Original subtitles

- [screaming]

Damn bloody-- [speaking Swedish]

I'm not having this!

How's it going, bros? PewDiePie.

You're about to watch me

get the absolute shit scared out of me.

- You're gonna be shot at today. - What?

This show takes what I already do--

getting scared of horror games--

but taking it to the next level...

Oh, fuck.

A really fucked up level.

[screaming]

So if you love watching me get scared shitless...

Ah, God!

You're gonna love "Scare PewDiePie."

[haunting music]

[upbeat music]

- Mr. PewDie, come on. - PewDiePie.

Oh, my God, Jeff is here.

What the fuck?

- It's a one-way street. - No, it's not.

- I have a lot of love for costumes.

- He has a weapon-- a gun?

- Rachel said Jeff is to stay with you guys all day.

I don't care if he's in the shot,

'cause Felix's safety is of utmost importance.

- All right.

- Can you please put this on? Is that--

- If it'll make you quiet, yeah, I'll put it on.

- I'll put it on you. I'm security.

If you're lost, as you've been in the past,

you blow it, and I'll be there.

[whistle blows] There you go.

That's exactly what I want to hear.

- Great, all right. Let's go.

- What? - Let's go.

♪ ♪

- All right, here's what I can tell you.

You're gonna be shot at today. - What?

- Tonight's is gonna be... - Oh, come on.

- Pretty insane.

- Will I be in pain?

- Yes. Oh, yes.

- Jeff, what do you have to say about this?

- I'll be there.

- Okay, yeah, Jeff, have you ever fired a gun?

- Of course I've fired a gun.

2006, .38 caliber,

six-round chamber, and he was shot

in the lower abdomen.

- Okay, yes. - All right.

- I think I'm here for a good reason.

I'm here because of threats.

- What threats?

- There are some threats online.

What I deem, out of six, a level six.

- Which is not--

But we have a restraining order against--

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Is Nikki doing something?

- She posted something online.

- What did she post?

- She posted a video.

- So that's why Jeff is here?

- Yes.

- Oh, shit. What the fuck?

- PewDiePie!

Hi, Felix.

I miss you. - What the fuck?

- [giggles] - Okay.

- Is it weird that

I think I'm your penguin.

- "I'm your penguin"?

- It's the best! [chuckles]

Swedish Fish, how many can I fit in my mouth?

Can you guess, Felix?

I'll show you in real life.

- This is a level six threat? - Yeah.

- That threat is the reason I've been outside your house

the last couple nights.

- Okay, let's go, guys.

- No.

Can't we have the googly eyes?

- No.

This is all for you. - What the fuck is this?

What the fuck is this? - All for your protection.

- All for my protection. Yeah, okay.

No, come on.

Kneepads, are you kidding--

- Can we get the baseball bat to test the knee pads?

- Jeff!

I can't reach the whistle.

What the fuck are you doing?

- Does that hurt? - No.

- Remember the safety phrase. Say it twice.

- Bananas, bananas. - That's not the safety phrase.

- Is after this the parachute?

- Yes. - The--

- This is where I leave you.

The next person you hear, the next voice you will hear

will help you through the game.

- Okay. - Good luck.

- Damn it, okay.

- I love you. Stay safe.

- Thanks. - Okay?

- [shrieks]

- Why?

[sighs]

Hard to breathe in this fucking thing.

- Stand by, private.

- Oh, Jesus Christ, that's loud.

- Remove your blindfold, private.

- Okay, okay, I'm removing my blindfold.

What the fuck?

Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today

What the fuck is this?

Hey, it's my logo.

- Do you know where you are? - I have no idea.

- You are in a military installation.

- A milintary insfallation--installation.

Okay, great.

- We have infiltrated a deadly military faction

known only as "Barrels."

Your mission is simple.

You must sneak into their headquarters

and find a clue to bring back to your home base.

- Well, I'm guessing this-- this thing

has something to do with it.

- You will bring back three pieces of a clue.

When you connect the pieces, you will have a code

that will help you escape.

- I already know I'm gonna fail at this shit.

But okay.

Let's give it a go.

- Your mission can be easy or hard.

- Do I get to pick?

- Private, I'm gonna ask you a question.

The answer will determine the alert level of the enemy.

- Ugh, okay.

- Level one: what do you call the scary monster in "Amnesia"?

- The Bro, easy. [electronic chime]

Whoo-hoo!

Yes.

- All right, Private Pie.

You get to go through the easy door.

- Yes!

Awesome.

- That means the enemy is on low alert.

- Oh, shit.

- Look for the symbol of resistance

and find that clue.

- Okay, symbol of resistance, find the clue.

I get the easy door.

Fuck yes.

Okay.

- Even though the enemy is on low-level alert,

they're still out there.

Watch out.

- Find the symbol down this alleyway.

Don't be seen.

- How many of them are there?

- Proceed with caution.

- Okay, okay.

- Do you see the symbol?

- Open the case.

Oh, shit.

How the fuck do I-- - Are they coming?

- What?

What the fuck is he on about?

- Remember, this is the easy level.

- Oh, shit. I got it.

I got it. Yes, I did something.

Yes, yes. Fuck yes.

