All language subtitles for The Bride Goes Wild 1948-en

Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education

woman: Morning,
Mr. McGrath.

Good morning.

Have the reporters arrived yet?

Yes, Mr. Myers
has been down twice
looking for you.

Good. Good morning.

Oh, mother goose...

Yes, Mr. McGrath?

I put that raise through for you.

Oh, thank you,
Mr. McGrath.

How are you,
Mr. McGrath?

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning,
Mr. McGrath.

Good morning, miss doberly.

Good morning,
the reporters are in
your office.

Thank you.

Gentlemen.

Together: Mr. McGrath.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

So glad you could come.

We've been looking
at this herd of bulls,
Mr. McGrath.

What's the idea?

We publish the works
of the foremost author

of children's books
in America today,

the famous uncle Bumps.

Oh, yes, uncle Bumps.

My kid has all of them.

His latest book,
to be brought out
by us in December,

is to be entitled the bashful bull.

I see. Oh, yes,
an amusing title.

While he's been finishing the book,

we've conducted
a nationwide contest

to find an illustrator for it.

Um, these are some of
the rejected entries.

The winner is to be chosen today.

Man: Mr. McGrath,

the judges are down
to the last 4 pictures.

Good. Gentlemen.

Those are the 4.

Why kids?

Well, the book is for children,

and we...

miss Martha Terryton,
Ethan Allen grammar school,
cook's junction, Vermont.

Man: All aboard!

Oh, now, aunt Pewtie,
it's not as if I were
joining the marines.

New York is just like Montpelier,

only it's more densely populated.

Oh, I know I've never
been there, aunt Susan,

but I'm over 21,
and cousin Helen
is meeting me at the station.

Oh, Bruce, my portfolio.

Aw, Bruce, don't look so sad.

I'll only be gone 6 weeks.

And, really, uncle Bumps
is quite elderly,

so there's no need...

man: All aboard!

Well, it's all aboard.

Good-bye, aunt Pewtie.

Good-bye, dear.

Bye, aunt Susan.

Bye, Bruce!

Man and woman:
Bye-bye, Martha!

Good luck!

[Train horn blows]

Thank you.

How do you do?
I'm miss Terryton.

Oh, yes!

Sit right down,
Mr. McGrath will see
you in a moment.

Cute.

Come in, Max. Trouble.

I'll sue him, that's what I'll do.

In a courtroom!

Maybe it's not as bad as we think.

You'll have to get up
to lake wanowillow.

Uncle Bumps?
A real wingding.

Left a bar bill of over $400.

And went to Canada.

Did he finish the bashful bull?

Of course he did,
but I've got to have
it right away.

Anybody suing?

Only the hotel so far,

but nose around,

pay off if you have to.

See if the idol of young America

has made any more
of those speeches
against children.

But track him down!

And above all, get that manuscript!

I'll get you some money.

All right.

[Snaps]

Miss Terryton is here.

The contest winner!

Oh.

Might have known
he'd do this to me.

Well, have her come in.

Miss Terryton,

Mr. McGrath.

Hello.

Miss Terryton.

Congratulations.

Do sit down.

Thank you.

Off the record,
your bull was
the best by far.

Oh, thank you.

I just tried to think
as a child thinks.

Really, you've no idea
what this means to me,

the opportunity to work
with you and uncle Bumps.

Mr. McGrath,
the money for Max.

Oh, yes.

And the photographer's
in the conference room.

I see.

Now, miss Terryton,
we have a little
surprise for you.

The judges of our contest,
and their parents,

have come over to meet you

and take a few publicity pictures.

Land of goshen,
I do hope I look
presentable.

You look lovely.

Sort of launch your new career,

without the usual bottle
of champagne, of course.

Of course.

You disapprove of drinking?

Oh, not on moral grounds.

We had rather
an unfortunate case
in our family,

and my aunts are against it.

I live with
my aunt Susan
and my aunt Pewtie.

I see.

Oh.

Now, right about here, huh?

Smile, miss Terryton, little more,

just a... hold it!

Mr. McGrath.

That relative of yours
just came in.

What?

That relative
of yours just came
in with a package.

Oh.

[Items crashing and breaking]

Oh, you'll have
to go on without me.

[Door closes]

[Metal clanging]

It didn't break.

Quick, get the youngsters
out of here before they see him.

Miss Terryton, too.

Tell me when they've gone.

John, sometimes I think
you're ashamed of me.

I?
Yes!

Why, no, Greg,

I love to have
my authors call on me,

especially when they look
so dapper and clear-eyed,

and when they have
completed manuscripts

concealed on their person.

John, I want to talk
to you about that.

You haven't finished it?

Wait, don't tell me.

You haven't even
started it, have you?

Lake wanowillow!

That's the last time
I let you plan
a trip for me.

Croquet, schoolteachers.

So naturally you sought
greener pastures in Canada?

Ah, Montreal!

What a city!

Gay, witty, dark-eyed.

Now you listen to me!

I'm at the end of
my Patience with you
and your jams.

All this time
and still calf-eyed

over that no-good
Tillie Smith.

Ha! Calf-eyed!?

Just how old are you?

Today, 92.

You're behaving like
a lovesick sophomore.

If I don't get that
book to the printers
within 10 days,

I'll miss the Christmas sale

and the book-
of-the-month club.

I'm in no...

get away from that mirror!

You've got a reputation to uphold.

Greg, you've got to grow up.

You're uncle Bumps.

You okayed your pen name.

You agreed to be
wholesome, edifying,
and lovable.

Greg, you're an institution,

children adore you.

Their parents trust you,

and why?

Because I made you
a clean-living,
moral man,

you adolescent sot!

Oh, John!

Such ingratitude!

Tillie the turtle.

Millie the Mallard.

The skinny whale.

A fortune in your pocket,
and now I'm a sot.

All right, you're not a sot.

All I want is the book.

Greg, haven't you
got even the glimmer
of an idea?

No, John.

But Greg!

I could try, I suppose.

Good man, I knew you
wouldn't let me down.

Now, Greg, no liquor,

no fleshpots,

and grow up now!

Promise?

John, due to my adolescence,

I find myself...

yes, I'll have
miss doberly
mail you a check.

The important thing is the book.

Now, Greg, I'm not
going to bother you,

word of honor.
Good.

And I'll even keep
the illustrator away.

Don't worry about her.
Her?

Schoolteacher.

Teetotaler.

Oh.

[Group saying good-bye]

Do phone me,
miss Terryton,
and come to lunch.

The brindley home for boys.

We think it's the finest
orphanage in the city.

Thank you,
Mrs. Carruthers,
I'd love to.

Robert, say good-bye
to miss Terryton.

Good-bye.
Good-bye, Robert.

Now go home and get to work!

Yes, sir, not a drop!

Promise now, word of honor.

I'm going to try, sir,

because it's
the opportunity of my life.

And I want to thank you
for this second chance.

Sir.

Oh, go away.

Beaver, beaver, what'd
I do with my beaver?

Well, if those aren't cute!

Aw, come on, now,
don't be so selfish.

Well, really!

Just one more peek, come on.

Please!

Those eyes!

Like woodland pools.

Go away.

And freckles,

a half a dozen.

Ah! A dozen!

Go home.

I can't.

I've lost my beaver.

You're sitting on it.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, an artist!

Well!

Who is this dasher?

That's Bruce Johnson,
our manual training
teacher.

No nudes?

Certainly not.

A bull!

A little effeminate, isn't he?

That bull is bashful.

A bashful...!

So you're the schoolteacher
who won the contest.

I'm illustrating
the new uncle Bumps book,

if that's what you mean.

A lucky fellow.

Oh, no, I'm the lucky one!

What do you mean?

Oh, you mean because
of the prize money.

Oh, no.

The opportunity to
work with a man of
such high caliber.

Oh, you really think so?

Oh, yes, he's the modern
Hans Christian andersen.

Someday he'll...

oh, hogwash!

Hogwash?

I might have expected
that attitude from a man
of your obvious habits.

At least have some
respect for his age.

