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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,927 Come on in. Take a seat. 3 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:14,556 I like this top on you. 4 00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:15,890 - Do you love it? - Amazing. 5 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,018 - Welcome. - Hi. How are you? 6 00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,311 It's so good to see you all. 7 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,187 How are you? 8 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,649 Welcome. Good. Take a seat. How are you? 9 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,401 Take a seat. 10 00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:27,902 Let's get down to it. 11 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,320 You guys look incredible. 12 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,947 It's so great to see you all. 13 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:36,703 How are we feeling? Are we excited? Are we... nervous? 14 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:39,372 Are we ready for this? I know I am ready for this. 15 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,458 - We're here. - Yeah. I love it. 16 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:45,211 - Welcome to The Ultimatum reunion. - So pretty. 17 00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:50,091 I'm JoAnna Garcia Swisher, and we are here today to dish all the dirt 18 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:53,803 and find out what has been going on since we last saw everyone. 19 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:57,057 For those of you who gave the ultimatums, 20 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,641 you're sitting on this side, 21 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:02,103 and those who received the ultimatums, you are sitting on this side. 22 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,813 Oh... 23 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,399 - Now it all makes sense? Okay. - Yeah. 24 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,736 I'm so excited to hear how things are going, 25 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,280 'cause I saw a lot of growth throughout this process. 26 00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:14,908 I feel like we've all grown in all of our own ways. 27 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:16,534 That's what I felt proud of, too, 28 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:19,788 just, like, watching everyone choose themselves. 29 00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:23,374 And, like, for the ones that didn't know how to do that before, 30 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,043 and then we found out how to do it. 31 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:26,878 - I'm looking at you guys. - Yeah. 32 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,297 'Cause I super related to you guys' story. 33 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:32,050 And that was, like, the best thing. 34 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:36,805 It was just really intimate and... and special to know each one of you. 35 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,723 It's just everyone's development. 36 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:40,308 You really started speaking up. 37 00:01:40,391 --> 00:01:42,602 I was so, like, into everyone. 38 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:45,563 I'm like, everyone's so raw, so genuine. 39 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,066 - It was so beautiful. I don't know. - Yeah. 40 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:49,692 I can say I feel happier now, 41 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:53,404 and so that made me, like, realize how much I've grown. 42 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,199 What was your funniest, favorite moment? 43 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:57,617 Did anything stand out? 44 00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,327 My facial expressions made me laugh. 45 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,663 I didn't realize the cameras catch everything. 46 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:05,708 - And I'm looking crazy a lot of times. - Didn't miss any of it. 47 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,165 Weren't a lot of moments with Yoly and I, 48 00:02:07,166 --> 00:02:09,712 but every time we were on together, 49 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,674 I was like, "This bitch!" Like, I love you. 50 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:13,800 Oh man. 51 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,428 So, who has tied the knot? 52 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,140 Has anyone found their way back together? 53 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,808 Any regrets? 54 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,269 Or has anyone gone their separate ways? 55 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:26,146 We're about to find out. 56 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:29,482 Rae, Lexi. So? 57 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:33,653 Tell me where you are. Tell me how the last year has been. 58 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,864 Um, the last year has been amazing. 59 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,283 Proposal, vacations... 60 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:42,328 We moved back to California, um, a few months ago. 61 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,123 And I mean, I feel like just the other week 62 00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,792 we were talking about all the great memories we've had. 63 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,087 And it's just been... It's just been such a time. 64 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,798 It wholeheartedly has been the best year of my life. 65 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:57,760 Yeah. Like, this past year has been amazing, really. 66 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:02,348 I think for me all the what-ifs of, like, being at The Ultimatum 67 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,017 and making a decision to, like... 68 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,393 "Am I gonna be with Lexi?" 69 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,896 "Do I wanna be with Lexi? Am I happy with myself?" 70 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,921 You know, the fucking what-ifs never end, 71 00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:12,400 and I'm a chronic over-thinker like that. 72 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:14,861 But once I kinda got out of that limbo 73 00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:17,989 and said, like, "Yes, I choose you. You are my 'hell yeah, '" 74 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:19,574 it just got easier. 75 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:20,575 Yeah. 76 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,661 The white noise and the possibilities just kind of faded away, 77 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:27,457 and we got to focus on, like, what we want, moving forward. 78 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,710 We got a bunch of new furniture. That made me cry too. 79 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:36,090 We've been really quiet about it, just, like, enjoying being engaged. 80 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:39,802 Although I'm, like, wholeheartedly... Don't take this for face value, 81 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,181 but if there was, like, a freaking whatever, officiant here, like... 82 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,558 I am actually an ordained minister. 83 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,061 - Rae will kill me. - Just saying... 84 00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,854 I will murder her. 85 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,857 - Rae knows if it was today... - I'm just saying. 86 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:56,236 - My mom's, like, set on a specific date. - Okay. 87 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,112 So we didn't have much of a say. 88 00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,125 So we know the date, but I don't know 89 00:04:00,126 --> 00:04:01,950 where any of it's happening, but... 90 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:05,119 - She'll figure it out for you. - The planning hopefully will begin. 91 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,205 By "begin," I mean I want nothing to do with it. 92 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,374 - I want my mom to do everything. - I was the same way. 93 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,876 - Don't even wanna look at it. Yeah. - I just showed up. 94 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:15,797 Well, you both were just beaming with happiness, 95 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,882 and I think I speak for everyone at home 96 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:21,719 that we were all hoping for a happy ending to your love story. 97 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:27,892 But we can't talk about Lexi and Rae without talking about Fingergate. 98 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,311 - Oh my God. - Oh gosh. 99 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,356 Should we, uh... ... turn the lights off? 100 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:34,857 - Oh! - Oh. 101 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,818 A little closer. 102 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,613 Keep doing that. That felt good. 103 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,991 Is there a reason why you fucked Rae? 104 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,867 I didn't fuck Rae. 105 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,369 Oh, I'm sorry. Rae fucked you. 106 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,913 - No. No, it's... - And there was penetration. 107 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,207 - What's funny? - It's not funny at all. 108 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:56,212 You end up being inside of the person I came here with and that I love. 109 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,547 - You don't fuck... - Friends. 