Original subtitles

Sync & corrections by Costa Dax & chamallow

Oh, God.

I love you.

Oh, you.

Good morning.

Goddamn. I woke up so horny.

- Oh... - This happens every month.

Yeah, okay. Get your naked ass off me.

Hey, don't touch anything.

- Oh. - Those are my good sheets.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, we better have tampons.

None of that light days bullshit.

Oh, come on, baby. Come on.

Hey, honey.

Give me a smile. Come on.

Time's Up, jackass!

No, a D is not a passing grade.

I'm not gonna call your parents.

All right? We don't do that when you're in college. All right, so... ?

Just come during my office hours and we'll figure it out.

Yeah, any time after 4:00.

No, any time after... I'm sorry, I got to go.

- Did you see what's outside? - No. What?

Aww. Better view from upstairs. Let's go.

Covert op.

Good morning. Ooh!

- You're a savage. - She made me do it, I swear.

- But why?

- Why? - Oh, there's a guy moving in next door.

- Holy shit. - Oh...

- Hot, right? - Wait, wait, Finley, Finley.

- What's wrong with her? What is she doing? - Hey, how are you?!

I'm Finley!

Hi. I'm José.

Welcome to the neighborhood!

Thank you.

I don't live here.

You know what? I'll come down in a bit.

Okay.

Dude, that could be your future husband.

Oh, great. He'll probably propose before you do.

- Hey. - Mm.

- Ooh, shots fired. - That-that feels right.

- Mm-hmm. - I am committed, okay?

- We live together. - Yeah, and you're cute

when you're defensive.

- I got to get to work. - Oh, bro,

- you're gonna have to drive. - What the fuck?

I thought you were picking me up.

Yeah, we had some slight transportation issues.

- Why you gotta be so stupid? - Oh, boy, do I have...

What?

When are you gonna propose to her?

- I know. I know. - Yeah?

'Cause she's gonna kill you if you don't do it soon.

I'm gonna do it. The ring is literally in my car.

Okay, so when? What are you waiting for?

- I just have to tell my dad about it first. - Dani.

He's never gonna think she's good enough for you.

That's...

Micah.

He's right outside, with his, like,

body and I think I'm gonna invite him in.

- No. No. - Yeah, I think that sounds good.

- Finley, you're not... no... - I think that's good. Ha!

Oh, God.

- Hello again. - So sorry to rush you,

but the graphics team needs an answer.

Do you like the adjustments they made?

Yeah, that equal sign in the E is brilliant, actually.

Okay, good. I'll let them know you're happy,

and we'll get them ready for the rally tonight.

Oh, and your 10 a.m. got bumped up to 9:30,

so I'll meet you at 8:00.

Okay, great. I'll see you at the office.

- See you then. - All right.

Hey, Angie?

♪ I know that I'm gone, they see me blowing up... ♪

- _ - Ange?

♪ I got two twin Glocks, turn you to a dancer ♪

_

_

Angie, your ride is here.

♪ I got the blue, what you want? ♪

_

Did you eat breakfast?

No, I'm good.

I asked if you ate.

Yeah, I said I'm good.

Okay. You're good.

Love you.

Have a great day.

Angie?

Angie?

I'm playing. I love you back.

- Very funny. - Mm-hmm.

But not really. Mmm.

- See you. - Bye, sweetheart.

- Please put it away. - You can't have that.

- Yes, I can. - No, you can't have that.

Guys?

Where the fuck does your mom keep the good spatula?

- Spatula's in the sink. - What?

- Hi. Good morning. - Hi. Mm...

- Good morning. - Guys, Alice is making you breakfast.

That's so nice. What do you say?

Thank you.

You know, when I was a kid, uh, my mom made me split

a SlimFast shake with her for breakfast.

You're not our mom.

Oh, yeah, no, I sure do know that.

- Hi, hi, hi. - Hi.

What's happening? Today's Alice's day to drop off the kids.

Oh, sh... I'm sorry.

- Hi, Alice. - It's-it's... Oh. Yep... oh. Two.

- Uh... It's fine. It's great. - You sure?

- 'Cause I can go if you want. - No, it's not.

The schedule is in your calendar.

- I'm sorry. I didn't see it. - Yes, you did.

- Did you want to take them? - Oh, no. It's fine.

- That's not the point. - No, but it really is fine.

No, it's really not fine.

It's not a big deal if she wants to take them.

- I... I'm okay if you're okay. - Yeah, and I'm the... same.

- Both are good. - None of this is good.

I want to go with Mom.

Great. Problem solver. It's good.

Are you sure?

- No. - Yeah.

Really. It's so great. I have a huge day at work. It's just...

- Okay. Thank you. - Yeah, sure, sure.