Age?

He may be elderly,

but I venture to say
he has more writing
talent in his... his...

his gnarled little finger?

Yes!

Look, honey, what you
and I need is a long,
cool bracer.

Let's slip around
the corner to the oasis.

What?

It's a cocktail bar
with palm trees.

Certainly not.

It has a pale moon,

but we could turn it off.

No, thank you.

Is it because we haven't
been properly introduced?

Naturally.

Oh, how stupid of me.

Could we have a mutual friend?

I doubt it!

And, besides, I have
to ask Mr. McGrath

something about uncle Bumps.

Oh, what do you want
to know about him?

I've met the old gentleman.

Oh, his work habits,
several things.

You know, I don't even
know his real name.

I can't very well
call him Mr. Bumps.

His last illustrator
called him sugar.

You're making that up.

A harmless jest.

How about a short beer?

I couldn't help overhearing

your conversation
with Mr. McGrath.

You promised to go home.

Certainly I have no intention

of starting you out
on another debauch.

On one short beer?

What you need is a cup of coffee.

Oh, you're so right.

A cup of coffee,
then home to my typewriter.

I wonder if I could.

Of course you can!

Oh, but you wouldn't
have a cup with me.

Well, I'm afraid not.

That's always the way, isn't it?

One needs a helping hand,
a grain of sympathy,

one gets advice.
Talk is cheap.

Well, as you say...

Well, you are going
home, aren't you?

They generally dump me
there sooner or later.

I have my name and address
on this little bracelet.

Well, see you around sometime.

Good-bye.

Mister, uh...

Rawlings.

Mr. Rawlings,
would you promise
to have just coffee?

You would come with me?

I have an engagement
for dinner with my cousin,

but I'm not engaged until then.

Ah, thank you, miss...

Terryton, Martha Terryton.

Martha Terryton.

This is a kind thing you're doing,

a good thing!

Here's a place
where the coffee
isn't too strong,

operated by a reformed sea captain.

Hi, skipper!

Hi ya, Matey!

Welcome to the bottom of the sea.

Two, please,

in the soft drink section.

How's that again, Matey?

Come on, come on.

Oh, yes.

This way.

Watch out for the net.

Don't step on the sea urchins.

They're not alive,
but they're very valuable.

Woman: Cigars,

cigarettes.

Hello.

Hello.

Diver, deep 4.

Yes, Matey?

Two coffees tasmanian.

Right, Matey.

Two coffees tasmanian.

Oh, uncle Bumps is back.

Uncle Bumps, where?

I want to get something,
I'll be right back.

Tell me, Mr. Rawlings,
just exactly what
do you write about?

Animals, snails,

ticks, common barnacle.

It's all pretty dull, really.

Coffee tasmanian.

May I have some cream, please?

Oh, no, you don't want any cream.

Cream destroys the effect.

Straight, down the hatch.

Certainly.

I didn't mean for you
to imitate uncle bump...

what is coffee tasmanian?

Has a darned interesting
taste, doesn't it?

It does.

It's a favorite drink
of the tasmanian kings.

It's made with the syrup
of the helioclopsis tree.

Is your hair naturally wavy,
or do you use an iron?

What?

Oh, I mean it's naturally wavy,

especially on misty mornings.

Oh. Heh heh.

Well, to return to our discussion,

is Mr. McGrath publishing
one of your stories?

Things are sort of up
in the air right now,

you know how it is.

Except for your...

Tippling? Yes.

He seemed quite enthusiastic,

at least as much as I heard.

Oh. Perhaps if you could
speak a word in my behalf.

I know, I'll speak to uncle Bumps,

and he'll put in
a good word for you.

Oh, I don't think he likes me.

No man who loves children
as much as he does

could be anything
but kind and generous.

He would even understand
your tippling,

not condone it, mind you,
but understand it.

Well, enough of me, miss Terryton,

now what about
this manual training
teacher?

Bruce?

I've known him since I was 6.

He's really a fine man,
quite intelligent,

and he's so capable with his hands.

You should see the home he designed

for the white breasted nuthatch.

It has a little den.

For who?

Whom.

Whom.

A bird.

The white breasted nuthatch.

Bruce sounds exciting.

Are you more than friends?

Oh, well, we have...

What you might call
an understanding.

After all, he has
his work and I have mine.

We thought it best
to leave it like that
for the present.

Another one?

Why not?

Just one more, it is delicious.

Yes, it certainly is.

Down the hatch!

Martha: Bruce was away
at Penn state at the time,

and naturally when this man told me

it was grape juice I believed him.

He was a surveyor.

The incredutibilitity
of a 16-year-old girl

really,
Mr. Rawlings.

To make a long story short,

I made quite a spectacle of myself.

I remember I couldn't
stop giggling.

Hee hee hee.

My aunt Susan
and my aunt Pewtie
were scandalized.

After I came
to my senses,
so was I.

So you see,
Mr. Rolling,
I mustn't drink,

not even a drop.

Do you know why?

I'll tell you why.

My father drank.

He was an artist.

He's deceased.

The scandalous
things he did
because of liquor.

Really, Mr. Rawlington,
you have no idea.

He was always
running off and
my mother with him.

She's deceased, too.

Oh.

Once they went to Paris
and lived over a cafe,

so you see, Mr....

that's why I must
never ever... ever...

you know,
my aunts say that
I have inherited

certain tendencies.

So does Bruce.

Bruce doesn't know
so much about it
as Bruce thinks...

He knows so much about it.

He's colorblind.

Ah.

Bruce...

I'll watch my own tendencies.

Viligent, that's what.

Ever viligent.

You blew in my ear.

Yes, I did.

Don't you think
that's a little bit
intimate?

Yes, I do.

I'm glad that you agree with me.

What was I saying?

Tendencies.

Tendons?

Oh, the tendency.

Viligent, ever viligent.

You did it again.

I couldn't resist it.

After all, I'm only flesh.

Man: Excuse me.

Hello.

How do you do?

I wonder if you'd
do me a great favor?

You see, I have a little
boy that's 7 1/2,

and he's a great reader of yours.

Later, not now,
I haven't got a pen.

A pen, I have a pen right here.

Thank you ever so much.

What's that?

Coffee tasmania.

This round is on me

with the good brandy.

Brandy?

The imported.

Shove off, cruise.

Why, you trickster!

Cruise.

I'm awful sorry, uncle Bumps.

What did he say?

He said he's sorry.

He said Bumps.

Let's forget it, shall we?

You uncle Bumps?

You must admit it's been
a charming coincidence.

You can't be.

Your caliber isn't high.

You're not a good influence,

you're a bad influence.

Miss Terryton!

[Glasses smash]

Miss Terryton, come back,
you'll fall down!

Take your hands off of me!

Ahh!

Master Donald Driscoll,

187 high street,

lake wanowillow, Michigan.

Dear Donnie,
I'm sure you were wrong.

Uncle Bumps would never
strike a child.

[Door opens]

Miss Terryton?

Hi.

Slippery.

Warm, isn't it?

Can I take you home, miss Terryton?

No, thank you, I'm reasonable

and centrally located.

And safe.

Miss Terryton, is it
possible that you've
been drinking?

Certainly not!

A little.

Some.

I'm pie-eyed!

Now we got a pair of them!

Water!
Water!

Water!

Inside.

It's all right now, just don't cry.

Now, what's wrong?

Oh, no!

Please.

Let me have it.

Miss Terryton.

Miss Terryton!

Miss Terryton, I'm not a PR...

I'm not a prudish
man, miss Terryton,

but I must say I'm shocked.

He tricked me.

Who?

Deliberately.

Who?

He and his silly old
helioclopsis tree.

What?

He played on my tendencies.

Who? Who,
miss Terryton?

I am not a talebearer.

Here.

I should've known coffee
tasmanian wasn't coffee.

Tasmanian.

Coffee tasman...?

Bumps, it was Bumps.

Is he all right?

It did not have
the slightest effect on him.

Good.
It never does.

What kind of man is he?

He looked so innocent,

and his stories are so good
and kind and gentle.

