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1
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Boss?
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00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:27,860
Sir?
3
00:00:28,180 --> 00:00:29,340
There's trouble on Earth.
4
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,380
So what else is new?
5
00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:33,520
But this time we might be able to help.
6
00:00:33,740 --> 00:00:34,540
Take a look.
7
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,020
See that couple down there?
8
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:37,480
Oh yes.
9
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:38,960
Nice people.
10
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,620
Let's send an angel to help.
11
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,680
But sir, the only one available is
Gabriel.
12
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:47,780
And you took his wings away after the
messy course last time.
13
00:00:48,180 --> 00:00:51,740
Well, send him down and maybe he'll earn
his wings back.
14
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:54,280
But you know what kind of chaos here
cause.
15
00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:57,660
Solving this kind of problem is never
easy.
16
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,220
You know what they say.
17
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:05,000
If you want to make an omelet,
you have to crack some eggs.
18
00:01:34,810 --> 00:01:37,010
This is the story of a couple.
19
00:01:37,090 --> 00:01:39,430
Bill Andrews and Carol Griffiths.
20
00:01:39,450 --> 00:01:42,790
Who have come to family court,
like so many other couples today,
21
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:47,050
to settle their problems in a mature and
peaceful fashion.
22
00:01:48,950 --> 00:01:52,880
I hate him!
23
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,640
You stupid, lying bitch!
24
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:07,680
Shut
25
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:12,560
up!
26
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,420
This is enough!
27
00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:13,980
Clear the court!
28
00:02:14,140 --> 00:02:14,460
Let's go!
29
00:02:14,980 --> 00:02:15,780
Let's go!
30
00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:16,360
Carol!
31
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:16,860
Carol!
32
00:02:16,940 --> 00:02:17,160
Hey!
33
00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:17,460
Hey!
34
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:17,680
Hey!
35
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:22,080
Now I can understand the explosive nature
of a palimony case.
36
00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:26,900
I mean, when a couple has lived together
for three years, as so as you,
37
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,340
Bill Andrews, and you, Carol Griffiths,
have, and have not gotten married,
38
00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:36,900
dividing the property in a just and
equitable manner can be quite difficult.
39
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,800
So you decide to sue each other.
40
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,960
Not for alimony, but for palimony.
41
00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:45,060
Yes, palimony.
42
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,900
It's a word these days that is found on
everybody's lips.
43
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,940
Look at her, so smug.
44
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,280
What did I ever see in that witch?
45
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:03,180
How could I ever have loved that monster?
46
00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:08,740
That bitch!
47
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,140
That turd!
48
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:20,040
In view of the turmoil that this case is
causing, and the new legal territories
49
00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:22,674
which must be explored,
I would like to meet
50
00:03:22,675 --> 00:03:25,641
with the complainants
privately, in my chambers.
51
00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:27,340
This court is a joint.
52
00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:35,523
Mr. Andrews and Miss
Griffiths, would you mind if a
53
00:03:35,524 --> 00:03:38,150
couple of my associates
sat in on our little talk?
54
00:03:39,870 --> 00:03:43,030
I'd like to meet a couple of people that
have the same problems you have.
55
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:49,010
This is Cindy, and this is Thud.
56
00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:53,470
Cindy, Thud, you know Bill and Carol?
57
00:03:53,690 --> 00:03:54,310
Do you like them?
58
00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:55,310
I think she's pretty.
59
00:03:55,311 --> 00:03:57,050
Can I go back in my drawer now?
60
00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:58,290
Thud!
61
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:01,550
Wouldn't you mind telling us a little
about yourselves?
62
00:04:01,910 --> 00:04:03,430
Oh God, not this again!
63
00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:08,190
I'm an associate with the legal firm of
Crum & Scrum.
64
00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:12,532
I received my master's
in psychology, and I
65
00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:16,330
coordinate the firm's
dealings in investment banking.
66
00:04:17,850 --> 00:04:18,850
Hey, Carol?
67
00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:19,510
Hmm?
68
00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:21,030
Nice tits.
69
00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:21,870
Mmm.
70
00:04:22,270 --> 00:04:23,750
I have a fine job.
71
00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:25,290
With a great deal of respect.
72
00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:26,691
And a great deal of responsibility.
73
00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:29,230
Besides being an inventor...
74
00:04:29,231 --> 00:04:34,130
...of several patented techniques to make
chickens lay more eggs, I'm a highly
75
00:04:34,131 --> 00:04:37,290
respected expert at the delicate task of
egg handling.
76
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:41,310
Oh, baby, don't look!
77
00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:43,650
Andrews!
78
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,730
You are a shithead!
79
00:04:45,731 --> 00:04:53,220
I remember perfectly how Carol and I met.
80
00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:54,900
It was on a Tuesday.
81
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:58,460
It was a Thursday, Bill.
82
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,593
I got a call to deliver
a truckload of fryer
83
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:05,581
chickens to the law
firm where she works.
84
00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:06,640
Crum & Scum?
85
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:10,460
Crum & Scrum.
86
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:16,293
I have an order here for
20 fryer chickens to be
87
00:05:16,294 --> 00:05:19,701
delivered by noon today
to Crum & Scrum attorneys.
88
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,800
I don't care what your order said.
89
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,360
I ordered fried chicken, not live chicken.
90
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,963
Now, I have 30 people
coming today for a board
91
00:05:26,964 --> 00:05:28,800
of directors meeting
that I have to feed.
92
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,260
Now, just get them out.
93
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:33,920
Look, lady, I'll be glad to take them with
me, but this is a COD.
94
00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:35,260
I can't leave without the money.
95
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:39,700
So if you'll give me $72.37 and just sign
here, we'll all be on our way, all right?
96
00:05:39,701 --> 00:05:41,940
I don't even know what fryer chickens are.
97
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:44,820
Now, just get them out before they make a
mess.
98
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,960
Oh, look, it's starting to make.
99
00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:51,220
Look, lady, that's what chickens do.
100
00:05:51,221 --> 00:05:52,221
Woo!
101
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,720
Woo!
102
00:06:44,140 --> 00:06:47,720
So sweet talkin' girl, come along.
103
00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:51,740
Singin' a song, oh, don't mess around.
104
00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:54,460
You just got to be strong and stop.
105
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,440
Cause I really love you.
106
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,140
Stop.
107
00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:01,200
I've been thinkin' of you.
108
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,700
Look in my heart and let love keep us
together.
109
00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:23,580
You, you belong to me now, ain't gonna set
you free now, where those girls are
110
00:07:23,581 --> 00:07:30,140
hanging around, talking me down,
here with your heart and you won't hear a
111
00:07:30,141 --> 00:07:37,980
sound, just stop, cause I really love you,
stop, I've been thinking of you,
112
00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:42,120
look in my heart and let love keep us
together.
113
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:05,290
We didn't care about getting married,
because...
114
00:08:05,291 --> 00:08:09,270
We really thought we loved each other,
so... We decided to move in together, and...
115
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:11,390
Boy, did we make a mistake.
116
00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:12,810
Bill!
117
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:14,310
Carol!
118
00:08:17,770 --> 00:08:23,130
Palimony is a concept that lawyers have
dreamt up when business is slow.
119
00:08:23,810 --> 00:08:27,010
I mean, I've been around a long time,
and this is a problem of relationships.
120
00:08:27,730 --> 00:08:29,770
What do you call it, palimony or
separation?
121
00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:34,450
Or divorce, or separation, and palimony,
and divorce, or, it's all the same thing.
122
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:41,030
Your problems are the same problems that
have faced us since the dawn of time.
123
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:46,110
Surely the cave woman must have suffered
at the hands of a lust-hungry caveman.
124
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:53,430
I mean, her supple frame abused,
her melon-heavy breast heaving in sensuous
125
00:08:53,431 --> 00:09:00,950
delight, her lust-hardened nipples like
two fine red bullets, twisted and bitten,
126
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:07,510
and making hot monkey love in the steaming
swamps, and all the animals watching,
127
00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:13,290
the tiny little possum, and the beaver,
and the little ducks, and all the friends
128
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:16,430
of Mr. Goat, and them chickens were
just...
129
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,510
You get the general idea.
130
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:27,310
I mean, try to imagine what it was like.
131
00:09:42,990 --> 00:09:44,510
This was the time.
132
00:09:44,530 --> 00:09:48,830
This was the time when man distinguished
himself from the animals by walking erect.
133
00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:54,090
Hey, Joe, Harry, Melvin, incredible.
134
00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:55,710
Take a look at this thing.
135
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:58,830
How, how did that happen?
136
00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:01,710
Caveman quickly learned to take matters in
hand.
137
00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:04,750
I'm having a little get-together on
Friday, and you must attend.
138
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:05,570
Sure, Rob.
139
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,730
We're going to have pterodactyl burgers,
the worst.
140
00:10:07,870 --> 00:10:08,210
Great.
141
00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:08,990
Who are you tagging?
142
00:10:08,991 --> 00:10:11,031
The same guy I saw you with at the tribal
sacrifice?
143
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:12,270
No, Tyrannosaurus, right?
144
00:10:12,530 --> 00:10:13,830
Oh, is he an australopithecus?
145
00:10:13,910 --> 00:10:14,290
Oh, no, no.
146
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,350
Pig King, my friend.
147
00:10:15,370 --> 00:10:15,830
Oh, Pig King.
148
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,566
I dated one when I first came out of the
cave.
149
00:10:17,590 --> 00:10:18,350
Well, he ruined me.
150
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:23,450
As man became more civilized, he
recognized that his woman also had needs,
151
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:26,650
and finally gave her the satisfaction she
craved.
152
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:28,330
Do it to me!
153
00:10:28,450 --> 00:10:29,670
Do it to me!
154
00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:39,830
This kind of cooperation led to great
inventions, such as the wheel.
155
00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:42,490
Macho!
156
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:43,230
Macho!
157
00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:43,890
Hold on!
158
00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:44,990
Hold on!
159
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:47,890
Hold on!
160
00:11:01,270 --> 00:11:04,730
The wheel by itself proved to be a hard
nut to crack.
161
00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:09,970
So to prevent further mishap, they
connected the wheel to an axle.
162
00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:11,950
Yow!
163
00:11:11,951 --> 00:11:12,550
Yow!
164
00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:13,710
Yow!
165
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:22,840
What the wing?
166
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,490
What the wing?
167
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:41,560
And
168
00:12:07,170 --> 00:12:09,430
then they invented fire!
169
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:15,130
Oh, your honor, you're such a romantic.
170
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:19,510
But, our relationship is beyond
relationship.
171
00:12:19,511 --> 00:12:19,930
Repair?
172
00:12:20,050 --> 00:12:22,470
You mean to tell me that there were no
good times?
173
00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:25,910
Well, maybe when we first shared a house
together.
174
00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:29,270
I couldn't keep my hands off her.
175
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:33,190
I will, I will, I will, I will
176
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:59,020
Then stop, cause I really love you Stop,
I'm thinking of you My
177
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,100
mind is on fire
178
00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:28,780
Can you guess my plan?
179
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,910
Don't you lose
180
00:13:56,930 --> 00:14:10,370
control Pop and rock my soul It's not up
to you This is what I wanna do I
181
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:40,860
can scream, I'm alive I might be shot,
cause I'm hot You can see just what I've
182
00:14:40,861 --> 00:14:42,759
got For you it's all here Don't
you try and stop me when
183
00:14:42,760 --> 00:15:06,620
the heat is on Don't you try
and stop me when So what
184
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,800
happened after that?
185
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,920
My wife taught me how to do this.
186
00:16:48,660 --> 00:16:51,560
All he ever did was work on those stupid
inventions of his.
187
00:16:51,780 --> 00:16:53,860
Oh, I got news for you, sweetheart.
188
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,820
I was working so hard for you.
189
00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:59,840
If those inventions had ever made it,
we'd have made a million bucks.
190
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:03,260
Oh, Bill, you were working for yourself.
191
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:05,480
And your precious mother.