Okay. Eli, Olive, come on, backpacks. Let's go.

Oh, the girl who does my nails loves your show.

- Huge fan. - Oh, yeah?

- She says it's very cute. - Mom.

- Stop. - You know?

Thank you.

Okay.

Okay, Alice. Lunches.

Lunches?

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Here.

- Thank you. - I love you guys.

Okay, love you.

- Have a good day. - Bye, yeah.

Bye. Bye, sweetie.

- Bye. - Yep.

- You get it. Yep. - Mm-hmm.

- Bye. - Thank you. Bye.

- Okay, we're gonna wave at the window. - Yeah.

- We'll do the window thing. - Okay, we're gonna wave.

Okay.

- Here... - Bye!

- Oh! There they are again. - Bye, guys.

- Bye. - I love you. Have fun.

- Okay. Bye. - Bye.

- I still see you. - Do we do the whole time?

What a fucking bitch.

Oh, I thought w... Oh, you're serious?

Yeah. I mean, she can't just come into our home

and take over like that.

Well, it used to be her home, is the thing.

Can you please commiserate rather than rationalize?

Oh, Nat, I don't want to do therapist-speak.

Okay, she can't barge in here anymore. I'm gonna call her

- and tell her to... - No, no, no, no.

If you do that, then she'll tell the kids,

they'll hate exactly one person. That's this guy.

I just want you to feel like you're part of this family.

Because you are.

You're cute.

- Yeah... - I'm serious.

I know.

And you're cute.

Can we talk about something else now?

What time do you have to leave?

Seven minutes.

Do you want to see if we can do it in six?

- Yes, I do. - Yes.

Ow.

Oh, my God, is it mooing?

Thank you very much

for flying with us, Ms. McCutcheon.

I look forward to seeing much more of you in the future.

Yeah.

- You know the bartender from Black? - Oh, mm-hmm.

- She broke up with her boyfriend. - Yeah.

And last night, I finally get a text from her.

And she's like, "U up?"

And I'm like, "For you, Kween? Yaas".

Oh, yeah? Did you say it just like that?

I texted it, but yeah.

Problem is,

I only have enough gas in my car

for a one-way trip to the Eastside.

So, I go over there, we fudge... it is awesome...

but this morning, I snuck out,

left my car, stole her bike...

Look at us.

Still to work on time and shit, though.

Your shirt's on backwards.

Balls.

You could give the woman her bike back.

Dude, I absolutely cannot do that.

That's so freakin' embarrassing.

- Morning, boss. - Hey. Morning.

- Uh... ooh, coffee. - Uh, hey, Alice, can I get five minutes?

Oh, no, I can't right now. I have a brunch.

Well, I have a new guest idea I want to pitch.

Okay, and I want to hear it, so I'm gonna see you

- in the writers room at 1:00. - Great. I'll see you then.

What are these doing on my desk?

The art department wants you to choose the hero mug.

You want one lip or three lips?

I think they're mouth lips, but they could be vagina lips.

- Really, there's no way to tell at this point. - I like the three.

Does it block my face? Is it too big?

- No, it's great. - I like that one.

I'll let them know. Sign that, please.

Okay.

You're here!

- I'm here. - Here!

I can't believe you're really here.

Look at you.

Do you really live in L.A. again?

- Oh, my God. Hi. - Look at this face.

- I miss this face. - Ugh... Oh, Finley. Shane.

- Shane, Finley. - How are you?

- Hey, how are you? - This is just absolutely incredible.

- You think? - Yeah. Look what you did for yourself.

- It's outstanding. - Oh, man.

This doesn't seem real, that you're back.

It's like, "Ah!" you know?

I promise you it's real. But it doesn't feel real, I know.

Okay, I'm starving. Can we go eat,

- and I'm gonna show you everything later? - Yeah.

Oh, the little... see the puppet people, though?

- Is that... - Come on, come on, come on. I'll show you later.

Wait. Wait, but... but you sold the salon in Paris?

- Yeah. - Okay. What about the one in New York?

Got rid of it, too.

So what are you gonna do now?

I don't know.

- Okay. Okay. All right. - Okay.

- Do you like your new house? - Yeah.

Yeah, it's, uh, it's good. It's empty.

Let's send a bed to her house.

- Oh, absolutely. - No, no,

- I can do that myself. - No, of course you can, but you won't.

- I'll have Finley come help you. - I don't need it.

It's already done.

So, are you happy you're back at least?

Yeah. I am.

- Mm. - What the fuck spilled in here?

- Don't look at me like that. - I can look at you

any way I want to look at you.

Have you spoken to her yet?

No.

I don't, I don't plan to.

Well, you know, I'm just asking you 'cause I missed you.