Well, of course they are, so is he.

He is not!

He's a moral fraud.

He took me to a grotto.

A grotto?

Joe's.

Oh.

And he blew in my ear!

I can't find my handkerchief!

Here, here.

Thank you.

Blow, miss Terryton, blow.

[Blows nose]

Good.

What am I going to tell
my cousin Helen?

I can't very well say,
I've been drinking in
a grotto, miss oldfield.

Oldfield!

Helen oldfield?

My cousin.

She's against drinking.

The secretary
of the juvenile
betterment society?

President.

Chairman of childhood house?

President of
the better book
league?

Past president,

but still on the board.

Miss Terryton,
uncle Bumps is
not a bad man.

Hmm.

He drinks.

Yes, he drinks.

I admit it,

but he's an unhappy man.

You don't know the...

cause?

The wellsprings of his drunkenness,

the anguish that drives
him to the bottle.

He's not anguished,
he's gay as a lark.

No, let's not be hasty about this.

Please, I'm expected for dinner.

Really, miss Terryton,
you're being very unfair.

Me, unfair?

Huh!

There was a girl,
they were in love,

about to be married,

then along came a richer man.

Uncle Bumps hasn't
been the same since.

Well, that's no excuse.

Other men have
weathered that storm.

Miss Terryton,
before you condemn a man,

isn't it only fair to give
him an impartial trial?

Isn't it just
common decency to hear
his side of the story?

Is that not the American way?

He didn't get me pie-eyed
the American way!

Hmph!

Down, please.

[Telephone ringing]

It's all right,
miss doberly, I got in.

Bumps: If that's
my little mermaid,

her old speckled trout is out here!

Why don't you stop
taking nice girls
to grottos

and blowing in their ears?!

The little tattletale.

Not at all,
I had to worm it
out of her.

Listen, Greg, she was
burnt to a crisp.

She called you a moral fraud.

She did, eh?

Well, pay her off,
shut her up,
get rid of her.

Listen, Greg, this girl's au...

John, you're in my sun.

Sun.
Oh.

This is...

this is not the paying...

this is not
the paying off,
shutting up kind.

Greg, she walked out
on me, I had to chase
her for two blocks,

phone her cousin, break their date,

and then take her to dinner myself.

Didn't get her
sobered up until
after 10:00.

Do you know who her cousin is?

Helen oldfield is
who her cousin is.

Never met her.

She bans books,

closes plays,

guard the morals of children.

What a family.

In explaining your
infantile behavior
of yesterday,

I was forced
to say that you
were a widower.

Heartless.

Driven to drink by
worry over his son,

a problem child,

a small
juvenile delinquent
of your own.

I haven't got a son.

I'm getting you one.

Ha ha ha!

I promised to show him
to her this morning.

You've gone too far, McGrath!

You blew in her ear, I didn't.

You know I can't stand
kids, they upset me!

I don't digest around them.

Listen, Greg, in comes
the kid and Terryton.

A few suggestions,
out goes Terryton
and the kid,

you go back to
your typewriter,
10 minutes tops.

Here's your hat, now beat it!

Anyway, I'm going to Bermuda.

You're not going
anywhere, you're broke.

You're going to stay here
and be a father.

I'm not even going to be an uncle.

You'll have to get somebody else

to write the bashful bull.

I haven't got any ideas!

And what's more, I can't get any.

But, Greg, they're so easy for you,

you could do it in a week.

You wrote
Tillie the turtle
in a day.

Of course I did,
it was a love letter.

A what?

I wrote it for Tillie Smith,

a romantic gesture,

she was the turtle, I was the frog,

we were in love.

The rest have been
torture, slow death!

Oh, I've got to get to Bermuda.

Greg, look at me.
What?

Oh.

What's the matter?

Tillie phoned this morning
from California.

When does she get here?

Next Friday.

Her husband?

Dead.

Running away won't solve anything.

Face her, Greg,
get her out
of your system!

All right,
I'll face her,
I'll face her,

when I get back,
maybe, but not now,

not just now.

All right, I'll arrange
for the ticket.

You can leave on the first boat.

Good.

Providing that you get
Terryton and oldfield
off my neck!

Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's not worth it.

This oldfield dame can't hurt you.

Oh.

Well, can she?

You remember
the purple cowboy,
don't you?

On that children's program?

She drove him off the air,

and all he did was
endorse a pipe tobacco.

I ran into him last week.

He was pawning his guitar.

Me a father!

All right, bring on
the little goon,

but I won't be responsible.

Good man, I knew you
wouldn't let me down.

[Children shouting]

Yes, Mr. McGrath?

As I was saying,

uncle Bumps and I are
in violent opposition

about certain passages
in the bashful bull.

What will the effect be
on the 8- or 9-year-old mind?

Mr. McGrath,
we encourage
outside activities.

How about Robert?
He's 8.

Yes, but what we
had in mind were
the reactions

of a boy with,
shall we say,
delinquent leanings?

We do have some mischievous ones.

Boy: Help, help!
It's in my pocket!

Help, get it out!

Hurry, get it out!
Get it out!

Get it out!

Robert, what on earth...

Danny put it in my pocket!

Danny?

Danny!

Danny?
Danny.

Danny!

Ma'am?

Danny, why did you
put that snake in
Robert's pocket?

He wouldn't play octopus.

Danny, come here.

You never said...

There was going to be any water!

You never asked me.

That's my boy.

[Buzzer]

Here's the little lad, Greg.

Haven't had a chance to explain
our problem to him,

but you brief him

while I wait downstairs
for miss Terryton.

Well, my little man,
what's your name,

freckles?

Danny.

Oh.

Say, now that's a peach of a name.

You know what they call me?

Uncle Bumps.

I write stories for
little boys like you.

You've read my stories,
haven't you?

A couple.

Good, weren't they?

No.

What's the matter with them?

The type's too big.

Of course it's big,
they're for children.

Who cares about Millie the Mallard,

a girl duck?

It sold 360,000 copies,
that's who cares about it.

What have you got there?

Ants, to put down people's backs.

Well, there'll be none
of that around here.

You want to make a bet?

Those are mine!

[Screams]

Say, I don't want to be adopted.

Brother, you're safe.

Suppose Mrs. Bumps
wants me.

There is no Mrs. Bumps.

Good!

Oh, you don't like women, eh?

Hate 'em.

Why?

They're always patting
ya on the head.

Oh.

Do you like 'em?

Hate 'em.

What do they do to you?

Oh, snitch on me.

Look, I want to play
a trick on one
of them right now.

That's why I got you over here.

You got any snakes?

This is better than snakes.

You're going to pretend
you're my son
and call me daddy.

Why?

Because she's mad at me,

but if I have a son like you

she'll feel sorry for me.

See?

What'd you do to her?

I blew in her ear.

You did?

Yeah.

Why?

Because she's a schoolteacher.

Oh.

And you'll help me, huh?

Sure.
Good.

For two bucks, in cash.

[Buzzer]

You'll get
the other one
after they've gone.

Now you sit
out there and act
like you live here,

and remember I'm daddy.

Good morning, Greg.

May we come in?

By all means.
Good morning,
miss Terryton.

Morning.

Right ahead.

That's a comfortable chair.

Now first of all,

I think we owe
miss Terryton
an apology.

Don't you, Greg?

Yes, John.

I'm very sorry, miss Terryton,

I acted very childishly.

Can you ever forgive me?

Of course she can,

can't you, miss Terryton?

Mr. Rawlings,
I accept
your apology.

Oh, thank you,

won't you sit down?

Thank you.

After Mr. McGrath's
explanation, I think
I understand.

Certainly
I don't want to
hurt your son,

or you.

Oh, that's very decent.

Yes, that's very decent.

Greg, how is he today?

Oh. Ants in my bed,
just about dawn.

Where he got them,
how, why, I don't know.

Awfully rough.

Land of goshen!

Hey!

Shh! Don't
startle him,

is there another way to the porch?

Through the bedroom.

What happens if you
take him back damaged?

[Martha gasps]

Don't ever do that again, son!

