All language subtitles for Youre Killing Me s01e03 The Copycat.eng

I don't care!

The drilling has been nonstop!

Well, it's affecting sales,
so it is my business!

[insects buzzing]

No...

No!

Look, somethin' ain't right.

How long does it take
to put in cable internet?

[insects buzzing]

Oh, you've been saying that
all week!

I've just had a conversation
with my lawyers.

[bug light zapping]

You keep this up,
and heads will roll.

Understand me?

Good!

Hey, what are you-

[electricity crackling]

[garbled cries]

[?]

[?]

[?]

[Allie] I thought we agreed

not to use emojis
in the outline.

They show tone.

You know we don't get paid
by the comma?

Because run-on sentences

are just so charming
and rebellious.

Commas slow down the read,

but whatever.

Honestly, I think it's ready.

Okay, well,

I can't look at it anymore.

[sighing]

Rest in peace, Nash.

I hope we did you justice.

Ship it.

[sighing] I tell you...

[sent email whooshing]
...the publishers,

they'd better love this.

It's been years
since I pulled an all-nighter.

I do my best work at night.

Oh, I believe that.

All right, now that
we are done with this,

I guess I am gonna have to go
to the town council meeting

this evening.

Oh, that sounds charming

in a "Children of the Corn"
kind of way.

It's boring as hell,

but I am the outgoing
honorary mayor,

and it is tradition
that I pass the baton.

Except in Founders Cove,
it's a golden rake.

What?

It's a clamming thing.

- [Allie's cell phone ringing]
- What's next, a seaweed sash

and an oyster crown?

[beeping to dismiss call]

Why have you been
skipping calls this week?

It's just telemarketers.

It's nothing.

You know,
maybe I will tag along

to this town meeting thing.

They go on for hours.

Trust me, you're gonna be
bored out of your skull.

Something tells me

they're gonna have
a lot to talk about.

[Allie] "Local car dealer
Burt McKerrin-"

Jeez, I bought my SUV from him.

"-found dead in his backyard.

It appears he died

when an electronic insect killer

fell into his outdoor spa.

His body was then-"

It was then moved
and posed nearby!

It's your first book, Allie,
it's exactly how Edgar died.

It doesn't say
how he was posed.

Okay, you know what,

the-the police
need to know this.

Okay.

[woman on phone] You've reached
the Founders Cove crime hotline.

You are the 18th caller-

[groaning] You know what,

it's gonna be much faster

if we can just drive there.

Dammit, my SUV is in the shop.

I can drive us.

I was supposed to meet Noah
for coffee anyway.

So...

coffee with Noah, huh?

Yup.

I'm, uh, surprised.

Why?

Come on.

Seriously?

What is all this crap?

[starter struggling]
She just needs a second.

Is it a new thing?

No, she always does this.

No,

I meant Noah.

Uh, yeah?

I guess?

- [starter chugging]
- Well, it's just

that you and Oliver seemed...

You know, I mean,
after the wedding...

when I interrupted you, and-

In bed?

Hmm... [clearing throat]

And now Noah?

We're just friends, okay?

Take a deep breath.

- [starter chugging]
- And Oliver?

Have you ever
heard of boundaries?

[car starting]

Ah, there she goes.

[motor revving]

[worker] Bring it down, further.

Okay, it's great

that the cable company
is upgrading the internet,

but it's taking forever.

"Forever"?
[laughing]

You've only been here a month.

Really?

Seems longer.

- Oh, hey, Ms. Chandler.
- Hey.

Give me five minutes?

[Andi] Yeah, no problem.

Jack, we need to talk
about Burt McKerrin.

Okay.

He was electrocuted
in a hot tub,

and then pulled from the tub

and posed on the ground.

You read the story.

No, I wrote the story.

That's how the victim

in my first Selena St. Cloud
novel got killed.

Well, that's a coincidence.

There were four stones
placed on the body,

weren't there?

[quietly] How do you know that?

Plato's four cardinal virtues.

The killer in my first novel

placed four smooth
basalt river stones

on his victim's body,

because the stones were purified
by the rush of water.

It was my "symbolic" period.

I see.

So, is this, like,

one of those copycat things?

Let's not
get ahead of ourselves.

We're still looking at leads,

but if this is related
to one of your books,

then I need to know,

have you had any problems
with anyone lately?

You mean, besides you?

[chuckling wryly] Good one.
No, like, any threats?

Any obsessed fans?

No. Mm-mm.

You're sure?

Mm. Completely sure.

Cross my heart.

Oh.

Well, in that case,

if you think of anything,

you let me know.