110 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,841 You don't fuck friends like that. 111 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,803 Um, I can respect there was, like, a degree of vulgarity, 112 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:06,723 and in the moment, I probably was fixated on the, like... 113 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,809 "Did they have sex? Did they fool around? What does that mean?" 114 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:14,480 And also, like, for queer people, in general, that's not a defined term. 115 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:17,817 What you may define as sex I may not define as sex, 116 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,485 versus what they define as sex. 117 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,654 Like, it's so vague. 118 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,240 And so intimacy, in general, for me, in that sense, 119 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,951 because we are queer, and 'cause sex is different, 120 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,510 I was like, "Really, you didn't have sex? 121 00:05:28,511 --> 00:05:30,538 She's doing this to this person." 122 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:31,873 "That's sex to me." 123 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:35,001 So yeah, I apologize for the vulgarity of it. 124 00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,545 I have to have a different version of thought 125 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,298 because we're all having different sex. 126 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,760 I felt like the worst person in the world for a long time. 127 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,888 Like, it still gets me worked up to think, like... 128 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,060 ... to feel like I hurt someone that I love. 129 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,700 I came here to figure out if I wanted to be with her, 130 00:05:54,701 --> 00:05:55,980 and I made the process 131 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,816 like 20 times harder on both of us. 132 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,778 I mean, regardless of whether we had had discussions 133 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,614 about being okay with doing whatever. 134 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:07,033 - You can't promise you're gonna be okay. - Yeah. 135 00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:11,245 At the end of the day, you don't know how you'll feel until it happens, 136 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,663 and you have to feel it. 137 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,710 Vanessa, I have to ask, looking back at the strife, 138 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:18,795 how do you feel? 139 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:23,132 Um, I... I think I've always felt the same. 140 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,468 I think we shared the sentiment 141 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:29,770 that we weren't in love with each other. 142 00:06:29,771 --> 00:06:31,057 We weren't romantically involved. 143 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,518 We both ended up doing something, 144 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,436 and it wasn't necessary. We knew. 145 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,437 Yeah. 146 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,440 It wasn't something that we, like, 147 00:06:37,441 --> 00:06:40,608 needed to do to help us on our journey. 148 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,985 And I felt that then. So did Rae. 149 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,530 And I think we both feel the same way about it. 150 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,991 We recognize it didn't need to happen. It didn't help us. 151 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,535 It didn't totally seem like that. 152 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,912 It felt very like you were going through it 153 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:55,540 and, like, having an emotional situation, 154 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:59,001 and you were like, "We fucked. It was fun. Haha! We did funny things." 155 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,920 I agree. I was definitely... 156 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:04,215 I recognized immediately Rae's heaviness on it, 157 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:07,176 and that was me trying to make light of it. 158 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:12,014 I think a great thing for me that came from reflecting on this... 159 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:15,017 Such a crutch for me is being 160 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:18,861 the bold person, the funny person, 161 00:07:18,862 --> 00:07:20,440 trying to make a joke out of everything. 162 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,776 I've done that my whole life. And I never realized that. 163 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,278 And I don't need to do that. 164 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,072 It's not always appropriate, and it doesn't come out well. 165 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,991 And I don't want to do that anymore, 166 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:32,660 so that's been my resolution for this year, 167 00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:34,662 is try to be more serious and calm. 168 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:38,166 I'm sorry I affected you, and I don't expect you to be my friend. 169 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:40,209 And I will stay out of your life, 170 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,838 as I, hopefully, I feel like you can recognize I have. 171 00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:47,023 And I just... I hope you can, I don't... 172 00:07:47,024 --> 00:07:48,384 Forget about me, I guess. 173 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,346 No, totally. Totally forgotten. I mean, listen, like, all good. 174 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,683 We're living our life, and you're not in it, and that's that. 175 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,603 Here we are. Like, that's all there is to say, really. 176 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,689 - Yeah. - What do the rest of you think? 177 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:05,443 I know y'all went through it, and y'all came out the other side. 178 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,945 But I really see it with you two, 179 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:11,491 and I love you both, and it's something to aspire to. 180 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:12,492 Thanks. 181 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,453 They really work hard for each other, and I love that. 182 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:18,623 Like, there's sheer vulnerability between the two of them. 183 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,916 I've always been a fan of them working out 184 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,418 and treating each other good. 185 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,128 I have individual relationships. 186 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:26,589 I obviously speak to Lexi a whole lot more, 187 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,800 but that's not out of any love lost for Rae. 188 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:32,011 I love Rae to death. I text her, you know? 189 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,137 So I'm happy. 190 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:37,099 I better be the flower girl at their wedding, just to be clear. 191 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,143 So what's next for Lexi and Rae? 192 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,688 We're gonna start splitting our time between here and the East Coast 193 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,900 to have a little bit of closeness to my family and to hers. 194 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:46,943 I want kids. 195 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,571 Like, I think we have a plan of exactly how we want to have kids, 196 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,281 and now we're investing towards that. 197 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,824 Mm-hmm. 198 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,369 Think we probably need to get married first. 199 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,370 Yeah. 200 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,122 I dunno if we're in a rush for kids, but we know the plan. 201 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,415 - Exciting time. - Yeah. 202 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:02,833 Very fresh. 203 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,044 I can't wait for my wedding invitation. 204 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,341 While one of our couples prepares to walk down the aisle, 205 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:12,510 Xander, you decided to walk away from Vanessa 206 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,220 after spending four years together. 207 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:18,641 And Vanessa, that was an ending that you never saw coming. 208 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,979 So where are you and Xander now, in all of this? 209 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:25,356 You're not communicating a ton? Communicating? 210 00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:26,732 At... At all. 211 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:30,236 Like, uh... I mean, yeah, it's nice to see you. 212 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,154 But... 213 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,240 No. Uh, no, we don't talk. 214 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,826 It was a real big struggle for me 215 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:40,871 for the first few months after the experience. 