All language subtitles for After Youve Gone.s01e03.Lock Back in Anger

# After you've gone
And left me crying

# After you've gone
There's no denying

# Someday when you grow lonely

# Your heart will break like mine
and you'll want me only

# After you've gone
After you've gone away. #

Good morning, children!

Are you all ready for school?
Gran, you don't have to come over
every morning to check on us -

we're not babies, you know.
But as long as you're here...
this morning no-one made us brekkie.

Oh, the travails
of the sad little clown!

Didn't your father make you anything
before he went to work?
No, Dad's still here.

Oh! That hideous van of his
isn't outside.

Maybe he parked in the "wrong drive"
again. What's this?

Shut up, Alex.

Well, that certainly quenched
my curiosity.

The other night, Dad parked
outside Mrs Campbell's drive.

And then peered in at the window
while she was in her nightie.

It was late, he was tired,
he said it was an accident.

And I for one believe him.
Oh, this is priceless.

Gran, you have to promise
you won't say anything. Of course!

For now.

This one's worth saving up
for a rainy day.

Well, enough about
the night prowler...

How do you feel about the opera?

The same way you feel
about Pimp My Ride?

Sadly, I haven't got tickets
to Pimp Rider,

though I have been given tickets
to a revival

of Massenet's tragically overlooked
Le Jongleur de Notre-Dame.

And someone gave those away?!

Don't be sarcastic, Alex.
I haven't the patience
and you haven't the wit.

Do you kids want me to drop you
off at school or are you...? Oh.

Diana...I didn't see you there.

Perhaps you should
look in through the window,
you'll get a better view. What?

So what are you kids doing tonight?

School project. I'm exploring
the dark side of the internet.

Do you want to...come along?

No thanks. The less I know,
the less you scare me.

What about you, Molly?
Oh, Ellie's coming over, she's
just had a massive trauma. Oh, dear.

No, really, Ellie's friend's
parent's next-door neighbour's mate

has just had his house burgled
while they were out at a film.

Ellie is so freaked out. Yeah.

Yes, it always hits hardest when
it happens to someone who knows

someone who knows someone you know.

It's not funny, James -
everyone knows someone

who's been burgled lately

and no-one's doing
a damn thing about it.

You're right. Molly, I don't want
you seeing Ellie anymore.
There you go, problem solved.

Joke as you will, but lately there
have been a lot of unsavoury
characters lurking around this area.

Maybe we should set up
a neighbourhood watch.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'd feel so much safer
knowing HE was guarding the streets.

I could wear a cape and a mask.

Are you happy now?

At least he's not a peeping Tom.

I don't believe you told her.

I said it was an accident.

And I wasn't peeping.

When the door didn't open, I simply
tapped on the window a few times.

What with?

Ha ha.

And Mrs Campbell frightened me
more than I frightened her.

She's not exactly a cover girl.

Well...Horse And Hound, maybe.
I'll see you later.

So, what about this opera?

Oh, I'd love to go, Gran,
but I've already made plans.

Funny, I didn't say when it was. Oh.

But it is tonight, so do tell
poor traumatised Ellie to butch up.

Someone stole my van! What?

I parked it there in the drive.

Yes, but whose drive?

Ours! It was right there.

You mean it was stolen,
right outside of our window
while we were asleep?

Oh, I can't wait to tell Ellie,
she is gonna be so jealous!

Yes, thank you, officer,
or you can reach me on the mobile.

OK, thanks, bye-bye.

Well, the police
think it's joyriders.

Joy?

In your van?

And what's wrong with my van?

Nothing...except it's old,
the radio's broken
and it smells of cheese.

That is the smell
of honest men's toil.

And cheese.

There you go, you see,
mice stole your van.

That smelly van happens to be
our livelihood,

and it had all my gear in it -
it had my tools,
my keys, my appointment book.

You left your keys in your van?

No!

I left my keys in my jacket,

which I left in my van.

