All language subtitles for The.Ultimatum.Queer.Love.S02E08.NF.WEB.h264-EDITH.en[cc]

♪ Looking back ♪

[JoAnna] Someone in the relationship
issued an Ultimatum.

Cheers, queers.

[all] Cheers.

[Kyle] I want someone
to want me and only me.

♪ You're the one I'm looking for ♪

[Britney] If we don't
figure this shit out,

I am willing to walk away.

[Dayna] I'm so much more confused
since giving the Ultimatum.

There's feelings there.

[Marie] I stand to lose everything,
my business,

the person who I wanted
to be with forever.

I just wasn't comfortable

making out.

[Pilar] Ugh.

Can we be done?

[Mel] We've teetered the line of,
could it be, could it not?

[moaning and panting]

My worst fear is if I'm ready for marriage
and Haley's in love with someone else.

[Magan] As important as it is
to have conversations,

it's also important to have sex.

[Haley] We did cross that line.

It was not one time.

I'm in love with Haley.

[Dayna] How can you
be in love with somebody else?

The biggest issue is how I receive love?

You put words in my mouth
over and over again.

Please don't touch me.

[Dayna] Oh my God.

My heart is shattered.

♪ Caught in a lie
You're on my mind ♪

♪ I can't forget you, babe
I'll be honest for a change ♪

♪ I'm out of time
Call it a crime ♪

♪ I can't forget you, babe
I'll be honest for a change ♪

I don't know how to talk to you right now.

I feel like everything I'm doing
is pushing you away.

No, I don't want you to think that.

And, like, I'm fully in this.

Like… it's been hard.

I can't tell you how to feel.

I can't tell you to choose me.

I can't tell you what happened
with you and Magan.

That's only for you.
And, like, me trying to give my opinion

or tell you how to feel
is me trying to control it

and make myself feel better,
and I can't do that.

That's going to push you away.

I think that's huge,
because in the themes of our relationship,

I think that we don't talk a lot
about you also wanting control,

because I am such a control freak.

My control comes from insecurity.

I'm just realizing that
a lot of it's coming from upbringing.

[voice breaking] That period
of your life that you're growing

and you're becoming a little human
is so impactful of who you become,

and I'm the person that I am
because I didn't get certain things.

And I didn't get that…
you're loved no matter what.

The people that brought me into this world
are fucking ashamed of me,

[crying] and I don't have a support system
and I don't have a mom to talk to,

and I don't have a family
that will walk down the aisle with me.

I don't have… that.

[Pilar sniffles]

Nothing I do is enough
because I'm with a woman.

It's like my self-worth is nothing…

because I love someone.

I feel like it's affected our relationship
because I've neglected you

because I've been so focused
on making myself feel better

that I've pushed you away, and I see that.

But I still love you unconditionally.

You're in love with someone else.

But that doesn't detract from our love.
I know that that's hard to hear.

This is not what I expected,

but it would be inauthentic,
and it would be lying to you

if I didn't share
that experience with you.

[Pilar] I know.

[sighs]

At the end of this,
we have a decision to be made.

I don't want you to be with me
because you're like,

"This is all I've known for ten years."

If you genuinely feel
you've felt something that you haven't,

I encourage you to do that
because I love you.

And, like, in the end,
if it's not us, so be it.

But, like, I really do believe in us,
and it's always been us.

And I think our love is so special
that, like, I'm not going to give up on it

until you tell me to stop.

[Haley] I love you.

I love you.

Can I hug you?

You smell nice.

You miss me?

Don't pull my shorts up like that.

You're so pretty.

♪ You're making me wanna love you ♪

♪Really, really love you ♪

♪ Wanna love you ♪

♪ You're making me ♪

♪ Feel alive ♪

I'm sorry that I hurt you.

It's just, it's very confusing for me.

[Dayna] It's the most
uncomfortable experience I've ever had.

Whenever I'm uncomfortable,
I just run. I walk away.

But I want to give this everything
so that I can be as informed as possible

when I walk away from this experience.

So I feel like I have no regrets.
I have no questions, no confusion,

no ifs, no nothing.

I want to be sure of everything
that I believe and feel.

[Magan] This is hard shit.

[Dayna] The hardest.

[Magan] You know,
I'm so happy to be with you.

[exhales] I feel like
you're my home, my comfort.

I didn't realize how much I missed it.

I missed you so much.

I missed you so much too.

[Magan] Take off your glasses.
I want to see your eyes.

I straight-up gave up.

I straight-up lost hope.

We know.

I'm not here
to, like, justify like what I did.

But I guess, like, I just wonder

if, like, I didn't have
those encounters with you,

if I would have had what I had
with Haley, like, sexually.

That's what bothers me,
is that I think that's exactly true.

The Magan I know
would have never done what you did.

You didn't have to go, like,
invest in someone else.

You didn't have to have
sexual relationships.

You threw it all away and effed off,

and didn't care
that you'd committed to an experience

that involved a three-week span of time
with me after this.

You just thought about yourself.

It was a test and you failed.

[Magan] I don't want you
to invalidate my experience.

I feel like I had a lot of growth,

and I had a genuine connection
with somebody.

You did have growth.

And yes, it led to,
like, sexual relations,

but that wasn't
the basis of my connection.

[Dayna] That doesn't make it better.

You opened your heart to someone.
The worst part. It makes me so sad.

I guess, like, I'm kind of confused,

because it's like,
you had sexual stuff with Mel.

It might not have been every single thing
like what Haley and I did,

but you were still sexual with Mel too.

You know? And you had
an emotional connection with Mel too.

