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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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Come on in. Take a seat.
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I like this top on you.
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- Do you love it?
- Amazing.
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- Welcome.
- Hi. How are you?
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It's so good to see you all.
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How are you?
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Welcome. Good. Take a seat. How are you?
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Take a seat.
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Let's get down to it.
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You guys look incredible.
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It's so great to see you all.
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How are we feeling? Are we
excited? Are we... nervous?
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Are we ready for this? I
know I am ready for this.
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- We're here.
- Yeah. I love it.
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- Welcome to The Ultimatum reunion.
- So pretty.
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I'm JoAnna Garcia Swisher, and we
are here today to dish all the dirt
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and find out what has been going
on since we last saw everyone.
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For those of you who
gave the ultimatums,
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you're sitting on this side,
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and those who received the ultimatums,
you are sitting on this side.
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Oh...
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- Now it all makes sense? Okay.
- Yeah.
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I'm so excited to hear
how things are going,
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'cause I saw a lot of growth
throughout this process.
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I feel like we've all grown
in all of our own ways.
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That's what I felt proud of, too,
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just, like, watching
everyone choose themselves.
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And, like, for the ones that
didn't know how to do that before,
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and then we found out how to do it.
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- I'm looking at you guys.
- Yeah.
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'Cause I super related
to you guys' story.
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And that was, like, the best thing.
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It was just really intimate and...
and special to know each one of you.
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It's just everyone's development.
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You really started speaking up.
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I was so, like, into everyone.
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I'm like, everyone's so raw, so genuine.
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- It was so beautiful. I don't know.
- Yeah.
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I can say I feel happier now,
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and so that made me, like,
realize how much I've grown.
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What was your funniest, favorite moment?
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Did anything stand out?
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My facial expressions made me laugh.
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I didn't realize the
cameras catch everything.
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- And I'm looking crazy a lot of times.
- Didn't miss any of it.
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Weren't a lot of
moments with Yoly and I,
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but every time we were on together,
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I was like, "This
bitch!" Like, I love you.
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Oh man.
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So, who has tied the knot?
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Has anyone found their
way back together?
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Any regrets?
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Or has anyone gone their separate ways?
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We're about to find out.
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Rae, Lexi. So?
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Tell me where you are. Tell
me how the last year has been.
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Um, the last year has been amazing.
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Proposal, vacations...
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We moved back to California,
um, a few months ago.
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And I mean, I feel
like just the other week
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we were talking about all
the great memories we've had.
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And it's just been...
It's just been such a time.
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It wholeheartedly has been
the best year of my life.
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Yeah. Like, this past year
has been amazing, really.
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I think for me all the what-ifs
of, like, being at The Ultimatum
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and making a decision to, like...
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"Am I gonna be with Lexi?"
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"Do I wanna be with Lexi?
Am I happy with myself?"
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You know, the fucking
what-ifs never end,
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and I'm a chronic
over-thinker like that.
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But once I kinda got out of that limbo
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and said, like, "Yes, I choose
you. You are my 'hell yeah, '"
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it just got easier.
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Yeah.
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The white noise and the
possibilities just kind of faded away,
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and we got to focus on, like,
what we want, moving forward.
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We got a bunch of new
furniture. That made me cry too.
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We've been really quiet about it,
just, like, enjoying being engaged.
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Although I'm, like, wholeheartedly...
Don't take this for face value,
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but if there was, like, a freaking
whatever, officiant here, like...
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I am actually an ordained minister.
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- Rae will kill me.
- Just saying...
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I will murder her.
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- Rae knows if it was today...
- I'm just saying.
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- My mom's, like, set on a specific date.
- Okay.
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So we didn't have much of a say.
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So we know the date, but I don't know
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where any of it's happening, but...
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- She'll figure it out for you.
- The planning hopefully will begin.
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By "begin," I mean I want
nothing to do with it.
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- I want my mom to do everything.
- I was the same way.
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- Don't even wanna look at it. Yeah.
- I just showed up.
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Well, you both were just
beaming with happiness,
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and I think I speak for everyone at home
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that we were all hoping for a
happy ending to your love story.
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But we can't talk about Lexi and
Rae without talking about Fingergate.
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- Oh my God.
- Oh gosh.
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Should we, uh... ...
turn the lights off?
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- Oh!
- Oh.
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A little closer.
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Keep doing that. That felt good.
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Is there a reason why you fucked Rae?
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I didn't fuck Rae.
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Oh, I'm sorry. Rae fucked you.
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- No. No, it's...
- And there was penetration.
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- What's funny?
- It's not funny at all.
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You end up being inside of the person
I came here with and that I love.
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- You don't fuck...
- Friends.
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You don't fuck friends like that.
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Um, I can respect there was,
like, a degree of vulgarity,
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and in the moment, I probably
was fixated on the, like...
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"Did they have sex? Did they
fool around? What does that mean?"
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And also, like, for queer people, in
general, that's not a defined term.
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What you may define as sex
I may not define as sex,
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versus what they define as sex.
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Like, it's so vague.
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And so intimacy, in general,
for me, in that sense,
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because we are queer, and
'cause sex is different,
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I was like, "Really,
you didn't have sex?
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She's doing this to this person."
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"That's sex to me."
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So yeah, I apologize
for the vulgarity of it.
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I have to have a different
version of thought
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because we're all having different sex.
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I felt like the worst person
in the world for a long time.
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Like, it still gets me
worked up to think, like...
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... to feel like I hurt
someone that I love.
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I came here to figure out
if I wanted to be with her,
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and I made the process
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like 20 times harder on both of us.
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I mean, regardless of
whether we had had discussions
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about being okay with doing whatever.
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- You can't promise you're gonna be okay.
- Yeah.
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At the end of the day, you don't
know how you'll feel until it happens,
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and you have to feel it.
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Vanessa, I have to ask,
looking back at the strife,
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how do you feel?
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Um, I... I think I've
always felt the same.
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I think we shared the sentiment
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that we weren't in love with each other.
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We weren't romantically involved.
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We both ended up doing something,
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and it wasn't necessary. We knew.
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Yeah.
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It wasn't something that we, like,
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needed to do to help us on our journey.
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And I felt that then. So did Rae.
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And I think we both feel
the same way about it.
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We recognize it didn't need
to happen. It didn't help us.
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It didn't totally seem like that.
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It felt very like you
were going through it
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and, like, having an
emotional situation,
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and you were like, "We fucked. It
was fun. Haha! We did funny things."
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I agree. I was definitely...
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I recognized immediately
Rae's heaviness on it,
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and that was me trying
to make light of it.