192
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,620
Oh, get off my back about my mother.
193
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,320
What has she ever done to you?
194
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:10,120
Why?
195
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,140
What she's done to me.
196
00:17:11,141 --> 00:17:12,181
I can't hear the pleasure.
197
00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:14,560
It's that you never stood up to her.
198
00:17:14,561 --> 00:17:17,900
Well, at least my mother knows how to
treat a man.
199
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,160
And you'll never be half the man your
mother is.
200
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:25,460
I feel so humiliated.
201
00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:27,920
Bill, do I really have to?
202
00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:29,780
Please, Carol.
203
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:35,040
Bill was so terrified of his mother that
he made me dress up like a Spanish maid
204
00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:38,440
when she came to visit so she wouldn't
know we were living together.
205
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:39,940
Just this once.
206
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:48,510
All right, Mrs. Andrews.
207
00:17:48,590 --> 00:17:49,590
Hello, Billy.
208
00:17:49,910 --> 00:17:50,350
Hi, Mom.
209
00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:53,450
You can take your orders directly from me
now.
210
00:17:54,050 --> 00:17:55,050
When's dinner?
211
00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:56,090
I'm hungry.
212
00:17:56,370 --> 00:17:58,270
Get those bags in here.
213
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,430
Why don't you just tell her we're living
together?
214
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:04,650
It would kill her.
215
00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:04,990
Billy.
216
00:18:05,490 --> 00:18:06,830
She's so frail.
217
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:08,270
Oh,
218
00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:14,770
the place looks so much better now that
you got the maid.
219
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,390
You must be doing well.
220
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:20,790
Oh, by the way, I know
this will come as a great
221
00:18:20,791 --> 00:18:24,930
disappointment, but I can
only stay three weeks this time.
222
00:18:26,530 --> 00:18:27,650
Uh, yes.
223
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:29,910
Uh, Mom?
224
00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:32,850
There's a...
225
00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:35,030
There's something I want to tell you.
226
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,450
Uh, do you speak English?
227
00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:42,150
You should, sir, from the left.
228
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,240
Could you ask the maid for some milk?
229
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,560
Uh, uh... Carmelita!
230
00:18:57,510 --> 00:19:00,710
Could we have some milk for my mother?
231
00:19:01,730 --> 00:19:02,730
Milk.
232
00:19:04,850 --> 00:19:07,130
Oh, el milko.
233
00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:09,290
And warm it up.
234
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:10,910
Par favor.
235
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:16,190
I want to show you my tombstone.
236
00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:19,170
I've got a few samples right here.
237
00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:20,730
Oh.
238
00:19:21,930 --> 00:19:23,370
Here's my favorite.
239
00:19:23,550 --> 00:19:24,170
Mommy.
240
00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:27,510
You don't think the color's too loud,
do you?
241
00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:28,070
Uh-huh.
242
00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:29,710
I need an epitaph.
243
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:39,290
Something short, like, Louise Andrews died
without grandchildren.
244
00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:42,530
Mother, listen to me.
245
00:19:44,790 --> 00:19:47,590
Carmelita is not the maid.
246
00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:52,450
Her name is Carol, and she lives with me.
247
00:19:52,610 --> 00:19:54,790
And we're not getting married.
248
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:56,030
Oh!
249
00:19:56,410 --> 00:19:58,330
Oh, the palpitations!
250
00:19:58,470 --> 00:19:58,950
Oh!
251
00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:00,650
Oh, my heart!
252
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:02,510
Oh, living with a sermon!
253
00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:03,010
Oh!
254
00:20:03,350 --> 00:20:04,350
She's pregnant!
255
00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:05,850
That's it, isn't it?
256
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:06,070
Oh!
257
00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:07,130
She must be pregnant.
258
00:20:07,370 --> 00:20:08,890
No, that's not it.
259
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:11,570
And this will calm those palpitations.
260
00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:12,550
No!
261
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:13,950
Help!
262
00:20:14,590 --> 00:20:15,190
Carol!
263
00:20:15,191 --> 00:20:16,191
Help!
264
00:20:17,030 --> 00:20:18,450
That showed her.
265
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:21,610
After that, she only stayed for two weeks.
266
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:25,399
The way you talk,
you'd think you were the
267
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,330
first man and woman
on the face of this earth.
268
00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:31,730
Wouldn't it shock you to know that Adam
and Eve had the same problems you had?
269
00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:34,310
And they didn't even have contour sheets.
270
00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:42,400
Eve really got Adam into trouble.
271
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,180
And it all began when they met at that
singles bar.
272
00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:45,900
Oh, yeah.
273
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:46,300
Oh!
274
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:46,820
Oh!
275
00:20:47,020 --> 00:20:47,500
Oh!
276
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:51,120
Once, if Eve came along, that singles bar
was no garden of Eden.
277
00:20:51,420 --> 00:20:52,640
It was a real zoo.
278
00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:59,800
And if you're human, it's pretty tough to
get laid in a zoo.
279
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,120
No paintwork!
280
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:05,640
I know that, 2019, a toda!
281
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,220
Stayungkin Stay Nurse
282
00:21:12,620 --> 00:21:21,600
Stay away Stay away Stay away Stay away
Buy you a drink?
283
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,300
Beat it, shorty.
284
00:21:26,301 --> 00:21:27,620
She's with me.
285
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:28,920
Yes, sir.
286
00:21:33,140 --> 00:21:36,080
Come with me to the cuspa, baby.
287
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:52,390
So lonely here.
288
00:21:53,190 --> 00:21:54,830
I'm such a miserable creature.
289
00:21:56,090 --> 00:21:59,410
Look at the winged fowl and the things
that creepeth upon the earth.
290
00:21:59,810 --> 00:22:02,810
Having a party, making all that noise.
291
00:22:03,630 --> 00:22:05,850
If only God would make me a mate.
292
00:22:06,550 --> 00:22:07,710
Something soft.
293
00:22:08,710 --> 00:22:09,870
Something warm.
294
00:22:10,990 --> 00:22:13,310
Something more in my own image.
295
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:15,130
Something in your own image?
296
00:22:15,310 --> 00:22:17,910
But warmer, softer, rounder.
297
00:22:17,950 --> 00:22:18,950
You got it.
298
00:22:23,330 --> 00:22:25,410
Not bad, on such short notice.
299
00:22:25,770 --> 00:22:27,490
I think I'll call it woman.
300
00:22:29,010 --> 00:22:30,690
I think you missed the point.
301
00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:32,210
You prefer blond?
302
00:22:32,970 --> 00:22:33,970
Fine.
303
00:22:37,130 --> 00:22:38,130
A mate!
304
00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:40,990
God has given me a mate!
305
00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:45,010
My name's Adam, the creature that walketh.
306
00:22:45,350 --> 00:22:46,350
I'm Eve.
307
00:22:46,470 --> 00:22:48,470
What do you say we blow this joint?
308
00:22:48,870 --> 00:22:49,870
I guess.
309
00:22:49,950 --> 00:22:51,890
People in here are such animals,
anyway.
310
00:22:54,990 --> 00:22:57,590
Adam, go forth with Eve.
311
00:22:57,850 --> 00:23:00,230
Be fruitful and multiply.
312
00:23:01,350 --> 00:23:03,110
Is this fruitful enough?
313
00:23:03,810 --> 00:23:04,530
I don't know.
314
00:23:04,830 --> 00:23:07,230
How much is eleven times a pig?
315
00:23:08,150 --> 00:23:09,150
Wrong.
316
00:23:09,830 --> 00:23:12,710
You are to fill the earth with people.
317
00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:18,890
Look, if you're confused, follow the
example of the rabbits.
318
00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:22,590
The best.
319
00:23:23,130 --> 00:23:24,130
The best.
320
00:23:25,510 --> 00:23:26,510
I'm the best.
321
00:23:28,790 --> 00:23:29,790
I'm going.
322
00:23:30,030 --> 00:23:31,030
I'm going.
323
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,280
So,
324
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,580
do you smoke after sex?
325
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,560
Gee, I don't know.
326
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,000
I never looked.
327
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,720
Hello, Stella?
328
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,760
Hold all my calls, I can't be interrupted.
329
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:55,340
What do you mean nobody called?
330
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,420
Well, if you can't hold my calls,
hold my balls.
331
00:23:57,421 --> 00:23:58,421
Everybody else does.
332
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:00,716
Where are you going with that?
333
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,740
You told me to file these briefs.
334
00:24:02,780 --> 00:24:03,500
What do you want?
335
00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:06,920
We're taking this suit to a higher court.
336
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,040
Everybody's a comedian around here.
337
00:24:11,460 --> 00:24:14,240
I'm looking for Judge Floodwater.
338
00:24:14,660 --> 00:24:16,640
You want small claims court.
339
00:24:16,740 --> 00:24:17,740
He's three doors down.
340
00:24:17,820 --> 00:24:18,820
Sorry.
341
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,180
What about your social life?
342
00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:24,940
Well, we didn't like to party much.
343
00:24:24,941 --> 00:24:27,680
We preferred to stay in our quiet little
neighborhood...
344
00:24:27,681 --> 00:24:29,220
and have philosophical discussions.
345
00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:33,140
Like, for instance, the social
significance of the 1960s.
346
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:36,880
Wow.
347
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,140
Look at my hand.
348
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,720
People were so aware.
349
00:24:43,140 --> 00:24:44,520
People were so free.
350
00:24:46,380 --> 00:24:47,980
Dope was so cheap.
351
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:51,740
Oh, are you dry yet?
352
00:24:51,940 --> 00:24:52,380
Yeah.
353
00:24:52,620 --> 00:24:53,620
Lay down.
354
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,880
I just want to try something
here with... a little bit of...
355
00:25:00,140 --> 00:25:02,340
everything... we have got.
356
00:25:02,900 --> 00:25:04,740
No pastels.
357
00:25:05,060 --> 00:25:06,060
Oh, baby.
358
00:25:06,260 --> 00:25:09,260
This is gonna be the best damn body
painting...
359
00:25:09,460 --> 00:25:11,520
I have ever done in my life.
360
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:16,000
And I... I know that this
will work like nothing.
361
00:25:16,100 --> 00:25:16,820
Nothing.
362
00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:17,340
Look at him.
363
00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:21,210
It's perfect.
364
00:25:21,590 --> 00:25:29,910
This is art.
365
00:25:30,090 --> 00:25:31,090
Ah!
366
00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:32,650
Oh, God.
367
00:25:33,750 --> 00:25:35,190
Oh, hold me.
368
00:25:35,470 --> 00:25:37,910
Oh, I feel so close to you.
369
00:25:38,050 --> 00:25:38,230
Oh.
370
00:25:38,490 --> 00:25:43,530
If we squeeze hard enough, we can fuse our
bodies together into one.
371
00:25:43,950 --> 00:25:44,510
Yes.
372
00:25:44,790 --> 00:25:45,790
Oh.
373
00:25:46,290 --> 00:25:47,710
Oh, this is great.
374
00:25:48,290 --> 00:25:50,230
Why did they ever stop body painting?
375
00:25:50,350 --> 00:25:51,350
I don't know.
376
00:25:52,790 --> 00:25:54,130
Nixon, I think.
377
00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:00,990
Why does it always have to happen?
378
00:26:01,510 --> 00:26:02,510
Oh!
379
00:26:04,350 --> 00:26:06,890
Carol, will you cut it out?
380
00:26:06,970 --> 00:26:07,970
What?
381
00:26:08,130 --> 00:26:09,130
No!
382
00:26:10,490 --> 00:26:11,490
Oh.
383
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:16,280
Super glue.
384
00:26:17,570 --> 00:26:18,730
Oh, shit.
385
00:26:19,410 --> 00:26:20,250
We gotta get up.
386
00:26:20,251 --> 00:26:20,390
Ready?
387
00:26:20,490 --> 00:26:21,490
One.
388
00:26:21,970 --> 00:26:24,290
Don't let... One, two...
389
00:26:24,890 --> 00:26:25,890
No!
