Original subtitles

Welcome to Ireland this way, under, down, under. The sky's always yellow in

or shine.

Down in Tasmania, come to Tasmania.

When Topsy meets Turbogate, start to spin like a Tasmanian devil in his

kin. Down in Tasmania, come to Tasmania.

Mom's alive, why a death knell for Bonalong? Molly's all fired up, we'll

place with the dog.

Down in Tasmania, come to Tasmania.

Diddlery dingo and Wendell Tearwolf.

Francis X Bush, lad is never uncouth.

Oh, yeah, don't forget, Taz.

Cowpoke Jack surveys the lush, grassy meadow, looking for strays.

There goes one now.

Nasty crash, Taz, old man.

Gee, I hope he didn't break his neck.

Gotta keep your head on straight, boy.

That's better.

A flat tire.

The pit crew snaps into action.

I think this motor mania needs a little discussion.

Whoa, look at the time. I've got homework to do. Pity.

Taz, Taz, Taz.

I think it's time we had a father and son talk.

No, not about that.

It's about this motorcycle thing.

You know, son, motorcycles are a high -ticket item. They don't grow on trees.

Oh, you know, you tried plant ones.

Resourceful, lad.

Anyway.

I'll tell you what. Maybe it's time you found a job.

That's a sure -fire way to earn the necessary capital to realize your dream.

Vroom, vroom.

Maggie! Maggie!

Maggie!

I know it's just an insignificant little piece of land, but it's mine, and its

upkeep is a real passion for me. You understand, don't you?

Uh -huh.

Great. And remember, there's big money to be made here.

I'll check back later. I have to take the missus to the swap meet. She just

loves that, the dear thing.

Well, I suppose it's not bad for a first effort.

I'm sure you'll do better next time. But fear not, your labours will not go

unrewarded. Here, a bright, shiny new quarter.

Don't spend it all in one place.

Observe, Daniel. Our friend Taz has constructed a beverage oasis in the

the wilderness.

Oh, don't mind if I do.

Beans, sugar.

What brings you to this devilish spot on the map, Tad?

Poor devil. It's the old selling lemonade for a motorcycle story.

Betty cried mowing lawns, too.

Fear not, Tad, our friend. The entrepreneurial spirit has not breathed

Quite true, sibling of mine.

For even as we speak, we ourselves are off to a job with actual cash

remuneration.

And it just so happens that we are in need of an assistant.

That is you, Taz.

One,

and in the middle of nowhere, too.

Brilliant evaluation of the situation, beaver -tailed bro.

However, I have here a means to our salvation.

Your days in the Mammal Scouts have stood you in good stead. You are always

prepared.

What do you call that?

A plot hole. Hmm. How convenient.

It's more than just a convenience. It's an accommodation.

Just this minute, I can assure you, ma 'am will be very pleased.

What will I be very pleased about, Bob?

Sorry, gotta go.

Oh, no, Mum.

The grand opening is less than 24 hours away, Bob.

Important guests will be arriving any moment.

The Hotel Tasmania's entire reputation will be riding on tomorrow's opening. If

everything isn't perfect, we'll be having a grand closing.

And why are you grinning like an idiot, Bob?

What? I said, never mind.

Why are those birds turned up so loud, Bob?

What birds?

Oh, those birds.

And have you gotten that Tasmanian devil yet?

I'm sorry, Tasmanian devil? Bob, you know very well that the guest will be

feeding meat to a Tasmanian devil as a sort of entrance fee. It'll be a good

for him and fun for him.

Unless you've forgotten.

You mean one of these?

What's that?

That, which you so derisively refer to, is a Tasmanian devil, which I might add

I went to great lengths to obtain for you.

That is not a Tasmanian devil, Bob.

It is?

No, it isn't. It's how?

Isn't. It isn't it?

All right, Bob.

Prove it.

A real Tasmanian devil would have devoured that meat in half a second,

Oh, foolish me.

He must have just eaten.

Never mind that now, Bob.

We just better have a Tasmanian devil on that pedestal in 24 hours. And you

better have those carpenters, plumbers and a kitchen bin to finish the hotel.

All taken care of and in one call.

You missed a spot, Constance, dear.

Oh, my.

Nothing, nothing.

Anything I can do to help, Mum?

Oh, Mr. Sickly.

Yes. Watch my son and make sure he doesn't do anything foolish.

That should keep you busy for a lifetime.

I'm off to check on the food shipment. And don't forget about that Tasmanian

devil, Bob.

The what?

The Tasmanian devil!

All right. Still going on about that, I mean.

You said you were a Tasmanian devil. You lied!

Couldn't help overhearing, old man. Going after a Tasmanian devil, what?

Yes, yes, yes. What do you know about it?

Everything.

Indeed. I've tracked the little beast all across the outback.

Scroungy creatures.

Eat anything.

If I saw one, I'd know it in a second.

Yes, yes. Fascinating.

Anyway, Timothy Daniel.

Delighted to see you.

The Platypus Brothers at your service.

Jolly. Now, you don't suppose you two chips could whip this place into shape

tomorrow, do you?

Not much to do, really.

No job too big, nor too small.

And cheap at half the price.

And it is half the price.

Fortunately, we have the able help of our new apprentice, Tavs.

Splendid, splendid.

As long as you pay for him.

