Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,902 --> 00:00:02,602
- I'll admit it, guys.
We suck at chicks.
2
00:00:02,605 --> 00:00:05,806
- Yeah, man, 24 weeks
since we've kissed girls,
3
00:00:05,807 --> 00:00:06,807
besides our moms.
4
00:00:06,808 --> 00:00:07,807
- Okay, I was gonna say.
5
00:00:07,810 --> 00:00:09,208
- We got to do something
this weekend,
6
00:00:09,211 --> 00:00:11,211
or else I'm gonna
donate my dick to science.
7
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,311
- What we should do, really,
8
00:00:12,314 --> 00:00:14,847
is we should be
like those dudes on YouTube
9
00:00:14,850 --> 00:00:15,983
that, like, see hot chicks,
10
00:00:15,984 --> 00:00:18,484
and then they just go up to
them and just freaking scope
11
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:21,053
'em out and say, "You're hot."
Smooch 'em.
12
00:00:21,056 --> 00:00:22,489
- Love those guys.
- Surprise smooch.
13
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,923
You know,
they're caught off guard,
14
00:00:23,925 --> 00:00:25,859
but they like it because it
was an aggressive kiss,
15
00:00:25,861 --> 00:00:27,260
but it was done
in a tasteful fashion.
16
00:00:27,263 --> 00:00:29,663
- Aggressive kissing,
like Harrison Ford-style.
17
00:00:29,664 --> 00:00:31,765
- So you go that route.
I think I'm gonna class it up,
18
00:00:31,767 --> 00:00:34,134
probably get into wine,
so that hopefully, I can dine,
19
00:00:34,136 --> 00:00:36,302
and--fingers crossed--69.
- Good angle, Ders.
20
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,405
- Come here.
You want some sandwich?
21
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,307
I bet you're used to eating
garbage all day. Come here.
22
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:42,843
- Oh, God, Jillian's
dumpster-talking again.
23
00:00:42,844 --> 00:00:44,645
- Okay.
- Jillian, hey!
24
00:00:44,646 --> 00:00:45,712
Step away from the dumpster,
25
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,648
and let's go on inside
and talk to real people, okay?
26
00:00:47,649 --> 00:00:50,017
- No, no, no, there's
a little kitty cat in here.
27
00:00:50,018 --> 00:00:51,350
- You're talking to dumpsters.
28
00:00:51,353 --> 00:00:52,585
It's no big whoop, right?
29
00:00:52,588 --> 00:00:53,753
We're all a little crazy.
30
00:00:53,756 --> 00:00:55,722
- No, I'm not crazy.
There's a cat in there.
31
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:56,789
Oh, come on.
- Come on.
32
00:00:56,792 --> 00:00:58,292
- I scared her.
- Just get down.
33
00:00:58,293 --> 00:00:59,659
- She's in there.
Come here, kitty!
34
00:00:59,661 --> 00:01:01,161
- Sad.
- Nothing's there.
35
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,362
- I'll help.
- Sure, yeah.
36
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:03,563
- Come here!
- Jillian, stop.
37
00:01:03,566 --> 00:01:05,299
- Come here, little one.
- It's wet. It's wet trash.
38
00:01:05,301 --> 00:01:06,700
- Oh, gross.
- It doesn't smell great.
39
00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:08,734
- Oh, there you are!
See?
40
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:11,170
I told you I wasn't crazy.
[laughs]
41
00:01:11,173 --> 00:01:13,539
[cat growls]
- Ow, ow, ow!
42
00:01:13,542 --> 00:01:16,876
["Jockbox" by The Skinny Boys]
43
00:01:16,879 --> 00:01:17,743
♪ ♪
44
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:18,945
- ♪ I'm fresh ♪
45
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:19,947
♪ ♪
46
00:01:19,948 --> 00:01:22,114
♪ You gotta, we gotta,you gotta ♪
47
00:01:22,117 --> 00:01:24,317
♪ Gotta be fresh ♪
48
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,686
- Ohh.
- Right?
49
00:01:26,688 --> 00:01:30,189
- It is a cute little baby
kitty cat, isn't it?
50
00:01:30,192 --> 00:01:31,158
- She's special.
51
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,526
I mean,
she's a little dirty,
52
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,960
so you can't really
see her pussy,
53
00:01:33,962 --> 00:01:35,329
but we'll take care
of that, right?
54
00:01:35,331 --> 00:01:36,597
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, on that note,
55
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:38,031
I'm gonna walk away
and avoid any kind
56
00:01:38,033 --> 00:01:41,668
of responsibility for that
bootleg-ass Heathcliff. Bye.
57
00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:45,605
- He should've said, uh,
Garfield.
58
00:01:45,608 --> 00:01:47,608
- [chuckles]
Why?
59
00:01:47,609 --> 00:01:49,643
- Well, 'cause he's also a cat.
- Sure.
60
00:01:49,645 --> 00:01:52,111
- So I should've left
when Ders left, actually, so...
61
00:01:52,114 --> 00:01:54,814
- Yeah, probably.
- Yeah, yeah.
62
00:01:54,817 --> 00:01:56,883
- See ya.
63
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:57,484
Ahh.
64
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:58,852
[in British accent]
What should we name you?
65
00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:00,721
- [in British accent]
What should we name you?
66
00:02:00,722 --> 00:02:02,155
[normal voice]
How about Dumpster?
67
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,290
- Ooh, what about Bonnie?
68
00:02:03,292 --> 00:02:06,492
My aunt had a large-chested
friend named Bonnie,
69
00:02:06,495 --> 00:02:07,728
who I was always very fond of.
70
00:02:07,729 --> 00:02:09,596
- Classic.
- Yes.
71
00:02:09,598 --> 00:02:11,365
- What about Chastity?
