All language subtitles for After Youve Gone.s01e07.Out of Africa

# After you've gone

# And left me crying

# After you've gone

# There's no denying

# Someday when you feel lonely

# Your heart will break like mine

# For you, for me only

# After you've gone

# After you've gone away. #

- Great, done to perfection.

- I don't know how you could have made
such a mess of it,

something a caveman could do, putting
meat near fire.

- I'm home!
- Hi, Molly, how was work?

- Disgusting, degrading, humiliating.

- But on the bright side, you're in
time for dad's chicken Chernobyl.

- It's all right. I'm never gonna eat
again.

- Oh, what is that smell?
- It's me.

- Well, come on, Molly, sit...

God, it IS you, isn't it?

Perhaps you should have a shower.
- Yeah, I am planning to.

- Although when you're covered in that
much oil, you should really be
scrubbed down by conservationists.

- I think I'm developing a phobia of
hard work.

- Then just jack it in. There's no
point doing a job you hate.

- "Jack it in"? This isn't The Boys
From The Black Stuff.

- Diana, she hates the job.

She's miserable, she smells.

- Thanks, Dad.
- You're missing an opportunity to
teach your

children a valuable lesson.

- What, how to get chip fat out of
manmade fibres?
- Jimmy.

- Your gran and I think it's important
that you stick at it.
- Oh, Dad!

- It's not me, is it? It's her, she...

It's character building.

- DOORBELL RINGS

- I'll go.

- Maybe it's Gordon Ramsey with some
potpourri.

- I can't believe you let Gran push
you around like that.

- I didn't know I had a choice.

- You don't mind, do you?
- Oh, great(!)

Now I smell like stale grease with a
layer of synthetic chemicals.

- Mmm, like a chip shop in an alpine
glade.

- It seems we have a visitor.

Molly, Alex, you know your mother's
friend, Dr Banks.

- Call me Howard. Hey, kids.
- Uncle Howard.

- He said call him Howard, not Uncle
Howard.

- Isn't Anne with you?
- I'm afraid not.

It's just me and a flying visit.

- Dr Banks, this is...
- Jimmy, Jimmy Venables.

- Ah, good to meet you, Jim.

- It's Jimmy. So, you're the famous Dr
Banks.

- I don't do it for the fame, Jim.

- It's still Jimmy.

- I hope you don't mind me popping
around unannounced.

- Aren't you supposed to be in Africa?

- With my ex-wife.
- Certainly am.

Anne sends her love by the way.

- So really you're just a talking
postcard.

- Er, yes, yes, yes, in between saving
lives.

I've heard a lot about your jokes.

- Really? Knock knock.
- Who's there?

- You, for some reason.

What are you doing here?

- I'm in town to sort out more funding
for the relief project

and while I'm here, I promised Anne
I'd check up on you all,

make sure Jim here hasn't burnt the
house down - her words, not mine.

- As you can see, we're all fine.

Obviously the chicken's dead, but
we're fine.

- So how is Africa?

- Ah, Africa.

Mysterious continent of wonder.

Tell you what, why don't I take you
all out for lunch? My treat.

Yahtzee!

- Just give me a minute to shower.

- Actually, I've just made lunch.

- Oh, Jim, sorry, I didn't mean to be
rude.

No, you have your...chicken and I'll
pop back to my hotel.

- Nonsense, it's a lovely offer, Dr
Banks.

We'd be delighted to join you.

- Diana, you don't give up on
something just because it's a little
burnt.

- It's a chicken, Jimmy, not the
English Patient.

- It's just there is food on the table
which I spent a great...

Where are we going?

- Good man. There's a little
Senegalese place I know, I think
you'll love it.

Everyone likes Senegalese, right?

You try telling that to a man with a
clipboard and a gun.

- Can I get you a drink, Dr Banks?

- Oh, Howard, Diana, Howard.
- Howard.

- Just a coffee for me if there's one
going.

- Oh, thanks for lunch, Howard.
- My pleasure.

Can't go back to your mother and tell
her I let you starve, can I?

- You can tell Mum that Dad's
perfectly capable of looking after us.

- Oh dear.

- Its fine, it'll wash out.
- I should have warned you

we'd be eating with our hands.

- I'll never go back to cutlery again.

- I remember eating Senegalese for the
first time, fingers and thumbs, no
need to be embarrassed.

- I'm not embarrassed.
- Really? I would be.

You look like you need a bib.

- Don't worry, old man. Bit of advice
the village head man gave me back in
Kenya a few years ago.

"If you've got a big food stain on the
front of your shirt, what you

want to do is eat more carefully."

- Isn't there a flood you should be
seeing to?