I didn't mean to scare you, daddy.

Daniel, this is miss Terryton.

How do you do, miss Terryton?

Hello, Danny.

Don't stand too close.

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Daniel,
you've forfeited
your playtime.

The terrace will
be out-of-bounds
for 3 days.

Anything you say, daddy.

Why, there's nothing
wrong with that boy.

He's perfectly normal.

Miss Terryton, on my word of honor,

that child is a monster.

That child is an angel.

But, miss Terryton, ants!

Ants in his bed.

You put down my ants!

Oh!

Oh, no!

[Glass shatters]

Oh, you little horror!

You killed my ants!

Oh!

You see, definitely no angel.

Keep away from me!
A good spanking is...

hey, cut that out!

You let me alone!

You're going to get it now!

I am not going to get it!

You can't spank me
'cause you're not my...

Oh!
No, Danny!

Let go of me.

Don't spank me.

You see what I mean?

I'll kick and scratch you.

You let me go!

Oh, that poor boy.

That poor man.

When I whack the pillow,
you holler.

Ow!

Holler.
Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Keep it up and make a racket.

Why?

Danny: You let me out of here!

[Pounding on door]

I'll break the door down! Help!

Let me out!

You let me out of here!

Miss Terryton,
I think perhaps
we'd better go,

unless, of course,
you wish to comment.

Mr. Rawlings.

[Danny throwing tantrum]

How's that again?

Mr. Rawlings,
I didn't want to intrude,

but I could offer a suggestion!

Oh, what's that?

I think you'll
find the root of Danny's trouble

is environmental!

Being cooped up in this apartment

doesn't allow him
to do the normal
childhood things!

That's a very
interesting way
to look at it,

don't you think, John?

Oh, yes.

Oh, well, it's only...!

[Noise stops]

It's only common sense.

Any boy, if he's a real boy,
likes animals,

pets.

You're very right, miss Terryton,

I'll replace those ants, but how?

I know, a picnic.

Yes, a day in the country
is just what the boy needs,

especially after this outburst.

As soon as I find
my hiking things...

Now, thank you, miss Terryton,

and good-bye.

John will stay with me,
if you don't mind.

Good-bye!

Good-bye.

And you and the boy will
feel much better tonight.

You see if you don't.

I'm sure.

Good-bye.

Bye.
Bye.

I'm sorry, Greg.

Did you get my tickets?

The s.S. Capricorn.

Pier 7, tomorrow noon.

And some money.

If you need more, just let me know.

Thanks, John.
Now don't worry,

I'll write
the bashful bull,
or bust.

I know you will, Greg.

I suppose I might
as well take that little
banshee back again.

[Buzzer]

Normal childhood things,
that's fantastic!

I just had to come back.

Suddenly in the elevator
it was all crystal clear.

Mr. Rawlings, I don't
think you and Danny ought
to go on that picnic.

All right, we won't.

With this high feeling
between you, I don't think
it would do any good.

My thought exactly,
we'll put it off.

No, what I mean is,
would you think it
too presumptuous of me

if I went along with you?

I'd be glad to do it for the boy.

I really think I can manage.

I don't mean to impose
myself on you, Mr. Rawlings.

It would necessitate
my breaking a luncheon
date with my cousin.

Oh, well, now,
Greg, maybe that's
a good idea.

I'm sure miss oldfield
would approve.

Should I phone her?

I don't think
we have to trouble her,

do we, Greg?

He'll go.

Miss Terryton and I
will prepare a lunch.

Oh, John!

Oh!

Squishy, ain't it?

Look, it's caught between my toes!

Don't you like to squish around?

No, squish over there.

Look, I'm a great big old fish.

I'm still a great big old fish.

Asleep?

Yeah.

Where's Danny?

Out looking for ants,

a normal boyhood thing.

Mr. Rawlings.

Hmm?

May I talk to you about your boy?

Not now, Vermont,
I've just had my lunch.

No, seriously.

Perhaps something
in your past
has embittered you.

Could be.

Tillie?

Mr. McGrath
mentioned her name.

Mr. McGrath is becoming
a blabbermouth.

So early in life
one often mistakes
infatuation for love.

Listen, I hear
the white breasted
nuthatch.

It's too early for nuthatches.

I there's anything
I cannot abide, it's
a mercenary woman.

Look, what is it you want, facts?

I was only trying to be helpful.

All right, her name
is Matilda Smith.

She has soft hair,
hard eyes, clear skin,

good teeth, and long legs.

I first saw her on
April 15th some years ago.

It was a very romantic meeting.

She paid my bar check.

3 days later we were infatuated.

We went through several
interesting phases.

Her name is now
Mrs. David s. Oliver,

widow of
David s. Oliver,

of oahu, an island
in the Hawaiian group.

At the moment,
she is sitting
on something

in the neighborhood
of 20 million pineapples
and feels fine.

I didn't mean to pry.

How old was Danny
when he lost his mother?

Where was he born?

Danny's birth,
I'll never forget
the night.

It was during one of
the worst hurricanes

that ever struck the new hebrides,

lamps swinging,

the native doctor inching,

fighting his way up
the hill to our hut,

bent against the Gale.

What a proud
and dangerous
night that was!

About Mrs. Rawlings,
Mr. Rawlings,
were you happy?

Oh, we had our ups and our downs,

our smiles and our tears.

We all do.

But it was fun, it was good,

a few mad, wild years,

a tramp steamer, a Chinese junk,

now and then a dress-up
voyage on an ocean liner.

Paris, Istanbul, the grand canal,

spokane.

Oh, my! What an exciting
life you've had!

The color and the romance!

Mrs. Rawlings had hair
just like yours,

but she wore it down
and curled at the ends.

You are lonesome, aren't you?

I don't think
it's the loss
of your wife

that's at the bottom
of your trouble.

Oh?

I think it's Tillie Smith.

Pass over Tillie Smith!

See? Just the very
mention of her name
irritates you,

but believe me, she is
the unimportant past,

and you and your
boy are the all
important future.

Got it.

I suppose if you
want to run away
from your problem,

it's no concern of mine.

Who's running away?

It won't do you any good.

You won't
be happy until you
find the courage

to put her out of your mind...

Courageously.

All right, so I'm a coward!

No, you're cynical
and irresponsible,

but I'd hate
to believe that you
lacked the courage

to dismiss a girl who jilted you.

Oh, put your hair
back up in that bun
and stop yapping.

Yapping!?

Yes, yapping.

Well, I should think
you'd appreciate
some advice.

After all,
I've had enough
varied experience...

in what, bird walks?

You know what you are?
A fussbudget.

Well, really.

A frustrated,
narrow-minded,

Vermont bluenose.

Stop!

Stop? I haven't
even started yet.

I'll bet you've never
even been kissed, have you?

There, I thought not, you spinster!

Spinster!

Hey! Miss Terryton!

I want you to know
I was not yapping,
I don't yap.

A fussbudget, am I?
From Vermont.

Cut me down!
Get me out of this!

Danny!

[Blows]

How do you like it?

Cut that out!

A spinster, am I?

I'll have you know
Bruce Johnson proposed
to me 5 times,

every may day.

Congratulations!

And now as far as I'm concerned,

you can hang there
for the rest of
your frivolous life.

Good-bye!

Miss Terryton!

[Screams]

Danny!

Danny!

[Car horn honking]

[Snoring]

Ants!

You took my ants!

[Thwack!]

Oh!

Martha: Danny!

[Thwack!]
oh!

Danny!

I'm so sorry.

Why, if I had a brat like that...

who's a brat?

You are! Oh!

You come here, you!

You leave him alone!

Greg: Get your hands
off that kid!

Why, you!

You sure hit that old fat man!

A right and a left and a right.

Let me see
that knuckle,
Mr. Rawlings.

Oh, it's just a scr...

where's the iodine?

The nose
and the belly
and the teeth.

That's enough, Danny.

The iodine is in the kitchen
behind the nutmeg.

Say, it must be way
past your bedtime.

No arguments now, Danny.