216 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,541 I still wanted you, obviously, you know. 217 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,460 I felt there was a chance we'd rekindle and fix things. 218 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,630 Then it became clear that wasn't going to happen, 219 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,967 and we really did just kind of stop talking. 220 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,306 But I love you as a friend, 221 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,767 and I think it took this experience to realize... 222 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,280 ... we shouldn't be together. 223 00:10:04,281 --> 00:10:07,356 It's, like... sad, but... 224 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,818 but, like, it's good because now we can 225 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:15,448 work on who we are together without romance. 226 00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,159 And I think maybe that's what we were supposed to do. 227 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:21,037 I think we were supposed to do exactly what we just did. 228 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,707 I felt like over, like, the time 229 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:28,711 of this little experiment thing, 230 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:32,214 I realized I was putting so much focus and so much attention 231 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,716 on, like, the outcome 232 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,802 and getting married and having the family and, like... 233 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:37,803 But then what? 234 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,972 I don't know. Something in me was like, 235 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:44,810 "You left that experiment saying that you were gonna choose yourself 236 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:47,229 and you were gonna learn how to love yourself," 237 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,899 and, like, I feel like it was just so obvious 238 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,181 watching myself during those episodes 239 00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:54,153 that I struggled so deeply with that. 240 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,657 And I think by the point that maybe I was grieving, 241 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,075 we weren't even talking. 242 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,744 So she probably would have no idea. 243 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:03,871 And that's okay. 244 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,414 There's a lot of emotion here. 245 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,668 Is there any hope that you might come back, 246 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,086 Vanessa and Xander? 247 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,802 My emotion comes from knowing that's a no. 248 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,513 I think you know it too. 249 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,724 But, like, I'm... I love you so much, 250 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,310 and I'm so willing to accept whoever you are 251 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,312 and whatever growth you've had. 252 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,440 Like, I was scared to see Xander, but the second I see her, 253 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,484 I'm like, "I fucking love that girl." 254 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,237 And, so... 255 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,031 Like, I'll happily accept whatever our next chapter is. 256 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,493 How does that make you feel? 257 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,464 I think it's something that I was really nervous 258 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,259 that I was never gonna hear Vanessa say, to be honest. 259 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,928 I knew that I didn't want her out of my life, 260 00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,722 but I knew I was gonna be a different person. 261 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:06,392 I knew that, once I started this journey, that I was gonna change. 262 00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,894 I think you're right. I feel like romantically, 263 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,397 there's been too many things that have happened. 264 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,691 You deserve someone who gives you their all. 265 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,443 And I wasn't doing that. 266 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,154 But, like... 267 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:22,032 ... I'll never look back and be mad that I dated you. 268 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,246 You're my fucking buddy, you know? 269 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,253 Xander? 270 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,140 Vanessa is my best friend. It... 271 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:51,645 It was hard not having her for... 272 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,939 to talk to for a while. 273 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,902 So I'm happy to feel like I can get my friend back. 274 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,782 I know this isn't easy, and a lot of life has happened, 275 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,533 so thank you for that. 276 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,619 Not that I'm ending this at all. 277 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:09,914 Just so you know, this is not over. I felt like I needed to say that. 278 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,458 So, Mal. 279 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,210 I felt it. 280 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,712 This is good. We should lead this way. 281 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,715 Your love for Yoly never wavered. 282 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:24,720 But who held Yoly's heart? It kept us guessing until the very end. 283 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,306 Where was your headspace? 284 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,184 Upon leaving the experience, it was very much like, 285 00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:32,812 "Let me work this out with Mal. Mal is who I chose." 286 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,981 "Mal's who I want to see things through with. It's Mal." 287 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,236 So where are you now? 288 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:43,196 Um... 289 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:46,951 Happily broken up. 290 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,665 Happily broken up? 291 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:53,748 Mm-hmm. 292 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:59,046 And how quickly after you left this experience 293 00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,882 did you feel like things were turning in that direction? 294 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:02,966 Um... 295 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,093 Two weeks. 296 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:08,222 Maybe for you, not necessarily for me, but... 297 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,058 Sure. 298 00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:14,353 Do you remember going on vacation, and then you got a one-way home 299 00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:16,772 and telling me you were not planning on staying? 300 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:17,856 You were moving out. 301 00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,358 That was within two weeks. 302 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,568 Of us getting back? 303 00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:21,569 Yes. 304 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,569 Okay. 305 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,780 I mean... Okay. 306 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,993 We can see throughout The Ultimatum 307 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:33,122 that your history of being honest doesn't track. 308 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,416 So it wasn't two weeks after being back. 309 00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,086 Okay. 310 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:44,592 My fear was that, as soon as the camera stopped filming, 311 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,385 Mal was gonna go back to her... 312 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,138 To our ways that I know of. 313 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,682 So... that happened. 314 00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,684 Um, we spent some time apart. 315 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,886 And in that time apart, she was like, 316 00:14:56,887 --> 00:14:58,188 "I... This is not gonna work out." 317 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,150 And I didn't fight back. 318 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,819 And that was kind of it for... 319 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,613 Until she moved out. 320 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,907 Upon you going back home for the month and a half 321 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,326 and having the time apart, we were broken up. 322 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,953 - You weren't engaged any longer? - No. 323 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,539 - So you both agree on that? - Mm-hmm. 324 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,874 I think, to Yoly's point, 325 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:20,586 the way that we handle conflict has historically been trash. 