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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:33,324 I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way. 2 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:37,495 As I go through life. 3 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:44,794 Somewhere in the world there's a place for me. 4 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:50,424 Somewhere I will find me a new life. 5 00:00:52,426 --> 00:00:55,136 I don't know where I'm going 6 00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:57,265 but that's still OK. 7 00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:01,435 My dream is out there. 8 00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:08,109 Never gonna stop till that dream is mine. 9 00:01:10,152 --> 00:01:14,365 Gonna see what life's all about then. 10 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,953 Gotta get away to go in search for something that 11 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:22,038 makes all the good times. 12 00:01:22,039 --> 00:01:26,209 Let the good times come and turn my life around 13 00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:30,380 I just gotta go and find a future 14 00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,882 and leave the past behind me. 15 00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:38,139 Somewhere fame and fortune's waiting to be found. 16 00:01:41,183 --> 00:01:45,396 And I'm on my way-y-y. 17 00:01:49,525 --> 00:01:53,738 Yes, I'm on my way-y-y. 18 00:02:01,203 --> 00:02:06,459 Somewhere I will find me a new life-e-e. 19 00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:20,597 Somewhere in the world there's a place for me. 20 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:24,768 Gotta get away to go in search for something 21 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,811 that makes all the good times. 22 00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:30,982 Let the good times come and turn my life around 23 00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:35,779 I just gotta go and find the future 24 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,864 and leave the past behind me. 25 00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:43,078 Somewhere fame and fortune's waiting to be found. 26 00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:45,206 Oh, yeah. 27 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:50,419 And I'm on my way-y-y. 28 00:02:57,468 --> 00:03:01,388 I fell in love with Jacqueline Susann the first time I saw her. 29 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:04,517 She was starring on Broadway. 30 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:11,815 Allo? No, madame eez not 'ere. 31 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:15,611 Oh, wait. I'ear her coming. Madame? 32 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,992 OK, maybe not "starring". 33 00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:26,996 Then came radio. Jungle Heat with Florence Maybelle. 34 00:03:26,997 --> 00:03:29,249 Ellen, I think we're really lost. 35 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,585 The native guides and Uboo have disappeared. 36 00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:34,671 Hey? What? 37 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:39,175 We're lost in the jungle. The heat is unbearable! 38 00:03:39,176 --> 00:03:42,345 And acclaimed personal appearances. 39 00:03:42,346 --> 00:03:46,516 We swirl, coat and snack. It's the Swiss sensation. 40 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,186 Oh, shit! 41 00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:55,734 She had it all. 42 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:59,279 She just needed one little thing to make it work. 43 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,322 One final touch. 44 00:04:01,323 --> 00:04:05,952 The one thing every person needs to make life complete. 45 00:04:05,953 --> 00:04:08,663 Miss Susann? 46 00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:11,916 A press agent. Me. Miss Susann? 47 00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:14,836 What? 48 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:18,506 - Irving Mansfield. - And? 49 00:04:18,507 --> 00:04:21,301 We met through Maury Manning. 50 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:24,430 That son of a bitch! That worm! 51 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:29,184 - We gotta talk. - Really? 52 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,772 About the divorce? Did you call a lawyer? 53 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,358 It's not gonna happen. No can do. 54 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:40,320 What do you mean, no can do? You promised! You swore! 55 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:44,824 Look, I'm sorry, cookie. But, we're over. I got a show. 56 00:04:44,825 --> 00:04:50,455 How can you do this to me? What did I do wrong? I laugh at everything you say. 57 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,540 Oh, no, listen. 58 00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:57,588 Aw, hey, bright eyes, who's gonna stay my number one fan, though, huh? 59 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,889 Maury! Maury! 60 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:10,016 Maury. 61 00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:12,602 Oh, Maury. 62 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:17,649 - Well, I WAS his publicist. - Call the papers. Tell everybody. 63 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,819 He's a lowlife. He left me for his wife. 64 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:24,448 We should talk. 65 00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:29,077 Not here. Some place nice, some place snazzy. 66 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:32,247 Don't be stupid. I don't even know you. 67 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,959 - My treat. - Let's go. 68 00:05:42,174 --> 00:05:46,970 Wow, Lindy's. I'm really impressed. Do you come here all the time? 69 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:51,641 Are you kidding? Only every day. All the big stars eat here. 70 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:55,395 Look at them all. Look at all the pictures. Jack Benny. 71 00:05:55,396 --> 00:06:00,066 - There's Henny Youngman. Milton Berle! - Berle's the best. He's the greatest. 72 00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:02,736 When he puts on a dress and a wig? 73 00:06:02,778 --> 00:06:06,114 And the lipstick and the lashes. I love it. 74 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,033 - This bread's fabulous. - Don't fill up on it. 75 00:06:09,034 --> 00:06:12,788 Save your appetite. What about Burns and Allen? 76 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,498 - Aren't they a scream? - Hysterical. 77 00:06:15,499 --> 00:06:19,043 Irving, you're smart. You have taste. 78 00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:23,464 Thank you. So, Jackie, let's talk about you. 79 00:06:23,465 --> 00:06:25,717 It's about time. 80 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:30,096 - I've gotta tell you, I've seen all your work. - Really? - Oh, sure. 81 00:06:30,097 --> 00:06:33,349 - Death Takes a Powder. - I was the whole plot. 82 00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:36,352 I was crazy about you on that radio thing. 83 00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:39,981 What a performance. When that gorilla attacked you... 84 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,901 - Yeah, I played both parts. - That's versatility. 85 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:47,071 I was so angry when you were killed by that tribe of cannibals. 86 00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:51,868 - Wasn't it terrifying? They started at my ankles. - Where have you been? 87 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,953 What have you been up to? 88 00:06:53,954 --> 00:06:56,081 You first. 89 00:06:57,124 --> 00:07:01,920 I have a group of select clients, primarily blue chip performers. 90 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:06,090 - Do you know Perry Como? - Only every song! Every album! 91 00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:09,595 - I handle his brother... - Oh. -.. In-law, ex. 92 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:13,514 - A juggler. You know Danny Kaye? - Danny Kaye?! 93 00:07:13,515 --> 00:07:17,685 - Isn't he great? And you? - Me? 94 00:07:17,686 --> 00:07:22,899 Oh. Well, I'm... looking at several major offers in different areas, 95 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:28,112 and... people have approached me. I'm in negotiations. You understand. 96 00:07:28,113 --> 00:07:30,199 Of course. You're in demand. 97 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:34,369 - I wouldn't wanna rush into anything. - Savvy. Very wise. 98 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:37,539 Except maybe this. 99 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:42,919 - Jackie? - How deep is this? How long will it take? 100 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:47,090 - If I start choking and screaming, don't listen! - Miss Susann! 101 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:50,927 - Just let me die! Just let me drown! - Get out of there. 102 00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:53,638 You could catch something. Germs, bacteria! 103 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:58,226 Tell the papers it was an accident! Tell them I was about to make it big! 104 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:01,521 Here's your headline, "A Star Sinks!" 105 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:04,065 - That's good. - They won't print it! 106 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:09,278 There won't be a picture! Even if I die! Because I'm nothing! I'm nobody! 107 00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:12,241 That's not true. If you drown in the duck pond, 108 00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:15,159 you'd get a big picture. People would love it. 109 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:19,747 I haven't worked for over a year! I haven't eaten in a week! 110 00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:22,959 I can't get an agent! I can't get an audition! 111 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:27,463 - Hang on! - They won't even let me demonstrate margarine in a supermarket! 112 00:08:27,464 --> 00:08:32,719 - They say I'm too intense! - 'Cause they're all morons. 113 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,931 You're not! You're gorgeous! You're perfect for margarine. 114 00:08:36,932 --> 00:08:40,977 But I'm not blonde! I'm not some tiny little thing with blue eyes! 115 00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,731 I'm not what they want or what anybody wants! 116 00:08:43,772 --> 00:08:49,861 - That's not true! - My whole life has been the same story, over and over. I'm coming! 117 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,447 Maury didn't want me. 118 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,658 I want you! 119 00:08:57,327 --> 00:09:00,414 You do? 120 00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:06,419 - You want me? - When Maury dumped you, it tore me apart... 121 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:11,215 but I was glad, secretly. That's why I left him. I quit! 122 00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:13,593 You quit over me? 123 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:17,013 And because he fired me. But that was his reason. 124 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:21,184 To me, it was all about you, completely, from top to bottom. 125 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:25,271 Jackie, I want you. 126 00:09:25,272 --> 00:09:27,357 Oh, Irving. 127 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,986 - As a woman... - Oh, my God. 128 00:09:31,987 --> 00:09:34,448 And a client. 129 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:38,534 Irving, don't say that if you don't mean it. 130 00:09:38,535 --> 00:09:43,081 But, I do. I do with all my heart. I'll... give you my card... 131 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,166 a dry one. 132 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:50,379 All I want is just what everybody wants. 