Original subtitles

[ Static ]

[ Country music plays ]

♪ My dreams are all dead and buried ♪

♪ Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode ♪

♪ When God comes and calls me to his kingdom ♪

♪ I'll take all you sons of bitches when I go ♪

[ Yodeling ]

-My turn. -Hell no.

Man, let me drive that thing! Come on!

Do not touch the trim!

[ Siren wails ]

I didn't flash that womarn.

She looked at my junk.

I ain't wore pants since the 1980s.

We're not here about the --

Wait, what woman? I didn't get her name.

Hell, you think I take a roll call

when I'm flashin' somebody?

You frequent Boyd's Dollar, don't ya?

Yeah, but only to rob it and break shit.

Don't you try to pin nothing on me, now.

You mind tellin' me where you was last night?

You don't have to answer that, Early.

Yes, he does. He's a suspect.

Uh, he was with me.

We were -- We were together last night,

fishin' a-at the lake

for large mouth bass

in a masculine,

manly kind of way -- the way men do.

We was? Yes, Early.

We was.

Remember?

♪♪

The hat, too, please.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. We was.

Fishin'. Yeah. Fishin'.

Me and him was fishin'.

Fishin', yep. Fishin'. Together.

Like mans do. Ha-ha. Fishin'.

Well, somebody put more holes in Boyd than a mini-golf course.

This look familiar to you?

♪♪

Oh, Boyd!

I'll never get to pistol-whip his weak ass

and take from him what was his ever again!

[ Sobs ]

Now look what ya done, Denny.

I told ya he was with me. He didn't do it.

I'm one of the good guys!

Boyd's wife said that the perp was 2 feet tall,

green skin, and up to a dozen legs.

Who's that sound like to you?

You're racialistically profilactin' me here!

Prejucatin' me.

That's bullmess!

But I will tell you that my boy

fits that same exact description.

I love him. Now, don't get me wrong.

But I don't have a clue as to where he was last night.

[ Siren wails ] What the hell?

What did I do?

Oh, Lord! My only son!

That looks a lot like Rusty, don't it?

Take your hands off him!

He ain't done nothin'!

But, Early, you told us th--

Ah, ah, ah -- quiet now!

That was an anonymous tip, now!

Sheriff: All right, Rusty.

Now, I'm pretty easy-going, but my partner...

well, he's an animal when it comes to law-breakers.

I can't control him when he goes off,

so watch your step.

Can I get you a sandwich?

Yessir. Uh, tuna salad, please.

Tuna salad.

Listen to me.

I'm sorry about my partner, man.

He's an animal when it comes to law-breakers.

I can't control him.

Can I get you a sandwich or somethin'?

I've got one comin', but sure.

I'll take another. How about a tuna salad?

Tuna salad -- I got your back.

Come on, now.

That's the last tuna salad panini.

How am I gonna good cop him now?

You're good cop?

I'm good cop. No!

Damn it, who's playin' bad cop, then?

I don't like playin' bad cop.

It makes me sad.

Aw, hell. We good copped him too much.

Now we gotta bad cop him double so we can catch up.

Here's your sandwich, jerk.

I took the cheese off of it

because I heard you like cheese.

Denny: Here's your other sandwich.

Chicken salad. Not at all what you ordered,

'cause I'm a bad cop, too.

Denny, take one of them sandwiches away from him.

Gimme that tuna, boy.

Hey, not the one I gave him.

He keeps that one because I'm the good cop.

Take yours -- the bad cop sandwich.

They both bad cop sandwiches, we both bad cops.

Don't say that! Shu-Shut up.

We're trickin' him, now.

Uh, look there, Rusty.

Just sign right here, and maybe, just maybe,

I'll give you your cheese back.

A'ight.

Was that so hard?

Now you're free to go.

Thank you.

Aah! I lied!

We're both bad cops!

Ha ha! We tricked your ass.

Denny, take the other sandwich.

