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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
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00:00:10,139 --> 00:00:12,026
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
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00:00:12,109 --> 00:00:13,424
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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00:00:13,507 --> 00:00:15,341
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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00:00:15,443 --> 00:00:16,524
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
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00:00:16,607 --> 00:00:18,395
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
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00:00:22,187 --> 00:00:23,269
♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:23,352 --> 00:00:25,607
♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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00:00:28,621 --> 00:00:29,704
♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
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♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
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How was school today, bud?
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It was fine.
15
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,434
Look, Stan, I know it's been
really hard for you
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the past month,
with us not having a home.
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00:00:57,822 --> 00:00:59,723
Yeah, it sucks.
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I've tried to find work,
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00:01:01,225 --> 00:01:02,537
but there's just not a lot
out there.
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00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,026
And with
the government shutdown,
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I can't get my job back
with the USGS.
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00:01:06,693 --> 00:01:10,082
Times are hard,
and I know we all miss Tegridy.
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I don't miss Tegridy, Dad.
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I just hate that our family
is living in a motel.
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It's really embarrassing.
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Well, that's what
I need to tell you, Stan.
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There's some good news...
we're moving out of the motel.
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Wait, really?
We can live in a house again?
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00:01:23,676 --> 00:01:26,331
Well, no, we can't afford
a house, so...
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we're moving in
with your grandpa.
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Moving in with Grandpa?
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This is a bunch of bull crap!
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First you stick me
in this place,
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and then you all come along?
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Pretty nice, huh, guys?
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There's a TV, a microwave,
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and we have Bingo on Thursdays.
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There has to be somewhere else
we can live.
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Come on, Stan.
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You have that space over there
by Grandpa's shit pan.
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You can't make me stay here.
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This is completely inhumane.
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That's what I said!
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Didn't work.
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OK, so then over here
is where you're gonna have
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the big golden pillars
that you guys wanted.
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Ah, yeah! That's great!
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OK, and then right over here
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is where we're gonna put
your dance floor.
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All right!
51
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Wait, dance floor?
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I thought we were
knocking the East Wing down
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to make room for the nursery.
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-The what?
-The nursery!
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You said all this remodeling
was for the baby,
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not to make room for more
of your stupid parties.
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Hey, relax, guy!
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We can just stick the baby
in the bathroom or something.
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Wow! OK, so obviously I have
no say in this remodel.
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Mr. President, sir.
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I'm very sorry, but we need to
speak with you urgently.
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It's a matter
of national security.
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We don't want to frighten you,
Mr. President,
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00:03:02,674 --> 00:03:05,094
but we've received intelligence
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that someone might be trying to
stop your baby from being born.
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What?
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Who?
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Hey! Relax, guy!
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We don't know who yet, sir,
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00:03:17,625 --> 00:03:19,856
but Pam Bondi has been
looking into it.
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That's right, sir,
we won't let any harm
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come to the baby of the greatest
president that ever lived.
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You are without equal, sir...
-Uh, hey, Pam.
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00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:28,752
And we are honored to be...
Pam. Pam, sorry.
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You got a little shit
on your nose there.
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Oh, do I?
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Did I get it?
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00:03:35,045 --> 00:03:36,377
No, it's still there.
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00:03:36,479 --> 00:03:38,801
If someone is trying
to harm the baby,
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then we must know who.
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Well, there is... one theory.
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Some people believe that
by demolishing the East Wing,
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we may have unleashed
some sort of... wrath.
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What kind of wrath?
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Vengeful...
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00:04:02,905 --> 00:04:04,038
wrath.
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00:04:18,419 --> 00:04:20,142
What the hell is going on?
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I was supposed to be
in Washington.
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There has been a change
in plan, Mr. Thiel.
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They are on to us
at the White House.
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00:04:28,866 --> 00:04:29,984
But how?
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How did they find out?
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00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,102
Someone must have heard us
talking.
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Do you still have the child?
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Yes, he's here.
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I have him heavily sedated.
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It should last
another six, seven hours.
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Six, seven!
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00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,284
But I can't keep him here
forever.
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00:04:47,386 --> 00:04:50,834
You'll just have to wait
until it is safe.
