All language subtitles for We Are All Trying Here - 1x06 - Episode 6.WEB.NF.en

WE ARE ALL TRYING HERE

I should've fallen in love.

Instead of struggling
to make words come together,

I should've fallen in love.

The words I once forced together

are now pouring out faster
than I can contain them.

It feels like an engine inside me
has just started.

Vroom.

It feels like everything

is working out on its own.

Vroom.

Who knew I had
such a powerful engine inside me?

I should've fallen in love.

Why didn't you tell me you've got a girl?

Hey, I think it's true.

Not long ago, someone threw a rock
through the window at Agit.

Apparently, Eun-a was behind it.

Why would she do that?

Remember when Gyeong-se
posted crap about you in the group chat

and you two were fighting?

Apparently, that's when she did it.

Isn't Eun-a so cool?

Holy shit!

When are you going to get married?

The only girls in my life were those
who dreaded sitting next to me in class

until a woman
as shiny as a blade walked in.

There's nothing I wouldn't do now.

What would you like me to do?

Who should I kill for you?

I really don't understand you.

How could you like a guy
like Hwang Dong-man?

Don't try to understand.
You don't have to.

Why do you keep trying to understand it?

Are you a clarity freak?

When I say I don't understand,
it means I don't like it.

That's what I'm saying.

Why don't you just say you don't like it,
instead of saying you don't understand?

Acting like you're nice.

I'd rather you be honest
and straightforward.

You keep crossing the line.

You crossed it first.

You know people are fragile,
and that a single glance or word

can send them to heaven or hell.

But you still mock me

and sigh at me.

I won't stand for it.

Hey.

As you can see, I've got thick hair.

If you want to grab my hair and fight me,
you'd better be ready to lose a finger.

- Goodbye.
- Thank you.

Did you know?

I even envy the telephone pole

in front of your house

and that smug little "We sell gimbap" sign

hanging from your window bars.

If only I could watch over you all day
like that pole,

or hang from your window all day
like that sign…

WE SELL GIMBAP

I wish I could blow myself up

like the big bang,

so everything around you would be me.

Especially,

that damn gimbap lying on its back

getting gently pressed and rolled
with your hands.

If I could be that gimbap…

Eun-a!

How cozy.

You know, I could spend days imagining
punishing someone or plotting revenge.

I get into the zone and stay up all night.

I even forget to breathe.

But happy imaginations don't last long
before they fall apart.

Why is that?

Is it because I haven't really been happy?

When it falls apart, I get so anxious.

I think I'll stay anxious
until I find success.

Is your brother at home?

He went to Daegwallyeong

to harvest napa cabbage.

Napa cabbage. That's funny.

When there's no welding work,
he does other things.

That's good.

Why are you suddenly asking about him?

My grandmother made some braised kimchi,

so I thought I'd drop some off.

For both of you to enjoy.

Then…

Then…

do you want to eat together?

Do you want to eat together?

DO YOU WANT TO EAT TOGETHER?

Sounds great!

Sounds good.

Careful, it's hot.

Oh, come on!

You said you were harvesting napa cabbage,
and you'd be gone all week!

I said I was going next week.

You've already been drinking?

You could've at least cleaned the place.

Just look at this mess.

Hello.

Releasing steam.

Are those matching watches?

Why are they flashing red?

Jin-man.

Don't just drink. Have some food too.

Show some appreciation
for the person who brought it.

What's your purpose in life?

What about you?

What's your purpose in life?

What kind of person do you want to be?

I'm not talking about being successful.

A lot of successful people are idiots.

"This is the kind of person I want to be."

That kind of purpose.

Just eat. It's okay.

A strong mother.

Yeah, I'm going to become a strong mother.

Not the type of strength
that comes from money or connections.

I want to become a mother
who remains calm in any situation.

The kind who stands steady at the center

so that

her presence puts everyone
around her at ease.

That's the kind of woman I want to be.

Like my grandmother.

What's wrong?

What is it?

What is it?

Name?

Byeon Eun-a.

Eun-a.

Thank you.

