All language subtitles for HB fiscal

You can't set foot twice in the same
stream.

Ha ha!

Gotta buy a dream dictionary.

Gotta get the lights, let's see.

Nope, that's not it. Nope, and wrong.

Gas! Who, what, how, and sometimes why
am I... My God, I'm... The President of

the United States!

Today

on

the show, WW2 is an inside job.

East of the Rockies, you got Hippo Wars.

Mr. President, what an honor! Listen,
I'm wondering if you'd be interested in

bringing your brand of populist, shadily
financed wisdom here to D .C. to join

my administration.

Can I still speak truth to power except
when truth becomes inconvenient to

power? Get out here, you!

You heard it here, folks!

I'm moving to D .C.!

You got F .O .R .S.!

Well, dearest wife, I did it. I finished
chapter one of my first thriller, A

Matter of Wife and Death. Plus, I'm
married.

To a woman! Harvey, honey, you've
written 27 thrillers, most of which are

airports or bus stations.

Those books don't count. They were
ghostwritten for the world's best

author cum billionaire, Phil Kinsebun.
If you like Phil Kinsebun books written

by Harvey Birdman, buy Terror on the
Tarmac, a Phil Kinsebun book written by

Harvey Birdman.

Yep, it's time the world had a book by
Harvey Birdman. Birdman, it's Phil.

Phil, I was going to call you. With
news.

I'm the president, and I can't be
president, Birdman.

Can't as in it's impossible and don't
want to.

We didn't even know you were president.

We've been off the grid. I got married,
Phil, to a... Listen closely, Birdman.

There are people out there who don't
want the truth to come out.

Violent, deadly people.

By violent, deadly people. A Bill Kemp's
debit book written by Harvey Birdman.

Cool. I forget. Was it violent, deadly
people that had a bus or a train

I remember tiny toilets.

Anyway, you know, Birdman, I've been
thinking about enough of the book. Our

has a loss of memory. He wakes up,
doesn't know who he is, but then a

woman comes and kisses him. In her
mouth, she's got a pill. The pill's got

memories in it. From the Russian
government.

Ah, Birdman.

Not sure why you're here, but good to
see you anyway.

I'm here about that delicate matter.
Birdman, I'm president.

They're all delicate matters. Don't be
shy. You're among friends here. Except

that guy, my secretary of, uh... Vice
president?

Secretary of vice president.

Get me out of this before I do something
crazy.

Like what? Like this.

Altoids, I've been looking for you
everywhere, my darlings. Come to Papa

Did you just launch a nuke? So me, isn't
it? And in 24 hours, it'll reach

Washington. Don't you mean Moscow?

No, silly.

Launching a rocket in Moscow isn't
crazy.

You have to recall it. Only another
president can recall that missile. Why

you? Because I'm crazy, Birdman. We
covered that. And I'm not sure I was

elected. We need a real president to get
it back, so you've got no choice but to

get me out of being president. You've
got to impeach me.

Uh... We're waiting.

I'll take the case?

Ha ha ha!

You can go home again.

Eh.

Tell him what we know, special advisor
to the president.

You're the president. That's all we
know. Except I don't remember running.

Nobody remembers, especially not me.
That's all we know. Number 46 .5.

Saluting. I don't understand. Who's
elected?

If I was elected.

Saluting. What he said in a non
-election year. One finger salute.

have no idea who, has hijacked the
system.

All we know is it's not a cabal of
billionaires who want to ram ruinous

down our throats using a clueless puppet
president as cover. If it were, I'd

know. My entire cabinet's filthy rich,
Birdman.

Filthy and rich. They never shower
because they don't have to.

Muskmelon!

The Department of Justice.

And there she is.

Where, where?

It's been 90 seconds since I've even
seen a she. Who's talking about Lady

Justice? Oh, typical Birdman.

Your new home. The Department of, uh,
Lawyers.

I hereby swear you in as the 86th... And
a half.

Attorney Corporal. Remember, Birdman,
you serve.

Ha ha!

At my pleasure.

It's a great honor, sir.

But isn't the job...

Attorney General? Look at him. First day
and he already wants a promotion.

Millennial.

Everyone meet Attorney General Bird
Girl. H .E. Bird Girl, the gang.

Easy, fella. She's not here to hurt me.
She's here to prosecute me. Which I will

do to the utmost of my ability, sir.

But how can I prosecute the president
when I'm really secretly his daughter,

Judy? No one can ever know my secret
identity because then it'll seem I got

job because I'm his daughter. And
that'll derail my father's presidency

lose my job. Which would mean my
investigation as attorney general to end

presidency would end.

Got it, Jet. Have to take care of
something.