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I think some brownnoser here
is after my job.
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Hey.
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Come on in.
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00:05:13,072 --> 00:05:15,774
You guys can't tell anybody
that I'm living here.
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Stan, you shouldn't be
embarrassed, all right?
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00:05:17,778 --> 00:05:19,447
Everyone's having a hard time
right now.
107
00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:21,236
Yeah, everyone's having
a hard time.
108
00:05:21,319 --> 00:05:22,501
And you know what
the problem is?
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00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:24,120
Nobody's doing anything
about it.
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00:05:24,222 --> 00:05:25,341
How many weeks has it been now,
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00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:27,335
dealing with one stupid thing
after another?
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00:05:27,418 --> 00:05:30,210
The truth is, I think a lot of
people are just afraid to admit
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that South Park sucks now.
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South Park sucks now?
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Yeah, everyone knows it.
South Park sucks now.
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And it's because of
all this political shit.
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We're just getting totally
bogged down in it.
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Remember when we
used to do stuff?
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Just us guys?
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Ever since all this
political crap took over,
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it's like... what?
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Like... like what happened to us?
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Like, Kenny, I haven't even
heard you say anything
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in, like, four months.
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You see? That's what I mean!
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We don't even know what to say.
127
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South Park's getting ruined,
and all of us Gen Alpha kids
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are just sitting here,
watching it happen.
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-You're right, dude.
-Yeah!
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00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:03,989
But what do we do?
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I know exactly what to do.
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Hey, guys,
are you sick and tired
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00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:12,048
of what's happening to our town?
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00:06:12,131 --> 00:06:14,391
Do you feel like it's broken
and going nowhere?
135
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,222
Then click below
and join our online community
136
00:06:16,305 --> 00:06:17,589
at South Park Sucks Now.
137
00:06:17,672 --> 00:06:19,001
Things are clearly
not right here,
138
00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:20,556
and if you're like us,
you are fed up!
139
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,007
South Park Sucks Now!
140
00:06:22,109 --> 00:06:24,464
So please, like and subscribe,
smash the button, up vote...
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00:06:24,547 --> 00:06:25,599
whatever the hell
you need to do,
142
00:06:25,682 --> 00:06:28,970
because together,
we can make a difference.
143
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,808
Mr. President,
we don't want you to be afraid.
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00:06:36,891 --> 00:06:40,192
Tell us exactly what it is
you think you saw.
145
00:06:41,798 --> 00:06:44,149
Ever since I tore down
the East Wing, there's...
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00:06:44,232 --> 00:06:45,922
this thing
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00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,697
that keeps appearing.
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What kind of thing?
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00:06:51,673 --> 00:06:53,930
Sometimes I see it in a mirror.
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00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:55,711
Or in the hallway.
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00:06:55,813 --> 00:06:57,761
President Trump,
you are an incredible man.
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00:06:57,844 --> 00:06:59,964
Whatever this is,
we have your back.
153
00:07:00,047 --> 00:07:02,465
Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some
shit on your nose again.
154
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,440
Oh, really?
155
00:07:04,523 --> 00:07:07,143
Mr. President,
this entity you speak of,
156
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,838
how many times has it appeared?
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00:07:08,921 --> 00:07:11,589
It appears more and more lately.
158
00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:13,279
I-I can't get away from it.
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It's everywhere I go.
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00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:18,481
It's here right now.
161
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,068
In the corner.
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00:07:24,509 --> 00:07:27,778
I'm pretty sure
that's your wife, sir.
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00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,443
My wife?
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00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:31,079
What does it want?
165
00:07:33,948 --> 00:07:36,506
Maybe it's somehow
trying to communicate.
166
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,702
Don't worry, we won't let
anything happen to you.
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00:07:38,785 --> 00:07:40,421
Ah! Where did Pam Bondi go?
168
00:07:40,524 --> 00:07:42,589
-What?
-Pam Bondi! She's gone!
169
00:07:42,691 --> 00:07:44,210
But she was sitting right here!
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00:07:44,293 --> 00:07:45,259
-Pam?
-Pam?
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00:07:45,361 --> 00:07:46,755
Where's Pam Bondi?