133 00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:54,550 One little thing. One tiny little dream. 134 00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:57,678 - What's that? - To be famous. 135 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:01,849 World famous. To make some noise. 136 00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:07,438 To let everybody know I was here. To live forever. Is that so much to ask? 137 00:10:07,439 --> 00:10:10,317 Not at all. It's America. I'll help you. 138 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,027 I guarantee. I swear it. 139 00:10:13,028 --> 00:10:16,115 I will use all my connections. I will beg, 140 00:10:16,156 --> 00:10:18,699 I will bribe, I will make calls. 141 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:22,286 Calls?! When? Who to? Who do you know? 142 00:10:22,287 --> 00:10:26,874 The Tribune, Winchell, the Post. I can get you in tomorrow's papers. 143 00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:31,129 Jackie Susann has dinner at Lindy's. Thought the bread was boffo. 144 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,214 You... you can do that? 145 00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:35,342 I want... 146 00:10:36,343 --> 00:10:39,346 I want to make you so famous. 147 00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:44,059 Irving. 148 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:49,273 Here's your host, Brad Bradburn! 149 00:10:54,736 --> 00:10:57,321 Thank you! Thank you! 150 00:10:57,322 --> 00:11:02,368 Welcome to the game Tri-State can't stop playing, What's My Job? 151 00:11:02,369 --> 00:11:04,955 Brought to you by Ever-grip. 152 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:08,040 The denture adhesive that just won't let go. 153 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:10,751 Thanks, Tammy. Let's meet our panel. 154 00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:16,175 First, we have everybody's favourite City University civics whiz Professor Brainiac. 155 00:11:19,052 --> 00:11:24,266 Beside him is the lovely star of It Came From Beneath the World, 156 00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,017 Miss Bambi Madison! 157 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:30,229 Hi, everybody! 158 00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:36,194 Finally, welcome noted Broadway actress, radio and showbiz personality, 159 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,279 Miss Jacqueline Susan! 160 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,948 It's SUSE-ann. 161 00:11:40,949 --> 00:11:45,411 Suzanne Susann, yes. Now, let's bring out our first guest. 162 00:11:45,412 --> 00:11:48,290 Enter and sign in, please. 163 00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:58,549 All right, Leslie, why don't you take a seat over here? 164 00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:02,386 Panel, the clock is ticking. Audience? 165 00:12:02,387 --> 00:12:04,513 What's my job? 166 00:12:04,514 --> 00:12:08,184 - Professor? - Do you provide a valuable service? 167 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:11,562 - Yes, I do. - Bambi? 168 00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:16,567 I'm appearing in it Came From Beneath the World, where I play 169 00:12:16,568 --> 00:12:20,821 a beautiful archaeologist. Are you a beautiful archaeologist? 170 00:12:20,822 --> 00:12:22,907 No. 171 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,992 Suzanne? 172 00:12:24,993 --> 00:12:29,330 In your job, do you wear a uniform? 173 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:32,124 - Yes, I do. - Good question. 174 00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:38,214 - In it Came From Beneath the World, so do I! Are you an actress? - No. 175 00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:42,009 - She's not an actress! - Are you? 176 00:12:42,010 --> 00:12:44,595 - Excuse me? - Isn't she great? 177 00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:48,683 - Do you work for the government? - No. 178 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:53,896 In my next movie, Creature From Beyond, I play a beautiful teacher. 179 00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:56,065 What do you teach? 180 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:58,651 Students. 181 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:01,821 - Are you a teacher? - No. 182 00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,407 Are you a brunette? 183 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:08,912 You know, I'm a big movie star and I've never even heard of you. 184 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,830 Have you ever heard of her? 185 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:15,001 - Time's running out. - Do you do repair work? - No. 186 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:20,756 - Are you an astronaut? - No. - Are you an idiot? - Brad! 187 00:13:20,757 --> 00:13:23,884 Time's up. I'm sorry. Leslie. 188 00:13:23,885 --> 00:13:26,429 I'm an optometrist. 189 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:30,975 Oh, me too. I always look on the bright side. 190 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,769 How could you find the bright side? 191 00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:38,482 And now a word from Ever-grip. The denture adhesive that won't let go. 192 00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:43,154 Congratulations, Leslie. You go home with $25! 193 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,575 I hope you enjoyed playing What's My Job! 194 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:01,797 They canned me? 195 00:14:01,798 --> 00:14:04,925 How could they can me after only one show? 196 00:14:04,926 --> 00:14:10,139 They didn't can you. They requested you not to come back, ever. They loved you. 197 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:14,269 - If they loved me, why can't I come back? - They loved you too much. 198 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:18,981 - You're too special. - Should I be less special? Oh, God! 199 00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:23,152 - What do they want? - They want you. They just don't know it yet. 200 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:28,157 When will they know? When are they gonna get with it? I'm almost 30. 201 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:31,577 - Right! - Fuck you! - But you look great. 202 00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:35,748 Like a teenager. A sophisticated teenager. 203 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,919 Oh, but Irving, I got fired. Again. 204 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,215 And now I'm going home to my studio apartment, 205 00:14:43,256 --> 00:14:45,549 to brown walls and a Murphy bed. 206 00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:48,761 So leave. Don't go in there. 207 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,847 Where should I go? 208 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,850 To my place. 209 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,978 No. To our place. 210 00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:00,315 Wait. 211 00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:08,030 Cashmere and wool, 60/40, imported. What are you doing? 212 00:15:08,031 --> 00:15:10,616 I don't believe this. 213 00:15:10,617 --> 00:15:13,120 Marry me. 214 00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:19,333 Marriage? 215 00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:23,421 Oh, Irving, that's a... that's a big decision. 216 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:27,633 - The biggest. The clincher. - Well, before I... 217 00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:32,389 Before I say yes, before I sign on, there's somebody I want to talk to. 218 00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:35,641 Who? 219 00:15:35,642 --> 00:15:39,270 See, I don't trust psychiatrists. 220 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:45,109 They nap. I had this great psychic. She did my chart. She got deported. 221 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,612 - Now how come she didn't see that coming? - Right. 222 00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:52,116 So now, whenever I need to talk, I come here. 223 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,244 To him. 224 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:57,580 Him? 225 00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:00,166 Him, him. 226 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:03,919 Oh, Him. Right. Gotcha. 227 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,755 Go ahead, say something. 228 00:16:06,756 --> 00:16:09,341 How are ya? 229 00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:13,512 Kudos on the weather. The whole week, gorgeous. 230 00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:17,683 It's me, Jackie. Did you see What's My Job this morning? 231 00:16:17,684 --> 00:16:21,312 Was that the best you could do? OK, I'm sorry. I know. 232 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:26,108 People are starving and dying. You have other things on your mind. 233 00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:28,694 But, listen! 234 00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:34,826 This man, this person, this... this publicist wants to marry me. 235 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,037 Irv Mansfield. 236 00:16:37,078 --> 00:16:40,873 He's a good man. He's a kind man. 237 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:43,459 Very well dressed. 238 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:47,630 In fact, I don't even know if I'm worthy of such a man. 239 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:50,216 Oh, Jackie. 240 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:53,344 - Sit tight. What? - Could I? 241 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,930 Be my guest. 242 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:58,557 This... this angel, 243 00:16:58,558 --> 00:17:01,143 this Jackie, 244 00:17:01,144 --> 00:17:03,771 this stunning, 245 00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:06,357 multi-gifted woman. 246 00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,943 You do wonderful work. 247 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:14,782 Some people don't understand her. They don't get it. But they will. 248 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:18,953 I'll make them. I'll force them. Because... 249 00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:22,123 I love her so much. 250 00:17:23,124 --> 00:17:27,295 And I think I can get her a TV commercial. 251 00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:39,057 - God wants to know what kind of a TV commercial. - Network, national. 252 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,105 God says yes! 253 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,733 Isn't she great? 254 00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:54,613 Then came the happiest day of my life. 255 00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:59,201 We rushed down to City Hall, and I kept my word. 256 00:17:59,202 --> 00:18:02,329 - This way, boys! - Oh! Hello, boys! 257 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:06,333 We had full press coverage. All seven dailies. 258 00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:10,755 Back, please. Do your stuff, honey. And I got her that commercial. 259 00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:18,012 Why, hello. I'm Jacqueline Susann. And when I'm not appearing on stage or screen, 260 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:22,349 you'll find me right here surrounded by everything I love best. 261 00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:26,145 Home, family and Schiffli embroidery. 262 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:30,274 Look at Josephine. Oh, my God! She looks fabulous. 263 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:34,361 - A star is born. - For special occasions. 