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♪ It's the most wonderful time
of the year ♪
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00:00:13,549 --> 00:00:15,550
♪ With the kids jingle belling ♪
3
00:00:15,551 --> 00:00:21,022
♪ And everyone telling you
"Be of good cheer" ♪
4
00:00:21,023 --> 00:00:22,657
Good evening, Mayor!
5
00:00:22,658 --> 00:00:23,670
Hello, boys!
6
00:00:23,671 --> 00:00:25,860
You look dashing in your top hats.
7
00:00:25,861 --> 00:00:27,727
Check your trouser flap, young man.
8
00:00:29,131 --> 00:00:32,066
I was wide open, guys. Thanks.
9
00:00:32,067 --> 00:00:38,350
♪ It's the hap-happiest season of all ♪
10
00:00:38,351 --> 00:00:39,818
You're looking well, Mayor.
11
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Thank you, butcher.
12
00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:42,387
Care for some ham?
13
00:00:42,388 --> 00:00:43,755
No ham for me.
14
00:00:43,756 --> 00:00:45,689
I'm already full with joy.
15
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:48,460
Beautiful wreath, you two!
16
00:00:48,461 --> 00:00:50,695
Much less tacky than last year.
17
00:00:50,696 --> 00:00:52,397
We're learning.
18
00:00:52,398 --> 00:00:54,065
It's a Douglas fir.
19
00:00:54,066 --> 00:00:55,433
Uhp!
20
00:00:55,434 --> 00:00:58,570
You missed some trash, waste gatherers.
21
00:00:58,571 --> 00:00:59,771
Yes, Mayor.
22
00:00:59,772 --> 00:01:01,473
This bag is very wet.
23
00:01:01,474 --> 00:01:03,441
♪ There'll be scary ghost stories ♪
24
00:01:03,442 --> 00:01:05,177
♪ And tales of the glories ♪
25
00:01:05,178 --> 00:01:10,582
♪ Of Christmases long, long ago ♪
26
00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:11,783
Ho ho ho, Mayor Jessica.
27
00:01:11,784 --> 00:01:13,552
Heard you were building us
a new library.
28
00:01:13,553 --> 00:01:15,853
You heard right, Lao Ban Santa.
29
00:01:17,056 --> 00:01:19,124
♪ There'll be much mistletoeing ♪
30
00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:20,926
♪ And hearts will be glowing ♪
31
00:01:20,927 --> 00:01:24,229
♪ When loved ones are near ♪
32
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♪ It's the most wonderful time ♪
33
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♪ Of the yeeeeeeeear ♪
34
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,538
Uh, Jessica?
35
00:01:33,539 --> 00:01:37,142
Well, look who decided to
finally roll out of bed.
36
00:01:37,143 --> 00:01:38,476
It's 5:00 in the morning.
37
00:01:38,477 --> 00:01:40,078
The day after Thanksgiving.
38
00:01:40,079 --> 00:01:42,547
I'm still more turkey than man.
Can this wait until later?
39
00:01:42,548 --> 00:01:45,483
No. Jessica Town is in full swing.
40
00:01:45,484 --> 00:01:47,752
The Christmas season
has officially begun,
41
00:01:47,753 --> 00:01:49,154
and there's no time to waste.
42
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,424
Eddie, your pajama flap is open.
43
00:01:52,425 --> 00:01:54,292
I know.
44
00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:56,528
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
45
00:01:56,529 --> 00:01:57,796
♪ Fresh off the boat ♪
46
00:01:57,797 --> 00:01:59,331
♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪
47
00:01:59,332 --> 00:02:01,666
♪ If you don't know, homey,
now you know ♪
48
00:02:01,667 --> 00:02:03,001
♪ Fresh off the boat ♪
49
00:02:03,002 --> 00:02:05,403
♪ Homey, you don't know
where I come from ♪
50
00:02:05,404 --> 00:02:06,705
♪ But I know where I'm goin' ♪
51
00:02:06,706 --> 00:02:08,339
♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪
52
00:02:10,409 --> 00:02:11,409
Mmm.
53
00:02:11,410 --> 00:02:12,877
Thanksgiving leftovers are the best.
54
00:02:12,878 --> 00:02:15,580
You guys should have tasted my
pancakes with turkey gravy.
55
00:02:15,581 --> 00:02:18,051
Why would... He's a human sewer.
56
00:02:19,065 --> 00:02:22,520
Ooh. Our community park is
building an ice rink for the holidays.
57
00:02:22,521 --> 00:02:25,490
Ice skating in Florida... What an era.
58
00:02:25,491 --> 00:02:26,591
We should go together.
59
00:02:26,592 --> 00:02:28,326
We haven't gone
since the boys were born.
60
00:02:28,327 --> 00:02:30,762
Louis, it's 1999.
61
00:02:30,763 --> 00:02:33,398
It's the last Christmas
of the century...
62
00:02:33,399 --> 00:02:35,100
No, the millennium.
63
00:02:35,101 --> 00:02:37,168
It has to be perfect.