But what exactly would it have to do
with recalling the missile you fired?

it up as president. Got it.

My inauguration. Never had one. But now
I'm getting impeached. So why not

combine them into one colossal...
Inaugure impeachment!

I'm getting inaugure peached. Let's get
this party started.

Plan first, then started.

What are we thinking? It's gotta be big.

The biggest ever. Sure, I guess. But
planning an event is all about... The

little things.

Planes soar through the sky. Who's that
tall, white guy? You won't believe your

eyes.

Tanks and missiles float. Travel -sized
cars of soap. I'm already in black tie.

Cause we're having an inaugural
impeachment.

So big it'll be fit for kings.

I'll tell you my party planning secret.

It's all about the little things.

The biggest marching band.

You've got tiny hands.

Not proportional to my glands.

Ha -ha!

It will be so fun. Never to be outdone.
Back off! I've got a straight son.

Want to know his party planning secret?

It's all about the little thing.

It's gonna be so stupendous.

Tiny things are so tremendous.

It's all...

Birdman, meet our amazing assistant.

Deirdre!

I don't see anyone.

She's right there. You're offending her.

Uh, hi there, Deirdre.

Harvey Birdman, an attorney and former
superhero who now writes political

thrillers slash spy novels. Would you
like to hear his theme song?

Any messages?

I ordered more fabric softener sheets,
and there are 19 hours before Washington

is destroyed by a nuclear weapon.

Man, I haven't whipped a dryer sheet in
years.

Total sense memory.

Deirdre, how do you impeach a president?

Researching. Would you like to hear
songs from Turner's Music Library?

Seven hours and no closer to the smoking
gun.

Eggroll? It's nearly impossible to
impeach a president.

I can't put my finger on why, but I feel
like the answer is in here.

Wait! That's it!

Which is why I said with disdain in my
voice, you can't tell a cannoli joke

anymore. They've declared war on cannoli
jokes, Potiphar!

Peter, Peter, can I just ask you a
question? Where does your funding come

for Peter Potiphar?

Well, you're so smart, you tell me.

That's $19 .95.

That one's on the house.

And by on the house, I mean $12 .95.

No, I think the book argues the
opposite.

I'm reading a great book. Oh? What's it
about?

Uh... Carefully.

It's about talking about great books.
You've read it.

Parties! I haven't heard of it.

Do you have that book about talking
about great books you've read at

Hey, should we be stalking the book
about talking about great books you've

at parties? Hey, Raleigh, you realize I
can't hear you until I open the door,

right? I want the book!

I want the book!

I want the book!

I want the book! I want the book!

Mr. President, the invitations are
ready. Come to daddy.

The Presidential Inaugural Committee
requests the honor of your presence at

inaugural impeachment of Philippian
Kenneth Seven, President of the United

States, for now, tonight, 6 p .m.,
hyphen, question mark.

And tweeting.

He's tweeting again. We've got to hurry.

Deirdre, please send him in.

Playing Deposition Classics.

Have a seat, Mr. Potamus.

We've been doing some digging.

The book doesn't exist. I get nervous
making small talking parties.

What are you talking about?

Mr. Potamus, we wanted to ask...

I helped get Philkin seven elected, but
you'll never be able to prove it.

I don't even got arms. I got hands.

You weren't supposed to get this far.

We're Fox.

They're trying to silence me. Deadly
people.

Violent, deadly people are coming for
me.

You tell us what you know about how
that... Phil got elected and we'll get

protection in a good sentence. You and
nouns and verbs.

What the hell? I'm done in this town.

Everything you need to know.

Right here.

Ice cream. No, Iceland.

The country.

You try cursive in with hooves.

Okay. So let me get this straight, man.

We are doing all this, man, just in case
he's coming over?

Oh, he'll come over all right.

Over due for a visit.

Only a matter of time.

You think the comma's too much? I
thought you had, like, moved on, man.

Oh, I have.

I just want him to see that I have moved
on.

Needs to see it.

I've got to give up dairy.

No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Those mangoes took hours to boil.

Tangy!

Bone!

Bring it. Ernie, it's me.

I'm moved.

Me who?

Me, me. Phil.

That's good.

Ken Seven.

My first name, Phil. What? Yeah, old
Phil Ken Seven. No, that's my middle

Seven? I think it's Polish. Don't know.
Listen, I'm having an inaugural

impeachment. And I need a big, enormous,
dumbass stunt that's not going to

bankrupt the treasury because I ran as a
fiscal conservative.

No, you didn't. Money's no object.

Who? Have at it.

You think this is it?

Your trouble's gone.

And just like that, your cares are ran.

Want to strangle your kids?

Want to strangle someone else's kids?