DAYS LIKE THIS, DAYS LIKE THAT
POEMS BY HWANG JIN-MAN

TO MS. BYEON EUN-A
I HOPE YOU BECOME A STRONG MOTHER

Thank you.

I'm giving in on everything else!

How much more do I have to compromise?
I won't do it.

- So scrap it?
- Scrap it!

There's no point working with assholes
who boss you around from the start!

Just scrap it!

- Am I really asking for too much?
- Jeez.

I thought things were good
since it was scheduled for streaming.

National Stress Management Department
has been confirmed, right?

It's been confirmed, but…

But what?

They said eight episodes might be too much
for Director Park to write alone,

so they want to bring in another writer.

That was a huge mistake.

They really shouldn't have messed
with his writing.

What is this, a factory?
Two writers don't mean faster writing.

How dare they tell the director
to work with another writer?

They're way out of line.

- Does money give them control over me?
- Yeah, it does.

It's my idea and my screenplay.

If they don't like it,
I can take it somewhere else.

Where, exactly?

Go ahead, see if anyone
will offer you tens of billions of won.

They can't even ask for that
when they're putting up tens of billions?

This is your first series.

Is getting help from someone experienced
really something to lose your temper over?

That's what I'm saying.

Why do they think I need help?

- It's because they think I'm lacking!
- Seriously?

As if you've never… Oh gosh.

Who do they think they are?
I'm the director.

I'm writing the whole thing,
from start to finish!

Only Park Gyeong-se is allowed.

These so-called directors
are all the same.

Every single one of them
is just full of insecurity.

You're all desperate to make it big,

but you have this pathetic idea
that accepting help makes you weak

and ruins your perfect image.

Meanwhile, I'm wondering
how I'll pay the staff this month

or how I'll pay the rent.

I'm desperately looking
for any bit of help I can get.

I'd welcome any help I can get
with open arms.

I'd kill for some help!

Listen carefully.

Gyeong-se.

You're old.

You're outdated.

You've been outdated for a long time.

How many of your films start strong
only to fall apart later?

That's why people say
you only ever lick the watermelon.

Covering the losses
of a two-hour film is one thing,

but there's no way to do that
for a series.

If this fails,
there won't be a next time for you.

So take the help.

Take it while you can.

How could you say that to me?

Do you…

even love me?

Twenty years together,

and you're still using outdated lines,
asking me if I love you.

And you still want to write alone?

Saying I don't love you
doesn't make me feel guilty,

and saying that I do
doesn't benefit me at all, okay?

Think this through.

Byeon Eun-a can revive dead scripts,
and now she's backing Hwang Dong-man.

Either sit there as the director
who flopped with Sister Vengeance

and watch Hwang Dong-man
debut with a bang,

or hurry up and put out something new.

That's it.

I'm sorry. I didn't know Jin-man was home.

I bet it was uncomfortable.

It was nice.

I didn't think I had a purpose in life.

But when he asked me out of the blue,
the answer just came out.

Sometimes when you speak,

it feels like our surroundings
turn into a vacuum.

Earlier, when you were talking about
wanting to be a strong mother,

all of a sudden, it felt like…

the three of us were in space.

And eating in space.

I pictured us eating in space,
and it's funny.

It's not a disaster alert message.

It's from the emotion watch company.

"Participant number 4000,

your update is scheduled for Friday."

What?

Number 4000 out of 4000 people.
You're the last one.

I barely made it in.

I'm number 38.

That's a winning hand.

You got in early.

Successful people are always like this.

They always play it safe.

Really? I think number 4000
feels way luckier.

My life is always on the edge.

It feels like winter is coming.

Not a fan of winter?

I like wind, though.

I like the wind regardless of the season.

Yes?

Hello?

Is that you, Si-on?

It's me,

Mom.

- It was a wrong number.
- I see.

The leaves are all falling here,

but isn't it strange that Gangwon-do
still has fresh green napa cabbage?

It's strange.

Which sounds better,
Byeon Si-on or Byeon Eun-a?

Byeon Eun-a is a hundred times better.

Byeon Si-on is over the top.

Are you changing your name?

Nope.

Byeon Eun-a is way better. I mean it.