- Most of the flooding's been dealt
with.

- Oh, must have taken a lot of paper
towels.

- The real work is dealing with the
aftermath

and that's where Anne's been so vital.

- Well, she always was a tidy girl.

- Oh, you can all be very proud of
her.

Now, where did I put my bag?

- What a nobber!

- Dad!
- Well!

- I do think you're being a little
rude, James.

- No surprise you like him - he's the
perfect son-in-law candidate.

- My attitude to him is neither here
nor there.

- Like you wouldn't love a handsome
doctor.

- Ah, talking about me?
- No... Yes.

- Presents!

- Duty free! Result!

- Just a few gifts from Anne and me.

Diana...

- Oh, thank you.
- Molly...

Alex...

- Really, you shouldn't have.

..Oh, you didn't, good.

- Sorry, Jim.

- It's all right.
- I wanted

to get you this amazing Rwandan banana
wine,

but then Anne said...about your not
drinking.
- Did she?

Any other personal issues she chose to
share with you?

My fear of spiders? My ingrowing
toenails?

- No, no, just the drink problem.

- I don't have a problem.

- That's right, mate. Keep thinking
positively.

- Excellent, biltong. You can't beat
air-dried meat.

- You've just eaten!

- I'm just sucking it for flavour.

- This is all very generous but I'm
sure you're very busy, lots of lives
to save.

- Perfume, great! Thanks, Howard.

- That should mask the smell of
day-old burgers.

- Let's see what you smell like
tomorrow at school.

That should add weight to some
rumours.

- I'm not sure that's an appropriate
gift for a girl of Molly's age.

- Oh, don't worry, Diana. Anne and I
discussed it and it's fine.

- Oh, you and Anne discussed it, did
you?

Then why didn't she discuss it with
me?

- Because you're not in Africa helping
with the disaster relief effort.

- Well, yes. Well, not all of us can
get time off for...holidays.

- Oh, Anne wanted me to pick up a
photo frame for her.

She said it was in a box under her
bed.

- I'll go.
- No, I'll get it.

- The bedroom's upstairs and...

- I think I remember the way.

- You know when someone's just
perfect?

- I hate him already.

- And he keeps saying things like,
"Oh, you haven't lived until you've

seen the Serengeti at dusk."

Well, I have lived, mate. I have
lived.

- You only have to look at you to know
that.

- I can give that pint to someone else
you know.

- No, you can't.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- And you know what's really annoying,
Howard just breezes in from Africa

and within two minutes, he's made
himself more popular with my kids than
I am.

I don't know, they come over here,
stealing our jobs...

- I wouldn't worry, mate. He won't be
around long anyway.

You know what kids are like, always
after the latest fad.

Howard's just a craze.

- Like a Tamagotchi?

- Yeah, or a Pog.

- A what?
- Exactly.

- So what am I in this scenario?

- You're the tatty old moth-eaten
teddy bear,

lying abandoned in the bottom of the
toy box.

Your one button eye hanging loose by a
single thread...

forgotten.

But always willing to give your love.

Excuse me, I've got something in my
eye.

- There's got to be someone else in
here I can talk to.

- AFRICAN MUSIC PLAYS

- Howard.

- Oh, God, yeah. I heard these guys
play at a wedding in Nairobi.

Funny story actually, I'd only been in
town for two days,

but I met the groom at the airport and
he asked me to be the best man.

- Yeah, you're right, that's a funny
story.
- Sorry, Jim, mate.

Didn't hear you come in there.
- Biltong, Dad?

- What do you think?

Howard, what are you doing here?

- Oh, I had some photos processed
today, thought everyone might like to
have a look.

- Look, Mum in a bikini.

- That's what you make your nurses
wear, is it?

- We managed to get two days away.

- Lovely.
- Away from the living hell

of the disaster area.

- Lovely. Is Diana here?
- Gran's in the kitchen.

- Make yourself at home, Howard.

- Thanks.
- Not that you need telling.

..Who let him in?
- Alex.

- Doesn't he know that if you don't
invite them in, they can't cross the
threshold?

- Who rattled your cage?

- Who do you think? Tarzan.

What's he doing here?

- He's stealing your family.
- What?

- And then he's after your stereo.

It's all very near the surface with
you, isn't it?

Howard's just paying a visit.

You know, being sociable.

- He's got to you too, hasn't he?

- Oh, please! He has photos of my
daughter who I miss.

Is it so odd I would want to see them?

- Don't give him a drink. He'll never
leave!

At least I haven't got a hairy back.

- Central Africa's now producing some
perfectly quaffable wine,

You just have to know what to ask for.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Oh, Jim, would you rather we didn't?