172
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,123
I'm right here, sir!
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00:07:48,225 --> 00:07:50,797
-Look, it's back.
-What's back?
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00:07:50,899 --> 00:07:52,485
You've got some shit
on your nose again.
175
00:07:52,568 --> 00:07:54,984
Oh, my God! What is going on?
176
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,937
That thing!
It's not there anymore.
177
00:07:59,911 --> 00:08:01,205
Ah!
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00:08:08,748 --> 00:08:10,005
Good morning, seniors.
179
00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:11,672
It's 6:30 a.m.
180
00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:14,076
Rise and shine
for your morning medication.
181
00:08:14,159 --> 00:08:15,906
Ugh, God, 6:30?
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00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:18,090
Yeah, it fucking sucks,
doesn't it?
183
00:08:26,169 --> 00:08:27,383
Holy shit.
184
00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:28,498
What?
185
00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,224
Holy shit.
186
00:08:30,307 --> 00:08:33,168
756,000 likes, you guys.
187
00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:35,357
We just built a massive
online community.
188
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,932
Wow. I can't believe
how many people agree with us.
189
00:08:38,015 --> 00:08:40,069
I thought we could get 50 or
60 kids from school to sign up,
190
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,229
but this is incredible.
191
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,731
All right,
we've got everyone's attention.
192
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:43,868
So what do we do now?
193
00:08:43,951 --> 00:08:45,734
What do you mean, dude?
It's obvious.
194
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,438
It's time for phase two.
195
00:08:49,955 --> 00:08:51,990
Hey, guys, if you've come here,
196
00:08:52,093 --> 00:08:54,045
then you're likely joining
the chorus of voices
197
00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:56,663
that's fed up with the direction
our town is going.
198
00:08:56,765 --> 00:08:59,368
We all want change
in our community.
199
00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:01,224
And now there's an opportunity
200
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:03,220
to truly make your voices heard.
201
00:09:03,303 --> 00:09:07,677
Introducing the South Park
Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin.
202
00:09:07,779 --> 00:09:09,599
This digital meme token
is your way to be a part
203
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,393
of the fastest-growing community
in America.
204
00:09:11,476 --> 00:09:13,729
This used to be a great town
before all the politics came
205
00:09:13,812 --> 00:09:14,930
and ruined it all.
206
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,405
Get in on our crypto meme coin
207
00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,140
with this incredible
presale offer.
208
00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,575
Each coin is just $9.95,
209
00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,374
but could be worth
ten times that overnight!
210
00:09:21,457 --> 00:09:22,807
Wait, a meme coin?
211
00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,273
Do you want South Park
to change?
212
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:27,417
Then order your coin today
at South Park Sucks Now.com.
213
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,584
Stan Marsh is not
a financial advisor
214
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:29,616
affiliated with
any financial institution.
215
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:30,584
Digital assets
are highly volatile
216
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:31,583
and may involve
significant risk,
217
00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:32,751
including loss of all funds.
218
00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:34,086
Ownership of South Park
Sucks Now Coin
219
00:09:34,169 --> 00:09:35,116
does not represent equity,
profit sharing, or ownership
220
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:36,550
of any company platform
or project.
221
00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:37,791
Participation is voluntary
and should only be undertaken
222
00:09:37,874 --> 00:09:38,824
by individuals who fully
understand the risks
223
00:09:38,907 --> 00:09:40,058
associated with
block chain assets.
224
00:09:40,141 --> 00:09:41,323
South Park Sucks Now Coin
is not registered with
225
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:42,931
or regulated by the SEC
or any financial authority.
226
00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:44,261
Please review all disclosures
and consult a licensed financial
227
00:09:44,344 --> 00:09:46,464
advisor before engaging in
digital asset transactions.
228
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,217
Ahh!
229
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,318
Ah, fuck!
230
00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:39,849
Fuck!
-What?
231
00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:42,523
It's the Woman in the Hat!
232
00:10:42,606 --> 00:10:43,852
What are you talking about?
233
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,053
The Woman in the Hat!
234
00:10:45,136 --> 00:10:47,602
She's in the fucking bathroom!
235
00:10:50,076 --> 00:10:51,830
We've double checked
everything, sir.