72
00:02:11,366 --> 00:02:14,735
Nah, this cat [bleep].
- Yes.
73
00:02:14,736 --> 00:02:17,437
Well, my brain is fried,
74
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,538
and I'm starving.
75
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,774
- Me too.
76
00:02:20,776 --> 00:02:22,141
I could go for some...
77
00:02:22,144 --> 00:02:24,544
both: Denny's.
78
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:25,746
[cat meows]
79
00:02:25,747 --> 00:02:26,646
Denny's?
80
00:02:26,649 --> 00:02:28,681
- Denny's,
that's what we'll call you.
81
00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:29,983
- Hi, Denny's.
82
00:02:29,985 --> 00:02:32,451
- Our little cat, Denny's.
83
00:02:32,454 --> 00:02:35,021
- Oh, dude, check it out.
84
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,856
- Meth.
Okay, we're doing it.
85
00:02:36,859 --> 00:02:38,324
- No.
- I'm actually kind of excited.
86
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,127
I've always wanted
to--to have a taste.
87
00:02:40,128 --> 00:02:41,627
But I don't want
to lose me to it.
88
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:44,131
- What? No, dude, this
is wine--wine aerator, right?
89
00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:47,266
But, like, I put like seven of
them in the whole thing, so,
90
00:02:47,269 --> 00:02:49,870
like, basically,
it gets super aerated.
91
00:02:49,872 --> 00:02:54,373
That way, the classy chicks we
bring back here to drink it,
92
00:02:54,376 --> 00:02:55,942
they'll be drippin'
for a sippin'.
93
00:02:55,944 --> 00:02:58,245
- They're probably gonna be
warmed up from my aggressive
94
00:02:58,247 --> 00:02:59,513
surprise kisses.
- Exactly.
95
00:02:59,514 --> 00:03:00,813
- Right?
- Hey, guys.
96
00:03:00,816 --> 00:03:01,882
You got it?
- Uh-oh.
97
00:03:01,883 --> 00:03:03,949
Hey, ho, cat in the dog house.
98
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,185
Check it out. Yeah.
- Wow.
99
00:03:05,187 --> 00:03:07,120
- What's that big, dumb,
stupid thing?
100
00:03:07,122 --> 00:03:08,521
- Mommy made a--
made a cat tower.
101
00:03:08,524 --> 00:03:10,590
- Yeah, and we've decided
that this is officially
102
00:03:10,592 --> 00:03:13,492
Denny's home, so you'll be
seeing a lot more of me.
103
00:03:13,495 --> 00:03:14,394
Where are the keys?
104
00:03:14,396 --> 00:03:16,829
- I don't know
how to feel about that.
105
00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:18,431
But beer for my buddy.
106
00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:20,634
- Oh, thanks, dude.
- Hit that there.
107
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:21,901
- Pipe it up with my amigos.
108
00:03:21,903 --> 00:03:24,937
- Oh, wow, does Daddy
think it's a good idea
109
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,806
to smoke in front of Denny's?
110
00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:29,175
- Uh, yeah, actually,
you know what?
111
00:03:29,177 --> 00:03:30,509
I'm good off that.
- For real?
112
00:03:30,512 --> 00:03:34,014
- Yeah, I'm gonna pass
on grass tonight.
113
00:03:34,015 --> 00:03:36,283
- We are gonna go out though,
right?
114
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,019
- Right?
- Right.
115
00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:42,354
You don't care, right?
116
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,189
- Oh, me?
117
00:03:43,192 --> 00:03:46,960
No, go have fun with
Unkie Adam and Unkie Ders.
118
00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:48,328
- Unkie Adam, Unkie Ders.
I like that.
119
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,097
- Yeah, all right!
- All right!
120
00:03:50,098 --> 00:03:51,764
- Bye-bye, cat.
Meow!
121
00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:53,699
- I need this.
- Meow!
122
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:54,567
Bye.
123
00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:56,103
- Bye, cat!
124
00:03:56,104 --> 00:03:57,537
- All right, bye, sweetie.
125
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:58,437
Okay, sweet dreams.
126
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,073
You have fun with Mommy,
all right?
127
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,341
- Be good.
- Hey.
128
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:03,477
[mouths silently]
129
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,546
- Oh, let's do this.
130
00:04:07,549 --> 00:04:09,382
Pardon me.
- Oh, and excuse me.
131
00:04:09,384 --> 00:04:11,050
- Hello, bartender,
132
00:04:11,052 --> 00:04:14,121
I would like a glass
of your smoothest red wine.
133
00:04:14,122 --> 00:04:15,622
- How about a Cab'?
134
00:04:15,624 --> 00:04:17,957
- Uh, I just got here
in my own car,
135
00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:20,826
so I'll pass on the taxi
and take that red wine, thanks.
136
00:04:20,829 --> 00:04:23,863
You believe this prick?
Crazy, right?
137
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:30,704
- Yeah.
138
00:04:30,706 --> 00:04:33,473
- What's up?
- No.
139
00:04:33,475 --> 00:04:34,807
- I find you attractive.
140
00:04:34,810 --> 00:04:36,675
I do, and that's just a fact.
141
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,011
Do you find me attractive?
142
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:39,545
- Nope.
143
00:04:39,548 --> 00:04:40,713
- Surprise kiss.
144
00:04:40,716 --> 00:04:43,182
Ow!
I think you broke my nose.
145
00:04:43,185 --> 00:04:44,651
- Okay.
146
00:04:44,653 --> 00:04:47,887
- But I think, uh, if you guys
tasted a little wine,
147
00:04:47,889 --> 00:04:50,122
you might be--okay, all right.
148
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:51,557
Dude, any luck?
149
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,558
- No, zero.