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I think a great thing for me that
came from reflecting on this...
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Such a crutch for me is being
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the bold person, the funny person,
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trying to make a joke out of everything.
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I've done that my whole life.
And I never realized that.
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And I don't need to do that.
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It's not always appropriate,
and it doesn't come out well.
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And I don't want to do that anymore,
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so that's been my
resolution for this year,
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is try to be more serious and calm.
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I'm sorry I affected you, and I
don't expect you to be my friend.
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And I will stay out of your life,
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as I, hopefully, I feel like
you can recognize I have.
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And I just... I hope you can, I don't...
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Forget about me, I guess.
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No, totally. Totally forgotten.
I mean, listen, like, all good.
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We're living our life, and
you're not in it, and that's that.
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Here we are. Like, that's
all there is to say, really.
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- Yeah.
- What do the rest of you think?
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I know y'all went through it,
and y'all came out the other side.
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00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,945
But I really see it with you two,
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and I love you both, and
it's something to aspire to.
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Thanks.
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They really work hard for
each other, and I love that.
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Like, there's sheer vulnerability
between the two of them.
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I've always been a
fan of them working out
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and treating each other good.
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I have individual relationships.
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00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,589
I obviously speak to
Lexi a whole lot more,
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but that's not out of
any love lost for Rae.
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I love Rae to death.
I text her, you know?
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So I'm happy.
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I better be the flower girl at
their wedding, just to be clear.
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00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,143
So what's next for Lexi and Rae?
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We're gonna start splitting our
time between here and the East Coast
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to have a little bit of closeness
to my family and to hers.
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00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:46,943
I want kids.
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00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,571
Like, I think we have a plan of
exactly how we want to have kids,
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00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,281
and now we're investing towards that.
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00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,824
Mm-hmm.
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00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,369
Think we probably need
to get married first.
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00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,370
Yeah.
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00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,122
I dunno if we're in a rush
for kids, but we know the plan.
201
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,415
- Exciting time.
- Yeah.
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00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:02,833
Very fresh.
203
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,044
I can't wait for my wedding invitation.
204
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,341
While one of our couples
prepares to walk down the aisle,
205
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:12,510
Xander, you decided to
walk away from Vanessa
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00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,220
after spending four years together.
207
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:18,641
And Vanessa, that was an ending
that you never saw coming.
208
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,979
So where are you and
Xander now, in all of this?
209
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:25,356
You're not communicating
a ton? Communicating?
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00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:26,732
At... At all.
211
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:30,236
Like, uh... I mean, yeah,
it's nice to see you.
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00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,154
But...
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00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,240
No. Uh, no, we don't talk.
214
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,826
It was a real big struggle for me
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00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:40,871
for the first few months
after the experience.
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00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,541
I still wanted you, obviously, you know.
217
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,460
I felt there was a chance
we'd rekindle and fix things.
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00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,630
Then it became clear that
wasn't going to happen,
219
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,967
and we really did just
kind of stop talking.
220
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,306
But I love you as a friend,
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00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,767
and I think it took this
experience to realize...
222
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,280
... we shouldn't be together.
223
00:10:04,281 --> 00:10:07,356
It's, like... sad, but...
224
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,818
but, like, it's good because now we can
225
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:15,448
work on who we are
together without romance.
226
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,159
And I think maybe that's
what we were supposed to do.
227
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:21,037
I think we were supposed to
do exactly what we just did.
228
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,707
I felt like over, like, the time
229
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:28,711
of this little experiment thing,
230
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:32,214
I realized I was putting so
much focus and so much attention
231
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,716
on, like, the outcome
232
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,802
and getting married and
having the family and, like...
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00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:37,803
But then what?
234
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,972
I don't know. Something in me was like,
235
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:44,810
"You left that experiment saying
that you were gonna choose yourself
236
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,229
and you were gonna learn
how to love yourself,"
237
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,899
and, like, I feel like
it was just so obvious
238
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,181
watching myself during those episodes
239
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:54,153
that I struggled so deeply with that.
240
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,657
And I think by the point
that maybe I was grieving,
241
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,075
we weren't even talking.
242
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,744
So she probably would have no idea.
243
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:03,871
And that's okay.
244
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,414
There's a lot of emotion here.
245
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,668
Is there any hope that
you might come back,
246
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,086
Vanessa and Xander?
247
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,802
My emotion comes from
knowing that's a no.
248
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,513
I think you know it too.
249
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,724
But, like, I'm... I love you so much,
250
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,310
and I'm so willing to
accept whoever you are
251
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,312
and whatever growth you've had.
252
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,440
Like, I was scared to see
Xander, but the second I see her,
253
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,484
I'm like, "I fucking love that girl."
254
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,237
And, so...
255
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,031
Like, I'll happily accept
whatever our next chapter is.
256
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,493
How does that make you feel?
257
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,464
I think it's something
that I was really nervous
258
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,259
that I was never gonna hear
Vanessa say, to be honest.
259
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,928
I knew that I didn't
want her out of my life,
260
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,722
but I knew I was gonna
be a different person.
261
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,392
I knew that, once I started this
journey, that I was gonna change.
262
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,894
I think you're right. I
feel like romantically,
263
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,397
there's been too many
things that have happened.
264
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,691
You deserve someone
who gives you their all.
265
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,443
And I wasn't doing that.
266
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,154
But, like...
267
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:22,032
... I'll never look back
and be mad that I dated you.
268
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,246
You're my fucking buddy, you know?
269
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,253
Xander?
270
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,140
Vanessa is my best friend. It...
271
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:51,645
It was hard not having her for...
272
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,939
to talk to for a while.
273
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,902
So I'm happy to feel like
I can get my friend back.
274
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,782
I know this isn't easy, and
a lot of life has happened,
275
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,533
so thank you for that.
276
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,619
Not that I'm ending this at all.
277
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:09,914
Just so you know, this is not over.
I felt like I needed to say that.
278
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,458
So, Mal.
279
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,210
I felt it.
280
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,712
This is good. We should lead this way.
281
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,715
Your love for Yoly never wavered.
282
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:24,720
But who held Yoly's heart? It kept
us guessing until the very end.
283
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,306
Where was your headspace?
284
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,184
Upon leaving the experience,
it was very much like,
285
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,812
"Let me work this out with
Mal. Mal is who I chose."
286
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,981
"Mal's who I want to see
things through with. It's Mal."
287
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,236
So where are you now?
288
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,196
Um...
289
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:46,951
Happily broken up.
290
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,665
Happily broken up?