390
00:26:26,030 --> 00:26:27,030
Oh.
391
00:26:28,170 --> 00:26:29,410
Are you all right?
392
00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:30,630
Yeah.
393
00:26:31,510 --> 00:26:33,550
And I simply adore this neighborhood.
394
00:26:33,970 --> 00:26:37,730
It is so lovely and the people are lovely
and you'll fit right in.
395
00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:39,350
And it is so quiet.
396
00:26:41,610 --> 00:26:41,970
Oh!
397
00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:43,490
Oh!
398
00:26:43,910 --> 00:26:44,910
Oh.
399
00:26:46,270 --> 00:26:47,630
Well, look.
400
00:26:47,850 --> 00:26:50,730
If we'd have gone to the garage and gotten
a turpentine like I suggested,
401
00:26:50,910 --> 00:26:51,926
none of this would have happened.
402
00:26:51,950 --> 00:26:53,910
Oh, perfect time for you to go to the
bathroom.
403
00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:55,830
Well, I told you I was reaching for the
John.
404
00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:56,990
Oh, blame it on me!
405
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:58,950
Shh!
406
00:27:00,730 --> 00:27:01,730
Just act natural.
407
00:27:01,910 --> 00:27:02,910
Right.
408
00:27:03,690 --> 00:27:04,410
How do?
409
00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:05,690
Hi.
410
00:27:08,730 --> 00:27:09,490
Come on, Carol.
411
00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:12,230
It's only another two and a half miles to
the hospital.
412
00:27:12,370 --> 00:27:13,370
Hang in.
413
00:27:13,430 --> 00:27:14,590
Look, Mabel.
414
00:27:14,690 --> 00:27:17,530
She uses the same brand tampon that you
do.
415
00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:23,030
Then, remember at the hospital when the
nurse asked us if we wanted to split up?
416
00:27:34,180 --> 00:27:35,180
Damon!
417
00:27:36,460 --> 00:27:38,000
I don't think we can hold them off.
418
00:27:38,140 --> 00:27:39,140
Damon!
419
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,400
Sorry.
420
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,200
Old war wound.
421
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:44,720
Korea.
422
00:27:44,900 --> 00:27:45,900
You're in Korea?
423
00:27:46,420 --> 00:27:46,820
Yeah.
424
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,180
I bought this suit there.
425
00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:48,680
Like it?
426
00:27:48,980 --> 00:27:50,860
See, I've met this Korean bimbo.
427
00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:52,640
But you don't want to hear about that.
428
00:27:52,940 --> 00:27:54,220
I got this rash here.
429
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,960
Do you know anything about rashes,
Carol?
430
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,920
Your Honor, I think we're here to talk
about us.
431
00:27:58,340 --> 00:28:00,440
Actually, there's something I meant to ask
you kids.
432
00:28:01,020 --> 00:28:02,620
Do you ever think about getting married?
433
00:28:02,900 --> 00:28:06,840
Actually, Bill and I talked about getting
married.
434
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,480
But his answer was always the same.
435
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:11,020
No!
436
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,320
No!
437
00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:14,060
No!
438
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,400
No!
439
00:28:15,940 --> 00:28:18,200
I always used to dream about my wedding.
440
00:28:18,620 --> 00:28:21,100
I knew exactly how I wanted it to be.
441
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,220
Down to the last detail.
442
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:32,560
Since it was just in my imagination,
it was the most beautiful wedding ever.
443
00:28:38,940 --> 00:28:40,100
I'm cool, not a fool.
444
00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:41,220
I'm the best there is.
445
00:28:41,380 --> 00:28:43,320
When I walk down the street, nobody else
exists.
446
00:28:43,460 --> 00:28:45,520
If I'm at a party, best forget your lady.
447
00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:48,000
Cause it's for the women that God didn't
make me.
448
00:28:48,020 --> 00:28:50,080
I float like a butterfly, sting like a
bee.
449
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,200
My wang, you rang, it's as big as a tree.
450
00:28:52,300 --> 00:28:54,340
No woman alive could ever make me drop.
451
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,580
Cause when I break them open, you can hear
them pop.
452
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,500
They say he's cool, but he's nobody funny.
453
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,700
He owns the women from here to China.
454
00:29:05,100 --> 00:29:06,100
Good night.
455
00:29:06,260 --> 00:29:09,260
Treats them like dirt, then he walks away.
456
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:10,660
Check that out, baby.
457
00:29:10,780 --> 00:29:13,880
Nobody knows how he got this way.
458
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,280
Ha!
459
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,741
I was eatin' at the
club on a Saturday night
460
00:29:25,742 --> 00:29:28,040
when this lady left a
man and I had to fight.
461
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,267
It was over in a second
when I put the sucker out
462
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,400
and just for good measure
landed one in her jaw.
463
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,660
86 that place with the cops on my tail.
464
00:29:34,740 --> 00:29:36,916
I pulled out my ring, a revolver,
no way I'd go to jail.
465
00:29:36,940 --> 00:29:39,096
We were screamin' down the street,
shootin' at the lights.
466
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,200
Then I shot him in the engine and I said,
good night.
467
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:44,820
So we didn't get married.
468
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,680
We did have sort of a honeymoon.
469
00:29:47,380 --> 00:29:50,708
I took Carol to a tranquil,
secluded beach where we
470
00:29:50,709 --> 00:29:53,880
could discuss the more
private parts of our relationship.
471
00:29:55,420 --> 00:29:56,800
Take your top off.
472
00:30:01,940 --> 00:30:04,100
I love being alone with you.
473
00:30:07,220 --> 00:30:10,120
It's great to be away from the crowds.
474
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:04,291
I can't speak for Carol
but I certainly didn't let
475
00:31:04,292 --> 00:31:07,401
the The crowd make me
forget why we were there.
476
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:08,820
Take your top off.
477
00:31:10,620 --> 00:31:11,120
What?
478
00:31:11,580 --> 00:31:15,260
I said take your top off!
479
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:17,960
Thank you.
480
00:31:19,140 --> 00:31:20,140
Now, where were we?
481
00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:23,440
Oh, yes, I was sitting over there where
you are, Carol.
482
00:31:23,780 --> 00:31:24,960
Here, right here.
483
00:31:26,340 --> 00:31:27,360
You don't mind, do you?
484
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:33,800
Uh, Judge, about our vacation... Oh, yes,
yes, about your vacation, Bill and Carol.
485
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,810
The way I see it, a
shared vacation can be an
486
00:31:37,811 --> 00:31:40,420
awful strain on an
otherwise solid relationship.
487
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,963
When Christopher Columbus
came to America with Queen
488
00:31:43,964 --> 00:31:47,160
Isabella of Spain, they had
the same problems as you have.
489
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:52,000
As everyone knows, Columbus and his party
travel in three small ships.
490
00:31:52,220 --> 00:31:54,990
To Santa Maria, to
Nina, and for himself and
491
00:31:54,991 --> 00:31:57,641
his queen, to smaller,
more comfortable Pinto.
492
00:31:58,240 --> 00:31:59,440
Christopher Columbus!
493
00:32:00,020 --> 00:32:01,640
You've gotten us lost.
494
00:32:02,260 --> 00:32:04,336
All right, now, everybody,
keep your eyes peeled,
495
00:32:04,337 --> 00:32:06,660
because we've got to
make a left turn soon.
496
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,280
Are you sure we are?
497
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:09,740
We're right on course.
498
00:32:09,860 --> 00:32:12,420
You always say that, and I say we're lost.
499
00:32:12,980 --> 00:32:15,680
No, no, no, we're not lost, Queenie,
sweetheart.
500
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,320
I mean, I checked the globe here.
501
00:32:17,420 --> 00:32:18,580
You know, there's no problem.
502
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,100
Are we there yet?
503
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:21,760
No!
504
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:23,680
Oh!
505
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:26,880
Oh!
506
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:28,440
Shit!
507
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,360
When are we gonna be there?
508
00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,380
Can we stop and get ice cream?
509
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,040
I am not!
510
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,160
You are, Captain!
511
00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:38,414
Hey, look, if you
guys don't shut up, I'm
512
00:32:38,415 --> 00:32:41,321
gonna turn around and
cut off your goombas, eh?
513
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:42,480
I wanna play!
514
00:32:42,620 --> 00:32:43,620
I wanna play!
515
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,480
Slow down!
516
00:32:45,820 --> 00:32:47,040
We're in a school crossing!
517
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:48,780
Look, I know what I'm doing.
518
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:50,520
School crossing where?
519
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,360
Bunny has to go wee-wee.
520
00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:58,780
I want Bunny to drive.
521
00:33:00,180 --> 00:33:02,320
Bunny has to go wee-wee.
522
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,480
Chris, why can't your sailors take care of
that before they leave Spain?
523
00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:14,560
The wind and the waves finally deposited
Columbus on the shores of the New World.
524
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,201
If you'd only listened to me
and turned to Greenland like I
525
00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:26,036
told you in the first place, we
would've been here months ago.
526
00:33:26,060 --> 00:33:26,480
Now look at that.
527
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:29,080
There go a neighborhood.
528
00:33:29,740 --> 00:33:30,740
Shit.
529
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:38,900
The New World was fraught with danger,
especially from the hostile red man who
530
00:33:38,901 --> 00:33:41,760
threatened Columbus with great bodily
harm.
531
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,020
I can take you to Indian massage parlor.
532
00:33:46,300 --> 00:33:51,020
Pocahontas can apply buffalo grease to
sensitive areas.
533
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:54,920
She also give them good headdress.
534
00:33:55,060 --> 00:33:56,440
Ha ha ha ha.
535
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:57,560
Ha ha ha ha.
536
00:33:57,660 --> 00:33:59,000
Ha ha ha ha.
537
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:00,040
Ha ha ha ha.
538
00:34:00,041 --> 00:34:00,160
Ha ha ha ha.
539
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:01,960
Ha ha ha ha.
540
00:34:02,420 --> 00:34:04,340
New in town, sailor boy.
541
00:34:06,020 --> 00:34:07,020
Hey, what's a that?
542
00:34:07,740 --> 00:34:09,080
A flourish of horns.
543
00:34:09,140 --> 00:34:10,140
No, no, no, no, that.
544
00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:13,120
Oh, they're Indian Braves learning to hunt
bear.
545
00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:14,140
Ouch!
546
00:34:14,141 --> 00:34:14,480
Ouch!
547
00:34:14,980 --> 00:34:15,220
Ouch!
548
00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:15,620
Ouch!
549
00:34:15,621 --> 00:34:15,860
Ouch!
550
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,540
Now let's get back to business.
551
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:20,900
So what'll it be?
552
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,040
Straight massage?
553
00:34:22,220 --> 00:34:23,100
Half and half?
554
00:34:23,180 --> 00:34:24,420
Around the world?
555
00:34:25,060 --> 00:34:25,820
Hey, wait a minute.
556
00:34:25,860 --> 00:34:28,500
Don't you tell me about around the world,
okay kid?
557
00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:31,920
So this is what you do when I'm away,
waiting for Columbus.
558
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:36,400
I was just establishing a diplomatic
relations.
559
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:37,900
She's a princess.
560
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,740
I'm gonna beat you into the 17th century.
561
00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:47,760
I'm gonna kick your ass so hard you'll
have to look hard for real fun.
562
00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:50,120
I'm gonna sit on your face and let you...
563
00:34:50,121 --> 00:34:53,860
Well, Judge Gabriel, it wasn't our
vacation that was the problem.
564
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:59,380
After Bill and I came back from Miami,
things were okay for a while.
565
00:34:59,700 --> 00:35:04,240
Then I began to notice that he had all
these annoying little habits.
566
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,720
I always had trouble with him in bed.
567
00:35:09,780 --> 00:35:11,720
And his friends were even worse.
568
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,880
Bill, why must you eat in bed?
569
00:35:16,020 --> 00:35:17,560
You're always making crumbs.
570
00:35:17,980 --> 00:35:19,060
Oh, Carol, come on.