150
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,995
- Yeah, they're definitely
not a classy crowd.
151
00:04:55,997 --> 00:04:58,398
- Look at this.
152
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,533
Oh, my, that dirty dog.
- What?
153
00:05:00,536 --> 00:05:03,069
- Then I pull out
her little can of cat food,
154
00:05:03,071 --> 00:05:05,237
and she makes this face at me.
155
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:06,773
Aah!
[laughs]
156
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,440
[women whimper]
Yeah, I know.
157
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,744
And I'm like,
"Did I rescue her,
158
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,411
or did she rescue me?"
You know?
159
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,814
- Aw, yeah.
- That's so philosophical.
160
00:05:14,817 --> 00:05:17,250
- She has the sweetest
little face.
161
00:05:17,252 --> 00:05:18,819
- Doesn't she?
- That goofy tongue
162
00:05:18,821 --> 00:05:21,021
isn't the cutest thing
I've ever seen.
163
00:05:21,023 --> 00:05:22,454
- Okay.
- Okay.
164
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,255
- Watch out.
165
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:26,026
I'm about to aggressively kiss
a girl by surprise.
166
00:05:26,028 --> 00:05:27,226
- Wait, no, no,
hang on, hang on.
167
00:05:27,228 --> 00:05:28,829
- I'm in love, yeah.
- That's adorable.
168
00:05:28,831 --> 00:05:30,529
- Hey, well, if you guys
want to meet that darn cat,
169
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,965
why don't you just
come back to our place?
170
00:05:31,966 --> 00:05:34,533
We're his roommates.
- Really?
171
00:05:34,536 --> 00:05:37,437
- Uh...yeah, yeah, yeah.
172
00:05:37,439 --> 00:05:38,771
Heck, yeah.
Sure, we could--
173
00:05:38,774 --> 00:05:40,372
we could probably wake her up
and say hi.
174
00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:42,509
Sure, yeah,
we could wake her up,
175
00:05:42,511 --> 00:05:44,845
say hi, right now.
- Very cool.
176
00:05:44,846 --> 00:05:46,413
- Welcome to my house.
177
00:05:46,415 --> 00:05:49,014
- Hey, look at the time.
It's already wine:30.
178
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,182
[laughter]
- Wine:30.
179
00:05:50,185 --> 00:05:52,586
- You guys are just, I'd say,
about eight minutes away
180
00:05:52,588 --> 00:05:57,389
from drinking the smoothest
2014 Brosé Mangria you ever had.
181
00:05:57,391 --> 00:06:00,360
Here we go.
- Oh, look at it go!
182
00:06:00,362 --> 00:06:01,761
- Right?
- Where's that cat?
183
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,663
I'm not dying
to meet it or anything.
184
00:06:03,665 --> 00:06:05,497
- Can we wake her up?
- Um...
185
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,533
- It's a miracle
you haven't already.
186
00:06:07,536 --> 00:06:09,369
- Jillian.
Hey, Mommy.
187
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,137
- Don't you "Hey, Mommy" me,
Daddy,
188
00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:12,939
barging in here
with these whores
189
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,274
like the beginning
of some crude stag film,
190
00:06:15,276 --> 00:06:17,776
just ten feet away
from where your cat sleeps!
191
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,012
- Okay.
- Oh, hey, hey!
192
00:06:19,014 --> 00:06:21,981
We heard all about Denny's and
we just wanted to meet her.
193
00:06:21,983 --> 00:06:23,283
- [mocking accent] Oh, did you?
- Yeah.
194
00:06:23,285 --> 00:06:24,884
- [mocking accent]
Did you hear about Denny's?
195
00:06:24,887 --> 00:06:26,353
[normal voice]
Do you have any cats? No.
196
00:06:26,355 --> 00:06:27,954
- I--
- No, I didn't think so.
197
00:06:27,956 --> 00:06:29,656
Because if you did, you
wouldn't be dressed like sluts
198
00:06:29,658 --> 00:06:31,591
and following home strange men
to pound Mangria.
199
00:06:31,593 --> 00:06:33,425
Blake, can I see you
in the kitchen for a moment?
200
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,995
- Mm-hmm, yup.
- We're not strange.
201
00:06:35,997 --> 00:06:37,197
- Yeah,
we're very non-strange.
202
00:06:37,199 --> 00:06:38,965
- By the way,
we are just minutes away
203
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,533
from the Mangria, ladies.
204
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:43,202
- Yeah, so, you know,
we didn't wake her up.
205
00:06:43,204 --> 00:06:44,504
And I didn't think
it was that--
206
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,706
- Yeah, that's right, Blake,
you didn't think.
207
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:48,774
Denny's was left for dead
in a dumpster,
208
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,810
and you didn't think
that maybe you shouldn't
209
00:06:50,812 --> 00:06:53,846
abandon her on the first night
of being her daddy?
210
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:56,783
- Hey, I mean,
I just figured, you know,
211
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,850
you're such a good mommy--
212
00:06:57,853 --> 00:06:59,519
- Don't you patronize me!
213
00:06:59,521 --> 00:07:01,353
- Okay,
how would I patronize you
214
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:04,557
when I don't even know
what that means?
215
00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:07,160
Okay?
[stammers]
216
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:08,495
What do you want from me?
217
00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:10,829
- I want you to be
a good daddy,
218
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:13,632
not some whore-mongering
night owl!
219
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,601
- Hey!
All right, at least those...
220
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:19,172
[softly] whores...
aren't crazy!
221
00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:20,606
- Oh! Oh, that's right!
222
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,442
Because I am crazy, right?
- Oh, yeah!
223
00:07:22,444 --> 00:07:23,742
- Okay, yeah, 'cause I'm crazy.
224
00:07:23,745 --> 00:07:25,377
You know what?
