All language subtitles for 1 1 Real.Time.with.Bill.Maher.S24E16.480p.x264-mSD[EZTVx.to]

Start the clock.

Thank you very much, people.

I appreciate it. How you doing?

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you so much. All right. I
appreciate it, but

we have to start.

Have to start. There's so much news to
get to. I'm not even going to tell you

what happened with the Iran situation
this week because you'll think it's a

rerun and turn the show off.

Really. I'm telling you. This is not a
rerun. I mean, unless they're

showing it in a couple of months, then I
guess it is a rerun. But it's May 29th

today. That's where the day is. But
every week it's the same day. We're so

close. We're so close.

We're like that store that's been going
out of business for 10 years. You know,

just every week, out of business.

And the rhetoric, it's just getting
uncomfortably sexual for me.

We're so close. They're begging for it.

They want it so bad. We're almost there.
Jesus Christ.

I need a cold shower after I watch Jake
Tapper now. It's just ridiculous.

Trump says Iran is negotiating on fumes.
Yes, and we're driving on them.

But a little good news, a little light
at the end of the tunnel. For the first

time in 88 days, Iran got their Internet
back.

They had been living without any
Internet, and everybody in the country

and said the same thing.

Spencer Pratt is going to be the mayor
of Los Angeles?

I just didn't know.

But I tell you, due to the war and the
gas prices, unlike nine other things,

Trump's approval rating, lowest ever,
34%. Even underwater with white

people who did not go to college. That
was always his base. That's like Taco

Bell losing stoners.

I mean, really.

Losing the... Losing the non -college
-educated white people? What do you have

to do? Stage UFC fights on the lawn?

Oh, we're doing that. I forgot. We
actually are doing that. That's right.

My bad. I forgot.

But, oh, no, not just that.

A lot of exciting things.

We're having a big 250th birthday party
for America concert.

They announced the lineup.

Vanilla Ice.

I'm not making that. Vanilla Ice, Milli
Vanilli, Morris Day, Bret Michaels.

I think this is very admirable about the
president. It shows he's concerned for

the unemployed.

And then... And then...

After they announced this all -star
lineup, a lot of them said, no, what are

talking about? We're not playing.

That's got to hurt a lot when you can't
close the deal with Milli Vanilli.

And I guess

we should have seen this coming, given
the

pattern of this administration.

Justice Department is opening criminal
investigation into E. Jean Carroll, the

woman who sued Trump successfully about
sexual harassment and defamation.

And Trump is mum on it. He says he
cannot comment on an ongoing

But... Okay, but...

This is such a pattern. If you cross
Donald Trump, oh my gosh, they will come

after you with anything.

They will find anything. They're going
after E. Jean Carroll for alleged

and also bringing more than four items
into the changing room. I mean...

And, oh...

There's something in the category of,
wow, we never used to be this country.

Trump...

They're putting out a $250 bill with
Trump's face on it.

I guess it's commemorative, but I think
maybe you can also say, I don't know,

Republicans in Congress are thrilled
about it. They cannot wait to carry it

their wallet. What a switcheroo, having
Trump's face next to their ass.

Oh, we kid.

Gentle good humor.

Gentle good humor. That's right.

And look, sorry I have to report this.
This is horrible news, but I have to

report. People get their news from this
show.

Ebola is in Africa, and it's apparently
not completely under control.

Started in a gold mining town. Trump is
very concerned. He asked today, is the

gold okay?

This is especially concerning because
the heads of our health departments are

Bobby Kennedy and Dr. Oz.

Well, they are. And there was a video of
them this week. They were hanging out

at Dr.

Oz's house, and Bobby Kennedy is
wrangling snakes. I don't know if

Pet snakes, or they just found them in
the garage. But there's Bobby Kennedy

wrangling snakes. And I have two
questions. One, is it right for the

of Health and Human Services to be
engaging in such risky behavior?

And has Bobby ever come across an animal
and just left it the fuck alone?

All right, we've got a great show. We
have former Speaker of the House, Kevin

McCarthy. Wow.

And Katie Terrar here. But first up, he
is an astrophysicist and director of the

Hayden Planetarium.

His new book is called Take Me to Your
Leader, Perspectives on Your First Alien

Encounter. Neil deGrasse Tyson, there he
is.

My brother, how are you?

Wow, you really brought it tonight.

Wow. I must lead off by congratulating
you.

on the Mark Twain program. Oh, thank you
very much. I feel this. I appreciate

it.

It goes to people who simultaneously
piss you off, inform you, and

make you laugh. Yeah. And you do this
uniquely.

Well, I piss

them off because I'm

right. But anyway.

But I got to get right back at you
because, you know, I've read all your

And this one, I feel like you hit your
stride. I think they're all good. But

this one, I think, is your best. And I
think you don't get the shine you

as a writer because you became a TV
star.

You did.

And people forget that only happens
because the books come first, because

real work is there. I feel like this is
your best one. First of all, it's the

most personal.

To me, it was. I mean, the fact that
you, for example, say when you were a

you wanted to be.

abducted by aliens. Yeah, oh yeah.

Not to leave Earth. I mean, I like
Earth.

The Bronx.

It was the Bronx, New York.

I just thought the immensity of the
universe called to me.