571
00:35:19,180 --> 00:35:20,180
It's one little peanut.
572
00:35:20,340 --> 00:35:21,340
Oh, yeah.
573
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:22,760
What about yesterday?
574
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,520
Well, I don't know why you're so tight.
575
00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:29,700
Have you seen my turkey sandwich?
576
00:35:34,060 --> 00:35:41,060
Bill, how many times have I asked you not
to leave the toilet seat up?
577
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:48,060
Carol, must you use my razor on your
armpits?
578
00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:11,020
Are you gonna be making that racket for
long?
579
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,360
You know, I can hardly eat with all that
going on.
580
00:36:14,580 --> 00:36:14,800
Me?
581
00:36:15,220 --> 00:36:17,140
Did you ever listen to yourself eat?
582
00:36:20,020 --> 00:36:21,700
What's wrong with the way I eat?
583
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,420
It's disgusting, that's what.
584
00:36:23,980 --> 00:36:26,180
Some people like the way I eat.
585
00:36:27,580 --> 00:36:28,960
Name one person.
586
00:36:34,300 --> 00:36:35,700
Face facts, Bill.
587
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,960
You're very often an inconsiderate snob.
588
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,160
I am not.
589
00:36:39,300 --> 00:36:41,420
I just enjoy my food, that's all.
590
00:36:43,260 --> 00:36:44,020
Hey, look.
591
00:36:44,021 --> 00:36:47,000
Three more bark sops and we can get this
flying saucer.
592
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:53,840
So I relaxed a little at home.
593
00:36:54,020 --> 00:36:56,220
When we went out, I was always the perfect
gentleman.
594
00:36:57,260 --> 00:36:58,880
What about that employee's picnic?
595
00:36:59,460 --> 00:37:02,260
You felt so competitive with everybody
there.
596
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,340
You made me feel like a piece of your
property.
597
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:05,760
I know how you feel.
598
00:37:06,020 --> 00:37:07,100
What are you talking about?
599
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,060
You only love me for my body.
600
00:37:09,300 --> 00:37:10,660
Oh, you're just being stupid.
601
00:37:10,980 --> 00:37:12,820
Don't call me stupid, butthead.
602
00:37:12,821 --> 00:37:14,220
Don't call me butthead, stupid.
603
00:37:15,580 --> 00:37:16,580
That'll be enough.
604
00:37:21,530 --> 00:37:23,230
We'll be late for my boss's picnic.
605
00:37:23,470 --> 00:37:25,450
I know exactly what I'm gonna wear.
606
00:37:27,650 --> 00:37:30,570
My new designer jeans.
607
00:37:30,810 --> 00:37:31,810
Great.
608
00:37:32,630 --> 00:37:36,310
The most sensible $150 I've ever spent.
609
00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:42,690
Dig these.
610
00:37:43,690 --> 00:37:44,590
Very nice.
611
00:37:44,670 --> 00:37:45,670
Cute, huh?
612
00:37:50,270 --> 00:37:51,730
Would you get me started with this?
613
00:37:52,210 --> 00:37:53,210
Sure.
614
00:37:54,430 --> 00:37:54,950
Okay.
615
00:37:55,150 --> 00:37:56,150
Ready?
616
00:37:56,370 --> 00:37:56,670
Yep.
617
00:37:56,810 --> 00:37:57,810
Okay.
618
00:37:59,190 --> 00:38:00,190
Boy.
619
00:38:03,410 --> 00:38:06,070
While you're getting chic, I'm getting a
hernia.
620
00:38:06,530 --> 00:38:07,530
Okay, now, you ready?
621
00:38:07,750 --> 00:38:08,750
Yeah.
622
00:38:08,910 --> 00:38:12,170
Oh, Bill, that's much better.
623
00:38:12,370 --> 00:38:14,890
Oh, it's really working, Bill.
624
00:38:15,530 --> 00:38:16,530
Almost there, hon.
625
00:38:17,130 --> 00:38:18,130
Good.
626
00:38:19,510 --> 00:38:19,970
Okay.
627
00:38:19,971 --> 00:38:20,971
One more.
628
00:38:21,030 --> 00:38:22,030
Okay.
629
00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:22,710
Ready?
630
00:38:23,030 --> 00:38:23,490
Yes.
631
00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:24,530
This'll do it now.
632
00:38:24,570 --> 00:38:24,970
Really go.
633
00:38:25,070 --> 00:38:26,490
One, two, three.
634
00:38:26,770 --> 00:38:33,250
Oh, Bill, you're so good.
635
00:38:34,750 --> 00:38:36,950
Bill, are you sure this is a good idea?
636
00:38:40,710 --> 00:38:41,550
Crank it up, Lou.
637
00:38:41,551 --> 00:38:55,180
I'll cover you on this.
638
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:57,560
Honey, don't stop.
639
00:38:57,820 --> 00:38:59,300
Honey, don't stop.
640
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:04,040
Because of Carol's stupid jeans,
we were so late to my boss's picnic,
641
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,600
I didn't even have time to tell him about
my latest invention.
642
00:39:07,060 --> 00:39:08,280
You're late, shithead.
643
00:39:08,890 --> 00:39:12,740
You certainly had enough time to make a
jealous fool of yourself.
644
00:39:13,460 --> 00:39:15,250
I need your lovin'.
645
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,620
I'm yours to stay.
646
00:39:19,460 --> 00:39:23,080
If you will lay my way.
647
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,520
Don't waste it.
648
00:39:25,580 --> 00:39:28,760
Come on and taste it.
649
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:34,200
Don't waste a chance with my love.
650
00:39:36,420 --> 00:39:37,940
Honey, don't stop.
651
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,680
Honey, don't stop.
652
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,400
Honey, don't stop.
653
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:41,640
Honey, don't stop.
654
00:39:41,641 --> 00:39:44,840
Oh, the water feels so nice and warm.
655
00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:46,260
Oh, shoo.
656
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,300
What is it?
657
00:39:49,380 --> 00:39:50,660
That's too warm.
658
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:58,900
And now's the time you've all been waiting
for, the annual Chicken Rodeo!
659
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:03,760
Ladies, if you will,
660
00:40:12,930 --> 00:40:17,750
show us the strength and endurance of the
Urban Chicken!
661
00:42:17,770 --> 00:42:21,270
Jealousy has made many people jump to the
wrong conclusion.
662
00:42:21,271 --> 00:42:25,630
It seems to me that you have a deficit in
the old trust department.
663
00:42:26,030 --> 00:42:29,990
Nowadays, trust is the most important part
of a relationship.
664
00:42:30,390 --> 00:42:32,570
But love wasn't always like this.
665
00:42:32,830 --> 00:42:37,650
During the fall of the Roman Empire,
the barbarians who raped and pillaged the
666
00:42:37,651 --> 00:42:42,190
Roman women just grabbed any feminine
pedanti that happened to be fleeing in
667
00:42:42,191 --> 00:42:45,130
their direction and kept them locked up in
barbershops.
668
00:42:45,250 --> 00:42:48,570
Hence the expression, barbarians.
669
00:42:48,850 --> 00:42:51,250
The barbarians treated their women
companions well.
670
00:42:51,270 --> 00:42:52,270
Very badly.
671
00:42:57,940 --> 00:42:58,940
Oh, it did not!
672
00:42:59,060 --> 00:42:59,740
It fell off!
673
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:01,100
Ha ha, good boy!
674
00:43:01,340 --> 00:43:03,200
Give it here, I'll throw it in the soup.
675
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:09,600
The tribes that were especially brutal to
their women were the Visigoths,
676
00:43:09,740 --> 00:43:11,800
the Ostrogoths, and the Mishigoths.
677
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:16,440
That'll be last time you'll drink white
wine with roast beef!
678
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:31,700
But the worst tribe of all, the most vulgar
and violent, were the dreaded Stooges.
679
00:43:32,700 --> 00:43:33,100
Ouch!
680
00:43:33,140 --> 00:43:34,140
Hey, Mo!
681
00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:35,220
Spider!
682
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:36,840
Ouch!
683
00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:42,100
Talk about Stooges.
684
00:43:42,340 --> 00:43:45,140
That's just what Bill was for his boss,
Mr. Pillay.
685
00:43:46,100 --> 00:43:47,180
But I need more!
686
00:43:47,980 --> 00:43:48,660
Hey, Shannon!
687
00:43:48,860 --> 00:43:49,860
I mean, Bill!
688
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,160
Yeah, Farface!
689
00:43:51,300 --> 00:43:52,940
I mean, oh, Clem.
690
00:43:52,941 --> 00:43:54,941
This one seems to be having a bit of a
malfunction.
691
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:55,520
Check it out.
692
00:43:55,700 --> 00:43:57,100
Well, we'll have a look-see here.
693
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:58,360
Hold on, Susie.
694
00:43:59,860 --> 00:44:00,960
I don't know what's wrong.
695
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,340
Never known her not to lay before.
696
00:44:20,180 --> 00:44:21,180
Take it back.
697
00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:24,900
And tell those hens I want more goddamn
laying of eggs!
698
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:27,480
What do you want, Bozo?
699
00:44:28,540 --> 00:44:29,620
He's going broke.
700
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:31,160
What is it with these hens?
701
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,320
They're not laying any eggs.
702
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:33,400
What are they, frigid?
703
00:44:33,700 --> 00:44:35,580
Exactly what I'm here to discuss,
sir.
704
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:41,100
I have an idea that should make each hen
lay twice as many eggs.
705
00:44:41,101 --> 00:44:43,560
What kind of idea, Bozo?
706
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:44,880
I'd rather not say.
707
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:46,860
It's rather novel.
708
00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:48,260
Navel?
709
00:44:48,261 --> 00:44:49,740
Chickens don't have navels, Bozo.
710
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:50,980
They don't have navels?
711
00:44:51,460 --> 00:44:53,320
Well, how do their beehives stay on?
712
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:57,680
It's a yoke, sir.
713
00:44:58,140 --> 00:44:59,580
Get out of here, shithead!
714
00:45:00,660 --> 00:45:01,660
Yes, sir.
715
00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:02,220
Yes.
716
00:45:02,580 --> 00:45:04,360
Well, thank you.
717
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:06,820
I'm glad you like my idea.
718
00:45:07,540 --> 00:45:09,980
I'll have a demonstration set up for
Thursday's board meeting.
719
00:45:10,020 --> 00:45:10,580
Get out of here!
720
00:45:10,700 --> 00:45:11,080
Get out of here!
721
00:45:11,100 --> 00:45:12,100
Get out of here!
722
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,940
Show us what you got, shithead.
723
00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:19,440
Gentlemen, Mr. Quillet.
724
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:26,047
What I have designed is
an audio-visual device which
725
00:45:26,048 --> 00:45:30,280
should actually make the
chickens lay more eggs.
726
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,420
Well, I think we're ready for a
demonstration.
727
00:45:35,020 --> 00:45:36,760
So, uh, okay!
728
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,000
Roll it!
729
00:45:42,700 --> 00:45:43,700
My
730
00:47:27,500 --> 00:47:29,820
little movie did get the chickens to
produce more eggs.
731
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:34,940
But instead of laying them, the chickens
got so turned on, they launched them.
732
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:50,860
It really worked!
733
00:47:55,810 --> 00:47:56,810
I'm gonna...
734
00:48:00,190 --> 00:48:01,710
Here, you shithead!
735
00:48:01,930 --> 00:48:04,430
Get rid of all the kinky stuff!
736
00:48:15,930 --> 00:48:16,450
Carol!
737
00:48:16,710 --> 00:48:17,230
Hello!
738
00:48:17,550 --> 00:48:18,990
It's good to be home.
739
00:48:18,991 --> 00:48:21,450
Anything interesting happen at work today?
740
00:48:22,350 --> 00:48:23,350
Well, no.
741
00:48:23,630 --> 00:48:25,690
I was hit by a bus on my way.
742
00:48:25,870 --> 00:48:28,530
And Senator Cogburn,
he came into my office
743
00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:31,551
and made me humiliate
him on my desk blotter.