264 00:18:34,362 --> 00:18:36,989 And everyday... 265 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,742 Ohhh! Choreography! 266 00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:43,288 With Schiffli. 267 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:49,001 Honey, bravo! You were incredible. 268 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,295 You made me wanna sew. 269 00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:54,173 Announced that the chances of nuclear war are only 30%. 270 00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,842 Irving, we have to talk. 271 00:18:55,884 --> 00:19:00,846 And now you're in every home in America, like Corn Flakes! Like beer! 272 00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:03,891 - And it's just the beginning. - Settle down. 273 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:08,062 - What? - I got something to tell ya. Big news. 274 00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:12,900 - Bigger than Schiffli? - The biggest. 275 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:15,486 - Ready? - Ready. 276 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:20,407 Everybody! Your attention, please. A major headline, a breaking story. 277 00:19:20,408 --> 00:19:26,038 Miss Jacqueline Susann, star of stage, screen, and Schiffli embroidery, 278 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,124 has something to tell you. An exclusive. 279 00:19:29,125 --> 00:19:31,043 Well, 280 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,629 in just about seven months, 281 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:38,550 Irving and I are having... a blessed event. 282 00:19:38,551 --> 00:19:42,263 - A brand-new, human life! - More me! 283 00:19:47,602 --> 00:19:50,980 Oh, ho! Thanks! 284 00:19:53,316 --> 00:19:57,529 And then, our precious son was born. 285 00:19:59,572 --> 00:20:02,783 He was special... but different. 286 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:07,496 We did the best we could. But, finally, 287 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:11,543 we had to make a terrible decision. 288 00:20:17,924 --> 00:20:23,053 You'll find that it's a fine institution. The child will receive excellent care. 289 00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:27,182 Guy. His name is Guy. He has a name. 290 00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:28,935 Guy. Yes. 291 00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:35,149 - We specialize in long-term care for the retarded. - He's not retarded! 292 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:38,277 That's not the right word. That's not Guy. 293 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,363 - No, of course not. - As I was going to say, 294 00:20:41,364 --> 00:20:45,200 Pembroke also specializes in cases of severe autism. 295 00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:49,956 Now this is the only practical solution. 296 00:20:54,502 --> 00:20:59,840 And we could come up there to see him, whenever we want? 297 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:02,886 Absolutely. Every week. 298 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,391 I'm sorry. 299 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:25,407 All right, what's going on? Why hasn't she returned my calls? 300 00:21:25,408 --> 00:21:28,952 - Flo, I'm sorry. - It's been months. Where is she? 301 00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:31,038 - She's not ready. - She's not ready? 302 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,916 She's not ready for compassion? For sensitivity? 303 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:37,294 - She's not ready for the best friend she's ever had? - Soon. 304 00:21:37,295 --> 00:21:41,465 - Now. - I am making a personal appearance. 305 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,634 - Flo, don't! - Jacqueline. 306 00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:45,803 Go away. 307 00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:51,892 - Get out. - It's me. It's Florence Maybelle. It's Flo. - I recognise you. 308 00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:56,605 - I heard about Guy. - What did you hear? Guy's fine. 309 00:21:56,606 --> 00:22:00,275 - He's recuperating out of town. He has asthma. - Jackie? 310 00:22:00,276 --> 00:22:03,195 I've got the papers. Variety. Backstage. 311 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:06,281 - Who cares? - Jackie! 312 00:22:06,282 --> 00:22:09,409 Flo, can I get you something? Coffee? Gin? 313 00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:14,164 Later. Listen to me, both of you. I, too, have a child. 314 00:22:14,165 --> 00:22:17,709 - A child I never see. - Why not? 315 00:22:17,710 --> 00:22:20,420 I don't want to. Oh, sweetheart, 316 00:22:20,421 --> 00:22:23,799 - you can't spend the rest of your life in bed. - Why not? 317 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:28,595 - What should I get up for, except my son? - But you see Guy once a week. 318 00:22:28,596 --> 00:22:31,056 You've got to think about your career. 319 00:22:31,057 --> 00:22:34,142 Career. What career? It'll never happen for me. 320 00:22:34,143 --> 00:22:38,939 Sweetheart, things are gonna turn around. Any day now, any second. 321 00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:42,067 It's just the business peaks and valleys. 322 00:22:42,068 --> 00:22:47,447 A year ago, Sinatra was garbage, over. Today, he's Vegas. He's headlining. 323 00:22:47,448 --> 00:22:52,995 - It can happen to you. Talent isn't everything. - When's it gonna happen? 324 00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:57,624 When's the world gonna open its arms and say "Jackie Susann, we love ya"? 325 00:22:57,625 --> 00:23:00,752 - Jackie, I love you. - And I love you. 326 00:23:00,753 --> 00:23:05,090 I know, and I appreciate it. I do. But you're just two people. 327 00:23:05,091 --> 00:23:09,553 That's just a start. I need more. I do. 328 00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:12,723 I need... mass love. 329 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,268 Mass love? 330 00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:29,991 Mass love. 331 00:23:55,224 --> 00:23:58,311 Mass love... 332 00:24:09,864 --> 00:24:11,866 Oh, hi. 333 00:24:16,412 --> 00:24:20,332 - Afternoon, Mr. Mansfield. - Oh, afternoon, Danny. 334 00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:23,418 Come on, come on, Josie. 335 00:24:23,419 --> 00:24:27,047 Eat a little something. For me. Keep up your strength. 336 00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,674 No. Not till I'm famous. 337 00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:33,845 I'm going on a hunger strike, like whatshisname? Gandhi. He got famous! 338 00:24:33,846 --> 00:24:37,641 - And thin. - A book! 339 00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:41,603 - A book! - Oh, come on, Irving. 340 00:24:41,604 --> 00:24:45,565 - Reading never solved anything. - She's not gonna read a book. 341 00:24:45,566 --> 00:24:48,735 - What are you talking about? - You're gonna write one. 342 00:24:48,736 --> 00:24:53,949 Irving, stop. You're crazy. A book. I can't write a book. 343 00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:57,285 You can. You can do anything. You wrote a play. 344 00:24:57,286 --> 00:24:59,371 It was a bomb. 345 00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:01,582 You wrote articles about Josephine. 346 00:25:01,624 --> 00:25:04,584 - People loved them. They went wild. - She's a dog! 347 00:25:04,585 --> 00:25:06,670 You write beautiful letters to Guy. 348 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:10,841 They read them to him like that one where you described your mink coat. 349 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:15,596 - I was inspired. - Writers get famous, world famous. 350 00:25:15,638 --> 00:25:19,850 They get legendary. You know, he's got a point there. 351 00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:25,439 You think about Hemingway and... Dickens, and... I'm sure there are others. 352 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:30,110 But Flo, a book. A whole book. What the hell am I gonna write about? 353 00:25:30,111 --> 00:25:33,739 - I got it. - What? - You write about me. 354 00:25:33,740 --> 00:25:36,409 No, you write about this beautiful actress... 355 00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:39,244 and all the handsome young men who desire her. 356 00:25:39,245 --> 00:25:42,372 Science fiction? 357 00:25:42,373 --> 00:25:46,585 - Do you remember the movie I Remember Mama? - Irene Dunne. 358 00:25:46,586 --> 00:25:51,590 Right. She played a Swedish woman who had a daughter who wanted to be a writer. 359 00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:56,178 - Can you believe she got a nomination for that? It was a slow year. - Flo! 360 00:25:56,179 --> 00:26:00,974 The little girl was in the kitchen with her wonderful, Swedish mother. 361 00:26:00,975 --> 00:26:04,061 And the mother said, "Write about what you know." 362 00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:08,231 So she wrote about her Swedish mother. It was a blockbuster. 363 00:26:08,232 --> 00:26:11,360 But I don't have a wonderful Swedish mother! 364 00:26:11,986 --> 00:26:15,113 And all I know about is show business. 365 00:26:15,114 --> 00:26:18,701 All I know about are people fucking their way into movies, 366 00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:21,369 popping pills and winding up in the gutter. 367 00:26:21,370 --> 00:26:27,667 All I know about are aging stars, hopeful whores and cheap studs. 368 00:26:27,668 --> 00:26:33,174 All I know about are tits, ass and the truth. 369 00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:40,348 And nobody writes books about that. 370 00:26:42,558 --> 00:26:45,103 Why not? 371 00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:49,440 Jackie? 372 00:26:49,649 --> 00:26:51,776 Yeah? 373 00:26:52,318 --> 00:26:56,781 You wouldn't use real names, would you? 374 00:26:58,616 --> 00:27:02,577 "He held her gently and stroked her hair." 375 00:27:02,578 --> 00:27:05,748 "Oh, Lyon, it happened." 376 00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:13,839 "I was beginning to worry about myself. Not at all." 377 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,551 "It's very rare for a girl to actually feel anything..." 378 00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:20,138 "or reach a climax, in the beginning." 379 00:27:25,309 --> 00:27:30,522 "She stroked the beaver coat one night with Robbie." 380 00:27:30,523 --> 00:27:35,361 "That's what a great body was for, to get things you wanted." 381 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:40,323 "She wondered what it would be like, really to care," 382 00:27:40,324 --> 00:27:43,661 "to love someone like Lyon Burke." 383 00:27:44,662 --> 00:27:47,789 "Then she opened the bottle of pills." 384 00:27:47,790 --> 00:27:50,917 "She took two of them." 385 00:27:50,918 --> 00:27:54,713 "One worked, but two..." 386 00:27:54,714 --> 00:27:58,925 Sally, she's taking to this writing thing like a duck to water. 387 00:27:58,926 --> 00:28:04,139 - She calls me her literary adviser, her muse. I don't know. - Irving! 388 00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:07,267 - Yeah? - Can I write about having orgasms? 389 00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:09,352 Yes. 390 00:28:09,353 --> 00:28:13,523 You've never heard such typing. She's a regular Shakespeare. 391 00:28:13,524 --> 00:28:16,109 - Irving? - Yes? 392 00:28:16,110 --> 00:28:19,738 - What about orgasms in swimming pools? - Even better. 393 00:28:19,739 --> 00:28:24,577 Did you hear? Even Shakespeare didn't think of that, on his best day. 394 00:28:37,006 --> 00:28:41,801 "The soft numbness began to slither through her body..." 395 00:28:41,802 --> 00:28:47,015 Sweetheart. Chapter twelve, Jennifer's wedding night. 396 00:28:47,016 --> 00:28:51,186 She's marrying Tony Polar, the handsome nightclub singer. 397 00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:57,025 He wants her to perform an unspeakable sexual act? I'm lost. 398 00:28:57,026 --> 00:29:00,196 - Up the butt! - Gotcha. 399 00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:10,373 "An angry concrete animal caught unawares in a hot spell." 400 00:29:13,292 --> 00:29:17,504 "September had been a good month. October brought Lyon Burke." 