326 00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,339 Um, and that came up again. 327 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,511 I felt like this was not the relationship 328 00:15:25,512 --> 00:15:27,384 I wanted to continue being in. 329 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:31,347 It just felt like handling conflict that way is not sustainable. 330 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,933 And I'm a little triggered 'cause what I watched 331 00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,852 was different than what we've talked about. 332 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,730 And what's hard is watching this... 333 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,900 seeing dishonesty... 334 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,777 What was dishonest? 335 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,531 In the middle of your relationship, which was only 21 days... 336 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,242 Wasn't that long, so "middle," I think, is valid... 337 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,744 You were DMing me, 338 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:56,789 telling me, "Don't worry about it with Xander. I love you." 339 00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,416 - Mm-hmm. - And, like, you know what you're choosing. 340 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,295 Unprovoked, 'cause I didn't ask for that reassurance. 341 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,173 Clearly, that was not the case. 342 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,801 - What was triggering? - At the party... Lemme finish. 343 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:11,950 And then at the party when you come to me, 344 00:16:11,951 --> 00:16:12,972 and you asked me and I trust you, 345 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,683 and I'm like, "My partner wants to clear things up, 346 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,602 have closure talks, whatever the hell it is. Go do that." 347 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,604 "I don't care. Do what you gotta do." 348 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,140 I'm thinking this is a closure talk, 349 00:16:22,141 --> 00:16:24,233 maybe there's questions about things. 350 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,359 "How are you doing?" 351 00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:28,946 Not, hey, at a party, playing in my face, 352 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:31,198 saying, "I love you. I miss you so much." 353 00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:33,242 Holding hands, doing all the things. 354 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,952 That's wild as fuck. 355 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,203 Hella disrespectful. 356 00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,247 - It is. - I would've never did you like that. 357 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,957 I do agree. I did not like... I... 358 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,626 Watching it, I was like, "Oh, that's uncomfortable." 359 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,713 - That's degrading. I deserve better. - It's disrespectful. You do. 360 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:46,796 So... 361 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,467 I do think that I did not realize we held hands as long as we did. 362 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:53,053 - I was almost a little... - "As long as we did" is wild... 363 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,097 That's a wild statement, bro. 364 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,434 I'm just saying I was not okay with it. I apologize. That was not cool. 365 00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:01,145 Definitely, that... that's not cool. 366 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,600 The tough part about this... 367 00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:04,940 It's less about watching her with another person. 368 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,360 The tough part about it is, I reflect on the whole fucking thing, 369 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,080 and I'm like, "I've known this person 370 00:17:11,081 --> 00:17:13,782 for five years in close circle to me, 371 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,285 and now I'm looking at our entire relationship 372 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,745 through a different lens." 373 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,205 And you feel like a dangerous stranger to me. 374 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,957 And that is hurtful. 375 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,793 That really sucks, because I had your back so hard, 376 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,880 and all you did was made a complete fool of me. 377 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,424 I look like an ass on television. 378 00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:33,677 I've been... I was telling you the way I felt about Xander. 379 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,215 I don't see where I lied in that. 380 00:17:36,216 --> 00:17:38,390 It's not comfortable. I'm not proud of it. 381 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,684 I kind of look like I'm an ad for polyamory. 382 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,603 I'm not trying to be. 383 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,840 The great part about you 384 00:17:43,841 --> 00:17:47,316 is that you inadvertently showed everybody on TV 385 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:50,569 how great of a partner I am and how great of a mother I will be. 386 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,742 I get why you may not be, um... cool right now. 387 00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:59,787 It's... I... I mean, it was hard to watch. 388 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,874 My animosity is less about me and Yoly being partners and lovers 389 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,709 and more about my... my friend. 390 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,002 Like, my fucking friend. 391 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,089 And are you still friends now? Are you... ? 392 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:13,383 I mean, sure. I thought we were, yeah. I don't lie to my friends. 393 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,552 But, yes, I could imagine... 394 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,221 She's family to me, 395 00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:21,225 and sometimes there are cousins that you can't stand very much. 396 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,852 And, right now, in this moment, 397 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,355 after watching that, you are definitely that cousin. 398 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,441 It must have been hard. 399 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,861 Everyone kept asking me, am I nervous about seeing anyone? 400 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,458 Like, I don't give a fuck. I'm excited about seeing 401 00:18:34,459 --> 00:18:35,710 half... most of you. 402 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:36,989 The only thing... 403 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,369 I know it's gonna be rough to see, like, me and Xander like, all... 404 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,871 and I know how I am when I'm in lovey-dovey, 405 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,331 and that's gonna be tough. 406 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:46,583 I was like, "I don't want to hurt Mal again." 407 00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:49,128 Watching you guys be lovey-dovey is not hard. 408 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,797 It's easy to watch people in love. That's a beautiful thing. 409 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,842 Whatever you guys shared is absolutely palpable, 410 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,426 and I even found myself, like... 411 00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,097 That is very cute. Like, I think it's cute. 412 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,224 For what we saw and how palpable it was, 413 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,434 you almost deserve to try. 414 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,273 You guys... You did try. 415 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,567 - Right? - I mean, outside in the wild. 416 00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:12,568 They did. 417 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:16,155 - You couldn't wait to bring that up. - What? You tried in the wild? 418 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,324 Well, I would love to know about that. 419 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,408 Did you? 420 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:24,538 If we're being really honest, we stayed in communication some, 421 00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:27,040 and we saw each other while we were at Coachella. 422 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,793 What happened? 423 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,880 - Nothing. We just listened to music. - I mean, all we saw... 424 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,340 - Right. We saw Megan Thee Stallion. - I found... 425 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,217 Were you excited to see each other? 426 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,468 Yeah, it was nervous, right? 427 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,887 - Like, "Oh shit." - Yeah. 428 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,639 I mean, yeah, 'cause, like, I mean, I knew you 429 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:45,851 during that specific time in my life, you know? Like... 430 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,060 Months later? 431 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:50,564 - Right. So it was months later, yeah. - Yeah, a while. A while. 432 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,650 So there's nothing more to Coachella? 