Original subtitles

Look at George Stone walking all alone.

What is on his mind?

He's got it made, made the grave. But something's not right.

I've been looking for you all day. Where have you been?

Taking care of some loose ends on a couple contracts.

A couple contracts, it'll be about $700 ,000.

Wow, that's terrific. Really terrific.

Have you seen McMahon?

Been looking for him. You know, our swinging boss is probably out balling

girl on a yacht.

More than one in a half dozen apartments he has stashed around town. Hey, you

know, he's really got the life. If we just had that kind of life.

By the way, you ready to go to the office? Yeah. Come on, let's go.

Listen, now don't forget about the party tonight, okay? Phyllis is. She's

planning quite a feast for us.

Moss has been banking on it for a week.

Ron, do me a favor.

Don't mention about McMahon's party tomorrow night. I don't want Moss to

I think you ought to let her go.

Not in your life, buster.

You know, you're the type of guy that likes to have all the fun. You know, by

yourself, right?

What you don't know, don't hurt her, all right?

Look, Phyllis and I have known McMahon's parties many times before. There's

nothing dull in our lives.

That, I call a delight.

How'd you like to have those legs wrapped around you?

I'd rather think of it as riding tall in a saddle.

Hey, wait.

Isn't that a delightful little chick? I've had lunch. Oh, boy.

Listen, let me tell you something about her. She doesn't wear pants.

You're putting me in.

No, no kidding.

You want to bet?

Twenty bucks.

You got a deal. It'll be a pleasure to take your money.

She is a real doll.

I followed her myself a few times, but I never had a chance to meet her.

I do happen to know, of course, McMahon is familiar with her. I saw him together

at lunch twice.

Oh? Anyway, she'll be walking up this certain flight of stairs pretty soon.

It's a shortcut on the way to the office.

Now listen, just forget about the money. You just bring the wine tonight, okay?

You got a deal.

Hey, man, I can't manage this.

Let's get in the back, huh?

Okay.

No, I wasn't.

What's the matter?

Mike, I can't do it.

I've tried it with many men before and I just can't do it.

Well, I'm not many men. What do you mean? What do you mean stopping out

What the hell's the matter?

When I was four years old, my mother and my father were in the bedroom.

They didn't know I was looking.

He took all of her clothes off.

And he raped her.

She didn't want to do it.

He raped her.

What does that have to do with you and me? I dig you. I really, I really dig

you.

When I was 14, I was collecting flowers on the hill.

It was just a beautiful day.

Then out of the bushes, my father came.

He grabbed me. He threw me down on the ground.

He kissed me.

He ripped my clothes off, and he raped me just like he did my mother.

I asked him why.

I asked him why.

Just take it easy.

No! No!

Listen to me, Joanie.

You understand?

It's going to be all right.

No!

All right, that's terrible. What does that got to do with us? I'm not your

father, you know.

Joanie, I mean, it's all right.

Listen, it's all right. I can't make it with men.

I've tried it before and I can't do it. But you've never tried it with me.

Mike, I like you, but I don't think... Well, I dig you. I really do. I really

dig you.

Just relax.

If you just relax, everything will be all right. But since it's my father, I

can't... I promise.

I... I don't know, Mike.

I do.

You're going to feel wonderful.

I can't do it.

Not with you, not with a man.

All right.

Okay, I can dig it.

Well, let's say, listen.

I'd say I'd take you to a little party tomorrow night.

We can see if you can make it with this, uh, this chick I know, huh?

A girl?

Yeah.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

It happened.

Yeah, I know that we only met tonight, but... I feel that I know you so well.

I'm glad that it happened.

I'd like to take you to Mom's for dinner on Sunday.

Would you go?

I really can't say. I might be busy.

I'm never too sure how my time is.

I realize that, Carol, but... I'll call and see if you're free.

Can I use the bathroom?

Of course, darling.

Are you free tomorrow?

I wonder if we can go on a picnic or something.

I can get my car and maybe we can go for a drive.

Would you like that?

We could maybe go to the beach or maybe to the mountain.

Dead as if there's any snow left.

Man, I could really dig on a chick like you.

I love you, Carolyn.

I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

Um, aren't you forgetting something?

Forgetting something?

Yeah. Ten dollars.

Well, folks.

You're now reading an example of my newest creation, turkey ala Phyllis.

That looks delicious.

Makes my mouth water.

I sure hope it tastes better than your steak ala Firestone.

What's steak ala Firestone?

Well, you see, Martha, last week Phyllis fixed a steak and it came out tasting

like rubber.

You have to take everything Ron says with a grain of salt.

And speaking of salt, would you pass the salt, Martha?

How about some stuff in Georgia?

I'd love some, thank you.

So, let's have a pickle.