A long time ago…

Jin-man said you shouldn't
go over the top with people's names.

So he named my niece "Yeong-sil,"

hoping she'd live an easygoing life.

But her last name is "Hwang."

Hwang Yeong-sil.

She's bound for a tough life.

"Yeong-sil."

That's nice.

How old is your niece now?

Probably…

14 years old,

I think.

Oh, let's go.

It's so cold!

Have a good night.

Right.

Good night.

Here you go.

Don't be so smug.

It's Mom.

Call me.

What's going on?

Why are you already drunk
so early in the evening?

Just getting home now?

Hey, hey, hey!

A perfect ten.

So tell me.

Has it been nice and peaceful here
while I was gone?

I have bad news, though.

The peace ends today.

Okay, okay.

I'll accept your apology.

Hey, what's all this?

Oh, how I've missed the taste of home!

Over the past 20 years,

The Eight Club has split up
and gotten back together countless times.

Hey, sit down. You're being distracting.

After dragging Hwang Dong-man back,
we got back together again.

I don't know how many more times

we'll split apart and reunite, but--

Hey, you punk.

We're here because of you,
but you came last.

Sorry.

Damn it.

Hey, go sit over there.

- Next to Gyeong-se.
- No.

- Go.
- No! Why?

Go. Sit next to him!

- Come on!
- Right now.

You'll notice him less
if he's sitting next to you.

- Come on.
- Hurry up and move! Hurry!

Jeez.

Seriously?

These two punks
need to stay out of each other's sight,

or they'll start snarling again.

Oh my.

It's nice not having to see him.

Jeez, is there a way
I don't have to hear his voice either?

Hey, bring me some super glue

so I can plug his ears.

From now on, sit side by side like this
so you can't see each other. Got it?

Who'd have thought
these two used to be best friends?

We weren't best friends.

You think we were best friends
just because we lived together?

Hey. Ormy and Gasmy.

- Hey!
- Come on!

- Jeez.
- Darn it.

You'd be up all night watching movies,
but hesitate to say which ones.

You'd be up all night watching porn,
then come to school with bloodshot eyes.

Hey, who could be better friends
than Ormy and Gasmy?

You two even share a sacred word
as your nicknames.

Anyway, I dare you to fight again.

If you do, I'll dig up your past again.

Got it, Pyramid and Scheme?

- Hey!
- Come on!

- This takes me back.
- They were locked in a room

because of that pyramid scheme.

- Hey, cut it out!
- Let's toast. Come on, let's toast.

Hey!

- Here's to Ormy and Gasmy's reunion!
- Come on!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

All of you need to write
while you're still young.

When you get old, you can't crap or write.

It's true.

The power it takes to push out crap

is proportional
to the power of creativity.

Back in the day, I thought,

"All right."

"I'll just tear my ass open
and push it out."

If I put my mind to it,
I could force it to come out.

But now, I can't even imagine doing that.

It'll end badly.

It's the same with writing.

Even if I stay up three nights straight,

nothing comes out.

It won't come out
because you're forcing it.

You need to start your engine.

Then it'll come out on its own.

It'll come out while you're sleeping,

or while you're taking a crap.

It'll just pour out nonstop.

We all have an engine inside us.

So how exactly

do you start that engine?

That's the thing. I have no idea.

It just started.

I didn't even know I had one.

He's saying you need to be in love.

No, that's not it. It's something else.

Everyone's got it.

Beethoven had it,

and I have it too.

I read a biography on Beethoven as a kid,
and there was something I didn't get.

While he was composing,

he asked his servant
to bring him some warm milk.

But as he was about to drink it,
he found it was cold.

He was furious and asked,

"I asked for warm milk,
so why is it cold?"

But it turns out,

the servant brought him warm milk,

but he was so focused on composing

that he didn't notice
the milk had gone cold.

That made me wonder,

"How could you not notice something
right next to you?"

But guess what?

I was writing like crazy yesterday
and thought,

"I should get some coffee."

So I got up, but then…

it was already brewed.

And it was cold.

I forgot I had brewed it.

I felt a sense of pride,
like I was on the same level

as Beethoven.