64
00:02:37,169 --> 00:02:40,739
I'm marking the occasion
with a stunning monument...
65
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:43,441
A life-size gingerbread
house on our lawn.
66
00:02:43,442 --> 00:02:45,009
Take a look at my prototype.
67
00:02:46,512 --> 00:02:49,647
Behold the flawless candy-cane gutters.
68
00:02:50,950 --> 00:02:52,684
Although, they'll be a bitch
to clean once the leaves fall.
69
00:02:52,685 --> 00:02:55,654
Jessica, instead of adding
to your list of holiday tasks,
70
00:02:55,655 --> 00:02:57,055
you should be subtracting.
71
00:02:57,056 --> 00:02:59,190
We lose you for
the whole month of December.
72
00:02:59,191 --> 00:03:01,293
Well, people expect a lot
from me at Christmas.
73
00:03:01,294 --> 00:03:03,595
My cards, my caroling solos,
74
00:03:03,596 --> 00:03:05,864
the boys with their unique
Christmas requests.
75
00:03:05,865 --> 00:03:08,300
Hey, boys, what do you want
for Christmas this year?
76
00:03:08,301 --> 00:03:09,301
Gift card.
77
00:03:09,302 --> 00:03:10,568
See?
78
00:03:10,569 --> 00:03:12,037
It gets simpler now
that they're getting older.
79
00:03:12,038 --> 00:03:13,738
Let's go skating.
80
00:03:13,739 --> 00:03:15,040
What if I get hurt on the ice?
81
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:17,709
What if somebody slams into me,
breaking my bones?
82
00:03:17,710 --> 00:03:19,577
Come on. Your skeleton? Strong.
83
00:03:19,578 --> 00:03:21,413
Can't risk it. Who would do all my work?
84
00:03:21,414 --> 00:03:23,315
The holiday perfection
I've become famous for
85
00:03:23,316 --> 00:03:24,316
would be ruined.
86
00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:25,817
Oh, I got to run.
87
00:03:25,818 --> 00:03:27,085
Tinsel goes on sale today,
88
00:03:27,086 --> 00:03:30,120
and I refuse to buy any
that's already been touched.
89
00:03:31,257 --> 00:03:34,893
Oh, no. Look at that huge bear.
90
00:03:34,894 --> 00:03:37,095
Quick! Drop the salmon and...
91
00:03:37,096 --> 00:03:38,596
Ugh. Read me in again.
92
00:03:38,597 --> 00:03:39,664
Ugh.
93
00:03:39,665 --> 00:03:40,899
Evan, go from your line about the river.
94
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:43,902
Stop whining. Emery needs our help.
95
00:03:43,903 --> 00:03:45,070
Thanks, Grandma.
96
00:03:45,071 --> 00:03:46,471
Let's go find
somewhere else to rehearse.
97
00:03:46,472 --> 00:03:50,075
It should always be about the family.
98
00:03:50,076 --> 00:03:53,578
Just like in this play,
"Wyoming Family."
99
00:03:56,182 --> 00:03:58,183
Way to tank those lines
so we could get out of this.
100
00:03:58,184 --> 00:03:59,651
Smart.
101
00:03:59,652 --> 00:04:01,453
Going through the motions.
That's my thing.
102
00:04:01,454 --> 00:04:03,288
Hey, guys.
103
00:04:03,289 --> 00:04:06,124
Do you mind hiding
my Christmas gift for Marvin?
104
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:07,826
All he does is snoop for presents,
105
00:04:07,827 --> 00:04:09,160
and I'd feel better if I kept it here.
106
00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:12,230
Sure, Honey. What'd you get him?
107
00:04:12,231 --> 00:04:16,501
It's... a maritime nutcracker.
108
00:04:16,502 --> 00:04:18,970
It combines his three favorite things...
109
00:04:18,971 --> 00:04:20,572
Snacks, the Navy, and wood.
110
00:04:20,573 --> 00:04:22,006
I'll be back later to wrap it.
111
00:04:22,007 --> 00:04:23,575
Thank you.
112
00:04:23,576 --> 00:04:25,410
There's
no way this dude can crack a nut.
113
00:04:25,411 --> 00:04:28,046
You'd be surprised by the amount
of force a lever can generate.
114
00:04:28,047 --> 00:04:29,080
It's physics.
115
00:04:29,081 --> 00:04:30,482
Nerd, please.
116
00:04:30,483 --> 00:04:32,050
Are you doubting me?
117
00:04:32,051 --> 00:04:33,684
Take this pistachio.
118
00:04:35,755 --> 00:04:38,323
See? Formidable... Like Mom's skeleton.
119
00:04:38,324 --> 00:04:41,326
Now, let's add a lever to the equation.
120
00:04:43,963 --> 00:04:45,597
Awesome.
121
00:04:45,598 --> 00:04:46,965
Levers.
122
00:04:46,966 --> 00:04:48,400
Let's go bigger.