236
00:10:51,913 --> 00:10:53,501
All the exterior doors
are locked.
237
00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:55,338
No windows have been breached.
238
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,817
And yet the president swears
239
00:10:56,919 --> 00:10:58,374
something was
in the room with him.
240
00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,702
Is he going to be all right?
241
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,211
Pretty shaken.
242
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,404
Pam Bondi is in there now
243
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,345
trying to calm him down
and make him feel better.
244
00:11:06,397 --> 00:11:08,183
Pam?
245
00:11:08,266 --> 00:11:09,514
Oh, my God!
246
00:11:17,409 --> 00:11:20,008
Stan, what are we doing?
247
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:22,430
What do you mean, dude?
We're trying to change things.
248
00:11:22,513 --> 00:11:24,525
By selling cryptocurrency?
249
00:11:24,608 --> 00:11:26,528
What's wrong with trying
to make a little money
250
00:11:26,611 --> 00:11:28,869
while also pointing out the
things wrong with our town?
251
00:11:28,952 --> 00:11:30,065
Yeah, what's wrong with that?
252
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,367
I have to do something, Kyle.
253
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,401
I'm nine years old
and I live in a retirement home.
254
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,878
And you really think
crypto is your way out?
255
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:38,210
Do you even know anything
about how that stuff works?
256
00:11:38,293 --> 00:11:40,991
Well, actually, we have
a really strong crypto advisor...
257
00:11:41,093 --> 00:11:43,495
your cousin on the east coast.
258
00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:45,220
My cousin?
259
00:11:45,303 --> 00:11:47,252
I'm back!
260
00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:49,016
All right, looks like
we've got a lot of movement
261
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,373
on your coin, boys.
262
00:11:50,475 --> 00:11:51,785
The presale really popped.
263
00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:54,056
We cleared 100 grand in volume
before liquidity even locked.
264
00:11:54,139 --> 00:11:55,844
The token's really got traction.
265
00:11:55,947 --> 00:11:58,046
And we don't ever have to pay
anything, right?
266
00:11:58,148 --> 00:12:00,469
Nope, you never pay anything.
You guys created the coin,
267
00:12:00,552 --> 00:12:01,633
so all you do is profit from it.
268
00:12:01,716 --> 00:12:03,187
See? I told you.
269
00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:05,906
Now we just need to keep
creating hype
270
00:12:05,989 --> 00:12:07,635
around the South Park Sucks Now
digital coin,
271
00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,855
so we need to come up with
things to give people FOMO
272
00:12:09,957 --> 00:12:11,811
and make them ape even harder.
273
00:12:11,894 --> 00:12:13,810
You guys,
this isn't about a coin.
274
00:12:13,893 --> 00:12:15,563
It's about a movement.
275
00:12:15,665 --> 00:12:16,815
Oh, that's really good.
276
00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:18,117
Yeah, yeah, that's perfect.
277
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,920
"This isn't about a coin.
It's about a movement."
278
00:12:20,003 --> 00:12:22,154
Yeah, that's some savvy
Jew Jitsu right there.
279
00:12:22,237 --> 00:12:23,424
So what kind of time frame
are we looking at
280
00:12:23,507 --> 00:12:24,460
to get our money?
281
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:25,875
I need it as fast as possible.
282
00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:27,659
Well, I think we're looking at
a classic rug pull
283
00:12:27,742 --> 00:12:28,829
in just a few days.
284
00:12:28,912 --> 00:12:30,296
Once we pump the coin
high as it'll go,
285
00:12:30,379 --> 00:12:32,394
then I can register for an MSB
with the federal government.
286
00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:34,748
The federal government?
That sounds hard.
287
00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:36,335
Oh, no, it's gonna be easy.
288
00:12:36,418 --> 00:12:38,468
The crypto corruption at the
White House is off the chain.
289
00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:40,309
We're gonna screw a lot of
people out of their money, boys.
290
00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:42,189
It's gonna be fantastic.
291
00:12:53,699 --> 00:12:55,903
Yes?
292
00:12:56,005 --> 00:12:58,859
Uh, yes,
we're paranormal investigators.