401 00:29:17,505 --> 00:29:22,175 "He crawled on his knees after her. She backed away again." 402 00:29:22,176 --> 00:29:25,345 "Tony, all of this is not yours." 403 00:29:25,346 --> 00:29:29,516 "It's mine. He came after her. She eluded him again." 404 00:29:29,517 --> 00:29:33,853 "She stroked her thighs, her fingers touching between her legs." 405 00:29:33,854 --> 00:29:37,732 "That's mine, too, she said softly." 406 00:29:37,733 --> 00:29:42,320 "Who are you protecting? A whore who contaminated my pool?" 407 00:29:42,321 --> 00:29:46,409 "You mean nothing to him. He likes boys for his diversion." 408 00:29:49,495 --> 00:29:54,499 "I can't believe it, every time I touch them, I can't believe it." 409 00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:58,461 "His mouth, it was greedy. She held his head gently." 410 00:29:58,462 --> 00:30:03,300 "I never want to move, he mumbled." The end. 411 00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:06,636 And so, 412 00:30:06,637 --> 00:30:10,765 is it good? Is it great? 413 00:30:10,766 --> 00:30:15,187 It's gotta be great. Is it the greatest thing you've ever read? 414 00:30:17,231 --> 00:30:20,860 Honey, it's incredible. 415 00:30:21,861 --> 00:30:24,446 It's like... 416 00:30:24,447 --> 00:30:28,158 - Madame Bovary. - Name a real book! 417 00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:30,910 It's like Gone With The Wind. 418 00:30:30,911 --> 00:30:35,540 Like the movie? You mean, it's like a book that could win an Oscar? 419 00:30:35,541 --> 00:30:39,420 - Only filthier! - Irving! 420 00:30:51,182 --> 00:30:54,809 Mr. Hunter says to tell you that your manuscript 421 00:30:54,810 --> 00:30:57,854 is not what we're looking for right now. 422 00:30:57,855 --> 00:31:02,485 - What?! - So, sweetheart, tell me, what are they looking for? 423 00:31:03,319 --> 00:31:05,321 Quality. 424 00:31:13,788 --> 00:31:17,165 Please understand, this isn't any fun for me. 425 00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:22,379 But the fact is, there really isn't a place for this sort of thing here at Putnam. 426 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:25,507 Why not? I want a reason. 427 00:31:25,508 --> 00:31:29,010 We publish primarily classic literary fiction 428 00:31:29,011 --> 00:31:31,846 in the tradition of William Faulkner and Herman Melville. 429 00:31:31,847 --> 00:31:34,557 They're dead! They've stopped. 430 00:31:34,558 --> 00:31:37,560 You've gotta be kidding. This is a gold mine. 431 00:31:37,561 --> 00:31:41,481 - There might be some interest at another house. - Like which one? 432 00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:45,944 - Yours. - You fucking little snot-nosed Ivy-League putz! 433 00:31:45,945 --> 00:31:49,906 You're talking to a lady. 434 00:31:49,907 --> 00:31:52,952 Sweetheart, are you all right? 435 00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:01,085 I'm f-f-fine. I'm just upset. 436 00:32:23,524 --> 00:32:27,694 We are delighted to present James Brown on this show. 437 00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:32,366 So, let's have a fine welcome to a very fine talent. 438 00:32:41,834 --> 00:32:44,295 Come here sister... 439 00:32:44,336 --> 00:32:48,757 Irving. Irving. Come in. You gotta see this guy. 440 00:32:48,924 --> 00:32:50,592 He ain't too hip. 441 00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:54,596 About that new breed babe. 442 00:32:54,597 --> 00:32:57,682 He ain't no drag. 443 00:32:57,683 --> 00:33:00,769 Papa's got a brand new bag. 444 00:33:00,895 --> 00:33:02,854 This guy's great! 445 00:33:02,855 --> 00:33:04,731 Wow! I feel good! 446 00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:07,818 I knew that I would now 447 00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:11,322 I feel good... 448 00:33:11,530 --> 00:33:13,949 Irving! 449 00:33:14,158 --> 00:33:15,575 So good! 450 00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:18,621 So good! I got you! 451 00:33:25,377 --> 00:33:28,046 When I hold you in my arms... 452 00:33:28,047 --> 00:33:31,549 This guy's gonna go far. I'm telling you. 453 00:33:31,550 --> 00:33:33,551 When I hold you in my arms. 454 00:33:33,552 --> 00:33:36,346 My love can't do me no harm... 455 00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:40,100 I need to talk to you. 456 00:33:42,895 --> 00:33:47,982 Is it that guy from Viking? The shithead with the tweed vest and the bad teeth? 457 00:33:47,983 --> 00:33:52,153 - Like that proves he can read. - No, no. It wasn't about the book. 458 00:33:52,154 --> 00:33:55,698 It was... well... 459 00:33:55,699 --> 00:33:59,118 Is it about Guy? Oh, my God. 460 00:33:59,119 --> 00:34:02,289 - What's wrong? - No, he's fine. Tops. 461 00:34:06,418 --> 00:34:09,879 Is it the doctor? My doctor? 462 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:13,050 About the tests? 463 00:34:17,471 --> 00:34:19,722 What...? What'd he say? 464 00:34:19,723 --> 00:34:24,686 - Baby, do you remember Greta Garbo in Camille? - Yeah. 465 00:34:24,687 --> 00:34:28,856 - She was so beautiful, even with all the coughing. - What are you talking about? 466 00:34:28,857 --> 00:34:33,611 Remember Bette Davis in Dark Victory? That was one of your favorites. 467 00:34:33,612 --> 00:34:36,782 Irving, what did the doctor say? 468 00:34:54,466 --> 00:34:58,094 - Do the warm-up. - Sit, sweetheart. 469 00:34:58,095 --> 00:35:00,680 Sit for mommy! 470 00:35:00,681 --> 00:35:05,893 You've got a lady waiting. She's got something to say, a bone to pick. 471 00:35:05,894 --> 00:35:09,690 - Come on. - I give you Miss Jacqueline Susann. 472 00:35:12,610 --> 00:35:15,738 - Fuck you! Don't interrupt me. - Jackie! 473 00:35:15,946 --> 00:35:20,074 All I ever wanted was to be somebody. 474 00:35:20,075 --> 00:35:25,330 And I was on my way. Vaudeville, Schiffli, radio. 475 00:35:25,331 --> 00:35:30,501 Then I have a baby, a gorgeous baby who screams every time I touch him. 476 00:35:30,502 --> 00:35:33,630 But that's OK. He's my baby. I love him. 477 00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:38,843 I want to make him proud, proud of his famous mother. So I write a book. 478 00:35:38,844 --> 00:35:44,682 - A wonderful book. - A fabulous book, a bestseller, which nobody fucking wants! 479 00:35:44,683 --> 00:35:48,853 But I'm working on it. I'm out there. I'm gonna show 'em all. 480 00:35:48,854 --> 00:35:51,981 And then, whoops, ding-dong. 481 00:35:51,982 --> 00:35:55,735 "Who's there? Why, it's cancer." 482 00:35:55,736 --> 00:36:01,282 - I get fucking goddamn breast cancer! - Excuse us, we're in a meeting. 483 00:36:01,283 --> 00:36:04,869 - Sorry. - Were you bored? 484 00:36:04,870 --> 00:36:09,374 Were you having a bad day? Did you just say, "Hey, Jackie Susann..." 485 00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:13,503 - "...simply hasn't had enough shit lately?" - I have to agree. 486 00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:16,589 You owe me! 487 00:36:16,590 --> 00:36:21,135 Big time! So, cut the crap! No more bullshit. 488 00:36:21,136 --> 00:36:24,889 Here's the deal. I keep going. 489 00:36:24,890 --> 00:36:27,475 But you start helping! 490 00:36:27,476 --> 00:36:30,646 I can't do everything myself! 491 00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:35,817 Come on! Get on the phone! 492 00:36:35,818 --> 00:36:38,070 Now! 493 00:36:41,156 --> 00:36:45,369 Make... me... famous! 494 00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:20,988 Morning, Stacey. Hi. 495 00:37:25,117 --> 00:37:28,745 - Morning. - What do you got for me? Anything? 496 00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:31,330 Oh, just these here. 497 00:37:31,331 --> 00:37:33,959 No, no and no. 498 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,130 Morning. Hey, Lou. 499 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,809 Hey, kids. Where's the fire? I love saying that. 500 00:37:50,851 --> 00:37:52,935 Henry, 501 00:37:52,936 --> 00:37:57,315 I forbid you to acquire this book. This is trash. This is... 502 00:37:57,316 --> 00:38:00,610 - illiterate garbage. - Don't be so prissy. 503 00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:03,446 It's unreadable! 504 00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:06,657 Valley of the Dolls sounds like a children's book. 505 00:38:06,658 --> 00:38:10,328 Henry, dolls are pills. Uppers, downers. 506 00:38:10,329 --> 00:38:12,413 A very cool children's book. 507 00:38:12,414 --> 00:38:15,875 It's salacious, perverted, soft-core porn. 508 00:38:15,876 --> 00:38:18,377 Can we put that on the cover? 509 00:38:18,378 --> 00:38:21,840 I think it's exciting and not just because it upsets Michael, 510 00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:24,383 - although that's a very good sign. - Excuse me? 511 00:38:24,384 --> 00:38:28,513 Henry, I am telling you, this book is on to something. 512 00:38:28,514 --> 00:38:32,391 - Something totally new. - I dig new. 513 00:38:32,392 --> 00:38:37,146 - The author can't write! - That's new. That's fresh. Nobody's done that. 514 00:38:37,147 --> 00:38:39,273 That's appalling. 515 00:38:39,274 --> 00:38:43,861 - Debbie, can you defend this sewage as literature? - Of course not. 516 00:38:43,862 --> 00:38:45,696 But I could not put it down. 517 00:38:45,697 --> 00:38:49,575 The woman who wrote this knows what she's talking about. 518 00:38:49,576 --> 00:38:55,248 It was like... overhearing a conversation in the ladies' room. 519 00:38:55,249 --> 00:39:02,213 It's like gossip. Chocolate-covered cherries. It's... it's sexy. 520 00:39:02,214 --> 00:39:04,758 You know it's bad for you but you can't stop. 521 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,969 - It's chocolate covered crap! - I can come back. 522 00:39:07,970 --> 00:39:12,765 Oh, wait! Mrs. Ramirez. Darling. 523 00:39:12,766 --> 00:39:18,229 Would you read a book about the disgusting, desperate lives 524 00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:22,316 of drug-addicted sex-crazed movie stars? 525 00:39:22,317 --> 00:39:25,404 - Henry, she's the cleaning lady. - She knows trash. 526 00:39:25,445 --> 00:39:29,907 You mean, that thing on your desk, the Valley of the Pigs? 527 00:39:29,908 --> 00:39:32,285 - Dolls. - I read it last night... 528 00:39:32,286 --> 00:39:36,747 while I was vacuuming. Those women, in that book, they are animals! 529 00:39:36,748 --> 00:39:39,542 All they do is jump after men... 530 00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:43,296 and take those drugs and go straight to hell! 531 00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:48,301 If they were my daughters, I would kill them myself, with my bare hands. 532 00:39:48,302 --> 00:39:51,470 Thank you. So, you hated it. 533 00:39:51,471 --> 00:39:57,561 It is the finest book I have ever read. 534 00:39:58,604 --> 00:40:01,023 I'm buying it. 535 00:40:02,024 --> 00:40:06,193 Jackie, wait. I've got big news! 536 00:40:06,194 --> 00:40:09,947 - For Christ's sake. - She's going to surgery. - Just a minute. 537 00:40:09,948 --> 00:40:14,076 - I got something important to say. - Save it, till I'm out of here. 538 00:40:14,077 --> 00:40:18,664 Till I'm wearing something decent. I'll get one of those bathing suits. 539 00:40:18,665 --> 00:40:23,210 They have a bikini. You should see me in a bikini. You'd lose control. 540 00:40:23,211 --> 00:40:27,506 - Honey, you've gotta listen to me. We're in. They bit. - Who bit what? 541 00:40:27,507 --> 00:40:31,677 - Henry Marcus. The book. - Oh, God, Irving, stop joking. 542 00:40:31,678 --> 00:40:35,264 They've got an editor. They want you to meet with him. 543 00:40:35,265 --> 00:40:40,478 - Hold it. An editor? - As soon as you're feeling better. 544 00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:42,521 Did you tell them? 545 00:40:42,522 --> 00:40:46,525 I told them we'd be out of the country for awhile. I told them... 546 00:40:46,526 --> 00:40:49,654 you look great in a bikini. 547 00:40:49,655 --> 00:40:51,739 You did? 548 00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:55,535 Jackie, they said yes. Someone said yes. 549 00:41:09,091 --> 00:41:11,175 - Susann? - 9A. 550 00:41:11,176 --> 00:41:13,387 Thank you. 551 00:41:22,646 --> 00:41:25,816 Who the hell's that? Irving, get the door. 552 00:41:26,817 --> 00:41:28,902 Coming! 553 00:41:29,945 --> 00:41:35,992 - Yes? - I'm Michael Hastings, the editor from Henry Marcus. 554 00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:38,787 - I've an appointment with Miss Susann. - Mike! 555 00:41:38,829 --> 00:41:42,248 Jackie, it's Mike! Come on in. Take a load off. 556 00:41:42,249 --> 00:41:45,167 Well, welcome to the family! 