123
00:04:48,401 --> 00:04:51,202
Now you're talking.
There's no stoppin' us now.
124
00:04:52,838 --> 00:04:54,038
We pushed him too far.
125
00:04:54,039 --> 00:04:55,206
It was the jawbreaker.
126
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,008
It says it right in the damn name.
127
00:04:57,009 --> 00:04:58,209
Relax, bro.
128
00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,611
We'll replace it before Honey finds out.
129
00:04:59,612 --> 00:05:00,644
How much could it cost?
130
00:05:02,114 --> 00:05:04,682
"Handmade in Germany by real Germans."
131
00:05:04,683 --> 00:05:06,718
It's $400!
132
00:05:06,719 --> 00:05:09,186
Why does Germany always
have to go over the top?
133
00:05:11,657 --> 00:05:13,958
Are those my Christmas cards?
134
00:05:13,959 --> 00:05:15,126
Dad did them for you.
135
00:05:15,127 --> 00:05:17,228
He seemed happy to use
the rest of his tuba stamps.
136
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,964
Went on a big rant about postage
going up again next year.
137
00:05:19,965 --> 00:05:22,600
Tubas don't represent Christmas.
138
00:05:23,569 --> 00:05:26,070
And he scribbled the addresses.
139
00:05:26,071 --> 00:05:28,473
Where's the elegant calligraphy?
140
00:05:28,474 --> 00:05:31,176
Stupid tuba hippo.
141
00:05:37,016 --> 00:05:40,452
What in the name of Lao Ban?
142
00:05:40,453 --> 00:05:42,520
Hey! What are you guys going?
143
00:05:42,521 --> 00:05:44,589
We decided to change things up.
144
00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:47,192
Yeah. The butcher gave us the idea.
Mmhmm.
145
00:05:48,294 --> 00:05:50,528
How about this sassy brass?
146
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:56,935
I'm out of cash.
147
00:05:56,936 --> 00:05:59,537
I spent it on Tina's gift...
A brown weave belt.
148
00:05:59,538 --> 00:06:01,573
The whole thing is belt holes.
149
00:06:01,574 --> 00:06:02,674
How 'bout you?
150
00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:03,842
I've got nothing.
151
00:06:03,843 --> 00:06:05,910
All my extra money
is tied up in mutual funds.
152
00:06:05,911 --> 00:06:08,112
We don't have anywhere close to $400
153
00:06:08,113 --> 00:06:09,247
to buy a new nutcracker.
154
00:06:09,248 --> 00:06:10,882
We have to tell Honey what happened.
155
00:06:10,883 --> 00:06:13,451
And risk getting in trouble and
losing our Christmas gift cards?
156
00:06:13,452 --> 00:06:15,420
I'm spending mine
on a certificate to Taco Bell
157
00:06:15,421 --> 00:06:17,689
so I can crush tacos whenever I want.
158
00:06:17,690 --> 00:06:20,859
Wait, you're using a gift card
to buy a gift card?
159
00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:22,026
You've got to spend money to make money.
160
00:06:22,027 --> 00:06:23,394
We're not telling Honey.
161
00:06:23,395 --> 00:06:24,362
We'll just do what I always do
162
00:06:24,363 --> 00:06:26,197
when I make a mistake... Cover it up.
163
00:06:26,198 --> 00:06:29,133
I don't know. Sounds delinquent.
164
00:06:29,134 --> 00:06:32,270
Sure. My way sometimes gets
messy, but it always works out.
165
00:06:32,271 --> 00:06:34,205
I've broken plenty of things
and never gotten caught.
166
00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:36,139
You think that's your original watch?
167
00:06:36,909 --> 00:06:39,878
That watch was a birthday gift
from my pen pal in Ecuador.
168
00:06:39,879 --> 00:06:41,212
Well, this one's from Sears.
169
00:06:41,213 --> 00:06:43,681
I don't know. Seems wrong.
170
00:06:43,682 --> 00:06:46,518
Evan, think about all the stress
confessing would cause everyone.
171
00:06:46,519 --> 00:06:49,521
Honey? Mom?
172
00:06:49,522 --> 00:06:51,289
You want to ruin Christmas?
173
00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:53,224
Okay.
174
00:06:53,225 --> 00:06:54,324
Let's do it your way.
175
00:06:55,928 --> 00:06:58,196
Also, what happened to my old watch?
176
00:06:58,197 --> 00:07:00,264
Long story short, it's in Trent's dog.
177
00:07:02,468 --> 00:07:03,768
Oh, hey.
178
00:07:03,769 --> 00:07:06,104
You see how I, uh, knocked out
all the Christmas cards?
179
00:07:06,105 --> 00:07:07,301
I sure did.
180
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,574
Great. Then let's lace up
some steel and hit the rink.
181
00:07:09,575 --> 00:07:10,742
I packed some singles,
182
00:07:10,743 --> 00:07:13,077
so maybe we can tip our way
into a Zamboni ride.
183
00:07:13,078 --> 00:07:14,345
No Zamboni.
