Original subtitles

- I'm just going to take a video of you.

Yeah ?

I've got a a small kink.

It's nothing big or anything, but hmm...

Could you tell me... you love me

into the camera ?

- Do you know my friend Star ?

- Wait, don't finish.

- Why ?

- So we can go and fuck someone.

- Okay, sure.

- I don't want to waste it. - Yeah.

- Where're you going ?

- Bathroom. I was kind of close to...

- You wanna like... come ? Yeah.

- To the hookup ? - Oh, no. No.

- Why ?

- Kind of scared to get murdered.

- Fuck it ! How are you going to get murdered ?

- They might have a knife. - Why would they have a knife ?

- Well, they might have kitchen knives.

- What they would do with kitchen knives ?

- They'd stab me. Serrated edges.

- Come on. Just come and it'll be fun.

- Nope.

- You're so rude. - Uuhh....

- Just go. - Bye.

- Bye. - See you.

- I love watching cute gay couples,

like when they're old. - What do you ever get ?

- I mean, they look pretty gay.

I think I want this.

Okay. You're right. Shot us a bit of beer actually.

- Oh, shit. Yeah. Okay.

- Give me the lighter.

Thank you.

- What are you doing?

No... - Stop. I'm doing it.

- No. Give it to me. Give it to me.

Come here.

It's the hold a bit like this.

Lighter like this.

Get it under.

Pop it. Here.

- Yeah, she did it. Like that.

- What about this guy?

He's one mile away. - No.

- Why ? He's hot.

- I don't care if he's hot. I just...

I don't want to have sex with someone for the first time if I don't know them.

Well, was there anyone that you do want to have sex with for the first time ?

- Yes. - Who ?

- Jake.

- Jake...?

Double English. Jake ? - Double English. Jake.

I don't know why you don't like him.

It's not I don't like him. I just didn't realize you two were...

- We text. - Oh, you text...

- We text. I sit next to him in English.

We text about English stuff...

and some non- English things.

- Is it big ?

- It's really big. Yeah.

What ?

- We'll still hang out...

when like we get boyfriends and stuff ?

I just I'm scared of...

of real life becoming permanent and...

everybody else here sucks.

- Everyone here sucks,

but humm....

I was thinking, maybe after school,

we could humm...

we could just leave

and

go to a different country and

just stay there. Even if we don't like it,

we can go somewhere else and

just live it out.

Would you do that with me ?

- I got some green hash,

snow, e- pills, ket,

DMT, oxies, fentanyl.

Oh.Uh, I got some methamphetamines.

Just meth, just amphetamines.

And some G.

-Oooh...

- What ? - What ?

Wait, what's G ?

- Excellent question.

Okay, pretend we're at a party...

- Wait

Wait. Is there going to be any food ?

- Yes, there'll be food.

Popcorn, dips.

- Who has popcorn with dips ? - Who has popcorn with dips ?

- Guys, shut up and listen,

Right?

Imagine you are dancing someone

who is not interested in you.

G is the cheap cog

to make them horny.

Spike their drink.

- Hey, there you are. - Thanks, mate.

- Brought you a drink. - Oh, yes.

- It takes about 15 minutes to hit the system.

Whoever takes it will have lowered inhibitions

and feel a sense of euphoria.

- I wanna fuck you.

- Just need to make sure not to overdose.

overdose.

- Why ? What happens then ?

- You will lose motor functions,

respiratory difficulties,

and you will fall under or die.

- All right, can I breathe ?

Sorry, I can't breathe.

Now you can counteract this

by taking some stimulants.

Now give me my money and leave.

- Okay.

Why are you filming me for so long ?

- Because I want to know it.

- Know what ? You're making me nervous.

- Look, tell everyone that's watching,

how it feels to be losing your virginity

in t minus 10 minutes.

- I, I don't know. I'm nervous.

- Don't be. Okay ?

Walk up to him and give him a compliment.

- Okay. Okay.

Sup ?

- Absolutely not. You know, it was terrible.

- Aahhhh...

- Come on. Again. - Hey. Hmm...

