, I guess.

Yes.

Hey.

Excuse me?

I promised myself if I ever saw you again, I'd ask you to marry me.

As much as I really don't want to go to work today, I don't think that I can

pull the I am late because I'm getting married card until at least a couple of

weeks in.

Yes, that's smart.

At least until a few weeks in.

Look, I've had a long time to think about this.

Maybe too much time.

Maybe too much time.

I think Dostoevsky's had a little too much influence on you. Was he running

around Russia proposing to women?

Ospensky, actually.

Ospensky. No, okay, so my grandparents, back in the day, they went on eight

dates and they got married, and they've been married for 50 years.

So not any Russian philosophers your grandparents are to blame.

They are.

So what, go on eight dates with you and then... Well, we don't have to get

married if you don't want, obviously.

Look, I just always like seeing you on the bus.

It's easily the highlight of my day.

I didn't think I was going to see you again.

Me neither.

No even dates anymore.

I don't know.

It's very old school.

Feels like we've been doing it wrong lately.

There is a distinct lack of wooing.

We could start small.

Go for coffee.

You're not a fucking weirdo, are you?

Um, I don't think I am.

I mean, I'm not just randomly asking women to marry me. Just me?

Yeah, just you.

I don't know, man. This might fuck up the bus thing we've got going on. Yeah,

but I think I just did that already.

Hold it.

It's you?

That's me.

You are a brave one leaving your airdrop wide open. How are you not limbing and

dick pig?

I don't think I'm the key demographic.

Are you being serious? Your last name is Wright?

I mean, I have no reason to lie. Why?

That's my last name.

Fuck off. I'm serious. Ryan Wright. Oh, God. We're not related, are we?

Okay, I'm descended from the English Wrights. What about you?

Scottish.

My pop did the ancestry genealogy thing during COVID.

Yeah, same.

I could have made for a very awkward coffee.

Very.

Well, hey, at least if we do get married, I won't have to take your last

because I already have it.

See, you don't even really need me.

You literally have nothing at all to lose now.

Good morning, mate.

Oh, yeah?

Morning.

Guess who came second in the over -50s watercolour category at the Archive on

the weekend?

Whoever the poor guy was behind you, I'm betting.

No, it was me.

I was so close.

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

How did that get second prize?

I'd love to see who won first. Oh, OK.

What?

That's a bit of shit, if you ask me. You got robbed, Helen. It's nice to get a

little ribbon, though, I'm not going to lie.

Well, don't forget about the rest of us back here when you're a famous artiste.

Fat chance.

Looking at porn again?

So what if I was?

Mike, there's shit all else to do here. You know, I could be at home fucking

around and doing nothing.

Lucky you, they want to do an editorial meeting in five.

Oh, can I just zoom in from my desk instead?

Nope. The new overlords require meat presents.

They're psychopaths. Mike, nobody wants this. It's better when everyone's just

in their little box on the screen.

Admit it, Em.

You missed everyone here, didn't you?

Smells like beard oil in here.

I hope Gary's retirement is awful.

What a selfish, greedy sellout. Yeah, I heard he started a charity. Of course he

did. What a dick.

Meeting time.

Here we go.

You look so good in person.

What do I look like on screen?

We can hug again.

Oh, did we ever before?

No, but we should have.

Don't inhale, Nat. Makes it even weirder.

Okay, okay.

I just really missed you.

Both of you. Oh, Mike too? That kind of cheapens the sentiment.

Did you both see my email?

You send quite a few emails, Nat. You want to be more specific?

The one about the welcome party for the new corporate stakeholders.

It's a nice way of putting it. What about this party?

Oh, it's compulsory.

Sorry.

Welcome, everybody.

Well, this is nice, isn't it?

Are we all well?

What time do you finish up?

Okay, where should we begin?

Mike? Yeah, um, so did anybody watch Squid Game?

Like, that was amazing. You know, like the last three episodes?

You bet they were playing that Marvel game. You know that? Remember that?

Who's there?

Kidding. About 4 .30.

Yeah?

I can leave whenever I want.

4 .30 then?

Sure.

I'll get this over with.

Excuse me, do you have any sugar?

Yeah, just in the pot.

Oh.

I got you something for our first date.

Corsage, I hope.

Jesus.

Whose dick is that? I don't know.

I just scoured the internet until I found the best one.

Is this your dream dick?

No.

It's the best one for you. I was being thoughtful.

So you spent your first day back at work scrolling through dicks to find the one

that said the most about me?

That's pretty thoughtful.

Do you feel violated?

A little bit, yeah.

It's kind of like a slap in the face, isn't it? Every time.

Every time?

Mm. How many times is this happening to you? I have something of an online

following, so every now and then I'll just open my DMs and it's like, bang,

dicks everywhere.