And, in all honesty, I believe I missed you more.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I missed you more.

- Mm-mm. It's not a contest. - It is, and I'm gonna win.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm parenting, Shane. It's a whole thing.

You know, and you're doing great.

- You're doing great. - You know, I'm still stepping on those Legos,

and those things are fucking deadly.

You should switch to Lincoln Logs. They're way less hazardous.

- Oh, my God, 'cause they're round. - Wait, what, wait,

why couldn't you all have just moved into your place?

Well, that wouldn't solve the problem

'cause the kids would still have to come with us.

- Mm. - But, you know,

my mom's still living in my house, so it's fine.

- And how is Lenore? - Oh, stop.

- What? - No. Really.

Are you trying to fuck my mom?

I'm-I'm asking you how she is.

I can't believe you still want to fuck my mom.

Excuse me.

She's an attractive woman, Alice.

Yeah, I-I'm at breakfast. It's not really a good time.

Can I call you back?

Tina.

♪ I don't want to be ♪

♪ On the ground when the time flies ♪

♪ Had so many friends going, "Wonder when it's my time" ♪

♪ I live every day like I'll die by the nighttime ♪

♪ It took me so long getting back to my right mind... ♪

... vision of race and class hold up in modern times?

And how does race dictate what happens to characters in the book?

Okay, when analyzing the characters in "Don Quixote",

these are the questions I need you guys to keep coming back to.

Just like last week when...

One second.

Thanks. Okay.

Uh, let's everybody write a paragraph

on what Don Quixote wants when the story begins.

Hey, Angie, can you grab your things, go see Mr. Bennet?

- Okay. - Yeah.

I'm sorry your grandma's unwell.

Thanks.

I lost my grandma when I was much younger than you

and I always felt like

I didn't get to say what I needed to say to her.

That's her.

- That's my cousin. - Okay.

- Yes. - Okay.

Well, I hope your grandma feels better.

- Mm-hmm. Thank you, thank you. - Family's important.

♪ I don't fall in love 'cause I be loving hard ♪

♪ Do everything like my shirt, extra large ♪

♪ I don't care I'll crash a Ghost ♪

♪ Got two cribs in two states, I be doing the most ♪

♪ I got white folks money that I won't blow ♪

♪ And if you ask why 'cause the white folks don't ♪

♪ Big bank take lil' bank, bank... ♪

- Did he buy it? - Yes!

- I can't believe you pulled it off. - Dude, I told you it'd work.

Do you want to smoke?

Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

♪ Don't talk to me ♪

♪ For a show 150, don't talk to me ♪

♪ You ain't never helped your mans, don't talk to me ♪

♪ You just follow all the trends, don't talk to me ♪

♪ Ay, I set the bar, I'm the fucking bar ♪

♪ Big bank take lil' bank, bank ♪

♪ Big bank take lil' bank, bank ♪

Tina, stop worrying.

Four AP classes and a school play

is not too much. She can handle it.

All right, if she falls behind, we'll just get her a tutor.

She's a smart kid, she'll be fine.

Yes, I will say it nicer than that.

Okay. Bye, Tina.

- Hey, everybody. - Hey.

So, we have several potential donor meetings set up for today.

Every name on the list

carries tremendous weight within their communities,

and all were instrumental in electing Garcetti.

So they're "friends of the party"?

Got to love the dog and pony show.

- Hi. - Hi.

I took another stab at your speech

for the outreach forum tonight. It's in your inbox.

Great. If you could get me a hard copy on my desk,

- I'll make notes as soon as possible. - Perfect.

Ms. Porter, here are the specs for the Green New Deal.

Thank you, Allie.

All right, first up, Rodolfo Nùñez,

President of Nùñez Inc.,

an L.A.-based, minority-owned investment company

with a philanthropic reputation.

He's got pull in both the Latinx and the Persian communities.

Jesus. That's half the city.

Exactly.

Dani. Your father got pulled away

- and he can't take his next meeting. - What happened?

He didn't say, but he asked that you take his 2:00 p.m.

- in the conference room. - Who's in there?

Mayoral candidate Bette Porter.

Isn't she trailing Milner?

She is, but she's poised to close the gap.

Brief me.

If elected then Porter'll be L.A.'s first female mayor.

She's also the first openly gay candidate.

Her views are very progressive.

Ms. Porter.

Dani Nùñez, Director of Communications.

Pleasure to meet you. This is Pierce Williams, my campaign manager.

Yeah, I believe we met on Garcetti's first bid.

- Yes. Good to see you again. - Likewise.

My father's deeply sorry, but he won't be able to make it.

Oh, well, I hope everything's okay.

I'm sure it will be. Please, have a seat.

So you work for your father?

I do.

I like to think I was bred for the job.