I'll get the iodine.

I'll slip back before
I leave and tuck you in.

But should I?

But of course, why not?

Well...

Greg: Oh, Vermont!

He was so sleepy he could
hardly see straight.

Find the iodine?

No, the mustard was
behind the nutmeg.

Do you have a small basin?

Basin, why?

Soap and water is
a mild antiseptic.

Oh, it is?

I'll need a tea towel.

Tea towel?

Tea towel.

My, it was quite a day, wasn't it?

Oh, it certainly was.

Say, I'm sorry
I had to slap
that big ape around.

I hope I wasn't too brutal.

Oh, he got just what he deserved.

He attacked you with his satchel.

Say, did you
notice the crowd
on my side?

Did you notice how
your boy looked at you?

Hero worship.

Yes.

Feel better?

Oh, much better.

Can you bend your knuckle?

One at a time is a better test.

Oh.

My aunt Pewtie
sprained her
ankle once.

She did?

[Buzzer]

Oh, McGrath!

Hello, Greg.

Tillie?

May I come in?

I thought you were in California
for a week.

It was dull.

Oh?

Miss Terryton, Tillie Smith.

Tillie Oliver.

Oliver.

Am I interrupting something?

She's illustrating my new book.

How do you do?

I was just washing
Mr. rawling's hands.

Oh, yes.
You must've flown here.

I was in a hurry.

Mr. Rawlings was
in a fight and he
hurt his knuckle,

and there wasn't
any iodine behind
the nutmeg.

Besides, the man
was twice his size.

Nice going.

I guess I better
get back to
my hotel.

Adios!

Mrs. Oliver.

I'll get in touch with you later.

Courage.

What?

Courage.

Oh, thank you,
miss Terryton,
and good night.

I hear they tore down the aquarium.

How was Hawaii?

All right, I made a mistake,

but you were as much to blame as I.

Horseradish, Tillie girl,

horseradish.

If you hadn't been
so pig-headed.

If you'd just come
down to the train,

called me, even,

I wouldn't have gone.

I couldn't have.

Greg?

What?

I cried all during my wedding.

I'm opening mother's house
at lake champlain next week.

Charlie and Myra will be there.

Will you come?

Lake champlain.

I'll get the boat out.

You like boats.

No.

You're sore as a boil, aren't you?

It's all over, Tillie.

You know something?
What?

I don't think it is.

Oh, you don't.

There, you see?
All gone.

Nothing.

Horseradish, Greg boy.

Horseradish.

I'll get you a wrap.

Sleep tight, Danny.

Good night.

Good night.

Martha: Oh.

Vermont, what is it?

Vermont! Oh, iodine.

Wait a minute, I want
to talk to you about
the illustrations.

Greg.

I'll be at the Waldorf.

Make him wash his own hands,
miss Terryton.

He's a big boy now.

[Door closes]

Well?

Might get infected, lockjaw.

Very well, Mr. Rawlings,
hold out your hand.

Ow!

And now, Mr. Rawlings,
may I say that I hope

you find it illustrated
to your liking.

Naturally, I'm leaving.

Oh, don't be so
old-fashioned.

Oh, please, don't misunderstand me.

You may kiss whomever you like.

Oh, thanks, thanks.

At anytime you so choose.

Now that that's settled,
let's forget about it,
shall we?

Oh, it's forgotten,
Mr. Rawlings, completely.

I'm leaving for quite
another reason.

What's that?

I'm sure that
you would find
no inspiration

in working
with a spinster
with a blue nose.

Oh, I never called
you a spinster
with a blue nose!

I wouldn't dream of being
a wet blanket to your fun.

Never called you a blanket.

You're continually
intimating it, which
is the same thing!

If it intimated it,
I unintimate it.
How's that?

You're a libertine!

Yes, I am, of the worst kind!

And you do lack courage!
I...

I'm yellow as a country moon!

Go on, quit!

At last you're expressing
your true feelings!

You want me to quit, don't you?

I don't care, miss Terryton,

you can quit or you can stay.

I'm just a little tired.

Well, I won't quit!

I have a contract to
illustrate a book,

and I'm going to illustrate a book!

And since you resent me...

I don't resent you!

I can assure you
that our relationship

will be as businesslike
and detached as possible.

Good night!

Good night!

If that hand should
smart during the night,

apply a hot compress.

Oh, thank you, thank you!

And what's more,

if I choose to wear
my hair in a bun
I shall do so!

I don't care if you dye
it green and cut if off!

Oh!

What are you doing there?

Nothing.

I don't take up very much room.

I only took you for the day,
and your day is over.

Now come on, get up
and get dressed,

you're going home.

Hurry up, hurry up!

Who was that girl
I saw you kissing?

I saw you through the window.

Tillie Smith.

Oliver.

Come on, get your pants on.

Miss Terryton's prettier.

What do you know
about women, anyway?

After all, you're merely
a small boy with limited
experience.

[Telephone rings]

Hurry up.

Hello? John,
where are you?

Downstairs in the lobby.

Is she gone?
How'd it go?

Well, we went wading,
that's how it went,

and I got bitten!

I like miss Terryton.

And I pity you,
because you're
a natural born sucker.

Look, I want to tell
you something, son,
and don't ever forget it,

there are two kinds of women,

one takes you for
what you are and lets
you be yourself,

the other kind... her type...
are reformers,

with little hatchets
in their fists,

and they'll hack away
till there's nothing left.

Seen a shoe?

You just had it,
what did you do with it?

Here it is.

[Buzzer]

Come on!

Bitten?
By the boy?

No, by a crawdaddy.

I'll make it
up to you, Greg,
believe me.

Well, little lad.

What about that dollar you owe me?

Oh, here.

I'm not going without my shoe!

Here is your shoe.

That's $5, I'll go down and...

keep the change,
please, just good-bye.

Remember, Greg, you sail
tomorrow at noon.

Better get some sleep,
and I'm sorry about
the crawdaddy.

[Telephone ringing]

Hello? Oh, hello,
doberly, what is it?

Mr. Rawlings, we're
at the pier with fruit.

You are sailing in 3 minutes.

Is he packed?
Is he shaved?
Is he up?

What's he saying?

He's not going.

Oh. Not going!?

Here, let me
see the... i...

miss doberly, you're in my way.

I... but... Greg!
Greg, you promised...

but I can write it here
just as fast. Faster!

I've already started it.

Are you forgetting about Tillie?

A pox on Tillie!

Look, if a man
hasn't got courage,
what's he got?

Courage! C-o-u-r-a-g-e!

Courage!

Danny: You brought
it to me!

Greg: Sure!

What is it?

It's an ant house.
See the ants?

Oh, yeah.

See that wire?
Pull it.

That's right, that
opens up the runway.

Look at them go!

Yeah, auggie's sure
making tracks, isn't he?

Hey, do you know him?

Sure, his name's
auggie August, esquire,

auggie for short.

He was raised in a pantry,

came from a modest family
of crumb bearers.

Who are these?

Neighbors. The butcher,
the Baker,

old doc pennyfoot, the undertaker.

See his long face?

Oh, yeah.

Auggie's going
down the hill here
to build a dairy,

that's how he makes his money.

Ants don't have money.

All right, then,
that's how he makes
his living.

Anyway, that dairy's
only the beginning.

From then on,
he's going to have
lots of adventures.

What kind of adventures?

Oh, all kinds,

funny ones, exciting ones.

He'll taking boxing lessons
from a caterpillar.

He'll get mixed up
in a big seed robbery
with a beetle

and have to take it
on the lam under a rock.

He'll go into vaudeville
with a singing cricket,

and he'll fly to the beach
on the back of a Bumblebee

and see the ocean on his vacation.

Has he got a wife?

No!

Why not?

Well, he...

I guess he could.
Sure.

How many kids?

I don't know that yet.

How many cows?

I haven't figured that out yet.

What are you so mad about?

I'm not mad!

Gee, why is it every
time I start an intelligent
discussion with you,

you start an argument?

I'm not arguing.

Look, all I want to know is,
would you, a small boy,

like the story if
you read it in a book?