Okay.

Oh, also...

[whispering]
That name you gave me?

- Andi's mom?
- Yeah,

so I called in a favor
with a friend from the FBI.

I haven't heard back,

but I'll let you know.

[Allie] Sorry, Noah.

She's gonna have to take
a rain check.

Come on, we're going.

[Allie] Brakes, brakes, brakes!

[Andi] Paging Uncle Fester.

Okay, Norman is the president

of the Selena St. Cloud
fan club.

Wait, we're meeting
with one of your fans?

If there is a crazy person

who plans to become
Founders Cove's

first copycat killer,

Norman will know who it is.

How well do you know
this person?

He won a contest
a few years ago.

I picked him up,
I took him to coffee.

He stole the hairbrush
out of my purse,

which was a little strange.

Actually,
he just took the hair,

but he's a really sweet guy,
you'll see.

[novelty doorbell
of woman screaming]

Allison Chandler?

Hi, Norman.

Um, this is Andi, my new...

...whatever.

We need your help.

Anything you need. Please...

Please, come in.

[Allie] Thanks.

[classical music playing]

I love what you've done
with the place, Norman.

[Norman, from next room]
You're too kind!

How do you take your tea?

[quietly]
Do not eat or drink anything.

You are being paranoid.

Look at that bottle of arsenic.

I'm pretty sure it's real.

Milk and sugar,!

[Norman]
Your wish is my command.

Is... Is that...?

[Allie] Selena St. Cloud's
signature trench coat

from "Hemlock and Heartache".

Actually, it's my trench coat.

Norman won it
at a charity auction.

Technically, he stole it
from a charity auction.

Yeah.

That's totally normal.

Poisonberry tea
for my lovely guests...

Oh.

- Oh.
- Thank you.

- Okay.
- [Norman humming]

...and try the murder morsels,

they're a Baights
family recipe.

I'm sorry, did you say Bates?

Your name is Norman Bates?

B-A-I-G-H-T-S.

My mother had
a wicked sense of humor.

Is she down
in the fruit cellar?

[Allie laughs, forced]

I'm so sorry.

She has no manners,

so back to the murder-

That car salesman, yes.

I bought a car from him
a few years ago.

I think he ripped me off.

Oh, he rips everyone off.

Whoever killed him
would have to have

an insatiable
attention to detail,

to copy the murder
from your book,

right down to the four stones

of cardinal virtue?
[chuckling]

Which reminds me,

I have to show you something.

[footsteps receding]

[chuckles]

Ta-dah!

I only turn it on
when I have company.

[groaning] Eeee!

[clearing throat]
Can you think of anyone

who might have wanted to-?

A few people come to mind.

I'll make you a list...

...and it goes without saying,

if you'd like to lay low,

you could always stay here.

Oh...

[?]

Okay, I recognize
some of the names on this list,

Grayson Doyle.

He sends the strangest
Christmas cards.

Are you blind?

It's clearly Norman!

The bug zapper?

The bowl of polished stones?

I mean, don't you think
it's a little coincidental,

given what happened to McKerrin?

It is the signature
killing method

from my first novel.

Frankly,
I'd be a little offended

if he didn't have the bug zapper

or the bowl of rocks.

He bought his car
from McKerrin Motors,

and he said
that Burt ripped him off.

Trust me,
Norman wouldn't do anything

to hurt the Selena St. Cloud
franchise.

The guy adores me.

[Andi] Oh, yeah.

He adores you so much
he wants to wear your skin.

I did a background check
before I met him.

He's just... a little eccentric.

Oh, we're gonna be late
for the town meeting.

Come on, let's go.

[?]

All right, everyone,

before we start
our council meeting,

I have the great privilege

of overseeing
the transfer of power.

Tonight we will be welcoming

our newly elected
Honorary Mayor

and local meteorologist
on Channel 49,

Miss Connie Newsome!

[applauding]

[Martin] As per town bylaws,

the ceremony is not complete

without the passing
of the Golden Rake

from our outgoing
honorary mayor,

Allison Chandler.

[crowd applauding]

[Connie Newsome]
Thank you, Martin,

our long-time
Town Council Chair.

It was a close election,

and I know I have
big shoes to fill.

Size 11, right, Allison?

Thank you to all of you,

and here's to a future
filled with sunny skies!

[applauding]

[Martin] Thank you.

[Allie clearing throat]

[Andi whispering]
You didn't tell me

that there was an election,

and you lost
to the weather slut.

It was rigged.

[Martin] Now, everyone,
before we continue,

please bow your heads
for a moment of silence...