Wow. Cool.

You've never set one?

No.

Absolutely not. I mean, I barely look at my own dick. Why would I want to

subject someone else to it?

See, now you're just talking common sense.

Oh, wow. You really do have a following going on. You've got the blue tick and

everything.

Wait, you're telling me you didn't already cyberstalk me today?

Honestly, no.

It never really occurred to me. Why, did you?

Yes.

I didn't even have to put my detective hat on. Your socials are wide open.

You really walk between the raindrops, don't you?

I never really had anything to hide.

Didn't know I was going to get cyber -stalked. Not even by the girl you want

marry from the bus?

Yep.

Can I follow you?

You think we're ready for that?

It's a day for living on the edge, I guess.

Tech writer and reviewer?

I thought you said you were a journalist.

Ouch. No, I didn't mean it. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I did.

Yes, I was just sexing it up.

Ah, okay.

So you get to play with the new iPhones before they come out? No, if you put the

word smart in front of anything dumb, like a smart umbrella.

Or an egg tray. Then I'm spending a few days with it until I find 500 words.

What does a smart umbrella do?

It tells you when it's about to rain and where it is if you lose it.

Oh, you write smart reviews about dumb smart dumb products.

I never said they were smart reviews.

Hey, do you want to get the table over there?

Yep, let's go.

You said you were an accountant.

Can't really sex that up, can I? That's true.

Do you like it?

I don't love it, if I'm honest.

But I don't hate it.

And that used to be enough, maybe.

But not now?

I mean, is anything enough after the last few years?

What would you rather be doing?

I don't know.

Writing. Something, probably.

Something important. Something not.

and hopefully not utter shit.

Well, I look forward to reading that.

I'm sure it's amazing.

What would you rather be doing?

I kind of always wanted to run a coffee shop like this.

Your dream job is to be a barista?

Yes and no, kind of.

I just...

Wanted to own it and run it and, you know, select the beans and make the menu

choices and all that cool stuff.

Then franchise it and retire to the yacht.

No, just one place where people can hang out. That'll be enough for me.

This is actually pretty sweet.

Thank you. Oh, you ordered for us. This is like an old school date.

Oh, wait, you're not vegan or gluten -free or anything?

Maybe I should have stopped you. This is perfect. This is exactly what I would

have ordered.

And you ordered it without pineapple.

Pineapple can be a deal -breaker, in my opinion. It's dicey.

I see what you did there.

It's bad.

You don't like pineapple?

I love pineapple, but I would never put it on the pizza that I was sharing.

It's too divisive.

It's delicious. Thank you. Good.

So, circling back, are you meant to carry this smart umbrella around with

all times, just in case?

You don't carry an umbrella?

Of course not. Do you?

Yes.

Now, this isn't the dumb smart one. This is just a smart...

Normal ones. But it has not failed me yet.

So the huge bag thing isn't just the fashion trend. You actually carry useful

things inside them.

Repair for everything and never need any of it.

What do you do if it rains?

I guess I get wet.

So you don't walk through the raindrops after all.

No.

Where do you want to go next time?

Should we play it by ear?

Yeah. Of course.

Good.

Good.

Hey.

Hi.

What are you two up to?

I'm just waiting for him to decide what to watch.

I don't care what we watch. It's up to you.

Busy meds, Pop.

Hey.

You're home late. How was your day?

Yeah, it was okay.

It was?

Yeah, yeah, it was good. It was good.

You've been crying.

Oh, I'm definitely afraid.

It's on Ian's Facebook.

We should send it next door.

Oh, my God.

Don't start another neighbourhood war, Pop.

I didn't start anything.

Hey, you choose what we watch.

I'm actually going to call it a night.

Are you OK?

Yeah, I just had a big day.

You guys enjoy.

I hope you got a hundred and five.

How was your first day back?

Everybody pumped me back in the office?

Everybody except me loved it.

How was your shift?

Yeah, it was fair, Mum.

I did have one guy who came in who got his hand caught in a metal press.

You've seen, it was like a purple glove full of water just hanging off his

wrist. It was fucking gross.

I don't want to hear this.

You asked.

I was being polite.

Not a lot of feel -good stories coming out of an ER, Emily.

Oh, hey, I have this really annoying work party next Saturday.

I can't go.

Well, it's compulsory.

For you, maybe.

No, I'm working a double.

Since when?

Fuck. Um, since I agreed to work a double.

I was going to cook.

I actually was, but I just, um... Well, I couldn't be fucked.

So, you want to just order some pizzas?

You know what, I actually got something on the way home, so I'm not really

hungry. Yeah, I've heard that bullshit before.

No, I'll get an extra large, but when I get pulling up, you can just pick it off

if you want some, all right?

You want to come to a party next Saturday?

Sure.

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