Want to take a vacation but don't have
the cash?

Take a Mind Break. Mind Break.

For a small fee, we'll take your mind
and store it in our beautifully

temperature -controlled vault in upstate
New York. Mind Break.

A staycation for the mind.

It took the mind -taker. A huge number
of people's minds were taken in a single

day several weeks ago. Did you do that?

No, that was Elon Musk.

Of course I did that. I was paid to
break the minds of 140 million Americans

a few Canadians.

For they would go to the polls and vote
a comatose Phil Kinslevin into office

and have no memory of doing so. The
perfect crime.

Until I told you about it. And we have
you to thank, Harvey.

What? You were dead, hit by a bus.

I swooped in, mind -broke you, and
repaired your body here in the lab. And,

while I was at it, used you as an
external hard drive for my extensive

thriller audiobook collection.

You were the first mind -breaker, the
prototype.

Which is why I named you Adam.

But my name's Harvey.

I call you Adam. Who paid you?

I hope you brought your hearing ears,
because I'm about to... Oh, that's the

guy. If I'm not up there within 15
seconds, I'm out of toilet paper for a

Bump me.

Latitude and longitude.

Why do I have an erection? Oh, that's
mine. Give it back.

Traffic accident reported ahead.

Road may be wet.

Recalculating.

Oh, hey, it's Harvey, right?

Exit elevator.

In 32 steps, the destination will be
behind the door.

Um, if you want some room, you have to
book it through the app.

Last, the flex workers.

I want my dad's password or whatever.

Nah, I just wait until somebody puts the
whole episode up on YouTube.

The destination is in the desk.

If you're looking for your stapler, I
already sold it. And your house.

Quick update. Number one, there's a
missile headed toward Washington that'll

impact in an hour.

Two, President Phil Kinsevin fired that
missile.

Three, because he's crazy.

Please hold your gasps until the end.
Yes, Sally?

So you're saying he's crazy?

Yes. He was never elected because it's
not an election year.

Everyone's brain was put on pause. You
woke up with a new president and didn't

question it. It took President Seven to
question it. Brave, noble, and my daddy.

Is that a euphemism? Did the president
force you to role play?

And who was behind this illegitimate
presidency?

Well, I have the receipt right here.

It was ice cream. Who?

You got me!

I did it for the merch. These hats are a
goldmine. And when he's in peace, these

things will be collected.

You're still only $12 .95.

Come on, people. We got our party to get
on.

Now that we've established this man
wasn't elected, we can reinstate the

president to recall the missile. Ladies
and gentlemen, Black Vulcan.

Miss me much? Hey, everyone, we're post
-racial. What am I doing again?

Keep on turning.

That's bad, right? It's supposed to
turn, isn't it? Of course it won't. I am

impeached. Read your constitution,
people.

Swipe this from a gold star family.

I might have an idea.

Now somebody needs me. Just as I planned
going on two decades ago.

The prey becomes the... The prey.

X, remember that rocket I had you build
from the...

The black budget? The one we built for
killer asteroids.

And white supremacists, yeah, that one.
We need you to fire it at a missile

headed towards D .C.

Oh, okay then.

Well, let me jump.

Oh, what if there is a killer asteroid?

Come on! Right, right, tomorrow's the
problem.

Here we go!

Oh, come on.

a pizza roll?

Hey, I didn't order this.

It was sent by someone special.

Normally I'd question why the last part
of your sentence was said so ominously,

but this sushi ain't normal.

It's scrumptious.

Can I get another pair of chopsticks?

They got me!

Violent, deadly people got me!

Here, ginger.

Uh,

can we hurry this up?

Not it.

What? Don't know what rocket that was,
but it's not the one I launched.

He's right. There's another rocket. You
gotta impeach me.

Three miles to go, baby!

Jump in the sport!

And we're impeached.

The penalty for defacing a monument is
up to five months in prison or

impeachment. Way to go, Dad.

Not the Samuel Hahnemann Memorial.

Invented homeopathic medicine.
Completely saved my sinuses. Look.

I, Black Vulcan, do solemnly swear. The
rest is boilerplate. Push it.

After years of ghostwriting, I was ready
not only to write my own book.

but make myself the hero of my own book.
And the hero of your own life.

Oh, man.

I'm ready to start.

I'm here to announce my new book, United
States of Amnesia, by Phil Kensebent.

And soon to be a major motion picture
starring Tyler Perry as me. But you

urban.

Fish dinner tonight, honey?

Even though theirs was a loving marriage
and Harvey didn't own any firearms, a

jury found him and only him, and
certainly not Bill Ken 7, guilty of

wife and death.

Wait, wait, who framed Harvey?

Shush.

Yeah, ginger.