But it was not sexual like you.

Kissing and stuff. It's not like that.

It was a comfort thing,
less than a, like, like, "Let's, like…"

It's just different.

I need surety that you're not gonna
turn your back on me, give up on us.

Like, you're riding for me
no matter what's going on

because you know who I am,
and you know what we have.

As much as I want to show you
that, like, I can be that person,

I need you to know that if you hurt me,
I'm not gonna be that person.

Yeah.

♪ I heard them
Talking about you yesterday ♪

♪ Hear your thoughts
And they don't add up ♪

♪ I'll say you were never the bad guy
Made some mistakes ♪

♪ But isn't that just life? ♪

♪ It was never safe out there
Safe out there ♪

♪ How can you feel safe out here
Safe out here? ♪

♪ It was never safe out there ♪

♪ How can I feel safe out there
without you? ♪

You look so pretty.

Thank you. You do too.

Sweetie pie.

-[kisses]
-[woman] Hello.

Hello.

-Hi!
-Hi!

[Ashley] I'm so happy you're here.

[woman] I know!

It's so beautiful.

[Marita] I know! Isn't this pretty?

This is where we did
our dating week, our first day of dating.

Oh, okay.

Ashley chose Bridget,
and then I ended up being with Britney.

We really got along so well,

and we both are very attentive and, like,
want to receive love in the same way,

so I think it was a perfect match.

She was able to do all these
romantic gestures for Marita so easily.

-You know that she likes that.
-And you like that.

Yeah. I do.

Since you have been back together
after being with someone else,

how does it feel? Does it feel weird?
Does it feel better or…?

Honestly, our first week
back together was horrible.

I kind of thought
out of everyone else here

that we had the least amount
of, like, problems.

It's like, wow,
we do have a lot of unpacked things.

[waiter] Spicy tuna crispy rice.

-Yum. Ooh. Thank you.
-So cute.

You guys would like that. It's like sushi.

[Marita] I've realized about like…
how Ashley and I kind of clash

is our conflict handling styles.

-[Allyson] For sure.
-[Alexis] Yeah.

[Marita] She wants to think about things.

And I need physical touch and reassurance
that you're still in love with me,

and you're not gonna leave me
and abandon me.

I've been trying
to sit here and figure out

why it's hard for me
to do things for her like that.

[Allyson] If you keep feeling that way,

then you should not even be together,
in my opinion.

[Alexis] There's issues going on
with both of you.

And until you both get on the same page,
it's just never gonna work.

[Ashley] We're trying
to be on the same page.

We have been the past three days,
which has been good.

We've finally had good days
just showing up for each other.

[Alexis] And I know
you guys love each other.

Like, there's no doubt in my mind
that you don't both love each other.

Like, that's not it. I just think that…

We're two different people
that handle things differently.

Differently. Because you want to feel
how you want to feel in a relationship.

Exactly.

And if it's forever, then don't accept
anything less than exactly what you want.

I feel like you guys have kind of
been going circle, circle, circle.

Sometimes you do have to be selfish
after so long.

Like, "Maybe I need to reevaluate
and just be done,"

even though that might be
the hardest thing.

It's a lot to lose though,
because I love her and her family

and, like, I love that
she gets along with you guys so well.

[Allyson] Marita, I love you. I think
you're the most beautiful person, like…

-Thank God, out of all…
-You're gonna make me cry!

-Don't cry.
-[Allyson] Of all the people she's dated.

[Ashley] I don't want anyone else.

[Marita] The Ashley that
shows up for me is trying,

-and, like, she's giving me what she can.
-Yeah.

And I need to, like,
look at the smaller things

and really appreciate
this time that I do have with her

because, like, we're never promised,
like, a tomorrow.

Right.

But in the same sense, like,
I do feel like I know what I deserve.

We want you to be so happy,

but if it's not meant to be,
it's not meant to be.

You either have the balls to make a change

or you decide, like,
you're gonna walk away for good.

♪ So let's go take a walk ♪

♪ I wanna feel the vibe ♪

♪ Ready or not
Here I come alive ♪

♪ I'm finally gonna fight ♪

♪ Or will you tell me that ♪

♪ Are you ready or not? ♪

[Mel] One of my big reasons

for not being able
to have an answer for Ultimatum Day

is I struggle to see myself

in a very long-term,

committed relationship.

I've never seen a happy married couple
in my immediate life.

I've never had just, like, a role model.

When I was growing up,
after my grandma passed,

I lived with my uncle and his girlfriend.

She would use me to help
crack his passwords on the computer

so she could find out if he's cheating.

The cops were at our house every day

because they were physically
getting into it with each other.

My home life was very tumultuous.

Do you think we would be like them?

I don't know.

I don't think we would be like them.

I get it. I mean,
I understand the fears behind it.

[exhales] I think if you break it down,

it really becomes into the smaller things.

I mean, four years of being together?

It's a daily choice to choose one another,
and every day is different.

Some days are easy, some days are hard,

but it's about our relationship
and what we make of it.

And you say that you don't see marriage
as something that ends up well.

Maybe you could be the first.

We aren't them.

I thought loving you so fiercely

would make you feel safe.

♪ Breathe in
Breathe out ♪

♪ In the space between heaven and now ♪

What are some things
that make you feel safe?

Love makes me feel safe.

Trusting someone makes me feel safe.

Check-ins.

Those are things
that make me feel the most unsafe.

The second you fully trust,
love, and care about someone,

what does that set you up for?

[Marie] It sets you up
for unconditional love,

for great Christmases,
great memories, best half birthdays.