You under arrest for the murder of Boyd.

Wait, what? You confessed, jack.

But I didn't do it! Here's your cheese.

I'm back to being a good cop, okay?

Psych! Bad cop!

♪♪

Early: Breaks my heart that you in here.

But don't you worry, son.

You ain't gonna spend one night in jail,

except for the two months you've already spent in jail.

We are hiring you the most affordable legal team

known to man.

Me and Granny.

I've gotten hundreds of men off.

The court's supposed to appoint an attorney

if you can't afford one.

Ah, but we can afford one

if we collect attorney fees on this.

That's called double-final-celebrity jeopardy

is what they call that.

And that's on every day at 6:00 after your local news.

We'll defend you, son.

We been fightin' for you since the day you was born,

and I'll keep fightin' for you until we win the war.

And I'll fight after the war, too.

'Cause I love to fight, and I don't need a reason,

but it makes me look dumb if I don't have one.

I motion for recess.

I'll allow it. I obstruct.

Overstained. See? We're lawyers!

-Guilty. -What?!

Judge: I sentence you to death

by the electric chair. Hold on a second!

Whoa, hold up! Oh, my God!

Permission to reproach the bench.

Permission denied.

When I hit this hammer,

it means the trial is over.

Oh, I thought you was just buildin' a desk.

Oh, well.

You win some, you lose some.

There's always next time!

But there ain't no next time.

They gon' fry me in the electric chair, Granny!

Rusty, I'm not really a doctor.

I just wanted to feel important.

I may have severed my hand with this briefcase.

This ain't that bad a deal, really.

I mean, who would want to spend their whole life in prison?

But I didn't do it, Daddy.

Well, that fella up there with the hammer says you did do it.

So, I mean, who's to say you didn't?

You're the one to say.

You're my damn lawyer.

We need to appeal this.

Uh, I don't think I can go through this again, Rusty.

These types of trials are so hard on a family.

That jury deliberated for over 20 minutes.

Do you realize how boring that was for me,

without my phone, to be left alone with my own thoughts?

What's that old sayin'?

"Fool me once, shame on me..."

And that is the whole sayin'.

♪♪

We got a new bitch in here, fellas.

-Look. -Chiquita!

[ Laughs ]

Come sit by me, you little bitch.

♪♪

[ Protesters shouting ]

Steve: Rusty Cuyler is disadvantaged,

mired in poverty,

and they set him up! [ Cheering ]

This young man has no money, no public defender.

[ Crowd boos ] He had no priors!

They coerced a confession.

But we're all gettin' together today

so we can set Rusty free!

[ Cheering ]

Now I'm gonna pass this mic

to Rusty's daddy to say a few words.

How we feelin' tonight?

Whoo!

When I yell, "What you wanna do?"

Y'all yell, "Get [bleep] up!"

And when I say, "When do you wanna do it?"

Y'all say, "Right sombitchin' now!"

Let's do this! Whooo!

What do you wanna do? Uh, but -- but let's not forget

that a young man's life is at stake.

That's the real reason wh-why we're here.

No, no, no. Pearl Jam's right, y'all.

I'm not Pearl Jam.

As y'all know, my son is on death row,

and I'm very emotional at this emotional time.

What, with my emotionality afoot.

So, when I point to you and say, "What do y'all wanna do?"

just quietly, in a respectful manner, just say,

"Get [bleep] up."

Please respect our privacy, okay?

That was -- That was very moving.

Except for you.

You can violate my privates

any time you want to, big boobies!

Whoo! Thank you, Mr. Cuyler.

We've written a song about this young man's plight.

It's called "Dove in the Iron Cage."

[ Cheering ] But he's a squid, ain't he?

The dove is a metaphor for innocence.

He's guilty. I done proved it in court.

J-Just let us do the song.