And the only way I can get there, given
the state of any science or technology

on Earth, I would need help from aliens.

So I wanted a beam of light to come down
from the sky and take me away.

Yeah.

So you're disappointed that didn't
happen? Yeah, kind of. A little bit. A

bit. Yeah. Even after reading what they
do to people? No.

I'm just... All right. I'm just... Maybe
that was before

I read about the body orifice. Okay.
Curiosity.

But you've got to admit, it's odd that
aliens would cross the galaxy to go look

in your butthole. That would just be...
No, it's not.

Oh, it's not?

That's where you would look.

Wait,

up through there.

Medically, that's what we do anyway. We
look in there, and it's, yes.

Okay, so dogs do it. Dogs go up the
butthole. No, they just sniff there. We

instruments. They have instruments.

It's not about the butthole. It's about
getting inside the body through the

butthole. What would be interesting is
if... The aliens have some of these dog

elements to them, and you greet them,
and the first thing they want to do is

around and sniff your butt. Let's talk.

No, no, I'm serious.

We, they might have habits that would be
strange to us. Okay.

Don't blow a gasket.

I have so many.

I knew we were waylaid with this. Okay,
go.

Because the book is so timely. We are on
this precipice. I've done editorials

about this. I love that editorial you
did. Thank you. I appreciate it. Because

we've talked about it here before. It
was on every point. Right. And you

actually say there's a near certainty
that there is alien life in the galaxy.

know you're more skeptical about what
we're seeing now, some of the things

talked about that. You're more skeptical
about the fact that, I mean, it has

changed. The very serious people are.
saying these things. The narratives have

shifted significantly from the farmer's
back 40 saying he saw something floating

over his crops to revelers coming out of
the bar at 2 a .m. So that was decades

ago, and now we have high -ranking
people who, speaking sincerely, under

saying they've got aliens in the back
shed or reverse -engineered

crashed saucers, alien body parts. So
what it says to me is...

Okay. Is it now too much to ask to say,
bring out the aliens?

Am I...

I mean, that makes a point in the
documentary, the disclosure documentary

covered. Age of Disclosure.

Age of Disclosure.

It's not even the president who seems to
have the authority. It seems to be

disparate throughout the government.

Even the president himself doesn't. And
I don't know what that means, but I'm

not sure that that's not very possible
with the way our government works. If

there was a cover -up, of course the
president would be in on it. That's not

news to me that that's a possibility.

All I'm saying is...

We have enough information to the point
where if they did bring out the alien,

it would be almost anticlimactic, given
what's been described about it and given

how we've been treated to every possible
imagined alien that you can come up

with in a century of storytelling on
that subject.

So you know what would surprise me? If
they did bring out the alien and it was

humanoid, because that's weird, most
life on Earth...

does not look human with whom we have
DNA in common. We have 20 -25 %

genes with a banana.

So an alien from another galaxy that has
no genes at all should look at least as

different from us as we and bananas look
from each other.

The same.

So be creative.

Be creative. And if it actually looks
humanoid, I would be shocked. But fine,

I'll accept it.

But I'm waiting for that to happen. And
it would be anticlimactic because I've

already told you it's there. It is
amazing the lack of imagination that we

when we make movies.

And the aliens are always just some
variation. They look like us, but

got weird ears or they've got, you know,
ridges. Or four fingers identified.

Something like that. Did you see Project
Hail Mary?

Yes, I did. So that was Andy Weir, the
author, also wrote The Martian.

And actually he handed me one of my
highest compliments ever.

He's a software engineer turned
novelist. He was writing The Martian.

There's a lot of science in that. When
he was going to play loosey -goosey with

the physics, he imagined I was looking
over his shoulder. And he didn't want me

tweeting about it.

So he doubled down on the science.

Really? Well, on The Martian with
Project Hail Mary, which is kind of like

Alien Buddy movie.

Yes, with a rock.

With a rock, okay.

Rocky was his name. So what I liked
about it was he tried to break open the

Hollywood trope of the humanoid alien.

This was craboid, and it was made of
rocks, and it lived in a different air

pressure and ammonia atmosphere. So he's
just trying to break the mold. You

shouldn't fault him for doing that. No,
but it still seems like whenever they go

to another planet in a distant part of
the universe, it still looks like San

Bernardino.

I mean, that was the end. All right.

But I read in your book that every
broadcast that we've ever made has gone

space, like anything that was put out in
the airwaves. Yes, some airwaves will

go out better than others, like FM goes
straight out.

Remember in the old days, you could hear
AM radio stations.

from neighboring cities, but FM you
couldn't. On a clear night. On a clear

night. You could hear Atlanta.

So these are waves bouncing off one of
the layers of the atmosphere. So not all

waves would get out, but television
would, FM would, and other sorts of

broadcasts. So everything that's been on
TV, or a speech by Hitler, is out

there. Coms are out there. Yes.

Honeymooners. There's shows out here.
Well, not if you were cable most of your

life. No, I did a show on Politically
Incorrect.

That's correct.

All your cable work is hidden from the
aliens.

But they might like my earlier work.

So it's a radio bubble.

You think they like me, Doc?

I hear they're a little woke.

No, they don't know to like or dislike.