- Yeah, oh, what you gonna do?
225
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:26,745
- I'll show you crazy!
- Oh, yeah!
226
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,581
- Denny's needs her dad!
- No, no, no!
227
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,050
Throw 'em all over the place,
Jillian!
228
00:07:30,052 --> 00:07:32,952
- Denny's needs her dad!
- You fricking psycho!
229
00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:35,322
Don't you throw
the nice plastic plates!
230
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:36,956
- Denny's!
Because she needs one!
231
00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:40,060
- There's one
from Anders's birthday! Okay?
232
00:07:40,062 --> 00:07:41,261
- Ohh!
- No, let me help ya!
233
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:42,728
Let me help ya!
- You want to help me?
234
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:43,529
That's fine!
235
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:44,965
- Just throw 'em
all over the place,
236
00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:47,733
'cause I work
at a goddamned dead-end job!
237
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:52,305
I got the shortest straw,
didn't I, when I got you?
238
00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:53,939
You're throwing plates!
239
00:07:53,942 --> 00:07:57,209
[cat meows]
- She's awake now. Denny's!
240
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,579
- Oh, come on!
- Denny's!
241
00:07:59,581 --> 00:08:01,314
- Oh, come on!
242
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,314
- Uh, we should go.
243
00:08:02,317 --> 00:08:03,449
- Wait, no, no, guys, just,
244
00:08:03,451 --> 00:08:04,684
like, five more minutes
on the wine.
245
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:05,752
- Surprise kiss!
- Aah!
246
00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:07,721
You--God!
- Oh, [bleep].
247
00:08:07,723 --> 00:08:10,689
- All right, see ya at the bar,
maybe, next time.
248
00:08:10,692 --> 00:08:12,291
- Too aggressive?
249
00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:13,259
- I don't think so.
250
00:08:13,261 --> 00:08:14,927
- That's my point.
You're never here.
251
00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:16,428
- Oh, come on!
252
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,363
I have one cat,
253
00:08:17,365 --> 00:08:19,165
and now I can't leave
the fricking house?
254
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:21,768
You wanna know how many dinners
I had with my pops?
255
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:25,372
Nada, zero, zilch,
nothing, okay?
256
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:29,175
And I didn't turn out
to be a--any, uh, degenerate.
257
00:08:29,177 --> 00:08:31,811
- Keep telling yourself that,
Blake.
258
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,379
Say good-bye to Daddy.
259
00:08:33,381 --> 00:08:35,048
- Fine, go!
260
00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:38,585
I don't care, actually,
at all!
261
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,519
[voice breaking]
Oh, God.
262
00:08:40,522 --> 00:08:41,721
Oh, great, great.
263
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,756
- You know what?
Forget about that cat, okay?
264
00:08:43,759 --> 00:08:46,359
- No, actually,
don't forget about it,
265
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,129
because you are its daddy
and it is a little baby.
266
00:08:50,131 --> 00:08:51,965
So go fricking save
your baby, Blake.
267
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,033
Go.
- Mm-hmm, okay.
268
00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:54,634
- Go save the baby.
- All right, yeah. Hell, yeah.
269
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,135
- What are you doing?
This cat is problems.
270
00:08:56,138 --> 00:08:58,038
It's trouble.
- What is wrong with you?
271
00:08:58,039 --> 00:08:59,139
You almost blew it.
272
00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:02,107
The only reason that we had
those chicks over at our house
273
00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:04,376
was that cat
'cause chicks love animals.
274
00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:06,446
They love animals
even more than they love
275
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:07,880
surprise kisses.
- Mm-hmm.
276
00:09:07,883 --> 00:09:09,982
- So this is the angle,
right?
277
00:09:09,985 --> 00:09:11,051
- Yeah, okay.
278
00:09:11,052 --> 00:09:13,519
- So last night,
I was drunk.
279
00:09:13,522 --> 00:09:14,653
I said some things.
280
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,756
It was stupid.
I didn't mean it, all right?
281
00:09:17,759 --> 00:09:19,491
- I don't hate you, Blake.
- Okay.
282
00:09:19,494 --> 00:09:21,061
- And I don't want
Denny's to hate you,
283
00:09:21,062 --> 00:09:23,163
which is why I think
we should do a joint custody.
284
00:09:23,164 --> 00:09:25,764
I get her on the weekdays.
You get the weekends.
285
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:26,732
- Yes.
- Great.
286
00:09:26,735 --> 00:09:29,001
- Um, but actually,
it's Friday,
287
00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:30,870
so that's kind of,
like, technically,
288
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:31,937
the start of the weekend.
289
00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:33,639
- I didn't think about that.
- Yeah.
290
00:09:33,642 --> 00:09:34,774
- Here's her stuff.
291
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,076
These are her toys.
- Yeah.
292
00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:38,477
- And this is her catnip.
- I know.
293
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,245
- Carry it around at all times.
- Yeah.
294
00:09:40,248 --> 00:09:42,282
- Oh, and she only eats
off of a frisbee.
295
00:09:42,283 --> 00:09:44,650
It's the craziest thing.
- Yeah, I know!
296
00:09:44,653 --> 00:09:47,886
Okay, I-I know. I know
she eats off a frisbee, yes.
297
00:09:47,889 --> 00:09:48,687
I know my--
298
00:09:48,690 --> 00:09:50,423
- Everything okay here?
- Yeah.
299
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,692
- Everything's cool, Bill.
Thanks.
300
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:53,826
Yeah, she's with Daddy now,
301
00:09:53,828 --> 00:09:56,062
and I know how to take care
of her.
302
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,197
- Bye, Daddy.
303
00:09:57,198 --> 00:10:00,732
Ow!
Gosh, you got a nerve.