744
00:48:31,650 --> 00:48:34,750
Listen, I've had a terrible day.
745
00:48:36,210 --> 00:48:37,750
I wouldn't have guessed.
746
00:48:38,490 --> 00:48:39,270
It's amazing.
747
00:48:39,510 --> 00:48:40,530
You're like a sphinx.
748
00:48:40,770 --> 00:48:42,770
I don't know how you keep it all
repressed.
749
00:48:42,950 --> 00:48:44,310
You must have terrible nightmares.
750
00:48:44,530 --> 00:48:46,210
Oh, honey, you know the pressure I'm
under.
751
00:48:46,950 --> 00:48:49,450
I tried my demonstration for Poulet today.
752
00:48:51,210 --> 00:48:52,850
They're still cleaning up the mess.
753
00:48:53,590 --> 00:48:55,230
Hey, this is a new dress.
754
00:48:57,090 --> 00:49:00,310
Listen, we haven't had a night alone in
weeks.
755
00:49:03,570 --> 00:49:06,270
Oh, you didn't bring home your work again,
did you?
756
00:49:07,650 --> 00:49:10,190
Every time I turn around, you bring home
more of these rodents.
757
00:49:11,050 --> 00:49:12,730
Have you smelled our bedroom lately?
758
00:49:13,110 --> 00:49:13,150
Shh!
759
00:49:13,730 --> 00:49:15,330
Not in front of the poultry.
760
00:49:15,331 --> 00:49:17,030
It upsets them.
761
00:49:17,590 --> 00:49:19,210
And they're not rodents.
762
00:49:19,211 --> 00:49:20,130
They're fowl.
763
00:49:20,230 --> 00:49:21,810
They certainly are.
764
00:49:23,030 --> 00:49:25,050
Couldn't we just have a quiet night
together?
765
00:49:25,450 --> 00:49:29,670
Just you and me and the super glue?
766
00:49:29,930 --> 00:49:31,450
No, no, really, Carol.
767
00:49:31,950 --> 00:49:34,290
I've got to work on the egg inducer.
768
00:49:34,810 --> 00:49:36,921
I just know I can get
them to lay more eggs
769
00:49:36,922 --> 00:49:39,811
if I start with them
when they're this young.
770
00:49:42,510 --> 00:49:44,530
What about that thing with the whipped
cream?
771
00:49:44,531 --> 00:49:46,110
You always like that.
772
00:49:46,370 --> 00:49:47,570
Carol, you're in my life.
773
00:49:47,750 --> 00:49:49,310
Oh, I'm in your light, am I?
774
00:49:49,490 --> 00:49:51,990
Well, how would you like it if I got out
of your life?
775
00:49:52,250 --> 00:49:53,250
Oh, great.
776
00:49:53,730 --> 00:49:54,890
Great, Carol.
777
00:49:55,190 --> 00:49:55,810
Yeah, good.
778
00:49:55,910 --> 00:49:57,450
Lay this all on me right now.
779
00:49:57,550 --> 00:49:57,730
Go ahead.
780
00:49:57,810 --> 00:49:58,830
Yeah, sabotage my work.
781
00:49:58,930 --> 00:50:01,170
You know, you'd love to see me fail,
wouldn't you?
782
00:50:01,510 --> 00:50:03,870
I'm trying to build a career here.
783
00:50:04,110 --> 00:50:05,570
Your daddy set you up for life.
784
00:50:05,650 --> 00:50:07,010
My father couldn't do that for me.
785
00:50:07,090 --> 00:50:08,630
You had everything given to you.
786
00:50:08,730 --> 00:50:10,270
Don't mention my father.
787
00:50:10,570 --> 00:50:12,550
My father is a saint.
788
00:50:12,770 --> 00:50:13,850
Oh, don't tell your father.
789
00:50:15,450 --> 00:50:17,430
Witness, if you will, a couple.
790
00:50:17,610 --> 00:50:22,570
A couple very much in love and very much
on each other's nerves.
791
00:50:23,090 --> 00:50:27,010
The point in contention, disagreement over
a man's job.
792
00:50:29,030 --> 00:50:33,890
This sort of disagreement has long plagued
couples throughout the ages.
793
00:50:34,270 --> 00:50:36,850
Come, let us observe a similar argument...
794
00:50:37,330 --> 00:50:38,630
in another day...
795
00:50:39,430 --> 00:50:40,830
and another time.
796
00:50:45,540 --> 00:50:48,260
You are going on a journey.
797
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:55,780
There's a signpost up ahead.
798
00:51:06,070 --> 00:51:07,990
I feel a bad chill.
799
00:51:08,210 --> 00:51:10,370
I feel a very bad...
800
00:51:12,290 --> 00:51:14,550
We have reached our destination.
801
00:51:15,250 --> 00:51:18,170
The days of old, when nights were bold.
802
00:51:18,530 --> 00:51:20,610
And toilets weren't invented.
803
00:51:21,270 --> 00:51:24,750
They left their load in the middle of the
road... and walked right on, contented.
804
00:51:26,490 --> 00:51:26,930
Look!
805
00:51:26,931 --> 00:51:29,310
Yonder cometh the dangerous knife from the
Black Castle.
806
00:51:29,830 --> 00:51:30,830
Knife, fool?
807
00:51:30,950 --> 00:51:34,170
It is the good knight...
from the White Castle.
808
00:51:38,550 --> 00:51:40,490
Sir Galahad gets a dragon bone with
everything.
809
00:51:40,790 --> 00:51:42,206
The French fight toad is for Merlin.
810
00:51:42,230 --> 00:51:44,750
And Maid Marian will have it her way,
or any way she can get it.
811
00:51:44,850 --> 00:51:47,270
King Arthur and his lady, Queen
Guinevere...
812
00:51:48,550 --> 00:51:50,110
revolutionized the lovers' quarrel.
813
00:51:51,270 --> 00:51:52,270
From head...
814
00:51:59,990 --> 00:52:04,550
they pioneered the method that has
kept countless couples... from breaking up.
815
00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:07,230
The classic male-female fight.
816
00:52:08,390 --> 00:52:09,830
There's nothing like it.
817
00:52:10,050 --> 00:52:11,650
That be one shield down.
818
00:52:11,770 --> 00:52:13,570
Now watch out for thy petty shield.
819
00:52:23,390 --> 00:52:25,210
He'll turn my battle-axe.
820
00:52:27,550 --> 00:52:28,110
brush my sword!
821
00:52:28,111 --> 00:52:29,111
He'll watch me with his활.
822
00:52:29,970 --> 00:52:31,090
Kill him!
823
00:52:31,370 --> 00:52:31,930
Violent!
824
00:52:32,210 --> 00:52:33,210
Violent!
825
00:52:34,310 --> 00:52:39,560
He's… Thank you.
826
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:40,140
Oh!
827
00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:41,480
Is that my sword?
828
00:52:41,940 --> 00:52:43,220
Autograph model, sir.
829
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:43,880
Sorry.
830
00:52:43,980 --> 00:52:44,980
Me too.
831
00:52:45,820 --> 00:52:46,820
Yeah!
832
00:52:47,220 --> 00:52:48,220
Come on.
833
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,660
Come on, let me see some blood.
834
00:52:50,700 --> 00:52:51,700
Come on.
835
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:57,960
Flied, flied...
836
00:53:01,420 --> 00:53:03,680
And the pulse is still ticking.
837
00:53:07,970 --> 00:53:11,250
So Guinevere promised that she would use
her mouth a little?
838
00:53:11,890 --> 00:53:14,050
If Arthur would use his Lancelot.
839
00:53:17,250 --> 00:53:19,630
I want to thank you for last night.
840
00:53:20,090 --> 00:53:22,270
You were sensational...
841
00:53:23,370 --> 00:53:25,110
I've never been in love before.
842
00:53:29,270 --> 00:53:30,270
Mr. Pillay?
843
00:53:30,450 --> 00:53:30,990
What do you want?
844
00:53:31,450 --> 00:53:33,818
Well, I just wanted
to apologize for what
845
00:53:33,878 --> 00:53:36,190
happened in the chicken
coop last week, sir.
846
00:53:36,410 --> 00:53:40,250
I had no idea that the film would have
such a profound effect on the girls.
847
00:53:40,590 --> 00:53:41,890
That's not the problem, Bozo.
848
00:53:42,110 --> 00:53:44,560
You got them so steamed
up, why those stupid
849
00:53:44,561 --> 00:53:46,730
birds want Friday night
dances with the roosters.
850
00:53:47,110 --> 00:53:49,610
Yeah, I had heard some rumors around the
coop.
851
00:53:49,890 --> 00:53:51,050
I may be wiped out!
852
00:53:51,051 --> 00:53:54,570
I may have the solution to your problems.
853
00:53:54,670 --> 00:53:56,410
Don't do me any favors, Bozo.
854
00:53:56,550 --> 00:53:59,430
If this doesn't work, you can fire me.
855
00:54:00,670 --> 00:54:01,670
I can?
856
00:54:04,090 --> 00:54:05,790
You've got a deal, Bozo.
857
00:54:05,870 --> 00:54:07,090
You've got a deal.
858
00:54:09,450 --> 00:54:12,250
Gentlemen, I'm sorry I have to do this to
you again.
859
00:54:12,570 --> 00:54:15,270
But I have a deal with Bozo here.
860
00:54:15,470 --> 00:54:18,730
He's going to show you this worthless
invention of his.
861
00:54:19,070 --> 00:54:21,030
And then, I do it.
862
00:54:21,050 --> 00:54:22,170
And then, I get to fire him.
863
00:54:24,290 --> 00:54:25,330
Okay, shithead.
864
00:54:25,730 --> 00:54:28,050
Show it and we can all get back to work.
865
00:54:31,050 --> 00:54:32,670
Just a minute, Andrews.
866
00:54:32,710 --> 00:54:34,550
That's my prized Polish hen.
867
00:54:34,810 --> 00:54:38,090
You damaged so much as one
feather on that bird and... Don't worry.
868
00:54:38,630 --> 00:54:39,870
I know what I'm doing.
869
00:54:40,190 --> 00:54:41,430
So did Mussolini.
870
00:54:41,550 --> 00:54:42,750
And look what happened to him.
871
00:54:47,410 --> 00:54:53,110
Now, I've given... this machine
the peculiar name of egg inducer.
872
00:54:53,450 --> 00:54:56,176
Because it has the
unique capability of
873
00:54:56,177 --> 00:54:58,750
actually coaxing the
eggs out of the chickens.
874
00:54:58,990 --> 00:55:03,631
With this nifty little
device, you get not one,
875
00:55:03,632 --> 00:55:07,150
not two, but three eggs
per chicken per sitting.
876
00:55:07,350 --> 00:55:11,370
As opposed to the norm ratio of one egg
per hen per day.
877
00:55:11,930 --> 00:55:15,530
So now, I think we're ready for a little
demonstration.
878
00:55:19,610 --> 00:55:24,410
Now, I'll just set it here for a
two-year-old Polish hen.
879
00:55:26,070 --> 00:55:27,710
And... we're off.
880
00:55:29,990 --> 00:55:56,210
Two eggs.
881
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:03,840
One drumstick.
882
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:06,520
One drumstick!
883
00:56:49,910 --> 00:56:51,250
I'm fired, right?
884
00:56:51,990 --> 00:56:52,330
No!
885
00:56:52,730 --> 00:56:53,730
You're dead!
886
00:56:54,210 --> 00:56:55,590
Men, kill him!
887
00:56:56,790 --> 00:56:59,010
Mr. Poulet was a little steamed.
888
00:56:59,011 --> 00:57:00,770
He didn't fire me, though.
889
00:57:01,410 --> 00:57:05,290
A couple of other minor incidents
necessitated a career change.
890
00:57:06,150 --> 00:57:07,690
I became a cheeseburger.
891
00:57:08,950 --> 00:57:09,530
Plastyburgers!
892
00:57:09,531 --> 00:57:10,630
Get your mouths!