You forgot because it was coffee.

You wouldn't have
if it had been instant noodles.

Goddamn it.

Are you trying to ruin the mood, sir?

You know why we started
hating each other so much?

You could say
it's like hating your own kind.

Both of us

are frivolous.

We're too shallow and can't dive deep.

That's why our writing is full of seaweed,

and not a single abalone or conch.

But now, I'm able to dive deep.

I can even get abalone,

which means we're no longer the same kind.

Bye.

Have some watermelon,

instead of always licking the surface.

You've got to taste the sweetness.

Brace for impact.

Brace for impact.

Just watch.

I'm about to blow up.

It was a good read.

There are so many good lines
you can't help but stop and take them in.

Read it, pick ten expressions you like,
and keep them in mind.

Then at some point,

the right words will come out
at the right time.

Then people will look at you differently.

Did you finish the book
I gave you last time?

Stop looking at your phone.

Another person came forward.

They claim to be
your biological daughter's classmate.

There's even a photo
from when she was young.

THAT SLOPPY GIMBAP
SHE CLEARLY MADE HERSELF…

I STILL THINK ABOUT THAT SAD GIMBAP
AND HOW SHE FORCED IT DOWN

I don't think
we can stay silent any longer.

We should do an exclusive interview
and get an article out today.

Reporter Yeom's on standby
and said to call anytime.

After you return from today's event,
the office will be ready for an interview.

Forget it.

I'll tell them myself.

On live TV, in front of the whole country.

But doing nothing until the award ceremony
won't sit well with the public.

People with nothing better to do

get their entertainment
from watching celebrities crash and burn.

Let them enjoy it for a few more days.

- Thank you for today.
- All right, bye.

Mr. Hwang.

Would you like to grab a bite?

I have to go home and make revisions.

Even an all-nighter won't cut it

if I want to start casting next week.

I finally get to show my screenplay
to actors.

Mr. Hwang, promise you'll invite me
to the premiere.

Bring both your parents.

I'll seat you right in the center,
right next to the cast.

Thank you.

- Let's go.
- Okay.

Mr. Hwang.

You've got this.

You've got this, Myeong-hun!

- See you.
- Goodbye.

Hey.

Days like this are worth living

If you've gone far away

It would be a good day to come back

Jin-man…

CATERING COMPANY OWNER

I'm sorry.

Something came up at home,
so I can't come to work today.

Where are you going?

Where else? I'm going to work.

- Are they here?
- Yes, sir.

Oh Jeong-hui deserves

whatever shit I want to give her.

That's where she stands.

She can't say a word,
no matter what I say. Why?

She tarnished a blockbuster movie
when her family scandal broke out

and halted post-production
on another finished movie.

But did you know

that Oh Jeong-hui gave me shit instead?

She called first thing this morning

bitching about how I gave her daughter
a crappy screenplay like this.

This is exactly why

I told you not to give screenplays
directly to the actor.

How the hell can the CEO not know
which actor got the screenplay?

I'm sorry, sir.

Get ready to be chewed out by an actor.

It's Jang Mi-ran!

- It's Jang Mi-ran!
- Jang Mi-ran?

- Wow.
- It's Jang Mi-ran.

Right now, this feels like a dream

You and me, dancing together

The feeling is so incredible
It's like art

- Jang Mi-ran!
- Jang Mi-ran!

- Jang Mi-ran!
- Jang Mi-ran!

This way please, Mi-ran.

You're so pretty!

She's seriously pretty.

- Hello.
- Gosh, it's hot.

Can you believe it?

Only 310,000 people watched the movie
I worked my ass off for,

but a video of me half-ass singing
at a wedding got five million views.

Maybe I should quit acting.

Who's this?

This is Producer Byeon Eun-a
from Choi Film.

She's working with me.

Nice to meet you.

With a face like that,
you should be an actor, not a producer.

Never mind. Don't be an actor.

When I was a sophomore in high school,

I went through hell
because I couldn't eat or sleep.

I went to a bunch of hospitals, but no one
could figure out what was wrong.

Then my grandma went to a shaman,
who told her I was chosen by spirits

and destined to be a shaman.

