Original subtitles

[upbeat rock music]

[dramatic music]

- Previously on "The Tournament of All Stars"...

Bracket 2 competed in the first

of their three episodes.

- Do you think you have an advantage over the girls

that haven't been here?

- Of course she does.

- You're big competition.

- The girls see me as big competition.

Y'all right.

But at the same time, put the eyes on another ho.

- There's three Latinas, you, me, and Crystal.

- Do you think there's a possible Tres Leches alliance?

- Okay.

- My strategy is coming together, honey.

- If there's only two girls moving forward,

it's going to be a little bit tricky.

- Punani Pekpek.

- Punani Pekpek alliance? - Oh, my gosh. [laughs]

- I'm playing 3D chess.

- Aura Mayari, bitch, you can sing.

- Oh, thanks!

- You're intoxicating to watch.

- Crystal Methyd.

- You blew me away.

- It was wonderful to see.

- Aura Mayari and Crystal Methyd,

condragulations.

You're the top two All Stars of the week,

and you've each earned two points.

Ladies, this is your chance to impress me,

win $10,000, and earn a coveted extra point.

Crystal Methyd, condragulations.

You're a winner, baby.

- Yes!

- You've earned an extra point.

The bottom four queens will each receive one point.

But you must give it away to the All Star

you believe is the Most Valuable Queen of the week.

Choose wisely, because at the end of this bracket,

the two queens with the most points

will move on to the semifinals.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Whoo! [laughs]

Ah! She's a winner, baby!

- I wanted to disco so bad!

- I know.

- I was ready to give the Salina, bitch.

- And the best part about it is, the girls are mad.

Us hos, we really killed that challenge,

and I'm so excited that we don't have to worry

about passing out MVQ points.

Uh! That feels so sickening.

- Congratulations, both of y'all.

- Congrats, congrats, congrats. - Thank you.

Thank you, guys.

The scoreboard leader.

And I have three EsTitties.

[laughter]

- I didn't realize you had a third leg.

I should have brought out my third leg.

- Oh. [laughter]

- It makes sense that y'all won.

You know, we struggled with the singing

over here a little bit with our group,

although we pulled through.

- Yes, I'm not the greatest singer,

but I still gave a great performance,

and I'm proud of it.

- I thought I was going to hear Silky's name

up there for some reason.

- I just wanted to--

I--I don't know.

I-I-I--

I am fighting the demons on the inside,

and I'm trying to, like, literally keep it together.

Because this is my fourth time on this show.

This is all y'alls second time.

I don't want the strategy to come in so much,

you know, that y'all are, like, holding it against me.

Because just like y'all worked to be here,

I worked equally as hard.

That's really what I'm feeling right now.

I know these hos already said

that they see me as big competition.

And now these girls can knock me off my game.

Because in reality, if you have zero points week one,

you ain't moving forward, baby.

So I better at least get one point.

I ain't too proud to beg, and that's all I'm gonna say.

If you see it and you like it, if I get one point,

two points, three points, four.

I don't know what y'all gonna do, but I still that ho.

All right?

- I think I've made up my mind.

April is my duet partner,

and she's a part of my Tres Leches alliance.

So I hope in my heart that I'll have her point.

- Who's going first, ladies? - ♪ Bum, bum, bum ♪

- I'll go first.

- Oye? - Yeah.

I'll give this to Salina, just because we really bonded.

You didn't scream at me for my amazing voice.

So thank you, sister.

- Thank you, sister.

- Gracias, mi amor.

I wanted to give my point to Salina

because we work together, and I was grateful for her.

It wasn't really because of the alliance,

but it ended up being kind of in the alliance.

So I guess I am in an alliance?

But I'm not?

So, in this moment, sure.

Let's just play the game.

- I think I'm going to stay true to LA

and my scene partner,

because without you, at the end of the day,

I could not have done as good as I did.

And, yes, I did pick up a lot of the slack, bitch.

So I feel like, thank you for that.

- Gracias, mi amor. - Te quiero mucho.

- Igual, bebé. - Damn.

- Me and Salina talked about the Pekpek alliance.

But she gave her point to April,

and I don't blame her, because I was in the top two.

But I'm going to keep my eyes on her.

- I will be giving my point...

♪ ♪

To Ornacia.

[laughter]

- Which one?

You brought nine.

- Exactly.

Ms. Silky, because, child, you are a relentless lady,

and I love everything that you do,

and I want to see you keep moving forward.

- Thank you.

Well, Vivacious, what you did and produced had great energy,

and that deserves to be rewarded.

- Thank you so, so very much.

Truly appreciate it.

Okay.

Thank you, Silky.

Thanks for looking out.

- Let's get out of here!

- Yes, queens! - Yes.

- Week one is now in the books.

- The wig is on! The wig is on!

The wig is on! - Not in the back.

- Everyone stuck to their partner in this MVQ ceremony.

- Bah! Bah!

- But don't let that fool you.

This competition is every queen for herself,

and it's all about how you play the social game.

I have an alliance.

- You do? - Yes.

- Don't--don't tell.

- And I only have one rule.

It could be with you, it could be with you.

- Ooh, a secret alliance. - It could be with you.

When you're good to Mother, Mother will be good to you.

- She's struggling.

- Fuck you, bitch. - Hey.

- I heard you say, watch her struggle to get up.

- I didn't say--

- Girl, but guess what?

It was really in my mind, 'cause I am struggling.

[laughter]

- ♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

The winner of "RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars"

will snatch an official makeup collaboration

with Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics,

a coveted spot in the "Drag Race" Hall of Fame,

and a cash prize of $200,000.

With our extra special guest judge Gina Gershon.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best drag queen win ♪

♪ Best drag queen win ♪

[upbeat music]

- Yay! [cheering]

♪ ♪

- All right, ladies. - Good morning.

Good morning.

- Oh, look at Silk. Of course.

- You better work.

- Baby, it's a new week.

Week one, I wasn't in the top.

Week two will be the rebuild,

because I'm only one point behind Aura.

I know I can make that up.

Baby, I'm feeling so great, I done put on my good hair.

[laughs]

- What's the inspo today, bitch?