433 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,405 It was just a hang? 434 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:00,699 Yeah. 435 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,411 Was that your big reveal, Vanessa? 436 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,707 - Um... - I know you guys didn't stop talking. 437 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,665 No, when Xander and I returned to Hawaii, 438 00:20:13,666 --> 00:20:16,757 when we were trying to make it work, 439 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:22,638 I was surprised when, a few weeks in, I did find out 440 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:26,099 that her and Yoly were planning a trip to Hawaii. 441 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,477 - It was jarring. - To Hawaii? 442 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,561 Yeah. 443 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,688 Was I going to Hawaii? 444 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,482 Can you confirm that, Xander? 445 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:39,196 We had mentioned that you were gonna try and come out at some point. 446 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:40,489 Oh, okay. Okay. 447 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,033 - 'Cause we had talked about it. - Yeah, okay. 448 00:20:43,116 --> 00:20:45,369 You didn't know about the Hawaii trip, did you? 449 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:46,452 No. 450 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,957 She said she needed to stop talking to Xander. 451 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,002 Didn't know that there was actual plans of that or looking up flights. 452 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,964 I had a great time with Xander. 453 00:20:57,881 --> 00:21:01,885 I was hoping to reconnect and try in any way possible. 454 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,179 I was thinking about Yoly. 455 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,098 We had, you know, all these memories 456 00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:09,268 over, like, the three weeks that felt like months. 457 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,812 - We were gonna support each other. - What happened? 458 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:19,194 We were in each other's journey for a little bit, 459 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:22,906 and now we're back to, like, doing our own stuff. 460 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,410 I knew there was something going on inside me that was like, 461 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:29,579 - "You need to figure your shit out." - Mm-hmm. 462 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:30,766 "You got a lot going on. 463 00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:33,041 You don't need to be putting it all over the place," 464 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,501 even though that's what I did. 465 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:38,338 But I feel like I really needed to commit to myself 466 00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:42,217 and, like, figure out how to change the things I wanted to 467 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:46,179 so I could show up better for myself and for any partner that I have. 468 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:50,600 Xander, parenthood was a big topic of conversation for you. 469 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:51,935 You were super ready. 470 00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:54,021 It's definitely a big priority. 471 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:58,692 I just want to make sure that I feel like that I'm able to provide. 472 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:01,320 I feel like it's cool, right? That, like... 473 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,530 I feel like queer people are able to, like... 474 00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,824 We plan a lot. Like, we have to. 475 00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:07,367 So it changes things. 476 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:10,829 Um, so I have to make sure I've got all my stuff squared away first. 477 00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:12,247 - Ducks in a row. - Yeah. 478 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,374 Yoly, where are you at with parenthood? 479 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,043 Um... 480 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,879 Ooh, tears. 481 00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:20,630 Um, I... Ooh. 482 00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:21,840 Sorry. 483 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,676 Um, I thought I would be a parent with Mal. 484 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:25,802 And... 485 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:29,348 I don't want to rush and find a partner, 486 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,393 so I can have someone to have a kid with. Like... 487 00:22:33,977 --> 00:22:35,812 What is more important to me is to have, 488 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:40,442 like, a viable, sustainable, healthy, supportive relationship. 489 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,027 I'm realizing that... 490 00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:43,820 Um... 491 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,531 motherhood might not be a thing for me. 492 00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,369 I didn't think I'd be this sad about it. 493 00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:53,330 But I'm just like, "Shit, I wanted to be a mother, but... " 494 00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:55,999 It's okay. I mean, I can... You know, I have my dog. 495 00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:57,959 There's so many ways you can be a mother, 496 00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,629 but I don't know what that looks like right now, so... 497 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,007 I don't... I don't know. 498 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,927 But I will babysit any one of y'all's. 499 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:12,224 Getting comfortable with what it looks like to not have my own child, 500 00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:18,105 but to still be a mother in every other concept that there is. 501 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:21,233 You're prioritizing yourself, 502 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:23,527 and I think that will pay off in dividends. 503 00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:26,029 I think you're gonna have everything you want. 504 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:28,281 I love that. Thank you for the vote of confidence. 505 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,409 - Have a little faith. - Thank you. 506 00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:31,492 Yeah. 507 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:35,205 Speaking of parenthood, there was a lot of love on the show, 508 00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:37,666 but there was also a lot of puppy love. 509 00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,460 I'm talking about fur babies. 510 00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:42,586 Let's take a look. 511 00:23:42,629 --> 00:23:43,629 Oh God. 512 00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:46,133 Marge for the cock-block. 513 00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:48,969 Margaux's a dog, right? But that's my child, my baby. 514 00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:50,470 - Oh... - Hi. 515 00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,139 You little big booty girl. 516 00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:54,641 If Margaux doesn't like you, I cannot fuck with you. 517 00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:55,642 Good girl! 518 00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:57,185 You ready for bed? 519 00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,311 Go night-night? 520 00:23:58,395 --> 00:24:00,522 You're spoiled. We don't know how to unspoil you. 521 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,732 Tiff and I have discussed having children, 522 00:24:02,816 --> 00:24:05,694 and we decided that, um, we'll take another dog, 523 00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,612 but not have another baby. 524 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,781 Let me give her some sweet potato fries too. 525 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:12,659 Tiff has cooked for Shylo a handful of times, 526 00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:15,328 and this was the first time, um, after two weeks 527 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,122 that Tiff has made me anything. 528 00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:20,000 Got chicken, turkey burger, sweet potatoes. 529 00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:21,126 Yeah? 530 00:24:21,127 --> 00:24:22,127 I support my baby. 531 00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:26,256 How is Shylo? 532 00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:28,300 Shylo is doing good now. 533 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:31,052 She, um, had to get, like, emergency surgery. 534 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:34,014 Um, I spent all Christmas day, 535 00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:36,975 um, in the hospital, uh, for her. 536 00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:38,393 When did Shylo have surgery? 537 00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:39,394 Um... 538 00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,771 December 21st to December 25th? 539 00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:43,982 Ish, yeah, give or take. 540 00:24:44,065 --> 00:24:46,443 I dunno. I just want to get the dates correct 541 00:24:46,526 --> 00:24:48,737 so that I have my facts straight. 542 00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:53,158 What do you mean by, you wanna make sure you have your facts straight? 