You're really nice tonight.

- Thanks.

- Okay. And then I go for the kiss.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

How, how do I know it's... hmm...

How do I know that's... when's the time to go ?

- It's like... you know,

that feeling you get in your stomach. - Yeah,

- You can sense all their movements.

You can hear their breathing.

Then the impulse comes.

- What are you doing ? - I wanna kiss you.

Do you not want to ? - No, no.

- No. I mean, it's just a really bad time to do this.

- You're going to kiss me back. It's a bad timing ?

- No. I... I just didn't expect it.

- We wanked together, Tommy.

- Yeah, it's in a platonic way.

- How is in a platonic way ?

- I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just...

I'm nervous. Okay. There's Jake about to come

and we're about to have sex.

- Okay, Jake. I didn't...

- What ?

- Jake, it's what this is all about, isn't it ? Yes ?

- Wait, are you angry with me now ?

- No, I'm not angry with you. No.

- Okay. - Okay. It's...

- So sorry. Am I interrupting something ?

- No. No. So...

- Hummm....

You look really nice tonight.

- Thanks.

Do you wanna get that drink ?

- Yeah.

- Oh well, let's go.

♫ In my brain. I needed hope ♫

♫ then a little company ♫

♫ say what you mean please. ♫

♫ I don't wanna play this day ♫

♫ with you. ♫

- Hey - What ?

- I've never done this before. - Me too.

♫ I don't wanna play this day ♫

♫ with, with you. ♫

♫ say what you mean please. ♫

♫ I don't wanna play this day ♫

♫ with you. ♫

- Wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop !

Wait. Stop !

♫ be with you ♫

-Not too crazy.

- Tommy, I'm leaving for school now. Do you wanna wake up ?

- Tommy,

- I'll take you. - Okay.

Thank you. I got to leave in like 20 minutes.

So, if we could...

- 20 minutes ? - Yeah.

- Oh my god. - That's really early.

- Yeah. How do you do that every day ?

- I don't know. I've been late so many times, so...

- I really... - Awsome, yeah ?

- What do you got first ? - Spanish.

- Spanish ?

I wish I did Spanish. I did French instead.

Not good vibes. No.

- Do you remember the last time you were happy ?

- How do you do that?

- I mean, that feeling you get inside

when everything is truly...

undoubtedly

fine.

- Nah, me neither,

-Tommy, did you have the other four ?

- And what's more depressing is, I think,

that these pills Vibs gave me were fakes.

My sister doesn't really deserve this.

Sometimes life just finds someone who's done nothing wrong and

fucks them.

- Where were you ?

- Sorry, sorry, I was,

I was, I was, I was late.

- Yeah, I know you're on drugs.

- Okay.

- I deserve to be picked up

rather than waiting here in the cold for you.

- Oh, mate, can I tell you something ?

- What ?

- You know, I'm not really meant to be here.

- Oh...

- No, I'm... seriously...

Have you not noticed how different everything looks ?

- Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not meant to be here either.

Want things to go back to normal, like the way they were, but...

that doesn't exist anymore.

- No, don't do that. Don't do that. - Do what ?

- Why are you trying to act like you know what I'm going through ?

- What ? - It's just so dark.

- What does that do ?

- In hindsight, this

isn't my most responsible moment.

- How'd you take it ?

- Maddie, it's a pill.

Wait.

Wait !

Stop !

Stop !

Stop !

I think about it all the time. So...

these drugs...

they create silence in my head.

Because when everything is quiet

and I do something he used to,

I can feel him.

And when it's not silent,

I feel that the whole world's empty

and I'm the only one left behind.

- Shit ! I forgot about Maddie.

- Jake.

Jake. Jake. Come on. - No more, man.

- Jake, don't be like this. Jake. Jake.

Jake. Jake. Jake. ja, Jake.

Seriously. Jake. You know, just sat still.

- What ? For 8 hours ? Whilst I was high,

and some junky was showing to turn me off, no ?

- Okay. But Jake,

he's the one guy that likes me.

- He doesn't even like you, by the way.