- You know what the inspo was today?

- What?

- To be that bitch.

- No, bitch.

This is crazy.

It looks like a piñata.

[record scratches]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- The shade will reveal itself.

- The shade will reveal itself. - What?

- April, I am so surprised by you.

- You know what's good about piñatas?

- What? - They filled with the goodies.

- Ooh. [laughter]

[siren wails] - Ah!

- Ooh, girl.

- She done already done had herses.

Those who can, do.

Those who can't, just watch a YouTube video.

- Ooh.

- Hello, hello, hello.

[all cheering]

- Come on, blazer.

- Legs for days.

- Good morning, All Stars.

all: Good morning.

- You know, one good idea could change the world.

So for this week's Maxi Challenge,

I want you to write, produce, and perform

your very own how-to videos.

- All right. - Okay. Okay.

- Now, as All Stars, you need to use

your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent

to teach the children on a subject of your choice.

But remember to make it fun and informative,

and most importantly, keep it short and sweet.

- That's the hard part for me.

- The sweetness?

- Because I know some of y'all are gonna

want to go on and on and on.

But trust and believe,

ain't nobody got time for that, Silky.

[laughter]

- They already clocking you, girl.

- Girl!

Mama Ru called me out,

so I have to make her proud.

Ah!

- All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

- All right. - Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.

- Here we go. Time to work.

- Yes.

- Are you excited?

- I love this kind of challenge.

Hell yeah.

For this week's Maxi Challenge,

we have to write, produce, and perform

how-to instructional videos.

- Okay. Let's start writing.

- I'm feeling good. Okay, yeah.

We got to get this together. - Let's figure this out.

- Baby, this challenge is what I do.

I love to write.

I have so many screenplays I'm working on.

I write storyboards all the time.

I produce my own content.

So this is in my blood.

- We only have 30 minutes to shoot, and we're directing,

and this is stressful.

How many pages are these?

Oh, my God.

This challenge, I think, is going to be a challenge.

- What are you doing? - Okay.

So I am obsessed with zombies.

I lay in bed and think about zombies

so I can dream about zombies.

- Why, bitch? That's weird!

- I feel like the main key here is to make RuPaul laugh.

- You're going to teach us how to escape a zombie apocalypse?

- Not escape it, but survive it.

- That's wild.

- I'm not a natural comedian, as you all know.

I got eliminated in my season

from doing a comedy challenge.

- "Annie Hall" is gold.

- You didn't pop for me.

- So I will be pushing myself, because I'm only one point

ahead of most of these girls,

and I don't feel really secure.

[upbeat music]

- Okay. So, April.

- Dime, mi amor.

- Last week, Mama Chula, you wanted to sing

and you didn't know how.

So what are you going to do this week

that you actually know how to do?

- Mira, there's not a lot of things that I know how to do.

So I don't know. It's got me thinking.

Maybe--I do like to eat, and, like, maybe do something

like a Puerto Rican dish.

But I cannot cook. - Wait a minute.

You can't cook. You can't sing.

April. Okay.

- I can be good company.

- Then you might want to change this to,

how to be a good companion.

- [laughs] Yes.

I don't know how this how-to video is going to play out.

I typically don't talk a lot in drag.

Mira, I don't do a lot of teaching,

because I don't--that's why I don't want to have daughters.

Yuck.

- But April, I think you have so much to say.

So we gotta just dial in, focus.

I ain't reading you no more. I got to get my work done.

- Well, don't make it easy for me to read you.

Look at you.

You look like a fucking car wash right now.

[laughs]

- I literally just said we got to tone down the reading

so we can focus.

- I'm just describing your outfit.

- Okay.

So I'm gonna need that garlic again, honey.

- How much garlic is in her?

- Jamaicans always use garlic.

We put garlic on everything.

I don't think a vampire will ever try

to show up to a Jamaican town.

- Ever since I've been around you,

I can tell there's less vampires around me already.

- Vivacious, Vampire Slayer.

My how-to video is about how to jerk Jamaican jerk chicken.

Jerk chicken is a very flavorful dish.

It's like crack on chicken.

I'm looking forward to see what you're going to put over there.

- You know what?

I don't think I even fully know what's to come yet.

It's going to get crazy.

- Well, you know, with you,

I gotta watch out for you, Ms. Dark Horse.

Crystal Methyd, she don't talk, she just executes.

She won't tell you that she could beat you up

10 ways until Monday.

You just wake up on Monday and realize you got beat up.

That's why she's the dark horse.

We also have to make this funny.

- And I feel like that's going to be very easy to do

with jerking some chicken.

- Uh-huh.

- Do you jerk any other things?

- I'm a good Christian woman.

I would never.

- Me too. That's too vulgar.

- Never in front of the congregation.

Okay? - [laughs]

- I'm still kind of, like, eyeing the girls around,

as we should.

Silky's such a big personality.

- I am.

- We're talking about how great you'll do

for this challenge, sister.

- Oh. Oh. Thank you.

- Yes, I'm complimenting you.

- No, you know what? And I receive that.

But you know why I'm that hostile with it?

Because usually it's April.

But April is right next to me.

So I'm sorry to put that energy on you.

- You guys got something to work on.

I don't know what's going on over there.

April, I feel like Silky wants you.

- I think she's obsessed with me.

- How did I get paired with this bitch?

- Bitch, we're not a pair. - Let me tell you something.

- Oh, hold on.

So y'all are trying to make an alliance

over there or something? You said paired.

What's going on here? - No.

- No.

- Oh, you got an alliance, bitch?

- First of all, we're enemies. - That's what I'm saying.

You got an enemy alliance all of a sudden.

- No. No, no, no.

- Are you two trying to make an alliance?

- I'm just doing community service.

[laughter]

- I don't know what to expect with this bracket

when it comes to alliances and giving out the points.

So I need to see if I can solidify

my alliance with Salina.

Okay. So if I'm in the bottom four--

- Shh. Okay, hey, hey.

You have to be quiet

when you're strategizing an alliance.

- See, this is why you're here.

I'm not good at strategy.

And I hope that it works for me.

Because right now, I'm a little nervous

about my chances in today's challenge.