- [cat meowing]
- ...and remember our friend,

Burt McKerrin,

as well as our friend,
Nash Gilbert,

Allison Chandler's mentor.

Oh, and, uh, Brandon Hayes.

He wasn't from here,
he was just visiting,

but he was murdered here also,

at Allison Chandler's house.

[crowd murmuring]

Thank you, everyone.

On to town business.

Now, uh, look,
as most of you know,

we've been
in an economic downturn,

and, uh, Sealine Bank,
of all places,

is going to be moving its branch
to a newer facility...

[Andi] Isn't that the guy
from the mystery convention?

Martin Adams.

His grandfather started
Founders Chowder

in, like, the '40s.

Used to be a real hotspot,

then, uh, Martin took it over
a couple years ago,

poured every penny
he has into it.

...so planning the future,

your town council

has pushed for
an aggressive modernization

of town infrastructure,

starting with state-of-the-art,
fiber-optic internet!

[concerned murmuring angrily]

Martin!

You don't have a packed house
here tonight

because of the dang interweb!

Who's that?

Tammy Bustane,
real local buzzkill.

The cats,

they're the real brains
behind the operation.

[Melody]
Speak for yourself, Tammy.

Jennings Creek
installed fiber optics

in less than two weeks.

It's been going on
for over a month here.

It's killing business
at my bakery.

Melody Chopra,
she owns a bakery downtown.

Look, I have spoken personally
with Whitley Cable,

and Carl tells me that his crew

can get this done
within the week.

Carl?

My crew's working
around the clock

to get the job done, Mr. Adams.

- [cats meowing]
- What everyone here

wants to know

is what you're planning to do

about the recent murders
in Founders Cove.

[crowd agreeing] Yeah!

[Martin]
Our local law enforcement

is doing everything in its power

to track down
those responsible-

Uh, now,

it's great that some of you
are making more money

because we're becoming

the murder capital
of New England,

but the person that stands
to benefit the most

is Allison Chandler,

and frankly,

she should be
ashamed of herself.

Sales of Selena St. Cloud novels
have tripled,

and this latest murder?

Ripped from the pages
of her books.

[Melody] It's not her fault.

Can we get back
to the cable issue, please?

Okay, if it's not her fault,

then whose fault is it?

[Andi, quietly] You wanna
tell me who that guy is?

- [crowd arguing]
- He is... no one.

[Jack] All right, okay,
settle down, people, look...

police are investigating
the death from this morning,

all right?

At this moment,

we have no reason to suspect
an ongoing threat,

but of course,
if you see something,

please call us, okay?

[polite applauding]

Peter...

wait up.

We need to talk.

I've been calling you all week,
you haven't picked up.

Why are you so angry with me?

Oh, please, Allie.

Stupid doesn't become you.

Who gave you all the ideas
for those books, hmm?

The poison ring
in "Hemlock and Heartache"

The candlestick
in "Passion from the Ashes"?

Me!

Didn't you say
what I did was beneath you.

I was there for you,
and you know it.

We're not done.

[Martin] Lately,

we've been flooded
by city folks.

It used to be so quiet here
before they came.

You know?

[?]

[metronome ticking]

[playing Mozart's
"Rondo Alla Turca"]

[?]

[metronome ticking]

[slamming into keys]

[metronome ticking]

[Noah] No prints so far, Jack,
the place is clean.

[Jack] I'm not surprised.

"Love, Music and Homicide."

Title of your second book,
if I'm not mistaken.

Melody Chopra would normally

start her days at the bakery
at 5:00 a.m.

Today, she was a no-show,
because...

blunt-force trauma to the head.

Just like my book.

Just like your book...

Chopin's
"Nocturne in C-sharp minor."

Mm-hmm.

Wait, wasn't Norman
playing this?

- Who's Norman?
- Um, an acquaintance.

Norman's her obsessed fan.

And I thought

you didn't have
any obsessed fans.

He's not obsessed,
he's just enthusiastic.

Norman was playing
this piece of music

when we were at his house.

You went to his house?

Could you just-
Mm! Stop talking?

Time out. Is this Norman
someone I need to look at-

No, shh, everybody
just for one second!

Let me think.

The metronome.

You turned it off
when we got here,

but it was too fast.

Too fast for what?

Chopin's Nocturne
in C-sharp minor.

The tempo is Lento.

Excuse me?

Ten years of piano lessons.

If Melody was playing
with the metronome

at this tempo,

she wasn't playing
this piece of music.

Maybe the killer
changed the tempo.