304
00:10:00,735 --> 00:10:02,168
No, go harder.
305
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,870
Work it out, betch.
306
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:07,139
♪ ♪
307
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:13,046
♪ ♪
308
00:10:13,048 --> 00:10:14,681
- Welcome to our house.
Come on inside.
309
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:15,682
- Hey. Wine is inside.
310
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:19,052
Okay, this party is popping.
What's going on?
311
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:20,820
- Yeah, it's kind of crazy.
312
00:10:20,822 --> 00:10:23,088
Way more people
than I was expecting.
313
00:10:23,091 --> 00:10:24,323
- I don't know.
both: Hey.
314
00:10:24,326 --> 00:10:26,292
- Where's the free cocaine
from the flyer?
315
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,394
- Wow, weird. "Free cocaine"?
It does say that.
316
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,895
That is weird.
I've never seen this before.
317
00:10:29,898 --> 00:10:31,431
I don't know anything
about that.
318
00:10:31,432 --> 00:10:33,932
But I do know that there's
about to be a falcon debut
319
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,368
happening in a few.
- That is true.
320
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:37,769
- I'm a falconer,
so that's exciting.
321
00:10:37,772 --> 00:10:39,371
- Hmm, I'm sorry
to be a wet blanket here.
322
00:10:39,374 --> 00:10:42,808
Uh, I don't know if this is
the best environment
323
00:10:42,811 --> 00:10:44,210
to be raising a cat.
324
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:47,514
- Denny's is a chick magnet,
just like my falcon
325
00:10:47,515 --> 00:10:48,847
is about to be a chick magnet.
326
00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:50,649
Ders, you better get
a bunny wabbit or something,
327
00:10:50,652 --> 00:10:52,485
or you're gonna be
sniffing on butt steaks.
328
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,653
- I wouldn't worry
about me, guys.
329
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,155
I think I'm gonna
have some dumb girl
330
00:10:56,158 --> 00:10:57,890
wrapped around my pinky
in no time.
331
00:10:57,893 --> 00:10:59,192
- Ooh-hoo.
- Because,
332
00:10:59,193 --> 00:11:02,427
while you guys are fighting
over some animal-lover girls,
333
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:05,899
I'm gonna track down me
a little animal hater.
334
00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,167
[cat meows]
- That's right.
335
00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:08,902
I'm calling it
"counter ho-gramming."
336
00:11:08,903 --> 00:11:10,602
- That is hella good angle,
337
00:11:10,605 --> 00:11:11,738
and I want to congratulate you
338
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:13,639
and wish you the best of luck,
in all seriousness.
339
00:11:13,642 --> 00:11:15,674
- Thank you. Boom and hello.
- Mwah.
340
00:11:15,677 --> 00:11:16,875
- Mwah-ah-uh-uh.
341
00:11:16,878 --> 00:11:18,510
- You know, I don't like
that we still do that.
342
00:11:18,513 --> 00:11:19,678
- Yeah, we don't have
to do that.
343
00:11:19,681 --> 00:11:20,947
- Yeah, we don't have to.
344
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,115
- Whoa, nice shot, sista.
345
00:11:23,118 --> 00:11:25,817
Hey, what do you guys say
we liven this game up,
346
00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:29,087
drop in a real, live gerbil,
kill it?
347
00:11:29,090 --> 00:11:34,059
Right?
Spinnies! [chuckles]
348
00:11:34,062 --> 00:11:35,427
No?
Okay.
349
00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:37,397
Well, be sure and try
the Mangria.
350
00:11:37,399 --> 00:11:38,764
It's pretty tasty.
351
00:11:38,767 --> 00:11:42,134
- Hey,
that wasn't such a bad idea.
352
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,836
The gerbil.
- Oh. Oh!
353
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,404
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
thanks.
354
00:11:45,407 --> 00:11:46,639
That was--you thought
it was pretty funny?
355
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:47,740
- I thought it was hilarious.
356
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,243
I love terrorizing animals.
- Ooh.
357
00:11:50,245 --> 00:11:51,878
- Do you want to come back
to my place?
358
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,580
I've got a couple
of tied-down raccoons
359
00:11:53,581 --> 00:11:56,048
that we can bash in
with hammers...
360
00:11:56,051 --> 00:11:58,017
unless you're a knife guy.
- Uh...
361
00:11:58,019 --> 00:12:00,485
- Oh, you're a knife guy.
I knew it.
362
00:12:00,488 --> 00:12:03,423
Oh, just do me already.
- I want to.
363
00:12:03,424 --> 00:12:06,826
- Hear ye, hear ye,
animal lovers!
364
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:13,099
Prepare yourself for the debut
of my pet falcon!
365
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,467
Okay, cool, you're listening.
366
00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,636
I love animals.
367
00:12:17,639 --> 00:12:18,738
They mean so much to me.
368
00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:25,010
So I would like to introduce
to all of you my beloved...
369
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:27,947
Beth!
370
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,316
Real falcon.
I just--I Amazon Primed her.
371
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,951
Turns out you can get--
get animals on there.
372
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:36,755
For Beth's first trick, she
shall fly through the kitchen,
373
00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:39,091
back to me, her master,
374
00:12:39,094 --> 00:12:42,427
Adam "the Animal Lover" DeMamp.
375
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,463
- Fly, Beth! Fly!
[falcon screeches]
376
00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:46,198
- Oh! Okay.
[crowd gasps]
377
00:12:46,201 --> 00:12:49,335
So now she's--she'll be fine.
She's gonna come back.
378
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,403
Did she poop on you?
379
00:12:50,404 --> 00:12:52,171
Uh, that--that's okay.
380
00:12:52,173 --> 00:12:54,340
I trained her to do such.
381
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:55,908
Beth?