Man, wouldn't it really be a ball if we were all sitting here nude?

you know, enjoying this feast.

And we could feed everybody, you know, like they used to do in the Roman days.

Glad you like it.

Here, try this on for a thought.

Glad you like it.

Listen, Phyllis.

Why don't you have an oyster here?

It'll prepare us for your church.

Come on.

George, have a carrot with me.

I'm making a riddle.

Hey,

I feel left out.

I have a wonderful idea, Martha. You know, if we could just put you on the

table, you know, I would just love to put whipped cream all over your belly.

Big apple, you know, nice, great, big apple.

Lewis, what did you put in this wine to make us all freak out?

You know what I like to do with those mashed potatoes, man? What? I like to

take an, at least like a potty cream, you know, just take and rub them all

you, just all over you, like a rub -a -dub -dub -dub, just all over you.

Then he peed it all off.

You people have the craziest imagination.

Hello?

Ron, this is McMahon.

Is George Stone there?

Yes, just a minute.

George, Miss McMahon might speak to you.

Miss McMahon, George.

I've been trying to reach you all day.

I got a couple contracts for the company. They're worth about $700 ,000.

need your approval on contract term changes.

I know. My secretary told me. You'll be at the party tomorrow with those

contracts ready for signature.

All right. I have them prepared now.

By the way, George, how is Martha?

She's fine.

Why don't you bring her to the party tomorrow? I haven't seen her for quite a

while.

I'm sorry, Mr. McMahon. I don't think she can make it.

Besides, she did clean away.

See you tomorrow.

Try to bring her if you can.

All right. Bye.

Well, another one of those parties?

I'm afraid so. The Almighty White Father has spoken.

I want to go with you. No.

Please. come on george let her go yeah george don't be a funny buddy

mary

i

just got through talking to george and i tried to tell him to bring martha to

the party tomorrow i've been hoping to get into that little cutie

After she's through with you, maybe she'll do a little number with me for a

welcome release.

Mrs. McMahon, are you trying to horn in on my conquest again?

For God's sake, Mary.

You want to get arrested for being a nut?

You're just jealous because he doesn't like you.

Look,

we're having a party, Ms. McMahon, tomorrow night, and I want you to get

straightened out and get rid of this damn parrot.

Up yours, Doc.

Up yours, Doc.

Look, my fine -feathered friend, I'm going to pull all your feathers out one

these days and feed you to the next -door neighbor's cat.

Over my nude body. That will be a pleasure also. Over your nude body.

Thank you.

Thank you.

that's closed around the house.

That doesn't mean there's anything queer about him. Something very, very

strange. I don't know. Everybody looks at him very peculiar.

Hello, dear. This is great.

This is fun.

Lovely.

Oh, okay.

Oh, boy, this is the part I don't like.

Oh, darling, now be careful. You remember what happened last time. Yes, I

George. What'd you say, honey?

George, do you really have to go?

When a man gives a party, I'm expected to be there.

Business. Do you definitely have to go?

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

Do you definitely have to go?

Business is business.

I have to go.

Nothing is ever definite.

Then why can't I go with you?

In all probability, you wouldn't enjoy it.

I'll be too busy making contacts or spending time with you. You'd be on your

own. You know how you are around strangers.

You'd be bored.

Bored? Bored? I'm bored now.

But what's that got to do with us doing anything together?

After McMahon's parties, you're no good in the sack for a week.

It's business, Martha. You like to eat, don't you?

Can't we go to a party together?

Have a party?

Something. Anything.

It isn't the kind of party you're used to.

But maybe I'm wrong.

What kind of party do you have in mind, Mrs. Stone?

I don't care. I just want to be with you.

Oh, yeah?

That's nice.

You like that, huh?

You want to have your thing, huh?

No, I want to have your thing.

Take me to your party.

You'll be sorry?

You want to take me, don't you?

Baby wants her thing.

I want to come, George.

Thank you.

Mrs. Stone's turning on.

Why don't you try the rest of it on?

Oh, this is crazy. What did my wife say?

Oh, she'll never find out. She'll never find out. And that gang downstairs?

I'll never tell them. I'll never tell them.

Put it on. Put it on.

Why not?

Why not? I'm game for anything else. all that booze you had. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my.

Well, you look like my wife. Put that on.

Good Lord, if she's this fat, we don't have to worry about that, do we?

Oh, I didn't know you were this cute. You know that? I need a girdle.

Oh, look at you.

In there.

Look at him there. Is that something?

What do you think about that, Polly? Hmm?

Let's go get another one.

Thank you.

be in such a hurry. You don't give me time to think.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Discovery. Have I got a great idea? Have I got a girl for you? Oh, come on.

Come on! Come on!

I would like to have you meet my husband.

Oh.

Okay, that's... How very fascinating.