The Pekpek alliance. - I got you.

[giggles] - That's a shady laugh.

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- Silky, what are you doing?

- I'm going to decorate a cake.

- Oh, okay. Cool. - What are you doing, April?

- I'm doing tostones.

- I was also going to cook something.

- Wait.

Are we all doing food?

- This becoming a cooking class, bitch.

[quirky music]

- Face crack.

- Wait, can I ask a question? - Sure.

- When you wash your chicken, you don't use soap, right?

- What the--Uh-uh.

Definitely not eating nothing you cooking.

- Wash your chicken with vinegar.

- With vinegar?

- And lime.

- No, I don't even wash my chicken.

They said don't wash it, 'cause it will dry it out.

- Who told you that?

- The influencer I watch on TikTok.

- Wash yo chicken.

- You better wash your chicken.

- Maybe that's why I have IBS.

- You better wash your chicken, girl.

- Hello, Ladykins.

- Oh! [all cheering]

- Ah!

- Hey, Vivacious.

- Ooh.

- You're back, back, back in the competition.

- I am back, back, back again, honey.

- Does it feel like the next day after,

or does it feel very different from when you were here?

- Years later, honey. - Yeah.

What are you doing a how-to video on?

- Okay, so I'm doing a how-to video

on how to make Jamaican jerk chicken.

- Now, I got to spy on Michelle directing you

in the recording session a little bit.

- And no more faking it.

- Don't drop. Mother has arrived.

I want to feel it.

- It took her a while to get you to loosen up.

What's that about?

- I don't know.

You know, just trying to take it in and process.

- Well, let me just say this. Loosen up.

Have some fun. - I will.

- We not gonna hurt you.

- I know you won't.

I'm with family. - Yes.

- The judges said I was a little tight

and a little bit tense in last week's challenge.

And, you know, I'm part Klingon and quite stoic.

But you know what?

As an All Star player, it is my job

to always push myself as a queen.

As I says, ATME, adding to my entity.

Okay?

- Hey, April.

You're a daddy, aren't you?

- I'm a little daddy. Yeah.

- You turned into a little daddy.

- Yeah.

- What's your how-to video about?

- It's about making tostones.

- Okay. - Which is my favorite dish.

It comes from the plantains.

- Oh, those are good. - Oh.

- Does this challenge play to your strengths?

- In drag, I usually don't talk a lot.

Like, I feel comfortable in doing looks and doing

performances and getting my point of view

across visually more than anything.

But I don't have a doubt I can do a great job here.

I'm so fucking nervous, because this is not something

I typically do in drag.

- Well, I cannot wait to learn how to make tostones.

- Yes, you're going to love them.

But I'm heading headfirst into the challenge,

because I need some points to make it to the semifinals.

- Mabuhay.

- Hi, Aura. - Hi.

- What is your instructional how-to video going to be about?

- My idea is how to survive a zombie apocalypse in drag.

- Has drag saved you in your life?

- Absolutely.

Especially during the time when my father passed away.

And it was really tough.

I don't want to cry.

My dad had supported me since I was a kid.

Even though I always felt shame about myself,

he would open up the conversations about being gay.

You know, I love to dance and I love to sing,

and he pushed me to go out there in the streets.

He would take speakers and stereos out

and play it in the streets

so kids could watch me dance and sing.

So when he passed away, I just felt like I lost,

like, a big part of myself.

- Yeah. - But drag became my outlet.

I felt like I could kind of escape that reality

and go onstage and, you know, just live free.

- You carry him with you.

- I do. Yeah. Yeah. - You know that.

You carry him with you.

It's a great, great strength that you have,

to have had that support.

- I'm very lucky.

- So, now, are you on social media?

- Yeah, I am.

I do a lot of makeup tutorial.

- Are you funny in these videos?

- They're not really funny.

I'm not really a comedian.

- The key is what you said earlier,

is that there was shame when your father

would bring up being gay.

If you stop judging you...

- Yeah. - The funny will come out.

- Right.

- So, Crystal, currently you have the most points.

[laughs] - Yes, I do.

- Do you feel that you understand

how this competition works?

- I think so.

I think the last time I felt so overwhelmed,

especially being by queens that I felt were

just more experienced and prepared than I was.

- But, you know, when I think about you,

I remember that you did really well.

That's why I ask.

- Well, I didn't do really well the whole time.

It took a little bit to warm up.

So that's why winning this first challenge

has been very special.

- So what is your how-to video?

- I was going to make a banana split.

- Okay.

- I have concerns, because almost all of us

are doing food-related videos.

So I'm hoping that the girls aren't approaching it

in the same way that I am.

- Have you made a banana split before?

- I've made a banana split.

I am not a chef or a cook,

but this is ingredients you just add together.

- Okay.

- This is not your Martha Stewart cooking video.

This is something much more sick and twisted.

- Make it meme-able and memorable.

- Exactly.

These girls are going to be sharing it all over.

- [laughs] - It's going viral.

- Well, there's an ointment for that.

- I sure hope so. - [laughs]

Salina EsTitties, you've turned into a daddy too,

haven't you?

- Thank you.

- So what are you going to make a video about?

- I think I want to teach, you know,

how to keep your man from cheating on you--

- Ooh. - Is kind of my idea.

- Good luck, girl. A dog gonna hunt, honey.

Are you in a relationship?

- No. - With Christ?

- If he'd have me.

[laughter]

- So how does one keep their man at home?

- Intimidation. - Oh, intimidation.

- Yeah, rope, you know, a chainsaw perhaps.

- [laughs]

- You got to get creative these days.

- Now, okay, so you haven't won a Maxi Challenge.

What are you going to do to win?

- I think I'm going to take mine in a very,

like, cinematic realm.

- Yeah.

- The thing is, I'm a little extra.

I'm going to have some puppetry and characters.

I'm going to put my Esteven Espielberg hat on

and really give you something that these other girls

could never give you.

Right now I have one singular point,

and that does not feel good!

So I am being very ambitious with this.

But, listen, I'm only ambitious because I know I can do it.

- [laughs] Yes.

That's the move.

That's it. [laughs]

You know you are crazy.