557 00:41:45,168 --> 00:41:49,922 - I was ordering breakfast. What can I get you? - Breakfast? It's 11 A.M. 558 00:41:49,923 --> 00:41:53,676 - Early riser? - I'm supposed to get editing this manuscript. 559 00:41:53,677 --> 00:41:58,889 Oh, like a rooster. Nature boy. I'm back. Yeah. 560 00:41:58,890 --> 00:42:03,060 We'll need another breakfast platter, celery tonic, some lox. 561 00:42:03,061 --> 00:42:06,814 - Oh, you need lox. Protein. - Lox?! 562 00:42:06,815 --> 00:42:12,028 That's Josie. Josie, be nice. She'll help us with the editing. She's a smart dog. 563 00:42:12,029 --> 00:42:17,408 - What the hell's wrong with you? It's dawn, for crying out loud. - Miss Susann. 564 00:42:17,409 --> 00:42:21,246 I'm Michael Hastings, your editor. We have a lot of work to do. 565 00:42:21,288 --> 00:42:23,748 I have a great many comprehensive notes. 566 00:42:23,749 --> 00:42:29,336 - "Notes"? What do you mean, "notes"? - For changes. For your book. 567 00:42:29,337 --> 00:42:31,965 Changes? Like spelling? 568 00:42:34,051 --> 00:42:38,054 Your manuscript at present is nigh onto incoherent. 569 00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:41,932 - And that's bad? - Yes. 570 00:42:41,933 --> 00:42:45,186 Well, Mr. Picky. Buster, you just hold on. 571 00:42:45,187 --> 00:42:50,608 - Where's she going? - Isn't she great? She's so excited. 572 00:42:50,609 --> 00:42:53,736 She's never been edited before. 573 00:42:53,737 --> 00:42:56,864 - Flo, you're back. - They fired me. 574 00:42:56,865 --> 00:43:01,035 - They fired you? - From goddamn Ozzie and Harriet. 575 00:43:01,036 --> 00:43:03,705 Who are you? FBI? 576 00:43:05,165 --> 00:43:07,750 - Flo, Michael. Michael, Flo. - Flo?! 577 00:43:07,751 --> 00:43:11,378 - Jackie! - So, you wanted changes? 578 00:43:11,379 --> 00:43:14,131 How's this for editing? 579 00:43:14,132 --> 00:43:17,134 - They fired me. - They fired ya? 580 00:43:17,135 --> 00:43:21,138 From Ozzie and Harriet. America's favourite wholesome TV family. 581 00:43:21,139 --> 00:43:22,681 - They're cocksuckers. - All of 'em. 582 00:43:22,682 --> 00:43:24,725 Ozzie? 583 00:43:24,726 --> 00:43:30,273 - This outfit's wrong. Too subtle. - Hi. 584 00:43:31,399 --> 00:43:35,569 I was playing Harriet's beloved Aunt Hilda. 585 00:43:35,570 --> 00:43:41,158 - A sweet simple Midwestern farm woman come to visit. - Mr. Mansfield? 586 00:43:41,159 --> 00:43:44,370 Can you break a twenty? 587 00:43:44,371 --> 00:43:46,455 God, I would have been marvelous. 588 00:43:46,456 --> 00:43:52,044 I entered and said, "Harriet, darling, I'm here. I have brought farm fresh eggs." 589 00:43:52,045 --> 00:43:54,588 I'll get it. 590 00:43:54,589 --> 00:43:56,715 - Hey, Irv. - Sheila! 591 00:43:56,716 --> 00:44:01,929 - What did you want today? French manicure? What about the toes? - What about the toes? 592 00:44:01,930 --> 00:44:05,766 - Tell her to start with Josie. - Josie, come on, manicure! 593 00:44:05,767 --> 00:44:09,396 They want it a different way. I have no ego, you know. 594 00:44:09,437 --> 00:44:11,856 Let's take a look at you. 595 00:44:11,857 --> 00:44:15,526 - We have to begin. - She's very high strung. 596 00:44:15,527 --> 00:44:18,654 - We have to begin. - Ozzie, he's staring at me. 597 00:44:18,655 --> 00:44:21,949 He said, "Could you be a little more wholesome?" 598 00:44:21,950 --> 00:44:25,119 "You're a simple farm woman, bringing fresh eggs." 599 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,914 I said, "What do you want me to do? Lay them?!" 600 00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:32,084 So, do I look like an author? 601 00:44:32,085 --> 00:44:35,588 Miss Susann, it really doesn't matter what you wear. 602 00:44:35,589 --> 00:44:37,799 See, he's editing me. 603 00:44:40,385 --> 00:44:45,848 - This is unacceptable. - I know. Hang in there. Lox is on the way. 604 00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:49,143 And then, these two adorable teenagers come in. 605 00:44:49,144 --> 00:44:52,229 David and Ricky. 606 00:44:52,230 --> 00:44:55,357 Their little crew cuts and their dungarees. 607 00:44:55,358 --> 00:44:57,736 David wanted me. 608 00:44:57,777 --> 00:45:00,196 I could tell. 609 00:45:00,197 --> 00:45:02,781 - He was huge! - What?! 610 00:45:02,782 --> 00:45:06,619 - Match me? - Coming. Oh, boy. 611 00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:09,747 - Irv, breakfast time! - Claude, how are ya? 612 00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:14,752 You got cold cuts, bagels, coffee, lox, celery tonic and bran muffins. 613 00:45:14,753 --> 00:45:20,841 - You gotta have bran. Cleans you out. - And then Ozzie, he comes back in... 614 00:45:20,842 --> 00:45:27,097 and suddenly they're all lined up, all staring at me, the entire Nelson family... 615 00:45:27,098 --> 00:45:31,769 in their cardigans, and their rosy cheeks and gleaming white teeth. 616 00:45:31,770 --> 00:45:34,897 And I just gazed at them. And I said, 617 00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:39,276 "I am your wholesome Aunt Hilda and I have brought farm fresh eggs." 618 00:45:39,277 --> 00:45:41,654 "Heil Hitler!" 619 00:45:41,655 --> 00:45:43,822 - They fired you? - Well? 620 00:45:43,823 --> 00:45:46,617 - Better? - Wow. 621 00:45:46,618 --> 00:45:50,621 - Bestselling? - That's the one. That's the one. 622 00:45:50,622 --> 00:45:52,916 Mr. Mansfield? We have a deadline. 623 00:45:52,958 --> 00:45:56,377 We need to work in an atmosphere of absolute quiet. 624 00:45:56,378 --> 00:46:00,089 I couldn't agree more. And I know just the spot. 625 00:46:00,090 --> 00:46:04,885 - If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder. - Herbie! 626 00:46:04,886 --> 00:46:08,013 You got hungry? Yeah. Lover boy! Sweetheart. 627 00:46:08,014 --> 00:46:11,141 - Who's this? - My editor. I take him everywhere. 628 00:46:11,142 --> 00:46:14,270 Two adults. And one gentile. 629 00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:17,440 - Jackie! - Irving, you son of a gun! 630 00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:24,697 - Jackie! You look gorgeous! - Sylvia! You look different! 631 00:46:24,698 --> 00:46:27,825 - Hey, vice squad! - Great sports jacket. 632 00:46:27,826 --> 00:46:31,829 It's a Fabiani, hand stitched, hand rolled, virgin alpaca. 633 00:46:31,830 --> 00:46:33,831 And it's gonna stay that way. 634 00:46:33,832 --> 00:46:36,959 - I'm starving! I could eat a horse. - You probably will. 635 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:40,713 - So, what specials? - It's all special, sweetheart. 636 00:46:40,714 --> 00:46:42,798 Thank you. 637 00:46:42,799 --> 00:46:46,760 - Miss Susann, Mr. Mansfield. - Jackie. And Irving. 638 00:46:46,761 --> 00:46:51,433 This is not exactly the kind of working atmosphere I had in mind. 639 00:46:51,641 --> 00:46:54,435 Look at him. Look at you. 640 00:46:54,436 --> 00:46:59,273 - What? - Just tell me. What do you call that thing you're wearing? 641 00:46:59,274 --> 00:47:03,277 It's a navy blue suit. It's from Brooks Brothers. 642 00:47:03,278 --> 00:47:07,072 - Brooks Brothers? - It's an American classic. 643 00:47:07,073 --> 00:47:08,907 It's a shroud. I can't look. 644 00:47:08,908 --> 00:47:12,619 It's hurting my creative juices. I'm having a blockage. 645 00:47:12,620 --> 00:47:15,706 - Irving, quick. Give him your jacket. - What? 646 00:47:15,707 --> 00:47:17,125 - What?! - People are staring. 647 00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:20,919 They're saying, "What are Irving and Jackie doing with this stiff?" 648 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:24,631 They think it's a tax audit. Give him your jacket. 649 00:47:24,632 --> 00:47:26,884 - Jackie. - Please! 650 00:47:26,885 --> 00:47:29,804 I am absolutely not going to wear Irving's jacket. 651 00:47:36,353 --> 00:47:38,937 Thank God! 652 00:47:38,938 --> 00:47:41,523 Now I can breathe again. I'm open. 653 00:47:41,524 --> 00:47:44,651 Darling, if you're happy, I'm happy. 654 00:47:44,652 --> 00:47:47,238 Brisket for the beautiful lady. 655 00:47:47,447 --> 00:47:50,075 Veal for the gent. Thanks, Max. 656 00:47:51,076 --> 00:47:53,660 And one American cheese sandwich. 657 00:47:53,661 --> 00:47:58,207 - Thank you. Do you have any mayonnaise? - Mayonnaise? 658 00:47:58,208 --> 00:48:00,418 Hellman's. 659 00:48:02,545 --> 00:48:04,672 Don't get anything on it. 660 00:48:04,714 --> 00:48:07,300 No gestures. 661 00:48:10,512 --> 00:48:15,849 Cheese sandwich. Where were you raised? In a fucking igloo? 662 00:48:15,850 --> 00:48:18,394 Miss Susann? Mr. Mansfield? 663 00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:20,729 - It's Jackie. - And Irving. 664 00:48:20,730 --> 00:48:26,068 Your manuscript requires an overwhelming amount of work. 665 00:48:26,069 --> 00:48:30,781 - I agree. Like worldwide advertising. - We've got lots of ideas, a campaign. 666 00:48:30,782 --> 00:48:33,243 The dust jacket's gonna be my picture. 667 00:48:33,284 --> 00:48:36,078 I can do this look. Or this. How about this? 668 00:48:36,079 --> 00:48:38,039 Do the other one. That's my girl. 669 00:48:38,081 --> 00:48:41,291 What about the first printing? I say one million, easy. 670 00:48:41,292 --> 00:48:44,503 I love radio. But TV, that's where they'll eat me up. 671 00:48:44,504 --> 00:48:49,383 We want all the morning shows and Carson. How about a limo? 672 00:48:49,384 --> 00:48:54,555 We could use our own car. Do you pay for gas, tolls? 673 00:48:54,556 --> 00:48:58,392 Excuse me! Pardon me! You are a first-time novelist! 674 00:48:58,393 --> 00:49:01,937 With a book which remains virtually unreadable! 675 00:49:01,938 --> 00:49:05,774 I have been assigned to edit this miasma! 676 00:49:05,775 --> 00:49:09,903 When I arrive I'm treated to a variety night circus with a dog act, 677 00:49:09,904 --> 00:49:13,867 and then this delicatessen schmooze fest! 678 00:49:15,910 --> 00:49:20,122 If this book is to be published at all, we need a place to work. 679 00:49:20,123 --> 00:49:22,750 Am I understood? 680 00:49:25,837 --> 00:49:29,215 - "Miasma"? - Florida? 681 00:49:43,104 --> 00:49:45,689 This is some schlep. 682 00:49:45,690 --> 00:49:48,817 Where are you taking us, Iowa? 683 00:49:48,818 --> 00:49:51,945 - It's Connecticut. - Connecticut? 684 00:49:51,946 --> 00:49:55,617 - This is Connecticut? - Nice, if you're a cow. 685 00:50:01,831 --> 00:50:04,958 So, who lives here? Thomas Jefferson? 686 00:50:04,959 --> 00:50:08,213 - My family. - They got slaves? 687 00:50:10,089 --> 00:50:14,385 - Who's that? - That is my mother. 688 00:50:16,387 --> 00:50:18,973 She gave birth? 689 00:50:20,725 --> 00:50:23,310 - Mother. - Hello, dear. 690 00:50:23,311 --> 00:50:26,104 Thank you so much for letting us use the house. 691 00:50:26,105 --> 00:50:29,442 - I promise you, you won't even know we're here. - Of course. 692 00:50:29,651 --> 00:50:33,821 - Mother, this is Irving Mansfield. - Some spread. You did good. 693 00:50:34,030 --> 00:50:37,783 - Do you rent? - And this is Jacqueline Susann. 694 00:50:37,784 --> 00:50:41,371 - Pleased to meet you. - Hello. What's your name, darling? 695 00:50:41,579 --> 00:50:46,709 My given name is Alicia Carlisle Pewter but everyone calls me Lissy. 696 00:50:46,918 --> 00:50:49,378 No. Come on. 697 00:50:49,379 --> 00:50:52,215 - Come on, really. - Really. 698 00:50:55,218 --> 00:50:58,346 And this is our guest room. 699 00:50:58,555 --> 00:51:01,682 I do hope you'll be comfortable. 700 00:51:01,683 --> 00:51:04,309 Oh, it's... it's nice. 701 00:51:04,310 --> 00:51:06,938 It's very... clean. 702 00:51:07,146 --> 00:51:12,901 I love the proportions. The light. You could do a lot with this room. 703 00:51:12,902 --> 00:51:15,863 - We have. - Josie. 704 00:51:24,163 --> 00:51:26,748 Good luck. Keep it dirty. 705 00:51:26,749 --> 00:51:29,876 Bye, sweetheart. Pee for mommy. 706 00:51:29,877 --> 00:51:33,005 - Jackie! - I was talking to Irving. 707 00:51:33,006 --> 00:51:35,591 It's a joke. 708 00:51:35,592 --> 00:51:38,719 Of course. Well. All right. 709 00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:42,598 Finally, we can begin our task. Let's get going. 710 00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:45,726 Let's start with the first paragraph. 711 00:51:45,727 --> 00:51:48,478 - First paragraph? - Second sentence. 712 00:51:48,479 --> 00:51:53,191 This phrase, "New York was steaming. An angry, concrete animal." 713 00:51:53,192 --> 00:51:56,945 - Don't you love that? - No, it doesn't make any sense. 714 00:51:56,946 --> 00:51:59,657 - What is an angry concrete animal? - New York. 715 00:51:59,699 --> 00:52:02,576 - New York's a city. - Not in the summer. 