- No, it's fine. I've got a bottle of
vodka hidden in the airing cupboard.

- Ah, see you're looking at the
photos.

- Yeah, they're all right.
- Come on, Dad, the photos are great.

Africa looks amazing.
- Oh, Africa,

as beautiful as you are dangerous.

- Have you been to Africa, Howard?

- Yeah, of course.
- Really? Just you never mentioned it.

- I'm home.
- Hi.

- I'm home.
- Yeah, we know.

- You know when I said I needed
financial independence?

- Yeah.
- I was an idiot.

Nothing is worth this. There's no
point in having money to be popular

if no-one will come near you because
of the smell of saturated fat.

- At least now you have a proper
excuse for that greasy T-zone problem.

- I'll run you a bath.
- Thanks, Gran.

- Believe me, it's an entirely selfish
act.

- Molly, come on.

I know how you feel but hey, that's
work, it stinks.

- So do I, and Wayne the burger
flipper looks at me funny.

- Just try and stick with it a little
bit longer.

- He only uses one hand to flip the
burgers so God only knows what he's
doing with the other.

- It will get better love, I promise.

- Obviously it isn't my call, but if
your dad says to stick with it, then

who am I to say any different?

- Thank you, Howard, I'm trying to set
an example here.

- You're doing really well.
- That's very gracious of you.

It will get better.

- Come on, it's not as if you smell
great to begin with.

- Alex!

- AFRICAN MUSIC STARTS UP AGAIN

- Now, Howard, staying for dinner?

- Well, if that's all right.
- Of course, yeah, because I'm going
out.

Bye!
- Off to the pub?

- Yeah, I'm gonna get off my head on
carbonated sugary drinks,

maybe even a grapefruit juice.

- Oh, I hear you, mate. I love a good
pub.

There's this great little beach bar I
went to once on the edge of the Indian
Ocean,

owned by a bloke who said he was
Mugabe's cousin.

FRONT DOOR SLAMS

Yeah, well, thanks for all your help.

Well, give my love to The Edge.

OK, bye.

Jim's gone out.
- Oh?

- To the pub.

- He spends so much time in that pub,
I hardly ever seen him.

I must send him a thank you card.

That's a lovely one of Anne.

- She's very photogenic

and I see where she gets it from.
- You're a very charming man, Dr
Banks.

- Thank you.
- That's an observation, not a
compliment.

- I take whatever I can get.
- I bet you do.

So what is it you really want?

- I'm sorry? I don't understand.

- Let me tell you something about my
daughter.

When she was little, if she'd broken
something or did something wrong

or wet the bed,

she'd always have an imaginary friend
to take the flack,

so Bobo the penguin, what's my
daughter trying to tell me now?

- Well, it isn't about bed wetting.

- Then let me guess. The work that you
and Anne are doing is taking much

longer than originally promised

and she wants me to hang on for
another few weeks

so that you two can carry on playing
doctors and nurses.

- Well, we're not exactly playing,
Diana.

We want to set up a clinic over there.

It's early days yet, but we will need
to be there

for the foreseeable future.

- Well, what about the children?

- Look, Anne wants the kids to come
over to Africa with us.

I want what Anne wants.

- You can't just whip them out of
school and their exams!

What about their friends?

What about their feelings?

- They can make new friends.

- And what about my feelings?

- Oh, come on, Diana, you'll be off
the hook.

- I like being on the hook.

It might not be comfortable but you
know where you are.

When you're not on the hook, you're
just a worm in a tin.

- It would mean no more Jimmy.

- You're just saying that to make me
feel better.

- Hi, I'm Howard, I wrestle tigers.

My urine is pure Zimbabwean
Chardonnay.

- Jimmy, can you please stop going on
about this Howard bloke?

- Yes, you're right, you're right,
sorry.

It's just the way he breathes, you
know, in, out, in, out, like he owns
the air.

- He sounds like my cousin, real
golden boy.

Straight As at school, first at
Oxford, beautiful wife, top job.

- That's the type, except this one's
got MY beautiful wife.

- EX-wife.
- EX-wife, not that it matters, I've
moved on etc.
- It's so good to hear.

- Well, I'll tell you this - at the
end of the day, my cousin got what was
coming to him.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yes, an OBE for all his charity
work.

- Give us another round, Bobby, would
you? I can't go home yet, George of
the Jungle might be there.

- I'll get these.

- Where does he keep coming from?

- A pint of Best, whatever Jim's
having and... I don't believe we've
been introduced.

- No, he never introduces me to
anyone.

I'm Siobhan.
- Howard, charming.

- Yeah, I am a bit.

- You lucky devil, Jimbo.