They say a shaman's fate
and an actor's fate are similar,

so I had to become an actor
if I didn't want to become a shaman.

I should've just become a shaman.

Acting is more exhausting.

At least shamans don't saw off their arms.

I saw off my arm once,
and now every role is the same.

They hack away with an ax
or a pair of scissors.

Director Lee Jun-hwan,

I liked you because you looked polished.

So how is it that your writing
is so crappy?

A SCARY WOMAN

You can't use actors like this, all right?

Directors need to reflect on this.

It doesn't matter
if you saw off an arm or a leg.

Do you know the biggest flaw
in the characters you've been playing?

It's that they know
how to use their heads.

But you don't know how to use yours.

Every time I watch you in a movie

and see you act sophisticated,
I lose it because it doesn't suit you.

Why does someone
with such raw, natural appeal in real life

start to use her head
the second she's on camera?

We want a larger-than-life Jang Mi-ran
who can make us burst out laughing.

We don't want to watch someone
who's just like us,

struggling to use their head.

A SCARY WOMAN

This character doesn't use her head,

so she doesn't think things through

or make calculations.

She's someone…

who's driven purely by her heart.

That's what makes her scary.

Isn't this the first role
that fits you perfectly?

Hey.

That bitch is Ax, right?

The one who got screwed
for running her mouth?

Put that crazy bitch on the phone.

Just put her on!

Yes?

Hey.

Answer my calls from now on.

The second you start kissing my ass,
you're done.

What did she say?

I think she'll do it.

Excuse me.

Please answer Ms. Oh Jeong-hui's call.

I really hope

you answer her call today.

Please.

HANKUK UNIVERSITY GRADUATE SCHOOL
KOREAN LITERATURE, HWANG JIN-MAN

BIRTH REGISTRATION
NAME: HWANG YEONG-SIL

NATIONAL CENTER
FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE CHILD

I'm sorry.

We're legally prohibited
from disclosing information

about adoptive parents.

At this point,

your only option is to wait for your niece
to look for her biological parents.

How could she have been adopted
without her father's knowledge?

Even if they were divorced,

how can you do that
without the father's consent?

Records show that the father's whereabouts
were unknown at the time,

so the mother's consent alone
was sufficient.

Can I get her address?

Can't you at least tell me that?

It's too harsh not to know

where your child lives.

I'm not even hoping for success.

I just

don't want to be miserable.

What is it?

Did your engine die?

Is it better that we all succeed together,

or that we all go down together?

It's easier if we all go down together.

Going down isn't so bad.

As long as we're together.

It's funny, you know.

When I'm deep in my feelings…

I don't hate you.

I don't hate you when I'm really happy.

And I don't hate you

when I feel really sad.

FIVE HUNDRED WON

Yes?

Is that you, Si-on?

This is Eun-a.

Byeon Eun-a.

Why did you change your name?

I didn't know your father had died.

Don't worry anymore. You've got me now.

Now you can do

whatever you want.

If you want,

you can start studying again.

You can even study abroad.

Tell me if there's anywhere
you want to go.

I'll make it happen.

Why?

Are you still ashamed of me?

Do you want me to disappear
somewhere far away?

Or are you

trying to save yourself

by taking back the daughter you abandoned?

I never abandoned you.

It was your father I left.

If I had known he died,
I would've come for you right away.

Because you're no longer
Byeon Jae-su's daughter,

but Oh Jeong-hui's daughter.

I know that you're desperate,

but I have my own memories,
and you have yours.

Don't pretend you're a caring mother.

A nine-year-old kid wanted to hide

the fact that she'd been abandoned,

so she made her own gimbap
for the field trip.

I didn't want anyone to know
that the poor kid was me,

so I even changed my name
and lived a quiet life.

What I'm saying is

don't let anyone find out
that the poor kid Oh Jeong-hui abandoned

is actually me.

I won't let anyone find out either.

We're here, ma'am.

46TH KOREAN FILM AWARDS

Go ahead and leave!

All you've done is leech off my name!

Byeon Si-on.

Byeon Si-on!