716 00:52:02,577 --> 00:52:06,747 I remember when I first came to town, I was just a kid but oh, my God, 717 00:52:06,748 --> 00:52:11,543 it hit me: The noise, buildings, the crowds. I'll set the scene for ya. 718 00:52:11,544 --> 00:52:17,466 There's a garbage strike. So, it stinks. There's a subway strike. 719 00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:22,137 You can't get to work. Construction everywhere. Jackhammers... 720 00:52:22,138 --> 00:52:25,557 - It's Chippendale! - Are driving people to the brink of madness. 721 00:52:25,558 --> 00:52:30,103 It's so hot, the sidewalks are buckling, rising up like Godzilla. 722 00:52:30,104 --> 00:52:32,148 So the town is sweaty and ferocious. 723 00:52:32,190 --> 00:52:35,776 It's like, "Watch out! Let me through! Out of my way, you moron!" 724 00:52:35,777 --> 00:52:40,656 "Move it! Out of my way, I'm an angry, concrete animal!" Get it? 725 00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:42,949 But it's an absurd phrase. 726 00:52:42,950 --> 00:52:45,827 - It's poetry. - It's terrible writing. 727 00:52:45,828 --> 00:52:49,374 - That's what poetry is. - Jackie. - Next. 728 00:52:52,502 --> 00:52:57,172 All right, this section, where Neely O'Hara's a big star. 729 00:52:57,173 --> 00:53:01,677 - She comes home to find her husband... - Ted Casablanca. - Yeah. 730 00:53:01,678 --> 00:53:06,890 And he's in her Beverly Hills pool with another younger starlet. 731 00:53:06,891 --> 00:53:10,018 - In her pool that she paid for. - Yeah. 732 00:53:10,019 --> 00:53:15,232 Ted says he had to look elsewhere for sex 'cause Neely's always so tired. 733 00:53:15,233 --> 00:53:19,403 Because she's working on a picture! So she's always doped up. 734 00:53:19,404 --> 00:53:22,072 - That's real life. - Here's my problem. 735 00:53:22,073 --> 00:53:24,909 She says, "You're nuts. I catch you red-handed 736 00:53:24,951 --> 00:53:28,412 and you stand there with your dingle blowing in the breeze 737 00:53:28,413 --> 00:53:31,581 with a naked broad and you sermonize with me." 738 00:53:31,582 --> 00:53:34,877 - Isn't that great? Can you picture it? - It's so coarse! 739 00:53:35,044 --> 00:53:37,255 "Dingle blowing in the breeze"? 740 00:53:37,505 --> 00:53:41,007 Neely's an ex-chorus girl. That's how she talks. 741 00:53:41,008 --> 00:53:43,885 - But... dingle? - Yeah. 742 00:53:43,886 --> 00:53:47,013 - Dingle, dingle, dingle. - Stop that. 743 00:53:47,014 --> 00:53:49,933 - Haven't you got one? - No, I do not have a dingle. 744 00:53:49,934 --> 00:53:53,855 What do they call it around here, a butter churn? 745 00:53:55,898 --> 00:53:58,067 Next. 746 00:53:58,484 --> 00:54:03,196 Let's discuss Jennifer. She's 17. She's blonde. 747 00:54:03,197 --> 00:54:07,367 - She's stunning. - You love her? It's all about the tits. - Yes. 748 00:54:07,368 --> 00:54:11,289 After boarding school she runs off with Maria, the Spanish heiress. 749 00:54:11,330 --> 00:54:13,206 Right, the dyke. Ooh, radishes? 750 00:54:13,207 --> 00:54:16,960 - And they do nothing but have wild lesbian sex. - They're young. 751 00:54:16,961 --> 00:54:21,506 - You can't say that. - Why not? - Mimsy. 752 00:54:21,507 --> 00:54:25,635 Mimsy? Is that a code? 753 00:54:25,636 --> 00:54:30,849 Jackie, this is my grandmother, Mimsy. And my Great Aunt Abigail. 754 00:54:30,850 --> 00:54:33,101 - Are you the author? - Yes, hello. 755 00:54:33,102 --> 00:54:37,439 - We're in the middle of editing. - One sec. Let me ask you something. 756 00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:42,694 When you were in high school, did some of the girls get crushes on the other girls? 757 00:54:42,695 --> 00:54:45,822 Let me see. At Miss Porter's? 758 00:54:45,823 --> 00:54:48,743 Of course they didn't! You can't put that in a book. 759 00:54:49,786 --> 00:54:52,162 I remember Emily Winthrop. 760 00:54:52,163 --> 00:54:54,748 - Oh, yes. - Oh, Emily Winthrop. 761 00:54:54,749 --> 00:54:59,336 She was a year behind me. She was lovely. 762 00:54:59,337 --> 00:55:04,132 Tall, high breasted. What a collar bone. 763 00:55:04,133 --> 00:55:07,220 - And you liked her. - Very much. 764 00:55:07,261 --> 00:55:11,808 You can tell me everything. 765 00:55:13,976 --> 00:55:16,561 Oh, no! We're gonna be late! 766 00:55:16,562 --> 00:55:21,775 Bye, kids. And what do we tell Mom and Dad we want for Christmas? 767 00:55:21,776 --> 00:55:24,361 Valley of the Dolls. 768 00:55:24,362 --> 00:55:27,989 It's better than milk. 769 00:55:27,990 --> 00:55:31,117 I don't understand. Yes. 770 00:55:31,118 --> 00:55:34,246 Tony Polar. Tony Po... 771 00:55:34,247 --> 00:55:36,289 Ton... Adele! 772 00:55:36,290 --> 00:55:38,416 Adele! 773 00:55:38,417 --> 00:55:40,545 Thank you. 774 00:55:42,588 --> 00:55:45,715 So, Tony Polar is a rich successful singer. 775 00:55:45,716 --> 00:55:49,469 - But you say he has a dark secret. - The darkest. 776 00:55:49,470 --> 00:55:52,348 He had scarlet fever as a baby and ever since then 777 00:55:52,390 --> 00:55:55,433 he's had the mental abilities of a 7 year old. 778 00:55:55,434 --> 00:55:57,936 And no one notices? 779 00:55:57,937 --> 00:56:00,480 That's right. 780 00:56:00,481 --> 00:56:04,192 Are you saying that if a man is sexy and good in bed, 781 00:56:04,193 --> 00:56:07,280 no woman is going to care that he's an idiot? 782 00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:11,867 I certainly wouldn't. 783 00:56:11,868 --> 00:56:14,661 Absolutely not. 784 00:56:14,662 --> 00:56:17,330 Grow up. 785 00:56:17,331 --> 00:56:20,166 Michael? 786 00:56:20,167 --> 00:56:22,752 Father? 787 00:56:22,753 --> 00:56:25,881 I've just finished this manuscript. 788 00:56:25,882 --> 00:56:32,846 This immoral, brazen journey into the unspeakable hell of modern show business. 789 00:56:32,847 --> 00:56:35,181 And? 790 00:56:35,182 --> 00:56:39,060 I am Lyon Burke. 791 00:56:39,061 --> 00:56:41,856 Baby! 792 00:56:54,118 --> 00:56:57,788 Jackie? Irving has the car... 793 00:57:02,543 --> 00:57:05,171 Oh! 794 00:57:16,974 --> 00:57:19,643 - What are you doing? - Getting the luggage. 795 00:57:19,644 --> 00:57:21,728 Irving's got the car out front. 796 00:57:21,729 --> 00:57:24,357 Irving can get the luggage. 797 00:57:25,358 --> 00:57:28,485 All those pills, Jackie. I mean, they... 798 00:57:28,486 --> 00:57:32,906 They're for Irving. He has a vitamin deficiency. He needs niacin and B12. 799 00:57:32,907 --> 00:57:36,326 - They weren't vitamins. - Oh, for Christ's sake! 800 00:57:36,327 --> 00:57:40,330 Do I go through your room and ask you a lot of stupid questions? 801 00:57:40,331 --> 00:57:42,457 Who the hell do you think you are? 802 00:57:42,458 --> 00:57:46,169 - Jackie, I didn't know you were sick. - I'm not sick. 803 00:57:46,170 --> 00:57:48,798 I'm not sick! 804 00:57:49,799 --> 00:57:53,969 Sick people are losers. Sick people get nothing! 805 00:57:53,970 --> 00:57:59,891 Do you think that anybody's gonna buy a sexy book written by someone with cancer? 806 00:57:59,892 --> 00:58:05,063 That's not the point. That's the only point. Are you my friend? 807 00:58:05,064 --> 00:58:07,565 Your friend? 808 00:58:07,566 --> 00:58:11,945 You're a tight ass and you're a smart cookie, but are you my friend? 809 00:58:11,946 --> 00:58:14,990 I've never met anyone like you. 810 00:58:14,991 --> 00:58:17,826 That's not an answer! 811 00:58:17,827 --> 00:58:20,495 Let me explain to you. 812 00:58:20,496 --> 00:58:23,206 Friends help each other. 813 00:58:23,207 --> 00:58:28,421 And friends... don't tell. Get it? 814 00:58:30,464 --> 00:58:32,591 OK. 815 00:58:36,721 --> 00:58:39,305 Is there a secret handshake? 816 00:58:39,306 --> 00:58:42,476 Mikey, you made a joke. 817 00:58:42,518 --> 00:58:45,562 - I did? - Yeah. 818 00:58:45,563 --> 00:58:49,482 Well, it wasn't a great joke, but it's a start. 819 00:58:49,483 --> 00:58:52,319 You are my friend. You are my friend. 820 00:58:54,905 --> 00:58:58,825 - We're coming! We're having sex! - Good. Take your time. 821 00:58:58,826 --> 00:59:01,454 Jackie... 822 00:59:02,455 --> 00:59:05,041 I'm trusting you with my life here. 823 00:59:05,249 --> 00:59:07,835 I know. 824 00:59:08,836 --> 00:59:11,464 Thank you. 825 00:59:28,606 --> 00:59:32,776 You look great. Doesn't he look great? 826 00:59:32,777 --> 00:59:37,989 Oh, he looks wonderful. So handsome, like a Greek god. 827 00:59:37,990 --> 00:59:43,203 Guess what? Your mom's book, it's gonna be a sensation. 828 00:59:43,204 --> 00:59:45,831 I'm gonna make you so proud. 829 01:00:07,144 --> 01:00:11,356 He seemed better. Did he seem better to you? 830 01:00:11,357 --> 01:00:13,400 Yes. He looks good. 831 01:00:16,487 --> 01:00:19,572 They take good care of him. 832 01:00:19,573 --> 01:00:22,075 I should hope so. 833 01:00:22,076 --> 01:00:26,454 Irving, you can't put a price on this. You're right. 834 01:00:26,455 --> 01:00:29,083 He deserves the best. 835 01:00:30,084 --> 01:00:33,254 That's why this book has got to be gigantic. 836 01:00:47,059 --> 01:00:50,062 Valley of the Dolls came rolling off the presses... 837 01:00:50,104 --> 01:00:52,272 and Jackie took the country by storm. 838 01:00:52,273 --> 01:00:57,069 - She invented a whole new way of selling books. - Hello, boys! 839 01:00:59,155 --> 01:01:03,116 - I'm Jackie Susann. I wrote a book. - Valley of the Dolls. 840 01:01:03,117 --> 01:01:07,162 Right now, you guys are loading that book onto those great big trucks. 841 01:01:07,163 --> 01:01:09,372 I just want you to know, I'm grateful. 842 01:01:09,373 --> 01:01:12,500 - We've got hot coffee. - And doughnuts. - And tea. 843 01:01:12,501 --> 01:01:16,213 So if when you deliver these, you say something to everybody 844 01:01:16,255 --> 01:01:18,882 about this lovely lady, we'd appreciate it. 845 01:01:18,883 --> 01:01:23,636 Because my book is about the sexiest, biggest hung guys in the universe. 846 01:01:23,637 --> 01:01:26,264 Who? 847 01:01:26,265 --> 01:01:29,059 - Teamsters. - Yeah! 848 01:01:33,689 --> 01:01:36,816 No matter where she was, she never stopped selling. 849 01:01:36,817 --> 01:01:39,402 Thar she blows. 850 01:01:39,403 --> 01:01:41,988 Yikes. 851 01:01:41,989 --> 01:01:46,159 - Are you ready? - No, hold on a second. Read this. 852 01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:50,372 - Thank you. - In the cafeteria. 853 01:02:06,764 --> 01:02:09,474 I'm driving and I'm dreaming. 854 01:02:09,475 --> 01:02:11,602 And I'm on my way. 855 01:02:12,603 --> 01:02:15,773 As I go through life... 856 01:02:16,774 --> 01:02:19,985 We didn't know much about books, but we knew show business. 857 01:02:20,027 --> 01:02:22,904 If you want a hit, hit the road. And do your homework. 858 01:02:22,905 --> 01:02:24,989 Stroudsburg. Go. 859 01:02:24,990 --> 01:02:27,575 Gladrey's Book Nook, Harry and Irma. 860 01:02:27,576 --> 01:02:31,246 - When's Irma's birthday? - Today. 861 01:02:31,247 --> 01:02:34,458 - You're cooking, baby. - What else? 862 01:02:36,543 --> 01:02:39,088 My dream is out there. 863 01:02:41,131 --> 01:02:46,344 Never gonna stop till that dream is mine... 864 01:02:46,345 --> 01:02:49,472 - Mr. Gladrey? I'm Irv Mansfield. - Yes? Who? 865 01:02:49,473 --> 01:02:53,226 And there's someone very new and exciting I'd like you to meet. 866 01:02:53,227 --> 01:02:54,686 Get ready for lightning. 867 01:02:54,687 --> 01:02:59,899 Get ready for love. Get ready for Miss Jacqueline Susann! 868 01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:04,404 - Harry! How are ya? - Do I... do I know you? 869 01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:09,075 - You do now. I've written a book you'll love. - Valley of the Dolls. 870 01:03:09,076 --> 01:03:13,871 - When I decided to publish, the first thing I told my publisher... - Henry Marcus. 871 01:03:13,872 --> 01:03:17,083 Was Gladrey's Book Nook, Stroudsburg, PA. 872 01:03:17,084 --> 01:03:20,003 Harry, who are these people? 873 01:03:20,004 --> 01:03:23,006 - Irma! - Darling, you look great. 874 01:03:23,007 --> 01:03:27,176 - How do you know my name? - Everybody knows Irma Gladrey. 875 01:03:27,177 --> 01:03:30,722 Happy birthday to you. 876 01:03:30,723 --> 01:03:35,059 Happy birthday to you... 877 01:03:35,060 --> 01:03:38,604 Good morning. Have you got Jackie Susann? 878 01:03:38,605 --> 01:03:41,107 - Who? - Well, you do now. 879 01:03:41,108 --> 01:03:44,610 - Lester! Baby! - That's Lester. 880 01:03:44,611 --> 01:03:46,696 Dick! Sweetheart! 881 01:03:46,697 --> 01:03:50,868 Somewhere in the world there's a place for me. 882 01:03:53,787 --> 01:03:57,958 Somewhere I will find me a new life... 883 01:04:05,924 --> 01:04:08,343 Sisters! 