It sets you up for a lifetime.

Okay.

My life has always been chaotic,
and that's what I'm used to.

So it's not that I don't think
I deserve safe and stable.

It's just I don't know
if that's what I want.

Truly.

[sighs] I don't really know
what to say to that.

Because I am safe and stable.

You are.

[Marie] That very much hurts.

Because it's worth it
to have a home in somebody.

I really do see that in you.

♪ Hold onto me ♪

♪ Stay here in my arms ♪

♪ Stay here in my arms ♪

♪ Stay here in my arms ♪

-[glasses clink]
-Cheers.

-First sunrise on the East Coast.
-[Pilar laughs softly]

[kisses]

[Haley] This was
a very different experience

than I thought it was going to be.

[Pilar] What did you learn
from your experience

that you're, like,
needing from ours or weren't getting?

I didn't feel like
I was being prioritized by you.

I did really feel like
I was being prioritized by her.

She was constantly checking in,

really taking the time to, like, ask,
"How are you feeling?"

I feel like I would tell you,
"I don't really want to go do this thing,"

and you'd be like, "Oh, but you're
gonna have fun when you get there."

And it just felt very go with the flow.

Obviously, I feel terrible
that you weren't prioritized.

I just want to be better for you…
and, like, show up for you.

I'm trying to not take
the confusion personally

because I genuinely keep coming back
to the fact of, like, you were just seen

in a way that I wasn't seeing you.

[Haley] I don't know.

It's hard to have the one side
of trying to put things together

about, like, why things happened,
how things happened.

Was it real? Was it not?

Pilar and I went out to a club,
and while we're there,

we see Magan and Dayna.

And it's the first time
that I'm seeing Magan in public.

Magan didn't even look at me.

And then on a whim,
I heard a song that I liked,

and I just sent it off to Magan,
and then Magan was like,

"Hey, I think that
we need to, like, cut all contact."

Not a good feeling.

So you spend three weeks with someone,

and develop feelings for them,

and then you're not allowed
to talk to them.

That is confusing.

There's inherently unfinished business.

♪ How can I support you ♪

♪ If I only knew ♪

♪ Stop keeping it from me ♪

♪ Just say it, baby ♪

[Dayna] Aw. [giggles]

[Magan] I just love you.

[Dayna] I love you too.

[Dayna sighs]

I'm always going to protect you,
and have your back.

I'm always going to be on your team.

But I think, like,
you do need to talk to Haley alone.

Now that I'm more clear on
the boundary I wanna have with her.

I want to reiterate it and, like,
make sure everyone's clear

-and make sure respect is there.
-Yeah.

I think that
you need to get really intentional

and clear about what you want to say.

See, but that's something
I also am concerned about,

because it's like…
friends can support each other.

Right now,
the relationship isn't appropriate.

If it needs more time
to happen, eventually--

It needs a lot of time.

That's not even a potentially soon thing,
at least for me.

-If you want to be with me.
-I've never had anybody like Haley before.

I've never dated anybody like Haley.

I've never, like,
related to anybody like Haley,

and so I just think
she's an important person

I'd want in my life.

Yeah. I just don't know
that the extent of your relationship

is, like, allowing that, to be honest.

Well, I think now it's too early to tell.

I just feel like
she's shown, though, that, like…

But hold on. I think
the intensity of the relationship

requires more time to just
kind of, like, come down from that.

I don't want to pass judgment on anyone.
People do the things they do,

and I'm going to address that
at the cocktail party.

[Dayna] So what do you plan
to tell her, then?

[Magan] Just the pettiness.

Come on, dude. I saw you in the gym.

You purposely avoided me,
and then you liked my picture.

Why the back and forth?

[Dayna] 'Cause she's playing games, bro.

So don't even start with me.

You're acting like I'm being crazy.

-Sometimes… Dayna…
-You'd have lost your shit.

You would've made me call Mel.

Tell her to get off my Instagram.
Blocked her.

You know damn well
that you would have lost your mind.

I'm handling this so well.

And do not act like
what she did is not crazy.

You still have doubts
or confusion around Haley.

In terms of, like,
future possibility with her?

Yeah.

No. I think I've gotten a lot of clarity.

You're a very sure person
when you're sure of something.

And you don't really sound like yourself
when you answer that question.

So that, like,
is a little bit concerning for me.

Not a little bit, a lot concerning for me.

I don't like that you can tell me
one day you want to marry me,

then I ask you that,
and you act like that.

♪ You know you took it too far ♪

♪ You said ♪

[Kyle] We've never really talked about…

[Bridget] Marriage?

No. We've never talked
about that with them, that's true.

Sure they'll wanna know…

Why I am not ready to marry you?

[Chris] Hey. Oh my goodness.

Hey, you guys.

-[Bridget] Hi.
-Bridget.

It's so good to see you.

-Hi.
-Seriously.

-Bridget. Good, how are you?
-Hi. How are you?

Good.

[Chris] We can't wait to hear.

Do you still see Pilar?

No. So when I… after I saw you,
we had about one more week,

and then we did the whole changeover
and I got back with Bridget.

Look at you holding hands.

Like a married couple.

Just like a married couple.

So do you think you understand
why you would get married

versus just be together?

I think I do,
but I think I'm not great at…

-Explaining it.
-[Bridget] Not articulating. Yeah.

I think for me, I'm just kind of, like,
confused about why you can't act

the way that we're acting now
without actually getting married,

or like what actual marriage
adds to anything.

The difference is commitment,

which means thick and thin,
building a life together.

Better or worse. Sickness and in health.

