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♪ Bah-hoo-yeah
Bah-hoo-yeah
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Bah-hoo-yeah
Bah-hoo-yeah. ♪
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Welcome back from the
dead, Chief Lazarus!
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I only got one
thing on my mind.
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Revenge!
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What exactly are you here
for?
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We need $40 million.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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So we've shot a great deal of
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the movie, and we're gonna show
it to you.
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We just need a little
money to finish it.
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Yeah, see, we had a little bit of
a falling out with our financier.
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He's also playing Chief Lazarus.
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Just, we had some creative
differences with him, you know,
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which is why we're coming to
you, but, look, that's neither
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here nor there.
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Don't worry about that.
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The guy wanted to
shoot a full penetration sex
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scene and show it.
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But, to be fair, I don't have a
problem, as much, with the act
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itself as I do with the
man who's performing it.
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Don't get into that.
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It's, like, more specific
than she needs to...
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Let her know. I think she...
Look, I just, I think that no
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one wants to see Frank smashing
genitalia with a woman, but if
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it were me doing it, you
know, imagine that.
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Wouldn't that be nice?
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Imagine all the positions
that I could get into.
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You know, reverse pile driver,
seated scissors, wheelbarrow,
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reverse cowgirl.
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I know all the positions.
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Whatever you like.
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He can do 'em all.
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I can do 'em all, yeah.
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He can do 'em all.
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So imagine that.
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Do you see the difference?
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We don't finance movies here.
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Let's show her
more of the movie.
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Get into the story a little bit.
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Okay, that's exactly right.
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Keep watching, and then see the
big picture, know that there
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are budgetary and time limitations
and ignore them, please.
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Yeah.
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- In your face, sucker.- ♪
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Oh, shit!
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Riggs, what the hell are you
doing here?
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Our relationship is strained.
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Thought I'd give you some
pointers on your jump shot.
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Noticed you weren't squaring up
on the basket.
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Schooling a black man on
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basketball.
You must be crazy.
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Crazy enough to want to know why
you never RSVP'd to my wedding.
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Gee, do I want to see my
ex-special forces ex-partner
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marry my baby girl daughter?
Thanks.
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I respectfully say, "No."
I tell you what, Sarge.
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Let's play a quick game of
one-on-one.
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You score on me, you don't have
to come to the wedding.
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If I score on you, I don't
have to come to the wedding?
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That's right.
So all I do is score once,
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and then I don't come to the
wedding?
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Yes. Well, this is gonna be...
a slam dunk! ♪
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Break a leg.
Hell, break both of 'em.
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Heavenly Father, we thank you
for your glories.
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We also thank Martin for his
lovely sax solo in lieu of vows.
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- Rianne will now recite hers.
- My
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love, when I look deep in your
eyes, I find my own destiny.
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I find that I want to love you
for the rest of my days, and I
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will.
I will spend every day of my
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life trying to make you the
happiest man in the whole world.
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That was lovely.
If anybody has any objection to
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this union, you speak now, or
forever hold your peace.
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I object.
What?!
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I need to do something
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first... get your father's
blessing.
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I came here for my daughter,
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not you.
I love her, Rog.
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Yeah.
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I know you do, pal.♪
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No!
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No!
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I love weddings.They always such a blast!
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Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!Got to get out of here!
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Got to get out of here!
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Oh! Oh, let me out of here!Let me out of here! Oh!
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Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
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Um... I don't get why you'remaking this.
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Oh, I mean...Oh...
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God, the bank didn't get iteither.
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Why make anything, you know?For the money, for the glory,
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for the fame.Absolutely.
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All... the whole thing.Yeah, and-and clearly the
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movie's pretty kick-ass right upuntil we get to the special
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effects snafu.Our ex-backer liked to cut
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corners, but we feel like, withyour technical expertise, being
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from a dot-com company and all,and your money, we could really
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make a kick-ass movie.Yeah, now, the next scene is,
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um, the next scene is bad.The next scene is a little bit
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of a disaster.It's got some problems, too,
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but then, once we get past that,it's pretty good, but let me set
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this up for you so you're nottotally confused.
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Somebody released some kind of abiting bug, the likes of which
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I've never contended with.Frank and I got them from
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China, and they just went crazyin the bar and bit us up like...
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What do you mean you "gotthem from China"?
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You ordered them?Don't worry about where we
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got them or why we were gettingthem.
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Oh, my God, Jesus Christ.We just released them, there
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was an issue...All right, so you're gonna
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enjoy this part.Go ahead and push play.
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Yeah, yeah, keep it going.
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Hey, Chief, I'd like to tradein...