291
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:53,748
Mm-hmm.
292
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:59,046
And how quickly after
you left this experience
293
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,882
did you feel like things were
turning in that direction?
294
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:02,966
Um...
295
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,093
Two weeks.
296
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:08,222
Maybe for you, not
necessarily for me, but...
297
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,058
Sure.
298
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:14,353
Do you remember going on vacation,
and then you got a one-way home
299
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:16,772
and telling me you were
not planning on staying?
300
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:17,856
You were moving out.
301
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,358
That was within two weeks.
302
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,568
Of us getting back?
303
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:21,569
Yes.
304
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,569
Okay.
305
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,780
I mean... Okay.
306
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,993
We can see throughout The Ultimatum
307
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:33,122
that your history of
being honest doesn't track.
308
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,416
So it wasn't two weeks after being back.
309
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,086
Okay.
310
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:44,592
My fear was that, as soon as
the camera stopped filming,
311
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,385
Mal was gonna go back to her...
312
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,138
To our ways that I know of.
313
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,682
So... that happened.
314
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,684
Um, we spent some time apart.
315
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,886
And in that time apart, she was like,
316
00:14:56,887 --> 00:14:58,188
"I... This is not gonna work out."
317
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,150
And I didn't fight back.
318
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,819
And that was kind of it for...
319
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,613
Until she moved out.
320
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,907
Upon you going back home
for the month and a half
321
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,326
and having the time
apart, we were broken up.
322
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,953
- You weren't engaged any longer?
- No.
323
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,539
- So you both agree on that?
- Mm-hmm.
324
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,874
I think, to Yoly's point,
325
00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:20,586
the way that we handle conflict
has historically been trash.
326
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,339
Um, and that came up again.
327
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,511
I felt like this was
not the relationship
328
00:15:25,512 --> 00:15:27,384
I wanted to continue being in.
329
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:31,347
It just felt like handling conflict
that way is not sustainable.
330
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,933
And I'm a little triggered
'cause what I watched
331
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,852
was different than
what we've talked about.
332
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,730
And what's hard is watching this...
333
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,900
seeing dishonesty...
334
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,777
What was dishonest?
335
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,531
In the middle of your relationship,
which was only 21 days...
336
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,242
Wasn't that long, so
"middle," I think, is valid...
337
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,744
You were DMing me,
338
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:56,789
telling me, "Don't worry about
it with Xander. I love you."
339
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,416
- Mm-hmm.
- And, like, you know what you're choosing.
340
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,295
Unprovoked, 'cause I didn't
ask for that reassurance.
341
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,173
Clearly, that was not the case.
342
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,801
- What was triggering?
- At the party... Lemme finish.
343
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:11,950
And then at the party
when you come to me,
344
00:16:11,951 --> 00:16:12,972
and you asked me and I trust you,
345
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,683
and I'm like, "My partner
wants to clear things up,
346
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,602
have closure talks, whatever
the hell it is. Go do that."
347
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,604
"I don't care. Do what you gotta do."
348
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,140
I'm thinking this is a closure talk,
349
00:16:22,141 --> 00:16:24,233
maybe there's questions about things.
350
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,359
"How are you doing?"
351
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:28,946
Not, hey, at a party,
playing in my face,
352
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:31,198
saying, "I love you.
I miss you so much."
353
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:33,242
Holding hands, doing all the things.
354
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,952
That's wild as fuck.
355
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,203
Hella disrespectful.
356
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,247
- It is.
- I would've never did you like that.
357
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,957
I do agree. I did not like... I...
358
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,626
Watching it, I was like,
"Oh, that's uncomfortable."
359
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,713
- That's degrading. I deserve better.
- It's disrespectful. You do.
360
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:46,796
So...
361
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,467
I do think that I did not realize
we held hands as long as we did.
362
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:53,053
- I was almost a little...
- "As long as we did" is wild...
363
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,097
That's a wild statement, bro.
364
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,434
I'm just saying I was not okay with
it. I apologize. That was not cool.
365
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:01,145
Definitely, that... that's not cool.
366
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,600
The tough part about this...
367
00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:04,940
It's less about watching
her with another person.
368
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,360
The tough part about it is, I
reflect on the whole fucking thing,
369
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,080
and I'm like, "I've known this person
370
00:17:11,081 --> 00:17:13,782
for five years in close circle to me,
371
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,285
and now I'm looking at
our entire relationship
372
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,745
through a different lens."
373
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,205
And you feel like a
dangerous stranger to me.
374
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,957
And that is hurtful.
375
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,793
That really sucks, because
I had your back so hard,
376
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,880
and all you did was made
a complete fool of me.
377
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,424
I look like an ass on television.
378
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:33,677
I've been... I was telling you
the way I felt about Xander.
379
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,215
I don't see where I lied in that.
380
00:17:36,216 --> 00:17:38,390
It's not comfortable.
I'm not proud of it.
381
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,684
I kind of look like
I'm an ad for polyamory.
382
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,603
I'm not trying to be.
383
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,840
The great part about you
384
00:17:43,841 --> 00:17:47,316
is that you inadvertently
showed everybody on TV
385
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:50,569
how great of a partner I am and
how great of a mother I will be.
386
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,742
I get why you may not
be, um... cool right now.
387
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:59,787
It's... I... I mean,
it was hard to watch.
388
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,874
My animosity is less about me
and Yoly being partners and lovers
389
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,709
and more about my... my friend.
390
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,002
Like, my fucking friend.
391
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,089
And are you still
friends now? Are you... ?
392
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:13,383
I mean, sure. I thought we were,
yeah. I don't lie to my friends.
393
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,552
But, yes, I could imagine...
394
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,221
She's family to me,
395
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:21,225
and sometimes there are cousins
that you can't stand very much.
396
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,852
And, right now, in this moment,
397
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,355
after watching that, you
are definitely that cousin.
398
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,441
It must have been hard.
399
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,861
Everyone kept asking me, am
I nervous about seeing anyone?
400
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,458
Like, I don't give a fuck.
I'm excited about seeing
401
00:18:34,459 --> 00:18:35,710
half... most of you.
402
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:36,989
The only thing...
403
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,369
I know it's gonna be rough to see,
like, me and Xander like, all...
404
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,871
and I know how I am
when I'm in lovey-dovey,
405
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,331
and that's gonna be tough.
406
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:46,583
I was like, "I don't
want to hurt Mal again."
407
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,128
Watching you guys be
lovey-dovey is not hard.
408
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,797
It's easy to watch people in
love. That's a beautiful thing.
