Original subtitles

(squeaking)

man: hyah! (horse whinnying)

(cackling)

francois: (with french accent) these last two weeks,

since we met at the louvre have gone by so quickly.

(with french accent) for me too, francois.

(carriage bumps) (gasps)

(horses whinnying)

i want no secret between us.

oh...

nor i.

you have something you want to tell me?

something that could put both our lives in jeopardy.

(gasps) a yellow rose!

the calling card of... the chartreuse fox.

you... are that infamous traitor?

i prefer the term, "patriote."

(imitating horse) hip, hop, hip, hop.

attention!

halt!

why are we stopping, claude?

it's the police, mademoiselle.

was it a mistake to tell you?

policeman: you in the carriage, step out now!

i command it!

lady devalle.

capitaine gerrard.

uh, why was i stopped?

my apologies. i did not recognize your coach.

we are seeking the chartreuse fox.

ahh. are you traveling alone?

i am with...

my father.

uh, but he is not well.

(coughing)

what is wrong with him?

(hacking cough)

i... i don't know. consumption?

(exaggerated coughing)

perhaps... the plague.

(loud gagging) would you like to see him? papa!

no, no, no, no. that is unnecessary.

please... proceed.

(sighs)

lady devalle: tell me, dear fox,

why do you risk your life for peasants

too stupid and lazy to fend for themselves, huh?

i believe in every man's heart, there is a hero.

but not a peasant.

even a peasant heart can be noble!

they wait for just one, as the chartreuse fox,

to rouse the hero from within.

you could do that? turn a lowly peasant into a hero?

given the resources, yes.

even for a man as daring and heroic as yourself,

that would be quite a feat, no?

are you challenging me, ma chérie?

it would make an interesting wager, oui.

oh! and what would be bet?

i believe you have seen my collateral.

(growls)

(horse whinnies) oh! aah!

now what?

what is it this time?

claude: a man is hurt, monsieur! (moaning) please!

help me. help me.

(moaning)

monsieur. merci beaucoup.

you are most kind. merci.

(grunts)

what do you want?

(in a french accent) ha! i am jean pierre,

highwayman extraordinaire!

give me your money.

whoa, oh! oh!

oh, merci. you have rescued us. (laughs)

(in a french accent) i am robert, also highwayman extraordinaire.

give moi your money. (chuckles)

idiot! what... give...

what? what are you trying to do?

what? you almost killed me!

killed me! okay!

all right, then.

hey! what?

hey! okay!

now, then.

(yelping)

can you give me any raison i should not run you through on the spot?

uh... i cannot think of one, no.

okay. (gasps)

francois! this is the perfect opportunity.

quoi? our bet.

peasants into heroes. huh?

you're right. they are perfect!

i will turn them into heroes!

(shouting and babbling)

or they will die trying.

(laughing) huh?

(groaning) (stuttering) jean pierre.

(groaning continues)

narrator: this is the story of a time long ago,

a time of myth and legend,

when the ancient gods were petty and cruel

and they plagued mankind with suffering.

only one man dared to challenge their power.

hercules.

hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen,

a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.

he journeyed the earth, battling the minions of his wicked stepmother, hera,

the all-powerful queen of the gods.

but wherever there was evil,

wherever an innocent would suffer,

there would be hercules.

(screeching)

(growling)

(roaring)

(all cheering)

bon. now, just listen to me.

then, if you're not convinced,

i pay for your time,

and you’ll be free to go.

pay us?

ah, oui.

i've sold all my worldly possessions

to support the cause.

what cause?

um, we get into that later.

this is all i have left.

huh. you look as if you are flat broke.

oh, this chateau belongs to my cousin.

i am just, uh, visiting.

it cannot hurt to listen, jean pierre.

what?

(drops accent) i said it can't hurt to listen.

that's the spirit!

tell me, what do you know of the ancient greeks?

uh, they liked olives?

they are all dead.

oh! they were very progressive.

let me tell you about them.

they were a noble society...

with lofty ideas...

and a dedication to mankind's...

higher self.