Or...

maybe the killer
planted the sheet music

to make it look like the murder
came from Allie's book.

"To my biggest fan, Norman.

All the best,

Allison Chandler."

[?]

[Norman, excitedly] Ooh!

This is exactly how I pictured
the interrogation room!

Remember when Selena
was questioned

for the murder
of Colette Vandalay,

when she was wrongly accused
of Colette's murder

in "Love, Music and Homicide?"

Mister Baights,

where were you last night
around 9:00 p.m.?

Is this where
the hardened detective

pokes holes
in the poor suspect's story

until he finally breaks
and confesses?

This is serious.

We found your signed sheet music
at the crime scene.

A Chopin's "Nocturne-"

"Nocturne in C-sharp minor"?

Oh, yes, yes,
from chapter three, in book two.

Of course, yes!
It's my favorite.

And you were playing that

when Ms. Chandler
came to visit you.

I play it all the time.

You had an altercation

with a Burt McKerrin

at his dealership?

I did. I attended a St. Cloud
Soiree in Burlington,

and installed a fog machine
in my trunk.

McKerrin said
it invalidated my warranty,

but it was absolutely worth it.

We also found your fingerprints
on the stones

that were placed
on Mr. McKerrin's body.

[gasping]

Well, that's interesting,
isn't it?

Where were you last night,

and the night before?

You gonna book me?

[dramatically] Then it's true!
I have no alibi!

I did it!
Take me away, copper!

Mister Baights-

I have only one request.

What's that?

I want to call my lawyer-
Conrad Tiddle!

That's the lawyer

from the Selena St. Cloud
mysteries, isn't it?

[giggling]
He never loses a case!

Okay.

Can we now please agree

that there is plenty
of hard evidence?

Norman is a little delusional,

but he wouldn't hurt a fly.

Okay.

Sell me.

Okay, he's enjoying this
way too much.

He's not showing any signs
of stress or guilt,

and he was surprised

when Jack mentioned
the sheet music,

and the fingerprints
on the stones.

He clearly has no idea
how they got there.

[Norman shouting theatrically]
Take me away!

Throw the book at me,

lest I strike again!

- Hmm...
- Hmm.

The evidence against Norman
is solid,

plus he confessed,

so I have to take that
seriously.

Unless you think that

that gentleman
you were talking to

last night
after the meeting

is someone I should be
worried about instead.

Don't be worried.

All right.

Well, I hate to break up
the party yet again,

but we've got to go.

I hear and I obey.

[chuckling dryly] I wish.

[?]

Where are they headed?

[Noah] They didn't say.

Hmm.

So where are we going?

Back to Norman's house.

What the hell for?

Evidence that he didn't
kill anyone.

[Andi groaning]

[starting engine]

[?]

[Andi] Nice flashlight,
by the way.

Did you get that
in a Happy Meal?

[Allie, grumbling] Oh!
You know, it works, doesn't it?

[Andi] This is
breaking and entering.

[Allie] Grow a pair.

See?

It was open.

[Andi] What exactly
are we looking for

in here anyway?

I don't know, clues?

Isn't that what we do?

Everything in this house
is a clue!

Well then, you can wait
in the car.

[Andi] No!

Classic murder mystery faux pas
number one.

The first one to wander off

is always the first one
to get killed.

Look at this.

[both screaming]

Noah?

Look, before you get mad,

Jack made me follow you.

How did you get inside?

Mr. Baights gave me the key.

He seemed pretty excited
to have me poke around.

Well, you should see this.

[?]

Huh.

Looks like someone broke in.

I bet Norman
didn't even notice.

Well, I told Norman

someone broke into his house.

Which means

that they could have
stolen the rocks

and the sheet music,

and planted them
at the crime scene.

Mm-hmm.

Did Norman finally admit

that he didn't kill Melody
or Burt?

Mm-hmm. Well, not at first,

until I pointed out

that he was taking time away
from your writing,

and he gave us an alibi
just like that.

Okay, I'm gonna go get
a candy bar.

You want anything?

- No, I'm good.
- Good.

Okay.

How about a coffee?

High-test, police-grade?

Why not?

I know this is crazy,

but I... can't help thinking
that these murders are my fault.

Look, there's a lot
of bad actors out there,

and nothing you can do
changes that,

but don't forget,

what you do,

it's important.

Your work...

makes people happy.

Right?

That's what matters.

So...

what'd I miss?

- [clearing throat]
- [Noah] Confirmed

with the grocery store
over on Henniset Ave.

They remember seeing Norman
at the time of Chopra's murder.

Yeah? All right,

cut him loose, let him go,

and Noah...

make sure he leaves.