893
00:57:11,750 --> 00:57:12,330
Plastyburgers!
894
00:57:12,510 --> 00:57:14,750
They almost taste real!
895
00:57:15,910 --> 00:57:16,490
Plastyburgers!
896
00:57:16,510 --> 00:57:17,670
Get your mouths!
897
00:57:18,310 --> 00:57:18,890
Plastyburgers!
898
00:57:19,070 --> 00:57:21,570
You won't believe them till you try them!
899
00:57:21,670 --> 00:57:23,170
The work wasn't so bad.
900
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,710
I mean, there were a lot of guys in my
situation.
901
00:57:26,950 --> 00:57:27,770
Morning, Bill.
902
00:57:27,930 --> 00:57:28,510
How's it hanging?
903
00:57:28,511 --> 00:57:29,511
Good job!
904
00:57:30,910 --> 00:57:32,390
That was late again.
905
00:57:33,630 --> 00:57:35,830
Kids, there's been something I meant to
ask you.
906
00:57:36,190 --> 00:57:37,190
What's that?
907
00:57:38,430 --> 00:57:39,430
Recognize this man?
908
00:57:39,570 --> 00:57:40,570
He owes me money.
909
00:57:40,770 --> 00:57:42,290
That's what you wanted to ask us?
910
00:57:42,510 --> 00:57:42,710
No.
911
00:57:43,030 --> 00:57:44,030
I guess I lied.
912
00:57:44,390 --> 00:57:48,770
What I really meant to ask you was...
Why did you break up in the first place?
913
00:57:49,010 --> 00:57:50,590
So you had a few problems.
914
00:57:51,390 --> 00:57:53,110
Well, you haven't heard the worst of it.
915
00:57:53,330 --> 00:57:54,330
It gets worse?
916
00:57:54,370 --> 00:57:58,230
The real problems began when Bill lost his
job and his self-confidence...
917
00:57:58,231 --> 00:58:00,550
and he started accusing me of all these
terrible things.
918
00:58:00,750 --> 00:58:01,350
Oh, I did not!
919
00:58:01,630 --> 00:58:02,810
She's a crazy lunatic.
920
00:58:02,890 --> 00:58:03,890
You can see that.
921
00:58:04,050 --> 00:58:05,370
I think you get the idea.
922
00:58:06,590 --> 00:58:08,670
There was no more trust in our
relationship.
923
00:58:09,850 --> 00:58:10,850
Bill.
924
00:58:11,350 --> 00:58:12,350
Carol.
925
00:58:16,550 --> 00:58:18,410
Trust is a very unusual thing.
926
00:58:19,450 --> 00:58:21,790
It's like earmuffs on a cantaloupe.
927
00:58:21,930 --> 00:58:24,170
That's very unusual.
928
00:58:24,750 --> 00:58:25,750
It's just what I said.
929
00:58:25,910 --> 00:58:27,110
It's very unusual.
930
00:58:27,111 --> 00:58:30,550
In fact, there's something I would like
you to look at.
931
00:58:35,660 --> 00:58:40,520
Napoleon Bonaparte was legendary for his
lack of trust in his wife, Josephine.
932
00:58:40,900 --> 00:58:44,820
He was obsessed with the notion that while
he was out conquering the world...
933
00:58:44,821 --> 00:58:47,680
she was hosting orgies back in France.
934
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:52,100
History was made one night when Josephine
and her lovers...
935
00:58:52,101 --> 00:58:54,260
feasted on a tub of baked beans.
936
00:58:54,620 --> 00:58:56,720
And the whole thing backfired.
937
00:58:56,721 --> 00:58:59,580
Oh, la, la, baked beans.
938
00:59:01,900 --> 00:59:03,880
Chevrolet Cote de Ville.
939
00:59:06,500 --> 00:59:08,260
Jean Cousteau.
940
00:59:13,100 --> 00:59:14,100
Yes?
941
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:20,260
It's your own truth, Napoleon.
942
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:23,600
Scram!
943
00:59:23,900 --> 00:59:26,200
The little runt is back.
944
00:59:27,260 --> 00:59:29,900
And don't forget to hide the baked beans.
945
00:59:32,540 --> 00:59:33,540
Yeah.
946
00:59:39,810 --> 00:59:41,470
Come, Litz-Brellick.
947
00:59:44,310 --> 00:59:45,310
Poo-poo.
948
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:46,810
No poo-poo.
949
00:59:46,890 --> 00:59:47,890
What did I tell you, huh?
950
00:59:50,710 --> 00:59:52,370
Come, Litz-Brellick.
951
00:59:58,650 --> 01:00:00,690
Napoleon, you have farted.
952
01:00:01,190 --> 01:00:02,710
It wasn't me.
953
01:00:03,250 --> 01:00:05,030
It was the cat.
954
01:00:06,130 --> 01:00:09,030
We haven't got the cat, do we?
955
01:00:10,130 --> 01:00:11,730
It was me.
956
01:00:25,150 --> 01:00:26,370
Sacre bleu.
957
01:00:26,570 --> 01:00:28,370
It smells like viburnum.
958
01:00:32,070 --> 01:00:33,610
Chemical warfare.
959
01:00:34,170 --> 01:00:36,230
You nasty man.
960
01:00:42,570 --> 01:00:46,250
I'm not Napoleon, but that's exactly what
was happening between you and me.
961
01:00:46,350 --> 01:00:47,710
What are you talking about?
962
01:00:47,810 --> 01:00:49,170
I never did anything of the kind.
963
01:00:49,290 --> 01:00:50,290
Of course you did.
964
01:00:50,370 --> 01:00:51,810
I saw you with my own eyes.
965
01:00:51,890 --> 01:00:52,570
I saw you.
966
01:00:52,690 --> 01:00:54,430
Your faith in me is touching.
967
01:00:56,530 --> 01:00:58,090
Works pretty well, don't it?
968
01:00:58,250 --> 01:01:00,570
I used this once when I went hunting in
Woolworths.
969
01:01:00,630 --> 01:01:02,590
You went hunting in Woolworths?
970
01:01:02,790 --> 01:01:04,110
What were you hunting for?
971
01:01:05,090 --> 01:01:05,530
Bargains!
972
01:01:05,531 --> 01:01:06,930
Got you on that one, didn't I?
973
01:01:07,690 --> 01:01:10,250
Say, what the devil were you two kids
arguing about?
974
01:01:10,390 --> 01:01:11,390
Let me explain.
975
01:01:12,110 --> 01:01:16,170
About a week after Carol and I had our big
argument about my career...
976
01:01:16,690 --> 01:01:17,770
I saw something.
977
01:01:17,850 --> 01:01:19,030
You don't understand.
978
01:01:19,350 --> 01:01:20,690
Let me finish.
979
01:01:21,730 --> 01:01:24,710
I felt bad about the problems that Carol
and I were having.
980
01:01:24,950 --> 01:01:27,850
So I thought I would surprise her with
tickets to her favorite opera.
981
01:01:29,890 --> 01:01:32,410
But I was the one that got surprised.
982
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:44,260
I decided to follow Carol, but I didn't
want her to know.
983
01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:49,820
So I came up with this clever disguise
that made me completely inconspicuous.
984
01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:59,860
Despite my excellent camouflage,
I think she sensed something.
985
01:02:28,780 --> 01:02:29,200
Carol!
986
01:02:29,201 --> 01:02:30,480
Carol, get out of the car!
987
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:32,060
Carol, get out of there!
988
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:33,960
Carol, what are you doing?
989
01:02:34,060 --> 01:02:35,140
Get out of the house!
990
01:02:36,580 --> 01:02:38,580
Oh, terribly sorry.
991
01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:39,420
I do.
992
01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:40,720
Oh.
993
01:02:41,500 --> 01:02:42,500
Beat it, weirdo.
994
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,140
Just wanted to tell you the circus is in
town.
995
01:02:48,141 --> 01:02:50,540
Be at the fairgrounds, August 5th.
996
01:02:50,740 --> 01:02:51,740
See you there.
997
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:56,160
Bruce, now how did he know my name was
Carol?
998
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:57,540
I didn't tell you.
999
01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:58,541
I was getting desperate.
1000
01:02:58,840 --> 01:02:59,360
Taxi!
1001
01:02:59,361 --> 01:03:01,980
I had to confront Carol at any cost.
1002
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:03,820
Forest Lawn and step on it!
1003
01:03:04,060 --> 01:03:05,300
One minute, please.
1004
01:03:06,740 --> 01:03:10,100
Driver, do you see that suspicious-looking
clown following us?
1005
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:11,280
Yes, I do.
1006
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:12,720
Can you do something about it?
1007
01:03:12,721 --> 01:03:14,001
He's been following me for days.
1008
01:03:14,260 --> 01:03:15,260
Yes, I can.
1009
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:27,400
Let's go.
1010
01:03:32,740 --> 01:03:33,740
Faster!
1011
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:39,960
How am I doing, lady?
1012
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:43,600
He's gaining on us.
1013
01:03:43,780 --> 01:03:45,540
Who the hell is that clown, anyway?
1014
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:49,020
Never mind, just car it!
1015
01:04:19,770 --> 01:04:20,970
Thanks for stopping.
1016
01:04:21,890 --> 01:04:22,890
It
1017
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:34,000
was quite a chase, but I finally tracked
her down.
1018
01:04:34,620 --> 01:04:37,500
Now we would see if there was anything
left of our love.
1019
01:04:39,540 --> 01:04:43,639
Dear friends, we are gathered
here today to pay solemn
1020
01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:47,200
tribute to a dear friend and
colleague, Charles Coffin.
1021
01:04:47,201 --> 01:04:52,820
He would certainly appreciate the
solemnity and quietness of this moment.
1022
01:04:53,820 --> 01:04:57,100
Let us bow our heads for a moment of
prayer.
1023
01:04:58,440 --> 01:04:58,820
Excuse me.
1024
01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:00,020
Sir.
1025
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:01,280
Excuse me.
1026
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:02,200
Excuse me.
1027
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:03,040
What?
1028
01:05:03,480 --> 01:05:04,660
We've got to talk.
1029
01:05:04,661 --> 01:05:05,020
Here?
1030
01:05:05,340 --> 01:05:05,860
Now?
1031
01:05:06,180 --> 01:05:06,880
Well, what's wrong with now?
1032
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:07,956
Now's as good a time as any.
1033
01:05:07,980 --> 01:05:09,640
Do you have any idea where you are?
1034
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:11,540
Excuse me, sir.
1035
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:13,220
Are you with the mourners?
1036
01:05:14,440 --> 01:05:16,040
Well, no, not exactly.
1037
01:05:16,041 --> 01:05:19,560
I, uh... Well, if you would just have a
seat so we can continue the service.
1038
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:20,720
Sure, I'll...
1039
01:05:25,260 --> 01:05:30,100
We were certainly taken aback by this most
tragic accident.
1040
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:33,120
You have been following me for days,
haven't you?
1041
01:05:33,300 --> 01:05:34,360
Oh, you know this.
1042
01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:41,540
I'm sorry.
1043
01:05:42,040 --> 01:05:43,620
Why are you doing this?
1044
01:05:43,621 --> 01:05:47,640
Because I think we have some very serious
things to discuss.
1045
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:52,440
Here.
1046
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:55,360
Oh, oh.
1047
01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:56,600
.
1048
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:06,040
Will the gentleman in the third row please
turn that thing off.
1049
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:07,760
One minute, okay.
1050
01:06:07,860 --> 01:06:09,020
I just gotta find the switch.
1051
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:09,320
Um.
1052
01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:11,120
Uh...
1053
01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:12,500
Here it is.
1054
01:06:18,580 --> 01:06:19,760
No, that wasn't it.
1055
01:06:20,180 --> 01:06:21,780
You think I like doing this?
1056
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,520
Look, the point is...
1057
01:06:31,120 --> 01:06:35,620
Will the gentleman in the third row please
let me bury this man?
1058
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:37,700
I have another one to do today!