Do you think Kyle's ready for marriage?

I would say no.

[laughs in disbelief]

-Why?
-I don't think

you're secure in terms of job, finances.

But why can't I do that
while I'm getting married?

[Chris] Marriage itself is a huge effort,

and worrying about money

with another person who's also trying
to figure out their relationship to money

just adds an extra thing.

Do you think that you guys
could go pick a house to live in together,

figure out how much
you could afford together?

We're not looking to, like, buy a home

-just because we're married.
-We can't.

-Just 'cause you're married.
-It's not, "We're married, now a house."

[Bridget] These were all things
that I said coming in

that were reasons
for why I wasn't ready for marriage.

Which was like,
that we haven't figured out

a lot of other big things.

Yeah.

[Bridget] But you've always said

you don't think those things need to be
figured out before getting married.

I still don't understand
why it needs to be figured out.

If a couple is a boat and a sail,
you could use more boat.

-We could use more boat.
-Responsibility.

-Yeah.
-[Bridget laughs]

Wow, thank you.

[Bridget] I guess after having seen Kyle
with her first trial wife,

what differences do you see

-in seeing her with someone else?
-[Kyle] Yeah.

Pilar seemed very mature.

Yeah, I would say she is.

And she has a profession
that gives her security

and so gives the marriage security.

-And you and Bridget are two artists.
-[Bridget] Mm-hmm.

Which means, in my mind,
it makes life hard.

♪ So please take it easy ♪

♪ 'Cause my heart bleeds so easy ♪

♪ I know how to make you smile ♪

♪ Even just for a while ♪

[AJ] You know what I'm getting?

You're getting the spicy shrimp.

Ooh! Look at you
knowing what the fuck I like.

[Britney laughs]

I love you.

-I love you too.
-So much.

You're literally, like, my whole world.

And then some.

I'm sorry for not making you feel that
every single day.

You gave me the Ultimatum and…

I do want to answer that
to the best of my abilities.

I think maybe I'm just scared
that one day you'll wake up

and you'll know that you can do better.

You feel like you're not enough?

Sometimes.

Why?

Because everything that you've built,
you've done it so quickly.

And…

I don't want to be someone that just…

leans on you completely for everything.

I want you to see me as your equal.

In all aspects, not just your love.

I do view you as such.
I think you don't view yourself that way.

You're taking that out on me.

I just want to be more.

Then be more. Stop talking about it.

[waiter] All right, guys.
I have the barbecue items right here.

-Careful with the skillet. It's a bit hot.
-[Britney] Thank you so much.

When I ask God sometimes,
like, "Yo, are you sure, God?"

"Is she not going to run out on me?"

"Tomorrow, is she not
going to wake up like,

'I'm a boss bitch, like, peace out.'"

I think you're equating my career
with how I am as a partner.

I'm just a human being.

You are an amazing woman.

You're everything I've wanted,
everything that I've needed.

And I just want us to recognize
who we were and what we are

for a very long period of time.

Before distractions came into play.

I love you.

[sniffles]

[AJ] You are literally
exactly what I prayed for.

So, like…

living in a world without you is scary.

♪ Baby, there's no way out ♪

♪ So I keep holding on ♪

♪ Think I need a remedy ♪

♪ It's taking too much out of me ♪

♪ There's something missing
in my alchemy ♪

♪ It's bearing every load
To fix me ♪

[Mel] So what do we have to do today?

We have a delivery between 10 to 11.

I do need to figure out
what I'm wearing to this cocktail party

because I have absolutely no idea.

I'm not going.

[Marie laughs]
That's not funny. You have to go.

[Mel] I had texted Dayna.

Dayna then called me and basically
just said that she was uncomfortable.

My response was, "Is that how you feel?
Like, is that you saying this?"

Because at the end of the day,
I know Magan's a centimeter away from her.

This wasn't like a Dayna-Mel conversation.

So I was like, "Okay."

"If I make you both feel
that uncomfortable, I'll fall back."

I don't need to insert myself,
be involved with anything

that makes anybody uncomfortable.

♪ Baby, fix me ♪

♪ Fix me ♪

[Dayna] I'm stressed about talking to Mel.

I feel like she's going to give me
a fucking attitude. [laughs]

[Magan] Are you afraid of the attitude
or are you afraid of something else?

The attitude.

-Because she feels abandoned and betrayed.
-Okay.

I think everybody kind of feels like that
from their trial partners.

Someone was there for you 24/7.

You were their priority, now you're not.

[Magan] And I think Haley
probably feels that way too.

But they're also reaching out to us.

But now you're with me.

I get it, but, like,
I feel like she should have known.

I get it too, but it also doesn't change
that you feel how you feel.

-You know?
-Yeah.

♪ Something is wrong and I know it ♪

♪ Can't trust my mind 'cause it's broken ♪

What are your pros and cons
of talking to… Megg-an?

-[laughing]
-That's how it's said, right? [laughs]

That's specifically not how it's said.

-"May-gan."
-[both laughing]

Did you decide
if you were going to talk to her or not?

No.

-Last minute, game-day decision?
-Last minute, game-day decision.

♪ Still a thin fading light ♪

♪ So hold on tight
'Cause we're chasing time ♪

Cute. So vibey.

This is cute. Hi, guys.

Hi.

-What's up? Hi, everyone.
-Okay, funeral chic.

Hi.

-Hi, how are you?
-Hey, how are you?

-How have you been?
-Good.

-Good?
-Yeah.

-[Magan] Hey.
-Hey.

-What's up, girl? Hey.
-[Pilar] What's up?