- Okay, okay.

Got the first one.

Fuck yes.

Hmm, what could it be?

I don't know.

Yes.

Nailed that shit.

- Question two, what is the name

of the doctor who you needed a signature from

in the mental hospital?

- Pfft, are you fucking kidding me?

- No one is released until their paperwork

is signed by Dr. Yates.

- This way to Dr. Yates.

- Yates! Yates! [yelling]

- Dr. Schwartz.

[buzzer blares]

- The correct answer is Dr. Yates.

You're going to have to go through the hard door.

- Okay.

I can do this.

This is for my bros.

I'm guessing I have to unlock that shit later.

Private Pie is going out.

- Remember, the soldiers will be on high-level alert.

- Don't breathe.

- Proceed with caution.

- What?

[intense music]

♪ ♪

- Get back to base! Get back to base!

- Holy shit.

Okay.

I'm the worst stealther ever.

So there is hope.

Okay, there we go.

That's where that belongs.

- You need one more piece.

- Private Pie is ready.

Give me--give me the news.

- Here's your final question.

What is your safe phrase?

- Are we doing a safe word?

I think we should do a safe word.

- Yeah, okay.

What are you-- what are you thinking?

- Pineapples.

- Okay, guys, we're sticking with pineapples.

Feel safer now? Feel good?

- Yeah, I'm glad we got a safe word.

[chuckles]

Bananas, bananas.

[buzzer blares]

Okay, that's just great.

Not right.

Fine. I'm up for a challenge.

- Listen up, Private Pie.

You got to go deeper into enemy territory

than you've ever gone. - Holy shit.

- You've got to find the third and final symbol.

- Third and final symbol.

- Hard door, you know where to go.

- Hard door, got it.

My favorite door.

- Remember, the enemy will be on high alert.

- They're delivering something.

- You've got to find the third and final symbol.

- No, I don't.

- It's on the other side of those barrels.

Stay low.

[cans clanging]

- Find the piece! Find the piece!

Hide! Hide!

Shut the door! Shut the door!

- Fuck me.

- Scramble! Scramble!

[intense music]

♪ ♪

- Private P--Private P--

Private Pie, 100%.

100% Private Pie.

3, 8, 7, 5--is that the code to the lock?

This better fucking work.

Eight...

- We trained you for this, son.

- You didn't train me shit.

Yes! Okay.

What's in here?

No!

Oh, fuck.

Ah, yeah!

- Remember your mission.

Be ready to take them down.

When you have eliminated the enemy,

we will rendezvous at the extraction point.

- That can't be right.

We have heat signatures on 40 soldiers.

- 40? Are you kidding me?

- Don't worry, you can be hit up to 30 times

before you lose your life.

- 30? Are you fucking kidding me?

- Why don't you create a distraction to draw them out?

[can clangs]

- Who threw that can?

- Go, go, go! - Take him down now!

- Smoke him! - Get him!

[all talking at once]

- Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck!

[screaming]

[speaking Swedish]

- Fire back!

- I don't want to fire back! [squeals]

- Fire back, God damn it!

You got to shoot them.

- Ha, ha! Got you, bitch!

Take that motherfuckers!

[explosion booms]

- Reload, reload!

- [squeals]

Ahh!

Whoo!

I'm out.

Shit, I wasted so many--

Ow! Fucking ass!

- Remember, their head is their weak spot.

- Why are you telling me this now?

[yelling]

Oh!

- If you can make it to the third symbol,

you can reload.

- [screaming]

[whistle blowing]

Is that the--oh, shit.

- How many of them are left?

- Too many, dude.

Too fucking many.

- No, they've got a grenade! - Shit.

Shit!

[yelling]

- Your health bar is critical!

- Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure--

Ahh!

Fucking ass!

Got your dick!

This is my final seven.

[slo-mo screaming]

[screaming]

I'm gonna use my last G.

This one's for Timmy.

[explosion booms]

This is it for Private Pewds.

Sergeant, I don't think I'm gonna make it.

I'm out of ammo.

Tell my subs-- tell the bros--

do it for the--

- Private Pie, I got good news.

- What?

- You've taken out the enemy.

They're all dead.

- Really?

Oh.

Well, how about that, bitches?

- We're gonna help you find a way out of here.

- I need a medic for my ass, dude.

- Go to the green light.

That's your extraction point.

[siren blaring]

They're coming in behind you!

They've triggered the explosives!

Run! Run! Run!

[explosions booming]

- [screaming]

- This way, this way, this way! - This way.

- Straight, straight, straight in.

Out, out, out, out, out!

- Yeah!

[cheers and applause]

- What's up?

Central command, central command.

- They got me in the ass.

When that happened, I was like, "I'm done."

I want to see, 'cause I got hit in the head so many--

oh, Jesus Christ.

Look at this.

[applause]

- Really good job, man, really good job.

- Want to learn how to work these weapons?

- Ready to kick some ass.

- You ready to win? - Fuck yeah.

- We lost a lot of good men out there.

- Well, it ain't gonna be me.

- You sure about that? - Nope.

- Where you from? - Sweden.

- They have men in Sweden?

- Yes.

We have men in Sweden.

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