They will use you.

the early signals that are available to
them, as an emissary of what it is to be

human on Earth.

Okay, now, what preceded you was like
the Honeymooners and Howdy Doody. And

Honeymooners, remember, we all laughed
when Ralph Cramden threatened to punch

his wife to the moon. And that was
considered funny.

If the aliens first get a hold of that,
I don't know.

What they'll think of us. I know.

I mean, if they're that smart, they'll
see that, and then

they'll see everybody loves Raymond, and
they'll go, okay.

They grew up. They advanced. Okay, I
would like to think that. But if they

visit and really looked around the
world, what forms most of your content

your... The monologue would be evidence
to the alien that there's no sign of

intelligent life on Earth. Is that why
they're not here? Because they

immediately went back home.

One of the points I made in that
editorial I did was that we used to

them coming here, and now I welcome it.

Because one of the reports said that
they may have stopped, you know, they

dis... What? You're making that face up.
No, no, I'm listening.

I'm speaking.

They said it hovered over this Air Force
base and it absolutely

made the nuclear missiles unable to
fire.

If they're doing that, I say bring it
on.

Yeah, and in fact, that's the subtext of
the original and the subsequent...

filmed the day the Earth stood still.
The aliens found out that we had

nuclear power in 1951, and they said
this destabilizes the solar system and

other life forms, and they came here to
stop it. Right. So this has been a

subtext for quite some time. Right. You
don't want the Keanu Reeves, sorry,

but... Oh, yeah.

That was a different one, because we
were a source of biodiversity, and we

destroying them. They couldn't use the
nuke angle, because the times had

changed. All right. Last question, AI.

I've got to ask you, what is the
connection?

Broad question, but AI and aliens.

I mean, is there any connection? You
think they're more present possibly here

because we got onto AI and this worries
them or it encourages them or is there a

connection? In the book, I make a very
simple point that if AI is the exemplar

of human intellect and the alien is much
smarter than us, that's a pretty low

bar for them to be worried.

Okay? It impresses us.

that computers can be the sum of all of
our intelligence.

But if we are, if chimps are to us what
we are to aliens,

consider it. We have 98 % identical DNA
with chimps.

So there's a lot going on in that 2%. So
imagine an alien species that's 2 %

beyond us in that same vector.

What would we look like to them? We
might be babbling chimps in their

And so if we say, oh, we've got this AI
and it's brilliant, they'll just laugh

us off the street.

It'd be like the chimps building an
apparatus to reach the bananas instead

them having to stack boxes to do so, and
they'd be really proud of it, and

that'd be their Einstein chimp, and then
we'd just look at that and laugh

because our toddlers can do that.

That's what we would look like.

So the idea that let's look for other
intelligent life in the universe comes

with a really big assumption, that we're
intelligent.

And who said we're intelligent?

We did, okay?

Not some exterior measure of our life
form versus others. Well, I don't know.

Everything I've learned about science
after sixth grade, I know from you.

So I'm just going to take that as
gospel.

All right, I've got to get to the panel.

It's always good to see you, Mike. Thank
you so much. It's a great call.

Everybody should read it. All right,
let's get to our panel.

Hi.

Kevin's back. All right. He's a former
Republican congressman who represented

California's 20th district and served as
the 55th Speaker of the House, and he

came back to this show. Kevin McCarthy.

Unbelievable.

And she's the anchor of MSNOW's Katie
Turr Reports and best -selling author of

Unbelievable. Her new show, The Moment
with Katie Turr, launches Monday, June

15th. Katie Turr. Great to see you.

Thanks for having me.

Okay.

All right, I want to start with Texas
tonight because it's all political news

for people who don't, junkies who follow
this. There was a primary down there,

and I think it tells us a lot because,
you know, a lot of what I read and hear

is just bullshit. It's just people's
opinions and this and that. Elections

real. That is the one thing that's real.
It tells us what people are thinking

and what matters to them.

Okay, so they had an election, a
Republican primary.

John Cornyn.

He was the old school, there he is, yes,
the Crocker German, like this guy, you

know, like very, what was he, a judge or
something before this? Attorney

General. Attorney General, and four
terms, and he's Republican classic.

He lost by almost 30 points to the nut.
I'm sorry, but he is. Ken Paxton.

The current Attorney General. The
current Attorney General. And this guy

right over till the hun. I mean, I'll
just...

If you watch Emmett now all the time,
turn the sound down for 30 seconds

I'm going to tell you what he believes
in and it'll blow your fucking mind.

Near total abortion ban.

80 % of Americans are against that.

He sued five cities that decriminalized
marijuana.

I take that personally.

Gay marriage. Said county clerks had
religious objections they could opt out

Issuing them 69 % of Americans are for
gay marriage. Okay. And he still won.

Also an election denier. Still won by
almost 30 points.

Now he's going to face the Democrat.

They've been saying forever a Democrat
could win.

Is this the time it could happen?

I mean, if you're going to talk about a
perfect storm, isn't this the moment?

Yes, I would put my own money that the
Democrats... That's not

so out of step with Texas.

But at the same time, he's been accused
of fraud and corruption over and over

again by his own party in Texas.

He's not the ideal candidate for them.
You know this. John Cornyn was the

safe candidate.