Just plain yes or no.

Well...

I would like it.

You'd like it.

Why'd you bring me this present?

Because you're a good boy!

I'm not a good boy.

I'm the worst boy here.

All right, I gave
it to you because
you're a bad boy.

Miss Terryton, please.

I could try to be a good boy.

Swell, fine, you do that.

Say, what are
you doing tomorrow
afternoon about 4:00?

Nothing.

You know, I might be
almost finished with
this thing by then.

I'll come over
and try it out on you.

Swell.

Hello, Vermont, how soon
can you get over
to my apartment?

It's Rawlings.
I want to talk to you
about the book.

What do you mean you're busy?

What have you got to do?

All right, all right, I
didn't mean it that way.

As soon as you can.

Thank you,
miss Terryton.
Good-bye.

I just put a dead cat
in Robert's locker,

but I could take it out again.

Haven't you ever had
a present before?

No.

Well, you'll get one now.

Gee, this is a pretty good thing.

Well, I'm glad you like it.

Would you mind moving back?

Is that all, now?

Well, would you please stand up?

[Frog croaks]

Sorry.

[Frog croaks]

You know, if you would
behave yourself,

people might get to like you.

You mean they'll adopt me?

Well, I don't know about that.

They might give it a try.

You stand a pretty good chance.

I'll see you
tomorrow at 4:00.

Well, I don't know. Maybe.

I may be busy.
I'll have to see.
Good-bye.

Good-bye.

[Buzzer]

Come in.
It's unlocked.

[Bell rings]

Hello.

Hello, my name's Johnson.

I'm calling for Martha Terryton.

Oh, she's not here just
now. I'm expecting...

You're not uncle Bumps?

Yes, that's me.

Martha thought
you had a long beard.

You're Bruce.

Yes.

Bruce Johnson. Well...

Yes. We're due
at a party at 8:00.

A friend of mine throws
an annual curry dinner for
the old college gang.

Maybe you know him.
Coco Collins, Penn state '36?

Ran the half mile?

No, I don't
think I've caught up
with him yet.

Yes, well, look here,
Bumps, don't let me
interrupt your work.

I know how it is
when I'm at my workbench
building birdhouses.

Birdhouses.

Now you sit right down here,

and I'll amuse myself.

[Clears throat]

Psst!

Ah-ah! Keep going, Bumps.

I'll get it.

I'll get it.

Hey! My ribbon!

Gosh!

Oh, here, here, I'll fix it.

No, no, I'll do it.
I'm used to this
sort of thing.

No, no, it's my error.

It's my typewriter,
and I can... aaah!

Aah!

Aah!

[Grunting and moaning]

Hurt yourself?

Oh, no, it's quite all right.

This little wheel is bent.

Please... please.

[Buzzer]

Oh, that must be Marty.

Oh, excuse me.

Hello, Bruce.

Hello, Martha.

Martha?

May I come in?

Sure.

Oh, sorry, Bumps.

Well, Marty, honey,
you cut your hair.

Yeah, no bun.

Why, Bruce, darling,
how smart you look.

You're late, honey.
Coco said 8:00 sharp.

Oh, no.

Well, Mr. Rawlings,
I'm afraid we'll have to

discuss your book another time.

Well, I'd like you
to glance through a few
of the pages now.

Please.

Well, as a matter of fact,

I think you might
be quite pleased with
what I've done.

I'll glance through them
in the morning.

Well, I'd appreciate
it if you'd glance
through them now.

Now, I really don't have
the time, Mr. Rawlings.

Greg: Well,
if you'd just...

Johnson:
I'd better stash this.

Aaah!

What happened?

A typewriter fell on my foot.

Well, I'm quite sure it was...

aah!

What did you say?

I said I'm quite sure
it wasn't intentional.

Oh, I'm sure it wasn't intentional,

but nonetheless,
I beg to inform you

that you're not going to
illustrate my book.

What do you mean?

Because it's no longer
about a bull.

It's about an ant.

Oh, well, I can draw an ant.

We have them every summer.

But you won't do.

Good night.

Martha: And furthermore,
Mr. Rawlings...

No furthermores.
Just good night.

Let's go, Marty.
Don't argue with him.

Very well, if that's your attitude.

That's my attitude.

Please.

Good night, Mr. Rawlings.

Hello, Greg?
Greg, this is John.

Yeah... i don't want
to take you away

from your typewriter for too long,

but how's it going? Good?

What? Ants?! A-n-t-s?

But Greg, you... Greg?

Greg?!

Oh.

Max!

Woman on intercom:
He's at the barber shop.

Meyers!

He won't be in,
Mr. McGrath.

His little boy swallowed a cocoon.

What?!

A cocoon.

Oh.

Miss doberly...

Miss doberly!

Oh, miss doberly...

Miss doberly,
he switched ideas on us.

He's abandoned the bull for an ant.

I'm going over there.
Cancel my appointments.

What about the trained goose?

Oh, here, give him an apple.

An apple?

I'm sorry.
I can't see you today.

[Goose squawking]

Charlie!

[Buzzer]

I tried the ant,
Mr. Rawlings.

How was coco's curry?

The least you could do
is take a look at it.

All right, let's see it.

How is Danny
this morning,
Mr. Rawlings?

Oh, him, uh...
H-he's spending the weekend
with his grandmother...

His old granna, Penn state '36.

Oh...

[Chuckles]

After all, they're only
rough sketches.

Mm-mm.

Well, how do you expect
me to draw an ant

when I don't know his character?

The fairer thing
would be to let me
read the text.

Oh, certainly.
I don't want to be unfair.

I'm up to the last chapter.

He has a girl named Annie.

Uh-huh.

[Both chuckle]

Annie is his wife.

That's right.

You misspelled bankruptcy.

Oh, is that all?
Well, how is it?

Oh, it's wonderful.

Oh, you know,
I tried it out on Danny.

He thinks so, too.

Honest, do you really like it?

Oh, yes, I do.
It's easily your best.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Let's take a look
at those drawings again.

I might have been hasty.

Well, now, that's not bad exactly.

Only...

Yes?

He looks cross.

Maybe if he were
a little funnier,
more human.

How do you mean?

I don't know exactly.

Here's a pencil.

Maybe if he were wearing a beaver.

A hat?

Sure.

Like this?

That's it, yeah.

And auggie should carry a cane.

He's quite dignified at times...

That's it.

Oh, and spats...
He always wears spats.

That's it...
That's auggie.

Say, you have talent.

Do I?

Uh-huh.

Where'd you get it?

My father.

Oh, I bet she was
a beautiful woman.

Who?

Your mother.

Oh, darling.

Do you feel like I feel?

Yeah.

You do, don't you?

I feel like you feel.

I'm not standing on
the floor at all.

And you're not coming down, either.

You're going to be
up there for good.

Oh, I wanted this to happen, but...

I was so afraid it wouldn't.

Well, I guess this fixes
Bruce's wagon, doesn't it?

Oh, poor Bruce.

Poor Tillie.

Oh, it's going to be good.

I'll make it good.

No one's going to
make you unhappy
or upset you.

I won't let them.

[Buzzer]

How about the city hall,
marriage license bureau,
tomorrow morning?

Oh, yes.

I'll make it good for Danny, too.

But you've got to
tell him right away.

He did like me, don't you think?

Oh, Martha, there's something I...

[Buzzer]

You better answer it.

No, no, I better...

Please.

All right.

[Buzzer]

Now, Greg,
you listen to me.
You can't...

why, miss Terryton.

I guess I better go.

No, no, no, no don't go.

We'll get rid of him.

Well...

Really, I must.

Well, I'll call you later then.

Will you?

Yeah.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Oh!

Uh... where will you be?

Visiting...
here's the number.

All right. Thanks.

Bye.
Bye.

Not bad...
Charming idea.

Very engaging character.

Yes, she is.

How many pages have you got?

Oh, all but the last chapter.

The brindley home?

She's visiting the brindley home!

Home?!

She'll see Danny!

Danny?!
Well, do something!