- I am. - You certainly are.

What is your instructional how-to video going to be about?

- Mine is how to decorate a birthday cake

for your boyfriend that is dating you out of convenience.

- Okay.

- I'm doing this based on a true story.

- Oh. - This is the last guy I dated,

and I literally made him

a birthday cake for his birthday.

And on my birthday he got me absolutely nothing.

- And did you drop him?

- On my birthday.

- On your birthday, he came in empty-handed and you said,

you gots to go. - It's done.

- Okay. Yeah. I love it.

Now, listen, you are a special child.

You cook. You dance. You sing.

You do great makeup. You're funny.

You do it all.

Now, of course, the key is to condense all this Silkiness

in this how-to video.

- Y'all know it take me a long time to get it all out,

'cause I love talking!

You ain't gonna be disappointed.

- All right. Good.

- But RuPaul done told a bitch, don't be doing too much.

So this week, I got to show that I can hone in my brand

and execute it.

[upbeat music]

- I feel good. I look good.

Let's do it.

Let's walk and talk, baby.

Thank you.

Where's her chorizo?

- Y'all still see some titty, right?

- Okay, so this is going to be the birth of a cherry baby.

- Um, she's still nursing.

It's time to film our how-to videos.

- Stem first, definitely.

It's so exciting to be on set.

We get to work with the green screen,

do costume changes.

Yeah, so then just shake 'em up and down like that.

So kind of like this.

Great. Perfect.

You know. You've done this.

I think that I am going to be a fantastic director,

because I'm a woman that knows what she wants,

and I'm not going to settle for anything less.

I am one bossy banana.

Think about plate presentation, you know.

both: Mmm. Thanks, Crystal.

- Happier. More excited.

both: Mmm. Thanks, Crystal!

- That was the one!

And now, um, boys, step aside.

This is my moment.

- So just kind of go, uh, and whatever.

Be very slow. Don't run at me.

[laughs]

For the how-to video, I am in a zombie apocalypse.

I've watched all the zombie movies,

and I would be so proud to bring some comedy

to the zombie apocalypse universe.

Let me hit you three times and then fall.

- All right, cool. - Okay.

[both laugh]

Die!

Because, yeah. I'm obsessed.

[laugh echoes]

- This one's perfect. Thank you.

- Do we want to get a camera to come get this from this angle?

- We have a camera right above your head there.

- Oh, shit. All right.

- [laughs]

- Vivacious, can you do the sound

that you want them to make?

- Oh!

Mmm.

[laughter]

- I want to make RuPaul laugh with this video

and just show my personality.

So right now I'm trying to be quirky, funny, sexy.

Mm-mm-mm.

I haven't done this with nails. Fuck.

[screams]

Two of my nails fell off.

Oh, jeez.

- Who are you?

- I'm the real you, bitch.

- My how-to video is telling you

how to not be a dummy bitch when a man is using you.

Did you want to run it a couple of times, just for perfection.

Hopefully I get to inspire some of these other dumb girls

that just want to be in love too.

Oh, pool boy!

You are very handsome.

The pool boy is looking scrumdiddly-yum-yum.

Get up on that thing, baby.

The boys love to eat my cake from behind.

The gutter's gonna be squeaky clean tonight.

You one delusional bitch.

[laughs]

Girl, I'm all over this man.

This man is just like, mm-hmm. Whatever.

It's triggering because that's kind of how my boyfriend was.

[laughs]

I'm selling cake after this, you guys.

It's going to be $10 a slice.

- I want y'all to be licking your lips

and making, like, moaning sounds.

- Got you. - Bah, bah, bah.

- Chorizo.

- [vocalizing]

- Chorizo.

- Ready for my favorite ingredient?

- Ooh, chorizo.

[laughs]

- The more you dance, the better they taste.

- Honey, we are getting fully loose,

because what Mother Ru wants, Mother Ru gets.

Let go.

And--yes.

Mmm!

Yes.

All up in that chicken.

- Can I get a napkin?

- Let's get her in the chair with him in the room.

I feel so at home on set, baby.

This is what I live for.

And today, I have my puppet named Little Chalupe.

Where the fuck is her hole?

We don't have time, Little Chalupe.

Put it in.

Okay. There we go.

There's a green screen suit that I have to wear

so you don't see me so I can operate her.

And then she does the chorizo thing on the stove,

and then she feeds him the taco.

That's the last part.

- [moaning] [laughs]

- Listen, this is what you want from a director,

someone who's willing to get in there and do the dirty work

and get the job done.

Okay. Just--just be--

Okay. We're good.

Thank you. I'm sorry!

I am doing the most, but I hope it's going

to pay off in the end.

Let's go. Top two.

That's what I'm really feeling! [laughs]

[laughter]

- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

- Hello, hello.

- She want to be me so bad. - No, you want to be me so bad.

- Girl, you want to be me so bad.

- You know you saw the girl with the skirt

and that you want to have it as well.

- Girl. It's runway day.

April saw me and she was like, let me--let me go change.

- Don't even. You're such a liar.

- I said, girl.

The judges is going to praise me.

They're going to love everything that I did.

They're going to love the runway,

and they're gonna give me perfect critiques.

At least that's what's going on in my mind.

- How do you feel you did in your video?

- I think I did good.

Now, I won't lie.

There's one thing that Ru did say specifically to me.

She said, make sure that you make it tight,

and I cut a lot of stuff out from my script.

- How about you, Crystal?

How was your video?

- My video went well.

- Okay. - It's going to be wacky.

- I don't really know where I stand at this point,

like, in this challenge, just 'cause

we didn't see each other. - Mm-hmm.

- So you've always dreamt of the zombie thing.

Is the zombie thing smashed now?

Are you, like, good?

- I still want it to happen for real.

[laughs]

Wouldn't you? - No!

- Just for a month?

- No!

So it went well?

- I think so.

This is not my forte.

But I did what I could, and I turned it out.

- You got some good momentum already

with your points and your win.

- But, like, what's tough is, I already have this, right.

And then I feel like they're going to look at me

and like, okay, we're not going to give her any points.

So...

- Ugh. Okay.