Yeah.

Okay, so if it's not Norman,

who's the prime suspect?

I don't know,
but whoever it is,

they're following
the order of Allie's books.

The killer copied the murders
in the first two.

What's the third one?

- "Whiskers in the Dark".
- "Whiskers in the Dark".

The cat lady gets whacked.

And that character
was based on Tammy Bustane.

She was at the town meeting
last night.

"Chandler wrote the murders,

the killer
just followed the script."

Oh, and this one.

"Plot twist,

the real killer
might be holding the pen."

Can you believe what
they're writing about me?

Can you please help me
go through book number three?

There's got to be a clue
in here somewhere.

[groaning] No.
I don't read my work.

Huh?

Once I send the manuscript,
I just move on.

Make an exception.

Fine.

[sighing] I lost
my favorite glasses again...

They're on your head.

I knew that.

Noah, we're on the move.

We're on a stakeout
at the cat lady's house.

Sounds exciting.

[chuckling]
Oh, you're serious?

You got any better leads?

No, not since
we cleared Norman.

I got nothing.

Andi was right,

nothing about this case
makes any sense.

Speaking of Andi,

you two are kind of chummy.

Oh, I was going to say
the same thing

about you and Allie.

[laughing]

This is so good.

I totally forgot that Selena
had a one-night stand

with the local sheriff.

Well done, Selena.

Uh... Allie?

[Allie] Mm-hmm?

Did you forget
that there's an attempt

on Selena St. Cloud's life

halfway through this novel?

Oh, yeah, right.

The B&E, right?

Yeah.

a masked assailant
breaks into her home.

Okay, so?

So isn't Selena St. Cloud
based on you?

[thunder rumbling outside]

Oh... Okay.

So not happy right now.

Um, let me get my flashlight.

[Andi] Flashlight?
We need a real flashlight!

Where's my phone?

[screaming]
Did you just see that?

No!

I'm calling 911.

[whispering]
You go find weapons.

Weapons?

Like what, a dictionary?

[groaning] Oh, God,
the cell tower must be down.

- [thudding]
- Ah!

That came from downstairs.

[Allie] Oh...

[door creaking open]

[Andi] Maybe

we should just lock ourselves
in the bathroom instead?

[Allie]
You might as well save time

and just
jump in the wood chipper!

[ping pong ball
skittering on floor]

[Allie] Look over there.

There!

[Andi screaming in combat]

- [man yelping]
- I got him! I got him!

- [Peter] Wait, wait, wait!
- Hit him with the bottle!

[Peter] Stop! Stop, stop, stop!

- Please, please!
- Peter?

What the hell
are you doing here?

[groaning]
I told you, we're not done.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
you two know each other?

Yeah, I'm her-

[roaring, pot clanking]

[Allie] Oh!

Norman! What the hell?

I saw the scoundrel
creeping through the bushes.

What were you doing
in my bushes?

I was worried about you.

[Andi] Rewind.

How do you two
know each other?

[sighing]

He's... He's, uh...
[clearing throat]

He's my ex-husband.

One of them.

[Andi] Oh.

I wasn't going to hurt anyone,
all right?

And she owes me money.

That is so not true.

I just went back

to grab a few
personal belongings.

Like what?

Like my wine collection,

and my snowblower!

Oh, I paid for that snowblower!

[Jack]
All right, all I need to know

is do you plan
on pressing charges.

Okay, if she won't,
then I will!

He broke into her house.

Okay.

What?

Okay, I know
this is not great timing,

but I'll need you
to come downtown

to take your statements.

Fine.

Okay.

Watch your head.

[car doors closing]

I'm okay, everyone,

thanks for asking.

[?]

[Peter] I told you,

Allie wouldn't pay me
what I'm owed,

so I did what I had to do.

You've been divorced
for over a decade,

she still pays you alimony?

That's right.

You've been arrested
before, right?

Harassment,

trespassing,

threats?

A car you purchased
at McKerrin Motors

was recently repossessed,
is that right?

Yeah, I tried
to work something out,

McKerrin wouldn't listen.

Plus, you had run-ins
with Melody Chopra

at town council meetings?

[scoffing]

I get it.

This has nothing to do
with breaking into Allie's.

You think I had something
to do with those two murders?

Run-ins with both the victims,

the killer clearly wants
to implicate Allie Chandler

through her novels.

Where were you Sunday night?

Where were you Monday night?

I stayed in.

Both nights.

Can anyone corroborate?

Nope.

Might want to contact
your lawyer, Mr. Altwhistle.