184
00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:17,981
I have to stay and fix
everything you did wrong.
185
00:07:20,619 --> 00:07:22,120
I seal each one with a kiss.
186
00:07:22,121 --> 00:07:24,022
Nobody knows, but I know.
187
00:07:24,023 --> 00:07:26,057
Okay.
188
00:07:26,058 --> 00:07:27,392
I think you're going overboard.
189
00:07:27,393 --> 00:07:29,827
I think you should leave
Christmas to the professionals.
190
00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:31,195
You thought I had little time before?
191
00:07:31,196 --> 00:07:32,764
Now I have no time at all.
192
00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:34,966
I mean, look at this calligraphy.
193
00:07:34,967 --> 00:07:37,302
It could have come
straight from the Vatican.
194
00:07:40,537 --> 00:07:44,503
You're redoing the envelopes just
because I used the wrong stamps?
195
00:07:44,504 --> 00:07:46,471
I don't see what the big deal is.
196
00:07:46,472 --> 00:07:48,974
My Christmas cards
kick off the holiday season,
197
00:07:48,975 --> 00:07:51,209
and everyone expects perfection from me.
198
00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:54,079
Okay, I knew you were
particular about Christmas...
199
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,247
Particular?
200
00:07:55,248 --> 00:07:57,516
I've been fine-tuning
the details for years.
201
00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:59,084
I don't improvise.
202
00:07:59,085 --> 00:08:02,788
This is Christmas,
not some sleazy jazz concert.
203
00:08:02,789 --> 00:08:03,789
Understood. I just didn't know
204
00:08:03,790 --> 00:08:05,490
it went all the way down to envelopes.
205
00:08:05,491 --> 00:08:06,692
But now that I know, I can help out,
206
00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:08,093
and then we can go skating.
207
00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:09,961
I don't think that's a good idea.
208
00:08:09,962 --> 00:08:11,897
Let's see... stockings need
hanging, wine needs mulling.
209
00:08:11,898 --> 00:08:13,732
Come on. How hard could it really be?
210
00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:14,700
Okay. You want to help?
211
00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,835
You just drew gingerbread house.
212
00:08:18,171 --> 00:08:19,771
What? But that's your showstopper.
213
00:08:19,772 --> 00:08:21,206
Well, you said all this was easy, right?
214
00:08:21,207 --> 00:08:23,241
The grand unveiling is set
for the end of the week.
215
00:08:23,242 --> 00:08:24,775
It's B-Y-O-E-N.
216
00:08:25,778 --> 00:08:27,813
Bring your own eggnog.
217
00:08:27,814 --> 00:08:29,380
Oh.
218
00:08:30,222 --> 00:08:32,823
You want me to work at the mall
as a Christmas elf?
219
00:08:32,824 --> 00:08:35,353
Yep. All you got to
do is fill out that application.
220
00:08:35,354 --> 00:08:36,521
Under emergency contact,
221
00:08:36,522 --> 00:08:38,557
put Cindy Crawford. See what happens.
222
00:08:38,558 --> 00:08:40,524
Why would I ever want to do this?
223
00:08:41,899 --> 00:08:44,896
Well, for starters,
it'll help your acting career.
224
00:08:44,897 --> 00:08:47,365
Think of all the great
character work that you'd do.
225
00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:49,568
I heard that "The Mummy's"
very own Brendan Fraser
226
00:08:49,569 --> 00:08:51,036
got his start as a mall elf.
227
00:08:51,037 --> 00:08:52,437
You'll also get a 30% mall discount
228
00:08:52,438 --> 00:08:53,572
that we can all share.
229
00:08:53,573 --> 00:08:55,107
Think about it.
230
00:08:55,108 --> 00:08:56,708
Just like that, a $400 Christmas gift
231
00:08:56,709 --> 00:08:58,176
becomes $280.
232
00:08:58,177 --> 00:09:00,645
You broke Honey's nutcracker,
didn't you?
233
00:09:00,646 --> 00:09:02,314
It was his quick math, wasn't it?
234
00:09:02,315 --> 00:09:03,515
Fine. We broke it.
235
00:09:03,516 --> 00:09:05,183
But even with my job at Cattleman's,
236
00:09:05,184 --> 00:09:07,285
we still can't afford to buy a new one.
237
00:09:07,286 --> 00:09:08,787
And I don't meet the age
238
00:09:08,788 --> 00:09:10,122
and height requirements for elf duty,
239
00:09:10,123 --> 00:09:12,624
which feels backwards,
but hey, rules are rules.
240
00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:15,460
Sorry, guys, but this isn't my fight.
241
00:09:15,461 --> 00:09:16,428
Wait.
242
00:09:16,429 --> 00:09:17,429
What about what Grandma said
243
00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:18,563
about doing things for the family?
244
00:09:18,564 --> 00:09:20,866
Come on, Emery. Your brothers are down.
245
00:09:20,867 --> 00:09:22,434
It's Christmas. Help us out.