The Cook Political Report, the second
that Paxton won, went from likely to

Republican. That's a decent swing.

The internal conversation, and you tell
me if I'm wrong about this, because you

probably know better than I do, $250
million to protect Paxton in that race.

$250 million that can't be spent on
Georgia or North Carolina or Alaska, so

maybe not Texas? Well, you're saying the
Republicans have to spend that to

defend Texas? They have to spend that to
defend Paxton against James Tallarico.

They don't need to spend that money
normally. They can put that money

I mean, as Trump better than anybody
knows, money doesn't really win the

elections. No. Hillary outspent him by a
fortune in 2016. But in some places it

will. But if you're going to play
money...

Look, I like Cornyn. I thought Cornyn
did a tremendous job, came close to

7 million. But there comes a point when
maybe you serve too long.

He spent $100 million and still lost.
Now, remember what this is. This is a

runoff from a primary, so there's fewer
voters going in. No, wait a second. But

he overwhelmingly lost.

He lost because Trump.

Trump endorsed him. He voted with Trump
97 % of the time, or as Trump calls it,

not good enough.

And Trump wanted the other guy.

So again, just one more thing and then
I'll shut up.

Again, to my point about elections tell
us things.

What does this tell us? That Trump said,
I throw my thunderbolt at John Cornyn

and the people obey.

So you're reading into Paxton. What it
really means is President Trump is

probably stronger than any president in
our lifetime. Stronger than Ronald

Reagan in a Republican. There's another
election that took place there that.

It was Chip Roy, who was a congressman,
who was running for attorney general.

Trump did not endorse.

Simply by not endorsing, he lost.

Ted Cruz was 100 % behind him out there
campaigning.

The president can determine who's going
to win in a Republican primary. Yeah,

but is that going to win a general
election? I would bet the Republicans

Texas. Really? It would be closer than
it should be. But this is a problem. You

have to read into it.

If Republicans are spending money in
Texas, that means it's less money for

Iowa. Yeah, yeah. And money's not equal
in politics.

The Democrat is raising a lot. The more
money the candidate raises, the stronger

you are because you get TV time at a
lower rate.

Paxton doesn't raise great money, so the
party has come in.

But if you currently add up all the
money from all the parties...

Republican versus Democrat?

Republicans have 800. Do the Democrats
200?

Republicans may have a negative feeling.
Democrats are 10 points lower.

Democrats are in the hole money -wise.
They put out a report that they denounce

about why they lost the races.

Their leaders are very unpopular. This
should be a year where the Democrats

this unbelievable year, and they're not
going to have that.

They can win the House, but not by a
year.

but for the redistricting that's been
happening. If you asked me this question

month ago, I'd say Democrats are going
to win the House.

Now what's going to happen, though,
Republicans just added nine more points.

Now, I don't like this redistricting
idea.

My first bill in the state legislature
was to put it with a commission.

I like competition.

When I became leader in the Republicans,
Pelosi became speaker.

What are you looking at me for to stop
me?

Stop him, Bill. Stop him. This is what I
want you to understand.

Four years later, we won the majority by
five seats. I picked up five more seats

in California and didn't have to redraw
the lines.

So it makes you have better candidates,
better message. You should have

competition. It's the way the founders
designed America.

Why are you calling President Trump and
telling him that?

I fought it the whole time. But for the
same point.

For the same point, why didn't we call
New Mexico when they did it? Why didn't

we do Illinois when they did it? Why
didn't we do in New York when they did

This has been going on by both parties
for a long time, but I've called it out.

That's true, and now they took it to
another level. Yeah, and it's going to

the country because there's less than 20
seats. Okay, can I get back to Texas

for a second?

Because we didn't talk about who he's
running against, Paxton.

Okay, so you have Attila the Hun on this
side.

Then we have this guy, James Tallarico.
We had him on the show recently.

I mean, he seemed like a nice guy. He
seems very reasonable.

They're spreading rumors that he's gay.

Or even worse, vegan.

In fact, vegan is worse.

No, I'm telling you.

He said he ran a vegan campaign.

What? He said what? He's on video
running a vegan campaign.

That doesn't play well in Texas. No, he
said some things that don't play well in

Texas, like God is non -binary.

He's taken that back. He said it was a
silly thing for him to say. It is a

thing to say because it just looks bad
on a poster or an ad.

Okay, but listen to this. So Stephen
Miller of the Trump administration,

there with Attila, he said the Democrats
made history by nominating their first

transgender Senate candidate. That he's
just pulling out. of his ass. Even if

they did, it should not be
disqualifying. I mean, Jewish for the

but not transgender.

Then the Democratic Twitter account
fired back, shut up, you ugly fuck.

This is the official Democratic Twitter
account.

And then Stephen Miller's wife fired
back at the woman who ran the Twitter

account and said, she's 30, unmarried,
no kids.

First of all, I love it that that's the
worst insult they can think of.

Everybody I know who's unmarried with no
kids, you know, that's good.

It's so ugly. And our politics, I mean,
listen, politics has always been dirty

to a degree, but it is so much uglier
now than it ever was. And there is one

person that opened the door to that. The
question is, how do we get it back? And

especially right now, I don't think
Americans, there might have been a time

where people were amused by that.