It's the first time we've seen each other
as our initial couples we came in with.

-Yeah!
-It's true.

It's weird, right?

-Yeah.
-It's so weird.

Has wifey made you oxtail yet?

-I did.
-[AJ] She sure did.

You okay? If there's any moment
you want to, like, leave

or you're not okay, just tell me. Okay?

I'm just feeling a little bit awkward.

[chuckles awkwardly]

There's a little bit of awkwardness.

Do you want to just get it over with?

Not right now.
I'll give it a couple minutes.

Okay, now. No… [laughs]

I miss your cooking.

Aw.

[Bridget] How are you guys doing?

[Ashley] I'm kind of stressed out,
to be honest.

[Bridget] Yeah, what's going on?

[Ashley] It's just been a lot.

We kept going on dates, we'd have fun,

but then it turned
into literally fighting.

-And we…
-[Bridget] It's like highs and lows.

[Ashley] Yeah. I feel like I'm reversing,

like, giving the Ultimatum,
which is weird.

Because, like, I feel like
I was just so sure and, like…

[Bridget] I did such a good job
of convincing you not to.

-[Ashley] You were like, "Don't do it."
-[both laughing]

Yeah, I was with you
who was issued the Ultimatum.

[Bridget] Yeah, and you were like,
"I see your point."

[Mel] Hi, Dayna.

-Hi.
-How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

I feel like you're being
so weird towards me.

I'm not being any type of way.

Okay. Well, I guess I'm just wondering
how you feel towards me now.

[Mel] I got an impression of you
as somebody who was very similar to me.

You helped me learn so much about myself.

And I tell everybody this.

I was like, "Yes, we grew together. Yes,"
don't get me wrong.

But I think both of us just grew…

Individually.

Yes, and supported each other
throughout that whole thing.

And so with that, I finally met someone
who makes me feel less fucking crazy.

More than my partner, who has made me feel
fucking insane for four fucking years.

So, like, what are we doing?

Okay. I think we talked about
before we separated

that we knew
we would feel abandoned by each other.

When you and I left off, it was,

"No matter what, Mel,
we're gonna still be friends after this."

And those were your words.

Okay, but you have to remember,
there's the tattoos.

Like, also, on top of the tattoos,

Magan said that we had a conversation
months before coming here

that if we made it out of here together,
we'd get a matching tattoo.

-Well, you didn't tell me that.
-I didn't remember it.

You weren't supposed to be involved
in these three weeks.

You were supposed
to be dealing with Marie.

I was supposed to be dealing with Magan.

We can deal with our shit
when we have the time,

'cause we may not
end up with these people.

What do you want out of this conversation?

I want you to be you right now.

You're treating me right now how
you treat them, them, them, them, them.

Don't talk to me like that.

I'm telling you how I feel.

Well, you don't have any patience.

-Let's just start there.
-[laughs] Yeah.

I'm so sorry if this relationship
isn't worth the patience,

then you can just say that now.

We can close the door.

I'm just not going for this act.

So, like, I'm going to give you
a second to drop it.

If you don't want to,
I can go hang out over there.

'Cause I'm not going to bullshit
with you right now.

I know you ride for me,
but I know you also ride for Magan.

You know what I mean?
It's just… It's hard to…

I'm not going to turn my back on you.

I'm so, so, so sorry that
I can't be there for you right now.

I don't need you here right now.
That's not what I need.

I just need to know, what are we doing?
Why are we even trying?

What we had was very special.
You're always gonna be part of me.

That's exactly why
we got these fucking tattoos.

You were there for me.
I told you every single thing about me.

You know all of my secrets.

And I'm so grateful
that you were vulnerable with me,

and I never want you to treat me
like this again.

I never want to see this behavior.
You know what I mean?

Yes, Mom.

[laughs] Like,
do you know what I mean? Shut up.

[woman] I'm ready.
I'm empowered. I'm ready.

[woman 2] Yeah!

[Magan] Hey, Haley.

Do you want to talk for a little bit?

[Haley] Not really, but we can.

Okay. I feel like I want to talk
about certain things with you.

-If you're okay with that.
-Yeah. That's fine.

You okay?

So, I feel like when you and I
ended our trial marriage,

because of, like, how far we went,
Dayna was in a very hurt place.

I wanted to maximize my time with her,
and make sure that she was my priority.

It felt so jarring for you to cold turkey
be like, "Don't talk to me."

Just such different energy.

I ran into you at the club,
and I didn't say hi to you.

And I hope you understood
where I was coming from,

but I also wanted
to set the boundary with you.

I want you to respect my trial marriage,
you know?

For you to not even look at me,

-and I know you knew I was there.
-I knew… I know…

And it was like…
to not even look in my direction?

You treated me the exact same way
that you said Dayna was treating you

during the first trial marriage.

I've known Dayna for years
before this experience.

I need to give it a chance,

even if Dayna and I are not
to walk out of here together,

or if we are,
I need to give myself a full chance

and at least say,
"Hey, I tried my hardest."

And I'm so sorry I hurt your feelings.

Like, it hurt me not to say hi to you,

but, like, it was a choice I had to make.

It was either Haley or Dayna.

And I chose Dayna.

How much Dayna not prioritizing you
and not acknowledging you in public,

that was the thing that hurt you the most.

I would never do that.

You were like,
"I would never do that to you."

All of your actions
don't meet up with your words.

-You spent three weeks…
-Haley.

…making me feel like it was real,
and for me it was real.

-She told me she was in love with Haley.
-[Mel] Mm.

Literally, blatantly like that.

