Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:02,446 --> 00:01:04,156
Lookie here.
2
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,868
My day is made.
3
00:01:06,951 --> 00:01:10,913
I didn't even finish breakfast
and I get to kill me a stinkin' Injun.
4
00:01:12,331 --> 00:01:13,332
Injun?
5
00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:15,834
Nah.
6
00:01:15,918 --> 00:01:19,546
I just dress like this so's I don't get
scalped out on the prairie.
7
00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:22,674
Oh, well, that's a convincing outfit.
8
00:01:22,758 --> 00:01:26,137
Yeah, you can't be too safe out there...
9
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,764
with all of them savages runnin' around.
10
00:01:28,847 --> 00:01:30,641
So, what can I do you for?
11
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,936
Need some flour.
Five sacks.
12
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:37,273
And a carrot with peanut butter on it.
13
00:01:37,356 --> 00:01:38,858
Now, what's that gonna run me?
14
00:01:38,941 --> 00:01:41,861
Well, sack of flour's 45 cents.
15
00:01:41,944 --> 00:01:44,196
So, five sacks...
16
00:01:45,948 --> 00:01:47,241
is 40...
17
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:49,035
Wanna get back to me on that?
18
00:01:49,869 --> 00:01:51,078
Yeah, look...
19
00:01:51,162 --> 00:01:52,788
Now, the flour's in the basement.
20
00:01:52,872 --> 00:01:55,082
You can fetch it yourself.
21
00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:56,208
Much obliged.
22
00:02:14,851 --> 00:02:17,188
Well, lookie what we got here.
23
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:21,525
Sweet piece of red prairie meat
out all by her lonesome.
24
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:26,238
- What do you make of that, Nelly?
- Oh, I think she's waiting on you, Will.
25
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,827
- Go on, get on it.
- It's on now.
26
00:02:31,911 --> 00:02:33,204
- Yeah.
- Go get her, Will.
27
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:34,288
Oh, oh, oh.
28
00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:35,622
Here we go.
29
00:02:36,665 --> 00:02:41,963
Now, you must be wondering why five badass
hombres with perfect jawlines...
30
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,177
all sport the same stylish eye patch.
31
00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:50,221
Not my business.
32
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:54,766
We all carved our eyeballs
out our skull
33
00:02:54,850 --> 00:02:58,312
to show how devoted
we are to this gang.
34
00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,646
We the Left-Eye Boys!
35
00:03:01,773 --> 00:03:03,275
- Yeah!
36
00:03:04,776 --> 00:03:05,944
Hey!
37
00:03:06,028 --> 00:03:08,822
You got real pretty eyes, miss.
38
00:03:08,905 --> 00:03:11,033
You reckon we can,
I don't know, borrow one?
39
00:03:11,117 --> 00:03:13,119
- Can we borrow one?
40
00:03:18,207 --> 00:03:20,959
Now, is that a proper question
to ask a lady?
41
00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:24,088
Who are you, slick?
The boyfriend?
42
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,383
Soon to be the husband.
43
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:32,721
Oh, wait a minute!
That's a white boy under that getup.
44
00:03:32,804 --> 00:03:35,599
That's a white boy? Oh, shit.
45
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:38,894
You partial to pale faces, Poca-hot-tits?
46
00:03:38,978 --> 00:03:39,979
- Huh?
47
00:03:40,062 --> 00:03:42,523
'Cause I can show you
what a real white man's like.
48
00:03:42,606 --> 00:03:45,985
- Yeah, show her, Will. Yeah, go on.
- Yeah, shuffle up, Will.
49
00:03:46,068 --> 00:03:47,486
- Dance now, boy.
- Shuffle on over.
50
00:03:47,569 --> 00:03:50,239
- There you go.
- That's some white boy shit right there.
51
00:03:50,322 --> 00:03:52,074
Now, I do want to carve my eyes out.
52
00:03:52,158 --> 00:03:53,700
- What'd you say?
- Hey, fellers...
53
00:03:53,784 --> 00:03:56,745
I'd hit the trail before you get hurt.
54
00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:59,623
Before we get hurt?
55
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,293
- Before we get hurt.
56
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:06,338
I think you've been smokin' too much
of that peace pipe, kemo-slobby.
57
00:04:06,422 --> 00:04:09,883
- Now, from what I see, there's one of you,
58
00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:12,303
and there's five of us.
59
00:04:18,142 --> 00:04:19,143
Four of you.
60
00:04:19,935 --> 00:04:20,977
What just happened?
61
00:04:21,062 --> 00:04:22,354
You wanna see it again?
62
00:04:22,438 --> 00:04:25,191
Uh... yes.
63
00:04:36,285 --> 00:04:38,579
- I don't like this shit.
- Shut up.
64
00:04:39,371 --> 00:04:42,791
Well, that's some, uh...
real fancy footwork.
65
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:47,629
But I think this hullabaloo has escalated
to the firearms stage.
66
00:04:55,887 --> 00:04:58,974
Boys, let's ventilate this.
67
00:05:20,996 --> 00:05:23,749
What the shit that just happened?
68
00:05:31,215 --> 00:05:35,552
What the hell?
What in the hell?
69
00:05:39,681 --> 00:05:42,143
"Hit the trail."
It was so simple.
70
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,688
You must stop doing this, White Knife.
One day, there will be too many.
71
00:05:46,772 --> 00:05:48,899
But not today, Smoking Fox.
72
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,902
Please, my love...
we must go.
73
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,696
What the hell
happened out here?
74
00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:56,990
Injuns.
They went that way.
75
00:05:57,073 --> 00:05:58,700
You ain't no white man.
76
00:05:58,784 --> 00:06:01,995
You're that orphan, White Knife.
77
00:06:02,078 --> 00:06:05,707
Raised like an animal with those Apaches.
78
00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:07,876
You think you can fool ol' Clem?
79
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:09,085
Sorry, Ringo.
80
00:06:09,170 --> 00:06:13,131
Well, now I'm gonna shoot you
and your Injun whore.
81
00:06:13,215 --> 00:06:14,383
Gotta cut breakfast short.
82
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,848
You suck, mister!
83
00:06:22,641 --> 00:06:24,643
You suck!
84
00:06:27,188 --> 00:06:29,523
What are you?
85
00:06:52,254 --> 00:06:53,714
Yes, White Knife.
86
00:06:53,797 --> 00:06:55,048
Go, White Knife.
87
00:06:59,428 --> 00:07:01,472
Yay!
88
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,182
You lucky, Smoking Fox.
89
00:07:03,265 --> 00:07:06,352
White Knife all man.
Bravest of all braves.
90
00:07:07,686 --> 00:07:09,771
Not brave. Foolish.
91
00:07:09,855 --> 00:07:12,233
I want to be wife, not widow.
92
00:07:17,112 --> 00:07:18,364
Afternoon, ladies.
93
00:07:24,703 --> 00:07:26,121
This is Apache land.
94
00:07:26,205 --> 00:07:28,915
I'm not here to take your land, Chief.
95
00:07:28,999 --> 00:07:31,918
I'm just looking for a particular boy.
96
00:07:33,044 --> 00:07:34,796
I'm Frank Stockburn.
97
00:07:36,047 --> 00:07:37,591
This boy's mother was my wife.
98
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,552
And the boy, Tommy...
99
00:07:41,637 --> 00:07:43,138
he's my son.
100
00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:00,447
It is wise to be slow to trust,
White Knife.
101
00:08:00,531 --> 00:08:03,867
But every new journey begins
with a single step.
102
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,703
Speak with your father.
103
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,873
But you are my father,
Screaming Eagle.
104
00:08:10,874 --> 00:08:12,251
Ever since my mother...
105
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:16,297
Ever since you found me...
106
00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:18,632
you taught me to hunt,
to fight...
107
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:21,843
when to speak and when to be silent.
108
00:08:21,927 --> 00:08:24,137
- To be a man.
- A good man.
109
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,847
And this Frank Stockburn,
110
00:08:25,931 --> 00:08:29,393
he is filled with lies,
just like every other white man.
111
00:08:29,893 --> 00:08:33,188
Sometimes, the white man speaks the truth.
112
00:08:33,272 --> 00:08:35,982
Like, one in 20, 25 times.
113
00:08:37,359 --> 00:08:39,778
I believe this is one of those times.
114
00:08:41,530 --> 00:08:43,282
He knew your mother, White Knife.
115
00:08:43,365 --> 00:08:47,243
Maybe he can give you some peace.
Talk to him.
116
00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:49,913
Maybe after I close my eyes to dream.
117
00:09:12,102 --> 00:09:14,855
Mommy!
118
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:42,424
Oh, no.
119
00:09:47,929 --> 00:09:53,477
One look at me, and you knew your old man
had done a lot of bad things, didn't ya?
120
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:57,022
I cheated men, I killed men...
121
00:09:58,189 --> 00:10:01,443
So I deserve whatever's comin' to me.
122
00:10:03,278 --> 00:10:07,115
The only one that ever saw any good in me
was your mother.
123
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:11,870
Oh!
124
00:10:11,953 --> 00:10:13,455
Why have you come here?
125
00:10:14,122 --> 00:10:17,668
Not a man for chitchat, huh?
126
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:20,837
Well, me neither.
127
00:10:21,963 --> 00:10:24,340
Kid, I'm dying...
128
00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:26,927
of consumption.
129
00:10:30,972 --> 00:10:32,724
Don't worry...
130
00:10:32,808 --> 00:10:37,938
I'm not looking
for no big father-son hoo-ah.
131
00:10:38,522 --> 00:10:39,523
"I love you, son."
132
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,316
"I love you too, Daddy."
133
00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:48,239
No.
134
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:54,120
I've come for a more tangible reason.
135
00:10:58,374 --> 00:11:03,672
Tommy, I've been stealing from folks
since I was nine years old...
136
00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:09,886
and that's the way I've amassed
a good little fortune.
137
00:11:10,345 --> 00:11:13,599
I wanna do something
decent with it.
138
00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:17,519
I want to give it to you, son.
139
00:11:22,232 --> 00:11:23,775
I don't want your money.
140
00:11:25,235 --> 00:11:27,445
But maybe you could give...
141
00:11:27,529 --> 00:11:31,908
$50,000 to these nice Injuns
who raised you.
142
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,201
We'll take it.
143
00:11:34,369 --> 00:11:35,453
Go back to bed.
144
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,080
Sorry.
145
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,957
Seriously, though,
we'll take it.
146
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,503
Look, it's buried in the meadow
just up the trail,
147
00:11:42,586 --> 00:11:44,671
next to a big ol' pine tree.
148
00:11:44,755 --> 00:11:47,132
What do you say
we go dig it up in the morning
149
00:11:47,215 --> 00:11:50,218
and start playing Santa Claus?
150
00:11:51,386 --> 00:11:53,972
I don't remember much about my mother...
151
00:11:54,973 --> 00:11:57,518
but I do remember her telling me...
152
00:11:59,561 --> 00:12:00,937
you were dead.
153
00:12:06,151 --> 00:12:08,737
Maybe it was because...
154
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:12,157
she didn't want
you to come looking for me.
155
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,325
She was a smart lady.
156
00:12:15,493 --> 00:12:19,455
Only stupid thing she ever did
was fall for me.
157
00:12:20,248 --> 00:12:22,083
Meeting Betty Dunson...
158
00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:25,962
was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.
159
00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:32,385
From the first day I laid eyes on her...
160
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,305
she was bawlin' out this...
161
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:40,310
half-drunk, big ol' burly blacksmith...
162
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,938
down at Silver Canyon.
163
00:12:43,772 --> 00:12:46,107
She's been the only one, Tommy.
164
00:12:53,281 --> 00:12:54,825
Mom had a temper?
165
00:12:55,742 --> 00:13:00,872
Temper?
When she got her dander up, look out.
166
00:13:00,956 --> 00:13:02,791
We was in a saloon once.
167
00:13:02,874 --> 00:13:05,043
This fellow sitting next to her
168
00:13:05,126 --> 00:13:10,131
starts talking about the perfect way
to make a cherry pie...
169
00:13:11,216 --> 00:13:15,011
So your mom says to me,
"Frank, come here a minute.
170
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,849
Tell me again,
just where did you get them flowers?"
171
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:22,978
I said, "I know that you think
I stole them from the graveyard."
172
00:13:24,813 --> 00:13:26,815
Good morning, boys.
173
00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:29,317
Morning, Never Wears Bra.
174
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,237
I had dream about you last night,
White Knife.
175
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,155
Oh, that's nice.
176
00:13:34,239 --> 00:13:35,490
Not nice dream.
177
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:38,702
In dream, you naughty.
178
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,912
You naughty, White Knife.
179
00:13:40,996 --> 00:13:43,248
Mmm, somebody's got an admirer.
180
00:13:43,331 --> 00:13:45,375
- Yes, yes.
181
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:48,461
But like you,
there's only one woman for me.
182
00:13:52,924 --> 00:13:55,636
I guess we Stockburns are...
183
00:13:55,719 --> 00:13:57,470
partial to the sweet ones.
184
00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:58,930
Yes, sir.
185
00:13:59,014 --> 00:14:00,807
Like your mother.
186
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,603
How did she die, Tommy?
187
00:14:06,772 --> 00:14:07,981
You tell me?
188
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:15,030
Well, there were these big kids at school
fixin' to beat me up.
189
00:14:16,657 --> 00:14:21,077
Instead of facing them myself,
I had her walk me there.
190
00:14:21,953 --> 00:14:24,164
This feller comes out of nowhere...
191
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,876
walks right up to her and shoots her dead.
192
00:14:29,628 --> 00:14:32,923
So that's how she died,
protecting her gutless son
193
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:37,093
instead of being home,
safe where she belonged.
194
00:14:42,766 --> 00:14:45,393
Who's that?
Is that Bony Express?
195
00:14:46,061 --> 00:14:48,354
Bony Express
don't come around here.
196
00:14:50,398 --> 00:14:51,942
- Giddyap!
197
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,372
He's here somewhere, boys.
198
00:15:06,456 --> 00:15:07,666
Let's burn him out!
199
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:10,293
Oh...
200
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,295
Next one goes through your forehead.
201
00:15:13,171 --> 00:15:16,132
Hey, hey!
No need to burn nothing, boys!
202
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,218
Howdy, boss.
203
00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:19,427
Cicero...
204
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:24,432
you're not gonna let a man
enjoy his retirement, are ya?
205
00:15:24,515 --> 00:15:29,062
No, Frank, I salute your decision
to turn from your sinful ways.
206
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,897
But the money...
207
00:15:30,981 --> 00:15:32,691
that belongs to all of us.
208
00:15:32,774 --> 00:15:34,109
Touch that steel, boy,
209
00:15:34,192 --> 00:15:37,362
I got plenty of bullets left over
after I put one in...
210
00:15:40,323 --> 00:15:41,324
your father.
211
00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:46,287
Oh, you finally found your long lost son.
212
00:15:46,371 --> 00:15:49,708
Well, I sure hate to break up
this nice family reunion.
213
00:15:49,791 --> 00:15:53,086
So, why don't you give us
the money you stole
214
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,964
before I put lead in your head.
215
00:16:02,053 --> 00:16:03,263
The money's buried.
216
00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:05,556
Way to run your mouth, son.
217
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,058
It's buried?
218
00:16:07,142 --> 00:16:08,894
Yeah, I buried it.
219
00:16:08,977 --> 00:16:12,480
Deep in the ground...
next to a windmill.
220
00:16:12,563 --> 00:16:14,858
A windmill in the West...
221
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:17,068
doesn't narrow it down much, Frank.
222
00:16:17,152 --> 00:16:19,529
Well, this is a special windmill.
223
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,323
It's a singing windmill.
224
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,701
A singing windmill!
225
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,999
It's about a ten-day ride from here.
226
00:16:31,082 --> 00:16:34,127
I'll lead you to it presently
on one condition.
227
00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:36,546
You don't hurt my boy...
228
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:40,050
or any of these kindly Injuns here.
229
00:16:41,717 --> 00:16:43,178
Let's ride, Frank.
230
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:58,734
Frank, if that $50,000
isn't under that windmill,
231
00:16:58,819 --> 00:17:00,528
I'm gonna bury you up to your neck
232
00:17:00,611 --> 00:17:03,198
and let the desert critters eat you alive.
233
00:17:03,281 --> 00:17:05,658
It's there, Cicero, it's there.
234
00:17:05,741 --> 00:17:09,454
I'm glad I got to meet Betty Dunson's son.
235
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,623
You just stay here, Tommy.
236
00:17:12,707 --> 00:17:15,043
Enjoy your life
with your beautiful bride...
237
00:17:16,086 --> 00:17:20,173
amongst these majestic pine trees.
238
00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:23,509
Let's go!
239
00:17:44,447 --> 00:17:46,908
Well, that was uncool.
240
00:17:57,127 --> 00:17:59,379
White Knife, you must rest.
241
00:17:59,462 --> 00:18:00,922
How can I rest?
242
00:18:01,006 --> 00:18:04,675
When they get to the singing windmill
and find no money, they will kill him.
243
00:18:04,759 --> 00:18:09,055
My son, there are too many trees
and too little time.
244
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:13,726
Then I must get this $50,000 another way.