(roars)

francois: oh, yes, there was, of course, that.

but i am talking of a different ancient greece!

i am talking of a place that saw a champion of the common man

emerge as the hero of his time,

and that hero was... "hercule!"

who? who?

who are you, anyway? hercules.

hercules.

wait a minute, hercules. aren't we headed...

you're hercules?

francois: hercule possessed towering strength and compassion.

he never ignored a cry for help. whoa!

don't! hey! i'm one of the good guys! you are?

i'm hemnor of cyrenia. i've come to ask your help.

are you hercules? a hundred of us were sent to find you.

bring him water. you're safe here.

where are the rest?

dead. all dead.

help! help! francois: the people had a friend to turn to

in times of need.

a warlord named attilus has captured our village

on the other side of the valley!

we need your help!

no! we'll spill no more blood.

francois: a friend who solved problems, not with brute force,

but with tact and diplomacy.

freedom is more precious than revenge.

and you will set them free, won't you?

(clearing throat) sure.

go on, finish it.

prove you're the greatest warrior.

killing isn't the only way of proving you're a warrior, xena.

i think you know that.

you may have been my mentor, but...

no one ever had a better father.

it was my pleasure.

man: guards! keep those buckets coming!

francois: in the face of danger, he was there, never surrendering hope.

watch out!

(people screaming)

hurry back!

francois: at times like these, when no common man could get the job done,

it was hercule to the rescue!

okay, come on! get out! get back! come on! get back!

(yelling)

come on!

(yelling continues)

(all cheering)

hercules! hercules, we owe you a debt of gratitude that can never be repaid.

hercules.

i had you wrong. you are a living legend.

(scoffs) and a hero in the true sense of the word.

i just try to help people the best i can.

to heroes! all: to heroes!

francois: his life was a testament to bravery and honor.

hercule was the hero for the common man.

he gave hope and promise.

(panting) i had no idea

he was so... impressive.

to free the downtrodden of france, we must all become the heroes!

you're not listening! ow!

you are foolish and lazy.

(sniffs) and you stink.

not worth trying to save. (sniffing)

allow me to show you what makes them this way, ma cherie.

i think you will see

they are worth it.

gentlemen!

(both gasping) are you hungry?

sure. sure.

(sniffing) ahh!

mon capitaine.

(muffled speech)

the attack on the armory...

it was the chartreuse fox. here is his signature.

more weapons stolen

to be used by those treacherous dogs against us!

i felt certain the fox was here in troyes.

finally, i have him within my grasp.

we shall meet yet, monsieur fox.

this i swear.

woman: fish! fish cakes!

(vendor shouting)

(shouting angrily)

oh, francois. these peasants are revolting.

yes, they throw off the shackles of oppression!

no, i mean they are disgusting.

oh, yeah. that, too.

ah, bonjour! je m'appelle croissant.

(speaking french)

(french continues)

(speaking french) can you not say it in plain french?

oh. (clears throat)

hello. i am croissant, and i sell here...

the best seafood crepe in all of france.

do you have any specials?

ah! for you. (chuckling)

"catch of the day crepe!"

(sniffs) (groans)

oh! what is that?

well, if i knew what it is, that's what i'd call it.

you want some or not?

oh!

have we met?

hmm.

how can you live like this?

like, uh, what?

you think we have a choice?

(chuckles) you see why i have chosen to fight

for these less fortunate?

it is like hercule

helping the mortals.

life would lead people down the wrong path.

hercule was there to turn them around!

who? who?

why can't people just leave me alone to do my work?

because what we do...

whatever it is...

affects everyone around us.

is this how you want to honor icarus's memory?

by building weapons of destruction?

i don't care what hercules thinks,

but your next machine better not fail.

oh, no. there won't be a next one.

i'm going to dismantle it right now.

francois: hercule's friend daedalus had invented the megalith

for peaceful purposes, (growls)

but the evil oppressor turned it into a weapon of mass destruction!

(people screaming)

no. no!

you leave him alone!

(sinister laughter)

hercules: let's see what this silly, nutty thing can do.

time to fry, big man!