246
00:09:22,435 --> 00:09:23,602
For the family.
247
00:09:23,603 --> 00:09:25,580
Okay. For the family.
248
00:09:25,581 --> 00:09:26,972
My man!
249
00:09:26,973 --> 00:09:28,273
Hey, while you're there,
250
00:09:28,274 --> 00:09:30,008
do you mind putting in
a good word for me with Santa?
251
00:09:30,009 --> 00:09:31,742
It's been a real
up-and-down year for me.
252
00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:34,880
How's it coming?
253
00:09:34,881 --> 00:09:36,815
Awfully messy.
254
00:09:36,816 --> 00:09:38,216
Well, it's this damn frosting.
255
00:09:38,217 --> 00:09:40,719
It's basically concrete...
Solidifies instantly.
256
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,854
Doesn't bode well for the real thing.
257
00:09:42,855 --> 00:09:44,122
Maybe I should take over.
258
00:09:44,123 --> 00:09:45,257
Nope. I've got it.
259
00:09:45,258 --> 00:09:47,259
Um, quick question...
I ate a lot of this.
260
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:48,425
How worried should I be?
261
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,732
Thank you all for coming.
262
00:09:53,733 --> 00:09:56,168
It is good to show interest
in your local government,
263
00:09:56,169 --> 00:09:57,803
even though this isn't a democracy.
264
00:09:57,804 --> 00:10:00,038
The butcher's influence is spreading,
265
00:10:00,039 --> 00:10:02,741
first with the tuba music
and then with the ugly signs.
266
00:10:02,742 --> 00:10:04,476
Yeah, and then you reward him
with a contract
267
00:10:04,477 --> 00:10:06,077
to build our new library?
268
00:10:06,078 --> 00:10:07,279
Yes, our beautiful new library
269
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,480
that will be filled
with only one book...
270
00:10:08,481 --> 00:10:09,548
My novel... yes.
271
00:10:09,549 --> 00:10:11,550
Oh! This is too much for a meat vendor!
272
00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:14,653
Exactly. Once that simple
butcher sees how hard it is,
273
00:10:14,654 --> 00:10:17,022
he'll quit, and then I, your mayor,
274
00:10:17,023 --> 00:10:18,490
will come in and save the day.
275
00:10:18,491 --> 00:10:20,625
But what if he pulls it off?
276
00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:22,727
Please. That would take a miracle.
277
00:10:22,728 --> 00:10:24,529
We live in a town where
it's Christmas year-round.
278
00:10:24,530 --> 00:10:26,665
Miracles happen all the time.
279
00:10:30,102 --> 00:10:31,903
Big shift at Cattleman's today.
280
00:10:31,904 --> 00:10:33,271
- Sold a guy some ribs...
- Mm.
281
00:10:33,272 --> 00:10:34,377
- ...and my socks.
- Ugh.
282
00:10:34,378 --> 00:10:36,041
What? You know what?
283
00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:37,309
We need money. I don't want to know.
284
00:10:38,277 --> 00:10:39,845
There he is.
285
00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:41,947
How was your first day at work, champ?
286
00:10:41,948 --> 00:10:43,215
It was awful.
287
00:10:43,216 --> 00:10:45,250
Elfing's the worst.
288
00:10:45,251 --> 00:10:46,728
Awful, like, in a good way?
289
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,287
There was an endless line
of people, parents shoving,
290
00:10:49,288 --> 00:10:50,322
babies crying.
291
00:10:50,323 --> 00:10:52,290
And Santa's no picnic, either.
292
00:10:52,291 --> 00:10:54,492
"Hey, elf! I said skim milk."
293
00:10:54,493 --> 00:10:56,034
Emery, this sounds terrible.
294
00:10:56,035 --> 00:10:58,096
Emery? Who's Emery?
295
00:10:58,097 --> 00:10:59,903
My name's Jingles now.
296
00:10:59,904 --> 00:11:01,399
I'm gonna go to bed.
297
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,654
I hate myself.
298
00:11:04,537 --> 00:11:06,649
We can't let him go back there.
299
00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:09,140
Hey, this is what you
signed up for, remember?
300
00:11:09,141 --> 00:11:12,310
You knew my way could get messy,
but it works.
301
00:11:12,311 --> 00:11:16,981
If Santa's drinking skim,
what chance do any of us have?
302
00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:20,418
So, we got to make this, but life-size?
303
00:11:20,419 --> 00:11:22,420
She's got a rain shower
in the half-bath.
304
00:11:22,421 --> 00:11:24,199
You don't make anything easy,
do you, boss?
305
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,924
I give you three days
of vacation a year.
306
00:11:25,925 --> 00:11:27,025
That's pretty easy.
307
00:11:27,026 --> 00:11:29,828
And I'm easy on the eyes.
That's two easys.
308
00:11:29,829 --> 00:11:30,896
How come you stopped screaming
309
00:11:30,897 --> 00:11:32,397
and banging your head against the walls?
310
00:11:32,398 --> 00:11:33,732
Is everything okay?