382
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,910
Ca-caw!
Ca-caw!
383
00:12:58,913 --> 00:12:59,946
- Den--Denny's?
384
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,581
- That's really cool.
That's awesome.
385
00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:03,015
- I went to Tanzania
last summer.
386
00:13:03,018 --> 00:13:04,583
- Oh, wow.
- And I shot a rhino,
387
00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:06,552
and I sawed its horn off.
388
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,221
God, it was so hot.
389
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:09,422
- Yeah.
390
00:13:09,423 --> 00:13:11,224
- I still have the horn.
391
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,359
I'd love to peg you with it.
- Oh...
392
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,927
- But first I wanna
kill something
393
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,096
and get really hot,
you know?
394
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,298
- Yeah, oh, of course I know.
395
00:13:18,299 --> 00:13:22,100
One time,
I spit on this pigeon's face,
396
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,802
and then I got
a little boner--
397
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,871
big boner--pretty big boner.
398
00:13:25,874 --> 00:13:26,838
- Ooh, I know.
399
00:13:26,841 --> 00:13:28,541
Let's kill your friend's cat.
400
00:13:28,543 --> 00:13:29,942
- Oh, Denny's?
Oh--I--whoa.
401
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,911
- I'll go get you a knife,
Knife Guy.
402
00:13:31,913 --> 00:13:34,746
And you just get ready
to give me that lap dagger.
403
00:13:34,749 --> 00:13:37,049
- Ooh!
- I'm talking about your dick.
404
00:13:37,052 --> 00:13:39,951
- Yeah, I know.
I know. You grabbed it.
405
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,154
- Excuse me,
I have a baby coming through.
406
00:13:42,157 --> 00:13:43,088
Excuse me.
407
00:13:43,091 --> 00:13:45,857
Okay, just put you right to bed.
408
00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:47,393
Oh, you had me worried sick.
409
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:50,028
This party's a little
too crazy, huh?
410
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,264
Oh, no, no, no, no weed.
411
00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:53,332
Here you go, here.
412
00:13:53,335 --> 00:13:54,634
Yeah, have your catnip, okay?
413
00:13:54,635 --> 00:13:56,836
Daddy's gonna go party,
all right?
414
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,538
He's gonna go get twisted!
415
00:13:58,539 --> 00:14:02,607
Okay, oh, my gosh,
I am ready to party.
416
00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:05,544
- Serve my man up with some
of that indo, my dude.
417
00:14:05,547 --> 00:14:06,745
- Oh, I need it.
418
00:14:06,748 --> 00:14:10,283
I'm stressing.
- I thought I was your man?
419
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:13,852
- No, you're my dude.
Blake's my man.
420
00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:15,888
- [coughs]
421
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,190
Dude.
- Sticky, right?
422
00:14:17,192 --> 00:14:18,323
- What the hell is this, man?
423
00:14:18,326 --> 00:14:21,094
It tastes like Swamp Thing's
dingleberries.
424
00:14:21,096 --> 00:14:22,861
- Really?
I kind of like it.
425
00:14:22,864 --> 00:14:25,197
Whatever, it was free.
It was just sitting there, so...
426
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,666
- Huh?
No!
427
00:14:26,668 --> 00:14:29,402
- Finders keepers,
losers weepers.
428
00:14:29,403 --> 00:14:32,971
- Adam, this is, um...
this is catnip.
429
00:14:32,974 --> 00:14:34,539
- That's like the weed name?
Like a--
430
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,942
- No, I think
it's actual catnip.
431
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:41,279
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
432
00:14:41,282 --> 00:14:43,750
No! No!
433
00:14:43,751 --> 00:14:45,851
- [gasps]
[cat groans]
434
00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:46,952
[screams]
435
00:14:46,955 --> 00:14:51,490
♪ ♪
436
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,895
♪ ♪
437
00:14:57,798 --> 00:14:59,499
- Where are they?
- They're right there.
438
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:00,399
- Where are they?
439
00:15:00,402 --> 00:15:02,335
- And it's not all Blake's
fault, by the way.
440
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:05,437
- Wait, are you boinking Bill?
441
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,974
- Grow up.
[whispers] Yes.
442
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,475
- She's alive, barely.
443
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:11,910
Everybody, please back up.
444
00:15:11,913 --> 00:15:14,679
I said get back, get back,
get back, get back, get back!
445
00:15:14,682 --> 00:15:17,616
Go! Go!
Butts to the wall!
446
00:15:17,619 --> 00:15:21,721
Dear Lord,
bless these fingers once more.
447
00:15:21,722 --> 00:15:24,890
[dramatic music]
448
00:15:24,893 --> 00:15:26,658
♪ ♪
449
00:15:26,661 --> 00:15:28,226
[cat retches]
- Whoa!
450
00:15:28,229 --> 00:15:29,095
- Whoa.
- Ew!
451
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,296
- There's my girl.
- Dude.
452
00:15:30,298 --> 00:15:32,631
- There she is.
Old-fashioned stomach pump.
453
00:15:32,634 --> 00:15:33,865
- You're nasty.
- [laughs]
454
00:15:33,868 --> 00:15:35,902
Oh, thank God,
Denny's, you're all right.
455
00:15:35,903 --> 00:15:38,104
- You get back, Blake!
- Whoa!
456
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,139
- [sniffs]
457
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,407
Are you high right now?
458
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,442
- No, no, no, no, no.
459
00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:44,943
You're smelling catnip.
I smoked, uh, catnip.
460
00:15:44,946 --> 00:15:46,846
I can't feel nothing.
461
00:15:46,847 --> 00:15:48,181
- That cannot be true.
462
00:15:48,182 --> 00:15:50,850
I'm smoking it right now,
and I am...