- So if I'm not top two this week,

I have a lot of work to do here

to make sure that I can solidify

those MVQ points tonight.

Pekpek.

Right now, I have

my Pekpek alliance with Ms. Aura.

I have a potential Tres Leches with my LA Latina girls,

Crystal and April.

Right now we have two leches, you know, from two titties.

We have one more leche giving orifice,

and that name is Crystal.

I don't know what that means. But--

[laughs] You get what I was going with.

- What the hell?

Why is Salina whispering to other people?

I don't like that.

I want to trust her so badly,

because we do have a friendship.

But Salina is a big game player,

and I feel like they're cooking something up.

- I mean, I want to be a part of everything, but I'm scared.

- No, of course.

There's no commitment, but it's available.

- Alliances make me a little nervous,

but this Tres Leches alliance could really work

to my benefit.

Salina and April already have less points from me.

So if I can continue to rack up their points

as we go, a little point here, a little point there.

I would love to return to this.

- We have to see how everything unfolds.

- Yeah.

- Tres Leches is officially... an idea.

It's not established necessarily,

but it's in the works, okay?

We're milking the cow.

We're making the cake.

Is a Tres Leches going to come out of the oven or not?

Do you put tres leches in the oven?

We're letting it marinate. okay?

I have some girls in my pocket.

- I just hope that you guys remember

how nice I am to y'all.

- Why are you-- - I am.

- You know love you. - So please remember that.

- We remember you, honey.

- And I love you.

And I'm just so happy that you're here.

If Salina's going to play her own game,

I'm going to play my game.

The first week, we were just very close

and worked with our partners, and I feel like

I haven't really talked to you yet.

So... - Ooh.

Does she want to know me? No.

Does she want to know my points?

Yes.

Because she can't trust her own good Judy's.

Or as I should say, good Judas.

- I feel your vibe.

I feel your energy.

- Uh-huh.

- And I gravitate towards great energy.

- Keep talking. Tell me I'm pretty.

But I think it might be advantageous to me,

because I need them MVQ points.

♪ ♪

- Well, I want to say, like, even if I do win today,

I would still appreciate your point.

- Even if you do win?

- Even if I do win. - Uh-uh.

I'll give you a hug.

But if you win, you ain't getting more points, bitch.

Uh-uh.

- So if I lose, you gonna give me your points?

- Well, I don't know.

Let's see your video.

- Why are you such a hater?

[laughter]

[RuPaul's "Cover Girl"]

- ♪ Covergirl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Walk ♪

♪ Covergirl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe ♪

- Come on, Ms. Talent.

- Look at that platform.

- Welcome to the main stage of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

Tournament of All Stars.

Michelle Visage, in honor of our extra special guest judge,

what's your favorite line from the movie "Showgirls"?

- "I'm erect. Why aren't you erect?"

- [laughs]

Hey, who says I'm not?

- [laughs] Ding, ding, ding.

- Style superstar Carson Kressley.

Nice jacket. - Thanks. It's a "Versayce."

- [laughs]

And the gorgeous Gina Gershon.

Welcome to our show, girl.

- Ah. Thanks a lot, Ru.

- You know, you make me feel like a hooker.

- Well, you are a whore, darling.

You take the cash, you cash the check.

You show them what they want to see.

- [laughs]

- Yay!

- This week we challenged our All Stars to write,

produce, and perform their very own how-to videos.

And tonight on the runway, category is,

Barn This Way, a look inspired by life on the farm.

- I feel seen.

- All Stars, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

♪ Mother of the house ♪

Category is, Barn This Way.

Up first, April Carrión.

- Oh, hay, girl, hay.

- [laughs]

- This look is made out of hay.

Baby, she's a queen of la cienda.

- She gives me fever, hay fever.

[laughter]

- It's inspired by the sombrero called pava,

which the workers used to use in the fields in Puerto Rico.

These earrings are un amapola,

which is a typical flower of Puerto Rico.

And in one earring's el coquí, the little frog

that sings at night.

Coquí, coquí, coquí.

- Now that's what I call a hat on a hat on a hat.

- But does anyone still wear... - A hat on a hat on a hat?

[laughter]

- ♪ When I step on the runway ♪

Next, Aura Mayari.

- Who let the Aura out?

Who, who, who, who?

- Hoot, hoot.

- I am wearing a glamorous barn owl look, all white dress

with all the feathers on the chest, kind of, like,

protruding out of my shoulders.

And I also have this really beautiful owl headpiece.

- I know she's a barn owl, but I'm more familiar

with barn swallows.

[laughter]

- Barn owls, they're known to be silent killers.

They're very sly, and they're very territorial.

It's giving Aura. [laughs]

- Come up and pluck me sometime.

- [laughs]

♪ Mother of the house ♪

Up next, Crystal Methyd.

[laughter]

- Who ordered the chicken?

- I did.

- This look is poultry in motion.

It's so extra.

It's covered in sequin and feathers

trimmed with ostrich.

Yes, that's right, a chicken and ostrich.

- Old MacDonald had a huge cock.

- Okay! - Yes, he did.

- [laughs]

- It's crazy and a little bit scary.

Girl, there ain't no cage that can hold this chicken.

- This must be Colonel Sanders' side piece.

[laughter]

- Up next, Salina EsTitties.

- I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your dress in!

- [laughs]

- I'm giving, Salina went for a roll in the hay.

Hay!

This is a completely couture, hand-sewn garment.

Every single hay is hand-stitched.

The corset is hand-braided.

In my basket, I got four golden eggs.

But oh, I'm missing two more!

- Her other egg she's had frozen.

- I'm giving you a full cinematic story

on this runway, and I look amazing.

- Oh, it's like finding a needle in a gay-stack.

- I thought it was your IUD.

- ♪ Better step back when I step on the runway ♪

Up next, Silky Nutmeg Ganache.

- The legen-dairy...

- Oh, my God.

- Silky Nutmeg Ganache.

- I am Moo-donna.

I have never worn anything like this before.

But I'm really proud of the work

that I put into myself and my body.

The corset is corseting, and this cow got curves.

- She's wearing Jean-Paul Moo-tier.