I'm so glad you could
come, miss Terryton.

How's the book progressing?

Oh, yes, yes, it is.

Boys: Scalps!
Scalps! Scalps!

Land of goshen!

It's molar day...

The day the dentist comes.

We allow them to play Indian.

It takes their mind off the drill.

Oh.

Today, it's war
between the mohawks
and the paiutes.

[Imitating war chant]

Hey, braves! Quiet!

How!

I'm the big chief.

I'm chief
of the mohawks.
Follow me!

Nurse: Come on!

Oh, no!

You'll have to examine
that filling, doctor.

But, Tucker, I do this for free.

But you said so yourself.
The tooth might have
to come out.

Tucker.

When I get him
in the chair,
quick with the strap.

Be careful and work fast.

Oh, Mrs. Carruthers.

Let me go!
You let me go!

Get that thing out of his hand!

I'm the chief of the mohawks!

You let me go!

Let me go!

You let me go!

Tucker, come here.

When I get
his mouth open...
if I do,

insert the block,
but watch yourself.

A year ago, he sank
an incisor to the bone.

Tch, tch, tch...

You go that way.

All right.

What's your tribe?

Pawnee.

Wrong tribe.

Where's Danny?

What are you?

A friend.

Our tribe has no friends.

You have 10 seconds
to declare yourself.

1... 5... 6...
7... 9...

What tribe you are?

You have 9 seconds.

Aw, I had 10 over there.

That beginner's bush.

What you are?

Uh... paiute?

You are one of us.

How are you, fellas?

Boys: How!

[Boys yelling]

Martha: Wheee!

Are you acquainted with
a redskin named Danny?

Ugh. Him mohawk chief.

Ugh. Where his teepee?

Him at dentist yonder.

Look, braves,
we capture big chief...

Covered wagon waiting.

Him too tough.

Plenty bubble gum
for everybody
if we get him.

Boys: Ok.

Good braves.

Mohawk chief inside.

But if you don't
let me see inside,
your tooth will fall out.

Doesn't that scare you?

Please?

Open up!

Wedge.

Hammer.

Hi...

the mohawks are on the warpath!

Come on! Mohawks!

[Boys yelling]

Ooh!

What is the sign
of the 3-legged bear?

Who cares?
Beat it.

What is the sign?

Greg, Greg, this is
no time for games.

We've got to find him.

Him in ther...
he's in there.

All right, Tucker.

Boys: Hostage! Hostage!

Greg:
Oh no! No! No!

Hostage! Hostage!

Mohawks are attacking!

Greg, Greg, they're dangerous.

Aw...

Scout! Scout!
Hostage! Hostage!

[All yelling]

Not so rough!

Peace! Peace!

I'm too old for this sort of thing.

Mrs. Carruthers: Here! Here!

Stop it! Stop it!

You're playing too rough.

Turn your weapons in to miss baum.

Boys: Yes, ma'am.

Why, Mr. Rawlings!

You're a paiute.

Oh! Ha! Ha!

With war paint.

Oh...

How nice.

Well, Martha, I've got
the most wonderful news.

I showed your sketches
to Mr. McGrath,

and I've never seen him
so enthusiastic.

I had to rush
right over to tell you.

Oh, really?

[Boys imitating war cry]

Here he is.
We got him for you.

Fine. Well, put him
in the bushes.

Yes, as a matter
of fact, he wants you to start
right away, right this minute.

Boy: Bubble gum.

[Boys chanting]
Bubble gum! Bubble gum!

Greg: Well, here's wampum.
Buy bubble gum for everybody.

Now, take him away, braves.

Mrs. Carruthers:
Run along, boys.
Game's over.

[Boys yelling]

Aw...

[Chuckles]

They wouldn't have catched me

if I didn't have to
hold on to my ant house.

Why, it's Danny.

Hello, miss Terryton.

I thought you were
at your granna's.

Oh, she wasn't home, I guess.

Martha, I'll tell you what you do.

You grab a taxi,
and I'll meet you
at McGrath's, huh?

As a matter of fact,
I think I'll put you
in the cab myself.

All right, and you
can tell Danny about
the change in his life.

The 3 of us.

Am I going to live with you?

Of course, Danny.

Why, Mr. Rawlings...

You and miss Terryton.

And you want to adopt Danny.

Adopt him?

Danny is his son.

Whatever gave you that idea?

Danny's one of our boys.

You're all joking.

No, he's been helping
Mr. Rawlings with his story,

and they've become fast friends.

This is the first talk
I've heard of adoption.

I'll go pack
my things now, shall I?

Now, hold your horses, Danny.

You were lying to me.

And to Danny, too.

And just to trick me,
you used a little boy...

Built up his hopes
to get material
for a book.

Oh, how could you be so selfish?

So cruel?

He is not cruel.

This child believes in you.

He loves you.

Danny: No, I don't.

Don't be mad at him.

I don't love him,
and he doesn't love me.

I like snakes and frogs,

and I don't want to be adopted.

I like it here,
and I'm going to stay here
all the rest of my life

because I'm the worst boy
in the whole world.

All right, I apologize.
I'm sorry.

I don't want you
or any part of you.

I just don't... Ever.

Greg! Greg! My lungs
are full of water!

Good morning, Greg.

How did you sleep?

Oh, fine.
I feel great.

I was just looking out
across the lake.

I forgot how blue it was.

Want to sail across?

To Vermont? No.

Well, what's the matter
with Vermont?

Too many nuthatches.

What?

Birds... birds.

Oh.

Let's get Myra and Charlie
and sail up to plattsburgh, huh?

That's the old Greg I used to know.

Man: Mr. Rawlings,
someone to see you, sir.

Danny?
How did you get here?

I ran away.
I came here on the bus.

Who is he, Greg?

He's a friend of mine
from New York.

Are you all right?

I am a little hungry.

Oh, get him something, Steven...

Milk and a sandwich.

What about your friends?

I fed them on the bus.

Yes, madam.

How did you know I was here?

That man at your house.

He told me.

Well, if you came on the bus,

who paid your fare?

You did.
You gave me $6.00.

You can't do this, Danny.

You got to go back.

I'll run away again.

Aw, come on now, Danny.

Come clean.
What is it?

He patted me on the head.

His hands were wet.

He said I needed a shoeshine...

And I don't need braces, do I?

Who said you did?

The man who builds birdhouses.

Oh, the nuthatch.

His name's Bruce Johnson.

Well, what's he got to do with you?

He's going to marry miss Terryton.

When?

Today.

Today?

Then they're going to adopt me

when they come back
from Philadelphia.

Adopt you?

Oh, no, they're not.

How far is
cook's junction, Vermont?

About 60 miles.

I want to borrow a car.

I'll get
my coat and scarf
and drive you.

Come on.

There, you see?
Are you satisfied?

Very well...
You were right.

I simply misread
the sign, that's all.

[Engine struggles and stalls]

Now you've stalled us.

Come, come, come.
You're wasting time,
miss doberly.

[Engine struggles]

Is it broken?

What are you doing?

I am trying to start this engine,

so that we can continue
this wild-goose chase.

It is not
a wild-goose chase.

I have to make my peace
with that girl,

and get those illustrations.

Wiggle your foot.

Then, I have to
locate Greg and get
that last chapter fixed.

Is that chasing a wild goose?

Oh, shut up!
Mr. McGrath.

Miss doberly.

I simply have to get to
miss Terryton's house.

You wait over there.

Does miss Terryton live here?

Yes. She's dressing
for her wedding.

Upstairs?

Certainly.

Martha!

She also said...

Martha! You...

oh, I'm sorry to
break in like this,

but I've got
to talk to you.
It's important.

We'll be downstairs.

Yes?

This is hard for
me to say, Martha...

Yes?

Well, it's about Danny.

Danny?

You don't have to take him, Martha.

I want him.
You want him?

Oh, I mean adopt him.

I don't even
like kids... most kids.

But this one...
Well, I don't know,

there's something about him.

I can't explain it,
but... well, that's
about it.