But they're paying $4 .50 for a gallon
of gas in most places, much more here in

Los Angeles, as everyone in the crowd
knows.

Much more here.

$6 .99. But how do we get out of that?

I think you have to look for somebody
that's going to help you rise above it.

mean, the Hungarian election that
happened just the other day, ousting

Orban. This guy came in, he went county
to county, sometimes multiple times, and

he told them that...

The leader is corrupt.

They are stealing from you. They're
taking money from you. They're making

life worse.

I'm going to bring this country back
together. And he had a more inspiring

message, not getting down into the mud
the way that a lot of Democrats have

doing with Donald Trump. I think it's
going to take somebody who comes in and

finds a way to bring us all together.

What about Matthew McConaughey?

I don't know. He makes good movies.

You knew you said that out loud. I know.
I've been thinking it. I thought that

maybe that was just your inner voice.
Hey, Matthew McConaughey.

All right.

I have to move on.

I had Spencer Pratt on my podcast the
other day. What did you think?

You know what? I know I'm supposed to
hate him. I don't.

He runs great ads.

Yeah, I mean, he's a nice guy.

What's charming about him is he has no
advisors.

I mean, I confronted him on, like, you
know, this and this you're going to have

to think about. No, I only care about
the issues I care about. So he's very

honest about that.

It's funny because he's running as a
Republican and doing quite well.

out here is like, what do you think of
Benson Pratt? He's on everybody's mind.

was asking him about that.

He's very un -Californian in that way
for a guy who's from California.

But then I found out he's actually very
Californian because he sells crystals.

He sells, I'm not kidding, he sells
healing crystals.

Yeah, I mean, things like this, which,
look, people have gifted me with these.

I should try them a little under the
weather this week. Maybe I'll go home

sit on it. I don't know how you...

But maybe they work like, this is real,
like clear courts. They say it's always

a little vague. Good for amplifying
energy and focusing intentions.

Amethyst promotes tranquility.

Citrine invites wealth.

Well, those aren't all of them. Would
you like to hear the, oh, I thought you

would. There's so many crystals. There
really are.

And here's what some of them will do.
You might want to get in on this. Like

Himalayan salt naturalizes the dark
energy in your home after your in -laws

watch Tucker Carlson.

That could be very valuable.

Sapphire clears mystical pathways that
allow you to recognize when your

girlfriend gets a haircut.

Oh, pink.

Pink calcite. That's good. Brings
alignment with forces that silence your

driver.

Oh, opal. Very good. Helps you stay
grounded when your chatbot starts

smoke up your ass.

Tiger's eye.

Absorbs negative thoughts to make shower
sex seem slightly less awkward and

disappointing.

This myth removes resonant blockages so
you can read the redacted names in the

Epstein file.

Lithium light quartz harmonizes all of
the natural world to make your dog shit

quickly when it's raining.

And Micah.

Harness his spiritual energy in a way
that keeps your Gwyneth Paltrow vagina

candle from starting a wildfire. All
right.

That's all right, because we could.

So, not to be picking on Donald Trump
all the time, but, you know, what can I

say? Even after 10 years, I must say, he
does things that you'd think after all

this time we would see coming, you know,
things that nobody ever did, but he

still thinks of them.

that a president could do that nobody
did as president, and one of them now is

suing the country that he is leading.

This was the big story this week, if you
don't know about it. Now, there was a

crime here. I mean, somebody leaked his
tax, not just his, by the way. They

leaked a lot of rich people's tax. And
this guy's gone to jail for five years.

Yeah, okay, not supposed to do that. But
a president suing his own government,

so he's the...

And then he settled.

He settled with himself.

A lot easier than settling with Iran,
apparently.

But he's both... He's

both, would we say, the suey and the
sewer.

No, we're living in the sewer.

I don't know.

But this... Okay, so anyway, he settled.
And now the money is going instead

of... what the lawsuit was. It was for
$10 billion.

He said, nope, we don't have to do that.

But the money is going to what they're
calling an anti -weaponization fund.

A judge has already stopped it, but
probably the Supreme Court will let it

through, which will go to the people he
thinks have been victims of

lawfare, would we call it?

So that means the January 6th people. It
means the January 6th people.

Now, not only did they get a pardon, Now
they're getting paid.

They're getting paid for attacking the
Capitol.

Is this the right incentivization, Kevin
McCarthy?

Okay, I believe this.

You can condemn the violence on January
6th and still believe some of these

defendants had excess persecution and
political treatment.

Because I do. I do both of those. They
don't automatically get any money. Give

me one example.

People who were put in solitary
confinement, not allowed to get out.

Look, there are people on January 6th
that I condemn that violence. But there

were some people that were caught up
just walking through.

But let me give you something else. How
do you go back to your government? Were

you there that day?

Were you still in Congress? Yeah, I was
escorted out. Okay, let me ask you this.

What if your government, say you are in
power, you control the presidency, you

control the Senate, the other party has
the House.

You have an individual that wants to go
after these people, so they go after the

speaker's cell phone. But they don't
tell the carrier who the person is. They

don't even tell the judge who the number
is, because when they get asked, they

say, we're afraid of the person leaving
the country, even though they have 24

hours surveillance.

You know who that person was? Me.