- Oh, it's milking time. - Mm-hmm.

- And you know me. I always have my tricks.

- Ooh! - Oh!

- Oh, I hope that's skim. - Oh, yes.

- Everybody get a taste of this milk.

- Yum. - Oh.

- Wow. - Yummy.

- Bitch Silk got the good old milk.

Bitch Silk got that good old milk.

- It really is milking time, Ru.

- It really is.

♪ Mother of the house ♪

Up next, Vivacious.

- Now that's what I call a backhoe.

[laughter]

- My look is a tractor.

She chugs without the lugs.

I am giving green body realness in yellow highlights.

I'm giving you wheels on the side of my bodice,

and I am giving you a full look of a tractor,

from head to toe.

- Prepare to get plowed.

- Absolutely.

- And I'ma slowly strut.

Can't move that much. It's a tractor.

They never go fast, so neither should I.

- I think I can, I think I can.

[laughter]

♪ Mother of the house ♪

[laughs]

Welcome, queens.

Tonight, Tournament of All Stars rules

are in full effect.

I'll name the top two All Stars of the week,

and each will receive two points.

Then the top two will lip sync for their chance to win

$10,000 and one extra point.

Remember, at the end of this three-episode bracket,

the top two queens with the most points

will continue on to the semifinals.

Now it's time for the judges' critiques,

starting with April Carrión.

Let's take a look at your how-to video.

- Ah!

Do you ever just sit and wonder,

does anybody want my tostones?

[dramatic music]

Well, I'm going to show you how to make tostones

that everybody will want to eat.

Come on.

Step one, grab your plantain.

Make sure it's firm, thick, and uncut.

Step two, slice that daddy up.

Keep it girthy.

An inch works for this.

Ooh!

Step three, drop those chunks in the hot oil

and let it sizzle.

[speaking Spanish]

Step four, smash it like you mean it.

Grab a plate or your ex's emotional baggage.

That's fine as well.

Just smash those plantain babies down.

[grunting]

Consider this foreplay.

Step five, throw these baddies in the hot oil again.

They're going to get hotter, crispier, sluttier.

Just like you go from a regular season

to an All Stars.

Now take ketchup, mayo,

and smash fresh garlic... [speaking Spanish]

And mix it all together.

This is a classic dipping sauce.

Mmm.

And there you have it, baby.

Everybody will want a taste of your tostones.

Mmm-mmm. Yes, Papi.

This has been a taste of April.

[laughter]

- Listen, I was very, very caught up in your breastplate.

It's like next level.

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, yeah.

- And you knew it and you felt it.

I thought you did a really good job.

I think it was missing a little bit of comedy,

but I'm glad you had some in there.

It could have been funnier.

- Although, I have to say,

who doesn't love a great boob smash?

- I know.

- It gave me a whole new way to cook in the kitchen.

- I thought you had a really, really great, friendly tone

on camera as well, and it really

kind of draws the viewer in.

And then this look, this might be

one of my favorite all-time looks on "Drag Race."

- Thank you.

- I love this symphony of texture, burlap and seagrass

and all of the weaving, but also that hip piece.

This is a really interesting, fun architectural silhouette

that I could just look at for days.

- Yes. Yeah.

- I have to tell you, when you came out

and then when Salina came out, I was like, ooh!

I know those bitches were heated!

[laughter]

Heated!

But they are very different.

- Up next, Aura Mayari.

Let's take a look at your how-to video.

- Hey, queens.

This is Aura.

Are you okay?

Are you alive?

Because if you are, then keep watching this video

so I can show you how to survive

a zombie apocalypse in drag!

[exciting music]

Step one, choose the right outfit.

Mobility is key, but so is drama.

Oh!

So look hot and be drop-dead gorgeous.

Because even when the world is ending,

the look must not, honey.

Roar.

Don't have any weapons?

Then weaponize your favorite drag queen's

favorite drag moves.

Hit it!

- Walk that fucking duck, bitch.

Yes!

Yes, bitch!

- Whip it, girl! Whip it!

- Go get 'em, girl!

The RuPaul.

[laughter]

Roar.

And finally, if you can't beat them, girl, then be them.

I guess this is how I can go viral one last time.

[growls]

Please like, share, and comment,

and tap the follow button to see my next video,

how to... [growls]

In Tagalog.

Roar.

- [laughs]

- I'm not sure we're going to survive

on the queens' dance moves.

Most of us won't be able to do them.

But it was smart to do the Anetra, the Sasha.

- I thought it was a fun idea.

It wasn't an LOL a minute,

but you were having fun doing it,

and I think as the viewer, then we have fun watching it.

- And then this outfit.

I just kept thinking, oh, so the apocalypse is over

and now you've come back as a dove of peace.

I think--are you an owl?

- A barn owl.

- I think there's a little disconnect with the bottom,

you know, from the waist down.

I'm thinking maybe that could be great--

with to bring in some browns or something

a little bit more barn owl-y.

But everything else is stunning and exquisite.

All that feather work and the headpiece

and also the wings, really gorgeous.

- Thank you.

- Up next, Crystal Methyd.

Let's take a look at your video.

- Welcome to another episode of "Cookin' with Crystal."

Today we'll be learning how to make a banana split.

Peel your banana.

[laughter]

Place your naked 'nana in a bowl.

I am serving. [rim shot]

Next, add two scoops of ice cream.

I'm cold.

[sad trumpet]

Now drench her in hot fudge.

Yeah.

Get Ms. Nana nice and wet.

Get your cream ready and squirt generously.

Whoo!

Yeah!

I love your cream.

Ready for my favorite ingredient?

What is it?

Nuts!

Get those nuts in my face.

[quirky music]

Try not to get any of the nut in my mouth.

Yummy, yummy.

Wait!

Don't forget the cherry!

Aww!

I love babies.

Now that's what I call a banana split.

both: Mmm, thanks, Crystal.

- Join us next time where we'll be making pound cake.

[slaps]

[laughter]

- This reminded me of one thing that I love so much,

which was "Pee-wee's Playhouse."

- I have the exact same notes written down.

I had Pee-wee here, and I had simple.

- And really, Crystal, the simplicity

made it so easy to watch.