I didn't think this was gonna happen.

You have the foresight
of an artichoke. You have to
change the locks immediately.

Come on, Diana, at least give them
time to find the damn thing.

And the criminals time to copy
the keys and distribute them?

Distribute them? What, through the
underground criminal key exchange?

All right, that's settled,
I'm ringing a locksmith.

Hello, this is still my house!

Only because Ann's father and I
paid the deposit.

Which we're paying back. Really?

Because that carton of cigarettes
from Calais in 1998
didn't make much of a dent.

That is beneath you, Diana.

Well,

I like to pop down occasionally.

Alex, where's the Yellow Pages?

Look, I'm not going to
spend a fortune replacing locks
if I don't need to. Fine.

I got there first. Obviously not.

If you don't change the locks, I

won't feel safe here. Good, go home.

And what about your children?
Diana, you're making
a big deal out of nothing.

I agree with Dad on this one.

I mean, I lost my house keys weeks
ago and no-one's any the worse.

I just shin up the drainpipe
and in through the window.

You lost your keys weeks ago
and you didn't tell anyone?

I think the fewer people know
about a missing key, the better.

All right, I'll change the lock.

Stolen? With all my tools,
my brushes, my rollers.

And the DVD I left in the back.

Oh, that's right, Kev,
yeah, my entire life,

your copy of Bob The Builder.

Well, it's rented -
you lose it, you own it.

Hey, Jimmy. Oh, you're never
gonna guess what's happened!

You're pregnant and you want me
to make an honest woman out of you.

My van's been stolen.
Thank God, because

I'm just not ready to be a father.

Stolen from right outside the drive.

Oh, are you sure?

It's a van, Siobhan, it's not like
I left it in my other trousers.

Did you talk to your kids
about tonight? Ton...?

Oh, no. What?
No, I was going to, then this whole
van disaster... Where are you going?

Back to work. You just got here.

Look, if you don't want to
introduce me to your kids, fine,

but please will you stop making up
these lame excuses?

It is not an excuse, it's real!

Right, and last week

when you glued yourself to a chair?

OK, that was an excuse,
but this time... Forget it.

You rented Bob The Builder?
Yeah, how Bob became a builder.

Ah, a training film.

Look, me sister's kids
were visiting, all right?

He had a few good tips, though.

Your usual, darling.

Tell me, Bobby,
would you be embarrassed,
introducing me to your kids?

Yes, they're disgusting.

I'm not embarrassed, I'm distracted.
I just want the time to be right.

"I'm distracted,
I just want the time to be right."

Of course their mother thinks
they're perfect. What does she know?

They take after her.

Because if you are
still hung up on your ex,
I'm a big girl, you can just say so.

I'm not hung up on anyone.
Fine, fine, we'll go there tonight.

Really? It's not that important.

It's something we're gonna
have to do at some stage,

so let's get it over with,
like lancing a boil.

Oh, you are such a romantic!

We'll go for dinner, OK?
You, me and the kids.

Oh, no, no, no, nothing too formal.

No, just drop in, say, "Hi! Bye!"
so no-one feels pressured.

Except me. Exactly.

Oh, Christ, I've got to get back.

I've left Mrs Clyde under the drier,
she'll be crisping up by now.

Put that on my tab, Bobby. Er...

What I said about my kids...

It must go no further.

They react badly to criticism.

And I'll meet you after work?

Yeah, you got it. Bye-bye.

Oh, God, what am I doing?

It's all right, man, you just
panicked. I'm not a bad person.

I just want everyone to be happy.
Wanna give me a pay rise?

Not that happy. So what's the problem

with Siobhan meeting the kids?

Oh, nothing, it's just
everything's fine the way it is,

except for the van, and Diana,
and being in debt,

and having to hide
from the neighbours

cos they think I'm a pervert.

Well, you can't ask
for more than fine.