I can't afford a lawyer!

Allie left me high and dry!

She smiles like Sunday
and stings like Monday.

I pity the next man
that gets tangled in her web.

It's a witness statement,
not a book.

Just write what you saw.

My dear friend, I have penned

14 Selena St. Cloud
fan fic novels.

Not only
does this have to be perfect,

but it has to sing.

So, we've got enough
to hold him.

I know it looks bad,

but Peter has never been
physically violent.

Altercations
with both the victims,

no alibi at the time
of the murders,

plus... he clearly
has a problem with you.

What if the connections
to the books is all a cover?

Maybe the victims
are related somehow?

Noah ran a background check
on both of them.

No connections.

So...

Peter?

Please don't.

It's been a long night,

and the only sound
that I want to hear

is ice hitting
a tall glass of bourbon.

Okay,

but why do you put up
with his bullshit?

Peter was
this incredible playwright,

and I was a suddenly single mom

of a teenage boy.

My novels hadn't hit it yet,

and Peter always dreamed
of moving to New York City,

the theater scene,

and then...

I hit it big,

and instead of
being happy for me,

he just became resentful.

It took me years

to build up the courage
to leave him.

I just feel bad

that he sacrificed
his success for me.

But you know that
that's not true, right?

The funny thing is,

the dummy doesn't even realize

I could have stopped
paying alimony

a year after the divorce,

but I kept paying.

Why?

I don't know.

Guilt?

Listen to me, Allie,

It's time to kick this loser
to the curb.

Oh, I'm going to take
relationship advice from you?

For whatever reason,

this asshole
still has power over you,

and he's gonna have it
until you put your foot down.

Your success didn't deprive him
of anything.

I need you to know that.

My car's gonna be ready
in two hours.

and I'm going to go grab
some breakfast.

See you later,

and Allie,

not that it's
any of your business,

but Oliver and I text.

He's in New York, and I'm here,

so it's no big deal.

[Allie] Norman.

Thank you.

[knocking]

I need a ride back to my car.

It's near Ms. Chandler's house.

Come on.

Well, if it isn't
the great Allison Chandler.

[Martin chuckling smugly]

Hey there, Martin.

You know, I don't see you
at my restaurant anymore.

I've just been very busy.

I'll make sure to stop by.

Oh, yeah,
that's what everyone says.

You know, Allison...

I still remember

when this place was just
a sleepy little town.

People loved to...

well, to do this,

to sit down
across from each other

and break bread,

but since the flood of folks
from the city,

now we're the murder capital
of New England.

Sure sells a lot of books,
doesn't it?

Allison, I'm kidding.

[chuckling awkwardly]

Oh, you know how much I love
a good St. Cloud mystery, right?

Yeah...

You might even call me
a "Cloudy".

- Oh, you cloudy.
- Mm-hmm... yeah.

Well, enjoy your breakfast,
Allison.

Thank you, Martin.

[Connie] Oh, I almost
didn't recognize you.

You look terrible, Allison.

How you holding up?

I'm, uh,
doing the best I can.

If I were you, I would head up
to Sparkling Hills.

The retreat in Vermont?

It's the perfect place
to hide out

until this whole murder thing
blows over.

I heard Martin
was just there last month.

Poor guy,

he needed a little getaway

after the bank
turned him down for a loan,

but he came back
looking ten years younger.

You should try it.

I don't need to hide out.

Well, those bags
under your eyes

aren't gonna go away
on their own.

Ask for Elle,
she works miracles.

See ya.

Okay.

Thanks for the ride.

Yeah.

And, uh, if Ms. Chandler
needs a bodyguard...

...I'm happy to volunteer.

Yeah, I, uh, I think things
are gonna calm down,

now that the cops are watching
the cat lady's house 24-7.

If the killer can't kill
the cat lady,

- then what happens?
- I don't know,

I guess the killer moves on
to the next book?

Maybe,

but oh, my God!

Do you not remember
the last chapter

of "Whiskers in the Dark?"

Norman, I've read
so many books,

they're just blending together
at this point.

There's a second attempt
on Selena's life!

Someone tries to kill her
with a car bomb!

Oh, my God,

Allie's on her way to the shop
to get her car right now!

- Oh...
- Oh!

No, no,
this can't be happening.

[line ringing]

[Norman] This is a nightmare!

- [line ringing]
- [Norman] Oh, my God.

[Allie, on voicemail]
Hi, this is Allie Chandler...

Damn it, this woman
never answers her phone!

What's the point in having it!

What are you doing?

My queen needs me.

I'm coming with you.