The nuts, just a picture of the nuts.

- Although, speaking of nuts, you're like,

"Don't get the nuts in my mouth."

Why not?

- I guess it's just a personal preference.

You know? - True.

Yes, maybe I just speak for myself.

- Yeah, it was very subversive and funny and really stupid.

It reminded me of a video I was a part of

35 years ago by Tom Rubnitz in New York

called "Pickle Surprise."

- I'm so glad you noticed because that was

actually one of my main inspirations,

along with Pee-wee.

- Ah. I'm here for that.

- And this look.

This is drag.

It's sequin.

It's rhinestones.

It's ridiculous.

It just is so smart, Crystal.

- Are you more of a breast or a leg girl?

- It depends on the mood.

[laughter]

- [laughs]

Next, Salina EsTitties.

Let's take a look at your video.

- Hola. I'm Salina.

Today-- - [groans]

- It's Little Chalupe.

Little Latin doll in drag, why are you crying?

- My man keeps cheating on me, fool.

- Well, that's amazing, 'cause I'm going

to teach my friends here how to keep your man

from cheating on you.

All you need is some rope, a frying pan,

or a chainsaw, a warm tortilla,

and the pendejo in question.

both: Mm-hmm.

- Step one.

- Now, intimacy is key.

So take that rope and let's get things es-spicy.

- Who's your Papi now?

- Help! - Hey!

- Step two.

- Don't let your man get loud with you.

A frying pan to the air works wonders.

- [laughs]

- But a chainsaw cuts straight to the point.

Good job, Little Chalupe.

- Step three.

- A man's appetite for some loving muffin

is never satisfied.

So it's crucial to grab his--

- Ooh, chorizo.

- Little Chalupe.

- Final step.

- Open up your warm tortilla.

- No! [laughter]

- Wrap it around his chorizo and make him eat it.

- [groaning]

- Here comes the fun part.

[rumbling]

[farts]

Ooh!

Pee-yew.

No one wants to sleep with that.

And that's how to keep your man from cheating.

- You can't cheat the doll.

- See you next Tuesday.

Say bye, Little Chalupe.

[children cheering]

[laughter]

- Well, I'm obsessed with Chalupe.

I love...

[in deep voice] That you gave him a voice like this.

[normally] I just think the idea

of a "how to keep your man" video is so cute.

- It was twisted, and that's kind of what

I think you love about drag.

So I enjoyed what you did.

- You know, I grew up with sitcoms,

so anytime you put a fart joke in there,

I am programmed to laugh.

I laughed several times.

It was very funny.

- This look, yes, we have two raffia straw-inspired looks.

But I will echo what Michelle said.

They are very different.

And yours is giving us you know, more of that

needle in the haystack vibe.

And I do love how that bodice is constructed

through the braided raffia.

- Really, really beautiful.

- Thank you so much.

- Up next, Reverend Doctor Silky Nutmeg Ganache.

Let's take a look at your video.

- Have you ever dated a fuckboy?

[refined music]

♪ ♪

Whoo!

Well, I'm going to teach you how to decorate

your boyfriend's birthday cake

that's only dating you out of convenience.

- Girl, tell the truth and shame the devil.

- Who are you?

- I'm the real you, your conscience

before you fell in love with that brokey.

Show us how you made that little cake with yo dumb ass.

- You'll start with his favorite cake, red velvet.

- Isn't that the pool boy's favorite?

- Yes, he cleaned the gutters this morning.

- Girl, you don't even have gutters.

- I do.

- I ain't mad at you.

- We have two layers of cake in hopes

that he'll show you a second layer of himself tonight.

- 'Cause he cheating on you with a bitch with a EBT card.

- Frost the whole cake.

Make sure that it is smooth, baby.

- 'Cause he ain't gonna want you if that cake lumpy

like your pants on season 11.

[laughter]

- Now we going to add that ganache drip.

- Make it drip, drip, drip like your pussy.

[laughter]

- Now you have a beautiful birthday cake

for your boyfriend.

- Cut yourself a piece of cake.

He probably going to stand you up again.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Don't crash out.

Call the pool boy.

- Oh, pool boy.

- And if you're like this dumb bitch

and need a little help dating, purchase my book.

"My Man, My Man, My Man: Ten Red Flags

to Let You Know That Your Man is Really a Fuckboy."

- The gutter's gonna be squeaky clean tonight.

- Period.

- Period. [laughter]

- First of all, the video starts off so strong.

Is your guy a fuckboy or not?

So funny.

I was laughing out loud.

- It started out crazy and spiraled

into something even crazier.

Little Silky was so funny.

It all just worked for me.

- This look I think is really fun.

I love the bustier creating a sexy udder.

I love the cow bell earrings.

But mostly, in both the video and in your presentation

on the runway, you just have so much confidence

and so much charisma that we can't take our eyes off of you.

- And now, Vivacious.

Let's take a look at your video.

- Straight from the heart of Jamaica

to the pulsating clubs of New York City,

I am Vivacious, the queen who brought you memorable hashtags

and Ornacia.

Buckle up, children, because Mama's

about to teach you how to make jerk chicken

like a true Jamaican queen.

Step one, gather your spices and cooking oil,

or as I call it, lube.

Step two, rub her in. [chicken squeaking]

Massage the spices into the chicken

like you are giving a happy ending at the bijou.

Step three, place your chicken into the fridge

death drop style... [chicken squeaks]

And let it marinate on what it could have been.

It could have been a nugget, could have been a contender,

could have been somebody.

Step four, heat it and mix it up.

Bake it, grill it, pan fry it,

and give it a good Jamaican dance to bring out the flavor.

The more you dance, the better the taste.

[upbeat music]

Step five, finish her and serve.

And if you want to feel bougie, add cilantro.

This is Vivacious, and this is how you make jerk chicken.

And remember, a good jerk will make you twerk.

Be on the lookout for my next dish,

blue drawers and dirty rice.

And check out my podcast now streaming nowhere.

[laughter]

- Vivacious, you had zero emotion

no matter what you did.

If you were cooking, even the dance, you'd be like--

- And maybe it wasn't intentional,

but it was giving unbothered the entire time,

which was funny to look at.