DOOR CLOSES

I see you still haven't changed
the locks to our house.

I'm working on it,
and it's not OUR house - it's mine.

You say potato and I say...pthhhrt.

If you don't have
anything helpful to say...

But then you never do.

Oh, this is crap.

It's a poor workman
that blames his tools.

I'm not blaming my tools, because
my tools are off joyriding in my van.

Now, I don't tell you how to
do your job, marking homework

and frightening small children.

Please, don't tell me how to do mine.

Ah... The instructions,
I assume you've read them.

I don't need the instructions.

Have you been puffing
on a crack pipe?

Here we go.

"Please to be lock acquiring
and screw additional
churning action twist."

Where did you get this,
Bulgarian eBay?

It's a quality lock,
I got it from a friend in the trade.

The rag and bone trade?

As good as anything
you'll get in the shops,

because I am not gonna pay an 80 quid
call-out fee to some poncy locksmith.

Ah... Now all I've got to do
is get that spring further...

I think you've just
won a cuddly toy.

So then, when all seems lost, and
she's practically in tears by now,

she says, "Can you fix it?"
Do you know what Bob says?

That'll be £2.50.

No, he says, "Yes, I can."

I mean, the unbridled optimism
of the man -

well, not man, cartoon character,
but the message is the same.
Excuse me.

You know, Kev, all those stories

about jolly publicans

who love listening
to their customers - they're lies.

Ah, but they don't have to be.

You see, that's what the builder's
trying to tell us.

Kev, I want my money back.
Why - what's wrong with it?

What's right with it?

Where did you get this,
your friend Shifty Mike?

He can't help what his mother
named him, Jimmy.

Have the police called back
about your van?

I wouldn't know, I've left
the phone charger on the seat.

Don't you have a spare? Oh, yeah,

which I bought from Reliable Kev.

Yeah, but at a good price.

Do you mind if I let the police
know I'm here on this number?

I wouldn't worry so much -
I'm sure they'll find it.

Ah, it looks like someone's
positive attitude's catching.

You can't do that. Yes, I can.

Bobby, can I borrow 30 quid or so
for a lock before the shops shut?

No, you wait here, I'll get you
a replacement, brand-new.

Yeah, right. Hey... Can I fix it?

Say it and die.

Alex, Molly, if you want to

eat first, we have to leave now.

I can't find my mobile!

There, all done, your new keys.

Thank you. Don't you want to
test it? Better safe than sorry.

I prefer "Live fast, die young,"

so if you'll excuse me...

Gran, do my socks have to match?

What do you think?
That's why I'm asking.

You know, I do a bit of home security

on the side, so if you ever need

a new alarm system, I've fitted
quite a few for your neighbours.

You sound busy,
I don't want to hold you up.

Actually, Mrs Campbell up the road
had a peeping Tom, do you know her?

I believe my son-in-law
sees more of her than I do.

Thank you, goodnight!

Don't you look lovely!

But inside I'm shrivelled up
in pain.

One night at the opera's
not going to kill you. It could do.

At least you'll die
culturally enriched.

Here's your key to the new lock.

And how's Dad gonna get in?

No, I suppose we'll have to
leave his key under the mat.

Or I could stay at home
and give it to him.

Or you could call him on his mobile
from the car. Good try, though.

Alex, forget the damn socks.

I'm really gonna hate this, Gran.

How do you know
if you haven't tried it?

I haven't tried dog food either.

It's not going to be awful.
Do you even know what it's about?

Yeah, a bunch of chubbies shrieking
for three hours and then dying.

Actually, it's rather jolly.

It's the story of a simple juggler
who joins a medieval monastery

then shows his devotion to God by
playing on his beloved hurdy-gurdy.

You've got to be kidding.

Alex, you're never gonna guess
what this thing's about.

I know, I looked it up.

Monks, juggling and hurdy-gurdy,

what's not to love?

Monks, juggling and hurdy-gurdy.