463
00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:52,317
[imitates rocket lift-off]
464
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,388
- And this asshole
hates animals.
465
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:58,825
- [Ders on recording] One time,I spit on this pigeon's face,
466
00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:00,426
and then I got a little boner.
467
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,094
[all gasp]
- No, I didn't! I didn't!
468
00:16:02,096 --> 00:16:04,062
It was a big boner.
I don't have a little boner.
469
00:16:04,065 --> 00:16:05,630
So that's how you know
it didn't happen.
470
00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:08,634
- Did your "counter ho-gramming"
go as planned,
471
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,702
you chauvinist pig?
472
00:16:10,705 --> 00:16:11,403
Asshole!
473
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:14,105
This party sucks.
- So you were never--
474
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,341
- This is who you
surround my kitty with?
475
00:16:16,344 --> 00:16:19,010
Nip-smokers
and a pigeon-[bleep]?
476
00:16:19,013 --> 00:16:20,078
- Did you [bleep] a pigeon?
477
00:16:20,081 --> 00:16:23,883
- You will never see
her again, Blake.
478
00:16:23,884 --> 00:16:25,418
Say good-bye to Daddy.
479
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:26,451
- Oh, wait.
Hold up.
480
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,753
- Bill, warm up the car.
481
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,721
- What else you want me
to warm up?
482
00:16:29,724 --> 00:16:31,323
We talk like that now.
- Come on, wait.
483
00:16:31,326 --> 00:16:33,558
- Nice, dude.
- Hold up. Ders, what?
484
00:16:33,561 --> 00:16:35,695
- No, I didn't--why--
no, I spit.
485
00:16:35,697 --> 00:16:37,296
- Jillian!
Hey, hey, no, no, no, no.
486
00:16:37,298 --> 00:16:38,364
You can't do this.
487
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,764
Like, legally,
you can't do that.
488
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:42,033
- Oh, really? You want me
to call the cops, Blake?
489
00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:45,037
Is that what you want?
- No, what--we don't snitch.
490
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,606
- Look, Blake,
you're a good guy,
491
00:16:47,609 --> 00:16:50,109
but you're a [bleep] daddy.
492
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,245
[cat meows softly]
- I know, honey.
493
00:16:52,246 --> 00:16:53,178
Come on, Bill.
494
00:16:53,181 --> 00:16:55,548
- Hey, man, forget her.
Forget the cat, right?
495
00:16:55,549 --> 00:16:58,918
Why don't we go inside,
work some angles,
496
00:16:58,919 --> 00:17:02,355
drink a little vino?
497
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,021
- Yeah!
498
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:06,092
Whoo!
Cat's gone!
499
00:17:06,094 --> 00:17:07,326
[intense techno music]
500
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,196
Let's get loose!
Thanks, brother.
501
00:17:09,298 --> 00:17:10,396
- Oh...
502
00:17:10,398 --> 00:17:11,632
♪ ♪
503
00:17:11,634 --> 00:17:14,167
- Okay, no, that's--
[belches]
504
00:17:14,169 --> 00:17:15,368
That's cigarette butts.
505
00:17:15,370 --> 00:17:16,970
Want some?
- Nah, I'm okay.
506
00:17:16,972 --> 00:17:17,905
- Your loss.
507
00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:20,773
Oh, that looks like a really
good year red, doesn't it?
508
00:17:20,776 --> 00:17:23,476
Huh? Huh?
Yeah!
509
00:17:23,479 --> 00:17:26,680
- Hey, you broke my aerator.
- Now we're having fun!
510
00:17:26,682 --> 00:17:28,848
Come on!
Turn the music up, bud!
511
00:17:28,850 --> 00:17:30,149
What we got over here?
512
00:17:30,152 --> 00:17:31,918
Ooh, a Merlot, vino.
513
00:17:31,921 --> 00:17:33,619
Ders, you like that, huh?
514
00:17:33,622 --> 00:17:35,789
Oh, big old stout.
515
00:17:39,461 --> 00:17:40,560
Fancy Feast.
516
00:17:40,562 --> 00:17:41,828
[somber music]
517
00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:44,397
Tender Turkey Primavera.
518
00:17:44,399 --> 00:17:45,398
- Hey, um, look, Blake,
519
00:17:45,401 --> 00:17:47,233
we're gonna
get your cat Denny's back.
520
00:17:47,235 --> 00:17:51,338
- Yeah, and not because it
was a total pussy magnet,
521
00:17:51,339 --> 00:17:52,705
which it was.
- Totally.
522
00:17:52,707 --> 00:17:55,608
- But because you loved it.
- Yeah.
523
00:17:55,610 --> 00:17:56,476
- Daddy.
524
00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:59,680
- Actually, it's kind of creepy
when you say it.
525
00:17:59,682 --> 00:18:00,813
- Okay, so here's the deal.
526
00:18:00,816 --> 00:18:02,383
We go in, we grab Denny's,
and then,
527
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:05,085
when she grows up to be, like,
a lion or a tiger or a liger
528
00:18:05,087 --> 00:18:06,919
or whatever she is,
she'll be all yours, right?
529
00:18:06,922 --> 00:18:08,688
- That's not how cats work,
but yes.
530
00:18:08,691 --> 00:18:09,790
He's right.
- Really?
531
00:18:09,791 --> 00:18:10,991
- Also, we're gonna make it
532
00:18:10,992 --> 00:18:12,358
look like she just ran away,
all right?
533
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,861
I got some paint,
marshmallow paw prints.
534
00:18:14,864 --> 00:18:16,963
- That's very cute.
- Yeah, thank you.
535
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:20,867
- Okay, thanks, guys.
I appreciate it.
536
00:18:22,537 --> 00:18:25,505
Ow, you're up
my butthole, dude.