245
00:18:13,809 --> 00:18:17,730
How? By stealing?
There is no honor in that.
246
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:23,153
Unless I steal from those
who have no honor.
247
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:26,447
Ooh... I like that.
248
00:18:26,531 --> 00:18:28,449
But it is too dangerous.
249
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:30,994
I will send ten of our
strongest braves with you.
250
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:32,412
No.
251
00:18:32,495 --> 00:18:35,540
The braves would be treated too cruelly
in the white man's world.
252
00:18:35,623 --> 00:18:37,833
A lot of them can pass for pale face.
253
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:41,129
Raging Bear can actually do
a great impression of a white guy.
254
00:18:41,796 --> 00:18:45,175
Hey, guys, let's play with our chest hair
and eat potato chips.
255
00:18:47,969 --> 00:18:50,680
Wasn't that great?
Where does he come up with this stuff?
256
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:54,517
That's very good, Bear,
but I must walk this path alone.
257
00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:59,439
My love...
I will get this money...
258
00:18:59,522 --> 00:19:01,816
bring it to the singing windmill,
259
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,985
and be back in time for our wedding.
260
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,946
I won't let you go.
261
00:19:06,905 --> 00:19:08,198
Those men are killers.
262
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:12,577
I was a coward once
and my mother paid the price.
263
00:19:14,037 --> 00:19:16,915
That will not happen to my father.
264
00:19:34,724 --> 00:19:35,725
Whoa!
265
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,978
- Good morning.
266
00:19:38,061 --> 00:19:39,895
Where in the hell did you come from?
267
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:42,065
I'm in a bit of a bind, boys.
268
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,943
I rode all the way out here
to pan for gold
269
00:19:45,026 --> 00:19:47,070
and my horse up and died on me.
270
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,654
How'd he die?
271
00:19:48,738 --> 00:19:50,365
Suicide.
272
00:19:50,448 --> 00:19:52,242
Drowned himself.
273
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:55,703
Put his head in the stream
and just kept it there.
274
00:19:55,786 --> 00:19:57,372
Saddest thing you ever seen.
275
00:19:58,123 --> 00:19:59,374
It happens.
276
00:19:59,457 --> 00:20:02,418
Powers that be don't like to admit it,
but it happens.
277
00:20:03,211 --> 00:20:04,670
He looks like an honest white guy.
278
00:20:05,463 --> 00:20:06,506
Hop on.
279
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,424
Much obliged.
280
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,844
Just drop me off
at the nearest town.
281
00:20:18,268 --> 00:20:19,477
Ladies and gentlemen,
gather around.
282
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,647
Hear the wondrous effects
of Dr. Chubb's Vita Oil,
283
00:20:22,730 --> 00:20:25,108
the miracle cure for 1001 ailments.
284
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,027
Put the pep back in your-
285
00:20:27,652 --> 00:20:28,819
Who's this asshole?
286
00:20:43,084 --> 00:20:46,546
Well, now, look at this fella,
drinking from the horse trough.
287
00:20:46,629 --> 00:20:47,630
Excuse me.
288
00:20:49,090 --> 00:20:50,133
You there!
289
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:54,262
What you're doing is disgusting.
290
00:20:54,345 --> 00:20:56,681
That water is for our filthy horses.
291
00:20:56,764 --> 00:21:01,061
Water flows from the sky spirit
for all its children.
292
00:21:01,144 --> 00:21:02,353
Isn't that right, cousin?
293
00:21:02,437 --> 00:21:06,399
We don't cotton to that peyote-smoking
nonsense around these parts.
294
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:08,443
Do you hear me, "cousin"?
295
00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:12,780
Okay, William, come on back.
296
00:21:12,863 --> 00:21:14,324
Hey, amigo.
297
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:16,951
You planning on staying in town?
298
00:21:17,868 --> 00:21:20,413
Might need a place
to lay my head for a bit.
299
00:21:28,671 --> 00:21:31,632
Sorry about that ugly man
that insulted you.
300
00:21:31,716 --> 00:21:35,845
He runs the bank, so he thinks
he's entitled to be mean to everyone.
301
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,805
There's a bank in this town?
302
00:21:37,888 --> 00:21:39,599
Why? You wanna rob it?
303
00:21:39,682 --> 00:21:42,893
I look like a bank robber to you, ma'am?
304
00:21:42,977 --> 00:21:47,898
Funny, there's something about you that
reminds me of a certain bank robber.
305
00:21:48,524 --> 00:21:50,443
His name was Frank Stockburn.
306
00:21:51,819 --> 00:21:53,904
You know Frank Stockburn?
307
00:21:53,988 --> 00:21:56,074
"Know"? Like, in the biblical sense?
308
00:21:56,157 --> 00:21:59,577
No, ma'am.
You've met him before is what I'm asking.
309
00:21:59,660 --> 00:22:02,037
Yes, I met him.
310
00:22:02,122 --> 00:22:03,581
Then, 20 minutes later,
311
00:22:03,664 --> 00:22:07,127
I knew him in the biblical sense
on that bed, right there.
312
00:22:07,210 --> 00:22:08,211
Oh.
313
00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:13,174
And, I knew him, in the biblical sense,
twice on this railing.
314
00:22:13,258 --> 00:22:14,259
Uh-huh.
315
00:22:14,342 --> 00:22:18,679
And then, while doing a handstand
on that dresser you're leaning against.
316
00:22:21,015 --> 00:22:24,477
Did he happen to mention
a singing windmill?
317
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,397
He did mention a singing windmill.
318
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,358
He said it sounded like a choir of angels.
319
00:22:30,441 --> 00:22:32,152
Where'd he say it was?
320
00:22:32,235 --> 00:22:37,240
He said that it was in a place
where he made his biggest score.
321
00:22:37,323 --> 00:22:39,367
Whatever that was.
322
00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:40,701
And then he laughed.
323
00:22:40,785 --> 00:22:42,995
He liked to laugh...
324
00:22:43,078 --> 00:22:45,080
and have handstand sex.
325
00:22:45,165 --> 00:22:47,041
Yeah, we gotta get past that.
326
00:22:47,124 --> 00:22:48,376
I miss him.
327
00:22:48,459 --> 00:22:50,420
But he did leave me something
to remember him by.
328
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:51,879
What's this?
329
00:22:51,962 --> 00:22:55,383
A niño, Ramon.
330
00:22:56,551 --> 00:22:58,594
I have a brother?
331
00:22:58,678 --> 00:23:02,640
Oh, Burro, we had many adventures
together, you and me.
332
00:23:02,723 --> 00:23:04,225
We're not getting any younger.
333
00:23:05,685 --> 00:23:08,396
At least we have our memories.
334
00:23:10,231 --> 00:23:14,194
Remember the two girls,
the sisters, in Deadwood?
335
00:23:14,277 --> 00:23:15,570
You liked the fat one.
336
00:23:17,322 --> 00:23:18,906
You know it's true.
337
00:23:18,989 --> 00:23:20,491
Ramon Lopez?
338
00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:22,827
Sí.
339
00:23:23,744 --> 00:23:28,624
I just came from conversating
with your mother, Esmerelda.
340
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:33,629
We stumbled upon the fact that
your dad and my dad...
341
00:23:35,256 --> 00:23:36,966
are the same fella.
342
00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:39,134
Oh, that's neat.
343
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:40,886
Yeah.
344
00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:43,180
Same father.
345
00:23:43,264 --> 00:23:45,350
Half-brothers.
346
00:23:45,433 --> 00:23:47,393
What do you think about that, Burro?
347
00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:51,105
So, how is Dad?
348
00:23:51,188 --> 00:23:54,275
Well, he went and got himself kidnapped,
349
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:58,195
and I need to come up with $50,000
to save his life.
350
00:23:59,071 --> 00:24:00,656
That's a lot of pesos.
351
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:01,866
Sure is.
352
00:24:02,783 --> 00:24:06,161
That's why I'm fixin'
to rob the bank here in town.
353
00:24:07,330 --> 00:24:08,498
Hang on.
354
00:24:09,665 --> 00:24:12,167
My father is in trouble.
355
00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:15,170
My brother, he needs my help.
356
00:24:16,797 --> 00:24:18,883
I'll rob the bank with you.
357
00:24:18,966 --> 00:24:20,885
I must do this alone.
358
00:24:23,721 --> 00:24:25,515
What's happening right now?
359
00:24:27,308 --> 00:24:29,519
Ever since I'm pequeño,
360
00:24:29,602 --> 00:24:34,357
I dream about spending
one magical day with mi padre,
361
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:38,319
sharing meals,
introducing him to the burro.
362
00:24:40,446 --> 00:24:44,199
I will not let go of you
until you say I can help you.
363
00:24:50,581 --> 00:24:53,918
Will you stop brushing me
if I say yes?
364
00:24:54,001 --> 00:24:55,085
Yes.
365
00:24:57,046 --> 00:24:58,506
Then you can help.
366
00:25:11,894 --> 00:25:14,063
That means he likes you.
367
00:25:32,122 --> 00:25:35,000
That's a good amount of money
you want us to lend you.
368
00:25:35,084 --> 00:25:38,128
Now, normally, we would require
two forms of identification, madam,
369
00:25:38,212 --> 00:25:41,173
but that won't be necessary in your case.
370
00:25:41,256 --> 00:25:44,176
- I feel kinda guilty about this, Burro,
371
00:25:44,259 --> 00:25:46,095
taking money from nice people.
372
00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:48,514
I mean, it's not like
you're some greasy Mexican.
373
00:25:50,433 --> 00:25:51,892
I feel less guilty now.
374
00:25:53,811 --> 00:25:55,688
What are you doing?
375
00:25:55,771 --> 00:25:57,690
This is a bank!
376
00:25:57,773 --> 00:25:59,525
Get that donkey out of here!
377
00:25:59,609 --> 00:26:01,318
It is a burro, señor.
378
00:26:01,402 --> 00:26:04,196
I don't care, "señor."
Get it out!
379
00:26:04,279 --> 00:26:06,031
All right.
Vámonos.
380
00:26:08,368 --> 00:26:09,910
The burro don't want to vámonos.
381
00:26:09,994 --> 00:26:13,873
Well, I don't really care
what the burro wants.
382
00:26:16,792 --> 00:26:19,837
Get out of my bank, you beast!
383
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,382
I know what you're thinking,
but not yet.
384
00:26:22,465 --> 00:26:23,758
Hold it.
385
00:26:23,841 --> 00:26:25,760
Move!
386
00:26:37,229 --> 00:26:39,774
How is this jackass stuck?
387
00:26:39,857 --> 00:26:42,652
If it got in here,
it can certainly get out!
388
00:26:42,735 --> 00:26:45,446
It doesn't make sense,
it's not logical.
389
00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:48,449
They got it locked up good,
do they?
390
00:26:48,533 --> 00:26:51,869
Oh! You are leaving!
391
00:26:55,498 --> 00:26:58,418
Gall dang,
he felled on his pooper!
392
00:27:12,014 --> 00:27:14,349
- That makes no sense!
- I apologize.
393
00:27:14,434 --> 00:27:16,769
- I don't know how many times I could-
- Hey, friend.
394
00:27:16,852 --> 00:27:18,688
Need any help gettin' her out?
395
00:27:19,354 --> 00:27:21,398
She's not
really stuck, amigo.
396
00:27:21,482 --> 00:27:23,067
She's just a diversion.
397
00:27:23,150 --> 00:27:25,277
She's a virgin?
398
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,447
I'm a virgin, too...
399
00:27:27,530 --> 00:27:29,490
unless you count canty-loupes.
400
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,577
I believe that,
but she's a diversion
401
00:27:32,660 --> 00:27:34,244
to keep the banker busy
402
00:27:34,328 --> 00:27:36,997
so that my brother has time
to rob the bank.
403
00:27:37,081 --> 00:27:39,166
You're robbin' the bank?
404
00:27:39,249 --> 00:27:40,960
- Gall dang!
- Shh, shh.
405
00:27:41,043 --> 00:27:43,546
Gall dang.
Gall dang. Gall dang.
406
00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:54,348
Oh, no. Oh, no.
407
00:27:56,809 --> 00:27:59,186
No! Virgil! Virgil, the key!
408
00:28:02,022 --> 00:28:03,524
I'm Lil Pete.
409
00:28:03,608 --> 00:28:05,234
So, is your father, like, Big Pete?
410
00:28:05,317 --> 00:28:07,319
I didn't know my pa.
411
00:28:07,402 --> 00:28:10,740
But he was a bank robber like y'all!
His name was Frank.
412
00:28:11,532 --> 00:28:13,659
- Stockburn?
- How'd you know?
413
00:28:15,077 --> 00:28:16,411
Are you a wizard?
414
00:28:20,124 --> 00:28:21,751
Hey, Johnny Law.
415
00:28:21,834 --> 00:28:25,588
We'll be waiting for you
up at Jawbone Falls.
416
00:28:25,671 --> 00:28:27,172
Frank Stockburn.
417
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:28,841
What?
418
00:28:28,924 --> 00:28:30,050
Robbery!
419
00:28:30,134 --> 00:28:32,386
We're being burgled!
420
00:28:33,178 --> 00:28:35,890
You! Horse-water-drinker!
421
00:28:35,973 --> 00:28:37,307
You are caught, sir!
422
00:28:48,152 --> 00:28:49,319
- Oh!
423
00:28:49,403 --> 00:28:51,071
What are you?
424
00:28:51,739 --> 00:28:54,867
Hey, Tommy, guess what?
We got ourselves a little brother.
425
00:28:54,950 --> 00:28:58,078
Yeah! All our moms got porked
by the same outlaw.
426
00:28:58,162 --> 00:29:00,039
- Ain't that a pip?
- Yeah, that's something.
427
00:29:00,122 --> 00:29:02,917
Hey! Those bandidos just robbed the bank!
428
00:29:05,836 --> 00:29:08,213
Taste my bullets,
you dirty foreigners!
429
00:29:08,297 --> 00:29:09,757
Now!
430
00:29:14,219 --> 00:29:15,555
- Nice one, Burro.
- Wow!
431
00:29:15,638 --> 00:29:16,931
- There they are!
- We better make tracks.
432
00:29:17,014 --> 00:29:18,516
Can I come with?
I got a wagon.
433
00:29:18,599 --> 00:29:20,475
All right, that ain't a bad idea,
let's go.
434
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,061
Vámonos. Come on!
435
00:29:23,103 --> 00:29:24,814
So, if you guys are
my brothers,
436
00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:26,649
you must got three nipples, too.
437
00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:27,942
I only got two.
438
00:29:28,025 --> 00:29:29,569
Yeah, just got the two.
439
00:29:29,652 --> 00:29:31,862
Oh, must be
from my mama's side.
440
00:29:31,946 --> 00:29:33,823
Forget I tolded you that, okay?
441
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:34,990
Will do.
442
00:29:36,867 --> 00:29:38,285
Are you ready, Clem?
443
00:29:39,494 --> 00:29:41,872
Yep, yep. I'm... I'm ready.
444
00:29:48,045 --> 00:29:49,254
Spoon.
445
00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:52,299
Damn sharp.
446
00:29:57,763 --> 00:30:03,393
Look, fellas, I wanna hunt
this white Injun down same as you.
447
00:30:03,477 --> 00:30:05,229
But, uh... I...
448
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,566
I have some problems with my eyes.
449
00:30:08,649 --> 00:30:12,653
You wanna join the Left-Eye Gang,
that right eye has gotta come out.
450
00:30:12,737 --> 00:30:14,739
It'll only hurt for a second.
451
00:30:14,822 --> 00:30:17,407
Yeah, like a hundred seconds.
452
00:30:17,491 --> 00:30:20,369
- Then you're one of us.
- For life.
453
00:30:21,328 --> 00:30:23,413
Okay, that makes sense.
454
00:30:25,415 --> 00:30:29,211
Is it okay if I scoop this left eye out?
455
00:30:29,294 --> 00:30:31,046
This is... I'm basically blind here.
456
00:30:31,130 --> 00:30:33,298
This right one sees like an eagle.
457
00:30:33,382 --> 00:30:36,301
Yeah, it just seems
like a waste that I'd...
458
00:30:36,385 --> 00:30:39,722
I understand your predicament,
but rules is rules.
459
00:30:39,805 --> 00:30:42,307
Yeah, guess it... makes sense.
460
00:30:47,772 --> 00:30:49,231
Oh, God!
461
00:30:49,314 --> 00:30:51,692
- Hell, no!
462
00:30:51,776 --> 00:30:54,486
That ain't right!
463
00:30:55,404 --> 00:30:56,906
- Damn!
464
00:30:56,989 --> 00:30:58,323
It's half way.
465
00:30:58,407 --> 00:31:00,200
- It's dangling by a vein!
- Whoo! Oh, man!
466
00:31:00,284 --> 00:31:02,577
It's crazy,
I can still see out of it!
467
00:31:02,662 --> 00:31:04,079
- Goddamn, it hurts!
- I think I'm gonna puke.
468
00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:07,457
It's just going round and round like
a tassel on a stripper's titty!
469
00:31:07,541 --> 00:31:09,126
Okay, gotta get it, gotta get it!