(gasping)

(groaning)

no!

(screaming)

francois: c'est magnifique.

oui.

is the heat of heroism starting to burn within you, robert?

oui.

is it hot or is it just me? (chuckling)

it's very hot. it is hot.

(grunting) madame!

you dropped your... (grunting)

stop it!

huh?

you dropped this.

oh. allez! hop!

(whistle blowing)

stop, you! fighting is strictly forbidden!

they're after you! they're after me?

they're after us! they're after us!

just for the halibut.

halt! halt!

fire!

"catch of the day crepe."

recently fresh.

hmm?

oh, ia, ia.

(knocking)

oh! oh, what was in these barrels?

you don't want to know.

(horses whinnying)

sacrebleu.

but of course.

this was dropped by the chartreuse fox during the attack on the armory.

i have my proof. prepare the men.

oui, mon capitaine.

now we shall see who is sly,

my dear fox.

(sniffs loudly)

(blowing nose and clearing throat)

all right. begin.

hercule inspired the common man.

they could not be gods, but they could be heroes.

and so can you! ouais! i agree! d'accord.

i'm an hero, you're an hero. you can be an hero, too.

now give us the money you promised. oui.

and if he gives it to you, how long will it last, huh?

a month? a week?

who cares? it is now that is important.

oui. she's right, mon ami.

the money will be gone, and you will still be poor.

oui. but i will be rich for awhile!

(both cackling)

oh, jean pierre.

(chuckles)

you're silly, confused, deluded!

you don't know that greed for material can lead to a wealth of trouble.

but hercule... he did.

well, this place certainly has a lot of, uh, character.

francois: hercule's friend, the self-professed king of thieves,

could hardly believe his eyes.

oh, the fates have been kind.

i've died and gone to olympus. will you look at all this?

keep your voice down.

you and i could clean out this whole place in a couple of days, hercules.

would you desert a castle and leave all this behind?

what are you getting at?

whatever drove these people away...

did it in a hurry.

and it's still here. don't be ridiculous.

nothing's lived in here for centuries.

(chuckles)

(rumbling) whoa. whoa.

maybe "ridiculous" wasn't the right word.

(roaring)

back up slowly.

francois: autolycus's greed had led them into the lair of the serpent,

and again hercule faced impossible odds.

(roaring)

ooh.

if it doesn't eat us, it'll kill us with its breath.

ooh! ooh! ooh!

oh!

(grunting)

(cackling)

ooh! boy, you are good.

oh!

i think we scared it.

francois: vanquishing a never-ending parade of monsters

was all in a day's work for our hero.

(grunts)

(woman gasping) no!

(growling)

wow!

(growling)

don't go anywhere.

those are just stories.

we live in the real world.

if you are born poor, you die poor.

it does not have to be that way.

why do you care if we are, more or less, miserable?

you're right.

before i heard of the chartreuse fox,

i did not care.

now i would give all that i have

to bring freedom to the people of france.

even if he did exist,

all you have given us so far is words.

is money all that has meaning to you?

i will prove that i care about the révolution.

if proof is money, than you shall have it.

(indistinct chattering)

she's getting something.

francois: what is it? gold? money?

something in a bag. i cannot tell.

well, i guess we did it. no?

it was... brilliant.

even herculean, huh?

she's completely convinced i am the chartreuse fox.

c'est magnifique!

this is the greatest moment of our despicable criminal careers!

(guffawing) oui. to us!

to us! to us!

(chuckling) oh, ia, ia, ia.

she completely believes that...

i am the chartreuse fox.

(laughing)

all i need is one more tale of héroisme.

you two swear allégeance to the révolution and to me.

lady marie gives us her very last franc for the révolution.

then we hide it with the rest of our stash and disappear!

(both laughing)

oh, robert.

i have to salute you.

this scam of yours, it is magnifique!

allez!

here she comes.

ooh! ooh!

very good, mes amis.

prepare for the coup de gráce.

hmm. francois.

what "hmm"? this is no time for "hmm, francois."