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...these flowers for a badge.
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Well, I just happen to havethat gun.
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Welcome back to the force,Riggs.
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Murtaugh.Murtaugh!
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It's great that you're a copagain, Rog.
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We'll n-need it.Well, I had to come back
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because they killed my baby girlas you was getting married to
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her.Yeah.
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Looks like I'm not the only copwith a death wish now.
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Ha!Chief, I think I found some
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clues.What the hell does those
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things have to do with ChiefLazarus?
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Well, I've got a hunch.Chief, I've got a hunch.
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See, feathers were usually usedin Indian resurrection burials,
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which could only mean one thing.Damn!
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Well...That Lazarus is back from the
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dead.Damn!
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You think?
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So he's probably planning an
elaborate rain dance to drench
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L.A. so bad that it ends up in
the ocean.
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Making his Indian reservation
the only thing left standing and
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very valuable beachfront
property.
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00:08:43,099 --> 00:08:45,499
That's could be the only answer.
Yeah.
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Oh, oh. I'm just gonna fast-forward
for a minute. Uh, but this...
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Yeah, this is important...
That-that-that's okay, I'll,
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uh, I'll play it here.
Beachfront property on his
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Indian reservation.
No, you're still going on
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about the whole...
No, just keep going.
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Yeah... yeah, yeah.
Well, you got to explain
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every aspect of the movie.
That's crazy.
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00:08:59,515 --> 00:09:01,615
Well, that's because when you
go to the movies, you know, you
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00:09:01,617 --> 00:09:03,851
can't follow what's going on.
No, you can't follow what's
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00:09:03,853 --> 00:09:05,519
going on.
Yeah, yes, you can.
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00:09:05,521 --> 00:09:07,454
No, no, you're like, "Who's
that guy?
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00:09:07,456 --> 00:09:09,356
Is that the good guy, is that
the bad guy?"
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Everybody knows!
I'm sorry, guys, um, but
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maybe it would help if I saw the
original Mel Gibson version
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first. W-What do you mean that
you've not seen... Wha...? How...?
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00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,833
You've never seen...
Lethal Weapon?
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Lethal Weapon?No, I mean, I've heard of it.
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00:09:21,971 --> 00:09:24,038
I think what's happening hereis the fact that you're a woman,
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and our demographic skews male.Well, um...
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It does... we are a male-driven, uh, you know...
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We are testosterone-driven.We're a male-driven entity.
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I-I got, I got that.Oh, oh, oh, the next scene.
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Oh, yeah, yeah, right, right,right, right, right, right.
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Oh, the next scene.That's right, there's stuff
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for the... the ladies, I guess.Oh, for the ladies.
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Yeah, we shot this for theladies.
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This is all for the ladies.
You're gonna love this.
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Well... yeah.
You're gonna dive right in,
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right here.
("Playing with the Boys" by
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Kenny Loggins playing) ♪ I'd say
it was The right time To walk away
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♪ When dreamin' takes you
Nowhere
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It's time to play
♪ Bodies workin' overtime
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Your money don't matter... ♪
Yeah...!
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♪ Time keeps ticking
When someone's on my mind ♪
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♪ Playing
Playing with the boys
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I'm staying
Playing with the boys... ♪
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Yeah.
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All right. All right, blokes,
let's hit the showers, huh? Yeah.
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00:10:32,274 --> 00:10:34,608
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
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I don't know about you, mate,
but I'm sore.
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I'm really sore.
I really needed this.
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Oh, I needed it, too, mate.
All right, buddy.
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Now that we know what Lazarus'
plan is, what are we gonna do?
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We got to track him down and
fight him, you know?
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Sure do.
We got to track him down and
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punch him.
We're gonna track him down
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and we're gonna...
We're gonna go to the strip
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club, which I'm excited to do.
I love strip clubs.
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Oh, baby, I love me a good
strip club.
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We're gonna...
I mean, this is crazy, right?
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Wha...?
I miss her, Riggs.
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Nothing's ever gonna make me
forget her.
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I know, buddy.
Lazarus has taken everything
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from us, but we're gonna take
what he loves most: his life.
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00:11:16,819 --> 00:11:19,386
Yeah?
Well, we'd better do it right
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this time, baby.
We ain't getting any younger.
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That's for sure.
I'm starting to think even I'm
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getting too old for this shit.Say what?
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00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:30,998
Oh...That's what you always say.
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00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,666
I know.I brought it back.
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That's your...Yeah, I got that.
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00:11:34,503 --> 00:11:37,571
Whoa, shit.
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00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,573
Come here, you rascal.Whoa!