543 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:57,329 On Christmas Eve, my sister and my family received, like, 544 00:24:57,412 --> 00:25:01,041 messages and phone calls from Tiff that Shylo was not gonna make it, 545 00:25:01,124 --> 00:25:04,002 and that... that they needed to see... 546 00:25:04,085 --> 00:25:06,796 - I didn't say Shylo wasn't gonna make it. - I'm speaking now. 547 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,048 Yeah, sure. 548 00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:11,551 That, like, was very intrusive. 549 00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:13,388 We're not on speaking terms. 550 00:25:13,389 --> 00:25:15,555 You're not allowed in my life anymore, so... 551 00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:17,265 Wait. Oops, sorry. 552 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:21,978 Last time I saw you, you were getting engaged on the beach. 553 00:25:22,062 --> 00:25:24,981 So I take it you're no longer together. 554 00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:29,694 - What happened? - We got engaged, like you know. 555 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,292 Then we decided to move in together, 556 00:25:31,293 --> 00:25:35,742 but there was no plans for the future. 557 00:25:35,825 --> 00:25:37,369 We can never talk about a wedding. 558 00:25:38,161 --> 00:25:41,498 There wasn't anything that I could see in the future with Tiff. 559 00:25:41,581 --> 00:25:45,293 It was like the cloud came back. Like there was no clarity. 560 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:48,129 It felt like, "Well, what did I do all this for 561 00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:50,240 if we're right back into the same thing 562 00:25:50,241 --> 00:25:53,093 where we're not serious about our future?" 563 00:25:53,593 --> 00:25:55,929 I asked, "Can we have a bank account together?" 564 00:25:56,012 --> 00:25:57,722 "Can we do these things together?" 565 00:25:57,806 --> 00:25:59,683 Those things never got done. 566 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,143 "And can you get a job?" That was another topic. 567 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,353 Uh, I had one. 568 00:26:03,436 --> 00:26:07,274 There were so many problems. There were so many... whys. 569 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:08,945 There was a lot of things that happened 570 00:26:08,946 --> 00:26:11,222 that are really hard to talk about. 571 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,113 So I had to make a decision. 572 00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:17,200 It was one of the hardest decisions that I've ever made, ever. 573 00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:19,786 To... leave Tiff. 574 00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:22,122 Real quick. I'm a little confused. 575 00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:25,875 How were you... the one that left? 576 00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:28,795 Are you talking about physically-left-the-premise left? 577 00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:30,838 Tiff, if you want to take the show 578 00:26:30,839 --> 00:26:32,674 and tell everyone you broke up with me, 579 00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:33,757 then that's fine. 580 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,218 It really doesn't matter. 581 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:37,470 Then why go out of your way to say you left? 582 00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:40,265 - Because I left the home, Tiff. - Left the home. Okay. 583 00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:42,058 I parted physically from the home. 584 00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,393 Oh. Okay. 585 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:45,812 Well, what's your perspective? 586 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:52,438 The stuff that we went through post-show was happening on show. 587 00:26:52,527 --> 00:26:56,823 I just feel like we had a overall unhealthy relationship 588 00:26:56,906 --> 00:26:58,742 that was trying our best. 589 00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:00,035 That's the way I saw it. 590 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,995 So why take the next step 591 00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:05,290 if you feel that you had an unhealthy relationship? 592 00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:10,086 Did I feel like we were starting to find ways to communicate 593 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:13,882 where we felt like, at one point, we were on the same side, 594 00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:16,051 on the same team and trusted each other? I did. 595 00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:17,718 You know? 596 00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:19,136 Obviously it changed. 597 00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:23,850 But I'm asking you, why move in with me, when you know I have a child? 598 00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:26,394 Why move in with me when you weren't financially ready? 599 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:29,105 Um, I could ask you the same thing. Why would you? 600 00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,441 - I believed in you. - I believed in you. 601 00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:33,443 I believed you were gonna be committed. 602 00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:37,530 I didn't realize how you were very immature emotionally. 603 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:41,117 You know, I had to take a lot of financial responsibility. 604 00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:43,536 - How? - I felt financially taken advantage of... 605 00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:47,082 How? I never borrowed money from you. What are you even talking about? 606 00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:48,955 I was asked to split the rent of my home 607 00:27:48,956 --> 00:27:50,877 into three because I have a child. 608 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,546 - What the fuck? Oh my God. - I enabled you. 609 00:27:54,255 --> 00:27:55,382 Mildred... 610 00:27:55,383 --> 00:27:56,883 Yes, Tiff. 611 00:27:56,883 --> 00:27:59,219 I didn't tell you to split the rent in three. 612 00:27:59,302 --> 00:28:02,347 I'm sorry. I'm a little naive. I asked. 613 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:04,724 - As far as splitting the rent in three... - You didn't ask me. 614 00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:07,102 - I asked you... No, I did not tell you. - You told me. 615 00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:08,353 I did not tell you. 616 00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:11,731 No. I did not tell you to do that. 617 00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:13,024 So how did it come up? 618 00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:14,734 - Hmm? - How did it come up? 619 00:28:14,818 --> 00:28:16,820 If you didn't tell her. I'm just curious. 620 00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:19,155 If you didn't tell her to split it, how'd it come up? 621 00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:21,741 I didn't ask you to do it. I didn't tell you to do it. 622 00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:24,703 To be honest, I don't remember that exact conversation. 623 00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:26,830 I don't remember how it started, so I can't... 624 00:28:26,913 --> 00:28:29,749 You don't remember, but it happened, and it was hurtful for me. 625 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:30,833 Okay. 626 00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:36,131 So, what was the turning point? What was the moment it went sideways? 627 00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:40,593 Obviously, as you all know, we had a very tumultuous relationship. 628 00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,429 It was a roller coaster. 629 00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:44,723 There was a lot of ups and downs, you know... 630 00:28:46,015 --> 00:28:49,144 It's really hard for me to say. You know, um, I was arrested. 631 00:28:53,231 --> 00:28:55,175 I threw a picture frame, and I broke it, 632 00:28:55,176 --> 00:28:56,985 and the glass shattered everywhere. 633 00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:59,362 I threw a pet gate at you, and it was really heavy. 634 00:28:59,446 --> 00:29:02,782 At the same time, I was grabbing all of your clothes from the closet 635 00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:05,660 and throwing them down stairs, because I wanted you to leave my home... 636 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:08,496 You did throw the dog gate? Police statement says you took it back. 637 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,957 - She just said she did. - Let me finish. I need to finish. 638 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,040 - Okay? - Mm-hm. 639 00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:14,043 You don't have that power over me anymore. 640 00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:16,296 - Yeah, I threw something at you. - Okay. 641 00:29:16,379 --> 00:29:17,714 You called the police at me. 642 00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:20,592 And they arrested me in my home. They took my engagement ring off. 643 00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:21,801 I never put it back on. 644 00:29:23,219 --> 00:29:27,724 I... I'm not proud of what I did, but there was a lot of fighting. 645 00:29:27,807 --> 00:29:30,310 There was always screaming, yelling, punching the walls. 646 00:29:30,393 --> 00:29:31,394 Good God. 647 00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:34,189 Tiff called me a trash mom, degraded me. 648 00:29:34,272 --> 00:29:36,691 There was a lot of problems when it came to my son, 649 00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:39,402 and I did not feel accepted as a mother. 650 00:29:40,236 --> 00:29:42,739 - What do you mean by that? - I come with a package. 651 00:29:42,822 --> 00:29:44,199 My son will always be first. 652 00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:45,909 I will always be a mother first. 653 00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:51,706 Yeah, I did have a problem with connecting with your son, absolutely. 654 00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,666 I did. I tried, but, honestly... 655 00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,585 There was a lot of sneaking around. 