(sighs) i was thinking about hercule...

and the greek philosopher.

ah, no. oh, brother!

aristotle said,

"plato is dear to me,

"but dearer is the truth."

meaning? maybe what we are doing is wrong.

(sighs) no, no! nobody gets hurt but the rich.

i don't know. it just does not feel right.

robert,

do not blow this for us!

i have returned

with a token of my sincerity.

this broach has been in my family for, oh, centuries.

you, uh, have nothing to prove.

ah, but i do...

for myself.

this will help bring relief to those

who suffer at the hands of the aristocracy.

(kisses)

this certainly will ease our... their pain.

my pain! no, my filthy friend!

you must make décision!

are you going to return to a life of crime,

or are you going to join forces with the chartreuse fox and the révolution?

well, now, let us think.

either we take your money and go on with our lives,

or we join forces with a fictitious hero against an unbeatable foe.

(scoffs) that is a tough one, okay?

hercule have a tough decision, too...

he would sacrifice all that makes him invincible

to devote himself to the one he loved...

serena, the last of the golden hind.

who? who?

francois: serena was half-woman and half-deer:.

a product of two worlds, yet not fully of one,

much like hercule.

and he lost his heart to her.

(chuckles) that is still a miracle to see.

when you're the last of your kind,

sometimes a little miracle helps to survive.

um...

i've come to ask you

to marry me.

to allow this marriage to take place,

the gods have decided that you must make a small sacrifice.

they want you to surrender your strength,

your power.

it wouldn't stop me from helping people.

you can't take my heart.

that is a pity, but i suspect your fervor to aid mankind

might diminish once reality sets in.

so, what's it to be?

you lose her, you lose your powers.

this is a limited-time offer. you need to choose now.

i choose serena.

i win. no! i win.

(mocking) ooh!

nothing like a brotherly embrace.

(screaming)

(sinister laughter)

(laughing continues)

we ask the force...

that created the sun, the earth...

to bless this union,

make us one,

inseparate,

always.

always.

francois: true héroisme comes not from power,

but from a man's heart and courage.

i will join the chartreuse fox!

vive la révolution! pour liberté, égalité, fraternité!

no.

for the lady.

(grunts) i would have said it first, but he beat me to it.

well, francois, you won your bet.

bet? bet?

whoa!

we wagered...

that he could find the hero within you both.

and he did. (chuckles)

(francois clears throat)

to you both, i present

your champion...

patriote, révolutionnaire:.

and a really nice man.

oh!

the chartreuse fox!

(both gasping) you?

oui. i am the fox.

i told you he was real, huh?

(both laughing)

very good. put me down. thank you! merci. all right.

now that we are one, we must find away to finance the révolution.

to free all of france will be expensive.

my driver...

he's on his way with my family fortune.

i will give it all to you. yes!

(muttering) it's too much. you must not.

your générosité will be remembered by those who struggle for freedom.

(chuckles) he will be here any moment.

(whispering) what are you doing?

(gasps) mon dieu. (horse whinnies)

it is the soldiers. you have been discovered.

(screams) what? how... (babbling)

(shouting)

hurry! inside the trunk!

(both grunting)

shh. be quiet until they've gone.

(all grunting) jean pierre: ouch! would you move your knee?

robert: i can't. there's a sword in my back.

at least i hope it's a sword. francois: be quiet! keep still.

someone is coming. (footsteps approaching)

lady devalle: i told you, there's nobody here. (clattering)

you must believe me. please!

you are making a terrible mistake!

did they go? i think so.

(grunting) oh, no. i think the lid is stuck. oh! marie!

(all shouting)

robert: let's get out of here. push, huh?

francois: little help, s'il vous plaít (grunts)

(groans) where is marie?

where are the soldiers? where is our loot?

(frustrated grunting) she has tricked us!

wait.

ah.

outfoxed by the fox.

francois: what do you mean?

this.

(sighs)

(chuckles)

(laughing)

vite! vite!

halt!

please to step outside, mademoiselle.

lady devalle.

capitaine gerrard.

we meet again.

what is it this time?

i believe you dropped this

at the armory two nights ago.

oh. claude!