1059
01:06:38,480 --> 01:06:39,000
Hey!
1060
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,860
Can't you see we're trying to have a
conversation over here?
1061
01:06:43,340 --> 01:06:44,340
Go!
1062
01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:45,280
Carol!
1063
01:06:45,580 --> 01:06:49,640
Look, what I wanted to say...
Oh, I'm trying to... I just want to...
1064
01:06:55,660 --> 01:06:56,660
Don't wait!
1065
01:06:56,800 --> 01:06:57,500
Don't wait!
1066
01:06:57,660 --> 01:07:04,940
Carol, what I'm trying to say is that...
I think that we ought to get married.
1067
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:07,000
Because I...
1068
01:07:08,180 --> 01:07:09,741
love... you.
1069
01:07:13,660 --> 01:07:15,780
Carol was a little upset after that.
1070
01:07:15,900 --> 01:07:17,940
So we sat down and talked it out.
1071
01:07:18,020 --> 01:07:22,340
And agreed that... perhaps, temporarily,
I should move out of the house.
1072
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:24,860
Get out of here, you moron!
1073
01:07:25,180 --> 01:07:26,180
What are you...
1074
01:07:28,020 --> 01:07:34,740
I'm leaving!
1075
01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:39,480
I'm so glad you reconsidered.
1076
01:07:39,481 --> 01:07:41,180
You'll adore this neighborhood.
1077
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:48,480
Hi.
1078
01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:49,640
Hi.
1079
01:07:50,180 --> 01:07:50,180
Oh!
1080
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:51,560
Oh!
1081
01:07:55,170 --> 01:07:57,150
I wasn't gonna moon about it.
1082
01:07:57,370 --> 01:07:59,630
I started looking for a small place of my
own.
1083
01:08:00,070 --> 01:08:02,820
Since apartments are so
hard to come by these days, I
1084
01:08:02,821 --> 01:08:05,171
figured I'd better take the
first place to come along.
1085
01:08:05,530 --> 01:08:06,710
Well, no visitors.
1086
01:08:07,210 --> 01:08:08,430
And no parties!
1087
01:08:10,810 --> 01:08:11,810
I'll take it.
1088
01:08:17,090 --> 01:08:18,090
No pets!
1089
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:31,160
It wasn't so bad.
1090
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:35,380
And after I got through decorating,
the place looked really nice.
1091
01:08:36,060 --> 01:08:39,980
After a few days without Carol,
I knew I had done the right thing.
1092
01:08:40,420 --> 01:08:44,600
Now I had the chance to date wholesome,
well-adjusted girls.
1093
01:08:44,940 --> 01:08:45,940
Oh, Bill!
1094
01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:47,360
Like Muffy.
1095
01:08:48,580 --> 01:08:49,700
Oh, Bill.
1096
01:08:50,100 --> 01:08:51,100
What?
1097
01:08:52,140 --> 01:08:53,140
Hurt me.
1098
01:08:54,020 --> 01:08:55,020
What?
1099
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:56,280
Hit me.
1100
01:08:56,620 --> 01:08:57,400
Bite me.
1101
01:08:57,440 --> 01:08:58,440
Spank me.
1102
01:08:58,600 --> 01:08:59,600
Whip me.
1103
01:09:02,780 --> 01:09:05,180
Take your belt off and spank me.
1104
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:05,720
Punish me.
1105
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:07,500
Teach me a lesson.
1106
01:09:08,580 --> 01:09:09,600
Oh, gee.
1107
01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:11,360
It's 6.45 already.
1108
01:09:11,740 --> 01:09:13,400
I had no idea it was so late.
1109
01:09:14,440 --> 01:09:15,440
Bill, please.
1110
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:15,760
No.
1111
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:18,180
It wasn't the whips and chains that I
minded.
1112
01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:22,660
But when she wanted to strap me to a chair
and make me watch the Phil Donahue show,
1113
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:24,540
I knew it was time to leave.
1114
01:09:26,700 --> 01:09:29,060
I was enjoying my freedom, too.
1115
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:30,360
I was enjoying my freedom, too.
1116
01:09:30,440 --> 01:09:33,020
Without Bill, I became the life of the
party.
1117
01:09:35,780 --> 01:09:38,079
You have been watching
the Champagne Hour,
1118
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:40,500
coming to you from the
famous Starlight Room.
1119
01:09:40,780 --> 01:09:42,800
And now, a word about laxatives.
1120
01:09:43,060 --> 01:09:45,620
I was meeting all sorts of fascinating
men.
1121
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,000
Hey there, good-looking.
1122
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:48,180
My name is Len.
1123
01:09:48,300 --> 01:09:49,100
Maybe you heard of me.
1124
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:51,000
I drive a Datsun Supercharged Turbo.
1125
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:54,440
How would you like to come up to my
apartment and jump in the washing machine?
1126
01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:56,520
No.
1127
01:09:57,020 --> 01:09:58,300
Maybe some other time.
1128
01:09:59,380 --> 01:10:00,360
Hey there, good-looking.
1129
01:10:00,380 --> 01:10:01,200
My name is Linda.
1130
01:10:01,340 --> 01:10:02,340
I'd love to.
1131
01:10:02,540 --> 01:10:03,540
Excuse me.
1132
01:10:03,900 --> 01:10:05,560
I noticed you were sitting by yourself.
1133
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:06,880
Can I join you?
1134
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:08,160
Sure.
1135
01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:10,420
My name's Myron Lunch.
1136
01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:13,280
I work for Ross & White, the accounting
firm.
1137
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:16,230
If you're not doing anything,
would you like to come
1138
01:10:16,231 --> 01:10:18,840
back to my house and do
some really serious fucking?
1139
01:10:19,980 --> 01:10:21,180
I have a water pick.
1140
01:10:21,340 --> 01:10:22,340
It's real good.
1141
01:10:27,870 --> 01:10:29,330
Everybody, shut up!
1142
01:10:29,510 --> 01:10:30,330
Shut up!
1143
01:10:30,331 --> 01:10:31,130
It's 6.01.
1144
01:10:31,131 --> 01:10:32,410
Happy hour's over.
1145
01:10:32,590 --> 01:10:33,650
Just shut up!
1146
01:10:35,770 --> 01:10:37,430
You heard me, lady.
1147
01:10:37,530 --> 01:10:39,470
If you want to be happy, go next door.
1148
01:10:39,890 --> 01:10:40,890
Hi.
1149
01:10:41,150 --> 01:10:42,450
Sorry I'm late.
1150
01:10:43,130 --> 01:10:44,650
Hey, what's wrong?
1151
01:10:45,970 --> 01:10:49,030
You're not gonna believe this,
but I think I miss Bill.
1152
01:10:49,890 --> 01:10:53,911
What's worse, every jerk in
town either wants to take me
1153
01:10:53,912 --> 01:10:56,750
home or buy me a drink or put
me through his washing machine.
1154
01:10:56,751 --> 01:11:00,450
God, I've been squeezed so many times,
I feel like a package of Charmin.
1155
01:11:00,710 --> 01:11:01,910
Carol, come on.
1156
01:11:01,930 --> 01:11:02,970
Don't talk like that.
1157
01:11:03,190 --> 01:11:04,190
You're strong.
1158
01:11:04,770 --> 01:11:06,290
You can make it through this.
1159
01:11:06,630 --> 01:11:08,250
I have faith in you.
1160
01:11:08,890 --> 01:11:12,370
You know, Carol, you've got a great body.
1161
01:11:13,970 --> 01:11:17,030
Would you mind terribly if I stick my
tongue in your ear?
1162
01:11:18,310 --> 01:11:22,950
It's sad when a romance goes out of a
relationship.
1163
01:11:23,410 --> 01:11:24,410
What do you mean?
1164
01:11:24,470 --> 01:11:25,470
Never mind.
1165
01:11:28,410 --> 01:11:29,490
You're not much of a man.
1166
01:11:29,810 --> 01:11:31,250
And you're bad in bed.
1167
01:11:31,450 --> 01:11:33,150
Look, you've got nothing there.
1168
01:11:33,750 --> 01:11:34,750
You bastard.
1169
01:11:34,950 --> 01:11:35,950
You bastard.
1170
01:11:36,410 --> 01:11:38,510
Take that, you bitch.
1171
01:11:38,870 --> 01:11:40,550
Take that.
1172
01:11:43,610 --> 01:11:44,610
Bill?
1173
01:11:54,180 --> 01:11:55,180
Carol?
1174
01:11:58,060 --> 01:11:59,140
That's disgusting.
1175
01:12:00,140 --> 01:12:03,120
After careful analysis, I believe I
finally understand the situation.
1176
01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:04,900
You hate each other.
1177
01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:09,240
Now, why don't you both return to your
homes and get a good night's sleep?
1178
01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:13,000
Tomorrow in court, I will render my
decision.
1179
01:12:44,870 --> 01:12:46,910
Any calls while I was gone, Stella?
1180
01:12:47,570 --> 01:12:48,390
No, Your Honor.
1181
01:12:48,470 --> 01:12:50,650
Just some crank telling me to hold his
ball.
1182
01:12:50,770 --> 01:12:52,530
I mean, never mind, Your Honor.
1183
01:12:52,950 --> 01:12:55,970
Well, let me continue dictating on the
Kornheiser opinion.
1184
01:12:55,971 --> 01:12:56,971
Yes, Your Honor.
1185
01:13:18,140 --> 01:13:19,140
Carol
1186
01:13:35,300 --> 01:13:40,156
Griffiths, the spirits of
history summon you back
1187
01:13:40,157 --> 01:13:43,960
through time to stand
trial in the eternal court.
1188
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:54,280
Your jury, the great figures of history,
will judge you not on the mundane values
1189
01:13:54,281 --> 01:13:57,897
of the New Jersey system
of jurisprudence, but
1190
01:13:57,898 --> 01:14:02,800
rather on the cosmic
universal wisdom of the ages.
1191
01:14:07,440 --> 01:14:09,300
Could I have a receipt, please?
1192
01:14:09,820 --> 01:14:10,820
Thanks.
1193
01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:19,280
Bill Andrews and Carol Griffiths come
before the bar.
1194
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:40,300
This court seeks judgment against the
couple Bill Andrews and Carol Griffiths.
1195
01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:41,560
Of what are they accused?
1196
01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:44,280
Mr. Judge, I'd just like to say something.
1197
01:14:44,281 --> 01:14:44,900
Excuse me.
1198
01:14:44,920 --> 01:14:46,600
The members of the jury and everybody.
1199
01:14:46,860 --> 01:14:48,000
I'm Christopher Columbus.
1200
01:14:48,100 --> 01:14:48,500
How do you do?
1201
01:14:48,600 --> 01:14:49,640
The discoverer of America.
1202
01:14:50,020 --> 01:14:51,600
I just don't want to say one thing.
1203
01:14:51,740 --> 01:14:53,820
You know, we got a lot of very important
people here.
1204
01:14:54,340 --> 01:14:57,180
Discoverers, inventors, people who did a
very good thing.
1205
01:14:57,880 --> 01:15:01,140
But there's one thing we've all been amiss
in all of our lives.
1206
01:15:01,260 --> 01:15:02,260
One thing.
1207
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:03,860
And these two.
1208
01:15:04,060 --> 01:15:05,640
Ah, you're stupid or what.
1209
01:15:05,940 --> 01:15:06,960
You found it.
1210
01:15:06,980 --> 01:15:07,420
You got it.
1211
01:15:07,440 --> 01:15:08,440
You got the magic.
1212
01:15:08,660 --> 01:15:09,660
You got love.
1213
01:15:10,860 --> 01:15:11,220
Oh.
1214
01:15:11,680 --> 01:15:12,480
And what do you do?
1215
01:15:12,700 --> 01:15:13,580
You blow it.
1216
01:15:13,720 --> 01:15:16,560
Well, I just got to say one thing to you
from all of us.
1217
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:17,800
Why are you crazy?
1218
01:15:18,680 --> 01:15:19,680
Jesus.