311
00:11:33,733 --> 00:11:35,634
Everything's great. Some might say easy.
312
00:11:35,635 --> 00:11:36,902
Whoa. That's three.
313
00:11:36,903 --> 00:11:38,236
What's that smell?
314
00:11:38,237 --> 00:11:39,804
We got some fresh gingerbread
cooking in the oven...
315
00:11:39,805 --> 00:11:40,864
Homemade recipe.
316
00:11:40,865 --> 00:11:42,674
Trent's gonna help me start
throwing up some walls.
317
00:11:42,675 --> 00:11:45,230
Oh, my God. It's a Christmas miracle.
318
00:11:45,231 --> 00:11:47,445
I told you. It's not that hard.
Anyone could do it.
319
00:11:47,446 --> 00:11:48,511
Really?
320
00:11:48,512 --> 00:11:51,549
So, then you'd be okay if
I moved the unveiling up to,
321
00:11:51,550 --> 00:11:52,651
say, tomorrow?
322
00:11:52,652 --> 00:11:54,619
Give the neighborhood a few extra days
323
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:56,154
to enjoy your handiwork.
324
00:11:56,155 --> 00:11:57,622
Uh, tomorrow?
325
00:11:57,623 --> 00:11:59,591
That's, like, one day from now.
326
00:11:59,592 --> 00:12:01,115
Oh, unless you can't handle it?
327
00:12:01,116 --> 00:12:02,827
Nope. We've got it.
328
00:12:02,828 --> 00:12:04,729
If we can handle Catfish
Wednesdays at Cattleman's,
329
00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:05,881
we could handle anything.
330
00:12:05,882 --> 00:12:06,961
I'm sure you can.
331
00:12:06,962 --> 00:12:09,567
I can't wait to see
how your homemade recipe
332
00:12:09,568 --> 00:12:12,732
accounts for Florida's
relentless swamp humidity.
333
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:17,042
I'll be honest, boss...
No way this gingerbread house
334
00:12:17,043 --> 00:12:18,108
can be built by tomorrow.
335
00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:20,845
And I say that as a ginger
myself... one who eats bread.
336
00:12:23,816 --> 00:12:26,217
Alright, bro. You loose?
337
00:12:26,218 --> 00:12:27,218
Need another Tic Tac?
338
00:12:27,219 --> 00:12:28,953
I can't go back out there.
339
00:12:30,189 --> 00:12:31,823
It's almost over.
340
00:12:31,824 --> 00:12:33,358
I'm picking up another shift
at Cattleman's,
341
00:12:33,359 --> 00:12:35,927
and Evan's closing a deal
right now as we speak.
342
00:12:35,928 --> 00:12:37,529
We're all in this together.
343
00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:38,563
For the family.
344
00:12:38,564 --> 00:12:40,031
For the family.
345
00:12:40,032 --> 00:12:42,633
Now go out there and throw
some kids in that old man's lap.
346
00:12:44,904 --> 00:12:47,372
Hello, good sir. Nice location.
347
00:12:47,373 --> 00:12:50,207
Donations for the Toys for Tots
bin are right over there.
348
00:12:51,978 --> 00:12:54,779
No, I'm actually here to trade
for one of your nutcrackers.
349
00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:56,314
Sorry, kid. Cash only.
350
00:13:01,821 --> 00:13:03,989
Hey, Evan! What are you doing here?
351
00:13:03,990 --> 00:13:06,024
I'm allowed to be here!
What are you doing here?!
352
00:13:06,025 --> 00:13:08,660
Uh... Wh... Marvin found
the stocking stuffers I got him,
353
00:13:08,661 --> 00:13:10,962
so I just had to come get
some aftershave.
354
00:13:10,963 --> 00:13:12,931
Thank God you guys
are hiding his main gift.
355
00:13:12,932 --> 00:13:15,667
You are gonna make
his Christmas morning.
356
00:13:15,668 --> 00:13:17,102
You know the Huang brothers...
357
00:13:17,103 --> 00:13:19,504
Always dependable, rock steady.
358
00:13:19,505 --> 00:13:21,172
Oh, well, someone
should tell Emery that,
359
00:13:21,173 --> 00:13:23,008
because that kid is in pieces.
360
00:13:25,244 --> 00:13:27,612
I just saw him wiping his tears
with a paper snowflake.
361
00:13:27,613 --> 00:13:30,515
Anyway, I will come by later
to wrap that gift.
362
00:13:46,065 --> 00:13:47,918
How'd it go with the Beanie Babies?
363
00:13:47,919 --> 00:13:49,819
Fine. It went fine.
364
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:52,003
Emery doesn't have to work
as an elf anymore.
365
00:13:52,004 --> 00:13:53,766
Really? That's great news!
366
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,140
So, how much did you get for them?
367
00:13:55,141 --> 00:13:57,074
Is this a "pizza's on Evan" situation?
368
00:13:58,631 --> 00:13:59,978
I stole the nutcracker!