♪ Eight green legs

♪♪

♪ Shackled and chained

♪♪

♪ Life rearranged

♪♪

♪ Caged in pain

♪♪

♪ And it's a dirty rotten shame ♪

♪♪

♪ Ain't done anything

♪♪

♪ Hey, ain't supposed to be here ♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, ain't supposed to be here ♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, ain't supposed to be here ♪

♪♪

♪ Rustlin' like a dove in an iron cage ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

White power, Rusty.

Hey, Ricky. White power, my man!

What's crackin', Carrot Head?

Leroy, death to whitey, am I righty?

All nighty. [ Laughs ]

Hola, Rusty. Hola, Jesus.

Hey, I got a message for you.

Keep your mouth shut, you dry snitch! Ooh! Ow!

Oh, Rusty! Sorry, Jesus.

If I didn't stick you, they'd think I was weak.

You're fine. It's collapsible.

Made it in shop out of a radio antenna.

Ow-ow! Ooh, ooh. Aah! Ugh.

♪♪

♪ Rustlin' like a dove in an iron cage ♪

[ Bell rings ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Man, I am gettin' swole.

Check this out, woman. Ba-bam!

Yeah, you're gonna be lookin' real buff in a pine box.

Aw, chill, baby. My lawyers got this on lock.

We about to plead fro-yo on this bitch.

It's nolo, Rusty.

And the trial is over.

They've set your execution date.

They did what, now? Stop staring at your muscles.

This is your life.

Well, don't worry. Ain't no prison can hold me.

I'm bustin' out of here. The Cuyler way.

No, for once, you need to not do things the Cuyler way.

The Innocence Project sent you a real attorney.

So your daddy needs to shut the hell up and get on board.

Lawyer: We have a very tight window here

to stay the execution,

but I've read the court documents,

and this has been a gross miscarriage of justice.

That's right. If Rusty woulda been a miscarriage,

this woulda never happened.

I told his momma I'd pay for the miscarriage,

but she went and got all religious and everything.

Right. Well, I think it's important

to show the jury that Rusty

is poor, uneducated, disadvantaged --

Poor and disadvantaged?

[ Chuckles ] Ain't a jury in hell gonna buy that.

Look at this gray market iWatch I'm wearing.

Does this look like the timepiece of a damn idiot?

That's a lollipop stuck to your wrist, sir.

See the white stick and the candy?

Well, no wonder it don't never get my step count right.

Sounds like you just come down here from the big city

to tear us down.

My son already got himself

a fully quanfintized attorney.

Me. Yeah, me, too.

I was co-counsel on this.

No offense, but you represented your son

on first-degree murder charges

and you have a second-grade reading level.

I hope your governor will take these factors into consideration

because we are running out of time.

Oh, and wear the lollipop.

It'll help us defame your character.

Talk, talk, talk.

And no damn action!

Yes, I agree.

Let's talk some more.

Action takes up so much energy.

Them big-city paper-pushers think they can get

Rusty out of jail with their big letters,

and their numbers, and their evidence,

and their expert witnesses,

and their knowledge of the law,

and their common sense, and their reasoning ability.

No, no, no, no.

We gonna get Rusty out of jail the Cuyler way.

What exactly is the Cuyler way?

The Cuyler way is I got a truck bed full of gasoline,

and I'm gonna crash into the outer wall of the prison.

Then, I'm gonna slit that guard's throat

with this here buck knife.

And I'm gonna split the other guard's trachea

with my Chinese ninja throwin' stars.

I don't think we should do the Cuyler way.

We should probably look at people

more successful than the Cuylers

and try doin' it their way.

I only know the Cuyler way, damn it.

Go! Wait, we're doin' this?

I fell on my damn knife!

Where my throwin' stars?

I can't see nothin'! [ Groans ]

By the way, where is the prison?

Are we inside?

Oh, that ain't the prison.

That's the Waffle Barn.

[ Explosion ]

Oh, no! I love me some waffles!

Oh, no.

What? Aah!