[starter chugging]

Shit!

Here you go, Ms. Chandler.

Sorry for the wait.

It's been crazy around here.

I was so sorry
to hear about Burt.

Yeah, poor guy'd been
under a lot of stress.

All the drilling
that's been going on-

customers didn't want
to come in.

Mr. McKerrin even wrote a letter
to the town council.

Thank you. Bye.

[distant car engine roaring]

[tires screeching]

[Norman] There! There, there,
there, there, there!

- [brakes screeching]
- Ms. Chandler, stop!

Okay, try not to panic,

but we think
there's a bomb in your car!

The ending
of "Whiskers in the Dark!"

Someone tries to kill
Selena St. Cloud

with a car bomb!

You think that
the copycat killer

is trying to kill me?

Yes! If they're
following your books!

Andi, I'm exhausted.
I want to go home.

If the good lord
wants to take me,

he can take me
in a warm bubble bath,

not from a ridiculous car bomb.

- [roaring] No!
- [key fob chirping]

[exploding]

[gasping]

[indistinct conversation]

So, again,

you did not see
anyone suspicious?

I wasn't looking.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

I'm glad you're okay.

[Norman] The copycat killer
couldn't be attacked

without getting attacked...

You know,
if you hadn't warned me-

No! No, no, no.

Please, no public displays
of gratitude.

Norman was the one
who remembered the car bomb,

so you owe him your favorite
pair of underwear,

or toenail clippings,
I can't remember which.

Probably both.

Yeah, it's probably both.

[police radio, indistinct]

[Norman talking to police,
indistinct]

Hey, does it bug you

that the two people
who were killed

worked basically

across the street
from each other?

[Allie]
I hadn't thought of it.

Maybe because
they were both at home,

and not at work, when they died.

Burt McKerrin and Melody Chopra

both complained about
the cable construction downtown.

Everybody was upset
about the noise,

not just them.

Yeah, okay, but...

maybe it's about more than that.

The dealership is here, right?

Melody's bakery is there...

and what's
right down the street

from both of them?

The bank.

What if
all of this cable construction

is just a distraction?

Martin said

that the bank
is moving locations next month.

That building is super old.

A new location would probably
have better security.

Okay, good theory.

Sell me.

Okay,

all of those drills
and jackhammers

that the installers are using,

that seems like total overkill
for a simple cable upgrade.

[shouting] I got
a business to run here!

[Andi] Burt had
a short fuse, right?

He's had enough,

so he complains to the crew.

They placate him, for a while,

but he notices the big tools.

He starts asking
too many questions.

Maybe he threatens
to go to the police

and have them investigate.

Melody...

[car horns honking]

Melody works early mornings
at the bakery,

so maybe she saw something
she shouldn't have.

She gets suspicious,
she threatens to report them.

[Allie]
And if either one of them

had contacted the town council

or the police to complain,

they would need to be silenced.

But to divert suspicion,

the killer copies the murders
from your books.

And the tunnels
under the street

would go directly
under the bank.

[Andi] So they drill
through the floor,

they snatch the cash
from the vault,

without ever triggering
an alarm,

and all of that noise

is chalked up to a town-wide
fiber-optic upgrade.

And they're not working
right now,

so where are they?

Well, we need to tell Jack.

[wailing siren approaching]

I think he might already know.

Put out a BOLO
on a white Whitley Cable van,

heading out of Founders Cove.

Block all exits,
block all highways,

do it now.

Noah, start a canvass. Somebody
must have seen something.

Got it.

Start at the end of the street,
work your way back.

- You're with me.
- They hit the vault,

cleaned it out,

and they're gone.

- How long ago?
- Rebar's still warm,

so it just happened.

Hopefully, we got something
on the radio soon.

Okay, but there's still
the copycat angle.

I mean, whoever is behind this

has to know my work

down to the last little
gritty detail.

Which brings us right back
to crazed fan or your ex.

Could there be anyone else?

Wait a sec, who was the one

who pushed
for the internet upgrade?

Uh...

Martin Adams.

I mean, he pressured all of us
to vote for it.

The service tech
at McKerrin Motors

said that Burt
had filed a complaint

with the town council,

but I was still on town council

when that complaint
would've come in,

and I didn't hear
one word about it.

[Andi] He must have
made the complaint to Martin,

and Martin didn't want
anyone to know about it.

I mean, everyone knows

that Founders Cove Chowder
was in trouble,

and Connie said

that he had just
been turned down for a loan

by the bank.

So he decided
to rob the bank instead

and now he's skipping town.

APB on Martin Adams,
APB on Martin Adams!