470
00:31:09,209 --> 00:31:10,753
I'm getting dizzy!
471
00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:12,504
Got it, got it, got it!
472
00:31:12,587 --> 00:31:13,588
Yeah!
473
00:31:13,673 --> 00:31:15,382
Ah!
474
00:31:15,465 --> 00:31:18,343
Oh, Lord! Holy shit.
475
00:31:19,428 --> 00:31:23,223
You done it, partner.
Welcome to the Left-Eye Gang.
476
00:31:23,307 --> 00:31:24,349
Whoo!
477
00:31:24,433 --> 00:31:25,685
I did it!
478
00:31:25,768 --> 00:31:28,854
I'm glad that's done.
479
00:31:28,938 --> 00:31:31,816
Let's just go get that
Injun-loving son of a bitch, huh?
480
00:31:31,899 --> 00:31:32,942
Yeah.
481
00:31:33,025 --> 00:31:35,110
- Yeah! Let's get him.
- Yeah.
482
00:31:35,194 --> 00:31:37,404
Like, so...
483
00:31:37,487 --> 00:31:39,573
Oh, I touched the hole.
I touched the hole!
484
00:31:42,076 --> 00:31:44,453
Got me a patch!
485
00:31:47,539 --> 00:31:50,334
Dear Mama,
you may be wondering
486
00:31:50,417 --> 00:31:54,588
why I have not returned
from my trip to the ice cream store.
487
00:31:54,672 --> 00:31:59,051
It's because I met my brothers,
Ramon and Tommy.
488
00:31:59,134 --> 00:32:01,303
And we're trying to steal money.
489
00:32:01,386 --> 00:32:04,932
We need the money
to give to the bad men
490
00:32:05,015 --> 00:32:09,854
who took Pa away
to the land of the singing windmill.
491
00:32:09,937 --> 00:32:14,817
Tommy says it's not okay
to take money from decent folks.
492
00:32:14,900 --> 00:32:15,901
I got the money!
493
00:32:15,985 --> 00:32:18,738
Luckily, there's a lot of bad people
here in the West.
494
00:32:18,821 --> 00:32:20,405
Yee-haw!
495
00:32:20,489 --> 00:32:21,699
Let's ride!
496
00:32:24,702 --> 00:32:27,204
- Eat it! You know you like it.
497
00:32:27,287 --> 00:32:28,998
You know you like it.
498
00:32:29,623 --> 00:32:30,875
Good God!
499
00:32:30,958 --> 00:32:33,460
Good burro!
500
00:32:33,543 --> 00:32:34,795
That's right.
501
00:32:34,879 --> 00:32:35,880
Enjoy it!
502
00:32:36,881 --> 00:32:39,383
- That's just wrong.
- Yeah, yeah.
503
00:32:39,466 --> 00:32:40,467
Is it?
504
00:32:55,315 --> 00:32:58,652
This is so much better
than the cantaloupe.
505
00:33:02,865 --> 00:33:04,742
Good burro!
506
00:33:04,825 --> 00:33:07,577
Slowly, but surely,
507
00:33:07,661 --> 00:33:12,416
we're chippin' away
at the $50,000 we need to save Pa.
508
00:33:12,499 --> 00:33:14,919
That's a lot of money,
isn't it, Mama?
509
00:33:16,586 --> 00:33:17,629
Mama?
510
00:33:19,381 --> 00:33:23,761
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm writing you a letter.
511
00:33:24,887 --> 00:33:29,099
Anyways, I can't wait
to actually meet my pa.
512
00:33:29,183 --> 00:33:31,726
I want him to teach me
how you make babies.
513
00:33:31,811 --> 00:33:35,272
And how the lady poops 'em out.
514
00:33:35,355 --> 00:33:37,817
Be home quick as I can.
515
00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:41,111
Your loving son, Lil Pete.
516
00:34:05,427 --> 00:34:06,678
Tommy?
517
00:34:06,761 --> 00:34:08,555
Yeah, Lil Pete?
518
00:34:09,473 --> 00:34:11,391
Where's the singing windmill?
519
00:34:11,475 --> 00:34:14,019
It's where dad made
his biggest score.
520
00:34:15,437 --> 00:34:18,190
Maybe we'll get another clue
up at Jawbone Falls.
521
00:34:18,273 --> 00:34:21,693
That's where he used to hide out
when he was an outlaw.
522
00:34:21,776 --> 00:34:24,905
Oh, cool beans.
523
00:34:28,575 --> 00:34:29,827
Tommy?
524
00:34:29,910 --> 00:34:31,829
Yeah, Lil Pete?
525
00:34:32,787 --> 00:34:34,789
If we get caught stealing...
526
00:34:35,457 --> 00:34:37,167
would we be in trouble?
527
00:34:40,295 --> 00:34:41,755
I reckon we'll hang.
528
00:34:45,050 --> 00:34:47,677
Well... that's no bother.
529
00:34:48,762 --> 00:34:50,680
I got a real strong neck.
530
00:34:50,764 --> 00:34:54,726
Mama makes me pull the plow with my head
if I don't finish my schoolwork.
531
00:34:55,810 --> 00:34:57,479
Which occurs regularilly.
532
00:34:59,481 --> 00:35:02,109
Strong neck might come in handy.
533
00:35:02,192 --> 00:35:05,070
Okay, let's get our rest.
534
00:35:06,613 --> 00:35:08,532
Good night, Tommy.
535
00:35:09,699 --> 00:35:11,285
Good night, Lil Pete.
536
00:35:11,368 --> 00:35:13,787
Good night, Ramon.
537
00:35:13,871 --> 00:35:15,289
Good night, brothers.
538
00:35:16,290 --> 00:35:17,457
Good night, Burro.
539
00:35:21,711 --> 00:35:23,422
That's a dry one.
540
00:35:23,505 --> 00:35:25,465
We will have good dry weather tomorrow.
541
00:35:39,188 --> 00:35:40,730
Shoo, fly!
542
00:35:40,814 --> 00:35:41,941
Shoo!
543
00:35:44,443 --> 00:35:47,571
Oh, come on, fly, vámonos!
We need our sleep.
544
00:35:51,366 --> 00:35:53,577
Let me take care of this.
545
00:35:53,660 --> 00:35:55,412
How can you see a fly in the dark?
546
00:35:55,495 --> 00:35:58,748
A true hunter sees
with all his senses.
547
00:36:04,129 --> 00:36:06,256
That was some mystical shit, man.
548
00:36:09,718 --> 00:36:10,802
Uh-oh.
549
00:36:10,885 --> 00:36:13,263
I think you just nicked his biscuits off.
550
00:36:13,347 --> 00:36:15,515
That's what I was aiming for.
551
00:36:16,516 --> 00:36:18,268
He didn't deserve to die.
552
00:36:19,061 --> 00:36:21,855
He deserved to know
he was not welcome here.
553
00:36:21,939 --> 00:36:24,816
Raised by Indians, huh?
554
00:36:24,899 --> 00:36:26,986
That had some impact on you.
555
00:36:30,155 --> 00:36:32,032
Well, let me get this one.
556
00:36:40,207 --> 00:36:42,126
Sounded like a horse fly.
557
00:36:42,209 --> 00:36:45,004
That wasn't a horse fly,
that was my horse!
558
00:36:45,087 --> 00:36:46,546
Peanut?
559
00:36:46,630 --> 00:36:48,423
Oh, Peanut!
560
00:36:49,924 --> 00:36:52,719
Oh, the burro's gonna be pissed.
561
00:36:53,928 --> 00:36:55,472
You're doing bueno, Burro!
562
00:36:55,555 --> 00:36:58,433
Don't be intimidated by the horse,
you're just as good as him.
563
00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:00,435
I'm so hungry.
564
00:37:00,519 --> 00:37:02,646
There's breakfast all around.
565
00:37:02,729 --> 00:37:07,526
Nuts, berries, bark,
different kinds of mud.
566
00:37:07,609 --> 00:37:09,778
I wish there were taco trees.
567
00:37:09,861 --> 00:37:11,321
What's a taco?
568
00:37:11,405 --> 00:37:12,822
They're the best.
569
00:37:12,906 --> 00:37:16,535
Meat and cheese and tomatoes
in a crispy shell.
570
00:37:16,618 --> 00:37:18,037
You'd love it, man.
571
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,539
Ooh, I want one.
I want 50.
572
00:37:20,622 --> 00:37:23,292
Hate to put an end
to this fascinating conversation,
573
00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:24,376
but we're here.
574
00:37:24,459 --> 00:37:27,046
- Jawbone Falls.
575
00:37:29,214 --> 00:37:31,758
And there's a mansion next to it!
576
00:37:39,516 --> 00:37:40,975
Should we just go in?
577
00:37:42,061 --> 00:37:43,895
I reckon.
578
00:37:53,405 --> 00:37:54,448
Hello?
579
00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:57,951
Hola.
580
00:38:01,330 --> 00:38:04,583
Well, this is cozy.
581
00:38:11,340 --> 00:38:12,424
Hello?
582
00:38:21,933 --> 00:38:23,602
Hold on!
583
00:38:23,685 --> 00:38:25,437
Tommy!
584
00:38:33,278 --> 00:38:36,198
Stop! Leave my brother alone!
585
00:38:36,281 --> 00:38:38,367
No, no, no!
586
00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:40,660
Simon says, "Stop!"
587
00:38:40,744 --> 00:38:43,288
Don't hurt my brother!
588
00:38:44,414 --> 00:38:45,499
- Stop!
- Huh?
589
00:38:51,588 --> 00:38:52,922
Good thinking, Tommy.
590
00:38:53,006 --> 00:38:54,007
All right.
591
00:38:54,091 --> 00:38:56,301
Not for me, but good one, Tommy.
592
00:38:58,428 --> 00:39:01,055
Settle, settle, watch it...
593
00:39:01,140 --> 00:39:03,100
It's all right, it's all right...
594
00:39:05,059 --> 00:39:06,228
We don't mean no harm.
595
00:39:06,311 --> 00:39:09,439
- We're just looking for our dad.
- Sí.
596
00:39:09,523 --> 00:39:11,024
Is this your place?
597
00:39:12,526 --> 00:39:13,818
Whose place is it?
598
00:39:18,323 --> 00:39:19,491
Your mother?
599
00:39:19,574 --> 00:39:22,035
- Oh, is she here right now?
600
00:39:25,079 --> 00:39:26,415
Oh, she's dead.
601
00:39:28,041 --> 00:39:30,252
I'm so sorry,
I'm sure she was a good woman.
602
00:39:31,711 --> 00:39:32,962
She died three years ago?
603
00:39:34,173 --> 00:39:35,215
Three months ago?
604
00:39:37,176 --> 00:39:39,844
Oh, your mama has three nipples?
605
00:39:39,928 --> 00:39:41,054
Huh?
606
00:39:43,932 --> 00:39:46,685
- Yeah, there's three of us.
607
00:39:46,768 --> 00:39:49,020
- Three of us, sí.
- Okay. Okay.
608
00:39:49,103 --> 00:39:50,897
Claro, tres. Sí. Sí.
609
00:39:52,899 --> 00:39:53,900
Whoo-hoo!
610
00:39:53,983 --> 00:39:56,653
You and your mom were making
moonshine up here, huh?
611
00:39:56,736 --> 00:39:58,405
Much obliged.
612
00:39:59,113 --> 00:40:00,114
Gracias.
613
00:40:01,283 --> 00:40:04,661
Making moonshine for Frank Stockburn?
614
00:40:04,744 --> 00:40:06,288
You know Frank Stockburn?
615
00:40:09,291 --> 00:40:10,542
He slept here?
616
00:40:12,211 --> 00:40:13,378
With your mama?
617
00:40:19,634 --> 00:40:20,635
Okay.
618
00:40:26,683 --> 00:40:30,019
Your mama was an owl.
619
00:40:30,103 --> 00:40:33,357
No, our dad made his mom
make owl noises.
620
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:34,733
Huh?
621
00:40:34,816 --> 00:40:39,070
Yeah, that's right, friend.
We're your brothers.
622
00:40:40,364 --> 00:40:42,156
Gall dang!
623
00:40:49,831 --> 00:40:50,832
Okay.
624
00:40:50,915 --> 00:40:53,210
- Down the hatch, boys!
- Salud. Salud.
625
00:40:55,629 --> 00:40:57,256
What's your name, anyways?
626
00:41:05,054 --> 00:41:09,559
H... R... M...
627
00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:13,480
Squiggly line, asterisk.
628
00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:17,484
How 'bout we just call you Herm?
629
00:41:19,152 --> 00:41:21,195
Herm, so you know,
630
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,824
our dad was kidnapped
by some bad muchachos.
631
00:41:24,908 --> 00:41:26,326
- Yeah,
632
00:41:26,410 --> 00:41:28,787
- we need money to get him back.
633
00:41:28,870 --> 00:41:30,830
So we're going to steal the money.
634
00:41:33,292 --> 00:41:36,420
No, we're only stealing the money
from folks what are bad.
635
00:41:36,503 --> 00:41:37,921
Hmm...
636
00:41:39,298 --> 00:41:44,052
So do you know of any place where we could
steal a lot of money from some bad folks?
637
00:41:44,135 --> 00:41:45,762
Mmm...
638
00:41:47,472 --> 00:41:48,640
He's got something.
639
00:41:52,352 --> 00:41:55,063
The Gold Nugget Saloon, huh?
640
00:41:56,189 --> 00:41:57,524
I reckon you're coming with us?
641
00:42:02,111 --> 00:42:04,448
Smoking Fox
so worried about White Knife.
642
00:42:04,531 --> 00:42:06,491
We must get her to eat something.
643
00:42:06,575 --> 00:42:09,786
Oh, we having a little picnic here, huh?
644
00:42:09,869 --> 00:42:11,913
You have no right to be here!
This Apache land!
645
00:42:11,996 --> 00:42:14,583
And what you gonna do about it,
beaver breath?
646
00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:16,376
How he know my name?
647
00:42:16,460 --> 00:42:18,920
- That's really her name!
648
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,551
Yeah, I think you also could have
gone with "Face Like Witch."
649
00:42:24,634 --> 00:42:26,303
Or "Eats Like Pig."
650
00:42:26,386 --> 00:42:28,096
Or "Hit In Face With Diarrhea Stick."
651
00:42:29,889 --> 00:42:32,934
That's it? Nobody else?
Babyface? Stumbles?
652
00:42:33,017 --> 00:42:36,062
Hey, boss! Look what I got here!
653
00:42:36,145 --> 00:42:39,190
He ain't gonna be
happy about this.
654
00:42:39,273 --> 00:42:42,444
Well, well, well.
655
00:42:48,908 --> 00:42:51,786
Yep, used to be a prosperous town.
656
00:42:51,870 --> 00:42:56,500
Then the gold mine dried up
and the train stopped stopping.
657
00:42:56,583 --> 00:43:00,086
The saloon's the only place left that
still does a good business.
658
00:43:00,169 --> 00:43:04,466
Open day and night since they built it.
Ain't even a lock on the front door.
659
00:43:04,549 --> 00:43:05,800
It never closes.
660
00:43:07,677 --> 00:43:10,138
They got a big ol' golden nugget
hanging above the fireplace.
661
00:43:10,221 --> 00:43:12,223
Folks come from all over
just to take a look.
662
00:43:12,306 --> 00:43:15,309
They say it's worth about $20,000, easy.
663
00:43:16,770 --> 00:43:17,854
All right.
664
00:43:22,150 --> 00:43:25,945
I'm surprised no one's ever tried
to stolen that nugget.
665
00:43:26,029 --> 00:43:27,822
- Oh, folks have tried.
666
00:43:27,906 --> 00:43:31,117
If you go in there, you see their thumbs
hanging above the bar.
667
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,286
Smiley Harris, the owner,
bit them clean off.
668
00:43:33,370 --> 00:43:35,121
So nobody messes with Smiley.
669
00:43:39,793 --> 00:43:41,378
That sort of tickled.
670
00:43:41,461 --> 00:43:44,172
What we got going over here, friend?
671
00:43:44,255 --> 00:43:46,508
Just open your robe, please.
672
00:43:48,718 --> 00:43:50,219
Ooh...
673
00:43:50,303 --> 00:43:53,014
I have never seen that big of a rash...
674
00:43:53,097 --> 00:43:54,808
or infection
675
00:43:54,891 --> 00:43:58,102
or whatever this green bubble is.
676
00:43:58,186 --> 00:43:59,688
Hmm.
677
00:43:59,771 --> 00:44:00,855
All right.
678
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:04,401
Yeah.
679
00:44:08,530 --> 00:44:11,866
Now, son, I would simply recommend
that you stop doing
680
00:44:11,950 --> 00:44:14,202
whatever it is you've been doing,
681
00:44:14,285 --> 00:44:16,455
with whoever...
682
00:44:16,538 --> 00:44:19,040
or whatever you've been doing it with.
683
00:44:27,591 --> 00:44:29,468
Yep, now they call him Smiley,
684
00:44:29,551 --> 00:44:33,597
'cause even when committing
the most unspeakable atrocities,
685
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:36,725
a cheerful grin never leaves his face.
686
00:44:38,685 --> 00:44:40,937
All right, just lift your tail
for me, please.