[ Clock chimes ]

Are you sure you don't want to pray to Jesus with me, Rusty?

Why?

My whole life, Jesus' been crappin' on me.

He made me poor, stupid, gave me zits.

Hell, I got back zits on the back of my head

'cause he didn't even give me no back.

My life's been a shit show. Why would I want an encore?

Aw, hold on, now. Rusty, it ain't all that bad.

You're about to get a pretty slammin' last meal,

courtesy of the state of Georgia.

Naw, I ain't hungry.

Are you sure?

Now, you get whatever you want, Rusty.

It's your last meal. A'ight.

I-I want a cheeseburger and a pizza.

And a root beer float, I guess.

Okay.

That gonna cover it?

Um, I also want a candy bar,

deep fried like they do at the fair.

'Cause I ain't never been to a fair.

And I want eight churros

so I can put a churro on each finger

and pretend like I'm Churro Man.

No problem, Churro Man.

We may have to push the execution back a few hours,

go out out, and round all this stuff up,

but I'm sure that'd be all right with you, won't it?

Oh, okay.

Well, in that case, uh, let me get 20 hot wings.

Okay. Dodo-bird hot wings.

Wait, aren't dodo birds extinct?

Well, then you best "Jurassic Park" them sons-of-bitches,

'cause that's what I want.

And I also got a hankering

for an eight-piece California roll.

California's 3,000 miles from here.

And I want 1,300 BLTs.

Also, I don't like mayo. So hold the mayo.

But they come with mayo, Rusty.

We'd have to scrape it all off by hand.

Could I throw in some onion rings?

Yeah, one extra-large onion rings

for the preacher man. God bless you, bro.

Ah, all right.

I gotta make some calls.

Yeah, that's right you will. Get on it!

Or I'll do you just like I done Boyd.

So, you did kill Boyd?

You know what? H-H-Hold up.

Cancel them onion rings.

Come on, bro. I prayed for you.

You best pray for some onion rings now, God man.

'Cause you ain't gonna get 'em in here.

It just seems to me the Cuyler way don't

normally work out right.

The Cuyler way is the only way.

Put your mask on and keep your mouth shut.

I'm runnin' this show.

Denny: Can I help you?

Uh, yeah, uh, I'm President Jimmy Carter

as you can see from my face,

and, uh, I'm officially pardoning

Rusty Cuyler, so you best let him go.

I hate to say this, but I don't see you

on the visitors list, Mr. President.

Is President Wolfman on the list?

Ah-rooo! I done a-told you.

You Vice President Wolfman.

Hey, Denny.

Hey, Granny. God damn it.

Happy Halloween! Put your mask back on.

You'll compromise the whole operation.

♪ Amazing Grace

♪ How sweet the sound

This is Doug Richards reporting live outside

Dougal County Maximum Security Correctional Facility,

where convicted murderer Russell Cuyler

awaits execution by lethal injection

in less than an hour.

Sheriff: H-How you gonna eat all these BLTs

before 8:00, Rusty? [ Chuckles ]

I guess your eyes were bigger than your stomach,

wasn't they? Did you hear my joke?

I can't see ya, so I-I don't know if you're smiling or not.

Uh, hey, you think maybe I could, uh,

have half of one of these?

Rusty: Hell, no! I want all 1,300.

All right, I'm sorry!

I-I'll put it back.

That's right, you will.

I'm about to fill my mouth with some food, now,

and I don't like to talk with my mouth full.

So I'm gonna be chewin',

and I ain't gonna talk for a long time.

Well, Rusty, don't eat too fast and choke and die,

'cause that's gonna mess up us havin' to kill ya, you know?

[ Laughs ]

Did you hear that joke? I still can't see ya.

[ Clears throat ] You know, I bet he's smiling in there.

Did you hear my joke, Thomas?

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Grunting ]

♪♪

Man: Mmm. Yeah.