369
00:13:59,979 --> 00:14:01,378
Aah! I'm too pretty for jail!
370
00:14:06,419 --> 00:14:08,720
This is one high-class garland.
371
00:14:08,721 --> 00:14:11,990
Gar-land is where Garfield is from.
372
00:14:11,991 --> 00:14:13,558
Jessica! Hurry! I need you!
373
00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:15,897
I knew he didn't have it in him.
374
00:14:16,729 --> 00:14:19,097
Wow.
375
00:14:19,098 --> 00:14:21,413
It's worse than I thought.
376
00:14:21,414 --> 00:14:22,734
It's perfect.
377
00:14:22,735 --> 00:14:23,752
Perfect?
378
00:14:23,753 --> 00:14:26,738
This looks like a place where
gingerbread men go to O.D.
379
00:14:26,739 --> 00:14:28,760
No way.
380
00:14:28,761 --> 00:14:32,343
No, it represents the humble
spirit of Christmas...
381
00:14:32,344 --> 00:14:35,280
Before everything became
so over-the-top.
382
00:14:35,281 --> 00:14:37,415
Well, as tempting as it looks,
don't take a bite.
383
00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:38,817
It's all nails.
384
00:14:38,818 --> 00:14:40,351
Everyone loves Louis' idea.
385
00:14:40,352 --> 00:14:41,619
Scaling back.
386
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,854
Simple. Genius.
387
00:14:46,425 --> 00:14:48,093
I'm loving this music!
388
00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:49,727
And I'm loving this clapping!
389
00:14:50,996 --> 00:14:53,098
Constable Bryson,
390
00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:55,366
arrest those two for disorderly conduct.
391
00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:57,068
Sorry, ma'am, but you no longer
392
00:14:57,069 --> 00:14:58,603
have that kind of authority.
393
00:14:58,604 --> 00:14:59,991
You're not the mayor anymore.
394
00:14:59,992 --> 00:15:02,699
What? Well, if I'm not, then who is?
395
00:15:04,910 --> 00:15:06,511
I give you...
396
00:15:06,512 --> 00:15:08,346
your new library.
397
00:15:08,347 --> 00:15:10,882
What about all the money that's
supposed to make it look nice?
398
00:15:10,883 --> 00:15:12,750
I used it to build an ice rink.
399
00:15:14,553 --> 00:15:16,353
Yes!
400
00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:22,327
I'll admit, the time crunch
had me nervous.
401
00:15:22,328 --> 00:15:23,728
Couldn't get to all the bells
and whistles,
402
00:15:23,729 --> 00:15:25,897
but people love it.
403
00:15:25,898 --> 00:15:28,398
Thanks, Louis. You ruined my Christmas.
404
00:15:29,969 --> 00:15:32,937
Hey, you really should
get onto to this nog, Lou.
405
00:15:32,938 --> 00:15:35,306
It's only 2,000 calories a glass.
406
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,243
Um... what are you doing
to my sit-down hairdryer?
407
00:15:46,244 --> 00:15:49,295
Making a joke out of something
you love, like you did to me.
408
00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,950
Jessica, I thought you'd be
happy with my gingerbread house.
409
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,418
Please.
410
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:54,920
You built a shack.
411
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,689
Look, I know it's not Princess
Jasmine's Arabian fortress,
412
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,157
but everyone loves it.
413
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:00,383
Isn't that all that matters?
414
00:16:00,384 --> 00:16:02,461
Christmas is my holiday.
415
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,029
It has to be perfect.
416
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,732
Not quickly pushed through,
not scaled back... perfect.
417
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,901
Well, you know what a perfect
Christmas is to me?
418
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,235
Spending time with you.
419
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,239
The chair looks beautiful.
420
00:16:18,902 --> 00:16:20,679
What came over you, man?
421
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,747
I've never stolen anything in my life...
422
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:25,817
I mean, a few hearts, sure,
but never a piece of property.
423
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,718
Shh! Lower your voice.
424
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,720
She's watching "Die Hard."
425
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,355
If Bruce Willis is on TV,
426
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:32,057
the rest of the world fades away.
427
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:34,159
Yippee-ki-ay!
428
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,260
I don't know what happened back there.
429
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:37,829
I saw the nutcracker. Honey showed up.
430
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,964
Emery was crying.
431
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,799
Next thing you know,
I'm outside the mall.
432
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,041
It's like I blacked out.
433
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,568
This is really hard-core.
434
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,704
Now we're sitting on a hot nutcracker.
435
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:46,738
I'm gonna have to go on the run.
436
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:47,839
Start a new life.
437
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,418
This is all my fault.
438
00:16:49,419 --> 00:16:51,639
I was the one who pushed you
to do things my way.
439
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,428
You never told me to steal, Eddie.
440
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,556
We should have just told Honey,
like you said.
441
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:57,182
Well, it's too late now.
442
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,450
I'll have to wear a fake mustache
443
00:16:58,451 --> 00:16:59,751
until I can grow one on my own.