I told her, "I have feelings for Mel."

We had a sexual relationship,
we had all these things.

Bro, it's bad.
It's like for real, for real shit.

Do you trust Haley?

Hell no.

I think Pilar and Haley came here
to leave each other.

Absolutely. They came here
for a reason out, especially her.

And that's what they both tried to do.

-Magan knows she got manipulated.
-[Mel] Damn.

[Mel sighs]

[Magan] I'm not trying to convince you
of who my character is.

You know who I am.

I don't know who you are.
That's the thing. I don't. I really don't.

I really feel like I got to know

a completely different person
than I saw afterwards.

[Magan] If I had validated what we had,

I feel like it would have affected
both of our trial marriages.

That's the hardest part, is that
I have been so honest with Pilar and like…

having to tell her,
yeah, I fell in love with you, Magan.

I just, like,

have not been so open
with someone like that ever.

And, like, that heartbreak of realizing
that I don't think I knew who you were…

Because the person
I got to know in those three weeks

could never have done
all these things to me.

I had a very authentic
three weeks with you,

and… I don't regret anything.

I made certain promises
that I shouldn't have made,

because I was under the impression
there was a point of no return with Dayna,

and I love you for everything
that we've gone through…

but I'm not in love with you.

[dramatic pop music playing]

[Haley] I don't know why we would be
holding each other crying,

that, like, this time was ending.

[Magan] Because it was special.

[Haley] We fell in love.

The things that we went through,
it's like the backtrack of the century.

[Magan] Did I say
I was in love with you? I said--

Multiple times.

And when you said it,
you looked me in my eyes,

and you said, "I am now realizing
I am in love with you."

And I said, "I am in love with you" back.

We said it back and forth to each other.

You're making me feel like
I'm freaking crazy, Haley.

You're making me feel like I'm crazy.
Stand on your word.

If that's what you said,
and you said that you meant it, mean it.

How hurt I feel now,

I just wish you'd never said it.

♪ Broken promise ♪

I think we're done.

♪ You left me in the darkness ♪

♪ Hold it all in ♪

♪ I'm not trying my very hardest ♪

♪ You left me in the darkness ♪

♪ Shame on me
I'm done now ♪

♪ Dragging me down 'cause I'm misery-bound
Shut up ♪

[Kyle gasps]

[laughing] Oh no.

[Bridget] It's on fire.

♪ Can't get no better ♪

-It's really smoky in here.
-[both laughing]

♪ So good
Can't get no better ♪

-[man] Have fun, girls!
-[Haley and Pilar] Thank you.

[whooping]

[Pilar] Oh yeah.

-[Haley] Getting a sense of normalcy back.
-That's right.

[whooping]

♪ Universe is everywhere
I feel it in the hard times ♪

♪ I feel it ♪

[Ashley] What kind of ring would you want
if you got married?

[Marita] I would want

an elegant gold ring

with a beautiful diamond.

[Ashley] Like a gold diamond?

The ring is gold, but then
the diamond is a diamond. [laughs]

That was a stupid question.

-[AJ] Hey.
-[Britney] Hey.

-I got a box!
-[AJ] Well, look at that.

[Britney] Hi, Papa.

[AJ] I wanted to do something
really nice for you

to show how much
I really enjoy my time with you.

[Britney] S'more station.

[AJ] Mm.

To be like a reminder
of when we went on our date.

That's so cute.
Oh my gosh, baby. Thank you.

♪ I've been waiting for this moment ♪

[Haley] Do you want to light the candles?

I think we really pulled it together.
I'm proud of us.

[Pilar chuckles]

[knocking on door]

[Haley] Papa!

-[Haley] Hello!
-Hey!

Hey, honey. Oh my gosh. Hi.

-[Pilar] Oh my God…
-Stranger.

-[Pilar] Look at that fresh haircut!
-Oh my God. You like that?

-Hair looks good.
-That is a little different.

-My God.
-[Pilar] Looks great.

Amazing. I'm so happy
you got to come back.

-Yeah, me too.
-Thanks for coming.

[Pilar] I'm so happy
you were able to come.

I was so sad not being able
to see you that first time.

[Dave] That was a bummer.

[Pilar] Like, every day is a year here.

-Yes. Truly.
-So much happens.

[Dave] It's got to be
absolutely fantastic to be back together.

Now, at this point,
I think that it has gotten to the point

that, like, it is so nice
to be back with each other.

I think the first week was so hard.

Pilar and I are pretty open.

-Like… we shared a lot about, like…
-Yeah.

…both of our time
in our first trial marriages.

You know, I was like…
there is just this other experience

that I was not expecting.

I owed it to Pilar.
I owe it to you to, like, be honest

about everything that has happened.

Magan and I did share that, like,
we fell in love with each other.

-Okay.
-[crying] And, um, that was really hard.

Because now,
Magan has completely backtracked.

And, like, that that was never true.

-And…
-[Dave] Oof.

I feel stupid.

I feel like… what was I thinking?

And like, obviously, like,
I love Pilar so much that,

like, I can't believe I did it to her.

First, I'm going to give you a hug.
I love you.

[Dave and Haley both laughing sadly]

Oh.

I just didn't see it going this way.

-I mean, I'm sorry, I just…
-[Haley] Neither did I.

I didn't. I know you didn't either.
That's a little bit of a twist.

It's really hard to be with somebody,
as much as you guys were together

without having some sort of feelings.

And then all of a sudden,
now she's pulling it back

and saying you were totally wrong on that.

-[Haley] Yeah.
-She's a disgenuine person.

[Haley] It just made me feel crazy.