♪♪

[ Toilet flushes ]

♪♪

[ Pinging ]

♪♪

[ Retches ]

♪♪

[ Clicking, air blowing ]

♪♪

Aaaaahhh!

Ow.

[ Dryer buzzes ]

♪♪

Muchas gracias, Jesus.

Good thing I didn't shank you, right?

No, it doesn't. Life is random and we all die alone.

But I love you anyway, brother.

♪♪

Good luck with the racial purity, Ricky.

You'll get there. White power, Rusty.

Leroy, death to whitey, right?

Damn straight.

You ready to do this, Ricky?

Ready as I'll ever be.

[ Grunting ]

-Fight! -There's a fight!

[ Alarm blaring ]

♪♪

[ Screaming ]

Waaa!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Was blind but now...

[ Gasping ] I'm free, mother-[bleep]

Daddy! Rusty!

Ugh. What are you doin'?

Oh, I just busted my green ass out of prison --

the Cuyler way. Ba-bam!

We've just gotten word from the governor's office

that Russell Cuyler is receiving a stay of execution

until his case can be reviewed by the State Supreme Court.

[ Cheering ] Yes!

Rusty, did you hear that?

The governor's gonna review your case!

You mean I gotta go back in there and wait for due process?

Dagummit.

Oh, God.

Rusty's been torn to bits by rats.

He deserves better.

Oh, no, Sheriff. It's okay.

I'm here. I'm alive.

Oh! Oh, thank God.

I thought that lettuce was you, Rusty.

Did you hear the good news?

You're probably gonna get out of here soon.

Turns out, I didn't have any evidence on you at all.

It's all right, Sheriff. I get it.

White privilege.

You saw an opportunity to sell a minority

up the river and you pounced on it.

I sure did. But, look,

I didn't ask to be born white, so in some ways,

I-I guess we're both victims.

Are we cool here, now?

Sure, Sheriff. Blow it up, Rusty.

Stick this! Shove it! No!

Die, pig! Oh, mommy!

Ohh! It's all right, Sheriff.

You alive. Collapsible.

I made it in shop out of a radio antenna.

Oh, thank God.

Whew! I nearly wet myself.

Well, that's a strange definition of "nearly."

♪♪

♪ The food was pretty good

♪ And I got my GED

♪ I asked for 1,300 BLTs

♪ And they gave it to me!

♪ Mayo-free, man!

♪ Even though I got framed

♪ I ain't afraid

♪ The Po-po tried to put me back in the cage ♪

♪ I'm ready, bitches

♪ God willing, with help from above! ♪

♪ This ain't the last jail time for this dirty dove! ♪

♪♪

Oh, that was a good song, honey.

Yeah. I know. I texted them lyrics to Steve Earle,

and he just texted back "K."

So, then I asked him when he was playing Dougal county again

and maybe I could sing it at the show,

and he ain't got back to me.

Rusty, none of them fancy-pants lawyers

that got you off or them high-stepping bands

that raised all that money for your legal defense

are gonna be your real friends.

The only real, true friends you're gonna have

are right here in Dougal cou--

[Bleep] you, law dog!

You tried to have me killed by lethal injection!

He 'bout mad as hell.

He gon' kill again.

Easy now, killer! Whoo-hoo!

Did they ever find out who iced Boyd?

Funny story -- turns out Boyd had leukemia,

he didn't have health insurance either,

so his wife shot him. [ Laughs ]

A-And I guess his wife blamed it on you

so she could collect life insurance.

She thought no one would call it into question

because you're poor and uneducated,

and, frankly [Chuckles]

we're incompetent. [ Laughs ]

That story ain't funny.

No, it is not.

♪ Hey, ain't supposed to be here ♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, ain't supposed to be here ♪

♪♪

♪ Hey, ain't supposed to be here ♪

♪♪

♪ Rustlin' like a dove in an iron cage ♪

♪♪

Early: ♪ Made in Georgia