He just feels sorry for you

and I don't even see why anyways. You're a horrible person.

- Oh yeah. Okay. I'm so horrible.

I'm sorry for feeding you.

- What, drugs ?

Who the hell gives drugs to a 14year-old ?

- I totally thought she was older.

Maddie, people do drugs when they're 15.

I was basically doing you a favour.

- A favour ? - Yeah, a favour.

- I was scared and you left me alone in that place.

- You wanted to do it. You actually wanted to do it.

- You wanted something to talk about ?

- I'm so worried to talk to you. - Be nice to me.

Please just be nice to me. I deserve nice.

- Okay.

The are you hot enough pick ?

You've got to make sure that your abs're showing

and also your butt,

but not too much of either cuz you want to remain versatile.

You can't be too fat

or too skinny.

I hate this.

Easy.

- Where are you going ?

- Oh, I found the guy that took Star.

Well, aren't you going to say anything?

- No.

I was going to tell you I was going on a date.

Hopefully, you'll tell me to be back on time

to be safe but... never mind.

- Maddie,

Maddie, share your location with me.

- Hello.

Ah, this is for you.

How was your day ?

- Good. - Good.

Ah...

take a seat. Let me get you another drink.

- Mhm... mmh...

- I'm just gonna...

take a video of you, yeah ?

- Do you, hmm...

do you know my friend Star ?

- Who ?

- Brown hair,

blue eyes. - Shhh !!!

Can I ask you something ?

Do you think I'm kind ? Hahh.

Do you think I'm capable of being loved ?

Like I said I just don't feel like people like me,

like, like I mean, I mean like

I feel like people think,

I feel like people feel sorry for me.

I mean you and me we'll fuck and everything, but...

I just want to know,

Do you think I can be more than that to someone ?

- I'm just trying to find my friend Star. I mean...

- I don't know your bloody friend.

Sorry. You know what ? I've forgotten something.

You just stay there. Yeah.

Just give me a sec. One sec.

- You just need to make sure

not to overdose.

You will lose motor functions,

respiratory difficulties,

and you will fall under or die.

- We are on...

a bridge in London.

- I'm going to be brave as fuck and

jump in this river. - You are not.

- Oh my god. This is us.

- Tommy.

Are you okay ?

Tommy ? Are you okay ?

- I'm just so lonely sometimes.

- I know,

but I'm gone.

- Yeah, but why though ?

You know why ? Like, just...

We didn't even do anything wrong, you know ?

- Listen to me.

I never got to travel the world,

I never got married.

I want you to do those things.

- What's the point if we're not doing them together?

- We are doing them together, Tommy. - Like how ?

- Damn. I got lucky.

Oh yes, you're the best person in the world.

- I fucked so many people.

And I wanted to tell you, honest, anyone,

but I didn't know how to do.

Just know that I'm checking up,

That I'm always there.

When you,

when you first get your boyfriends or you...

get your first house or, you know...

you're moving on with life.

- You can counteract this by taking some stimulants.

- Start coming up.

- Where are you going ? I was going to tell you I was going on a date.

Hopefully, you'll tell me to be back on time.

- It's okay.

Just breathe when I breathe.

I'm always there.

- Maddie, I'm so sorry. - What ?

- I'm sorry for not listening to you.

I mean, Star was my best friend, you know, and...

it was kind of all my fault.

- It's not your fault.

- No, it is. It is.

That night we just got into some stupid argument,

like are nothing.

And it just made me feel so lonely

and I hate myself and...

I'm just sorry if I made you feel that way.

- I don't hate you.

- You know you're my only friend.

- Yeah, I know.

- So go on then. Tell me about this date.

- Honestly disgusting. this guy.

He went to the toilet in the chicken shop,

you know, the restaurant that he promised me,

just to pop a zit.

And when he came back,

the zit was bleeding

and the blood fell into the ketchup

and... he ate it.

- Ugh, nooo... - He ate it

- Nooo...

- Did you kiss him ? - No, no, no, no.

- Yeah, I guess.

Are you going to see him again ?