687
00:44:42,481 --> 00:44:44,608
Now, he's why that nugget
has never been stolen.
688
00:44:45,734 --> 00:44:47,652
And never will be stolen.
689
00:44:52,657 --> 00:44:54,534
This'll prevent infection.
690
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:00,832
It tastes good, too.
691
00:45:00,915 --> 00:45:06,170
This Smiley fella, sounds more like
a hooligan than a barkeep.
692
00:45:06,254 --> 00:45:07,506
You're not far off.
693
00:45:07,589 --> 00:45:09,257
Rumor has it that back in the old days
694
00:45:09,340 --> 00:45:11,384
he used to run
with the Frank Stockburn Gang.
695
00:45:13,052 --> 00:45:14,428
Lip balm?
696
00:45:14,513 --> 00:45:16,640
I reckon I'm good.
697
00:45:25,231 --> 00:45:28,527
♪ For breakfast
My baby bakes my biscuits ♪
698
00:45:28,610 --> 00:45:31,655
♪ At lunchtime
She puts honey in my tea ♪
699
00:45:31,738 --> 00:45:33,072
Come on, champ!
700
00:45:33,156 --> 00:45:36,910
♪ For supper
She butters up my corn cob ♪
701
00:45:36,993 --> 00:45:39,746
♪ And for dessert
She gives that pudding to me ♪
702
00:45:40,955 --> 00:45:44,000
♪ My baby knows my eggs are over easy ♪
703
00:45:45,084 --> 00:45:48,004
♪ She lets me cut her coffee
with my cream ♪
704
00:45:48,755 --> 00:45:52,551
♪ I've got a hankering
for some cherry pie ♪
705
00:45:52,634 --> 00:45:56,345
♪ My baby always licks the ladle clean ♪
706
00:45:59,891 --> 00:46:02,936
That Smiley fellow,
he don't joke around.
707
00:46:03,019 --> 00:46:04,563
Oh... I joke around...
708
00:46:05,271 --> 00:46:06,981
but never when it comes to my business.
709
00:46:07,065 --> 00:46:09,442
Welcome to the Gold Nugget, gentlemen.
710
00:46:09,525 --> 00:46:12,779
Mr. Harris,
it's quite a nice spread you got here.
711
00:46:12,862 --> 00:46:14,823
So what brings you gentlemen to town?
712
00:46:14,906 --> 00:46:19,368
Actually, we wanted to ask you
about something, Mr. Harris.
713
00:46:19,452 --> 00:46:20,870
Excuse me.
714
00:46:21,705 --> 00:46:25,499
I am conversing with these gentlemen, sir.
I shall be with you in a moment.
715
00:46:25,584 --> 00:46:28,587
I need to talk to you about
Frank Stockburn.
716
00:46:33,049 --> 00:46:35,426
I haven't heard that name in many a year.
717
00:46:35,509 --> 00:46:36,595
You know him.
718
00:46:36,678 --> 00:46:39,513
Mr. Stockburn and I
were business partners.
719
00:46:39,598 --> 00:46:41,725
I got a photograph.
720
00:46:41,808 --> 00:46:46,020
You see, that there's him...
and that's you.
721
00:46:46,104 --> 00:46:47,814
You rode in his gang.
722
00:46:47,897 --> 00:46:51,567
To be precise...
it was our gang.
723
00:46:51,651 --> 00:46:54,320
He went on to a criminal career
of some renown,
724
00:46:54,403 --> 00:46:57,824
while I achieved great success
in the legitimate business world.
725
00:46:57,907 --> 00:46:59,283
Please help me.
726
00:46:59,367 --> 00:47:01,327
Sir, you are becoming a nuisance.
727
00:47:01,410 --> 00:47:03,872
I just need to tell him what I've done.
728
00:47:30,398 --> 00:47:33,192
I think he's had enough, boss.
729
00:47:35,737 --> 00:47:37,739
Yes.
730
00:47:37,822 --> 00:47:40,491
My apologies, gentlemen.
731
00:47:40,574 --> 00:47:42,702
Not my favorite subject.
732
00:47:42,786 --> 00:47:44,913
A round on the house.
733
00:47:46,330 --> 00:47:49,793
And, Chico, if you ever
grab my arm like that again,
734
00:47:49,876 --> 00:47:51,711
I'll put six bullets in your head.
735
00:47:54,130 --> 00:47:55,381
- That's quite a beating.
736
00:47:55,464 --> 00:47:58,009
Hope you and your drink are okay.
737
00:47:58,927 --> 00:48:01,846
Why do you want to meet
this Frank Stockburn so badly, huh?
738
00:48:01,930 --> 00:48:04,015
Frank Stockburn's my father.
739
00:48:06,142 --> 00:48:09,729
If Frank Stockburn is your father,
raise your hand.
740
00:48:12,190 --> 00:48:13,775
Gall dang!
741
00:48:23,284 --> 00:48:26,788
Chico's right.
Getting late, starting to thin out.
742
00:48:28,915 --> 00:48:30,624
Can I tell you guys something?
743
00:48:30,709 --> 00:48:33,086
Because I don't wanna have
no secrets between us.
744
00:48:33,169 --> 00:48:34,295
Of course.
745
00:48:34,378 --> 00:48:36,339
- Yeah, we're brothers.
- Yeah.
746
00:48:36,422 --> 00:48:40,719
Now, I know Dad is a white man,
but my mother...
747
00:48:40,802 --> 00:48:42,511
was actually black.
748
00:48:42,595 --> 00:48:46,307
So that, technically,
makes me half-black.
749
00:48:46,390 --> 00:48:48,184
Is that right?
750
00:48:48,267 --> 00:48:49,811
Well, I didn't wanna hide that from you
751
00:48:49,894 --> 00:48:52,688
in case you guys slipped up
and made some racial slurs
752
00:48:52,772 --> 00:48:56,067
- not knowing I wasn't 100% white.
- Hmm.
753
00:48:56,150 --> 00:48:58,527
I mean, I knew she must've
been really muscular,
754
00:48:58,611 --> 00:49:00,905
but I had no idea she was black.
755
00:49:00,989 --> 00:49:02,031
Yeah, I mean, I guess,
756
00:49:02,115 --> 00:49:04,075
now that you mention it,
I see it a little bit.
757
00:49:05,409 --> 00:49:07,954
My mother's Swedish.
758
00:49:08,037 --> 00:49:10,874
I don't think so.
I reckon she's Mexican.
759
00:49:12,375 --> 00:49:14,335
Lying bitch!
760
00:49:15,419 --> 00:49:18,172
So do you new brothers
have any special skills
761
00:49:18,256 --> 00:49:20,299
that could help us out here tonight?
762
00:49:20,383 --> 00:49:21,384
Like what?
763
00:49:21,467 --> 00:49:23,845
Like, you know,
Tommy's good with knives.
764
00:49:23,928 --> 00:49:26,305
- Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple.
765
00:49:26,389 --> 00:49:27,974
I got a burro.
766
00:49:29,725 --> 00:49:31,895
Herm is good at strangling.
767
00:49:31,978 --> 00:49:35,648
- Huh?
- I can hold my breath for six minutes.
768
00:49:35,731 --> 00:49:38,401
Well, I can play the piano with my dick.
769
00:49:38,484 --> 00:49:41,612
Well, we're unstoppable then.
770
00:49:41,695 --> 00:49:46,242
Anyways, any of you handsome brothers
ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?
771
00:49:46,325 --> 00:49:48,286
- I'm ready.
- I'm hungry.
772
00:49:48,369 --> 00:49:49,871
- I'm drunk.
- And I'm Lil Pete.
773
00:49:51,205 --> 00:49:53,291
Let's get that nugget then.
774
00:50:34,748 --> 00:50:36,334
Oh...
775
00:50:36,417 --> 00:50:39,921
You've got some pair of huevos
coming into my place, son.
776
00:50:40,004 --> 00:50:42,798
I sure am sorry
about what happened, Mr. Harris.
777
00:50:42,882 --> 00:50:45,384
In fact, I'd like to buy you a drink...
778
00:50:45,468 --> 00:50:48,137
of the good stuff,
if that's okay?
779
00:50:48,847 --> 00:50:52,934
Barkeep, you got any scotch,
real scotch, from scotch-land?
780
00:50:56,062 --> 00:50:59,607
We keep the imported stuff in the back.
I'll go and fetch it for you.
781
00:50:59,690 --> 00:51:01,025
That's wonderful.
782
00:51:17,416 --> 00:51:19,085
Now, I didn't hear that,
did you?
783
00:51:19,168 --> 00:51:20,544
I did.
784
00:51:43,484 --> 00:51:45,153
I don't know,
maybe I'm turned round.
785
00:51:45,236 --> 00:51:48,156
I thought that, like,
tonight was gonna be Fajita Friday
786
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,199
or line dancing or something.
787
00:51:50,283 --> 00:51:53,661
It just seems quiet, but y'all be good.
Stay warm.
788
00:51:53,744 --> 00:51:56,289
- Hey, he's got the thumbs!
- They came with the pants!
789
00:52:00,876 --> 00:52:02,962
Right on the rocks,
right on the rocks.
790
00:52:03,046 --> 00:52:05,589
Oh, you're gaining on me!
You're gaining on me!
791
00:52:05,673 --> 00:52:08,467
You don't even understand
what we're gonna do to-
792
00:52:12,931 --> 00:52:15,224
Teach them not to mess
with the Stockburn brothers!
793
00:52:25,944 --> 00:52:29,197
Smiley...
794
00:52:38,747 --> 00:52:41,500
I'm watching you!
795
00:52:41,584 --> 00:52:43,086
Who's that?
796
00:52:46,672 --> 00:52:48,132
Ladies.
797
00:52:51,594 --> 00:52:55,848
What's behind door number three?
798
00:53:01,854 --> 00:53:05,899
Okay, ladies, take your clothes off
and start punching me in the face.
799
00:53:05,984 --> 00:53:07,026
- Sorry, carry on.
800
00:53:07,110 --> 00:53:08,987
Hallelujah!
801
00:53:11,489 --> 00:53:16,535
Smiley,
why don't you visit your grandma...
802
00:53:16,619 --> 00:53:18,287
In hell!
803
00:53:38,474 --> 00:53:40,351
Smiley.
804
00:53:40,434 --> 00:53:44,730
You cannot
escape me, Smiley!
805
00:53:49,818 --> 00:53:52,988
Give me my thumbs back.
806
00:53:59,870 --> 00:54:01,997
It's too big, Lil Pete!
807
00:54:02,081 --> 00:54:03,249
What's too big?
808
00:54:04,083 --> 00:54:06,377
Uh... plan B's too big?
809
00:54:06,460 --> 00:54:07,961
What the hell is plan B?
810
00:54:08,046 --> 00:54:09,672
Let me show you.
811
00:54:10,423 --> 00:54:11,507
Plan B!
812
00:54:33,028 --> 00:54:35,823
Yeah, works better if you have knives.
813
00:54:35,906 --> 00:54:38,826
Yeah, that makes sense.
814
00:54:38,909 --> 00:54:40,161
Come on.
815
00:54:42,288 --> 00:54:43,872
You can take 'em!
Come on!
816
00:54:43,956 --> 00:54:46,417
I got the nugget! I got the nugget!
What do we do?
817
00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:48,169
- He's shooting like a madman!
- Come on!
818
00:54:48,252 --> 00:54:50,296
- Big bullets! Big bullets!
- Come on! Come on!
819
00:54:54,258 --> 00:54:56,552
- Next man who moves will die!
820
00:55:00,556 --> 00:55:02,558
Who are you people?
821
00:55:09,607 --> 00:55:11,900
We are the Stockburn brothers.
822
00:55:11,984 --> 00:55:13,861
Frank's kids?
823
00:55:17,448 --> 00:55:22,203
Well... this is interesting.
824
00:55:22,286 --> 00:55:25,706
You know, the last time
I saw your father was in Utah.
825
00:55:25,789 --> 00:55:28,083
Just rang up our biggest score.
826
00:55:29,252 --> 00:55:30,919
But when we was dividing it up,
827
00:55:31,003 --> 00:55:33,922
we started having trouble
with the arithmetic.
828
00:55:34,006 --> 00:55:38,177
And somehow I ended up
abandoned beside a windmill,
829
00:55:38,261 --> 00:55:42,890
knife stuck in my guts,
left to die like a dog.
830
00:55:42,973 --> 00:55:45,309
Frank had taken it all.
831
00:55:45,393 --> 00:55:48,479
But now, I get to take something.
832
00:55:48,562 --> 00:55:52,775
The lives of his five ridiculous sons.
833
00:55:56,570 --> 00:55:57,988
Don't forget about número seis!
834
00:56:02,493 --> 00:56:04,578
Holy moly!
835
00:56:04,662 --> 00:56:06,205
No! Hell, no!
836
00:56:22,471 --> 00:56:26,099
He's giving himself
six bullets to the head!
837
00:56:26,184 --> 00:56:28,352
And he's still smiling!
838
00:56:39,655 --> 00:56:41,615
I was just trying to knock him out.
839
00:56:42,658 --> 00:56:45,286
Well, you succeeded.
840
00:56:45,369 --> 00:56:47,205
I don't think he's waking up
from that one.
841
00:56:47,288 --> 00:56:49,164
You done a number on him, Ramon.
842
00:56:49,248 --> 00:56:50,708
You did!
You did a number there.
843
00:56:50,791 --> 00:56:53,043
- Yeah, you did!
- Hey! Hey!
844
00:57:07,140 --> 00:57:10,102
Plan B was officially insane!
845
00:57:14,064 --> 00:57:17,401
Here you are, Danny.
It's an old Apache remedy.
846
00:57:19,362 --> 00:57:22,490
Clears your head after too much firewater.
847
00:57:22,573 --> 00:57:26,410
You know everything, Tommy.
Where'd you learn all this stuff?
848
00:57:26,494 --> 00:57:28,412
My father taught me.
849
00:57:28,496 --> 00:57:31,749
Dad? I thought you just met him last week.
850
00:57:31,832 --> 00:57:35,043
Not our father. Screaming Eagle.
851
00:57:35,127 --> 00:57:36,962
He raised me since I was a kid.
852
00:57:37,045 --> 00:57:41,133
He's the kindest...
wisest man I've ever known.
853
00:57:41,217 --> 00:57:42,301
Wow...
854
00:57:43,386 --> 00:57:45,429
must've been nice to have a dad.
855
00:57:45,513 --> 00:57:48,807
Oh, yeah, someone to wrastle with
856
00:57:48,891 --> 00:57:51,143
and teach you how
to cut up your panny-cakes.
857
00:57:51,227 --> 00:57:55,814
Someone to give you advice
when you screwed up real, real bad.
858
00:57:57,065 --> 00:57:58,609
Well, we do got a dad.
859
00:58:00,027 --> 00:58:02,154
And we're gonna see him real soon.
860
00:58:04,573 --> 00:58:06,867
Yeah... I can't wait.
861
00:58:08,452 --> 00:58:09,745
Yeah.
862
00:58:09,828 --> 00:58:13,541
♪ When I meet Dad
I must insist ♪
863
00:58:13,624 --> 00:58:17,002
♪ On making up
for all the time we missed ♪
864
00:58:17,085 --> 00:58:19,255
♪ We'll talk and drink ♪
865
00:58:19,338 --> 00:58:21,257
♪ And he'll bounce me on his knee ♪
866
00:58:21,340 --> 00:58:26,387
♪ Then we'll search hand in hand
for the taco tree ♪
867
00:58:27,638 --> 00:58:31,350
♪ When I meet Dad
I'm gonna ask him why ♪
868
00:58:31,434 --> 00:58:35,854
♪ Did he pork my mother
then say goodbye ♪
869
00:58:35,938 --> 00:58:39,608
♪ We're gonna be just like
birds of a feather ♪
870
00:58:39,692 --> 00:58:43,321
♪ Playing piano with our dicks together ♪
871
00:58:45,656 --> 00:58:47,240
♪ When I meet Dad ♪
872
00:58:47,325 --> 00:58:49,076
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
873
00:58:49,159 --> 00:58:51,161
♪ He'll take away my sad ♪
874
00:58:51,244 --> 00:58:54,748
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
875
00:58:56,792 --> 00:58:58,210
♪ When I see Pa ♪
876
00:58:58,294 --> 00:59:00,504
♪ I'm gonna scream, "Gall dang!" ♪
877
00:59:00,588 --> 00:59:04,675
♪ You're the handsomest man
and you're really, really good ♪
878
00:59:04,758 --> 00:59:08,721
♪ I love you, Pa
And I'm glad you're my pa ♪
879
00:59:08,804 --> 00:59:11,890
♪ Why do I have three nipples? ♪
880
00:59:14,352 --> 00:59:16,604
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
881
00:59:16,687 --> 00:59:18,397
♪ When we meet Dad ♪
882
00:59:18,481 --> 00:59:20,441
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
883
00:59:20,524 --> 00:59:23,402
♪ Why does he have three nipples? ♪
884
00:59:32,411 --> 00:59:33,662
Hit it, Herm!