656 00:29:55,668 --> 00:29:57,378 You changed the passcode on your phone. 657 00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:02,550 You decided to open a dating app and bring women to the house, 658 00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:03,843 not come home. 659 00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:07,222 - When did I bring a woman to the house? - Like, when... 660 00:30:07,305 --> 00:30:09,724 - We were broken up. - We were, but I was paying rent. 661 00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:10,725 My things were there. 662 00:30:10,725 --> 00:30:14,270 If we're broken up, am I allowed to be on a dating app? 663 00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:15,480 Absolutely. 664 00:30:15,563 --> 00:30:18,191 - No one's judging you for it. - You just did. 665 00:30:18,274 --> 00:30:20,671 I'm judging you for having me 666 00:30:20,672 --> 00:30:23,238 take care of some bills and having my things... 667 00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:25,532 - What bills did you... - ... in the home we created, 668 00:30:25,615 --> 00:30:28,284 while you're out there, you know, sleeping around. 669 00:30:28,368 --> 00:30:30,058 There was a week where I got home 670 00:30:30,059 --> 00:30:32,121 at three in the morning. And guess what? 671 00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:35,458 Tiff wasn't home. That's where I found eyeliner. I don't wear eyeliner. 672 00:30:35,542 --> 00:30:38,169 - What makeup are you talk... - I don't own eyeliner. 673 00:30:38,253 --> 00:30:39,963 I don't know who was in my house. 674 00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:43,341 And there was just all these, like, sex board games. 675 00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:46,511 - Mildred. - That was very painful for me. 676 00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:48,137 I got enough of an imagination. 677 00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:51,015 I don't need no fucking board game. What're you talking about? 678 00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:53,059 I actually have them. They came in the mail. 679 00:30:53,142 --> 00:30:55,019 - The leasing office gave them to me. - Sure. 680 00:30:55,103 --> 00:30:57,647 - What board games? - So I will send you pictures. 681 00:30:57,730 --> 00:30:59,566 - You're screaming to everyone. - Send pictures? 682 00:30:59,649 --> 00:31:02,235 - What board game is it called? - Asking what board games. 683 00:31:02,318 --> 00:31:03,318 I'll send them. 684 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:04,946 - Sex board game? - I'm glad you're... 685 00:31:05,029 --> 00:31:06,093 You're literally here just fucking... 686 00:31:06,094 --> 00:31:08,074 straight-up fucking gaslighting me. 687 00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:10,034 - Are you fucking kidding? - I have them. 688 00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:12,412 I don't care what it's called. What I care about is... 689 00:31:12,413 --> 00:31:13,413 What are you... 690 00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:15,045 ... you did that to me while I was living with you. 691 00:31:15,046 --> 00:31:16,749 That's what I care about. 692 00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:18,459 - Mildred. - The betrayal. 693 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,253 This is the way I look at everything... 694 00:31:20,336 --> 00:31:23,423 I hope you let me talk. Every time you talk it makes this ear... 695 00:31:23,506 --> 00:31:25,049 Like, it just hurts my ear. 696 00:31:33,016 --> 00:31:34,058 Shit. 697 00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:36,978 Tiff. 698 00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:55,914 I'm not taking sides here, 699 00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:58,374 but just Tiff saying the word "gaslighting," 700 00:31:58,458 --> 00:32:03,338 um, it just brought back a lot of my experience with, um, Mildred. 701 00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:07,008 I just feel like Tiff was just put on blast right now 702 00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:10,929 because there was all the blame put on one person, 703 00:32:11,012 --> 00:32:12,805 and it didn't feel right to me. 704 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,398 I wanna talk to Tiff. 705 00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:26,069 Do you need water? Do you need anything? 706 00:32:26,152 --> 00:32:27,862 - It's a lot. - Yeah, it is a lot. 707 00:32:31,866 --> 00:32:36,496 I'm literally questioning my fucking reality... 708 00:32:36,579 --> 00:32:39,999 Like, what is this? Like, I'm literally being, like, gaslit. 709 00:32:40,083 --> 00:32:42,210 Not on everything, but a lie. 710 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:44,337 Like, I didn't... 711 00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,882 I have no problem admitting where I went wrong, 712 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:51,219 but I will speak up on some things that did not happen. 713 00:33:02,063 --> 00:33:05,817 I did have a rough... Like, it was hard to connect to her son. 714 00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:08,987 But there's also certain things that... 715 00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:10,989 Like, I have so much fucking proof... 716 00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:14,117 What? Do you want bank statements of me paying my fucking rent? 717 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,994 - Where's all this stuff? - You don't have to. 718 00:33:16,077 --> 00:33:18,204 - Why do I constantly feel like I need to... - Hey. 719 00:33:18,287 --> 00:33:20,331 - You don't... Yeah. - What the fuck, dude? 720 00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:23,209 You don't need to prove anything to her, okay? 721 00:33:23,292 --> 00:33:24,419 Like, you're not... 722 00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:26,838 - That's what I've been doing. - I know. I know. 723 00:33:26,921 --> 00:33:28,715 And now you're done, right? 724 00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:34,512 Like, now this is your realization, and enough's enough. Right? 725 00:33:34,595 --> 00:33:37,140 I'm not going back in to talk. I'm not going back in. 726 00:33:37,223 --> 00:33:40,226 What's honestly best for me is to never see her fucking face again. 727 00:33:40,309 --> 00:33:42,979 - No, I hear it. - Like, it's that simple. Like, I... 728 00:33:43,062 --> 00:33:44,897 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 729 00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:46,607 - Like, I... - Yeah. 730 00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:49,777 - I want to move on, in that sense. - Yeah. 731 00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:53,948 We should walk to the studio, even if you go in or not, 732 00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,742 'cause you're gonna get your death of cold. 733 00:34:00,496 --> 00:34:02,290 - Thank you, Sam. - Yeah. 734 00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:10,757 Hey, Sam. How are you feeling? 735 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,216 It's cold outside. 736 00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:15,511 Well, we're glad you're back. 737 00:34:16,095 --> 00:34:17,847 Can I ask, is Tiff coming back? 738 00:34:17,930 --> 00:34:19,015 No. 739 00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:23,644 - How's Tiff doing? - As good as Tiff can be doing right now. 740 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:36,157 Mildred, where are you in your healing process with all of this? 741 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:39,368 It's just been really hard to just rebuild everything. 742 00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:41,913 But I'm doing really good. 743 00:34:41,996 --> 00:34:45,124 And I'm not happy I don't have Tiff. Obviously, it's a loss. 744 00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:47,752 But I'm happy that I'm happy, genuinely. 745 00:34:47,835 --> 00:34:50,671 And are you dating or open to that? 746 00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,383 I know that I eventually will get there because I love love. 747 00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:56,886 And I believe in love. 748 00:34:56,969 --> 00:34:59,347 So I know that day is gonna come. 749 00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:00,973 It's just not here yet. 750 00:35:01,057 --> 00:35:02,058 I love that. 751 00:35:02,141 --> 00:35:03,726 - I love that for you. - Thank you. 752 00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:07,605 I want to move on to Sam and Aussie. 753 00:35:07,688 --> 00:35:08,773 How are you? 754 00:35:08,856 --> 00:35:11,025 Where are you? 755 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:14,028 Have you gotten something other than a rock for an engagement ring? 756 00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:16,531 I laughed so hard when I saw that. 757 00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:18,866 And your face was so great. You were like... 758 00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:21,869 I was hoping for some laugh track in the background, you know? 759 00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:23,496 - You got it from me. - Good shit. 760 00:35:23,579 --> 00:35:24,789 - It was crickets. - I laughed. 761 00:35:24,872 --> 00:35:27,834 It was such a long pause. After "rock," I was like, "Okay... " 762 00:35:27,917 --> 00:35:31,254 In real life, it was, like, five times longer than what... 763 00:35:31,337 --> 00:35:33,673 - Oh my God! - It really was. 764 00:35:33,756 --> 00:35:35,925 - But it worked out. - But it worked out. 765 00:35:36,008 --> 00:35:37,008 You left engaged. 766 00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:39,470 So are you wedding planning? Are you married? 767 00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:41,889 - Where are you in you relationship? - We're not married yet. 768 00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:43,391 We're kind of waiting. 769 00:35:43,474 --> 00:35:46,269 It was kinda like, "How do we explain this to people?" 770 00:35:46,352 --> 00:35:49,480 Like, it's just so awkward. Do we make up a story? 771 00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:51,065 Like, I don't know. 772 00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:53,568 You don't have pictures. You're not putting it on social media. 773 00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:56,195 - It's, like, just weird. - It was really funny. 