1219
01:15:20,300 --> 01:15:21,300
That's all I got to say.
1220
01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:22,360
Thank you very much.
1221
01:15:28,460 --> 01:15:29,460
That's a good boy.
1222
01:15:30,780 --> 01:15:31,780
Emperor Napoleon.
1223
01:15:32,080 --> 01:15:33,440
Call your first witness.
1224
01:15:42,680 --> 01:15:44,500
What the hell?
1225
01:15:49,700 --> 01:15:51,680
Andrews, what are you doing here?
1226
01:15:52,160 --> 01:15:54,900
Come to think of it, what am I doing here?
1227
01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:58,800
I was in the middle of a dream with Linda
Ronstadt.
1228
01:15:59,240 --> 01:16:02,000
Do you know that man sitting there?
1229
01:16:02,560 --> 01:16:03,560
Oh, yeah.
1230
01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,140
That's Andrews, the shithead.
1231
01:16:05,500 --> 01:16:06,820
He used to work for me.
1232
01:16:07,180 --> 01:16:11,460
Would you mind explaining what happened to
end his employee with you?
1233
01:16:12,660 --> 01:16:13,800
It was on a Tuesday.
1234
01:16:14,640 --> 01:16:16,020
I've had it up to here, Bozo.
1235
01:16:16,080 --> 01:16:17,080
Are you paying attention?
1236
01:16:17,480 --> 01:16:18,020
Yes, sir.
1237
01:16:18,100 --> 01:16:19,700
Then look at me when I shriek at you.
1238
01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:21,836
What's the matter with your mind?
1239
01:16:21,860 --> 01:16:22,860
Somewhere else?
1240
01:16:23,040 --> 01:16:25,420
Are you having personal problems?
1241
01:16:25,900 --> 01:16:27,380
I heard it's that girl of yours.
1242
01:16:27,381 --> 01:16:30,100
She's treating Bozo like a dork.
1243
01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:31,920
Forget that tart.
1244
01:16:32,460 --> 01:16:36,160
There are 90,000 other clucking hens in
the coop.
1245
01:16:36,420 --> 01:16:40,920
Mr. Pillay, please, do not call her a
tart.
1246
01:16:42,380 --> 01:16:44,580
She's the most wonderful girl in the
world.
1247
01:16:45,620 --> 01:16:47,800
We're just having problems right now,
that's all.
1248
01:16:48,140 --> 01:16:53,620
Well, that's because you spend more time
worrying about hen-laying than woman-laying.
1249
01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:57,360
You can't be quiet, can you?
1250
01:16:57,380 --> 01:16:59,220
Hey, watch it, shithead.
1251
01:16:59,500 --> 01:17:00,640
Control yourself.
1252
01:17:01,120 --> 01:17:01,800
What do you want to do?
1253
01:17:01,860 --> 01:17:04,280
Get fired over some half-wit tart?
1254
01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:06,560
Huh?
1255
01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:07,680
No.
1256
01:17:07,681 --> 01:17:08,681
No, I...
1257
01:17:09,540 --> 01:17:10,540
I guess not.
1258
01:17:20,300 --> 01:17:22,620
Thank you, Mr. Pillay.
1259
01:17:22,780 --> 01:17:25,140
What do you think of that, Mr. Pillay?
1260
01:17:25,720 --> 01:17:28,460
Bill, you mean he didn't fire her because
of the egg inducer?
1261
01:17:31,320 --> 01:17:34,420
Say, ain't you Charles de Gaulle?
1262
01:17:35,380 --> 01:17:37,080
Witness may step down.
1263
01:17:38,100 --> 01:17:39,540
Call your next witness.
1264
01:17:40,320 --> 01:17:44,420
The court would like to call Lance Gredit.
1265
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:47,120
Oh, God.
1266
01:17:47,700 --> 01:17:48,700
Lance!
1267
01:17:48,900 --> 01:17:51,960
I gotta stop smoking that scent to me
before going to bed.
1268
01:17:52,340 --> 01:17:58,620
Monsieur Gredit, do you recall meeting
secretly with that woman there?
1269
01:18:00,140 --> 01:18:01,140
Carol!
1270
01:18:01,480 --> 01:18:03,640
Oh, yeah, I've met her a few times.
1271
01:18:03,960 --> 01:18:04,960
Now and then.
1272
01:18:05,060 --> 01:18:09,700
Hmm, and, uh, can you tell us what
happened the last time you met, huh?
1273
01:18:10,100 --> 01:18:11,100
Yeah.
1274
01:18:11,180 --> 01:18:16,300
We had lunch and cocktails at a sidewalk
café a couple of weeks ago.
1275
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:20,282
Well, Carol, I think I do
know a few people who'd
1276
01:18:20,283 --> 01:18:23,140
be interested in what
your hero has to offer.
1277
01:18:23,520 --> 01:18:24,600
I love you.
1278
01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:29,860
You've always come through for me in every
way.
1279
01:18:30,220 --> 01:18:32,360
After all, what are older brothers for?
1280
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:34,480
Besides, it's not just for you.
1281
01:18:34,880 --> 01:18:38,000
I've always wanted to invest in an
egg-inducing machine.
1282
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:42,460
I hope this guy is worth all this trouble.
1283
01:18:42,700 --> 01:18:43,480
He is.
1284
01:18:43,540 --> 01:18:44,680
He's a genius.
1285
01:18:44,980 --> 01:18:47,840
And that jerk that he works for doesn't
recognize that.
1286
01:18:48,020 --> 01:18:50,600
But now with this money, he can do it on
his own.
1287
01:18:50,800 --> 01:18:51,980
Okay, you sold me.
1288
01:18:52,060 --> 01:18:53,060
It's a deal.
1289
01:18:54,260 --> 01:18:55,440
I had no idea.
1290
01:18:56,580 --> 01:18:58,180
Witness may step down.
1291
01:18:58,680 --> 01:18:59,680
Why, thank you.
1292
01:19:00,320 --> 01:19:02,920
The prosecution may sum up now.
1293
01:19:07,720 --> 01:19:15,140
Take you, Bill Arndt, and Carol,
the fifth of murdering your love.
1294
01:19:20,780 --> 01:19:23,380
The prosecution rests.
1295
01:19:25,640 --> 01:19:28,320
Thank you, Mr. Bonaparte.
1296
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:29,780
Yes.
1297
01:19:29,781 --> 01:19:32,920
As the jury reads the
verdict... Guilty, eh?
1298
01:19:33,480 --> 01:19:34,780
Very well.
1299
01:19:35,100 --> 01:19:38,200
Bill Andrews, Carol Griffith...
1300
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:44,400
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury have
found you guilty.
1301
01:19:44,700 --> 01:19:45,300
Guilty!
1302
01:19:45,640 --> 01:19:46,100
Guilty!
1303
01:19:46,360 --> 01:19:46,720
Guilty!
1304
01:19:46,820 --> 01:19:47,420
Guilty!
1305
01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:48,600
Guilty!
1306
01:19:50,460 --> 01:19:51,460
Guilty!
1307
01:20:21,050 --> 01:20:22,050
I...
1308
01:20:22,890 --> 01:20:24,050
Breathe 4 minutes.
1309
01:20:28,530 --> 01:20:28,930
No.
1310
01:20:28,931 --> 01:20:29,931
No!
1311
01:20:30,910 --> 01:20:31,310
Carol!
1312
01:20:31,311 --> 01:20:32,311
Bill!
1313
01:20:32,510 --> 01:20:33,510
Carol!
1314
01:20:33,750 --> 01:20:34,150
Bill!
1315
01:20:34,550 --> 01:20:35,550
How
1316
01:20:59,910 --> 01:21:02,130
can I ever ask you to take me back after
all I've done?
1317
01:21:02,390 --> 01:21:03,790
Ask me to take you back?
1318
01:21:03,850 --> 01:21:05,250
It was all my fault, my darling.
1319
01:21:05,390 --> 01:21:07,170
No, no, it was my fault.
1320
01:21:07,470 --> 01:21:09,390
Oh, darling, you're so sweet, but you're
wrong.
1321
01:21:09,470 --> 01:21:10,250
It was my fault.
1322
01:21:10,470 --> 01:21:12,330
No, no, it was my fault.
1323
01:21:12,430 --> 01:21:14,890
Oh, sweetheart, don't you remember?
1324
01:21:15,090 --> 01:21:16,470
I was the one who was wrong.
1325
01:21:16,810 --> 01:21:17,870
No, no...
1326
01:21:19,810 --> 01:21:21,970
Oh, sweetheart, don't you remember?
1327
01:21:22,270 --> 01:21:24,170
Oh, I've got to fight.
1328
01:21:24,210 --> 01:21:25,210
I've got my wings.
1329
01:21:25,350 --> 01:21:26,730
I've got my wankers.
1330
01:21:27,930 --> 01:21:29,290
Oh, I've got to fight.
1331
01:21:31,890 --> 01:21:32,830
They're back, back.
1332
01:21:32,910 --> 01:21:34,250
Oh, they're back together.
1333
01:21:34,750 --> 01:21:35,950
Thank you, thank you.
1334
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:44,760
These things don't work.
1335
01:21:44,900 --> 01:21:45,900
They don't work.
1336
01:21:46,820 --> 01:21:47,920
Yes, they don't work.
1337
01:21:48,760 --> 01:21:49,760
Yippee, yippee!
1338
01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:52,100
Goodbye!
1339
01:21:52,620 --> 01:21:53,060
Goodbye!
1340
01:21:53,440 --> 01:21:54,440
Good luck!
1341
01:21:55,520 --> 01:21:58,000
Dreams of hate are such tough.
1342
01:22:09,120 --> 01:22:13,760
So Bill and Carol were reunited,
thanks to the help of Judge Gabriel,
1343
01:22:14,020 --> 01:22:15,200
their guardian angel.
1344
01:22:15,580 --> 01:22:17,380
They soon got married.
1345
01:22:19,300 --> 01:22:21,360
It was a beautiful ceremony.
1346
01:22:21,820 --> 01:22:26,040
And they finally did learn to live with
each other's little idiosyncrasies.
1347
01:23:09,430 --> 01:23:13,890
I was eatin' at the club on a Saturday
night When this lady left a man and I had
1348
01:23:13,891 --> 01:23:17,290
to fight It was over in a second when I
put the sucker out And just for good
1349
01:23:17,291 --> 01:23:21,310
measure landed one in her jaw 86 that
place with the cops on my tail I pulled
1350
01:23:21,311 --> 01:23:24,250
out my revolver, no way I'd go to jail We
were swimmin' down the street,
1351
01:23:24,350 --> 01:23:28,590
shootin' at the lights Then I shot him in
the engine and I said good night Born in
1352
01:23:28,591 --> 01:23:35,750
the ghetto, now he's reached the top He
killed three people, including a cop
1353
01:23:36,790 --> 01:23:44,262
Jumped in his chest and he
blew you away Nobody knows how
1354
01:23:44,263 --> 01:23:49,210
he got this way They always
ask him, how'd I get so cool?
1355
01:23:50,030 --> 01:23:53,430
He never tells them, do you think I'm a
fool?
1356
01:23:54,470 --> 01:23:58,158
One rainy morning, I
got shot in the eye My
1357
01:23:58,159 --> 01:24:02,431
head Nobody cried when
they reported him dead
1358
01:24:06,630 --> 01:24:09,610
Cue it, cue it What you say?
1359
01:24:10,770 --> 01:24:22,390
Come on, baby Move a little closer You're
right next to me, honey What you say, baby?
1360
01:24:23,470 --> 01:24:26,650
You make my fang rang You know that?
1361
01:24:28,090 --> 01:24:29,090
Yeah.
1362
01:24:29,390 --> 01:24:31,090
Oh, don't do it anymore.
1363
01:24:33,350 --> 01:24:43,290
They say he's cool, there's nobody findin'
He owns a women from here to China Treats
1364
01:24:43,291 --> 01:24:51,050
them like dirt, then he walks away He'll
never know how he got that way Ha!
94850
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