So on my own government, when after my
cell phone records, when I became

of the House, When I was the highest
-ranking Republican, never asked me for

them. I'd hand them to you, but I think
we had separation of powers.

What recourse does anybody have? I'm not
going to sue, but how do you make sure

that doesn't happen to somebody else? If
they would go after the Speaker of the

House, the second in line to the
President, they can go after anybody.

And if they can lie to the judge and
say, I can't tell you who the number is

because I'm afraid this person is going
to leave the country?

I think we're stretching that. Was this
in regards to investigating January 6th?

But they didn't get the information in
your conversations. It was just the

that were made between you and the White
House. No, they went for the whole

month. They never told me. They never
asked for it. But they didn't get the

content of the call, did they? But why
do they have the right to my number as

is? But weren't they investigating
Donald Trump and they were just trying

find out what he did on that day and the
sequence of events? Then why did they

ask for the whole month and why did they
wait to the...

the highest -ranking Republican, the
Speaker of the House, the second in line

the presidency, and you think, not even
asking him for it, but you lie to a

judge whose number it is, you lie to the
carrier who it is, and then when you

get asked about it, well, we had to lie
to you because we were afraid they would

leave the country.

That's a concern with all the power that
prosecutor has. But if the

administration wanted to say, okay, we
don't think that was fair, and we're

going to look into it. Or did they hide
it? How do we ever find it out? I'm

talking about this administration.

then why are they not saying, we want to
create this fund, but the January 6th

rioters, the ones who beat up cops, are
not allowed to apply for this? Why not

put a structure around it, guardrails
around it? I think you have three

questions here, okay? And why pardon all
of them, blanketly? Well, okay, the

president has a pardon right. I don't...

That's a difference of opinion.

Do you agree with it? No, I have a
difference of opinion of what happened

January 6th. But the first thing that
has to happen is, who is allowed to get

recourse from this?

Who makes that decision?

What type of money does it come from?
And does Congress authorize it? I think

that's the criteria. I think you're
bringing it to a different place. What

making this so...

insane for a lot of people, is that the
January 6th rioters are clearly who this

is intended for because the
administration keeps saying, of course

allowed to apply, we're going to
consider each case. They're not saying

like Patrick, or I'm sorry, David
Dempsey, who stomped on an officer's

went on an hour -long rampage, beating
up officers, using metal poles, pepper

spray, broken furniture to go after
cops.

Sentenced to 20 years in prison, Donald
Trump pardoned him.

And now we're going to pay him?

Nothing says. But nothing says. You're
in trouble. Nothing says we're going to

pay him. Nothing says we're going to pay
him.

Why is the administration not saying, of
course we're not going to pay this guy.

Of course we're not going to pay Andrew
Paul Johnson,

who was molesting children and telling
them. The president does not get to

decide who it is.

The president gets to dismiss any one of
these panelists if he so chooses.

So how does he not get to be the
ultimate decider?

You get a $10 billion lawsuit settling
here. I think the Senate is correct in

asking the criteria. It doesn't make
sense that they would not put any

guardrails around it.

They wouldn't say an independent panel.

They wouldn't say a judgment. No, it
doesn't make sense that Biden didn't

go after my cell phone numbers, went
after a number of Republican senators,

Didn't go after any Democrat.

And then didn't ask them. Didn't ask
them and didn't tell us. We had to find

after we took the majority. But let me
ask you a political question.

Yeah. Because I'm starting to get bored.

Does this kind of thing hurt him? I
mean, his approval rating is the lowest

ever. I feel like that's because the
people, even his people, sense there's

so much self -dealing.

So much stuff like, I mean, stock
trades.

Money managers for the president made
more than 3 ,700 trades in the first

quarter, including, for example, NVIDIA
on January 6th, coincidentally. A week

later, they cleared NVIDIA.

to sell chips to China, which we always
said was something we really shouldn't

do. You know, China, not exactly our
best friend.

I mean, stuff like that. Look, I never
traded one stock, individual stock, when

I was a member. I'm not talking about
you. I know, but I watch Nancy Pelosi do

quite well. I don't think any member
should trade stock, and I don't think

should be able to. Okay, I'm just
saying, something like this.

You know, I mean, I know Martha
Stewart's pissed.

The thing that hurts most is the price
of gas is going to determine a lot

going to happen in this election.

Where is the price of gas going to be?

Where is the economy at?

And people are going to have questions.
But that's rightfully so why the

Republicans in the Senate are asking the
questions they're asking.

I think 49 % of the population uses the
word corrupt around Donald Trump. I

think they see it.

They're not comfortable with it. Yeah.

I think they do. I think they see that
there's always a side deal. There's

always something for the family. It
looks like he has this idea in his head,

like, I'm doing this job. I could be
just relaxing in Mar -a -Lago, but I'm

doing this job.

I've got to wet my beak a little.

It's not a little.

No, it's not a little. He's pouring the
whole swamp on his head. Well, in his

mind, maybe.

How does the Republican Party run
against that?

They're not doing well right now in the
polls. I know Democrats aren't doing

well either, but the Democrats will have
the opportunity to say, Donald Trump is

self -dealing, look at these stock
trades.

They'll have the opportunity to say
that... I want to see Nancy Pelosi make

argument. I would love to see her.