Oh, then you're getting
married, Mr. Rawlings.

Oh, no, no,
not me. Oh, no.

But you have to be married
to adopt a child.

Oh, no, you're wrong.

That's the law.

No, no, that's not true.

Are you sure?

Oh, yes, I'm quite sure.

Oh...

It didn't occur to you
that we want him, too?

But, Martha, there's a problem,

and you've got to face it.

It's Bruce.
Danny doesn't like him.

He's unhappy.
He's miserable.

He ran away and came to me.

To you?

Yes, he's downstairs now.

You can't do this to him, Martha.

If there's a problem,
we'll work it out.

How?
Bruce will
win him over.

They don't even like each other.

Bruce was going back
to Penn state next fall
for his master's degree.

It meant a lot to him...

But he isn't going now.

He's giving Danny
a home, and an education,
and a chance.

He likes Danny,
or he wouldn't assume
that responsibility.

It'll be a good home, too.

I'll see that it is.

All right, I'll call
Mrs. Carruthers

and tell her he's here.

Never mind, I'll phone her.

I'd rather do it myself
if you don't mind.

Just be sure to tell Danny.

I suppose you don't
think I have the courage
to tell him.

Good-bye, Mr. Rawlings.

Good-bye, miss Terryton.

Sit down, Danny.
I want to talk to you.

This Bruce Johnson
isn't such a bad fellow.

I don't like him.

Well, how do you know?

You've only met him once.

I don't like him.

Can't you give him a chance?

A man's entitled to a chance.

I don't like him.

Well, try to like him.

Is there a law that
says you can't try?

No... do you like him?

No, I must say I don't.

I don't like him, too.

Now, look, son.
He can't be that bad.

You know miss Terryton,

and anyone as wonderful
and kind as she is

certainly couldn't
love a man who was
bad or mean.

Could she?

Well, could she?

I like you.

I like you, too,

but that's beside the point.

Since she's decided
to get married...

Why don't you get married?

Look, if I wanted
to get married,
I'd get married,

but I don't want to get married.

Now, is that clear?

You got something against it?

Yes.
What?

It ties you down.
You can't go anyplace.

You could learn to like it.

Learn to like Bruce Johnson.

He's full of responsibility.

If you'd try...

And she'll help you, too.

She's the greatest
little helper
in 18 states.

When am I going to see you again?

Never... it's too much.
It's too complicated.

You're nice,
but you're complicated.

Now, keep your chin up
and be a good boy.

Let's not go to plattsburgh.

All right.

Let's go to Paris.

All right.

Look, would it make you
any happier if you were
to adopt that kid?

I can't adopt him.
It's the law...

Man and wife.

It has to be a family.

Well, we could be a family.

Why not?
I like kids.

Anything for you, Greg.

Anything.

Yeah, we could do it right away.

Then put in
our application for him.

They'd have to consider
it, wouldn't they?

Sure they would.

Me... a mother.

Then they'd ask Danny, too.

He'd pick us in a minute.

Oh, and, Greg, I know a school...

A ranch in Wyoming.

They say it's wonderful.

No. No school
in Wyoming for Danny.

He's going to be with us.

But Tina's children adore Wyoming.

Oh, and he could come
home every Christmas.

But he's not Tina's kid.
He's my kid.

Well, Greg, be sensible.
We'll be traveling.

Forget it.

Well, do we have to go so all out?

Well, let's not argue about it.

Oh, for Pete's sake,
Greg, don't lose
your perspective.

He's just a kid.

Ok.

And don't be patient with me.

What's come over you anyway?

We used to have fun.

You won't even fight
with me anymore.

No, we don't, do we?

Don't what?

Don't fight.

We used to fight all the time.

Now we don't.

What's biting you anyway?

What a knucklehead I am.

Something definitely is biting you.

Sure... you only fight with
the people you care about,
people you love.

Oh, Tillie, girl,
we're all washed-up.

Don't forget the check.

I'll pay it.

That's how I met him.

Hello?

Let me speak to Martha.

I know she's getting married,
but I've got to talk to her.

But that'll be too late.
I've got to tell her now.

Oh, no! No!
Don't hang up on me!

Is there a small boy
there named Danny?

Well, let me talk to him.

Somebody wants to speak to you.

Hello.

Hello, Danny?
This is Rawlings!

Rawlings!

Yes, Danny, I'm going
to see you very soon...

Because I want to marry
Martha and adopt you.

Do you really?

And I'm not complicated?

No, Danny, no!

But you've got to
stop that wedding.

I don't know how.

Get appendicitis.
Throw a fit!

Yeah, I got it.

Good-bye.

Where's who's-it's?

Who?

Uh, who's-it's...
The girl I was...

Paid and left.
Left?

Well I've got to get
to cook's junction.

You do?

Yes, it's very urgent.

Matter of life and death.

It's a long story.
I can't tell you.

Well, I could take you
down there for $10.

Oh, it's a deal.
Come on.

If the car's back.

Well, let's find out.

Hold your horses, son.

We got to take a look
before you can reach
a verdict.

It's back.

Yeah, I know it is.
I can see it.

Well, now don't fly off
in all directions, boy.

You can't rush it too much.

I see.

That's fine.

Man: Nellie!

Oh, Nellie. Yeah.

Nellie, I'm taking a fellow
down the junction.

Think of anything you want?

Come on, pop.
We haven't got
much time.

All right, son, I'm with you.

Stop thinking, Nellie.

He's in a hurry.
Good-bye.

Greg:
Come on, pop.

You get too excited, son.

You better watch it.

I'm very late.

Now, just a minute, son, fee first.

Oh! Here.

All right.

Well, it's all there.
It's all there.

All right.
Come on!

Check on it, that's all.

Oh, ziggities,
I left my specs
on the counter.

Never mind.
I'll drive.

Are you any good at it?

Yes, yes, come on, come on, pops.

It ain't as if I can't
see without my specs.

Now just hang on, pop.

All right.

Miss doberly, we're moving.

Well, it's Mr. Rawlings.

Don't be ridiculous.

Well, it is.

It's Greg.

He's on another
wingding, miss doberly.

Then we're on it with him.

[Car horn honking]

[Honking]

You're all right, son, good driver.

Don't give him an inch.

He's got plenty of room
to go around.

[Honking]

Come on around!

Greg!

John!

Is he a friend of yours?

Off and on.

Well, he's on now.

Miss Williams, all right.

[Playing wedding march]

Go get 'em, auggie.

[Laughing loudly]

[Playing organ off key]

[Laughing loudly]

[Guests grumbling uncomfortably
and woman laughing loudly]

What's happening, Bruce?

I don't know.

[Woman laughing loudly]

[Man groaning]

Aaah!

Greg! Greg! Slow down!

What's he hollering about?

Greg! Look out!

[Truck horn honking]

What's the matter with that fellow?

Nervous type.

Oh, he is?

Greg! Stop!

I demand you stop!

Greg!

[Miss doberly screams]

He hit it!
It's hay!

That fellow ought to
be in the sanitarium.

Don't worry, he will be.

Greg! Slow down! Please!

There he goes again.

Slow down!

No! No! No!

[Truck horn honking]

You know what's the matter
with that fellow?

He can't relax.

[Gasps]

[Miss doberly screaming]

Keep smiling, pop.

What do you mean
letting those pests
loose in here?

Please, Bruce!

He did it deliberately!

Oh, this wedding is absolutely...

You don't like me?
Well, I don't like you.

Bruce, you stop that!

All right, Bruce.
Break it up.

What's going on here?

Mr. Rawlings!

We sure stopped
that wedding,
didn't we?

Yeah, we sure did.

Bruce: Oh, so
this was some of
your doing, huh?

Just a minute, Bruce.
You stopped the wedding?

Sure.

Oh, Greg...

Bruce: I always
wanted to punch
you in the nose.

Don't you hit my father!

Ow!

Come on!
We got a car!

Ow! Ooh!

McGrath: Greg!
Greg, wait!

McGrath: Greg!

Take it away, pop!

Don't worry about a thing.

Don't worry!

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