293
00:12:58,942 --> 00:13:00,463
We've been asked to come
and investigate
294
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:03,610
the mysterious Woman in the Hat.
295
00:13:03,712 --> 00:13:07,198
I am Stephen Miller,
296
00:13:07,281 --> 00:13:09,701
Senior Advisor to the President
for Immigration
297
00:13:09,784 --> 00:13:11,419
and Domestic Policy.
298
00:13:14,018 --> 00:13:15,210
Won't you...
299
00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:17,928
come in?
300
00:13:22,298 --> 00:13:24,449
PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR HUSBAND:
Oh, my God, it's incredible.
301
00:13:24,532 --> 00:13:28,097
Subject is showing some kind of
viscous residue on her nose.
302
00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:30,221
Well, what the fuck is it?
303
00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:32,691
Sometimes there's
a physical manifestation
304
00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:34,160
of spiritual energy...
305
00:13:34,243 --> 00:13:37,145
a bridge between
the spiritual world and ours.
306
00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:41,449
In this case, it appears to be
some kind of rectoplasm.
307
00:13:41,551 --> 00:13:42,998
Rectoplasm?
308
00:13:43,081 --> 00:13:44,651
What is it made of?
309
00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:46,041
It's unbelievable!
310
00:13:46,124 --> 00:13:49,622
The rectoplasm seems to be 54%
Filet-O-Fish sandwich!
311
00:13:49,724 --> 00:13:50,879
Oh, my God!
312
00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:52,990
I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich
last night!
313
00:13:53,092 --> 00:13:54,844
-Jesus!
-And it's also...
314
00:13:54,927 --> 00:13:57,418
28% Taco Bell.
315
00:13:57,501 --> 00:13:58,832
Oh, my God!
316
00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:00,851
I ate Taco Bell this morning!
317
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:02,183
What does it mean?
318
00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:06,187
And it's 14% its own cum.
319
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:09,276
Oh, my God! I ate...
320
00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:16,432
Hey! Pam! Deal with them!
321
00:14:16,515 --> 00:14:21,108
This is a Fox News
Super Alert!
322
00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:23,878
Two paranormal investigators
were indicted today
323
00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:26,742
on federal charges
of falsifying data.
324
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,830
The president said that the
bad people manipulated readings
325
00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:32,252
and reports to make fake news.
326
00:14:32,335 --> 00:14:35,616
The charges were filed
by Attorney General Pam Bondi,
327
00:14:35,699 --> 00:14:38,288
who said that "the President
is a great man,
328
00:14:38,371 --> 00:14:40,673
even if he does
eat his own semen."
329
00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:42,044
In other news,
330
00:14:42,146 --> 00:14:44,846
many people are saying
that South Park sucks now.
331
00:14:44,948 --> 00:14:46,709
The small mountain town
in Colorado
332
00:14:46,811 --> 00:14:49,770
has been a hotbed of political
activity in recent weeks,
333
00:14:49,853 --> 00:14:51,640
and three local Gen Alpha boys
334
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:54,189
are vowing to put a stop to it.
335
00:14:54,988 --> 00:14:56,642
OK, we're mooning.
336
00:14:56,725 --> 00:14:58,108
We're mooning...
337
00:14:58,191 --> 00:14:59,524
All right, that's gotta be it.
338
00:14:59,626 --> 00:15:01,615
OK, we're done mooning.
I think we're ready to dump.
339
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:03,818
OK, sounds good.
340
00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:05,955
I'm on the Acela train
right now.
341
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:08,870
I should be in DC by 6:30
to meet with Don Jr.
342
00:15:08,972 --> 00:15:10,090
Once I get White House approval,
343
00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:11,593
we should be able
to do the rug pull.
344
00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:14,739
-I'm out, dude.
-Kyle?
345
00:15:14,842 --> 00:15:16,574
Kyle, wait!
346
00:15:17,715 --> 00:15:18,968
Dude, you can't quit now.
347
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,433
Do you know how much money
we're about to make?
348
00:15:20,516 --> 00:15:23,135
I thought you were sick of the
way South Park was going, Stan.
349
00:15:23,218 --> 00:15:25,081
-I am!