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You want to wrestle, you...You want to go, old man?
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You young, but you ain't thatstrong, baby.
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You want to go, old man?You want to go, old man?
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00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:48,782
You too young for this...Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is
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00:11:48,784 --> 00:11:51,018
this?What are you showing me here?
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00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:53,120
We're showing you atestosterone-driven, male-
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skewing action melodrama.Yeah, you're gonna love this
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00:11:55,124 --> 00:11:57,191
stuff.And, by the way, as a hedge
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fund manager, you're used tothis kind of high-stakes,
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adrenaline-pumping action, sothis should be perfect for you.
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00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:03,130
I'm a little confused.Oh, is it the character-
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switching?'Cause, just move past that, all
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00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:07,100
right?Trust me, our audience has come
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00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,802
to expect that kind of thingfrom us.
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00:12:08,804 --> 00:12:10,604
No, no, no, I'm confusedabout what you want.
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Uh, you need money to fund yourgay porno movie?
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00:12:12,508 --> 00:12:14,174
Oh, goddamn it, Mac.Gay porno movie?
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00:12:14,176 --> 00:12:15,843
What are you talking about?See? See!
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00:12:15,845 --> 00:12:18,145
You even watching the movie?Yes, in a lot of ways this is a
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00:12:18,147 --> 00:12:19,813
love story between two men.No, it isn't.
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00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,715
Okay, yes, in a... most ways.
No, it isn't.
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00:12:21,717 --> 00:12:23,484
All right, but this is about
as masculine as it gets.
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It's not, it's not, I mean...
No, it isn't, no, it isn't.
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00:12:25,621 --> 00:12:27,521
You had a butt-double.
Oh, of course I had a butt-
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double.
You think I'm gonna show my butt
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on camera, Charlie?
Oh, my God, I was
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00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:33,293
uncomfortable filming the scene.
It's not up to the par of
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Murtaugh, okay?
If you play the movie, you'll
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00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,964
see...
It gets way straighter, I
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00:12:36,966 --> 00:12:38,966
promise.
Push play, you're gonna love
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00:12:38,968 --> 00:12:40,968
this next part.
We'll cut that stuff out.
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See, nobody wants that...
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I sure am glad we came to
this strip club, Riggs.
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I do like looking at
beautiful naked women.
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That's because we're not gay.
Right, right.
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Up next is Lady Starship.
She's gonna blow you away with
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00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,090
her celestial body.
Lady Starship...
236
00:13:03,092 --> 00:13:08,095
I like the sound of that.♪
237
00:13:08,097 --> 00:13:13,267
Man, what the hell!
Oh, what the f... ♪
238
00:13:13,269 --> 00:13:22,743
That's more like it.
239
00:13:22,745 --> 00:13:24,611
Yeah. You like that?
I do, yeah.
240
00:13:24,613 --> 00:13:27,481
What are you looking at, man?
Shit.
241
00:13:28,922 --> 00:13:30,283
Frank, will you pay
attention, man?
242
00:13:30,325 --> 00:13:31,925
I mean, come on, we've been all
over town.
243
00:13:31,927 --> 00:13:34,160
We went to a hedge fund guy, a
dot-com girl, we went to banks.
244
00:13:34,162 --> 00:13:36,363
No one's gonna fund this thing.
No, we need to finish the
245
00:13:36,365 --> 00:13:38,365
movie, Frank.
All right, I'll give you the
246
00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:41,067
money.
But we do the movie my way.
247
00:13:41,069 --> 00:13:44,270
I want... what I want.
And you know what I want.
248
00:13:44,272 --> 00:13:46,072
That's not cool, man.
We can make it work, we'll
249
00:13:46,074 --> 00:13:47,574
just have to add some
exposition... a whole scene
250
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,075
of it.
What needs to be explained?
251
00:13:49,077 --> 00:13:50,710
It's gonna be perfectly clear!
252
00:13:50,712 --> 00:13:52,712
It's gonna be way too clear
what's happening.
253
00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:54,347
Frank, it's gonna ruin the
movie, Frank!
254
00:13:54,349 --> 00:13:56,683
It's gonna be so confusing...
It's not gonna be... it's not
255
00:13:56,685 --> 00:14:00,186
gonna be confusing.
We got a deal or what?
256
00:14:05,193 --> 00:14:08,928
Ah! Damn.
Damn! They found us!
257
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:11,765
We got Lazarus trapped in his
258
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:14,634
own umbrella factory.
Yeah. He gonna do a rain dance
259
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:17,103
and then make some money on some
umbrellas, man.
260
00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:19,305
He a dirty bitch.