774 00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:58,698 We were watching TV on the couch, and I was like, 775 00:35:58,781 --> 00:36:02,368 "So you know that being engaged means you get married after, right?" 776 00:36:02,451 --> 00:36:03,870 It's a process. 777 00:36:03,953 --> 00:36:05,454 Like a deer in the headlights. 778 00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:09,333 - Like, Aussie didn't make the connection. - "Oh, wait a minute... " 779 00:36:11,544 --> 00:36:13,087 So what's new in your life? 780 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:17,216 Um, I have to say there's been a lot of, uh, self-discovery. 781 00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:19,682 I have a hard time figuring out who I am, 782 00:36:19,683 --> 00:36:22,513 in terms of, like, my relationship 783 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:25,933 from what I experienced in... You know, when I was younger. 784 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,644 So building that "What do I want?" 785 00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:30,897 That's been my journey right now. 786 00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:33,900 A lot of your struggles were about communication. 787 00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:36,736 Do you feel like your communication has gotten stronger? 788 00:36:36,819 --> 00:36:38,946 - Yeah. - We've kinda found this balance of... 789 00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:43,534 Okay, I need to sit with the discomfort of, like, allowing space, 790 00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:46,954 and, like, Aussie sits with the discomfort of, like... 791 00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:47,955 Staying. 792 00:36:47,955 --> 00:36:51,167 ... shortening that time needing, like, space away. 793 00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:54,045 And so it's kinda... We've kinda just, like, figured it out. 794 00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:55,963 - Compromise. - Yeah. 795 00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:58,049 I feel like I'm like Aussie. 796 00:36:58,132 --> 00:37:00,176 Like, I need that space, 797 00:37:00,259 --> 00:37:03,971 and for you to, like, kind of realize that you need to allow that... 798 00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:06,515 - It's really special. - I could not agree more with her. 799 00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:09,185 Truthfully, 'cause I know it's something we fight about. 800 00:37:09,268 --> 00:37:10,970 And I'm like, "I sure as hell don't know 801 00:37:10,971 --> 00:37:13,397 if I could've given that much space." 802 00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:15,441 It's like, "Damn, Sam. Like... " 803 00:37:15,524 --> 00:37:17,735 Like, holy crap. 804 00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:19,362 I definitely couldn't do it. 805 00:37:19,445 --> 00:37:20,780 - So... - You can do better. 806 00:37:22,031 --> 00:37:23,480 Aussie, during the experience, 807 00:37:23,481 --> 00:37:27,370 your family really didn't know... where you... 808 00:37:27,453 --> 00:37:29,121 - Have you met? - Not yet. 809 00:37:29,205 --> 00:37:30,748 Do they know about Sam? 810 00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:32,667 They don't yet. 811 00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:36,462 Um, that's something I want to cross when we announce the engagement. 812 00:37:36,545 --> 00:37:37,922 And, um, you know, 813 00:37:38,005 --> 00:37:40,549 we haven't done that yet with our family members. 814 00:37:41,133 --> 00:37:44,053 But that's something that I... They'll find out. 815 00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:46,764 - Okay. So that's the plan. - That's the plan. 816 00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:47,932 Surprise. 817 00:37:48,015 --> 00:37:49,308 Oh my God. 818 00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:52,520 In the past, maybe I would have, like, not told them about it, 819 00:37:52,603 --> 00:37:56,983 but I'm trying to embrace me, and I'm trying to be more open 820 00:37:57,066 --> 00:38:00,027 and, um, just my... my... live my truth. 821 00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:02,655 So, I'm gonna go with it. 822 00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:04,907 So are we headed to Australia for a wedding? 823 00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:06,534 - Yes. - Yeah. 824 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,536 - We were gonna have two... - Really? 825 00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:10,162 - Destination wedding? - We'll be there. 826 00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:12,331 I think we'll have two. One here and one there. 827 00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,834 - Okay. - So that, yeah, everyone can attend. 828 00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:15,918 That is so cute. 829 00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,796 It's great to see your happy ending. 830 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:22,091 - Thank you. - Watching everyone's internal struggle 831 00:38:22,174 --> 00:38:26,762 and how really we all just put our hearts on the line, so much... 832 00:38:26,846 --> 00:38:30,391 And there was so much growth and so much change in all of us. 833 00:38:30,474 --> 00:38:32,954 Um, and I appreciate... I mean, 834 00:38:32,955 --> 00:38:34,228 I feel like I grew with all of you guys. 835 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:36,897 And it's just... It really was just incredible to see. 836 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:41,068 I feel like I cried more watching it than I did... during it. 837 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,404 Which is surprising, I know. 838 00:38:43,988 --> 00:38:47,366 I have so much respect for all of you for sharing this journey. 839 00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:48,852 It was really a beautiful thing, 840 00:38:48,853 --> 00:38:51,620 and why I think this whole story is so compelling. 841 00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:53,914 Do you have any regrets, watching back? 842 00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:57,209 Biggest regret is that I made bad impressions on you guys. 843 00:38:57,293 --> 00:39:00,087 I came in here thinking, "What an amazing thing." 844 00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:03,132 "I'm gonna get to hang out with... " Nine? 845 00:39:03,215 --> 00:39:04,759 "... nine queer people." 846 00:39:04,842 --> 00:39:06,177 "Like, this is a dream." 847 00:39:06,260 --> 00:39:08,763 And it... it didn't turn out like that. 848 00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:10,806 And I'm a big reason for that. 849 00:39:11,557 --> 00:39:15,394 I firmly believe when I say that, if Rae and I hadn't worked out, 850 00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:18,064 the experience would have been every bit as worth it 851 00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:20,775 to have just, like, had what I had with Mal. 852 00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:22,777 It's so hard to meet friends nowadays. 853 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:24,945 It's harder to meet people that become family. 854 00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:27,114 - Yeah. - It's hard to do that in three weeks. 855 00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:29,200 We had some funny moments. 856 00:39:29,283 --> 00:39:31,494 It was worth the challenges. Yeah. 857 00:39:31,577 --> 00:39:34,372 I think we had it for the... We did it for the right reasons. 858 00:39:34,455 --> 00:39:36,624 You know, you have to pick... 859 00:39:36,707 --> 00:39:39,502 You have to choose... In hard moments, you have to pick love. 860 00:39:39,585 --> 00:39:42,588 When I'm not my best self, Sam's not her best self, 861 00:39:42,671 --> 00:39:47,551 like, we just have to, you know, choose each other again and again. 862 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:51,013 So how do you feel about ultimatums? 863 00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:52,431 I think one was enough. 864 00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:53,516 Still hate 'em. 865 00:39:53,599 --> 00:39:55,226 - Still hate 'em? Okay. - Yeah, no. 866 00:39:55,309 --> 00:39:58,187 When you're given an ultimatum, there's so much pressure, 867 00:39:58,270 --> 00:40:01,273 and, like, I was feeling a lot of resentment. 868 00:40:01,941 --> 00:40:04,485 Now I'm in the place where I did make my decision, 869 00:40:04,568 --> 00:40:05,569 and I'm happy. 870 00:40:05,653 --> 00:40:07,822 But no more ultimatums, lady. 871 00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:10,074 I won't. I won't. I got you. I promise. 872 00:40:10,157 --> 00:40:11,200 - We all heard it? - Yep. 873 00:40:11,283 --> 00:40:13,536 - A promise made. - It's on record. Stamping it. 874 00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:15,371 I can own that. 875 00:40:15,454 --> 00:40:18,124 I still am a firm believer that we wouldn't be where we are 876 00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:19,250 if we didn't do this. 877 00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:20,750 I second that. 878 00:40:21,752 --> 00:40:24,130 - Are you all happy you did the show? - Yes. 879 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,757 I feel really grateful for where I'm at now. 880 00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:29,301 - It brought clarity for you? - Yeah. 881 00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:31,137 You date so much differently now. 882 00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:32,850 Like, I'm so proud of how you move 883 00:40:32,851 --> 00:40:35,182 through your life and your choices now. 884 00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:36,725 Oh yeah. I'm more confident. 885 00:40:36,809 --> 00:40:38,561 I listen to my voice more. 886 00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:42,273 And because of that, I've also had really great dating experiences. 887 00:40:42,356 --> 00:40:44,275 Like, it makes me so happy. 888 00:40:44,358 --> 00:40:45,443 I love that. 889 00:40:45,526 --> 00:40:50,197 Thank you for your generosity and your trust in The Ultimatum. 890 00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:51,449 Thank you. 891 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,082 Your dad's okay? 892 00:41:00,082 --> 00:41:01,500 Yeah. You know... 893 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:31,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 71420

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