884 01:04:08,344 --> 01:04:12,055 God love you. 885 01:04:12,056 --> 01:04:16,060 If you love the Old Testament, you'll love Valley of the Dolls. 886 01:04:27,821 --> 01:04:32,034 And I'm on my way... 887 01:04:35,746 --> 01:04:37,789 Henry? 888 01:04:37,790 --> 01:04:43,212 - They're in Montana. - So? - There are no book stores in Montana. 889 01:04:43,420 --> 01:04:46,382 It's not a book anymore. It's a bestseller. 890 01:04:55,140 --> 01:04:59,310 Today was pure sunshine in Boise. What will tomorrow bring? 891 01:04:59,311 --> 01:05:03,481 Let's ask our celebrity weathergirl, novelist Jacqueline Susann. 892 01:05:03,482 --> 01:05:06,192 Well, Earl, bad news. 893 01:05:06,193 --> 01:05:10,863 It looks like rain, from the border right on down to Sun Valley... 894 01:05:10,864 --> 01:05:13,241 of the Dolls. 895 01:05:13,242 --> 01:05:16,786 First, we begin by whisking our eggs. 896 01:05:16,787 --> 01:05:18,664 Next, we grease our skillet. 897 01:05:18,705 --> 01:05:22,625 Jackie, which do you prefer, margarine or vegetable oil? 898 01:05:22,626 --> 01:05:24,919 I don't know. I order out. 899 01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:27,588 - You order out breakfast? - You bet. 900 01:05:27,589 --> 01:05:29,757 Any woman who cooks is a fool. 901 01:05:29,758 --> 01:05:31,342 Don't cook. 902 01:05:31,343 --> 01:05:33,886 Read. 903 01:05:33,887 --> 01:05:39,475 She was on her way, to the biggest of the big. To Johnny. 904 01:05:39,476 --> 01:05:41,603 Jacqueline Susann. 905 01:05:50,279 --> 01:05:52,864 Doesn't she look great? 906 01:05:52,865 --> 01:05:55,992 What's your name again, Ken? 907 01:05:55,993 --> 01:05:59,120 Jim. Jim Morrison. 908 01:05:59,121 --> 01:06:01,789 Oh, a pleasure. Irving Mansfield. 909 01:06:01,790 --> 01:06:04,500 Everyone's saying my book's dirty. 910 01:06:04,501 --> 01:06:09,297 But I wonder, have they ever watched soap operas? 911 01:06:09,298 --> 01:06:12,968 Have they ever seen what housewives watch all day long? 912 01:06:15,846 --> 01:06:18,181 When you're washing floors everyday, 913 01:06:18,182 --> 01:06:21,642 you need a little something in your life to keep going. 914 01:06:21,643 --> 01:06:25,355 - Isn't she great? - Yeah, she's happening. 915 01:06:25,564 --> 01:06:30,526 Jackie was getting big, really big. You could tell by her enemies. 916 01:06:30,527 --> 01:06:35,323 My guest is the flamboyant and often controversial author, Truman Capote, 917 01:06:35,324 --> 01:06:39,995 whose latest book, In Cold Blood, has created an international sensation. 918 01:06:40,037 --> 01:06:41,579 Good to see you again. 919 01:06:41,580 --> 01:06:44,665 Thank you. It's always a pleasure to be here. 920 01:06:44,666 --> 01:06:47,376 Honey! Hurry up! You're gonna miss it. 921 01:06:47,377 --> 01:06:50,046 How do you feel about the competition? 922 01:06:50,047 --> 01:06:53,633 What about bestseller lists? How about Jackie Susann? 923 01:06:53,634 --> 01:06:59,180 Jackie Susann, please. That's not writing, that's typing. 924 01:06:59,181 --> 01:07:04,268 - How can he say that? - She's a virtual illiterate. - Nasty. 925 01:07:04,269 --> 01:07:10,024 Have you ever seen her in those sleazy gowns with all that hair? 926 01:07:10,025 --> 01:07:14,153 She looks like a truck driver in drag. 927 01:07:14,154 --> 01:07:18,408 But no-one could stop her. We were number one. 928 01:07:24,164 --> 01:07:28,334 I really wanna surprise her at the party. Something big time. 929 01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:31,462 Don't worry. We'll find something. It's here. 930 01:07:31,463 --> 01:07:34,006 What do you think she'd like? 931 01:07:34,007 --> 01:07:37,553 - Flo? What is it, a valve? - Oh, my God. Pearls. 932 01:07:37,761 --> 01:07:42,723 - Black and white pearls. - Pearls for Jackie? 933 01:07:42,724 --> 01:07:45,727 Irving, if a man bought me those pearls, 934 01:07:45,769 --> 01:07:49,689 not only would I have sex with him, I would enjoy it. 935 01:07:49,690 --> 01:07:52,484 The pearls, aren't they superb? 936 01:07:53,485 --> 01:07:55,528 A bit expensive. 937 01:07:55,529 --> 01:08:00,741 Come on. Buy them. It's her money. 938 01:08:00,742 --> 01:08:04,036 I don't know. Maybe a brooch. 939 01:08:04,037 --> 01:08:06,373 My treat. 940 01:08:08,417 --> 01:08:10,586 Yeah. 941 01:08:42,159 --> 01:08:45,286 Hey, can we help you? 942 01:08:45,287 --> 01:08:47,872 I'm fine. I'll be right there. 943 01:08:47,873 --> 01:08:50,458 What an evening. 944 01:08:50,459 --> 01:08:55,129 The Waldorf Astoria, the grand ballroom, for a book. 945 01:08:55,130 --> 01:08:59,008 The guest list is unbelievable. Everyone said yes. 946 01:08:59,009 --> 01:09:02,470 Where is she? Everyone's waiting. 947 01:09:02,471 --> 01:09:05,098 Jacqueline. 948 01:09:26,119 --> 01:09:30,665 Jackie! That dress, 949 01:09:30,666 --> 01:09:32,750 that outfit! 950 01:09:32,751 --> 01:09:37,421 - Is it too much? Is it over the top? - Not one little bit. 951 01:09:37,422 --> 01:09:41,133 You don't think it's too vulgar, too trashy? 952 01:09:41,134 --> 01:09:44,053 Too... Jackie Susann? 953 01:09:44,054 --> 01:09:46,263 It's absolutely perfect. 954 01:09:46,264 --> 01:09:49,016 Then maybe I should change. 955 01:09:49,017 --> 01:09:53,229 Everything's set. Triple checked, all systems... go. 956 01:09:53,230 --> 01:09:58,401 Wow. You look so famous. 957 01:09:58,402 --> 01:10:02,697 - Come on. Jesus Christ, you have to get dressed. - I am dressed! 958 01:10:02,698 --> 01:10:05,282 She looks fabulous. 959 01:10:05,283 --> 01:10:09,787 But that frock, it's so shy, so reclusive. It needs something... 960 01:10:09,788 --> 01:10:12,373 Let me think. 961 01:10:12,374 --> 01:10:14,709 Jackie, something "Valley". I don't know. 962 01:10:14,710 --> 01:10:18,629 Maybe... Oh, yes. 963 01:10:18,630 --> 01:10:23,634 - This. - Oh, my God! Is it real? 964 01:10:23,635 --> 01:10:29,432 - I must be making you a fortune! - For the woman, who as of Sunday, 965 01:10:29,433 --> 01:10:33,437 remains the number one bestselling author in America. 966 01:10:35,522 --> 01:10:39,817 Thank you, Henry. Thank you. Irving, look at this! Can you believe it? 967 01:10:39,818 --> 01:10:45,030 You deserve it. Every stone, every carat. We'll have it appraised. 968 01:10:45,031 --> 01:10:49,618 So tell me, did Hemingway ever get one of these? He'd be alive today. 969 01:10:49,619 --> 01:10:52,747 Come on, pussycats, we have to go. 970 01:10:52,748 --> 01:10:56,667 - What a night this is gonna be. - It's gonna be a blast. 971 01:10:56,668 --> 01:10:59,546 Where is the elevator? 972 01:11:13,935 --> 01:11:18,439 Thank you, thank you. I'm Henry Marcus. No, that's not it. 973 01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:22,610 I'm Jackie Susann's publisher. 974 01:11:22,611 --> 01:11:25,780 A few months ago, Jackie was a young girl with a dream. 975 01:11:25,781 --> 01:11:30,993 Now from what I read, she's an even younger girl with a bestseller. No! 976 01:11:30,994 --> 01:11:33,829 Make that the bestseller, 977 01:11:33,830 --> 01:11:37,792 because as of this week, Valley of the Dolls has racked on the list 978 01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:41,754 for 28 weeks, making it, that's right, 979 01:11:41,755 --> 01:11:45,383 the bestselling novel of all time. 980 01:11:56,436 --> 01:12:00,981 So, up yours, Tolstoy. Ha! 981 01:12:00,982 --> 01:12:04,610 I say that with all sincerity. But, 982 01:12:04,611 --> 01:12:10,115 hey, please help me welcome a great writer, a record breaker, 983 01:12:10,116 --> 01:12:14,078 and one very happening chick. Ladies and gentlemen, 984 01:12:14,079 --> 01:12:17,457 I give you the champ, Miss Jacqueline Susann! 985 01:12:30,262 --> 01:12:32,805 Thank you. Thank you. 986 01:12:32,806 --> 01:12:35,391 Thank you. Thank you, all. 987 01:12:35,392 --> 01:12:40,312 This is the most exciting night of my life. This room, all of you. 988 01:12:40,313 --> 01:12:43,858 This is what I have waited for my whole life. 989 01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:49,697 And I just have to tell anybody out there who feels like they're nobody, listen. 990 01:12:49,698 --> 01:12:54,493 If they tell you you have no talent, that it's never gonna happen for you, 991 01:12:54,494 --> 01:12:57,997 that you're some loud, crude, pushy little nothing 992 01:12:57,998 --> 01:13:00,708 in a tight dress and too much make-up, 993 01:13:00,709 --> 01:13:04,170 tell them, "Hey! Just look at Jacqueline Susann!" 994 01:13:09,342 --> 01:13:12,929 Number one! 995 01:13:19,144 --> 01:13:23,314 - Where's Irving? - I don't know. I haven't seen him. 996 01:13:23,315 --> 01:13:27,067 We have a special surprise for a real numero uno. 997 01:13:27,068 --> 01:13:30,613 We have a pair of numero unos to serenade you. 998 01:13:30,614 --> 01:13:35,452 Jackie, may I present Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme! 999 01:13:43,251 --> 01:13:46,295 - You're walking along the street - Can you believe this? 1000 01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:48,965 - You're at a party - Thank you. 1001 01:13:49,174 --> 01:13:53,135 Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig. 1002 01:13:53,136 --> 01:13:55,846 You're looking in someone's eyes. 1003 01:13:55,847 --> 01:13:57,932 You suddenly realize. 1004 01:13:57,933 --> 01:14:01,685 That this could be the start of something big. 1005 01:14:01,686 --> 01:14:04,606 You're lunching at 21. 1006 01:14:04,648 --> 01:14:07,733 And watching your diet, girl. 1007 01:14:07,734 --> 01:14:09,818 Declining a Charlotte Russe. 1008 01:14:09,819 --> 01:14:11,904 Accepting a fig Fig, fig. 1009 01:14:11,905 --> 01:14:14,615 When out of a clear blue sky. 1010 01:14:14,616 --> 01:14:16,700 It's suddenly gal and guy. 1011 01:14:16,701 --> 01:14:20,746 And this could be the start of something big. 1012 01:14:20,747 --> 01:14:22,831 There's no controlling... 1013 01:14:22,832 --> 01:14:26,127 Have you ever seen anything like this in your life? 1014 01:14:26,169 --> 01:14:28,421 I'm the luckiest girl in the world! 1015 01:14:29,798 --> 01:14:32,968 But when a lover... 1016 01:14:34,803 --> 01:14:39,807 ♫ .. Without a second look 1017 01:14:39,808 --> 01:14:44,812 You're watching the sun come up, counting your money, girl. 1018 01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:46,313 Or else in a dim cafe. 1019 01:14:46,314 --> 01:14:49,400 You're ordering wine, wine, wine. 1020 01:14:49,401 --> 01:14:51,236 And suddenly there she is. 1021 01:14:51,277 --> 01:14:54,571 You wanna be where she is. 1022 01:14:54,572 --> 01:14:56,156 This must be the start of something. 1023 01:14:56,157 --> 01:14:58,701 This could be the heart of something. 1024 01:14:58,702 --> 01:15:04,249 This could be the start of something big! 1025 01:15:59,345 --> 01:16:03,098 I'm sorry, I just don't understand. 1026 01:16:03,099 --> 01:16:06,643 What's to understand? I was busy, checking on things. 1027 01:16:06,644 --> 01:16:09,229 You abandoned me. 1028 01:16:09,230 --> 01:16:14,026 You were surrounded. There was an army. Your army, with cameras. 1029 01:16:14,027 --> 01:16:16,528 But I needed you. 1030 01:16:16,529 --> 01:16:18,781 You did? 1031 01:16:18,782 --> 01:16:21,366 - Yeah. - Why? 1032 01:16:21,367 --> 01:16:24,412 Why?! Why?! For a million reasons. 1033 01:16:24,454 --> 01:16:27,998 To keep me company. To hold my hand. To love me. 1034 01:16:27,999 --> 01:16:31,126 - Just to be there. - Stop. 1035 01:16:31,127 --> 01:16:36,090 - Just stop. - Why? Stop what? - Baby, it's done. 1036 01:16:36,091 --> 01:16:40,844 - What do you mean "done"? - You're famous. 1037 01:16:40,845 --> 01:16:44,349 You're international, like an airport. 1038 01:16:44,557 --> 01:16:49,062 But what does that have to do with your just running off like that? 1039 01:16:49,104 --> 01:16:50,772 What's going on with you? 1040 01:16:51,397 --> 01:16:56,276 Nothing. I'm fine. I need a paper. 1041 01:16:56,277 --> 01:16:59,446 But it's 5 A.M.! Where are you going? 1042 01:16:59,447 --> 01:17:02,075 I'm not tired. 1043 01:17:05,578 --> 01:17:10,166 I don't know what's gotten into him. Ever since the Waldorf a month ago. 1044 01:17:10,208 --> 01:17:15,379 He wants to be a producer again. He's got all these projects, musicals, TV specials. 1045 01:17:15,380 --> 01:17:17,965 All of a sudden, he's never home. 1046 01:17:17,966 --> 01:17:22,010 I'm not implying anything nor would I ever imply anything. 1047 01:17:22,011 --> 01:17:28,016 However, did it ever occur to you that he just might be, you know? 1048 01:17:28,017 --> 01:17:33,606 - He is a man, after all. - What? Say it. 1049 01:17:34,607 --> 01:17:38,611 You think...? You think he's handling someone else? 1050 01:17:40,321 --> 01:17:43,199 I made him give up personal clients. 