444
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,086
Let's just...
445
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,921
return the nutcracker
and come clean to Honey.
446
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,756
We're gonna be in so much trouble. No.
447
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,525
I'm taking all the blame.
448
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,959
What about the consequences?
449
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,160
Your Christmas gift card?
450
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:10,395
Yeah, I know.
451
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,898
I'm really hoping this scores
me some points with Santa.
452
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:14,966
Or Jesus. Whoever's listening.
453
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,968
Now, come on. Let's go call Honey.
454
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:21,973
Hans Gruber is actually
the hero of this story.
455
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:25,110
This must be what King Kong feels like.
456
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,204
You do this all day?
457
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:38,757
Put on cheap makeup and pick up trash?
458
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,560
Um, I did find an
almost-untouched BLT once,
459
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,061
so it's not always terrible.
460
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,329
Oh.
461
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,798
Look at all those couples
spending time together.
462
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,568
I mean, that's what Christmas
is all about.
463
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,903
Shame we can't join them.
464
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,838
We're too busy working around the clock,
465
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,673
picking up trash
so the town looks perfect.
466
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,280
How'd it go with Operation
Stolen Nutcracker Return?
467
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:05,450
Success. I told the vendor I was
cleaning it in Santa's workshop.
468
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,319
Everyone trusts a kid wearing bells.
469
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,687
Ha!
470
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,889
Isn't this wrapping paper perfect?
471
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,558
Navy blue?
472
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:16,293
Because the nutcracker's
clearly a naval officer.
473
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:19,898
Eh, you know what?
Marvin will appreciate it.
474
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,733
Yeah. About that gift...
475
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,502
We... Goodlooking jaws on this one.
476
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:25,770
Cherish him.
477
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,272
Ohh!
478
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,542
Thank you for keeping it safe, guys.
479
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:35,113
I don't know how you resisted
the urge to play with this guy.
480
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,515
You have more willpower than me.
481
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:39,351
Whoa, G-ma.
482
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,625
Why'd you bail us out?
483
00:18:40,626 --> 00:18:46,017
I overheard you were in trouble,
so I did it for the family.
484
00:18:46,018 --> 00:18:48,276
For the family.
485
00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:51,529
_
486
00:18:54,776 --> 00:18:57,569
Nice chimney. Peppermint bark?
487
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,661
It was a milk crate from the shed.
488
00:18:59,662 --> 00:19:02,607
I didn't mean to crap so hard
on your gingerbread house.
489
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:05,343
I was just worried that
Christmas would be ruined
490
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:06,578
if I didn't make it perfect.
491
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:07,758
It's what I'm known for.
492
00:19:07,759 --> 00:19:09,614
Christmas isn't about being perfect.
493
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,249
It's about being together.
494
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,484
We just want to spend it with you,
495
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,818
no matter how...
496
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,153
crappy it looks.
497
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,453
So, you see it, too?
498
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:22,827
I know you were just trying to
help when you wrote those cards.
499
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,463
Want to skate circles
around some teenagers?
500
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,298
Disrupt their make-outs?
501
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,901
Really? I thought you were
worried about getting hurt.
502
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,570
Fun fact... I'm good at everything I do.
503
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:35,206
Besides, what is there left to do?
504
00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:37,409
You built the gingerbread house,
505
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,778
and I see why everybody loves it.
506
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:40,845
Well, don't look too close.
507
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,714
I cut a few corners during construction.
508
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,949
There's a rat in here!
509
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,218
Boss, there's a rat in here!
510
00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:53,817
Yeah, 50 soft tacos, here I come!
511
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:56,420
Come on, Grandma.
512
00:19:56,421 --> 00:19:57,587
We're family.
513
00:19:57,588 --> 00:20:00,090
_
514
00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:04,494
Well, Emery, at least you have one.
515
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,337
Although, if we split it three ways...
516
00:20:07,338 --> 00:20:08,904
I'm spending mine at the spa.
517
00:20:09,684 --> 00:20:12,035
Oh, you look just like a candy cane.
518
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:14,771
How you feeling?
519
00:20:14,772 --> 00:20:17,140
That was a pretty gruesome fall
you took on the ice.
520
00:20:17,141 --> 00:20:18,642
Hey, at least it restored my faith
521
00:20:18,643 --> 00:20:20,540
in Orlando's medical response team.
522
00:20:20,541 --> 00:20:23,246
That ambulance came fast.
523
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:29,919
Oh, Louis.
524
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,156
You know these would have been
50% off tomorrow.
525
00:20:33,157 --> 00:20:34,957
- Jessica.
- They're perfect.
526
00:20:46,771 --> 00:20:49,039
Hold my hand. I don't want to fall.
527
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:53,276
Come on. You just push off to
the sides, and go... like this!
528
00:20:53,277 --> 00:20:54,144
- Oh!
- Aah!
529
00:20:54,145 --> 00:20:57,648
- My arms!
- Ooooooh.
530
00:20:57,649 --> 00:21:03,754
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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