885
00:59:41,879 --> 00:59:43,339
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
886
00:59:43,422 --> 00:59:45,298
♪ It's fun to have brothers ♪
887
00:59:45,383 --> 00:59:47,300
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
888
00:59:47,385 --> 00:59:50,388
♪ All from different mothers ♪
889
00:59:52,222 --> 00:59:57,185
♪ Well, I had a dad
And now I have two ♪
890
00:59:57,269 --> 01:00:01,857
♪ But one thing I never had
was a mother like you ♪
891
01:00:01,940 --> 01:00:07,112
♪ She lost her life 'cause of me
and I miss her every day ♪
892
01:00:07,195 --> 01:00:11,324
♪ Why, oh, why did that evil man ♪
893
01:00:11,409 --> 01:00:15,287
♪ Take my mama away? ♪
894
01:00:20,333 --> 01:00:22,294
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
895
01:00:22,378 --> 01:00:24,254
♪ I think I'm gonna cry ♪
896
01:00:24,337 --> 01:00:26,256
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
897
01:00:26,339 --> 01:00:29,968
♪ Quick, Herm, do the headless guy ♪
898
01:00:58,497 --> 01:00:59,623
What the...
899
01:01:01,834 --> 01:01:03,293
Okay, boys.
900
01:01:04,377 --> 01:01:06,046
I'm gonna check this out.
901
01:01:09,091 --> 01:01:12,385
The ball is in your hand,
twist the leg, then you let it go!
902
01:01:12,470 --> 01:01:14,221
Now, let me see.
Ready, men?
903
01:01:15,431 --> 01:01:17,725
No, no, no!
904
01:01:17,808 --> 01:01:20,436
You're not listening to me, Hung Shin!
905
01:01:20,519 --> 01:01:23,271
You have to be very precise.
906
01:01:23,355 --> 01:01:25,816
Precise...
907
01:01:25,899 --> 01:01:27,317
I say!
908
01:01:27,400 --> 01:01:28,569
You there!
909
01:01:28,652 --> 01:01:31,739
I have a proposition.
910
01:01:31,822 --> 01:01:35,200
How would you men like to participate
911
01:01:35,283 --> 01:01:38,370
in the birth of something extraordinary?
912
01:01:38,454 --> 01:01:42,541
Well, we ain't got time for that,
but you can have your brown thing back.
913
01:01:43,917 --> 01:01:46,003
What's so damnably important
914
01:01:46,086 --> 01:01:48,464
that you need to miss
your rendezvous with history?
915
01:01:48,547 --> 01:01:51,424
We gotta save our daddy,
Frank Stockburn.
916
01:01:51,509 --> 01:01:52,968
Frank Stockburn, the outlaw?
917
01:01:53,051 --> 01:01:55,387
- You know our dad?
- Without a doubt.
918
01:01:55,471 --> 01:01:58,056
One of the best poker players
I've ever played against.
919
01:01:58,140 --> 01:02:03,145
I played him in Ezekiel Grant's
annual Valentine's Day game down in Yuma.
920
01:02:03,228 --> 01:02:08,108
Thousands of dollars on the table,
but Stockburn doesn't bat an eyelash.
921
01:02:08,191 --> 01:02:12,029
He happen to mention anything
about what his biggest score was?
922
01:02:12,112 --> 01:02:15,448
Over in Utah?
A guy named Smiley Harris?
923
01:02:16,449 --> 01:02:17,951
I'll make you a deal.
924
01:02:18,035 --> 01:02:22,039
Help me out a bit
and I'll tell you all I know.
925
01:02:22,122 --> 01:02:24,792
Deal. Tommy Dunson.
926
01:02:24,875 --> 01:02:28,504
Abner Doubleday.
Let's play ball.
927
01:02:34,718 --> 01:02:39,682
Welcome, my friends, to the first ever
playing of a new sport.
928
01:02:39,765 --> 01:02:43,644
A sport of my own devising.
929
01:02:43,727 --> 01:02:49,942
On this field, two ten-person teams
will engage in a battle of-
930
01:02:50,025 --> 01:02:51,484
Yes, Qi?
931
01:02:51,569 --> 01:02:54,321
Only 18 people here.
932
01:02:55,447 --> 01:03:01,829
Two nine-person teams will engage in
a battle of strength, speed, and strategy.
933
01:03:01,912 --> 01:03:06,625
One team will go out onto
the field to play defense
934
01:03:06,709 --> 01:03:11,338
while the other team
will take turns hitting this ball...
935
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:14,257
with a stickie.
936
01:03:14,341 --> 01:03:16,426
What are you gonna call this game?
937
01:03:16,509 --> 01:03:17,761
What else?
938
01:03:17,845 --> 01:03:20,513
Stickie McSchnickens.
939
01:03:22,766 --> 01:03:27,688
Now your goal, ball thrower,
is to get the ball past me two times
940
01:03:27,771 --> 01:03:29,356
without my hitting it.
941
01:03:29,439 --> 01:03:32,525
Fire when ready.
942
01:03:35,904 --> 01:03:39,449
I didn't know you were going
to toss it quite so hard, ball thrower.
943
01:03:39,532 --> 01:03:40,533
All right.
944
01:03:46,081 --> 01:03:49,292
Okay, that's two past ya.
So you're done, right?
945
01:03:49,376 --> 01:03:51,461
No, no, I said three times.
946
01:03:51,544 --> 01:03:53,296
No, you said two.
947
01:03:53,380 --> 01:03:56,174
I said three!
Three strikes and I'm out.
948
01:03:56,258 --> 01:03:59,094
I know what I said, shortstop.
949
01:04:00,470 --> 01:04:03,348
That's your new name.
Short Stop, that's right.
950
01:04:03,431 --> 01:04:05,183
Now and forever.
Forever and ever!
951
01:04:05,267 --> 01:04:07,269
Short Stop.
Short Stop, Short Stop.
952
01:04:07,352 --> 01:04:08,395
Short Stop.
953
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:11,857
Yes, all right.
954
01:04:13,609 --> 01:04:15,277
Strike three!
You're out!
955
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:19,489
No, no, the ball was... too low.
956
01:04:19,572 --> 01:04:24,620
In order for it to count as a strike,
it has to pass through the...
957
01:04:24,703 --> 01:04:25,954
strike zone.
958
01:04:26,038 --> 01:04:27,706
- Strike zone?
- That's right.
959
01:04:27,790 --> 01:04:32,210
And if you don't get the ball past me,
between my knees and my titties,
960
01:04:32,294 --> 01:04:33,461
it's not a strike.
961
01:04:33,545 --> 01:04:35,047
It's a non-strike.
962
01:04:35,130 --> 01:04:36,757
And if you throw me four non-strikes,
963
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:39,885
I get an express ticket to first base
without my even hitting it.
964
01:04:40,385 --> 01:04:41,679
Oh.
965
01:04:41,762 --> 01:04:43,180
All right, are we ready?
966
01:04:47,810 --> 01:04:50,938
That also gets me to first base...
as well.
967
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:03,491
Where you going?
Nobody hit it.
968
01:05:03,575 --> 01:05:06,787
I stole the base.
You weren't looking, so I stole it.
969
01:05:06,870 --> 01:05:09,998
You said you could only advance
after you hit the ball!
970
01:05:10,082 --> 01:05:12,292
Not when you're stealing.
971
01:05:12,375 --> 01:05:14,002
That's bullshit.
972
01:05:14,086 --> 01:05:15,337
Okay, Short Stop.
973
01:05:33,188 --> 01:05:34,272
He's moving!
974
01:05:36,859 --> 01:05:37,943
Safe!
975
01:05:44,992 --> 01:05:45,993
Gall dang, I don't know.
976
01:05:46,076 --> 01:05:49,079
- That was a tie.
- Yes, and tie goes to the runner!
977
01:05:49,162 --> 01:05:50,748
Why's that?
978
01:05:50,831 --> 01:05:55,168
Because those are the rules
of Stickie McSchnickens, that's why.
979
01:05:58,255 --> 01:05:59,923
All right, it's all mine,
I've got it!
980
01:06:00,007 --> 01:06:03,218
No! No, you can't run.
You cannot run.
981
01:06:03,301 --> 01:06:07,222
Infield fly rule... in full effect.
982
01:06:09,975 --> 01:06:11,018
You're out.
983
01:06:12,895 --> 01:06:14,479
- Here we go, Herm.
- Okay, Herm!
984
01:06:14,562 --> 01:06:15,605
Yeah.
985
01:06:20,819 --> 01:06:21,904
Oh!
986
01:06:21,987 --> 01:06:23,781
Oh, I'm not getting that.
987
01:06:23,864 --> 01:06:24,990
Yeah, bueno!
988
01:06:25,073 --> 01:06:29,077
You can just run all the way home.
A home runner.
989
01:06:30,495 --> 01:06:32,205
I need a cold drink.
990
01:06:32,289 --> 01:06:36,001
Let's take a five-minute stretch
and then start the second half.
991
01:06:36,084 --> 01:06:37,795
Mr. Doubleday, we're done.
992
01:06:37,878 --> 01:06:39,922
But we've only played nine innings.
993
01:06:40,005 --> 01:06:43,759
Nine innings is enough.
Tell us about Dad's biggest score.
994
01:06:43,842 --> 01:06:45,427
Fine.
995
01:06:45,510 --> 01:06:51,892
Your father and his gang knocked off
an entire cavalry regiment, 120 men,
996
01:06:51,975 --> 01:06:54,436
five trunks filled with Yankee money.
997
01:06:55,771 --> 01:06:56,897
Where'd that happen?
998
01:06:56,980 --> 01:06:59,900
Up at Sweet Hog Rock...
999
01:06:59,983 --> 01:07:01,860
100 miles due north.
1000
01:07:01,944 --> 01:07:03,695
You'll know it when you see it.
1001
01:07:03,779 --> 01:07:05,530
Well, fellas,
1002
01:07:05,613 --> 01:07:09,617
looks like we're going to Sweet Hog Rock
to find ourselves a singing windmill.
1003
01:07:09,701 --> 01:07:11,411
But we still need another 10,000 bucks.
1004
01:07:11,494 --> 01:07:13,831
I reckon we'll make a quick stop, then.
1005
01:07:13,914 --> 01:07:15,665
Before you go...
1006
01:07:15,748 --> 01:07:18,710
do you wanna line up and shake hands
and say "good game" to each other?
1007
01:07:19,336 --> 01:07:20,337
No.
1008
01:07:21,797 --> 01:07:23,841
Them boys were nice fellers.
1009
01:07:23,924 --> 01:07:27,219
Paid in cash.
Kept the profanity to a minimum.
1010
01:07:27,302 --> 01:07:31,223
And the Mexican brother knocked
this hard-ass' head off with a shovel?
1011
01:07:31,306 --> 01:07:35,060
Dang thing flew nearly 40 feet!
And still a-smilin'.
1012
01:07:35,143 --> 01:07:36,144
Oh! Man!
1013
01:07:36,228 --> 01:07:38,646
And hasn't stopped yet.
1014
01:07:42,484 --> 01:07:47,405
Oh, hell, no!
My man gluing on heads and shit!
1015
01:07:47,489 --> 01:07:49,992
Wish he'd glue the head back on my pecker.
1016
01:07:50,075 --> 01:07:51,534
What happened to your pecker?
1017
01:07:51,618 --> 01:07:54,872
I was part of another gang
before I joined up with y'all.
1018
01:07:54,955 --> 01:07:56,039
Texas Stubbies.
1019
01:07:56,123 --> 01:07:59,376
Okay,
never mind all that. Okay?
1020
01:07:59,459 --> 01:08:04,089
Now, Doc, you know which way
them there Ridiculous 6 rode off to?
1021
01:08:04,172 --> 01:08:06,758
We're traveling
with a friend of theirs who, uh...
1022
01:08:06,842 --> 01:08:08,927
- will be real excited to see them.
1023
01:08:09,011 --> 01:08:11,388
Well, they headed up north
to the Turquoise Trail.
1024
01:08:12,514 --> 01:08:14,099
I can show you on the map over here.
1025
01:08:16,184 --> 01:08:18,937
Looking forward to seeing
your man beg for his life?
1026
01:08:20,147 --> 01:08:22,357
'Cause that's what's gonna happen,
Smoking Fox.
1027
01:08:22,440 --> 01:08:24,985
Chicken pox!
1028
01:08:25,068 --> 01:08:27,988
We're gaining on his
Injun-loving ass every day.
1029
01:08:28,071 --> 01:08:29,614
He messed with the Left-Eye Gang!
1030
01:08:29,697 --> 01:08:30,866
He's gonna be like,
1031
01:08:30,949 --> 01:08:37,539
"Wait, how did you find me, and where...
How did you get my girl?"
1032
01:08:37,622 --> 01:08:41,751
And then old Dumb Knife's gonna realize
that he's in way over his head.
1033
01:08:44,796 --> 01:08:48,716
See, when George Washington
invented America...
1034
01:09:06,401 --> 01:09:08,070
Excuse me, Sheriff.
1035
01:09:08,153 --> 01:09:09,947
Is there a church in this town?
1036
01:09:10,030 --> 01:09:13,200
This is Rattler's Gulch, you halfwit.
1037
01:09:13,283 --> 01:09:17,037
The meanest, crookedest,
most hellacious town in the West.
1038
01:09:17,120 --> 01:09:20,707
We don't need no preacher telling us
what we can and cannot do.
1039
01:09:20,790 --> 01:09:23,543
So it's all right
if I do this to your wife?
1040
01:09:44,606 --> 01:09:48,360
I can't wait to see all you nice people
when I'm dangling!
1041
01:09:48,443 --> 01:09:49,902
You sick bastard.
1042
01:09:49,987 --> 01:09:51,529
Get this over with.
1043
01:09:51,613 --> 01:09:55,408
You're in for a real treat today.
This is gonna be so much fun.
1044
01:10:04,251 --> 01:10:06,503
I'm just messing with y'all.
I'm fine!
1045
01:10:08,546 --> 01:10:10,423
I call this one Fish Out of Water.
1046
01:10:20,350 --> 01:10:23,936
♪ He flies through the air
with the greatest of ease ♪
1047
01:10:24,021 --> 01:10:27,815
♪ That daring young man
on the flying trapeze ♪
1048
01:10:27,899 --> 01:10:29,484
Yeah!
1049
01:10:36,408 --> 01:10:37,450
Yeah!
1050
01:10:38,076 --> 01:10:40,745
Herm, put the hookers back.
1051
01:10:42,497 --> 01:10:43,873
Come on!
1052
01:10:47,377 --> 01:10:51,173
Yeah, you can't catch me!
1053
01:10:54,134 --> 01:10:57,137
He ain't dying, Billy!
He's making a fool of you!
1054
01:10:57,220 --> 01:10:58,763
Whoo-hoo!
1055
01:10:58,846 --> 01:10:59,847
All right, that's it!
1056
01:10:59,931 --> 01:11:01,724
We'll shoot the son of a bitch!
1057
01:11:01,808 --> 01:11:03,435
- On my command!
1058
01:11:03,518 --> 01:11:05,603
- Ready...
1059
01:11:05,687 --> 01:11:06,979
Aim...
1060
01:11:07,564 --> 01:11:09,357
Fire!
1061
01:11:15,822 --> 01:11:19,076
Wind took him, Tommy.
Came damn close.
1062
01:11:19,159 --> 01:11:21,369
I'm okay!
1063
01:11:21,453 --> 01:11:23,663
Come on, Billy!
Get him!
1064
01:11:23,746 --> 01:11:25,290
We did it!
1065
01:11:28,168 --> 01:11:31,421
I told ya
I got a strong neck!
1066
01:11:33,340 --> 01:11:34,757
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
1067
01:11:34,841 --> 01:11:36,593
♪ Won't be so sad ♪
1068
01:11:36,676 --> 01:11:38,511
♪ Yippie-yo-yo-yea ♪
1069
01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:40,805
♪ We're gonna save Dad ♪
1070
01:11:44,851 --> 01:11:47,729
We still gotta get to Sweet Hog Rock
before they do.
1071
01:11:47,812 --> 01:11:50,315
Gotta find that singing windmill,
so it ain't over yet.
1072
01:11:50,398 --> 01:11:51,608
We got the money!
1073
01:11:51,691 --> 01:11:54,777
- The Ridiculous 6 got all the money!
- Yeah!
1074
01:11:54,861 --> 01:11:55,945
Yeah!
1075
01:11:58,240 --> 01:12:01,284
Tommy! Tommy! What's Dad like?
Is he funny?
1076
01:12:01,368 --> 01:12:02,952
Yeah, is he a good listener?
1077
01:12:03,035 --> 01:12:04,454
Is he strong?
1078
01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:12,337
All great questions.
I'll tell you this.
1079
01:12:12,420 --> 01:12:14,339
I think you guys are gonna love him.
1080
01:12:15,382 --> 01:12:18,426
But I'm sure he's gonna love you guys.
1081
01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:23,473
So sorry to interrupt
such a tender moment.
1082
01:12:23,556 --> 01:12:26,643
Looks like we stumbled
on bath day, boys!
1083
01:12:28,395 --> 01:12:31,022
I heard you picked up some brothers
along the way, tough guy.
1084
01:12:31,106 --> 01:12:33,108
But I don't see no resemblance.