1051 01:17:45,243 --> 01:17:51,498 Yeah, I got a lot of things on the boil. A game show, a variety hour. 1052 01:17:51,499 --> 01:17:55,127 I'm thinking of putting together some kind of rock thing, 1053 01:17:55,128 --> 01:17:57,337 like a book that... whatshername? 1054 01:17:57,338 --> 01:18:01,466 Janis Joplin, Ken Morrison. We really hit it off. 1055 01:18:01,467 --> 01:18:07,723 The Who, The What. Maybe some pretty girls. Topo Gigio, mix it up. 1056 01:18:07,724 --> 01:18:10,894 Your old man's back on track. 1057 01:18:35,543 --> 01:18:38,171 Hi, sweetheart. 1058 01:18:47,472 --> 01:18:50,642 Come on, Mommy's gonna call Daddy. 1059 01:18:53,394 --> 01:18:58,233 Yeah, hello? Can I have Mr. Irving Mansfield's room, please. 1060 01:19:00,276 --> 01:19:02,861 He checked out? 1061 01:19:02,862 --> 01:19:05,447 - When? - Yesterday. 1062 01:19:05,448 --> 01:19:09,661 - May I help you with anything else? - No. No, thanks. 1063 01:19:16,376 --> 01:19:18,961 Josie, don't pull! 1064 01:19:18,962 --> 01:19:22,173 Hey, watch out, lady! 1065 01:19:23,675 --> 01:19:26,260 What the hell are you doing here? 1066 01:19:26,261 --> 01:19:28,845 It's a public park. 1067 01:19:28,846 --> 01:19:32,808 - Just a second, that's my tree. - Please, leave me alone. 1068 01:19:32,809 --> 01:19:36,728 - I thought you were in LA? - I came back on the redeye. 1069 01:19:36,729 --> 01:19:40,691 - I thought you were my husband. - You don't need a husband. 1070 01:19:40,692 --> 01:19:44,027 - You're right. - I know I am. - I don't need a husband. 1071 01:19:44,028 --> 01:19:48,156 - Anybody can have a husband. I'm Jackie Susann. - That's right. 1072 01:19:48,157 --> 01:19:51,077 And I'm Irving Mansfield. I've got my own life. 1073 01:19:51,119 --> 01:19:53,620 I've got my own schedule. And I'm booked. 1074 01:19:53,621 --> 01:19:57,749 - Well, good for you. - Yeah! Good for me! 1075 01:19:57,750 --> 01:20:01,712 - So, you're quitting on me? - That's right. I'm off the payroll. 1076 01:20:01,713 --> 01:20:04,298 Well, it's about time. 1077 01:20:04,299 --> 01:20:06,342 I don't need a publicist any more. 1078 01:20:06,384 --> 01:20:09,511 I get all the press I want. They're coming to me now. 1079 01:20:09,512 --> 01:20:15,643 - Well, I'm glad to hear it. - All I need now is just someone who knows. 1080 01:20:16,644 --> 01:20:19,439 Knows what? 1081 01:20:21,482 --> 01:20:25,652 Someone who knows everything I never ever wanna talk about. 1082 01:20:25,653 --> 01:20:29,781 Someone who knows what I look like without this get-up. 1083 01:20:29,782 --> 01:20:33,995 Someone who knows that Guy doesn't have asthma. 1084 01:20:42,712 --> 01:20:46,131 - I won't tell. - Irving, don't make me beg. 1085 01:20:46,132 --> 01:20:49,259 I need you. You know why? 1086 01:20:49,260 --> 01:20:53,722 'Cause from the very beginning you thought I WAS famous. 1087 01:20:53,723 --> 01:20:57,267 - Stop. - Irving, 1088 01:20:57,268 --> 01:21:02,230 we're making a shit load of money. There's new deals coming in everyday. 1089 01:21:02,231 --> 01:21:06,944 So, I'm asking you, Irving, will you...? 1090 01:21:09,113 --> 01:21:12,032 Will you be my agent? 1091 01:21:12,033 --> 01:21:15,702 Don't. Don't tease me. 1092 01:21:15,703 --> 01:21:19,874 I'm not. I mean it, every word. 1093 01:21:20,083 --> 01:21:23,336 I want you to make my deals. 1094 01:21:25,797 --> 01:21:28,174 Even movies? 1095 01:21:28,591 --> 01:21:31,511 With my attorney? 1096 01:21:31,719 --> 01:21:35,847 I don't know. It's so sudden and... 1097 01:21:35,848 --> 01:21:40,060 - Make your deals? It's such a commitment. - But you're ready. 1098 01:21:40,061 --> 01:21:44,148 I can feel it. Oh, Irving, come on. We can be even bigger. 1099 01:21:46,192 --> 01:21:48,527 Yes. 1100 01:21:48,528 --> 01:21:51,655 - Yes? - Yes. 1101 01:21:51,656 --> 01:21:55,450 - And I get 15%? - 10.12. 1102 01:21:55,451 --> 01:21:57,703 Point five. 1103 01:21:58,704 --> 01:22:00,915 I'm in. 1104 01:22:02,959 --> 01:22:04,043 Wait. 1105 01:22:09,132 --> 01:22:12,259 All right. We're almost even. 1106 01:22:12,260 --> 01:22:16,472 Just one more thing, one more item and I'll tear up our bill. 1107 01:22:18,516 --> 01:22:21,643 Ten more years. That's all I'm asking. 1108 01:22:21,644 --> 01:22:24,229 Just ten. 1109 01:22:24,230 --> 01:22:26,858 With an option. 1110 01:22:31,904 --> 01:22:37,117 She got her ten years. She had a great agent. 1111 01:22:37,118 --> 01:22:41,289 There were movies and premieres. 1112 01:22:48,296 --> 01:22:51,466 Jacqueline Susann and Irving Mansfield! 1113 01:22:55,678 --> 01:22:59,514 You should know, honey. You just came out of the nut house. 1114 01:22:59,515 --> 01:23:02,017 It was not a nut house! 1115 01:23:02,018 --> 01:23:05,605 Look, they drummed you right out of Hollywood. 1116 01:23:10,776 --> 01:23:14,404 I hate this movie. They've ruined it! 1117 01:23:14,405 --> 01:23:17,033 It's gonna make a fortune. 1118 01:23:17,617 --> 01:23:20,952 - You think so? - At least I never married one! 1119 01:23:20,953 --> 01:23:25,666 - You take that back, you old... - Get your hands off me! 1120 01:23:33,424 --> 01:23:37,385 We hit the road again, but this time, we did it right. 1121 01:23:37,386 --> 01:23:40,014 No more road maps for us. 1122 01:23:45,186 --> 01:23:49,356 But Jackie never forgot who'd been there for her at the beginning. 1123 01:23:49,357 --> 01:23:53,319 Though she definitely enjoyed meeting interesting new playmates, 1124 01:23:53,444 --> 01:23:55,987 like Onassis and that other Jackie. 1125 01:23:55,988 --> 01:23:59,200 Those were great days. She'd never been happier. 1126 01:24:04,997 --> 01:24:10,211 No matter how celebrated she became, she never got too ritzy for fans. 1127 01:24:16,509 --> 01:24:20,221 You know, if I sign this, you can't return it. 1128 01:24:27,937 --> 01:24:31,107 Irving, I'm glad you made me do this. 1129 01:24:32,108 --> 01:24:35,026 Well, it's another smash, baby. 1130 01:24:35,027 --> 01:24:37,946 You're packing 'em in, and in this weather. 1131 01:24:37,947 --> 01:24:40,658 - Isn't it great? - Yeah. 1132 01:24:40,866 --> 01:24:45,036 - You wanna drive over and say hello? - Oh, no. 1133 01:24:45,037 --> 01:24:48,164 I don't look so hot. 1134 01:24:48,165 --> 01:24:50,793 This is enough. 1135 01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:08,768 You look swell in that T-shirt. Doesn't he look swell? 1136 01:25:08,769 --> 01:25:15,025 Guy, I have to tell you, your father thinks everybody looks swell in that T-shirt. 1137 01:25:15,026 --> 01:25:19,195 You must have grown five inches in a week. You're like an oak tree. 1138 01:25:19,196 --> 01:25:22,324 - OK, let's show Mommy. - Show Mommy what? 1139 01:25:22,325 --> 01:25:25,452 Jackie, watch this. Way to go. 1140 01:25:25,453 --> 01:25:28,580 Huh? Isn't that great? 1141 01:25:28,581 --> 01:25:32,793 I tried it a few weeks ago. He didn't forget. 1142 01:25:33,794 --> 01:25:36,921 Honey, are you OK? Should we sit? 1143 01:25:36,922 --> 01:25:40,050 Oh, no, I just need a sec. I'm fine. 1144 01:25:40,051 --> 01:25:44,263 Look at him. 1145 01:25:45,264 --> 01:25:49,851 - Like a movie star. - He's a heartbreaker. 1146 01:25:49,852 --> 01:25:52,480 Yeah. 1147 01:26:11,707 --> 01:26:15,877 - Please. Please, be careful. She's a celebrity. - Mind the bumps. 1148 01:26:15,878 --> 01:26:17,755 They're waiting at the hospital. 1149 01:26:18,422 --> 01:26:22,133 We got the big suite, the one where Liz Taylor had pneumonia. 1150 01:26:22,134 --> 01:26:24,219 - Irving? - Lie back. Rest. 1151 01:26:24,220 --> 01:26:26,597 I can't believe this. I'm astounded... 1152 01:26:26,639 --> 01:26:30,475 that you of all people would not tell me that she was here. 1153 01:26:30,476 --> 01:26:32,560 - I'm sorry. - How could you? 1154 01:26:32,561 --> 01:26:36,649 You know how she is about the cancer. She thinks it'd hurt sales. 1155 01:26:36,941 --> 01:26:41,778 - She doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for her. - I never would! 1156 01:26:41,779 --> 01:26:45,949 She is so brave. She's so utterly strong. 1157 01:26:45,950 --> 01:26:49,077 I know. She's the best. 1158 01:26:49,078 --> 01:26:52,123 I would play her. 1159 01:26:53,124 --> 01:26:57,085 Flo, don't go in there. She's resting. 1160 01:26:57,086 --> 01:26:59,839 Jacqueline? 1161 01:27:07,680 --> 01:27:09,682 What are you doing here? 1162 01:27:11,726 --> 01:27:15,186 Well, now, this is a fine thing. 1163 01:27:15,187 --> 01:27:17,397 I mean, I wanna know what's wrong. 1164 01:27:17,398 --> 01:27:20,484 Now, what is it? 1165 01:27:20,693 --> 01:27:24,863 Here I am, probably your best friend in the entire world... 1166 01:27:24,864 --> 01:27:27,949 and nobody tells me what's going on. 1167 01:27:27,950 --> 01:27:31,453 So... what's going on? 1168 01:27:31,454 --> 01:27:34,873 Is it... 1169 01:27:34,874 --> 01:27:37,626 a face-lift? 1170 01:27:40,796 --> 01:27:43,424 Yeah. 1171 01:27:44,425 --> 01:27:46,885 Well, 1172 01:27:46,886 --> 01:27:49,388 I guess it's time. 1173 01:27:54,143 --> 01:27:57,313 - Oh. - Look who's here. 1174 01:27:59,356 --> 01:28:01,441 Jackie. 1175 01:28:01,442 --> 01:28:04,027 Excuse me, this is a private room. 1176 01:28:04,028 --> 01:28:08,198 Oh, we're not really here. We thought you were Liz Taylor. 1177 01:28:08,199 --> 01:28:12,368 We knew we weren't supposed to come. But this is business. Business? 1178 01:28:12,369 --> 01:28:16,372 It's about the new book. We got this from your publisher in England. 1179 01:28:16,373 --> 01:28:21,669 We can only publish this work if you remove the profanity. Stop. 1180 01:28:21,670 --> 01:28:26,132 Specifically the word fuck. Stop. We hope this will not be a problem. 1181 01:28:26,133 --> 01:28:28,218 Please advise. 1182 01:28:28,219 --> 01:28:30,846 What do you want us to do? 1183 01:28:32,890 --> 01:28:35,518 Send 'em a telegram. 1184 01:28:36,519 --> 01:28:40,104 Dear England, fuck you. 1185 01:28:40,105 --> 01:28:42,065 Love, 1186 01:28:42,066 --> 01:28:44,359 Jackie Susann. 1187 01:28:44,360 --> 01:28:47,488 Stop. 1188 01:28:51,617 --> 01:28:54,744 She made the front-page, 1189 01:28:54,745 --> 01:28:57,872 all three dailies and every network. 1190 01:28:57,873 --> 01:29:00,959 She would have been thrilled. 1191 01:29:00,960 --> 01:29:03,670 I had lost my best friend. 1192 01:29:03,671 --> 01:29:07,800 But I knew she had gotten what she wanted, what she needed. 1193 01:29:08,801 --> 01:29:12,054 She'd made it all the way to number one. 1194 01:29:20,479 --> 01:29:24,649 In Jackie's books, when people get to be stars, they take Seconal, 1195 01:29:24,650 --> 01:29:29,863 Nembutal, they fall for the wrong people and then kill themselves in their cabanas. 1196 01:29:29,864 --> 01:29:34,076 Being famous, it's a bum rap. 1197 01:29:37,162 --> 01:29:39,747 But, you know what? 1198 01:29:39,748 --> 01:29:43,918 Jackie was a star. And she loved every minute. 1199 01:29:43,919 --> 01:29:48,047 She never got the breaks, so she made her own. 1200 01:29:48,048 --> 01:29:50,676 You gotta love that. 1201 01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:55,847 But you know how I like to remember her? 1202 01:29:55,848 --> 01:30:00,060 On that beautiful day in the Mediterranean. 1203 01:30:02,104 --> 01:30:05,231 On that boat, with Onassis, 1204 01:30:05,232 --> 01:30:08,651 knowing she'd made it at last. 1205 01:30:08,652 --> 01:30:11,237 At the top of the world, 1206 01:30:11,238 --> 01:30:13,698 at the top of her game. 1207 01:30:13,699 --> 01:30:17,244 I think I married the wrong Jackie. 1208 01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:25,628 Wasn't she great? 1209 01:30:30,799 --> 01:30:34,929 I looked at you. 1210 01:30:34,970 --> 01:30:38,056 Looking at me. 1211 01:30:38,057 --> 01:30:41,226 There we were. 1212 01:30:42,227 --> 01:30:46,440 And it just happened. 1213 01:30:49,526 --> 01:30:52,654 You were the one. 1214 01:30:52,655 --> 01:30:54,739 And you. 1215 01:30:54,740 --> 01:30:59,953 Were sent to. 1216 01:30:59,954 --> 01:31:02,038 Open my heart. 1217 01:31:02,039 --> 01:31:05,166 And to find. 1218 01:31:05,167 --> 01:31:09,380 The love that's there. 1219 01:31:12,424 --> 01:31:15,593 And just for you. 1220 01:31:15,594 --> 01:31:19,807 For always. 1221 01:31:21,850 --> 01:31:24,936 All of my hopes. 1222 01:31:24,937 --> 01:31:28,064 All of my dreams. 1223 01:31:28,065 --> 01:31:31,609 Everyone. 1224 01:31:31,610 --> 01:31:36,865 We'll share forever. 1225 01:31:39,952 --> 01:31:42,036 You were my love. 1226 01:31:42,037 --> 01:31:45,207 And you were. 1227 01:31:45,290 --> 01:31:48,418 Sent to. 1228 01:31:48,419 --> 01:31:51,546 Open my heart. 1229 01:31:51,547 --> 01:31:54,674 And to find 1230 01:31:54,675 --> 01:31:59,930 I live for you-u-u. 99165

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