409
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,842
Whatever you guys shared
is absolutely palpable,
410
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,426
and I even found myself, like...
411
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,097
That is very cute.
Like, I think it's cute.
412
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,224
For what we saw and how palpable it was,
413
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,434
you almost deserve to try.
414
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,273
You guys... You did try.
415
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,567
- Right?
- I mean, outside in the wild.
416
00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:12,568
They did.
417
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:16,155
- You couldn't wait to bring that up.
- What? You tried in the wild?
418
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,324
Well, I would love to know about that.
419
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,408
Did you?
420
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:24,538
If we're being really honest,
we stayed in communication some,
421
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:27,040
and we saw each other
while we were at Coachella.
422
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,793
What happened?
423
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,880
- Nothing. We just listened to music.
- I mean, all we saw...
424
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,340
- Right. We saw Megan Thee Stallion.
- I found...
425
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,217
Were you excited to see each other?
426
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,468
Yeah, it was nervous, right?
427
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,887
- Like, "Oh shit."
- Yeah.
428
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,639
I mean, yeah, 'cause,
like, I mean, I knew you
429
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:45,851
during that specific time
in my life, you know? Like...
430
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,060
Months later?
431
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:50,564
- Right. So it was months later, yeah.
- Yeah, a while. A while.
432
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,650
So there's nothing more to Coachella?
433
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,405
It was just a hang?
434
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:00,699
Yeah.
435
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,411
Was that your big reveal, Vanessa?
436
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,707
- Um...
- I know you guys didn't stop talking.
437
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,665
No, when Xander and
I returned to Hawaii,
438
00:20:13,666 --> 00:20:16,757
when we were trying to make it work,
439
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:22,638
I was surprised when, a
few weeks in, I did find out
440
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:26,099
that her and Yoly were
planning a trip to Hawaii.
441
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,477
- It was jarring.
- To Hawaii?
442
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,561
Yeah.
443
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,688
Was I going to Hawaii?
444
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,482
Can you confirm that, Xander?
445
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:39,196
We had mentioned that you were
gonna try and come out at some point.
446
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:40,489
Oh, okay. Okay.
447
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,033
- 'Cause we had talked about it.
- Yeah, okay.
448
00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:45,369
You didn't know about
the Hawaii trip, did you?
449
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:46,452
No.
450
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,957
She said she needed to
stop talking to Xander.
451
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,002
Didn't know that there was actual
plans of that or looking up flights.
452
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,964
I had a great time with Xander.
453
00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:01,885
I was hoping to reconnect
and try in any way possible.
454
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,179
I was thinking about Yoly.
455
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,098
We had, you know, all these memories
456
00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:09,268
over, like, the three
weeks that felt like months.
457
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,812
- We were gonna support each other.
- What happened?
458
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:19,194
We were in each other's
journey for a little bit,
459
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,906
and now we're back to,
like, doing our own stuff.
460
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,410
I knew there was something
going on inside me that was like,
461
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:29,579
- "You need to figure your shit out."
- Mm-hmm.
462
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:30,766
"You got a lot going on.
463
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:33,041
You don't need to be putting
it all over the place,"
464
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,501
even though that's what I did.
465
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:38,338
But I feel like I really
needed to commit to myself
466
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:42,217
and, like, figure out how to
change the things I wanted to
467
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:46,179
so I could show up better for myself
and for any partner that I have.
468
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:50,600
Xander, parenthood was a big
topic of conversation for you.
469
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:51,935
You were super ready.
470
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,021
It's definitely a big priority.
471
00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:58,692
I just want to make sure that I
feel like that I'm able to provide.
472
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:01,320
I feel like it's cool,
right? That, like...
473
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,530
I feel like queer people
are able to, like...
474
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,824
We plan a lot. Like, we have to.
475
00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:07,367
So it changes things.
476
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:10,829
Um, so I have to make sure I've
got all my stuff squared away first.
477
00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:12,247
- Ducks in a row.
- Yeah.
478
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,374
Yoly, where are you at with parenthood?
479
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,043
Um...
480
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,879
Ooh, tears.
481
00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:20,630
Um, I... Ooh.
482
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:21,840
Sorry.
483
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,676
Um, I thought I would
be a parent with Mal.
484
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:25,802
And...
485
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:29,348
I don't want to rush and find a partner,
486
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,393
so I can have someone to
have a kid with. Like...
487
00:22:33,977 --> 00:22:35,812
What is more important to me is to have,
488
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:40,442
like, a viable, sustainable,
healthy, supportive relationship.
489
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,027
I'm realizing that...
490
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:43,820
Um...
491
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,531
motherhood might not be a thing for me.
492
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,369
I didn't think I'd be this sad about it.
493
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:53,330
But I'm just like, "Shit, I
wanted to be a mother, but... "
494
00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:55,999
It's okay. I mean, I can...
You know, I have my dog.
495
00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:57,959
There's so many ways
you can be a mother,
496
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,629
but I don't know what that
looks like right now, so...
497
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,007
I don't... I don't know.
498
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,927
But I will babysit any one of y'all's.
499
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:12,224
Getting comfortable with what it
looks like to not have my own child,
500
00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:18,105
but to still be a mother in
every other concept that there is.
501
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:21,233
You're prioritizing yourself,
502
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:23,527
and I think that will
pay off in dividends.
503
00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:26,029
I think you're gonna
have everything you want.
504
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:28,281
I love that. Thank you
for the vote of confidence.
505
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,409
- Have a little faith.
- Thank you.
506
00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:31,492
Yeah.
507
00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:35,205
Speaking of parenthood, there
was a lot of love on the show,
508
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:37,666
but there was also a lot of puppy love.
509
00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,460
I'm talking about fur babies.
510
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:42,586
Let's take a look.
511
00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:43,629
Oh God.
512
00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:46,133
Marge for the cock-block.
513
00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:48,969
Margaux's a dog, right? But
that's my child, my baby.
514
00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:50,470
- Oh...
- Hi.
515
00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,139
You little big booty girl.
516
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:54,641
If Margaux doesn't like
you, I cannot fuck with you.
517
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:55,642
Good girl!
518
00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:57,185
You ready for bed?
519
00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,311
Go night-night?
520
00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:00,522
You're spoiled. We don't
know how to unspoil you.
521
00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,732
Tiff and I have
discussed having children,
522
00:24:02,816 --> 00:24:05,694
and we decided that, um,
we'll take another dog,
523
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,612
but not have another baby.
524
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,781
Let me give her some
sweet potato fries too.