1085
01:12:33,191 --> 01:12:36,778
- I do, they all look like my butthole.
1086
01:12:40,031 --> 01:12:41,949
So guess what time it is, boys?
1087
01:12:42,033 --> 01:12:43,326
Payback time!
1088
01:12:43,410 --> 01:12:46,788
Any last words,
No Knife?
1089
01:12:53,795 --> 01:12:55,255
I told ya I could hold my breath good.
1090
01:12:55,338 --> 01:12:56,548
Yeah, Danny boy!
1091
01:12:56,631 --> 01:12:59,342
What are you doing, man?
We gotta go!
1092
01:13:01,969 --> 01:13:04,389
- Oh, jackpot, boys!
- No!
1093
01:13:05,598 --> 01:13:07,392
- That's ours!
- Hyah!
1094
01:13:11,563 --> 01:13:12,689
Rusty!
1095
01:13:12,772 --> 01:13:15,107
Rusty, no, come back!
1096
01:13:15,192 --> 01:13:16,234
No.
1097
01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:32,167
How are we gonna save him?
We're startin' all over.
1098
01:13:32,250 --> 01:13:34,586
Is there any more good places
we can rob?
1099
01:13:34,669 --> 01:13:38,381
You know like a burro-grooming place
or a shoe store for burros?
1100
01:13:39,048 --> 01:13:41,801
Half the lawmen in the West
are already looking for us.
1101
01:13:41,884 --> 01:13:44,554
So what?
Look, we can't stop.
1102
01:13:44,637 --> 01:13:45,888
They're going to kill him!
1103
01:13:45,972 --> 01:13:48,350
Ain't no difference.
He's dying anyways.
1104
01:13:52,395 --> 01:13:54,063
Dad's sick.
1105
01:13:55,232 --> 01:13:56,858
I'm sorry I didn't tell y'all.
1106
01:13:57,734 --> 01:14:00,195
There's a good chance
he's dead already.
1107
01:14:03,030 --> 01:14:06,909
But there's a chance he's not.
You got to meet him, Tommy.
1108
01:14:06,993 --> 01:14:08,911
The rest of us...
1109
01:14:08,995 --> 01:14:11,498
Even if it was just for five minutes,
it'd be worth it.
1110
01:14:11,581 --> 01:14:17,379
If I don't talk to Dad, I'll die with this
dirty secret burnin' a hole in my guts.
1111
01:14:17,462 --> 01:14:22,133
Danito, whatever it is you did,
you have to forgive yourself, man.
1112
01:14:22,217 --> 01:14:24,552
You wouldn't say that if you know
what I done.
1113
01:14:24,636 --> 01:14:27,096
- Everybody's got secrets, Danny.
- Yeah.
1114
01:14:27,179 --> 01:14:29,557
You guys are the first people
I told I was black.
1115
01:14:29,641 --> 01:14:32,101
You know how good that made me feel?
1116
01:14:32,184 --> 01:14:34,271
We're your brothers.
1117
01:14:34,354 --> 01:14:36,356
You can tell us anything.
1118
01:14:38,107 --> 01:14:39,234
I, uh...
1119
01:14:42,570 --> 01:14:45,323
I used to work
for the President of the United States.
1120
01:14:47,116 --> 01:14:49,118
I was his personal bodyguard.
1121
01:14:50,119 --> 01:14:51,371
One of the best.
1122
01:14:52,289 --> 01:14:54,165
Till one night...
1123
01:14:59,211 --> 01:15:02,465
Mr. President, say, I'm gonna go
hit the little boys' room.
1124
01:15:02,549 --> 01:15:04,801
Are you shitting me?
1125
01:15:04,884 --> 01:15:07,136
Come on!
You'll be fine, superstar.
1126
01:15:07,219 --> 01:15:10,473
Can I get ya something on the way back?
Agua? Brewski?
1127
01:15:10,557 --> 01:15:11,683
No!
1128
01:15:11,766 --> 01:15:14,977
Mrs. Lincoln, how about one of them
big pretzels or a little pillow?
1129
01:15:15,061 --> 01:15:16,979
I hear this play's kind of a long one.
1130
01:15:18,105 --> 01:15:20,608
All right, fair enough.
I'll be back in two.
1131
01:15:27,740 --> 01:15:29,576
Where's the president's box?
1132
01:15:29,659 --> 01:15:32,287
- John Wilkes Booth, the actor?
- Yeah.
1133
01:15:32,370 --> 01:15:35,122
No way, man! Big fan!
1134
01:15:35,206 --> 01:15:37,041
- You wanna say hi to the president?
- Yeah.
1135
01:15:37,124 --> 01:15:39,752
He'd get a real kick out of that.
Last door on the left.
1136
01:15:39,836 --> 01:15:41,838
- Thank you.
- Really cool.
1137
01:15:41,921 --> 01:15:44,341
Wow! Love that guy!
1138
01:15:49,846 --> 01:15:53,850
Abe!
1139
01:15:58,229 --> 01:16:02,734
How can you go on living your life
knowing you harmed so many people?
1140
01:16:02,817 --> 01:16:04,652
That's what I wanna ask Dad.
1141
01:16:04,736 --> 01:16:08,114
Hey, you ain't the one
who pulled that trigger.
1142
01:16:08,197 --> 01:16:11,158
But if Dad's gotta be
the one who tells you that...
1143
01:16:13,328 --> 01:16:15,079
then let's go get that money.
1144
01:16:15,162 --> 01:16:17,665
I just wish I knew how.
1145
01:16:21,293 --> 01:16:22,545
Herm's got an idea.
1146
01:16:23,921 --> 01:16:25,340
He just can't express it.
1147
01:16:26,966 --> 01:16:29,051
I just wish somebody here
could speak Herm.
1148
01:16:35,725 --> 01:16:38,019
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.
1149
01:16:38,102 --> 01:16:42,649
That's when Ezekiel Grant has his annual
high-stakes poker game.
1150
01:16:42,732 --> 01:16:46,486
There'll be oodles of money there.
Oodles, I say.
1151
01:16:46,569 --> 01:16:48,029
Ooh.
1152
01:16:48,112 --> 01:16:51,115
- I don't know. That sounds risky.
- What's risky?
1153
01:16:51,198 --> 01:16:55,412
He's suggesting we...
knock off Ezekiel Grant's poker game.
1154
01:16:55,495 --> 01:16:56,746
- It's in Yuma tomorrow night.
1155
01:16:56,829 --> 01:16:59,081
Yuma's less than a day's walk from here.
1156
01:16:59,165 --> 01:17:02,919
That poker game, there's practically
gonna be an army protectin' it.
1157
01:17:03,002 --> 01:17:07,173
If Tommy says we can beat 'em,
I'll believe him.
1158
01:17:07,256 --> 01:17:10,217
- We all will.
1159
01:17:12,470 --> 01:17:13,805
We can beat 'em...
1160
01:17:15,139 --> 01:17:16,223
for Dad.
1161
01:17:16,307 --> 01:17:17,934
For Dad!
1162
01:17:32,949 --> 01:17:36,911
I hope you like the gift I'm giving you
for Valentine's Day, Ezekiel.
1163
01:17:36,994 --> 01:17:41,332
I'll give you a hint.
One-hour massage, no charge.
1164
01:17:41,416 --> 01:17:43,710
Oh, Susannah.
1165
01:17:43,793 --> 01:17:45,670
You know what gift I'd really love?
1166
01:17:45,753 --> 01:17:48,423
If you would just shut up!
1167
01:17:49,048 --> 01:17:51,843
Nothing ruins a good poker game more...
1168
01:17:51,926 --> 01:17:55,722
than a lady jabbering on and on...
1169
01:17:55,805 --> 01:17:58,015
- How romantic.
1170
01:18:00,935 --> 01:18:01,936
- Hello!
- Hello!
1171
01:18:02,019 --> 01:18:04,396
Well, General Custer!
1172
01:18:04,481 --> 01:18:05,815
Yes, at your service.
1173
01:18:05,898 --> 01:18:07,442
Mr. Mark Twain.
1174
01:18:07,525 --> 01:18:09,569
- Word up!
- Gentlemen, do come in.
1175
01:18:09,652 --> 01:18:14,240
Yo, Zeke, big boy, I was just going off
to the General here about my new book.
1176
01:18:14,323 --> 01:18:16,534
- It's a sequel to Tom Sawyer.
- Ooh.
1177
01:18:16,618 --> 01:18:19,496
It's about Sawyer's home slice,
Huckleberry Finn.
1178
01:18:19,579 --> 01:18:23,415
White boy goes raftin' with a brother.
People gonna lose their shit!
1179
01:18:24,584 --> 01:18:28,838
And, General Custer, I see you've let
your dashing blond hair grow out.
1180
01:18:28,921 --> 01:18:32,091
Well, yes, the barber down at
the regiment is just awful,
1181
01:18:32,174 --> 01:18:35,845
so I had two choices,
either let it grow or get scalped.
1182
01:18:35,928 --> 01:18:38,640
- And I ain't gonna let that happen.
1183
01:18:38,723 --> 01:18:41,601
Now, will our old friend
from Tombstone be joining us?
1184
01:18:41,684 --> 01:18:42,727
Late as usual.
1185
01:18:42,810 --> 01:18:48,190
But we have a new player,
a wealthy Mexican coffee bean rancher.
1186
01:18:48,274 --> 01:18:49,358
Am I tardy-o?
1187
01:18:49,441 --> 01:18:52,403
Oh. Sneaky little Mexican.
1188
01:18:53,738 --> 01:18:55,865
May I present Don Don Diego.
1189
01:18:58,743 --> 01:19:01,453
We run a gentleman's game here, Mr. Diego.
1190
01:19:01,538 --> 01:19:05,082
Your, uh, two bodyguards
are completely unnecessary.
1191
01:19:05,166 --> 01:19:07,001
Bodyguards?
1192
01:19:08,002 --> 01:19:09,629
You're mistaken, General.
1193
01:19:09,712 --> 01:19:11,631
This is, um...
1194
01:19:11,714 --> 01:19:15,760
Chimichanga... my loyal manservant.
1195
01:19:17,554 --> 01:19:18,596
God bless you.
1196
01:19:19,180 --> 01:19:20,181
And, um...
1197
01:19:22,224 --> 01:19:23,893
Blanco Beardio.
1198
01:19:25,061 --> 01:19:28,022
He'll be providing the entertainment
for this afternoon's festivities.
1199
01:19:28,105 --> 01:19:29,607
Well, drop me a beat.
1200
01:19:35,613 --> 01:19:36,614
Okay.
1201
01:19:38,324 --> 01:19:39,366
All right.
1202
01:19:41,410 --> 01:19:42,954
Here we go now.
1203
01:19:49,586 --> 01:19:52,922
Gentlemen, the buy-in is $15,000.
1204
01:19:53,005 --> 01:19:54,423
Fifteen large?
1205
01:19:54,506 --> 01:19:56,258
Are you sure General Custard
can swing that?
1206
01:19:56,342 --> 01:20:00,805
It's Custer, not "Custard."
There is no "D." I'm not a dessert.
1207
01:20:00,888 --> 01:20:03,725
Boom, I just dropped some satire
on your ass, General!
1208
01:20:05,351 --> 01:20:06,393
You got me!
1209
01:20:07,937 --> 01:20:10,522
Hey! Now, when Ramon gives
the signal that the time is right,
1210
01:20:10,607 --> 01:20:12,024
that's when we move in.
1211
01:20:12,108 --> 01:20:13,568
You remember the signal, right?
1212
01:20:19,490 --> 01:20:21,868
- Gentlemen.
- You know where to go, Marshal.
1213
01:20:22,451 --> 01:20:23,911
Oh, hell, no!
1214
01:20:23,995 --> 01:20:25,830
That's Wyatt Earp!
1215
01:20:25,913 --> 01:20:28,249
The fastest gun in the West?
1216
01:20:30,877 --> 01:20:32,253
All right, all right, all right!
1217
01:20:32,336 --> 01:20:35,715
- Oh, Wyatt Earp, as I live and breathe!
- Wyatt Earp.
1218
01:20:35,798 --> 01:20:37,508
- You're here!
- Wyatt Earp.
1219
01:20:37,592 --> 01:20:39,010
Sorry I'm late, everybody.
1220
01:20:39,093 --> 01:20:43,305
But apparently, there's some new gang
out there robbing everybody blind.
1221
01:20:43,389 --> 01:20:45,099
Oh, they call themselves
the Ridiculous 6.
1222
01:20:45,182 --> 01:20:48,728
I swear, a man can't ride
five miles in this territory
1223
01:20:48,811 --> 01:20:52,273
without running into outlaws,
rattlesnakes, Injuns and-
1224
01:20:52,356 --> 01:20:55,234
Hey! Why don't you let me
worry about the Injuns?
1225
01:20:55,317 --> 01:20:57,569
- Will do, General.
1226
01:21:00,114 --> 01:21:01,323
What's shakin', Twain?
1227
01:21:01,407 --> 01:21:03,993
Hey, I'm good on anything.
Just like gravy, baby.
1228
01:21:04,076 --> 01:21:05,870
- Good to see you, my man.
- You too, man.
1229
01:21:05,953 --> 01:21:08,623
Hey! I finally read Prince and the Pauper.
1230
01:21:08,706 --> 01:21:09,957
Oh, is that right?
1231
01:21:10,041 --> 01:21:11,292
Didn't get it.
1232
01:21:12,293 --> 01:21:13,377
For reals?
1233
01:21:14,503 --> 01:21:17,381
- Satire! Boom! I got ya!
1234
01:21:17,464 --> 01:21:20,384
- I'm just pulling your leg.
- Oh, man.
1235
01:21:20,467 --> 01:21:21,928
I can't read.
1236
01:21:24,972 --> 01:21:27,141
Good one with the... satire.
1237
01:21:27,224 --> 01:21:28,976
Funny.
1238
01:21:31,270 --> 01:21:32,313
Who's this idiot?
1239
01:21:34,565 --> 01:21:36,859
Um... I am Don...
1240
01:21:36,943 --> 01:21:38,569
Don Don Diego.
1241
01:21:39,904 --> 01:21:41,906
Well, Don, I'm Wyatt...
1242
01:21:41,989 --> 01:21:43,199
Wyatt Wyatt Earp.
1243
01:21:48,204 --> 01:21:49,872
Got him.
1244
01:21:49,956 --> 01:21:54,669
Now let's play
some cards!
1245
01:22:01,217 --> 01:22:03,052
♪ Say, say Tom Sawyer ♪
1246
01:22:03,135 --> 01:22:04,178
♪ Tom Sawyer ♪
1247
01:22:04,261 --> 01:22:05,262
♪ Say Tom Sawyer ♪
1248
01:22:05,346 --> 01:22:06,806
♪ Tom Sawyer ♪
1249
01:22:06,889 --> 01:22:08,975
♪ Say the blacks and the whites
are getting along ♪
1250
01:22:09,058 --> 01:22:10,977
♪ The blacks and the whites
are getting along ♪
1251
01:22:11,060 --> 01:22:13,437
♪ I can't read ♪
1252
01:22:14,772 --> 01:22:16,691
- Please calm yourself!
1253
01:22:17,817 --> 01:22:21,112
Let's get inside before this Wyatt Earp
ruins our plan.
1254
01:22:21,195 --> 01:22:23,614
But there's no way for you to sneak
past them guys, Tommy.
1255
01:22:23,698 --> 01:22:26,951
There's no rocks, no trees,
no nothing to hide behind.
1256
01:22:27,034 --> 01:22:31,497
No need to hide, brother,
when you are friends with the wind.
1257
01:22:31,580 --> 01:22:34,291
I'm telling you, down there,
they don't call it "Mexico."
1258
01:22:34,375 --> 01:22:39,505
It's "Mehico." The "X" is an "H."
I'm presuming Texas is "Tehas."
1259
01:22:41,257 --> 01:22:43,384
Now, what's this?
1260
01:22:43,467 --> 01:22:46,012
Just a tumbleweed,
you jumpy bastard.
1261
01:23:02,319 --> 01:23:05,156
That is some mystical shit.
1262
01:23:08,951 --> 01:23:12,997
I wish to move the dresser
in my bedroom closer to the window,
1263
01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:16,333
but I haven't the strength
to do it myself.
1264
01:23:16,417 --> 01:23:20,171
I'd love to help, ma'am, but I really
should keep playing the piano.
1265
01:23:21,756 --> 01:23:25,009
- No one will even know you're gone.
1266
01:23:30,264 --> 01:23:33,100
- Gentlemen, cough up your buy-ins.
- All right!
1267
01:23:33,184 --> 01:23:34,476
Make it rain like Twain.
1268
01:23:34,560 --> 01:23:36,270
- Take that and that.
- Yeah!
1269
01:23:36,353 --> 01:23:39,565
Sure is some good hooch there, Zeke.
Where'd you find that?
1270
01:23:39,648 --> 01:23:44,111
Oh, I got that from a case
about, uh, 20 years ago.
1271
01:23:44,195 --> 01:23:47,656
In fact, uh, you know that shack
up by Jawbone Falls?
1272
01:23:47,739 --> 01:23:50,284
- Yeah.