-[Dave] Ah!
-Just, like, completely crazy.

I just feel like
I read a situation completely wrong.

And I just have to answer for that.

That's not the worst thing ever,
that you read a situation wrong.

It's hard to know
that you put your trust in someone

that was so willing
to put our relationship in peril

just to make her ex jealous.

I agree.

I just want to make it clear
that I'm not just here for Haley.

I'm here for you too.

Because I love both of you guys
like you wouldn't even believe.

It's crazy how much I love you guys.

[Pilar crying] For me,

it's just nice to talk to you about it

because I don't have a dad
to talk about it. So…

-You being here and talking to me…
-Yeah.

…has always meant so much to me.
You've meant a lot to me. So…

I know it's hard and it's weird,
but I appreciate you.

Like, I've never had
that unconditional love.

And it's not even from my own family,
and so I'm just incredibly grateful.

I've learned so much about myself
from this experience. To find my voice.

To stick up for myself.

To… be patient.

To be understanding.

And if I walk out alone,
at least I'm whole and I'm proud

and I'm a better person.

And I can't be sad about that.

I haven't been proud of myself
for a very long time.

I'm… [imitates explosion] Like… shit…
It's not what I thought I was coming into.

We don't talk very often
about our feelings.

[Haley laughs]

We both know that, and that's good
for us to be able to do this.

Yeah.

If we make it through this,
we can through anything.

That's what I think. This is
the hardest thing we ever do, right?

[laughing]

♪ Don't let me reach, oh ♪

♪ You know I can't reach some things ♪

♪ But I can't help dreaming ♪

[Magan] I am proud
of what we're building now.

I think what we're building now
is such a strong foundation.

Like, if my parents can understand that,
I think that would be a great start.

I talk about you a lot to my mom,
and usually she'll be like,

"Yeah, you know, one day,
you know, you're going to marry a guy,

like the best guy."

"One day you're going to have kids,"
right?

Today she said everything but the guy.

It's the first time
I've ever heard her say that.

Hm.

My mom doesn't have bad intentions.

Sometimes I feel like on her worst days
she wants to scare people away,

so she'll act out a little bit.

But I'm not willing to tolerate that.

I hope they don't think we're a joke now.

Well, my parents had their problems,
so they are not the ones to judge.

Yeah. It was just a lot easier
when we had such a good relationship.

We were so proud of what we had.

If we were to get engaged,
do you think they'll come to our wedding?

The only way is if they have
a good bond with you and your family.

They don't have to be, like, besties,
but I want them to get to know each other.

I agree. It'll give them
a different perspective.

You never know how a different perspective
can change your mind if you're open to it.

I can tell my parents,
"I want you to respect Dayna."

"I want to bring Dayna around."

And if I feel like they can't do that,
I won't bring you around.

I'm here for you and
I want to protect you in those moments

because you're my family too.

♪ You're the only ♪

♪ You're the only book I've read ♪

♪ You're the only ♪

♪ You're the only book I've read ♪

There's just so many things
out of our relationship

that I'm not getting.

I tried to wrap my brain around
how to make you happy…

and then talking to Britney, it's like,

"Don't forget, like, what you told me
and what you deserve,"

because I do deserve all of that.

It's not fair.

Yeah, I guess you're being robbed of stuff
by being with me.

Unfortunately, yeah,
but I wouldn't be with you for four years

if I didn't think that you… had a heart.

-I know you do.
-Mm-hmm.

I'm trying… to find

what I need, and I want that from you,

but you don't give it to me.

[sniffles]

[sobs]

[Marita exhales]

[sniffles]

[crying]

I don't ever want to make you sad.

[Marita exhales]
I love you, Ashley, but, like…

I don't want to be friends
for fucking ever.

I want a relationship. I want love.

I want romance.

[sobbing]

[Marita inhales shakily]

[crying continues]

♪ Feel the seasons pass by ♪

[Marita sobs]

♪ Like a river run dry ♪

I just don't get it.

I don't get why you can't do
any of that for me.

♪ We were chasing down sunsets ♪

♪ Like they were ours to keep ♪

♪ Broken lens
Sometimes against the light ♪

[Marita sobbing]

♪ I just need a minute ♪

♪ I just need a minute ♪

♪ Hold on tight
This sleepless night ♪

[Marita sniffles]

♪ We'll make it back to the other side ♪

♪ Hold on tight
Hold on tight ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

[Haley] I'm sorry you're so sad.

I don't ever try to make you sad.

And I do love you so much.
Like, I really do.

I needed to stop…

I don't know if it's selfishness or what,

but I should be more considerate
of you and your feelings.

Are you going to kiss me
or just going to stand there?

[Haley laughs]

I love you.

♪ The further I dive ♪

♪ The more I'm alive ♪

[Pilar] What do you think,
over there or over here?

[Haley] That's nice.

[Pilar] How are you doing today?

[Haley] In me seeing the whole situation,

I'm, like, finding myself so grateful for,
like, what we have and what we've built.

It's taken a lot of work
on both of our part

to not, like, fall into old habits of,

you know, me wanting to shut down,
you wanting to run away.

I'm realizing the more
I take myself out of it,

that, like, we're able to come
to such better resolve and understanding

so much faster.

We're human. I don't fault you for that.

Like you said, like,
I kind of want you to experience it.

Is this the experience
you wanted me to have?

It's unfortunately not the experience
I wanted you to have,

but… it is the experience you had.

Do you feel like
you have "grass is greener"?

No, I always thought the grass
was perfectly green right with you.