Nancy Pelosi is not the leader. Yes, she
is. Not the leader. She still tells

Democrats.

Really? Yeah.

You ever been to the floor and watched?

I don't think Hakeem needs anything. So
the Republicans are going to continue to

run against Nancy Pelosi. That's the
strategy.

No. I look forward to Nancy deciding.

I don't know where the majority go.

All right.

I have one final issue I want to get to.
The Pope.

Whenever me and the Pope agree on
something, I feel like there's something

the planets going on. I don't know what
it is.

But, I mean, I've been all over this AI
thing. I said a few weeks ago, a month,

I don't know when it was, but I said,
like, of all the issues I've ever

this is the one I find literally the
most alarming.

When the father of AI, Jeffrey Hinton,
says it is a 10 % to 20 % possibility of

an extinction event, an extinction
event, and the Pope is on my page. The

put out an encyclical.

And artificial intelligence needs to be
disarmed, he said.

Also, I thought really interesting, the
commencement addresses are going on in

colleges right now around the country.
And people got some rude awakenings who

were doing the speaking because they
thought, oh, the kids, kids love new

I'll bring up AI.

Boo!

The kids are booing AI.

The kids don't like it. They get it that
they're going to take all their jobs.

Yeah.

Listen, you have all these tech CEOs,
these AI CEOs coming out and saying 20 %

of the jobs are going to be gone. This
is going to change everything. You're

going to need workers.

Well, how do you expect the population
to confront that and to accept it? Also,

we can end the world. Okay, great. Let's
keep going.

What is the plan? You're right. Dario
Amodi, he's the CEO of Anthropic.

Unemployment, he says, could spike to 10
% to 20%. That's what it was in the

Depression, 20%. Ford, CEO, said AI will
leave a lot of white

-collar people behind.

Could replace half of all white -collar
workers.

I mean, and what is the plan? I don't
get it. It's like, oh, well, no one will

work anymore, so we'll give them a
universal basic income.

With what? If they don't work, that
money has to come from the government.

How are they going to get it to the
government if the people aren't paying

taxes? I think Kevin will agree with
this. I think people want, it's not even

just a universal basic income in a way
that doesn't make sense. People want a

purpose. They don't want to sit around
and do nothing. They want to do

with their lives. They want to feel like
they're useful. This is literally an

industrial revolution.

A lot of them don't. No, I think they
do. I think that's cynical.

Well, there's 7 million young men who
are not unemployed.

They're not working.

But unemployed is you want to work and
you can't find a job.

7 million people who are just what they
call nilf, not in the labor force, not

working, not looking.

So not all of them think this is a bad
thing.

But we're living through an industrial
revolution that's going to be faster

we watched before.

Our policies are not keeping up with it.
This is going to be a real challenge.

For all the fear you have of AI, there's
also positive things that can happen

too. So I think what you really need,
you need the policymakers to get ahead

this, create a formation that you still
allow AI to grow here in America, but at

the same protections at the time. But
there is going to be disruption, and you

ought to acknowledge it and find the
policies ahead of time to get ahead of

We'll have to leave it there.

Time for new rules, everybody.

No.

Okay.

All right. Now that Spirit Airlines is
no longer with us, Allegiant Airlines,

Frontier Airlines, and JetBlue must all
participate in a new reality competition

called America's Next Top Terrible
Airline.

Where the pilots say, I'm not here to
make connections.

That's right, America's next top
terrible airline. Flight attendants,

the cabin for sucking.

New World, the makers of this $10 ,000
toilet have to tell us what's happening

in this picture.

I get that this smart toilet represents
Kohler's commitment to blending artistry

with innovation, offering homeowners a
contemporary aesthetic that complements

diverse styles and elevates everyday
spaces.

But why outside?

Other than that, you totally have me. I
mean, my God, it seamlessly fuses

sculptural beauty with effortless
functionality.

to embody a work of art made to empower
self -expression and elevate the

bathroom experience.

Plus, you can shit in it.

No,

well, before visiting the New Jersey
doctor who claims he can increase the

of your penis by injecting it with
filler made from the belly fat of dead

people,

Consider that you might be creating an
even bigger problem.

Sure, you have a little more self
-confidence, but now your dick is

New World, the OnlyFans models who are
upset at Sidney Sweetie's portrayal of

one of them on Euphoria must be honest
about why they're upset. It isn't

she's inaccurately portraying.

the OnlyFans industry, or mocking the
women who do it, or setting back the

of sexual liberation.

It's because she's doing the same thing
you do with better tits.

Someone has to tell the woman who's
racked up over one million views with

video of a mysterious creature lurking
in her back alley, that's a tree.

I thought I smoked a lot of weed.

All right, and finally, new rule.

The next time the Democrats need an
autopsy, they have to hire an actual

because he or she couldn't do worse than
the gutless stiffs they have doing it

now. You probably heard the party
released their autopsy on the November

loss last week in May of 2026.

Because the Democrats are like Don
Corleone. They insist on hearing bad

immediately.

Oh, nobody remembers the movie, huh?

What a shame.

You ought to check it out. It's very
good.

Well, I've spent a good part of my life
trying to get straight answers out of

politicians.