- There was a lady living there.
1273
01:23:50,367 --> 01:23:52,954
It was one of Frank Stockburn's
many paramours.
1274
01:23:53,037 --> 01:23:57,708
Now this was one of the ugliest ladies
I've ever seen in my life.
1275
01:23:57,792 --> 01:23:59,751
Sounds like a real bucket of turds.
1276
01:23:59,836 --> 01:24:03,923
But she was a very talented
distiller of alcohol.
1277
01:24:04,006 --> 01:24:06,425
So, while she-
1278
01:24:06,508 --> 01:24:09,887
While she's loading up my coach,
her young boy comes out,
1279
01:24:09,971 --> 01:24:15,517
this big shambling oaf,
mute, filthy as a hog,
1280
01:24:15,601 --> 01:24:19,021
and he starts doing
this horrible little tap dance
1281
01:24:19,105 --> 01:24:22,066
whilst singing "The Star-Spangled Banner."
1282
01:24:22,149 --> 01:24:25,444
Well, not singing it, really,
but grunting it, like a caveman!
1283
01:24:25,527 --> 01:24:28,572
♪ Oh, say can you see ♪
1284
01:24:30,449 --> 01:24:32,118
You know,
he wants me to throw him some pennies,
1285
01:24:32,201 --> 01:24:34,161
so I fished a coin out of my pocket
1286
01:24:34,245 --> 01:24:36,247
and I guess I don't know my own strength.
1287
01:24:36,330 --> 01:24:39,959
I tossed it, hit him in the mouth,
and knocked his tooth out!
1288
01:24:42,294 --> 01:24:43,712
What an asshole!
1289
01:24:45,297 --> 01:24:46,298
Mama.
1290
01:24:46,924 --> 01:24:51,137
In any event, I still have
one bottle left from that case.
1291
01:24:51,220 --> 01:24:55,850
I'll go fetch it and we can drink a toast
to that awful woman and her hideous son.
1292
01:24:57,268 --> 01:25:00,479
Oh, she was ugly!
You wouldn't even sleep with her.
1293
01:25:04,650 --> 01:25:07,528
Say, Don Don Diego...
1294
01:25:07,611 --> 01:25:08,905
where's your buy-in?
1295
01:25:08,988 --> 01:25:10,781
I thought it was 15 grand a man.
1296
01:25:10,865 --> 01:25:12,033
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1297
01:25:12,116 --> 01:25:13,325
Uh...
1298
01:25:22,376 --> 01:25:24,045
Let's see. Ah!
1299
01:25:37,892 --> 01:25:38,893
It's you!
1300
01:25:38,976 --> 01:25:40,102
Uh-huh.
1301
01:25:50,112 --> 01:25:51,280
What?
1302
01:25:51,989 --> 01:25:53,908
What "what"?
1303
01:25:53,991 --> 01:25:55,867
What are you so surprised about?
1304
01:25:55,952 --> 01:26:00,706
Just so surprised at all the...
the fun that we're having here,
1305
01:26:00,789 --> 01:26:03,084
with the card and the money
and the booze and...
1306
01:26:05,252 --> 01:26:08,339
You know, I make that same face when
I put my cologne on in the morning,
1307
01:26:08,422 --> 01:26:10,507
especially when I'm home alone.
1308
01:26:10,591 --> 01:26:11,842
You know what I think?
1309
01:26:11,926 --> 01:26:15,637
I think Don Don Diego isn't really
a coffee bean rancher at all.
1310
01:26:15,721 --> 01:26:19,391
And his true purpose here is to rob us.
1311
01:26:21,685 --> 01:26:24,396
Don't make me kill you, Mr. Earp.
1312
01:26:24,480 --> 01:26:26,148
Hands up high.
1313
01:26:26,232 --> 01:26:29,193
Oh, snap!
You got the drop on Wyatt Earp?
1314
01:26:29,276 --> 01:26:32,821
It's mi hermano.
He's one bad hombre.
1315
01:26:36,075 --> 01:26:37,493
No disrespect, fellas.
1316
01:26:37,576 --> 01:26:40,955
We're gonna have to tie you up,
and we'll have to borrow your horses.
1317
01:26:42,164 --> 01:26:43,790
Ooh, what'd I miss?
1318
01:26:45,417 --> 01:26:48,462
Sweet Hog Rock,
here we come!
1319
01:26:51,882 --> 01:26:54,051
Giddy up, Burro.
1320
01:26:54,135 --> 01:26:55,344
Come on, Ramon!
1321
01:27:09,191 --> 01:27:10,817
Right behind you, Tommy!
1322
01:27:11,818 --> 01:27:14,321
Hurry up, Burro!
Move your ass!
1323
01:27:20,369 --> 01:27:22,204
- Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
1324
01:27:25,124 --> 01:27:27,168
Yeah, I think we found it.
1325
01:27:27,251 --> 01:27:31,380
That is one sweet hog right there.
1326
01:27:31,463 --> 01:27:35,176
That is a sweet, majestic hog.
1327
01:27:35,259 --> 01:27:37,594
Yeah, that's a sweet one for sure.
1328
01:27:38,554 --> 01:27:39,680
It's all right.
1329
01:27:41,348 --> 01:27:45,352
I'm confused.
I don't see a hog or a pig anywhere.
1330
01:27:45,436 --> 01:27:49,023
All I see is the big old rock
that looks like a weenie pee-pee.
1331
01:27:53,319 --> 01:27:56,072
- Oh, you guys call a pee-pee a "hog."
- Yeah.
1332
01:27:56,155 --> 01:27:58,949
- That's weird. I like it, though.
- Yeah. Okay.
1333
01:27:59,033 --> 01:28:01,743
Problem is, I don't see
no singing windmill anywhere.
1334
01:28:01,827 --> 01:28:03,704
- Wait...
1335
01:28:03,787 --> 01:28:04,871
I hear it.
1336
01:28:06,123 --> 01:28:07,791
Yeah, it's coming from over there.
1337
01:28:07,874 --> 01:28:10,961
Ah! Daddy! Daddy!
1338
01:28:11,628 --> 01:28:13,797
Daddy!
Huh?
1339
01:28:13,880 --> 01:28:14,965
Whoa...
1340
01:28:16,092 --> 01:28:19,095
We're saved! We're saved!
1341
01:28:20,721 --> 01:28:24,225
Oh, it's just these assholes.
1342
01:28:24,308 --> 01:28:26,017
What the hell happened to you guys?
1343
01:28:26,102 --> 01:28:32,483
We was headed west to Frisco
after we absconded with your loot.
1344
01:28:34,568 --> 01:28:37,113
But we ran into these real bad characters.
1345
01:28:37,196 --> 01:28:40,824
It was Cicero something
and his crazy-ass gang.
1346
01:28:42,076 --> 01:28:44,620
Cicero was here?
Then he left?
1347
01:28:44,703 --> 01:28:48,374
He left us in the dirt for fun.
1348
01:28:48,457 --> 01:28:50,000
- Ow! Ow, ow!
1349
01:28:50,709 --> 01:28:51,752
Who does that?
1350
01:28:51,835 --> 01:28:54,171
Sicko!
1351
01:28:55,881 --> 01:28:59,093
If this is where the singing windmill is,
then why would they just up and leave?
1352
01:28:59,176 --> 01:29:02,596
Maybe that Stickie McSchnickens guy
was just pulling our leg.
1353
01:29:02,679 --> 01:29:05,891
They went north...
about two hours ago.
1354
01:29:05,974 --> 01:29:07,184
Oh, yeah! Tommy can track 'em.
1355
01:29:07,268 --> 01:29:09,186
Let's saddle up.
We're burning daylight.
1356
01:29:09,270 --> 01:29:10,312
Wait!
1357
01:29:10,396 --> 01:29:12,856
You can't just leave us here,
you gotta get us out!
1358
01:29:12,939 --> 01:29:14,400
- You don't need to- Hey, hey, hey!
1359
01:29:14,483 --> 01:29:15,651
We still got the money!
1360
01:29:15,734 --> 01:29:18,654
Yeah, I hid it in my pants.
We'll give it back to ya!
1361
01:29:18,737 --> 01:29:20,197
We don't need no more.
Let's go!
1362
01:29:22,283 --> 01:29:24,826
Hey! Can you at least
help me pick these ants
1363
01:29:24,910 --> 01:29:27,538
out of my beard before you head out?
1364
01:29:27,621 --> 01:29:28,872
Please?
1365
01:29:28,955 --> 01:29:31,458
Tell you what,
we'll dig you up on one condition.
1366
01:29:31,542 --> 01:29:33,877
- You say it, we'll do it!
1367
01:29:33,960 --> 01:29:36,297
That you give up your lives of crime
1368
01:29:36,380 --> 01:29:39,675
and take this second chance to start
doing good by people.
1369
01:29:39,758 --> 01:29:42,135
- I'd rather die!
- Hell, no! I ain't doing that!
1370
01:29:42,219 --> 01:29:44,596
No way! Dumb Indian half!
1371
01:29:45,556 --> 01:29:46,890
That was a joke!
That was a joke!
1372
01:29:46,973 --> 01:29:49,268
I'll be a good boy!
I'll be a good boy, Daddy!
1373
01:29:57,693 --> 01:29:59,695
Now what?
East or west?
1374
01:29:59,778 --> 01:30:00,862
Whoa.
1375
01:30:13,417 --> 01:30:15,377
Late in the day.
1376
01:30:15,461 --> 01:30:18,046
Lot of traffic been going through here.
1377
01:30:18,129 --> 01:30:19,715
It's going to take a minute.
1378
01:30:19,798 --> 01:30:22,843
Well, we must be getting mighty close.
1379
01:30:22,926 --> 01:30:26,012
They'd better be treating Dad well,
or they're gonna have to answer to us.
1380
01:30:26,096 --> 01:30:27,848
There he is.
1381
01:30:27,931 --> 01:30:29,225
- There's the man himself.
1382
01:30:29,308 --> 01:30:31,184
- Look at that handsome hombre.
- Yeah.
1383
01:30:31,268 --> 01:30:33,395
- That's where we get our good looks.
1384
01:30:33,479 --> 01:30:35,647
Let me see ol' Pop.
1385
01:30:48,244 --> 01:30:50,287
Does he still
look like that, Tommy?
1386
01:30:51,372 --> 01:30:52,456
Tommy?
1387
01:30:53,415 --> 01:30:54,916
Yeah, he does.
1388
01:30:56,084 --> 01:30:58,712
Let's set up camp tonight.
Right out there.
1389
01:30:58,795 --> 01:31:00,130
But we can't waste any time.
1390
01:31:00,213 --> 01:31:03,384
Chico... I can't figure it out right now.
1391
01:31:03,467 --> 01:31:04,635
I gotta...
1392
01:31:04,718 --> 01:31:06,720
Just give me till sunrise.
Let me think.
1393
01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:37,959
Dear brothers,
1394
01:31:38,043 --> 01:31:42,339
by the time you read this,
I will have caught up with Dad.
1395
01:31:42,423 --> 01:31:46,217
And I'm sure you're sore at me
for sneaking out on you.
1396
01:31:46,302 --> 01:31:52,057
But this fellow, Cicero, who took Pa,
also took my mother's life,
1397
01:31:52,140 --> 01:31:55,185
and I mean to make him pay for that.
1398
01:31:55,268 --> 01:31:57,228
Things might get messy.
1399
01:31:57,313 --> 01:32:00,524
I can live
with all the bad stuff we've done,
1400
01:32:00,607 --> 01:32:06,071
the hold-ups, the burglaries,
the accidental decapitation,
1401
01:32:06,154 --> 01:32:10,534
but I couldn't live with myself
if something happened to one of you.
1402
01:32:10,617 --> 01:32:15,789
So stay put and I'll be back with Dad
as soon as I can.
1403
01:32:15,872 --> 01:32:17,749
And if I don't come back,
1404
01:32:17,833 --> 01:32:21,962
know that I love you boys
with all my heart.
1405
01:32:22,045 --> 01:32:24,548
Your brother, Tommy.
1406
01:32:39,187 --> 01:32:40,522
Whoa.
1407
01:32:49,615 --> 01:32:51,658
Down at Silver Canyon...
1408
01:32:51,742 --> 01:32:54,202
Meeting Betty Dunson...
1409
01:32:54,285 --> 01:32:57,498
was the luckiest thing
that ever happened to me.
1410
01:32:59,666 --> 01:33:01,710
Mom was his biggest score.
1411
01:33:03,379 --> 01:33:04,380
Hyah.
1412
01:33:12,471 --> 01:33:13,472
Here we are.
1413
01:33:13,555 --> 01:33:15,849
We'd better not have come
all this way for nothing.
1414
01:33:15,932 --> 01:33:18,852
- I want the money, Frank.
- I know what you want.
1415
01:33:19,811 --> 01:33:21,605
There's your money.
1416
01:33:21,688 --> 01:33:22,856
Count it.
1417
01:33:22,939 --> 01:33:24,691
Tommy!
1418
01:33:24,775 --> 01:33:26,067
Oh, look who showed up.
1419
01:33:26,151 --> 01:33:29,571
I didn't know if somebody
dug up what you buried, Pa,
1420
01:33:29,655 --> 01:33:32,240
so I wanted to make sure
you were covered either way.
1421
01:33:32,323 --> 01:33:34,159
Thank you, son.
1422
01:33:34,242 --> 01:33:35,952
Well, ain't that a good boy.
1423
01:33:36,036 --> 01:33:37,663
That's my boy.
1424
01:33:37,746 --> 01:33:40,165
Well, it's been a pleasure, Frank.
1425
01:33:40,248 --> 01:33:42,000
But, uh...
1426
01:33:42,083 --> 01:33:43,334
we'll be on our way.
1427
01:33:43,419 --> 01:33:45,170
Not so fast.
1428
01:33:45,253 --> 01:33:48,298
You and me got some unfinished business.
1429
01:33:48,381 --> 01:33:50,592
No, our business is done.
1430
01:33:50,676 --> 01:33:54,430
Pa... you remember how I told you Ma died?
1431
01:33:54,513 --> 01:33:55,514
Yeah.
1432
01:33:55,597 --> 01:33:59,350
Well, the son of a bitch who shot her...
1433
01:33:59,435 --> 01:34:01,562
had a tattoo on his hand...
1434
01:34:03,730 --> 01:34:05,774
just like Cicero here.
1435
01:34:06,692 --> 01:34:08,944
What, you mean...
1436
01:34:09,027 --> 01:34:10,737
my little horseshoe?
1437
01:34:10,821 --> 01:34:13,031
That's always brought me luck.
1438
01:34:13,615 --> 01:34:16,076
Especially when I was shooting somebody.
1439
01:34:16,159 --> 01:34:19,370
Well, killer, your luck just ran out.
1440
01:34:20,539 --> 01:34:23,083
Your hand touch that knife, boy,
1441
01:34:23,166 --> 01:34:25,544
it'll be the last thing you ever touch.
1442
01:34:25,627 --> 01:34:27,963
Oh, I ain't using these knives.
1443
01:34:28,839 --> 01:34:30,716
No.
1444
01:34:30,799 --> 01:34:33,009
Not for my mama.
1445
01:34:33,093 --> 01:34:37,263
I saved a special one just for you.
1446
01:34:51,612 --> 01:34:53,780
Now you die, Injun-lover.
1447
01:34:56,908 --> 01:34:58,869
He dies, you die.
1448
01:35:01,580 --> 01:35:05,584
Fourteen of us, six of you.
Doesn't seem quite fair, does it?
1449
01:35:05,667 --> 01:35:08,003
Make that twelve of us.
1450
01:35:12,674 --> 01:35:13,675
Twelve of us!
1451
01:35:18,179 --> 01:35:20,557
I ain't sign up for this shit.
1452
01:35:53,214 --> 01:35:54,424
You seeing this?
1453
01:35:54,507 --> 01:35:56,134
- It's not working.
- What are you doing?
1454
01:35:56,217 --> 01:35:58,094
Don't look like a tumbleweed at all, Herm.
1455
01:35:58,178 --> 01:35:59,512
Herm, come back!
Come back, Herm.
1456
01:36:00,972 --> 01:36:03,767
All right, all right.
Now, everybody just calm down.
1457
01:36:03,850 --> 01:36:07,979
A man's entitled...
to kill his mother's killer.
1458
01:36:08,063 --> 01:36:13,735
Plus... that's one less guy
you've got to split the money with!
1459
01:36:13,819 --> 01:36:16,572
Good thinking, Frank.
Let's ride!
1460
01:36:16,655 --> 01:36:18,907
- Yeah!
- Yeah, get on out of here!
1461
01:36:21,618 --> 01:36:25,706
Good job, son.
I'm really proud of you.
1462
01:36:25,789 --> 01:36:29,793
And getting your friends to come
all the way out here with you, brilliant.
1463
01:36:29,876 --> 01:36:34,840
Well, sir...
they ain't just my friends, they, uh...
1464
01:36:34,923 --> 01:36:35,966
They're my brothers.
1465
01:36:42,889 --> 01:36:44,140
Five?
1466
01:36:44,224 --> 01:36:46,309
You had fun, didn't you, sir?