It's hard to break into this town, especially if you're serious about

I disagree.

It's like everything else in life.

You need to know the right people.

That's true.

But most people are phony.

They come on to me.

Stick with me, baby, and I'll see your name in life.

Is that what you want?

Well, yes.

The way everyone wants to be a star, I suppose.

But that should all happen as a logical result of being proficient in your

craft.

What are you doing

here? I was invited by McMahon himself.

Aren't you a little young to be here?

Not really. I happen to be an accountant in McMahon's office.

Really?

Are you having a good time?

You bet I am.

Just saw that fat Nancy broad take her transvestite husband down and introduce

him to a drag queen.

What a riot that was.

What about you?

You don't know what you really missed. I just saw Rita getting toweled by the

whole group and it really turned me on. Like you wouldn't believe.

No kidding.

Yeah, it was great.

You mean like this?

Oh, wow, yeah, like that.

Like that, huh?

Yeah, Mom.

Don't stop.

Want some more?

Yeah.

Oh, don't stop.

Ball babies.

The last time I balled you, it cost me a ten spot.

And now you want me to do your thing?

Oh, yes, please.

Okay, fork over $10.

Here.

but that's going to cost you an extra ten.

I love you now.

Doesn't that make you feel more secure?

No, no, no.

That's not what I mean.

I'm not questioning your sincerity.

What I want to know is, can you help me get ahead?

Thank you.

You look delicious.

Why, thank you. It's a pleasure to see you again. I've been thinking about you

for quite some time.

Why, Mr. McMahon.

How in the world did you manage to get George to bring you?

It wasn't easy.

I'll bet it was hard.

Actually, I made it hard for him. Then it was easy.

Did you get the contract from George?

Of course, my dear.

He's going to make $35 ,000 off of those commissions.

That's just wonderful. There's this new house we've been wanting to buy.

And besides, I'm going to give him a big raise.

Not compared to the raise I'm going to give you right now.

Oh, well, that's all right.

Oh, wow.

If it gets any bigger than it is now, it'll be bigger than both of us. This

got to see.

Okay.

Kiss me darling, kiss me.

Okay.

You'll never be back.

Oh, honey, I'm not very comfortable.

Oh, come on. I'll make you more comfortable. Come on.

Oh,

honey, my earrings.

Oh, the hell with the earrings.

Hey.

Come on, let's get this thing.

Martha?

Hello,

Martha.

I think it's about time I caught you.

I've been trying to catch you away from your husband all night long.

He just won't leave you alone, will he?

I was wondering if you'd ever get away from Philip.

No, I've got to.

Oh, no, no.

Let me be underneath this time.

But maybe I can't find it. I know, but I haven't seen it in years myself.

so so

Well, that's a start. There's nothing more. Come on. Let's see what he can do

here.

I got two of them.

What good does it do me?

Well, I mean, you got two tables.

That is right. There it is. Yeah, so there's much better.

Martha?

Having fun?

Yes, darling, I am.

Well, I can see.

Exactly what did you mean by that?

I think you know what I meant.

Now you know how I felt with all those other parties.

Very funny, very funny.

I thought so.

I want you to call it while you are my wife.

I'm ready to go home any time you want.

I feel like taking you home right now.

But you can't, can you?

This is a business party, remember?

Seeing how the rest of the world lives. How does it look?

Makes you wonder.

Where's Martha?

Where's Ron?

I don't know.

I don't particularly care right now either.

Do it to your friend before he does it to you.

You're saying you don't want me?

Don't say that.

Know better you do

You're

going to pass this up, I don't think you'd do something like that George you

bitch

Let me out.

Oh, nice. I like that. That feels good.

Don't stop.

Oh, that feels so good.

That feels so good. So good. Wonderful.

Oh, don't stop.

So good. Where have you been?

I never knew I'd like this.

I've never been turned on like this.

George!

George, don't hurt her.

Tight bitch.

Oh, George, I'm so glad you're back.

Sorry, honey, I just didn't realize until last night.

What do you mean?

McMahon's party, 10 % business, 90 % pleasure.

All screwing around, I just didn't know what I was doing with our relationship.

It was quietly tearing me to bits.

I never really needed any of that.

I just kind of got caught up in it.

When you caught me on that couch, I was never so... Neither one of us need

McMahon or his parties.

I can make just as much money without his damn orgies.

Can we get the house now?

Yeah.

Now that we're continuing squares, what are we going to do for a second?

We could start by having a family.

Mr. Stone wants a thing.

That's right.

Mrs. Stone wants her thing.

Not a cowcat.

Mrs. Stone wants her thing.

Mrs. Stone wants her thing.

Mrs. Stone has found her thing.

She's home.

Mrs. Stone has made her claim.

Mrs. Stone has made her claim.

Mrs. Stone has made her claim.