I feel like of anyone,
if I was an outside perspective

and I was watching us,
I'd be like, "That couple is fucked."

[Pilar scoffs] "Good luck to them."

Why do you say that?

-I don't know, it feels like the messiest.
-Us?

Both of us.

[Haley laughs]

Like, me and the Kyle situation
and then you and Magan.

I'm like, "There's no way
they're leaving this together."

I just feel bad for Dayna.

I do almost feel bad for Dayna.

Sometimes, like, when I was with Magan,
I was like, "Dayna's the problem,"

and now I'm like, "Was Magan the problem?"

I'm at a point
that I am so distrusting of her

that I don't know
that there's anything she could say

that would, like, make me feel better.

So now I just have to decide

if, like, me saying anything to her
would make me feel better.

I think I want her to leave me alone.

Are you going to say that to her?

Yeah.

So where do we go from here?

Where do you think we go from here?

I do feel like
we're in a really good spot.

I feel like we are closer
than we've ever been,

but I wouldn't say it's perfect.

-I'm sorry.
-No, I…

Yeah, I forgive you,

but I feel like I don't want to leave this
and feel that I was a safe second option.

♪ Soft glow on the 405 ♪

♪ Ah, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Boiling over
And I watched you come alive ♪

♪ Every second was a sin
You must've lied ♪

♪ You could still make it all okay ♪

[Mel] I got the sauseege.

Sauseege!

Do you think it's fitting
for our last night

-to make pasta and meatballs?
-[Marie sighs]

It's like we're having our first date
all over again.

[Mel laughs]

I don't want to work anymore.
I want to be a stay-at-home masc.

Yeah? Well, if you're a stay-at-home masc,

then that means you need
to have somebody who works.

[laughing]

-[Marie] Are you hinting at something, or…
-No comment.

I see you smiling. [laughs]

Mm… So how are you feeling
with the Ultimatum Day coming up?

[Marie] I know, like,
I'm the Ultimatum issuer,

so I'm trying to be
very present right now.

[Mel] Mm-hmm.

[Marie] Is this the last time
I'm gonna have Sunday sauce?

Yeah. That was a thought I had as well.

[Marie] Maybe we can cut to the chase.
Can you tell me what you're thinking?

[Mel] Well, that's the thing, honey.

-It switches by the moment.
-Mm.

Love that for me.

I feel like I've learned so much about you
that I didn't know before.

As far as I am concerned,

you need to trust me when I say
I am confident in what I want.

And I know I wasn't like that before,

but wholeheartedly
I very much feel that way now.

If I say something's okay,
you have to believe it's okay.

-You know?
-Yeah.

-[Mel] That's for you, my love.
-That's so elegant.

-[Mel] Yeah.
-Baby.

[Mel] You can tell me how they are.

[Marie] You want me to describe
the balls in my mouth?

[Marie cackling]

No? Not funny?

[Mel] No more wine.

Should we embark on separate paths…

I think that
you should always remember that

you are able to do
literally anything you put your mind to.

Um, I hope you keep
this confidence that you found.

You know, confidence
in who you are and what you want.

And just know that, like, you are

this amazing, caring,
nurturing, like, person.

And don't ever let anyone
take that away from you.

It's like, literally, when you walk
in the room, the room is brighter.

People are just excited to be around you,
happy to know you.

Wanting to be part of something with you.

And I think not many people
can do that in this world.

That's really sweet.

♪ Say you wanna be
You wanna be the love of my life ♪

♪ Say that you're gonna be
You're gonna be the flame in my life ♪

[Magan] Know what I always envisioned?

This is, like, so gay, but whatever.

I always used to watch
Fast and the Furious.

-[Dayna] Mm-hmm.
-How they'd have the, like,

little backyard barbecues.

-[Dayna laughs] Ah, yeah.
-And everybody would come

and they would, like, cheers to family,
but, like, nobody was related.

-It was all chosen family.
-Mm-hmm.

But, like, it was the most family ever.

They, like, did everything for each other.

-And that's how I want my life to be.
-Mm-hmm.

That's what I would want.

[Dayna] Yeah.

I don't know why I'm so nervous.

[Magan] We both did things
that are fucked up.

[Dayna] I get it.
Like, I know I've made mistakes too.

I wouldn't be surprised
if there was things you couldn't get past.

I don't think about it that way.

I think that, like, this is
a very once-in-a-lifetime experience.

And just understanding
how much damage it did to us.

We're obviously both pissed off
we hooked up with our trial partners.

We now know how hurt
we both are from this experience.

And I don't think
that we will ever, like, dabble in that.

It's not like you hooked up
with a random girl on a drunk night.

You formed a whole relationship
of, like, love for someone.

I'm scared I don't have
the capacity to, like, move on from that.

What's also making it hard
is that you're not even like,

"I fucked up, I made a mistake."

You're still saying
you would do everything all over again.

I'm like,
"Why the fuck would I get over it?"

You haven't even, like,
acknowledged that it was wrong.

And how do I think you won't do it again
if you think it was okay?

If you really wanna
spend your life with me,

you wouldn't put me in the position

to have to live with that forever.

You know?
You wouldn't have let it go that far.

I don't know
if it's something I can forgive.

♪ Save me from myself ♪

♪ Let it wash over me ♪

Ah…

♪ Take me to the water ♪

♪ Baptized in the river ♪

♪ Let it wash over me ♪

♪ Heart ♪

♪ Feel the beat of my heart ♪

♪ Feel the beat of my heart ♪

♪ Only you can make it start ♪

♪ At the final beat of my heart ♪

♪ Beat of my heart ♪