Let go, you vile beast!

Come on, Mr. Thickley.

We'd better figure out how to get a Tasmanian devil before Mum has a cow.

Right. A cow won't do.

It's nothing like a Tasmanian devil. Do bovine.

Eats grass.

Your job is simple.

Taz, oh, Apprentice Supreme, just stand there and don't move.

Vroom, vroom.

Correct. You'll be spinning your way to a bi -wheeled motor vehicle in no time.

Oh, it's so good to see those whenever you call them tired at work.

Nothing like the old values, eh?

Hello, what's this?

Gold -bricking?

I'll take care of that.

Don't you have anything useful to do?

Suppose if you did, you wouldn't be here.

Is that all you've got to say for your dreadful best self?

Now go on, there's plenty to do. The plentiful fellows aren't paying you to

stand around and pick your... Just go on, go on!

It's a shame the cruel trick nature plays on certain species.

Have you got the carpet text, twin fruit of our parents?

Right here.

Have you got the hammer, O period, of my sentence?

Yes, yes, my dramatically correct bro.

Well, accidents can happen. Yes, they do. Especially in the home. Of course,

this isn't our home. No, our home is much nicer.

Hold this, Paz, while we secure the chandelier to the ceiling.

There you go again, doing absolutely nothing.

I wonder if the Platypus brothers have any idea what a lazy lout they've hired

as an apprentice.

Now go on, find something to do. I'm with you.

You heard me. Go find something to do.

Mr.

Bob, what happened?

He jumped off my yoke.

That problem's taken care of.

Bob?

Bob? Have you found that Tasmanian devil yet?

You know we can't open the hotel without him.

Not just yet, ma 'am. Sorry. I've been too busy setting up the rest of the

hotel, in case you haven't noticed.

Yes, I see.

You've taken care of everything.

Now, where the devil is that Tasmanian devil?

Oh, say.

Chip, you just escorted out of here. There is one.

Say, the little... Of course there was. Behind you. Yes, right. Well...

He was such a sweet thing.

Too bad puberty had to deliver him such a vicious blow.

Vroom, vroom, vroom.

I'm worried about our baby. That's the 17th motorcycle magazine he's eaten.

No luck in the dash for cash, eh, son?

Vroom, vroom, vroom.

I know you've tried, son.

But I have something here that just might make your spirit sore a tad.

Little boy is growing up.

Happens in the best of homes.

No, this stupid outback.

We'll never find a Tasmanian devil. Mum was right.

Let's go back, Mr. Tickley.

Gee, must dip up a lip, Bob.

Things are lit up.

Really?

No, down here.

Tasmanian devil tricks.

Come on, Mr Thickley. I can't wait to serve Mum that humble pie.

Oh, mind that. Just the wind.

This is where it gets dice tricky.

Have to have a keen eye for detail.

Wait a minute.

What's this?

The tree is within our grasp. I feel it.

No.

I feel something else. Something gooey.

Mr. Ticklin, you are an expert woodsman, are you not?

Indeed.

Therefore you know the outback like the back of your hand, correct?

Quite right.

Good, good. Very reassuring.

Then what are we thinking in this quicksand, you stupid wallaby?

Ah, good.

An inquiring mind, but enough of that.

Any movement at all simply makes one think faster, you know.

Petting me, of course, would constitute a movement, if you know what I mean.

Oh,

hello, Mr. The Platypus Brothers.

Oh, you want to see Mr. Bob about the job?

He's in the outback with Mr. Dickley looking for a Tasmanian devil.

I don't suppose it's all right to fake, is it?

As long as you don't move your lips.

I see.

I told you it was a left at Albuquerque.

Here I was, going to prove my shift to Mum.

Hey, what about you?

Well, I'll tell you. None whatsoever, thank you very much.

Hey, I'm a wallaby, not Albert Einstein.

I say, Bob, what's wet with squiggly hair and sharp pointy things?

I don't know.

Crickly pears?

Pomeranian? Porn train?

No, I don't think it starts with a P.

Did you

order

lunch?

No, why?

Because it's here. Quick, set the table.

Pat Woodman, are we? You wouldn't know a bleeding Tasmanian devil from a hole in

the wall.

Relax, man. I've been in far worse predicaments than this.

Oh, great, lovely, wonderful.

Excuse me, have you tried all of me lately? Quite tasty.

A little Beethoven before dining helps digest the food, I always say.

Paz, what's a nice Tasmanian devil like you doing in a place like this?

Oh, this chap is your boss.

Sorry, mate. We had no idea. How about the wallaby?

Ah, that's too bad.

Well, see you around.

You're a charismatic devil. And you want to work for me?

Well, of course. You're hired.

We want food.

We... We want food!

Really a dismal way to impress a new employer.

You're fired!

I want my mummy!

Bob?

Bob? Mummy?

What are you doing down there, Bob? I sent you out to find a Tasmanian devil.

And I found one, didn't I? Say.

Congratulations. You finally did something half right.

A woman is never satisfied.

Oh, darn.

Well, I guess it's pizza again.

Pepperoni and anchovies?

Oh, man, you know I hate fish.

How about mushrooms and extra cheese?

No small thanks to my efforts, I might add. After all, I did find the Tasmanian

devil. That's correct, Bob.

You found him. And from now on, he's your responsibility.

Good job.