And don't forget
the audience singalong.

There's no audience singalong.
There could be.

Remember the days when

we didn't have to lock everything up?

Cos we had nothing to steal. Yeah...

Good times.

Your problems are solved.
What took you so long?

Well, first I discovered
that me shoelace was broken.
You know what it's like.

Do you go home, or do you run the
risk? Kev, just give me the lock.

Oh, there you go.

Brand new, well, almost.
Are you sure this one works?

It should do,
it's off me mum's front door.

It's what!? You said
you needed a replacement, now.

She's got nothing worth robbing
anyway. I checked.

Drive me home and put that back on.

I can't believe you took
your mum's lock.

It's all right, she doesn't need it.

She's on holiday.

Oh, good. Found you. Why aren't you
answering your phone? Long story.

I wanted to show you my outfit
while I still have time to change.

Change? I thought this was
going to be a casual, "Hi! Bye!"

I still want to make
a good impression.

PHONE RINGS

Jimmy, it's for you.

So what do you think?

Um, aren't you going to be...

cold in that?

It's too much, isn't it?
It's fantastic. It's gorgeous.

You hate it. No, no, no.

No, it's just when you said you
wanted to meet them in the flesh I...

Jimmy. Phone. I knew it.

It's just first impressions
are everything.

I think you look outstanding.
Oh, really? Oh yeah!

I won't be able to walk straight

for a week.

I'm going to go and change.

Siobahan, they have found the van.

Is my DVD safe?

It's too early to tell.

Now come on, the car pound is open

for another 42 minutes, so can
you drive me down there and get it?

I'll be right back.
Where are you going? To change.

No, no. The car pound shuts in
41 minutes. I'll be done in five.

It takes you that long
to find your handbag.

Look, Siobhan, you look great. The
kids are going to love you. Really?

Yes. Diana may not survive,
but hey, a small sacrifice.

So how do I look? Like you did

when you asked two seconds ago. Fine.

We don't have to do this at all.
I mean, it was your idea. My...!

Right.

Bloody key doesn't fit. Oh, ha ha ha.

No, I'm not joking!

Look, if this is another one of
your excuses... It's not an excuse.

Diana's changed the locks.

This is not funny, Diana!

This is my house,
you scheming old trout.

She's locked me out of my own home.

Oh, right. This is the oldest trick
in the book. Book!

And what book would that be, Siobhan?

What book says,
"Change all your plans.

"Invite your girlfriend
home to meet your family,

"and then pretend to get locked out
as a joke." Where do I buy that?
It must be a best-seller.

OK, so there's no book.

Molly! Alex! Look, there's no-one

here. Let's just go. No.

Look, this is my house, not Diana's.
Whatever her twisted fantasy.

Now, come on.

Leonard, it looks like
that pervert is bothering someone
outside the Venables'.

What are you doing now?

I'm going to go round the back, shin
up the drainpipe, go in through the

open window, and unlock the door.

You're going to shin up
the drainpipe?!

What it made of, titanium?

If my son can do it, so can I.

Your son's a teenager.
You can't lace your shoes
without getting a cramp.

Oh yes? You just watch me.

I don't want to meet your kids any
more. They're probably like you.

Oof!

THUMP >

Ow!

You'll never guess what.
Don't tell me.

There's no-one in. You don't say!

Don't fancy a quickie?

Oh, no.

It's OK, just let me deal with this.

Oh, you've been doing really well
so far.

All right, put the torch down and
stay right where you are. Calm down,

Steve. It's OK. I live here.

Just looking for the gas meter,
were we?

Identification, sir. OK, OK.
Slowly, now.

Oh, believe me officer, if he had
a gun I would have shot him.

Are you the lady
that was being accosted? What?

Oh, no, no. No, I wasn't accosted.
I'm his girlfriend.

Ah, still, you don't have to put up
with that sort of thing, you know.

Mr Venables.