-So then why are you trying
350
00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:26,337
to engineer a rug pull
351
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:27,942
in conjunction with
the federal government?
352
00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:30,561
Bro, it's the world
we live in, OK?
353
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,942
I mean, at least we're being men
354
00:15:32,025 --> 00:15:33,343
and taking some control.
355
00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:35,279
Look at Kenny,
he... he's doing stuff now!
356
00:15:35,362 --> 00:15:36,680
Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff!
357
00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:39,601
I know it sucks to be living
in an old folks home, Stan,
358
00:15:39,703 --> 00:15:40,691
but you can't fix things
359
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,501
if you're only thinking
about yourself.
360
00:16:05,022 --> 00:16:07,593
Yes?
361
00:16:07,695 --> 00:16:10,647
Uh, yes, I'm with the South
Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency.
362
00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:12,554
We're trying to fuck a bunch of
people out of their money.
363
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:14,053
Is Don Jr. around?
364
00:16:14,136 --> 00:16:17,637
Ah, yes,
he's been expecting you.
365
00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,637
Do come in.
366
00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:28,002
Oh, Jesus, it's a little
drafty in here.
367
00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:30,701
You'll have to excuse
the conditions.
368
00:16:30,784 --> 00:16:34,149
The master has taken down the
East Wing and unleashed a wrath.
369
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,623
Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy!
370
00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:43,832
No, no, that's just the head
of the FCC.
371
00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:46,048
He's lost his freedom of speech.
372
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:52,890
Come. Don Jr. is... this way.
373
00:16:58,282 --> 00:17:00,346
Thanks so much for taking
my meeting, Don Jr.
374
00:17:00,448 --> 00:17:02,235
We've got an incredible
crypto opportunity here
375
00:17:02,318 --> 00:17:04,233
and we just need your help
taking a big dump.
376
00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:05,683
That sounds really great.
377
00:17:05,785 --> 00:17:08,686
There's nothing I like better
than a big crypto dump.
378
00:17:08,788 --> 00:17:10,704
So sorry I had to bug you
this late in the evening,
379
00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:12,712
but time really is
of the essence here.
380
00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:18,080
We need everyone to gather
in the dining room.
381
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,702
Immediately.
382
00:17:19,804 --> 00:17:22,365
In the dining room? Why?
383
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:24,894
We are going to have a séance.
384
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:28,797
It's time to confront
the spirit here.
385
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,844
The... the spirit? What spirit?
386
00:17:38,188 --> 00:17:39,400
Yeah, I can see
the price is going down.
387
00:17:39,483 --> 00:17:40,890
What the hell is he doing?
388
00:17:40,992 --> 00:17:42,192
He's not answering?
389
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:43,189
Hello, you've reached
390
00:17:43,291 --> 00:17:44,531
Pump and Dump Crypto Advisors.
391
00:17:44,626 --> 00:17:46,409
Let us know how we can help you
fuck people over.
392
00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:48,618
Just leave a message.
393
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,025
Dude, what is going on?
394
00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:52,815
Our token's value totally peaked
and it's starting to go down.
395
00:17:52,898 --> 00:17:54,415
Whatever approval you have to
get at the White House,
396
00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:55,920
we need it now!
397
00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:56,955
God damn it!
398
00:17:59,176 --> 00:18:02,237
I don't know, Kenny, OK?
Shut up already!
399
00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:09,137
Oh, Jesus,
this is a little creepy.
400
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,800
Are we having dinner?
I'm allergic to dairy.
401
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:14,938
Everyone, please put your
hands on the table.
402
00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:23,098
I am speaking to the entity
in this house.
403
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,760
Is this a good time
to talk turkey?
404
00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:27,263
I just need to go over
some quick business.
405
00:18:27,365 --> 00:18:29,989
We know you are sad.
406
00:18:30,072 --> 00:18:32,524
We know you are... lonely.
407
00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:36,908
But we must ask you
to leave our president alone.
408
00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:42,282
Oh, my God,
this is really scary.
409
00:18:42,384 --> 00:18:44,701
The President
is a great man,
410
00:18:44,784 --> 00:18:48,511
and he does not deserve
to be tormented like this.
411
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:50,138
Pam! Pam!