537
00:18:25,508 --> 00:18:26,839
- I'm sorry.
538
00:18:26,841 --> 00:18:29,209
- Okay, she's sleeping.
Shh.
539
00:18:29,211 --> 00:18:30,711
Go get your girl, boy.
540
00:18:30,713 --> 00:18:32,646
Go get her.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
541
00:18:32,647 --> 00:18:33,780
[falcon screeches]
542
00:18:33,782 --> 00:18:36,450
- Oh, my God.
No, it's Beth.
543
00:18:36,452 --> 00:18:38,351
Oh, I'm so good
at fricking birding.
544
00:18:38,354 --> 00:18:39,552
- No.
- Watch this.
545
00:18:39,555 --> 00:18:42,388
- Beth, come to me.
[falcon screeches]
546
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:43,257
- Blake.
- No!
547
00:18:43,259 --> 00:18:44,558
[bones snap]
[all scream]
548
00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:45,925
both: No!
- Shh!
549
00:18:45,927 --> 00:18:47,560
Jillian: Who's out there?
both: Shh!
550
00:18:47,562 --> 00:18:49,430
Jillian: What's going on?
- Go, go, go, go, go, go.
551
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,498
Go, go, go.
Jillian: Hey, who's out there?
552
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:52,532
- Denny's.
553
00:18:52,534 --> 00:18:55,001
["Jockbox" by The Skinny Boys]
554
00:18:57,539 --> 00:19:00,507
♪ ♪
555
00:19:01,242 --> 00:19:03,644
- Um, hey, uh...
- Hey.
556
00:19:03,646 --> 00:19:07,347
- I just want you to know
that I'm a bad daddy.
557
00:19:07,348 --> 00:19:09,782
- I'm also a bad mommy.
558
00:19:09,784 --> 00:19:11,350
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
559
00:19:11,353 --> 00:19:12,919
That's--that's not true
at all.
560
00:19:12,922 --> 00:19:15,388
- Uh-huh. It is true.
- No, no, no.
561
00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:18,925
- After I left your house
on Friday with Denny's,
562
00:19:18,927 --> 00:19:21,462
I was driving and texting.
563
00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:22,663
- That's okay.
- Yeah.
564
00:19:22,665 --> 00:19:24,498
- I ran a stoplight,
slammed on the brakes,
565
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,032
and Denny's flew
into the windshield.
566
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:29,302
Wham!
Died on impact.
567
00:19:30,204 --> 00:19:31,305
- Wait, so she was dead?
568
00:19:31,307 --> 00:19:33,874
Or is--she is--
she is currently dead?
569
00:19:33,876 --> 00:19:35,341
That's good to know.
Okay.
570
00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:36,476
- But that's not all.
571
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,779
I laid Denny's out that night
to bury in the morning.
572
00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:40,180
And in the middle
of the night,
573
00:19:40,182 --> 00:19:41,348
I woke up to a screech.
574
00:19:41,349 --> 00:19:43,649
And I'm not talking
about Dustin Diamond.
575
00:19:43,652 --> 00:19:46,352
Now it flew off before
I got a good look at it,
576
00:19:46,355 --> 00:19:49,056
but then I found paw prints
outside my apartment,
577
00:19:49,058 --> 00:19:50,290
and it was then that I knew.
578
00:19:50,291 --> 00:19:51,591
- Paw prints.
- Hmm.
579
00:19:51,594 --> 00:19:53,059
- Wait, knew what?
- Duh.
580
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:56,128
That a young griffin
had broken into my apartment
581
00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:57,530
and eaten our cat's corpse.
582
00:19:57,532 --> 00:19:59,532
- Yes, a griffin.
- Yeah.
583
00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:00,733
- The legendary creature
584
00:20:00,735 --> 00:20:02,269
that has the body
of a lion and the head
585
00:20:02,271 --> 00:20:04,605
and wings of a falcon.
all: Yeah.
586
00:20:04,607 --> 00:20:05,672
- Man, really?
- I mean,
587
00:20:05,674 --> 00:20:06,807
there's no other possibility.
588
00:20:06,809 --> 00:20:08,442
- There's literally
no other possibility.
589
00:20:08,444 --> 00:20:11,544
- It couldn't--it wouldn't be,
like, my pet hawk or anything.
590
00:20:11,547 --> 00:20:13,379
- Shh--sure couldn't be that.
591
00:20:13,382 --> 00:20:15,848
- Hey, Blake, I was hoping
we could put all the bad stuff
592
00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:21,254
behind us and have
a burial...together.
593
00:20:21,257 --> 00:20:23,991
- I'd like that...Mommy.
594
00:20:23,992 --> 00:20:26,760
- Thanks...Daddy-o.
595
00:20:26,761 --> 00:20:28,095
[somber music]
596
00:20:28,097 --> 00:20:30,230
- Good-bye, little angel.
597
00:20:30,232 --> 00:20:32,499
- I'll freaking miss you,
you jerk.
598
00:20:32,501 --> 00:20:35,335
♪ ♪
599
00:20:35,337 --> 00:20:38,038
- Magic!
600
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,040
- She sure was.
601
00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:41,508
[hawk screeches]
602
00:20:41,510 --> 00:20:42,509
Ah, a griffin!
603
00:20:42,511 --> 00:20:44,744
Go away, go away, go away!
604
00:20:45,946 --> 00:20:49,649
- Nope, that's just a hawk
I've never met before.
605
00:20:49,652 --> 00:20:52,452
I think I'll name her Beth.
606
00:20:52,453 --> 00:20:54,053
[hawk screeches]
- Oh!
607
00:20:54,056 --> 00:20:58,157
- Ohh...
- Nice.
608
00:20:58,159 --> 00:20:59,992
- Nice!
41004
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.