That's what it says.

And it also says you live
in Kilburn, Mr Venables. Right.

This your summer residence
is it, sir?

No, it's my ex-wife's house.

No, look, you see.
Officers, it's really simple.

My ex is in Africa
helping the flood victims,
so I'm looking after the kids,

except my mother-in-law
has changed the locks because
she thinks she owns the place.

Well, actually because she thinks
I'm an irresponsible drunk who was

beneath her daughter, which I was.

Anyway, I'm now looking after
the kids while she's away

to prove that she can count on me
again.

And where are these
alleged children?
How the hell should I know?!

If they were bloody here they'd have
let me in, and you wouldn't
be here and everything would be fine.

Let me get this straight.

You break into your ex-wife's house,
with your girlfriend,

to take care of your children,
who you've lost,

just to show how responsible
you are.

Yes.

You're still in love
with your ex, aren't you?
Oh, Siobhan, can't this wait?

Oh, that's what I'm good at,
isn't it? Waiting.

Come on, we'll finish this off
in the car.

Oh, no, no, no. I am finished now.
Oh, Siobhan!

Look, call my daughter
if you don't believe I live there.

I bet he doesn't even have kids.

I've never met them.

Sorry, sir.
We've got to take precautions.

There's a flasher running
around that neighbourhood.

Not flasher, peeping Tom.
He's not sick.

Do you know, I really thought
this one's not going to be
like the others.

I mean, yeah, you might take a bit
of work, but Jimmy's different.

I don't know what you want me
to say. The truth
would be nice for a change.

How about, "Oh, by the way,
I'm still in love with my ex".

Fine, you want the truth? Yes.
I still love Ann.

We had a life, Siobhan. We have kids.

And over the years she put up with
more from me then you will ever know.

That's why I want her to know
that she can count on me now,

when she needs me.

I'll probably always love Ann,

but I'm not in love with her.

That's the truth.

Is this going to take much longer?

Oh, yes.

Miss, you're in the clear, you know.
You can go.

I think I'm going to wait, actually.

You can do better than him, love.

Oh, I know.

But I was blessed
with very low standards.

Hey.

So what happens now?

I think it's too late
to catch a film.

You know what I mean.

With us, now.

What do you want?

I asked you.

Well of course
I want there to be an "us"

now, and tomorrow
and the day after that.

Why do you think I put up with you?

I swear I can change, Siobhan.

Now, have you got any cash on you
in case I need bail?

OPERA SINGING

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

OPERA DROWNS SPEECH

Honestly,
I've never been so embarrassed.

Appalling, just appalling.

Your father's going to pay for this,
pulling us away
at the most moving part.

It looked to me
like you were asleep.

No, I wasn't, I was concentrating.

Alex, please don't dawdle.

It sounded to me like you were
snoring. It was a sigh of rapture.

MOLLY SNORES

So, this is the big house!

All right, bruv?

Some Charlie grassed you up
to the filth?

Alex, please. Both of you just sit.

Excuse me, officer,
I've come to identify someone.

Is it a body? I wish.

Sit down and I'll get to you.

Excuse me? You heard me, madam.

Oi! That is police property.

As a taxpayer, this is my property
and you work for me.

Now, stop fidgeting,
pay attention and for God's sake
stand up straight.

That's better.

Nice shoes. Oh, thank you.

Manolos?

Er, no, knock-off, actually.

Really? Mmm-hmm.
Still cost me a fortune, though.

They're so cool. Thanks.

Hello.

So, what you in for?

Oh, I'm bailing out some loser.

Yeah, so are we.

It'll just take a minute.

And we don't talk
to those sort of people, dear.

I think she's nice.

They're paid to be nice.

And you probably
couldn't even give it away, love.

Excuse me?!
Not with a mouth like yours.

Who's here for Jimmy Venables?

Dad.

James? Jimmy!

You know that peeping Tom
you've been looking for?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2007

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