- Yeah, that's what I'm always saying,
aren't I?

Jimbo.

- What are you doing here, Howard?

- It might be my imagination, but
every time you say my name, it sounds
like an insult.

- That's just your imagination...
Howard.

- Has he been moaning about me?

- Oh, since he walked in.

- I like her. She's a keeper, Jim.

- You've already got my wife...
- BOTH: Ex-wife.

- All right, ex-wife.

- Well, in fact she's not even your ex
wife, is she, Jim?

She's just Anne.

The only link you have are those two
great kids.

- Please, don't compliment my
children.

- Why not? They are great kids. When
Anne and I come back...

- What? What? You'll stop being Uncle
Howard and start being Daddy Howard?

- I won't insist on being called Daddy
Howard.

- Because it sounds really odd.

- Mainly, yeah.
- Yeah, well, that

was just off the top of my head.

- Look, Jim, please understand, I'm
not trying to take anything away from
you,

not even the beautiful Siobhan here,
although with a smile like that you
could see I'd be tempted.

- He's right. You really are a smooth
old bugger.

- Will you please stop complimenting
people?

I don't do it, I don't see why you
should.

- I think you ought to go.

- Of course. If there's one thing I've
learnt in Africa...

- Oh, God, why won't he leave?

- Jim...I hope we haven't fallen out.

And Siobhan, a pleasure.

- Oh.

- Good night.

- Well...
- Yeah, see?

Told you. Told you he was a git.

- Actually, I was going "well" about
you, Jimmy.

- Me? What have I done?

- I don't know, conducted yourself
with wit, decorum and charm?

Oh no. No, that was Howard.

Acted reasonably? Oh no, Howard again.

- What did he expect, being so bloody
perfect?

- Oh, he is not perfect.

- All right, he is closer to perfect
than I am.

- Yeah, that's most people, Jimmy.

Come on, there is nothing you can
learn from Howard,

apart from the hand kissing thing.

- The drinks your friend ordered.

That'll be £8.

- Howard?

Howard?

You still here, Daktari?

- In here, James.

- Dr Livingstone's naffed off then?

- I'm getting the impression you don't
like him.

- Well, what do you think?

- We need to talk.

- I'll talk about anything you like,
as long as it's not Howard.

- Well, you're out of luck. I'll make
us a coffee.

- Look, he's everywhere, which you
must love.

- I'd have preferred it if Anne had
never met either of you.

- Really?

You're not on Team Howard then?

- Course not.
- But he's everything I'm not.

He's rich, cultured...

- Well dressed, charming, I know.

- I thought you'd be cheering him on.

- Yes, I thought that too, but after
due consideration,

I think I find myself rather
reluctantly on Team Jimmy.

- Really?

- Mmm, in much the same way as one
would support Team Stalin to defeat
Team Hitler.

Not that you're half the man Stalin
was.

Say what you like, he had a lot of get
up and go.

- I think we're drifting off the point
here, Diana.

You don't want Anne to marry Howard?

- No, but I didn't want her to marry
you and look how

much notice she took of that.

Anne really can do as she pleases.

- Yes, of course.

- But I won't let her and Dr Banks

take the children away.

- To Africa?

I knew it!

I knew he was up to something. God,
he's like Madonna in reverse!

But he can't, he can't do this. He
just can't.

- No, but Anne can.

- Diana, I don't know what to do.

- And that's your attitude, is it?

- Well, of course not! I...

I know when I'm outclassed.

- Jimmy, a monkey in a thong could
outclass you.

That's not the point. The point is you
are just as much their parent as Anne
is.

Listen, Jimmy, by some unfortunate
biological process, you are the father
of my grandchildren,

and by some unfortunate process also
we're holding the family together,

despite my daughter.

- It's not Anne's fault.

If I wasn't such a piss-poor husband
and father, this never would have
happened.

- Oh, do stop wallowing and listen.

You were never what I was looking for
in a son in law but...

- But?
- I think you're a good father.

- Oh, that must have hurt.

- Yes, it really did.

Don't get me wrong, you're a failure
in every other avenue of your life,

but if there was a choice between you
and Howard, I would rather take a
loser than a phoney.

- Oh, stop it, Diana, you're making me
blush.

- And if we stick together, we can nip
this nonsense in the bud.

- You really think I'm a good father?

- Yes, I do, but I want to make it
clear

the only reason you've become a good
father is because I've taught you.

- You're right, Diana. I look at you
and I think, "Now that's a man."

I'm Howard, I've kissed a lion.

Look at me, I'm Howard, the clean
man's Bob Geldof.

- Hi, Dad.
- You're early.