261
00:14:19,307 --> 00:14:22,742
Come on, let's go get him.
262
00:14:22,744 --> 00:14:25,412
I'm gonna jump over this!
263
00:14:25,414 --> 00:14:28,381
Get over it!
I got you, Riggs! Hurry up!
264
00:14:30,152 --> 00:14:32,152
Oh, I'm getting too old for
265
00:14:32,154 --> 00:14:33,787
this shit.
Come on, man!
266
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:38,258
We're pinned down, Rog.
267
00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:41,895
This could be it, good buddy.
This could be the end.
268
00:14:41,897 --> 00:14:45,265
Okay, Rog, if this is the
end, we should be the ones to
269
00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:48,735
end it.
You know what? I got this.
270
00:15:00,615 --> 00:15:05,018
I got that weird Danish twin.
271
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:08,455
Oh, shit!
272
00:15:08,457 --> 00:15:13,993
Aw, damn! He got away.
273
00:15:13,995 --> 00:15:17,363
Oh, hey, you know what?
We got to also remember to get
274
00:15:17,365 --> 00:15:20,333
that shaman priestess from the
beginning.
275
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:23,169
We don't want her bringing him
back from the dead...
276
00:15:23,171 --> 00:15:27,540
again.
That's a good point.
277
00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:29,542
Where's Mac?
He's in the bathroom.
278
00:15:29,544 --> 00:15:31,544
Well, that's not gonna work.
I mean, we can't...
279
00:15:31,546 --> 00:15:33,980
It's fine, just go, let's go.
He's in the bathroom.
280
00:15:33,982 --> 00:15:36,149
He's in the bathroom.
Charlie, it's not... we
281
00:15:36,151 --> 00:15:41,321
can't... I mean, it's...
282
00:15:44,493 --> 00:15:46,793
Oh, shit!
Rog, I'm out of bullets!
283
00:15:46,795 --> 00:15:51,231
You are? Oh, I'm out of
bullets, too, Riggs. Oh, no!
284
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:55,902
Time to kiss L.A. good-bye,
suckers!
285
00:15:55,904 --> 00:16:02,308
'Cause tonight the forecast
calls for rain!
286
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,711
Riggs, there's a basketball
287
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,713
right there.
You should use it.
288
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:10,183
I know.
Wha... Oh!
289
00:16:10,185 --> 00:16:13,152
Oh, shit, Rog.
If you make this shot, you will
290
00:16:13,154 --> 00:16:15,421
have redeemed yourself with the
item that you failed with in the
291
00:16:15,423 --> 00:16:17,857
beginning.
That is right.
292
00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:22,095
I can do it, Riggs.
Ho-ho-ho-ho.
293
00:16:22,097 --> 00:16:24,464
In your face, sucker.
294
00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:41,614
Yeah, buddy, you did it!
You did exactly what you said
295
00:16:41,616 --> 00:16:43,716
you were gonna do, and now he's
dead.
296
00:16:43,718 --> 00:16:45,919
And now we have to kill that
shaman woman so that she doesn't
297
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,454
come back and reanimate him
again.
298
00:16:48,456 --> 00:16:52,091
Wait.
I got a better idea first.
299
00:16:52,093 --> 00:16:54,193
What is it?
Let me just show you, man,
300
00:16:54,195 --> 00:16:56,696
will you?
We don't have to say everything,
301
00:16:56,698 --> 00:17:00,333
man. Shit.♪
302
00:17:00,335 --> 00:17:07,907
You know you always have my
blessin', partner.
303
00:17:07,909 --> 00:17:12,478
That's my partner right there.
304
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,481
Yeah.
And that's a callback.
305
00:17:15,483 --> 00:17:17,750
From the beginning... so it's
come full circle.
306
00:17:17,752 --> 00:17:19,819
We know.
And then we brought you back
307
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:22,789
from the dead.
Well, the shaman did it.
308
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:26,125
And then we killed her.
Because we didn't want her to
309
00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:29,295
bring back Lazarus.
Okay. We get it.
310
00:17:29,297 --> 00:17:32,966
Go ahead.
Kiss her.
311
00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:37,604
Kiss her.
Kiss her, man.
312
00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:43,242
Yeah.
Come on, man.
313
00:18:06,734 --> 00:18:11,304
One last thing, in case I die.
314
00:18:11,306 --> 00:18:26,719
Oh, my God! Oh!
315
00:18:26,721 --> 00:18:32,058
S-So again, this is what we
316
00:18:32,060 --> 00:18:35,188
were trying to avoid by coming
to you in the first place.
317
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:46,456
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
26772
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