525
00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:12,659
Tiff has cooked for
Shylo a handful of times,
526
00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:15,328
and this was the first
time, um, after two weeks
527
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,122
that Tiff has made me anything.
528
00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:20,000
Got chicken, turkey
burger, sweet potatoes.
529
00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:21,126
Yeah?
530
00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:22,127
I support my baby.
531
00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:26,256
How is Shylo?
532
00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:28,300
Shylo is doing good now.
533
00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:31,052
She, um, had to get,
like, emergency surgery.
534
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:34,014
Um, I spent all Christmas day,
535
00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:36,975
um, in the hospital, uh, for her.
536
00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:38,393
When did Shylo have surgery?
537
00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:39,394
Um...
538
00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,771
December 21st to December 25th?
539
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,982
Ish, yeah, give or take.
540
00:24:44,065 --> 00:24:46,443
I dunno. I just want
to get the dates correct
541
00:24:46,526 --> 00:24:48,737
so that I have my facts straight.
542
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:53,158
What do you mean by, you wanna make
sure you have your facts straight?
543
00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:57,329
On Christmas Eve, my sister
and my family received, like,
544
00:24:57,412 --> 00:25:01,041
messages and phone calls from Tiff
that Shylo was not gonna make it,
545
00:25:01,124 --> 00:25:04,002
and that... that they needed to see...
546
00:25:04,085 --> 00:25:06,796
- I didn't say Shylo wasn't gonna make it.
- I'm speaking now.
547
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,048
Yeah, sure.
548
00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:11,551
That, like, was very intrusive.
549
00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:13,388
We're not on speaking terms.
550
00:25:13,389 --> 00:25:15,555
You're not allowed in
my life anymore, so...
551
00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:17,265
Wait. Oops, sorry.
552
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:21,978
Last time I saw you, you were
getting engaged on the beach.
553
00:25:22,062 --> 00:25:24,981
So I take it you're no longer together.
554
00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:29,694
- What happened?
- We got engaged, like you know.
555
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,292
Then we decided to move in together,
556
00:25:31,293 --> 00:25:35,742
but there was no plans for the future.
557
00:25:35,825 --> 00:25:37,369
We can never talk about a wedding.
558
00:25:38,161 --> 00:25:41,498
There wasn't anything that I
could see in the future with Tiff.
559
00:25:41,581 --> 00:25:45,293
It was like the cloud came
back. Like there was no clarity.
560
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:48,129
It felt like, "Well,
what did I do all this for
561
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:50,240
if we're right back into the same thing
562
00:25:50,241 --> 00:25:53,093
where we're not serious
about our future?"
563
00:25:53,593 --> 00:25:55,929
I asked, "Can we have a
bank account together?"
564
00:25:56,012 --> 00:25:57,722
"Can we do these things together?"
565
00:25:57,806 --> 00:25:59,683
Those things never got done.
566
00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,143
"And can you get a job?"
That was another topic.
567
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,353
Uh, I had one.
568
00:26:03,436 --> 00:26:07,274
There were so many problems.
There were so many... whys.
569
00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:08,945
There was a lot of things that happened
570
00:26:08,946 --> 00:26:11,222
that are really hard to talk about.
571
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,113
So I had to make a decision.
572
00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:17,200
It was one of the hardest
decisions that I've ever made, ever.
573
00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:19,786
To... leave Tiff.
574
00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:22,122
Real quick. I'm a little confused.
575
00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:25,875
How were you... the one that left?
576
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:28,795
Are you talking about
physically-left-the-premise left?
577
00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:30,838
Tiff, if you want to take the show
578
00:26:30,839 --> 00:26:32,674
and tell everyone you broke up with me,
579
00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:33,757
then that's fine.
580
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,218
It really doesn't matter.
581
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:37,470
Then why go out of your
way to say you left?
582
00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:40,265
- Because I left the home, Tiff.
- Left the home. Okay.
583
00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:42,058
I parted physically from the home.
584
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,393
Oh. Okay.
585
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:45,812
Well, what's your perspective?
586
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:52,438
The stuff that we went through
post-show was happening on show.
587
00:26:52,527 --> 00:26:56,823
I just feel like we had a
overall unhealthy relationship
588
00:26:56,906 --> 00:26:58,742
that was trying our best.
589
00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:00,035
That's the way I saw it.
590
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,995
So why take the next step
591
00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:05,290
if you feel that you had
an unhealthy relationship?
592
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:10,086
Did I feel like we were starting
to find ways to communicate
593
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:13,882
where we felt like, at one
point, we were on the same side,
594
00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:16,051
on the same team and
trusted each other? I did.
595
00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:17,718
You know?
596
00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:19,136
Obviously it changed.
597
00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:23,850
But I'm asking you, why move in with
me, when you know I have a child?
598
00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:26,394
Why move in with me when you
weren't financially ready?
599
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:29,105
Um, I could ask you the
same thing. Why would you?
600
00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,441
- I believed in you.
- I believed in you.
601
00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:33,443
I believed you were gonna be committed.
602
00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:37,530
I didn't realize how you were
very immature emotionally.
603
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:41,117
You know, I had to take a lot
of financial responsibility.
604
00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:43,536
- How?
- I felt financially taken advantage of...
605
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:47,082
How? I never borrowed money from
you. What are you even talking about?
606
00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:48,955
I was asked to split the rent of my home
607
00:27:48,956 --> 00:27:50,877
into three because I have a child.
608
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,546
- What the fuck? Oh my God.
- I enabled you.
609
00:27:54,255 --> 00:27:55,382
Mildred...
610
00:27:55,383 --> 00:27:56,883
Yes, Tiff.
611
00:27:56,883 --> 00:27:59,219
I didn't tell you to
split the rent in three.
612
00:27:59,302 --> 00:28:02,347
I'm sorry. I'm a little naive. I asked.
613
00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:04,724
- As far as splitting the rent in three...
- You didn't ask me.
614
00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:07,102
- I asked you... No, I did not tell you.
- You told me.
615
00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:08,353
I did not tell you.
616
00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:11,731
No. I did not tell you to do that.
617
00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:13,024
So how did it come up?
618
00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:14,734
- Hmm?
- How did it come up?
619
00:28:14,818 --> 00:28:16,820
If you didn't tell
her. I'm just curious.
620
00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:19,155
If you didn't tell her to
split it, how'd it come up?
621
00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:21,741
I didn't ask you to do it.
I didn't tell you to do it.
622
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:24,703
To be honest, I don't remember
that exact conversation.
623
00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:26,830
I don't remember how it
started, so I can't...