The 46th Korean Film Awards
Best Actress Award goes to…

MY MOTHER, OH JEONG-HUI
AUTUMN SCENES, KANG JI-EUN

Oh Jeong-hui from My Mother.

Congratulations!

BEST ACTRESS AWARD
MY MOTHER, OH JEONG-HUI

Thank you.

They say actors are happy to be on stage,
even if they're just a tree.

I would've been happy just being a tree,

so I find it amazing
that I've gotten this far.

At the same time, another part of me
feels it was inevitable,

as if I've been walking a path
that was already decided.

I'm feeling both emotions so distinctly,

like my heart is split in two.

"This is amazing. How did I get this far?"

"But wasn't it inevitable?"

I also feel joy and fear at the same time.

The joy of achievement.

And the fear that this crown was gained
at the expense of others.

It feels like this came
at the expense of the crew's hard work.

And it feels like…

this came at the expense of the happiness

of my young daughter,
whom I couldn't be there for.

That guilt

led to my regret
over not being able to love Mi-ran

as fully as I wanted.

I approached My Mother

in the hopes of bringing comfort
to mothers like me who carry many regrets,

and to the daughters

who have had to endure imperfect mothers.

I dedicate this great award

to mothers and daughters everywhere

who have gone through difficult times

and who have continued on despite them.

Are you okay?

Let me help you get down. Slowly.

If you could erase your childhood memories

to escape from this pain,

would you do it?

No.

Without this pain, that woman…

would be completely innocent.

I've never gotten an "unknown."

You might not have seen it,

but it showed up twice.

It first appeared on October 29th.

I don't remember it at all.

When "unknown" appears,

one or two minutes
of the situation are recorded

because participants
might not recall the situation.

Would you like to listen to it?

RECORDING

Jin-man.

What are you doing?

Weren't you drinking?

Come down.

It's okay. Come down.

You need to eat something.

I'll make kimchi fried rice, so come down.

And it appeared again recently.

Let's listen to it.

RECORDING

I'm sorry.

What kind of emotion do you think this is?

I'm not sure.

What should I call this?

There's someone else who keeps showing
the same emotion pattern.

Please send me the data for number 38.

I'm number 38.

That's a winning hand.

Let's see, number 38…

This person has trauma
from being abandoned as a child,

so when they encounter similar situations,
they feel this emotion.

They experience it often.

About once or twice a month?

This person

described the feeling
as "self-destructive."

"Self-destructive."

What about you?

How would you describe it?

What kind of emotion would you call this?

Does "self-destructive" feel right?

It's a little different
from typical "anger" or "frustration"

because there's about 7%
of some kind of desperation mixed in.

I can see this is getting hard for you.

Should we continue later?

You can tell me about it later.

"Help me."

It's a cry for help.

The 7% of desperation…

is "help me."

Help me.

Words…

I've never spoken in my life.

Help me.

Do you remember when I said someone else
shared the same pattern as you?

Number 4000.

"Participant number 4000."

What?

Number 4000 out of 4000 people.

You're the last one.

They showed the same pattern as you again.

It's the same pattern that you exhibit
when you get nosebleeds,

and this is how they described
the emotion.

"Help me."

They said

it was like a desperate cry for help.

Do you agree?

Why does…

Why does that person feel that way?

I'll help you.

We're already helping each other

a lot.

We're in sync.

In sync.

Let's…

find Yeong-sil.

What kind of weather
should I make for you?

Tell me what kind of weather
you like, Eun-a,

and I'll make it for you.

I like

any kind of wind.

A happy imagination…

complete.

WE ARE ALL TRYING HERE

You know exactly where I'm stuck

and where I need to focus emotionally
so I can really take off.

Is it okay to use "Yeong-sil"

as my pseudonym?

I told you I'm not co-writing,
so why'd you set up an appointment?

You're the funniest director
I've ever met.

No one our age has this kind of stamina.

- I never knew work could be so much fun.
- Who likes who exactly?

Whenever I feel like I'm being abandoned,

my whole body aches, and I get nosebleeds.

The first person who wrote me off.

My mom.

Subtitle translation by: Jenny Kim