(horse whinnies)

in the name of the king,

i place you under arrest!

what is the charge?

the charge,

my dear fox,

is treason!

(gulps)

ah, this is just great.

now i'll never get my money back.

your money? our! i meant to say "our money." our.

well, don't forget that.

come on, let's go. i'm right behind you.

you are going to abandon her?

uh... yeah. that's what we're going to do. yes, that's right.

perhaps i'm nothing but a deuce in the card game of life,

but there comes a time when one must do the right thing.

like what? like saving her.

oh, i knew it. he's in love! it is not that.

it is what she stands for.

she's fought for the rights of the oppressed, for people like us.

she's surrounded by guards. a-ha. and what would hercule do in a situation like this?

hercule! that is it! he has gone out of his mind!

oh, poor robert. the stress, the heat.

he has, how you say... freaked out!

the chartreuse fox,

lady marie devalle,

has been found guilty of treason!

(crowd gasping) the penalty is death.

we should go down there immédiatement and commit suicide.

oui. d'accord. we should take on the entire armee

for that blue-blooded woman who has just stolen our last franc.

you bet.

it is the only way we get our money back.

(growls)

(grumbling in french)

any last words?

vive la france! vive la révolution!

crowd: (shouting) vive la france!

man: long live the chartreuse fox!

perhaps i wait over there. don't panic now, francois.

this isn't panic. i only like fights that are choreographed.

this is too much the real thing.

let this be a warning for all those

who would defy the king.

(lock clasps)

oh! it's too late!

(gasps)

oh! nice shot! fancy!

oh, merci.

seize them!

whoa!

jean pierre!

merci!

déjá vu? it does seem familiar.

alors!

(crowd gasping)

man: did you see that?

bonjour.

ah. c'est vous.

(man yells)

you need help, monsieur.

ha, ha! i was kidding.

(speaking french) (screaming)

(all yelling) francois: oh, i don't like this.

(groaning)

ah, pas mal.

hoo-hoo!

uh-oh!

alouette, gentille alouette

alouette, je te plumerai

oh, that hurt so much!

robert! (yells)

come on! (hooting) ha, ha!

(whispering indistinctly)

au revoir, fox.

no!

is like hercules, non? oui.

two heads for the price of one.

i'm back. (grunting)

(crowd gasping)

merci.

but of course, mademoiselle.

man: there they are! uh-oh.

(groans)

i will enjoy this,

my dear fox.

only if you enjoy defeat, gerrard.

ooh! look, a franc!

thank you, my friend. my pleasure.

shall we, uh, help her? no. it is her fight now.

that's true. okay.

(yells)

(mocking laughter)

she's good, no?

(ferocious yell) yah!

oh, no!

capitaine!

(moaning) oh, not the face!

please... make it quick.

no, i will do even better.

(whimpers)

your shame will be to live and to spread the message...

that the chartreuse fox...

will fight for the people...

as long as there is injustice in france.

(all cheering)

(shouts)

(whimpers)

oh.

pardon. pas de quoi.

merci. merci beaucoup. very nice. well, not really.

i didn't get the chance to thank you.

if you want to thank us, give us back our money!

oh, no, no, no.

francois, it is the people's money now.

ah, but don't worry. we'll survive.

"we"? well, you are coming with me, are you not?

well, try and stop us.

(grumbling)

(laughs) come here!

well, one for all and all for marie, huh?

francois?

both: francois?

huh?

hey! hey, come on!

(loud kissing) francois!

so, what are we going to call ourselves?

what about, uh, robert hood?

we attack the rich and give to the poor. it is too english.

oh, i know! how about the powerful rangers?

ha, ha! no. all right, this is it. this is it now.

imagine a banner... our portraits sewn in profile,

gothic block letters across the top...

and it says, "the four muskrats!"

muskrats! what... where... what? what? what?

it's cute! it's cute like a fox. it's furry!

it's friendly! what's the...

you're kidding about the money, right? it's a joke.

you're going to give us our money back, aren't you?