624
00:28:26,913 --> 00:28:29,749
You don't remember, but it
happened, and it was hurtful for me.
625
00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:30,833
Okay.
626
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:36,131
So, what was the turning point?
What was the moment it went sideways?
627
00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:40,593
Obviously, as you all know, we
had a very tumultuous relationship.
628
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,429
It was a roller coaster.
629
00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:44,723
There was a lot of ups
and downs, you know...
630
00:28:46,015 --> 00:28:49,144
It's really hard for me to say.
You know, um, I was arrested.
631
00:28:53,231 --> 00:28:55,175
I threw a picture frame, and I broke it,
632
00:28:55,176 --> 00:28:56,985
and the glass shattered everywhere.
633
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:59,362
I threw a pet gate at you,
and it was really heavy.
634
00:28:59,446 --> 00:29:02,782
At the same time, I was grabbing
all of your clothes from the closet
635
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:05,660
and throwing them down stairs, because
I wanted you to leave my home...
636
00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:08,496
You did throw the dog gate? Police
statement says you took it back.
637
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,957
- She just said she did.
- Let me finish. I need to finish.
638
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,040
- Okay?
- Mm-hm.
639
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:14,043
You don't have that
power over me anymore.
640
00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:16,296
- Yeah, I threw something at you.
- Okay.
641
00:29:16,379 --> 00:29:17,714
You called the police at me.
642
00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:20,592
And they arrested me in my home.
They took my engagement ring off.
643
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:21,801
I never put it back on.
644
00:29:23,219 --> 00:29:27,724
I... I'm not proud of what I did,
but there was a lot of fighting.
645
00:29:27,807 --> 00:29:30,310
There was always screaming,
yelling, punching the walls.
646
00:29:30,393 --> 00:29:31,394
Good God.
647
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:34,189
Tiff called me a trash mom, degraded me.
648
00:29:34,272 --> 00:29:36,691
There was a lot of problems
when it came to my son,
649
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:39,402
and I did not feel accepted as a mother.
650
00:29:40,236 --> 00:29:42,739
- What do you mean by that?
- I come with a package.
651
00:29:42,822 --> 00:29:44,199
My son will always be first.
652
00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:45,909
I will always be a mother first.
653
00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:51,706
Yeah, I did have a problem with
connecting with your son, absolutely.
654
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,666
I did. I tried, but, honestly...
655
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,585
There was a lot of sneaking around.
656
00:29:55,668 --> 00:29:57,378
You changed the passcode on your phone.
657
00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:02,550
You decided to open a dating
app and bring women to the house,
658
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:03,843
not come home.
659
00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:07,222
- When did I bring a woman to the house?
- Like, when...
660
00:30:07,305 --> 00:30:09,724
- We were broken up.
- We were, but I was paying rent.
661
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:10,725
My things were there.
662
00:30:10,725 --> 00:30:14,270
If we're broken up, am I
allowed to be on a dating app?
663
00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:15,480
Absolutely.
664
00:30:15,563 --> 00:30:18,191
- No one's judging you for it.
- You just did.
665
00:30:18,274 --> 00:30:20,671
I'm judging you for having me
666
00:30:20,672 --> 00:30:23,238
take care of some bills
and having my things...
667
00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:25,532
- What bills did you...
- ... in the home we created,
668
00:30:25,615 --> 00:30:28,284
while you're out there,
you know, sleeping around.
669
00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:30,058
There was a week where I got home
670
00:30:30,059 --> 00:30:32,121
at three in the morning. And guess what?
671
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:35,458
Tiff wasn't home. That's where I
found eyeliner. I don't wear eyeliner.
672
00:30:35,542 --> 00:30:38,169
- What makeup are you talk...
- I don't own eyeliner.
673
00:30:38,253 --> 00:30:39,963
I don't know who was in my house.
674
00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:43,341
And there was just all
these, like, sex board games.
675
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,511
- Mildred.
- That was very painful for me.
676
00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:48,137
I got enough of an imagination.
677
00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:51,015
I don't need no fucking board
game. What're you talking about?
678
00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:53,059
I actually have them.
They came in the mail.
679
00:30:53,142 --> 00:30:55,019
- The leasing office gave them to me.
- Sure.
680
00:30:55,103 --> 00:30:57,647
- What board games?
- So I will send you pictures.
681
00:30:57,730 --> 00:30:59,566
- You're screaming to everyone.
- Send pictures?
682
00:30:59,649 --> 00:31:02,235
- What board game is it called?
- Asking what board games.
683
00:31:02,318 --> 00:31:03,318
I'll send them.
684
00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:04,946
- Sex board game?
- I'm glad you're...
685
00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:06,093
You're literally here just fucking...
686
00:31:06,094 --> 00:31:08,074
straight-up fucking gaslighting me.
687
00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:10,034
- Are you fucking kidding?
- I have them.
688
00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:12,412
I don't care what it's
called. What I care about is...
689
00:31:12,413 --> 00:31:13,413
What are you...
690
00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:15,045
... you did that to me
while I was living with you.
691
00:31:15,046 --> 00:31:16,749
That's what I care about.
692
00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:18,459
- Mildred.
- The betrayal.
693
00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,253
This is the way I look at everything...
694
00:31:20,336 --> 00:31:23,423
I hope you let me talk. Every
time you talk it makes this ear...
695
00:31:23,506 --> 00:31:25,049
Like, it just hurts my ear.
696
00:31:33,016 --> 00:31:34,058
Shit.
697
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:36,978
Tiff.
698
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,914
I'm not taking sides here,
699
00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:58,374
but just Tiff saying
the word "gaslighting,"
700
00:31:58,458 --> 00:32:03,338
um, it just brought back a lot of
my experience with, um, Mildred.
701
00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:07,008
I just feel like Tiff was
just put on blast right now
702
00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:10,929
because there was all the
blame put on one person,
703
00:32:11,012 --> 00:32:12,805
and it didn't feel right to me.
704
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,398
I wanna talk to Tiff.
705
00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:26,069
Do you need water? Do you need anything?
706
00:32:26,152 --> 00:32:27,862
- It's a lot.
- Yeah, it is a lot.
707
00:32:31,866 --> 00:32:36,496
I'm literally questioning
my fucking reality...
708
00:32:36,579 --> 00:32:39,999
Like, what is this? Like, I'm
literally being, like, gaslit.
709
00:32:40,083 --> 00:32:42,210
Not on everything, but a lie.
710
00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:44,337
Like, I didn't...
711
00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,882
I have no problem admitting
where I went wrong,
712
00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:51,219
but I will speak up on some
things that did not happen.