And you created a character.

Using the rubber chicken was very funny.

The noises, the sound effect that kept

going on and on and on.

- I do want to take a moment to say,

your makeup is a lot better tonight.

And this look tonight, is it a Brazilian tractor?

- She's something like that. - Okay.

- She's very club kid John Deere-ish.

- And I'm not mad at it. - Thank you.

- It's kind of elementary school play,

but you made it work.

- Thank you.

- Well, thank you, All Stars.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

[engine revs] All right.

Now just between us showgirls, what do you think?

We're looking for the top two All Stars of the week.

- Crystal Methyd was incredible.

The whole thing was really charming.

And I actually thought it's quite sophisticated

and really confident.

- That tutorial on how to make a banana split

was so childlike yet fun and subversive.

- And the way the instructions were given,

the narrative was very easy to follow.

- She puts a lot of thought into everything she does.

Her runway look tonight,

there were so many layers there.

- As a big giant cock, I mean, how do you not love that?

- Who doesn't love that?

- And we can all probably agree that Little Silky was

the star of this how-to video.

- I wasn't as crazy about that outfit,

but I did like all the udders in the Gauthier-esque

version of that.

- Listen, Silky knows how to create a concept.

The outfit was eye-catching, and I think she's a natural.

I think where Crystal is really methodical,

Silky just naturally has that overview of what her product is

and how to sell it.

- It's instinctual for her. - It's instinctual for her.

- I thought Salina is another one that had

a really strong night tonight.

She was very smart.

She was very funny.

- I took notes on that.

So many great ideas.

- When Little Chalupe opened her tortilla,

I just busted out laughing.

I thought it was very, very funny.

- Raffia is having a big night tonight.

I mean, I've never seen it look so chic and lovely.

- Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my All Stars.

Welcome back, queens.

Based on your how-to videos

and your Barn This Way runway presentations,

I've made some decisions.

Crystal,

Salina,

Silky,

each of you showed us how to do it like an All Star.

But the top two queens of the week are...

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Crystal Methyd

and Silky Nutmeg Ganache.

Condragulations. [cheers and applause]

You've each earned two points.

- Thank you.

- Ladykins, the rest of you can step to the back of the stage.

♪ ♪

Two All Stars stand before me.

Ladies, this is your chance to impress me,

win $10,000,

and earn a coveted extra point in our Tournament of All Stars.

The time has come... [thunderclap]

For you to Lip Sync

for Your Legacy.

- Another one, another one, another one.

Oh!

I want my point and I want that $10,000.

But I'm up against Silky, who is an assassin.

So I'm going to have to step up my game and pull that focus.

- Top two sounds very correct,

but I don't feel good just yet.

There's one more point to be made,

and you know it belongs to me.

- Good luck and don't fuck it up.

[soft pop music]

- ♪ Time, time, time ♪

♪ See what's become of me ♪

[upbeat rock music]

- Yes! - Yeah, Crystal!

♪ ♪

- ♪ Time, time, time ♪

♪ See what's become of me ♪

♪ While I looked around for my possibilities ♪

♪ I was so hard to please ♪

♪ Look around ♪

♪ Leaves are brown ♪

♪ And the sky ♪

♪ Is a hazy shade of winter ♪

♪ Hear the Salvation Army band ♪

♪ Down by the riverside ♪

♪ It's bound to be a better ride ♪

♪ Than what you got planned ♪

♪ Carry a cup in your hand ♪

♪ Look around ♪

♪ Leaves are brown ♪

♪ And the sky is a hazy shade of winter ♪

♪ Look around ♪

♪ Grass is high ♪

♪ Fields are ripe ♪

♪ It's the springtime of my life ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Seasons change with the scenery ♪

♪ Weaving time in a tapestry ♪

♪ Won't you stop and remember me? ♪

- Come on.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Look around ♪

♪ Leaves are brown ♪

♪ And the sky ♪

♪ Is a hazy shade of winter ♪

♪ Look around ♪

♪ Leaves are brown ♪

♪ There's a patch of snow on the ground ♪

♪ Look around ♪

♪ Leaves are brown ♪

♪ There's a patch of snow on the ground ♪

♪ Look around ♪

♪ Leaves are brown ♪

♪ There's a patch of snow on the ground ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Where did she have those sticks?

- Where were those?

- Did she just block her? - Yes.

- She blocked her. - Shady bitch.

- I would have done the same thing, honestly.

Like, baby, yes. You want to be seen?

- All Stars, I've made my decision.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Silky Nutmeg Ganache, condragulations.

You're a winner, baby.

[applause]

- Thank you, Mama Ru.

- You've won a cash tip of $10,000,

courtesy of Dr. Bronner's,

who is also donating $100,000 to the ACLU Foundation

to protect LGBTQ+ rights

and freedom of expression.

Plus an extra point, which gives you a total

of four points.

Crystal Methyd, you have a total of 5 points.

Condragulations.

- [howls] [laughter]

- April, Aura, Salina, and Vivacious,

please step to the front of the stage.

♪ ♪

- Wow.

- All Stars, with great power comes great responsibility.

The bottom four queens will each receive one point,

but you must give it away to the All Star you believe

is the MVQ, the Most Valuable Queen of the week.

Choose wisely, because at the end of this bracket,

only the two queens with the most points

will move on to the semifinals,

and the other queens will be eliminated.

Condragulations, All Stars.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

all: Amen! - All right.

Now let the music play.

♪ Good luck ♪

♪ And don't eff it up, up, up ♪

♪ Good luck ♪

♪ And don't eff it up, up, up ♪

♪ Good luck ♪

♪ And don't eff it up, up, up ♪

♪ Good luck and don't ♪

♪ Good luck and don't ♪

♪ Good luck and don't ♪

♪ Eff it up, up, up ♪

♪ Good luck and don't ♪

♪ Good luck, baby ♪

♪ Good luck and don't ♪

♪ Eff it up, up, up ♪

♪ Good luck and don't ♪

♪ Good luck, baby ♪

♪ Good luck and don't ♪

♪ Eff it up, up, up ♪