Hang on, you don't smell.

- Thanks.

- And you're hair isn't lank and
lifeless.

- I'm sorry, is this some kind of odd
confidence boosting thing?

- Aren't you supposed to be flipping
burgers?

- No, I quit.

- You what?

Why?
- The job was awful, it was making me
depressed, I smelt,

the money was terrible,

and Howard said I can do anything I
want, so why waste my potential in a
dead end job?

- When did you speak to Howard?

- Oh, he just gave me a lift home from
school.

- Hope you don't mind, Jim.

I just picked up a 4x4 for the
charity,

thought I'd give it a test drive.

- The school run much like the plains
of Africa?

- Oh, I don't know about that, but
some of those single mums are real
tigers,

ggrrr!

- Have you got wind?

Why did you say she should quit?

- You were going to let me.
- I didn't mean to overstep the mark.
It was just a piece of advice.

- Dad, do you think I should be
wasting my potential in a dead end
job?

- All right, you listen to me,
elephant man.

It's all very well sauntering in here
with seemingly correct ideas,

but I am Molly's dad and I want her to
keep her awful,

soul destroying job,

even if it does mean this house smells
like Ronald McDonald's toilet.

- OK, sure, you're the daddy.
- Yes!

Yes, I am. Yes, I bloody am, yes.

- Calm down, Dad.
- Yeah, see? Dad. "Calm down, Dad."
Ha! In your face!

- No really, calm down, Dad.

- What's going on here?

- Zulu Dawn here has made Molly quit
her job.

- Well, that's just irresponsible.

- Again, I'm sorry, Jim.

- Jimmy, Jimmy, Jim-my.

Not Jim, not Jimbo, not James.

Jimmy, OK?!
- Uncle Howard, look.

Got it in a charity shop.

- I give up.

- Do you, James? Is that what Stalin
would do?

Private joke.

- All right.

Just listen to me.
- You sound serious, maybe we should
go next door.

- Two man enter, one man leave.

- I'd like everyone to listen to this.

I'm not an idiot, Howard. I realise
that you and Anne are an item and
maybe one day you'll get married.

That's OK. I can live with
that...just.

But you have to realise being a dad is
difficult.

It's more difficult than being a
high-flying surgeon.
- Is it?

- Well, not academically, no.

But it's very easy to come in here and
be the popular one,

give out presents, money, take them
for weird African finger buffets...

My point is it's a doddle being a dad
when it suits you,

because I know. I did it for years.

- Dad...
- Now, come on, we all know it's true.

But I changed.

They changed me.

And my question is, what are you going
to do when it gets difficult?

What are you going to do when one of
them is ill?

- I'm a doctor.

- OK, bad example.

What are you going to do when one of
them comes home from school and
they've been bullied?

- Well, I... I haven't given that a
lot of thought.

- Ah-ha!
- I'd want them to tell

a teacher or someone in authority they
respected,

but I'd realise that social
interaction at school level

is a complex matter,

and I suppose I'd want to be guided by
them on this subject.

- Good answer!

- Have you got an earpiece feeding you
this stuff?

- Any more tests, Jim?

- All right, what would you do if they
didn't want to go and live in Africa?

What?
- Africa?
- Well, I haven't exactly discussed
that with the kids yet, Diana.

- Oh dear! Me and my big mouth.

What, change schools and everything?

- Well, otherwise the commute would be
a bitch.

- But all my friends are here, Wayne's
here.

- Wayne? Wayne the burger flipper?

- Well, now we're not colleagues any
more...

- I think you should discuss this with
Anne.

Sounds like you lot are in the mood to
shoot the messenger.

Which reminds me of this time in
Africa, we'd...

I've got a plane to catch.
- Yes.

Yes, you have.

And you'd better make sure that you're
on it.
- I will.

- Yeah, I know you will.

I was just trying...
- Oh, for goodness sake, let him
leave.

- Bye, kids.

Diana, a pleasure as always.

- You can't get round me like that.
Oh, Howard!

Goodbye, Dr Banks.

- Jimmy.

- Well, we really need to talk to Mum
about her taste in men.

Sorry, Dad.

- Yeah, I mean I knew Howard was
taking the pith.

Pith...

Hey, Molly, pith! Do you get it?

Tough crowd.

- Well, Diana, looks like we really
are a good team after all.

- Well, it's lucky that we are.

It's you and me now, Jimmy.

- Yeah, just you and me.

- Indefinitely.

- Oh, bugger.

- # After you've gone

# And left me crying

# After you've gone

# There's no denying

# Someday when you feel lonely

# Your heart will break like mine

# For you, for me only

# After you've gone

# After you've gone away. #