713
00:33:02,063 --> 00:33:05,817
I did have a rough... Like, it
was hard to connect to her son.
714
00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:08,987
But there's also certain things that...
715
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:10,989
Like, I have so much fucking proof...
716
00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:14,117
What? Do you want bank statements
of me paying my fucking rent?
717
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,994
- Where's all this stuff?
- You don't have to.
718
00:33:16,077 --> 00:33:18,204
- Why do I constantly feel like I need to...
- Hey.
719
00:33:18,287 --> 00:33:20,331
- You don't... Yeah.
- What the fuck, dude?
720
00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:23,209
You don't need to prove
anything to her, okay?
721
00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:24,419
Like, you're not...
722
00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:26,838
- That's what I've been doing.
- I know. I know.
723
00:33:26,921 --> 00:33:28,715
And now you're done, right?
724
00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:34,512
Like, now this is your realization,
and enough's enough. Right?
725
00:33:34,595 --> 00:33:37,140
I'm not going back in to
talk. I'm not going back in.
726
00:33:37,223 --> 00:33:40,226
What's honestly best for me is to
never see her fucking face again.
727
00:33:40,309 --> 00:33:42,979
- No, I hear it.
- Like, it's that simple. Like, I...
728
00:33:43,062 --> 00:33:44,897
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
729
00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:46,607
- Like, I...
- Yeah.
730
00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:49,777
- I want to move on, in that sense.
- Yeah.
731
00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:53,948
We should walk to the studio,
even if you go in or not,
732
00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,742
'cause you're gonna
get your death of cold.
733
00:34:00,496 --> 00:34:02,290
- Thank you, Sam.
- Yeah.
734
00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:10,757
Hey, Sam. How are you feeling?
735
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,216
It's cold outside.
736
00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:15,511
Well, we're glad you're back.
737
00:34:16,095 --> 00:34:17,847
Can I ask, is Tiff coming back?
738
00:34:17,930 --> 00:34:19,015
No.
739
00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:23,644
- How's Tiff doing?
- As good as Tiff can be doing right now.
740
00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:36,157
Mildred, where are you in your
healing process with all of this?
741
00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:39,368
It's just been really hard
to just rebuild everything.
742
00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:41,913
But I'm doing really good.
743
00:34:41,996 --> 00:34:45,124
And I'm not happy I don't have
Tiff. Obviously, it's a loss.
744
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:47,752
But I'm happy that I'm happy, genuinely.
745
00:34:47,835 --> 00:34:50,671
And are you dating or open to that?
746
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,383
I know that I eventually will
get there because I love love.
747
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:56,886
And I believe in love.
748
00:34:56,969 --> 00:34:59,347
So I know that day is gonna come.
749
00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:00,973
It's just not here yet.
750
00:35:01,057 --> 00:35:02,058
I love that.
751
00:35:02,141 --> 00:35:03,726
- I love that for you.
- Thank you.
752
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:07,605
I want to move on to Sam and Aussie.
753
00:35:07,688 --> 00:35:08,773
How are you?
754
00:35:08,856 --> 00:35:11,025
Where are you?
755
00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:14,028
Have you gotten something other
than a rock for an engagement ring?
756
00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:16,531
I laughed so hard when I saw that.
757
00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:18,866
And your face was so
great. You were like...
758
00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:21,869
I was hoping for some laugh
track in the background, you know?
759
00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:23,496
- You got it from me.
- Good shit.
760
00:35:23,579 --> 00:35:24,789
- It was crickets.
- I laughed.
761
00:35:24,872 --> 00:35:27,834
It was such a long pause. After
"rock," I was like, "Okay... "
762
00:35:27,917 --> 00:35:31,254
In real life, it was, like,
five times longer than what...
763
00:35:31,337 --> 00:35:33,673
- Oh my God!
- It really was.
764
00:35:33,756 --> 00:35:35,925
- But it worked out.
- But it worked out.
765
00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:37,008
You left engaged.
766
00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:39,470
So are you wedding
planning? Are you married?
767
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:41,889
- Where are you in you relationship?
- We're not married yet.
768
00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:43,391
We're kind of waiting.
769
00:35:43,474 --> 00:35:46,269
It was kinda like, "How do
we explain this to people?"
770
00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:49,480
Like, it's just so awkward.
Do we make up a story?
771
00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:51,065
Like, I don't know.
772
00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:53,568
You don't have pictures. You're
not putting it on social media.
773
00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:56,195
- It's, like, just weird.
- It was really funny.
774
00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,698
We were watching TV on
the couch, and I was like,
775
00:35:58,781 --> 00:36:02,368
"So you know that being engaged
means you get married after, right?"
776
00:36:02,451 --> 00:36:03,870
It's a process.
777
00:36:03,953 --> 00:36:05,454
Like a deer in the headlights.
778
00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:09,333
- Like, Aussie didn't make the connection.
- "Oh, wait a minute... "
779
00:36:11,544 --> 00:36:13,087
So what's new in your life?
780
00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:17,216
Um, I have to say there's been
a lot of, uh, self-discovery.
781
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:19,682
I have a hard time
figuring out who I am,
782
00:36:19,683 --> 00:36:22,513
in terms of, like, my relationship
783
00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:25,933
from what I experienced in...
You know, when I was younger.
784
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,644
So building that "What do I want?"
785
00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:30,897
That's been my journey right now.
786
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:33,900
A lot of your struggles
were about communication.
787
00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:36,736
Do you feel like your
communication has gotten stronger?
788
00:36:36,819 --> 00:36:38,946
- Yeah.
- We've kinda found this balance of...
789
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:43,534
Okay, I need to sit with the
discomfort of, like, allowing space,
790
00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:46,954
and, like, Aussie sits with
the discomfort of, like...
791
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:47,955
Staying.
792
00:36:47,955 --> 00:36:51,167
... shortening that time
needing, like, space away.
793
00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:54,045
And so it's kinda... We've
kinda just, like, figured it out.
794
00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:55,963
- Compromise.
- Yeah.
795
00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:58,049
I feel like I'm like Aussie.
796
00:36:58,132 --> 00:37:00,176
Like, I need that space,
797
00:37:00,259 --> 00:37:03,971
and for you to, like, kind of
realize that you need to allow that...
798
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:06,515
- It's really special.
- I could not agree more with her.
799
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:09,185
Truthfully, 'cause I know
it's something we fight about.
800
00:37:09,268 --> 00:37:10,970
And I'm like, "I sure as hell don't know
801
00:37:10,971 --> 00:37:13,397
if I could've given that much space."