412
00:18:50,221 --> 00:18:52,207
Oh! Oh.
413
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,456
Restless spirit,
414
00:18:54,558 --> 00:18:57,653
we only wish to communicate!
415
00:19:00,237 --> 00:19:02,605
Holy shit!
She's right fucking there!
416
00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:03,971
What is that?
417
00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:07,826
Deception!
418
00:19:07,909 --> 00:19:10,493
Deception!
419
00:19:10,576 --> 00:19:12,807
Boss, maybe we should stop this.
420
00:19:12,909 --> 00:19:15,032
No! I wanna hear
what it has to say.
421
00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:19,485
Epstein!
422
00:19:19,587 --> 00:19:21,168
Uh, no, no.
You're right. Let's stop this.
423
00:19:21,251 --> 00:19:22,908
You!
424
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,794
What? You?
425
00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:27,794
What did he do?
426
00:19:27,896 --> 00:19:30,411
He lies!
427
00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:32,753
Oh, you fucking bitch!
428
00:19:32,836 --> 00:19:35,133
Corruption!
429
00:19:35,235 --> 00:19:36,586
She's not possessed!
430
00:19:36,669 --> 00:19:39,760
Pam Bondi's trying to get
my fucking job!
431
00:19:41,912 --> 00:19:43,190
Oh, I can't do this!
432
00:19:43,273 --> 00:19:44,339
Lies!
433
00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:47,847
I gotta get out of here!
434
00:19:49,184 --> 00:19:50,769
Oh, God!
435
00:19:50,852 --> 00:19:52,574
Oh!
436
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:56,441
OK! OK! It's all true!
437
00:19:56,524 --> 00:19:59,020
We've been dealing in deception
and lies!
438
00:19:59,122 --> 00:20:01,696
We've all been getting
filthy rich off of crypto!
439
00:20:01,798 --> 00:20:02,544
Oh, Jesus.
440
00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:04,530
We've lied and we've cheated.
441
00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:06,250
Crypto's just a giant money
laundering scheme
442
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,285
for the rich to get richer.
443
00:20:07,368 --> 00:20:09,053
Please don't haunt us anymore!
444
00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,253
We're sorry.
445
00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:13,292
We're all very sorry!
446
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:16,712
This is a Fox News!
447
00:20:16,814 --> 00:20:19,515
Agh! America!
448
00:20:19,617 --> 00:20:22,764
A massive crypto fraud has
been exposed at the White House,
449
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,406
and the perpetrator
has been indicted.
450
00:20:25,489 --> 00:20:27,968
A ghostly wrath that was
unleashed in the East Wing
451
00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:30,809
exposed the traitor
at a séance last night.
452
00:20:30,892 --> 00:20:34,779
The traitor is now behind bars
and serving 10 years for fraud.
453
00:20:34,862 --> 00:20:38,531
Charges, of course, were once
again filed by Pam Bondi,
454
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:41,785
who said, "We will continue
to indict anyone
455
00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:45,254
who says bad stuff
about our amazing president."
456
00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:51,831
I'm sorry, Kyle.
I should have listened to you.
457
00:20:54,483 --> 00:20:56,939
I guess there just no really
going back
458
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,942
to the way things used to be.
459
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,505
Things will get back, Stan.
460
00:21:01,588 --> 00:21:02,671
I know it's hard to see
right now,
461
00:21:02,754 --> 00:21:05,677
but things will go back
to normal.
462
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,145
And in the meantime,
we just have to make the most
463
00:21:08,228 --> 00:21:09,845
of where we are.
464
00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:16,988
All right, seniors,
just move with the rhythm now.
465
00:21:18,438 --> 00:21:21,605
♪ If I didn't care ♪
466
00:21:21,707 --> 00:21:24,362
Good! Good, seniors.
Nice!
467
00:21:24,445 --> 00:21:29,116
♪ More than words can say ♪
468
00:21:29,218 --> 00:21:34,254
♪ If I didn't care ♪
469
00:21:34,356 --> 00:21:39,478
♪ Would I feel this way? ♪
470
00:21:39,561 --> 00:21:45,820
♪ If this isn't love, then why ♪
32355
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