Whoop!
[explosion noises]

[?]

Fine.

[police siren wails]

[police officer]
Around back.

Burt McKerrin and Melody Chopra
were murdered

because they suspected
that the cable crew

was doing more
than just installing cable.

What about the similarity
to your books?

That was just a distraction,

but whoever planned this

forgot to take one thing
into account.

What's that?

Selena St. Cloud
is always one step ahead.

Thanks, J.J.
Thanks, guys.

Oh, that's right, fawn all over

the high and mighty
Allison Chandler!

You know,
this used to be a nice town

before people like her
showed up!

[Jack]
Settle down, tough guy.

Police caught the cable crew
going south.

Turns out Whitley Cable
was a complete front.

Those guys were all
convicted felons.

How did Martin
get tangled up with them?

So that guy that was pretending
to be the foreman, Carl,

so Carl was a regular
at Martin's restaurant.

Carl and Martin get to talking,

Martin needs money,
Carl has a plan.

Oh, and Martin
had already booked a flight

to South America,

and if it weren't for you...

he would've been long gone.

Well done.

[clearing throat]

- Coffee.
- Yeah.

So, uh...

I guess it's too soon

to have heard back
about Andi's mom?

No, actually, I did hear.

My friend ran that name

through every database
they have, state, federal,

and...

nothing...

...and I don't mean just nothing
since the disappearance,

I mean nothing since birth.

That doesn't make sense.

No, I know.

It's like...

It's like Ren�e Walker
never existed.

[?]

[Jack] Noah, let's go.

I've got to go.

[?]

[police radio, indistinct]

Is this some kind of joke?

This is the last money
you will ever get from me,

but there are strings attached.

You need to leave town.

You think this is enough
to pay me off?

You owe me
a whole lot more than this.

I don't owe you a damn thing.

I spent years blaming myself
for leaving you,

because, believe it or not,

there was a time when I thought

you were the most charming,
brilliant man

that ever walked the planet,

but looking back...

[chuckling]

...you were a god-awful husband.

You convinced me
that I was the reason

you couldn't pursue
your career in New York.

Because it was true.

We've been divorced for years,

and yet you're still here,

and all those ideas
that you gave me for my books?

Stagey clich�s.

I only put them in there

to make you feel better
about yourself.

I guess I wasn't the one
standing in your way.

You were.

Go be miserable somewhere else.

You're not my problem anymore.

[?]

[telephone ringing]

[Allie] Ronald!

This is a surprise.

Can't a man just call
his favorite client

just to say hello?

Didn't I tell you

not to call me
while you're eating?

[Ronald laughing]

I heard from the publishers.

They loved the outline.

[doubtfully]
Okay... fantastic.

But here's the thing.

There's a shit-ton of hype
about this, um...

copycat killer
in Founders Cove,

so they have an idea...

Oh, no.

They never have good ideas.

Selena St. Cloud sales
are smashing records,

so they want to shelve

the Nash Gilbert
true-crime story,

and instead,

you come up with
a new St. Cloud novel.

Okay, please tell me

you did not agree to this.

This is a good thing, Allie!

It's a great thing, but...

they need a new outline
by next week.

They're shooting
for a December release

just before Christmas.

A new outline in a week?

Yeah, look at the bright side,

you were never crazy about
working with...

Andi... whatever her name is,

so now you don't have to.

We'll shoot her a few bucks,

and ba-boom!

That's that.

So they're not asking
for her, too?

No.

Allie, they want you.

You.

Call me if you need anything.

You're trending!

[gently] Oh, that means
that basically-

I know what trending is.

Oh.

So I just got off the phone
with Ronald.

The outline?

Change of plans.

They have decided
to put the Nash book on hold,

and they want a new
Selena St. Cloud novel instead.

[?]

Oh.

I mean,

you can understand why.

All the press, you know,

and sales are...
off the charts.

No...

No, yeah... I get it.

I get it.

I guess you don't need me
anymore then.

Got it.

Not so fast...

They are adding, uh
a sidekick character, uh,

to be Selena's assistant,

and they're making me
keep you on.

Selena's world
is already established.

That's what I told them,

but they wouldn't listen,

but, hey, listen,

if you are not
up for the challenge...

? Got a feeling

? It's like magic...

- Bring it on.
- ? Think we have it

? Think we have it

? Never know unless we try

? Here goes nothing

? 'Cause anything is possible

? Never know unless we try

? Here goes nothing!

[?]

? Here goes nothing!

[?]

? Never know unless we try

[?]

? Here goes nothing!

[?]

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