802
00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:15,441
It's like, "Damn, Sam. Like... "
803
00:37:15,524 --> 00:37:17,735
Like, holy crap.
804
00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:19,362
I definitely couldn't do it.
805
00:37:19,445 --> 00:37:20,780
- So...
- You can do better.
806
00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:23,480
Aussie, during the experience,
807
00:37:23,481 --> 00:37:27,370
your family really didn't
know... where you...
808
00:37:27,453 --> 00:37:29,121
- Have you met?
- Not yet.
809
00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:30,748
Do they know about Sam?
810
00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:32,667
They don't yet.
811
00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:36,462
Um, that's something I want to cross
when we announce the engagement.
812
00:37:36,545 --> 00:37:37,922
And, um, you know,
813
00:37:38,005 --> 00:37:40,549
we haven't done that yet
with our family members.
814
00:37:41,133 --> 00:37:44,053
But that's something that
I... They'll find out.
815
00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:46,764
- Okay. So that's the plan.
- That's the plan.
816
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:47,932
Surprise.
817
00:37:48,015 --> 00:37:49,308
Oh my God.
818
00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:52,520
In the past, maybe I would have,
like, not told them about it,
819
00:37:52,603 --> 00:37:56,983
but I'm trying to embrace me,
and I'm trying to be more open
820
00:37:57,066 --> 00:38:00,027
and, um, just my... my... live my truth.
821
00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:02,655
So, I'm gonna go with it.
822
00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:04,907
So are we headed to
Australia for a wedding?
823
00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:06,534
- Yes.
- Yeah.
824
00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,536
- We were gonna have two...
- Really?
825
00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:10,162
- Destination wedding?
- We'll be there.
826
00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:12,331
I think we'll have two.
One here and one there.
827
00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,834
- Okay.
- So that, yeah, everyone can attend.
828
00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:15,918
That is so cute.
829
00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,796
It's great to see your happy ending.
830
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:22,091
- Thank you.
- Watching everyone's internal struggle
831
00:38:22,174 --> 00:38:26,762
and how really we all just put
our hearts on the line, so much...
832
00:38:26,846 --> 00:38:30,391
And there was so much growth
and so much change in all of us.
833
00:38:30,474 --> 00:38:32,954
Um, and I appreciate... I mean,
834
00:38:32,955 --> 00:38:34,228
I feel like I grew with all of you guys.
835
00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:36,897
And it's just... It really
was just incredible to see.
836
00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:41,068
I feel like I cried more watching
it than I did... during it.
837
00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,404
Which is surprising, I know.
838
00:38:43,988 --> 00:38:47,366
I have so much respect for all
of you for sharing this journey.
839
00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:48,852
It was really a beautiful thing,
840
00:38:48,853 --> 00:38:51,620
and why I think this whole
story is so compelling.
841
00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:53,914
Do you have any regrets, watching back?
842
00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:57,209
Biggest regret is that I made
bad impressions on you guys.
843
00:38:57,293 --> 00:39:00,087
I came in here thinking,
"What an amazing thing."
844
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:03,132
"I'm gonna get to hang
out with... " Nine?
845
00:39:03,215 --> 00:39:04,759
"... nine queer people."
846
00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:06,177
"Like, this is a dream."
847
00:39:06,260 --> 00:39:08,763
And it... it didn't turn out like that.
848
00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:10,806
And I'm a big reason for that.
849
00:39:11,557 --> 00:39:15,394
I firmly believe when I say that,
if Rae and I hadn't worked out,
850
00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:18,064
the experience would have
been every bit as worth it
851
00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:20,775
to have just, like,
had what I had with Mal.
852
00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:22,777
It's so hard to meet friends nowadays.
853
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:24,945
It's harder to meet
people that become family.
854
00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:27,114
- Yeah.
- It's hard to do that in three weeks.
855
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,200
We had some funny moments.
856
00:39:29,283 --> 00:39:31,494
It was worth the challenges. Yeah.
857
00:39:31,577 --> 00:39:34,372
I think we had it for the...
We did it for the right reasons.
858
00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:36,624
You know, you have to pick...
859
00:39:36,707 --> 00:39:39,502
You have to choose... In hard
moments, you have to pick love.
860
00:39:39,585 --> 00:39:42,588
When I'm not my best self,
Sam's not her best self,
861
00:39:42,671 --> 00:39:47,551
like, we just have to, you know,
choose each other again and again.
862
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:51,013
So how do you feel about ultimatums?
863
00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:52,431
I think one was enough.
864
00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:53,516
Still hate 'em.
865
00:39:53,599 --> 00:39:55,226
- Still hate 'em? Okay.
- Yeah, no.
866
00:39:55,309 --> 00:39:58,187
When you're given an ultimatum,
there's so much pressure,
867
00:39:58,270 --> 00:40:01,273
and, like, I was feeling
a lot of resentment.
868
00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:04,485
Now I'm in the place where
I did make my decision,
869
00:40:04,568 --> 00:40:05,569
and I'm happy.
870
00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:07,822
But no more ultimatums, lady.
871
00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:10,074
I won't. I won't. I got you. I promise.
872
00:40:10,157 --> 00:40:11,200
- We all heard it?
- Yep.
873
00:40:11,283 --> 00:40:13,536
- A promise made.
- It's on record. Stamping it.
874
00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:15,371
I can own that.
875
00:40:15,454 --> 00:40:18,124
I still am a firm believer
that we wouldn't be where we are
876
00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:19,250
if we didn't do this.
877
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:20,750
I second that.
878
00:40:21,752 --> 00:40:24,130
- Are you all happy you did the show?
- Yes.
879
00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,757
I feel really grateful
for where I'm at now.
880
00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:29,301
- It brought clarity for you?
- Yeah.
881
00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:31,137
You date so much differently now.
882
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:32,850
Like, I'm so proud of how you move
883
00:40:32,851 --> 00:40:35,182
through your life and your choices now.
884
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:36,725
Oh yeah. I'm more confident.
885
00:40:36,809 --> 00:40:38,561
I listen to my voice more.
886
00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:42,273
And because of that, I've also had
really great dating experiences.
887
00:40:42,356 --> 00:40:44,275
Like, it makes me so happy.
888
00:40:44,358 --> 00:40:45,443
I love that.
889
00:40:45,526 --> 00:40:50,197
Thank you for your generosity
and your trust in The Ultimatum.
890
00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:51,449
Thank you.
891
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,082
Your dad's okay?
892
00:41:00,082 --> 00:41:01,500
Yeah. You know...
893
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:31,000
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