And I got to tell you, while they're in
office, you kind of have to trick them.

This statement from the administration,
the president had the constitutional

authority to direct the use of military
force because he could reasonably

determine that such use of force was in
the national interest. That's too vague

for you?

Totally vague.

Okay, because that's from Obama.

And he's one of the good ones.

But you know when politicians get super
honest when they're retiring, or even

better, dying?

And especially when they're dying
politically.

If you're at 4 % in the polls, oh,
goodbye bullshit, hello Bullworth.

Make you talk? We can't get you to shut
up then.

I see it here all the time.

Politicians who are intransigent
partisans or lackey water carriers, and

they're out of office, and it's read my
book where I say all the things I should

have said but didn't during my 500 years
in office.

Recently, the press has gotten very
excited about some Republican senators

who've had just about enough of Trump
shenanigan.

Yeah, because they're retiring.

Like Senator Tom Tillis. Ooh, Tom's mad.

Tom is mad these days. As we were
previously discussing, the January 6th

are now going to get paid for
participating in the lucrative new field

insurrecting.

And Tom Tillis is all over the news now
saying this is stupid on stilts.

Suddenly Tom doesn't give a damn what
anyone thinks. You can tell by his tie.

Same with Senator Bill Cassidy, who lost
his primary, so now he found the

courage to say the words slush fund.

And Mitch McConnell, who coincidentally
also has nothing to lose, goes even

further and says it's a slush fund to
pay people who assault cops, and that

utterly stupid and morally wrong.

And for once, he means in a bad way.

And that's progress, I guess. I just
wish he talked that way when he was

These guys are all

the same. They're like the serial killer
who's about to get the chair, so he

figures, what the hell, I might as well
tell the cops about the other 20 girls I

buried in the woods.

Republican Lee Atwater and Democrat
George Wallace.

were both lifelong racists who somehow
found the courage late in life to

renounce those beliefs.

And when I say late in life, I mean
after they got shot and after they

a diagnosis of inoperable brain cancer.

Two -term President General Dwight
Eisenhower delivered one of the most

important messages a president has ever
uttered when he said we should beware

the military -industrial complex.

He said it forcibly. He said it clearly.

And he said it three days before he left
office.

He's the guy who yelled, fuck you, as
the elevator door closed.

You know, maybe instead of asking what
would Jesus do, people should ask, what

would I do if I were in hospice?

A frequent guest of this show, who I
always called my favorite congressman,

in hospice recently.

Barney Frank died this month. But on the
way out, he said, I want to use my

unfortunate situation to say something
that I think is very important.

He said the key to liberal democracy
being able to come back is to get rid of

the perception.

that we have allowed to grow, that the
entire Democratic Party is committed to

series of very drastic social
reconstructions that go beyond the

acceptable. And there, in one sentence,
is the autopsy the Democrats have been

so desperately searching for.

From a guy who delivered it right before
he needed one himself.

It sounds a lot like what Obama said
after he left office.

The average American doesn't think we
have to completely tear down the system

and remake it. They just don't want to
see crazy stuff.

Is this really so hard a message for
Democrats to say?

There's a Democrat who's running for
governor here in California now who's

saying it, San Jose Mayor Matt Mahan.

Yeah, because he's at 4 % in the polls.

Everybody has been calling me lately
saying, you've got to have this guy on.

He's the sensible Democrat we've been
looking for. To which I tell them, one,

this is a national show. It's not all
about you and your life in California.

Two, how did you get this number?

And three, what's his plan to get the
leaf blowers to shut the fuck up in the

morning?

But also, you're right. He does sound
sensible.

Because he's at 4%. That's when
everybody's brave. If he got to 40%,

still be saying, as he does say, we need
Democratic leaders in California who

are willing to say no to their friends.

Hmm. That would be the unions, the
bureaucrats, the lawyers, the

the regulators, and all the special
interest friends who make living in this

state such a frustrating, maddening
experience.

It's why the railroads don't get built,
the potholes don't get filled, the

homeless don't get housed, the kids
don't learn.

Did you know that a black fourth grader
in Mississippi is two and a half times

as likely?

To be proficient in math and reading as
one in California?

Mississippi is kicking our ass in
education.

And for way less money.

We're 37th in fourth grade reading.
They're 9th.

Texas is kicking our ass in green
energy.

The average time to get solar panels
connected there is three to four months.

About a thousand days faster than it
took me. Remember when I was trying to

my solar hooked up?

It would have been quicker to build a
windmill.

So Texas has passed California in solar
and blows away California when it comes

to wind and energy storage.

How does a state with no pro -climate
policies produce better climate results

than a state where here, even though we
have so much better stickers on our

bumper priuses.

Bumper stickers on our priuses. You know
what I'm saying.

I'll tell you why. Because you're
allowed to build there. Because every

person in Texas isn't someone whose job
it is to make sure nothing gets done.

Democrats, these are your issues.

Education, race, the environment. And I
say this with love. You're losing to the

Waffle House car on the lawn states.

All right. That's our show.

I want to thank my guests.

Homer speaker Kevin McCroskey, Katie
Church, and Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Club Random drops every Monday on
YouTube, or listen wherever you get your

podcasts. Don't go watch overtime on
YouTube.

And I thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you very much.