1467
01:36:48,895 --> 01:36:51,898
Well, I'm gonna introduce myself.
1468
01:36:51,982 --> 01:36:54,150
- I think they'd like that.
1469
01:36:59,280 --> 01:37:02,909
Frank Stockburn, your dad.
1470
01:37:04,911 --> 01:37:08,039
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
1471
01:37:08,123 --> 01:37:09,916
- Father.
- Son.
1472
01:37:12,210 --> 01:37:14,254
This is my burro.
1473
01:37:14,337 --> 01:37:16,339
Proud to know you, Burro.
1474
01:37:18,258 --> 01:37:19,550
He's proud.
1475
01:37:19,635 --> 01:37:22,971
You must be, uh,
Saint Louis, right?
1476
01:37:23,054 --> 01:37:24,305
Chico.
1477
01:37:24,389 --> 01:37:27,558
Boy, you got your mom's muscles.
1478
01:37:28,810 --> 01:37:30,228
You a prizefighter?
1479
01:37:31,604 --> 01:37:34,565
No, actually, I'm a...
piano player.
1480
01:37:34,650 --> 01:37:36,276
Oh, well, I'll be!
1481
01:37:36,359 --> 01:37:40,196
You know, I've been known
to tickle the ivories myself.
1482
01:37:40,280 --> 01:37:42,282
Now and then, you know.
1483
01:37:42,365 --> 01:37:44,617
We should play together sometime.
1484
01:37:46,536 --> 01:37:48,371
I'd like that, Dad.
1485
01:37:48,454 --> 01:37:50,290
I'd like that a lot.
1486
01:37:50,373 --> 01:37:51,958
Yeah, son, we'll do that.
1487
01:38:02,593 --> 01:38:05,013
You must be Delilah's boy.
1488
01:38:07,057 --> 01:38:10,643
Boy, she made some fine,
fine whiskey.
1489
01:38:10,727 --> 01:38:11,937
Ooh, yeah.
1490
01:38:13,689 --> 01:38:17,776
She must've been really hitting it hard
when she was pregnant with you.
1491
01:38:27,535 --> 01:38:29,329
Atta boy, atta boy.
1492
01:38:30,038 --> 01:38:32,207
Da-da.
1493
01:38:32,290 --> 01:38:34,334
And, uh... you are?
1494
01:38:34,417 --> 01:38:38,254
I'm Lil Pete. I'm your son!
I love you so much, Dad!
1495
01:38:38,338 --> 01:38:40,173
- I have three nipples.
- Yeah, well...
1496
01:38:40,256 --> 01:38:42,175
It's always good to have a spare.
1497
01:38:44,052 --> 01:38:46,471
- Gall dang, you have one, too?
- Yeah.
1498
01:38:46,554 --> 01:38:48,306
Do you like to play with the extra one?
1499
01:38:48,389 --> 01:38:49,850
Oh, you betcha.
1500
01:38:49,933 --> 01:38:52,518
Oh, Pa, I have a question for you.
1501
01:38:52,602 --> 01:38:54,020
Yeah.
1502
01:38:54,104 --> 01:38:57,023
Where do babies come from?
1503
01:38:57,107 --> 01:39:00,736
Well, son, the mom just poops 'em out.
1504
01:39:00,819 --> 01:39:04,280
I knewed it!
I knewed it, Dad!
1505
01:39:05,782 --> 01:39:08,076
Well, look at this handsome devil.
1506
01:39:08,159 --> 01:39:10,620
Sir, I'm Danny.
1507
01:39:10,703 --> 01:39:12,748
It's awful nice to finally meet ya.
1508
01:39:12,831 --> 01:39:15,375
Could you help me with a problem?
1509
01:39:15,458 --> 01:39:17,418
I did a real stupid thing
1510
01:39:17,502 --> 01:39:22,090
that inadvertently led to the death
of a United States President,
1511
01:39:22,173 --> 01:39:26,219
and I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.
1512
01:39:27,888 --> 01:39:30,223
Well, son...
1513
01:39:30,306 --> 01:39:31,767
look in my eyes.
1514
01:39:34,060 --> 01:39:35,937
Shit happens.
1515
01:39:37,230 --> 01:39:38,982
Yeah.
1516
01:39:39,065 --> 01:39:41,317
- Yeah, right.
1517
01:39:41,401 --> 01:39:43,694
Thanks. Thank you, sir.
1518
01:39:43,779 --> 01:39:45,155
- You're welcome.
1519
01:39:45,238 --> 01:39:48,366
So, where to now, huh?
1520
01:39:48,449 --> 01:39:51,995
Well, sir, Smoking Fox and me
are getting married in a few days,
1521
01:39:52,078 --> 01:39:55,331
and Screaming Eagle's
walking her down the aisle,
1522
01:39:55,415 --> 01:39:58,584
and I was hoping...
1523
01:39:58,668 --> 01:40:01,046
you could be there, next to me.
1524
01:40:01,129 --> 01:40:03,840
Oh, you mean your best man?
1525
01:40:03,924 --> 01:40:05,341
Yes, sir.
1526
01:40:05,425 --> 01:40:07,218
Oh, Tommy...
1527
01:40:07,302 --> 01:40:09,930
You know, that's...
that's quite an honor.
1528
01:40:10,013 --> 01:40:12,557
- It would be my honor, sir.
- Yeah. Well, uh...
1529
01:40:15,726 --> 01:40:18,729
But unfortunately, I...
1530
01:40:18,814 --> 01:40:22,192
I got some business up north
that I gotta attend to.
1531
01:40:22,275 --> 01:40:25,320
I gotta collect some gambling debts and...
1532
01:40:25,403 --> 01:40:29,115
You know,
just to pay the doctors and such.
1533
01:40:29,199 --> 01:40:32,660
Say, Dad. You don't ever gotta worry
about money ever again.
1534
01:40:32,743 --> 01:40:35,455
We had to conjure up 50 grand twice!
1535
01:40:35,538 --> 01:40:37,498
So we ended up with 100!
1536
01:40:38,624 --> 01:40:39,835
- A hundred?
- Yes, sir.
1537
01:40:39,918 --> 01:40:42,128
There's another 50 grand?
1538
01:40:42,212 --> 01:40:43,964
Yes, sir.
1539
01:40:44,047 --> 01:40:46,883
Right here,
in the burro's saddlebag.
1540
01:40:47,425 --> 01:40:52,097
So that business can wait up north,
can't it... best man?
1541
01:40:53,139 --> 01:40:57,978
Well, now that you mention it,
maybe I should change my plans.
1542
01:40:58,061 --> 01:41:00,730
- Bueno. Bueno.
- Yeah.
1543
01:41:06,319 --> 01:41:08,404
Hey! What are they doing back?
1544
01:41:14,577 --> 01:41:16,079
What is this?
1545
01:41:16,997 --> 01:41:19,749
I guess it's time you kids
1546
01:41:19,832 --> 01:41:24,462
learned the truth
about your dear old dad, huh?
1547
01:41:24,545 --> 01:41:28,008
I'm just too famous.
1548
01:41:28,091 --> 01:41:31,219
I can't walk into any town
west of the Rockies
1549
01:41:31,302 --> 01:41:34,055
without someone calling the law.
1550
01:41:34,139 --> 01:41:38,518
So, I came up with a way
we could make 50 grand
1551
01:41:38,601 --> 01:41:40,686
without lifting a finger.
1552
01:41:40,770 --> 01:41:44,649
And you rascals brought us double!
1553
01:41:44,732 --> 01:41:47,068
Are these my kids or what?
1554
01:41:48,361 --> 01:41:49,612
Son of a bitch!
1555
01:41:50,989 --> 01:41:53,574
If our two gangs joined forces,
1556
01:41:53,658 --> 01:41:57,578
there's not a lawman in the West
that would stand up against us.
1557
01:41:57,662 --> 01:42:00,415
What makes you think we'd turn
to a life of crime?
1558
01:42:00,498 --> 01:42:02,417
'Cause it's in your blood.
1559
01:42:02,500 --> 01:42:04,460
Answer me something.
1560
01:42:04,544 --> 01:42:10,091
Were you ever great at anything
in your life besides stealing?
1561
01:42:11,927 --> 01:42:13,469
No. No.
1562
01:42:13,553 --> 01:42:17,390
You apples didn't fall far from this tree.
1563
01:42:17,473 --> 01:42:19,809
Don't deny who you are.
1564
01:42:19,892 --> 01:42:22,562
If you knew who we really were,
1565
01:42:22,645 --> 01:42:25,273
you'd be very scared right now.
1566
01:42:27,858 --> 01:42:30,486
Don't overplay your hand, son.
1567
01:42:32,072 --> 01:42:34,324
I'm still holding an ace.
1568
01:42:43,708 --> 01:42:45,876
I found her. I-
1569
01:42:45,961 --> 01:42:47,420
I told you I'd find her.
1570
01:42:51,716 --> 01:42:56,221
This little beauty stumbled into our camp
a few days ago.
1571
01:42:58,889 --> 01:43:01,392
She actually tried to rescue me.
1572
01:43:01,476 --> 01:43:06,356
I'm guessing this means you don't want
me to be your best man no more, huh?
1573
01:43:09,275 --> 01:43:12,320
Well, I'm gonna make this
real simple for you.
1574
01:43:13,613 --> 01:43:19,785
Hand over the other 50 grand...
in that stupid ass' saddlebag,
1575
01:43:19,869 --> 01:43:25,208
or I put a bullet
in her pretty Apache head.
1576
01:43:28,128 --> 01:43:29,379
That ain't gonna happen.
1577
01:43:30,088 --> 01:43:31,422
Oh, it ain't?
1578
01:43:31,506 --> 01:43:32,798
No, sir.
1579
01:43:33,758 --> 01:43:35,010
Why's that?
1580
01:43:35,093 --> 01:43:37,970
Mmm... kind of a secret.
1581
01:43:38,054 --> 01:43:42,142
Well, you can tell your old man,
can't ya?
1582
01:43:45,103 --> 01:43:47,063
You know that bag...
1583
01:43:47,147 --> 01:43:49,565
- your boy's holding?
- Uh-huh.
1584
01:43:50,233 --> 01:43:52,027
It was meant for Cicero.
1585
01:43:52,110 --> 01:43:55,113
So there's something special in there.
1586
01:43:55,196 --> 01:43:57,657
- Plan B.
- Plan B?
1587
01:43:57,740 --> 01:43:58,908
Plan B.
1588
01:43:58,991 --> 01:44:00,743
Give me that bag.
1589
01:44:08,501 --> 01:44:10,002
Oh, shit!
1590
01:44:24,725 --> 01:44:25,726
Where is she?
1591
01:44:36,654 --> 01:44:38,656
Smoking Fox.
1592
01:44:50,293 --> 01:44:52,044
Nighty-night, son.
1593
01:44:59,969 --> 01:45:03,264
- Danny, are you all right?
1594
01:45:05,057 --> 01:45:07,977
You done good, Daniel.
You saved me.
1595
01:45:09,729 --> 01:45:12,148
It's my duty, Mr. President.
1596
01:45:15,818 --> 01:45:17,278
Mrs. Lincoln.
1597
01:45:18,738 --> 01:45:20,906
Come on! Come on!
Come here.
1598
01:45:25,911 --> 01:45:26,954
Get in.
1599
01:45:48,100 --> 01:45:49,227
I got one!
1600
01:45:49,310 --> 01:45:50,895
Clem, you almost shot me!
1601
01:45:50,978 --> 01:45:52,438
Come on,
get the horses!
1602
01:45:52,522 --> 01:45:55,316
My ass! My ass!
1603
01:45:58,444 --> 01:45:59,945
Hey!
1604
01:46:00,029 --> 01:46:03,491
Is this here still valid,
or is it too burnt up?
1605
01:46:03,574 --> 01:46:05,117
Let me take a look here.
1606
01:46:05,201 --> 01:46:07,287
Uh, that looks good to me.
I mean, this looks good.
1607
01:46:07,370 --> 01:46:08,371
What in the hell?
1608
01:46:08,454 --> 01:46:10,915
You didn't scoop yours out,
did you?
1609
01:46:14,126 --> 01:46:15,420
What was the question again?
1610
01:46:15,503 --> 01:46:17,505
What?
1611
01:46:17,588 --> 01:46:19,632
Did any of you really do it?
1612
01:46:24,762 --> 01:46:27,223
Well, then whose eyes are in that jar?
1613
01:46:27,307 --> 01:46:28,516
Uh...
1614
01:46:28,599 --> 01:46:32,019
Well, Babyface found some rocks,
and, uh, painted them.
1615
01:46:32,102 --> 01:46:33,896
Surprise?
1616
01:46:47,535 --> 01:46:50,830
Hey, Tom,
you wanna play a game
1617
01:46:50,913 --> 01:46:55,418
to make up for all the father-son time
we missed?
1618
01:46:55,501 --> 01:46:57,086
Peek-a-boo.
1619
01:47:03,884 --> 01:47:05,720
Hey, come over here!
1620
01:47:05,803 --> 01:47:07,597
No, come over there!
1621
01:47:13,394 --> 01:47:16,105
You could have had everything, son.
1622
01:47:16,188 --> 01:47:18,858
But you had to do the right thing.
1623
01:47:21,694 --> 01:47:25,698
Let me leave you
with a bit of fatherly advice.
1624
01:47:26,991 --> 01:47:32,204
- Never bring a knife to a gunfight.
1625
01:47:32,288 --> 01:47:35,291
One day,
there will be too many, my love.
1626
01:47:35,375 --> 01:47:36,584
But not today.
1627
01:47:51,641 --> 01:47:54,269
That was some mystical shit.
1628
01:47:59,649 --> 01:48:01,150
Tommy.
1629
01:48:01,233 --> 01:48:04,612
You knew Cicero killed my mother.
1630
01:48:04,695 --> 01:48:06,531
No!
1631
01:48:06,614 --> 01:48:07,948
No, I didn't know that.
1632
01:48:08,032 --> 01:48:09,659
No more lies!
1633
01:48:10,493 --> 01:48:12,870
Yeah, I knew. I knew.
1634
01:48:12,953 --> 01:48:14,872
Your mother insisted on telling.
1635
01:48:14,955 --> 01:48:18,376
She was going to rat the whole gang out,
and I tried to convince her-
1636
01:48:20,002 --> 01:48:23,255
Tommy, look, I'm your father,
for God's sake.
1637
01:48:23,339 --> 01:48:25,466
You don't kill your father, Tommy.
1638
01:48:31,639 --> 01:48:34,475
His name is White Knife.
1639
01:48:40,940 --> 01:48:42,983
I ain't gonna kill you.
1640
01:48:45,194 --> 01:48:48,948
'Cause my true father taught me otherwise.
1641
01:49:02,462 --> 01:49:04,505
You can't leave me like this!
1642
01:49:07,342 --> 01:49:08,468
Tommy!
1643
01:49:10,219 --> 01:49:12,262
You can't leave me here alone!
1644
01:49:45,671 --> 01:49:49,675
Dear Mama, so much has changed
since my last letter.
1645
01:49:49,759 --> 01:49:51,677
I scarcely know where to begin.
1646
01:49:51,761 --> 01:49:56,974
First off, it turns out our daddy
is a bad, bad man,
1647
01:49:57,057 --> 01:49:59,268
and he got thrown in jail.
1648
01:50:03,731 --> 01:50:08,694
But it's okay, 'cause Screaming Eagle,
the Indian chief who raised Tommy,
1649
01:50:08,778 --> 01:50:11,113
said he'd be all our dads, too.
1650
01:50:19,079 --> 01:50:21,791
I really like it here in this village.
1651
01:50:21,874 --> 01:50:25,461
Our new brothers and sisters
love to have fun
1652
01:50:25,545 --> 01:50:28,756
and have been so nice to all of us.
1653
01:50:28,839 --> 01:50:31,926
These white guys cannot dance.
1654
01:50:33,093 --> 01:50:35,095
Danny don't drink
whiskey no more.
1655
01:50:35,179 --> 01:50:36,681
- No.
- Yee-haw!
1656
01:50:37,432 --> 01:50:41,060
And Ramon and Herm
are trying to learn Indian ways.
1657
01:50:55,407 --> 01:50:57,952
Oh, and big news...
1658
01:50:58,035 --> 01:51:00,204
I finally have a girlfriend,
1659
01:51:00,287 --> 01:51:03,499
and she's much prettier
than a canty-loupe.
1660
01:51:03,583 --> 01:51:06,126
Come on, you two!
You're missing all the fun.
1661
01:51:06,210 --> 01:51:10,339
Anyways, Mama, thanks for raising me.
1662
01:51:10,422 --> 01:51:13,676
Your loving son, Lil Pete,
1663
01:51:13,759 --> 01:51:17,805
proud member of the Ridiculous 6.
1664
01:58:42,332 --> 01:58:43,333
Before you go...
1665
01:58:43,417 --> 01:58:46,461
Two, four, six, eight.
1666
01:58:46,545 --> 01:58:48,755
Who do we appreciate?
1667
01:58:48,838 --> 01:58:51,591
The Stockburns! The Stockburns!
1668
01:58:51,675 --> 01:58:54,261
Yeah! The Stockburns!
120749
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.