I studied Communications at Stanford

and then I did my graduate work at USC,

but it is possible there was some nepotism involved,

if that's what you're thinking.

You feel close? Do you feel it?

No. No. None of them are right.

No. They don't feel like me.

At least Dr. Oz is a vaginal steaming advocate.

I did vaginal rejuvenation in '04.

- Have vaginas changed since then? - No, they have not.

- No. - I know it sucks, but,

hopefully, if we give the network this win,

they'll be more inclined to allow us to stretch

to include more politically-minded candidates.

Right, like my beloved Roxane Gay.

Exactly.

I got a phone call this morning

from an old friend of mine from grad school.

She's working as an aide to a very interesting person.

Okay, listening.

The network wants to broaden our demographic.

They want to attract a more far-reaching audience, right?

Alice wants to keep it queer, queer-adjacent,

uh, social, political.

Who's it gonna be? I smell an Obama coming.

Kamala.

Can you get her?

Yeah. I interviewed her for a documentary

I made on criminal justice reform back when she was a D.A.

This is amazing. You have to book her.

I cannot wait to ask her real but also inappropriate questions.

- Right? - Oh, my God.

I'm so glad you're here this season.

It's all happening.

I'll keep Dr. Oz warm, just as a backup.

- Okay, we're not. Yeah, yeah. - Okay.

Okay, let's get some questions. Let's go.

We want to convert the Lincoln Heights Jail

to expand our corporate offices.

We know it's been a hotly contested area,

but we do have capital in place

to invest in a project of that scale.

I just, I have to ask: What's the source of your capital?

My father's political contributions,

they're made through our foundation,

entirely separate from our family's company.

I don't think you answered the question.

We have a diverse portfolio.

Investments in everything from

- biomedical research to agriculture... - And the funding for the biomedical research,

does that come from the sale of pharmaceuticals?

We design prosthetics for Wounded Warriors, Ms. Porter.

I understand,

but do you also invest in the production of opioids?

Prosthetics don't pay for themselves.

I see.

Our only interest here

is finding the best person to run this city,

and we believe that person is you.

I'm not buying what you're selling.

Our current mayor bought it.

I'm not him.

Ms. Porter.

Do you know why I'm running for office?

I can't say that I do.

It's because of people like you.

The products you're pushing are the cause of suffering.

They have contributed to the worst opioid crisis

our city has ever faced,

and that property that you want to turn into corporate offices,

that could be used as a long-term rehab facility.

And while I might understand the willful ignorance

of a straight white man, I'm having a hard time understanding

how you could turn a blind eye.

So I guess what I really want to know is

how the hell do you sleep at night?

My job is to introduce you to potential donors.

Nùñez is a big player.

I've told you, I'm never taking money from big pharma.

I know you have a sensitivity around that particular issue,

- but you need... - Fuck sensitivity.

Don't ever set up another meeting like that again.

I am not willing, under any circumstances,

to compromise my values.

Noted.

- That meeting never happened. - Never happened.

- Never happened. - Never happened.

Well, that was a fucking shitshow.

- I'm sorry, Dani... - In the future,

you need to either take those meetings yourself

or prep me better.

She made me feel like an idiot.

- Where were you, Dad? - We have a problem.

- What is it? - One of our employees' son's overdosed.

You're going to take point on this.

Get ahead of it as much as you can.

I need you to handle him for us.

- I understand. - Okay.

Jack.

- Hi. - I can't believe this.

I just saw him, and he'd been clean, and...

I did this.

- No, you didn't. - Yeah, I did. We did. I mean...

- this is all our fault. - Jack.

Stop.

Sit down.

That is exactly what the media wants you to think.

They'll try to connect your work here with your son's death.

But they're wrong.

- Jack... - Yeah.

... you know what we do here.

We are not the bad guys.

Me, you, my father?

We are a family, too.

You can't let them tear us apart.

- Yeah, I know, I know, but what we do here... - Stop.

Listen to me.

Your son cannot be a statistic.

He was a person.

He was your son.

Yeah, he was.

He was...

my little boy.

Exactly.

You're right.

Now tell me, what did he love to do?

Uh...

Mikey was a person.

He was not a salacious news story.

He loved life. He loved to fish, play chess.

Please believe me when I say

that I am deeply sorry for your loss.

He was funny, and he was loved.

Mikey was special.

He's handling this very well.

Mm-mm. That's not him.

That's the woman you met earlier.

He's been coached.

Too bad she works for the wrong side.

... death of my son was a tragedy

that has nothing to do with my work.

Thank you very much for giving us your time today.

You did good.

Thanks, Dad.

Come on.

Shit.

- Dammit. - Oh, wait, here.

- Oh, no, no. It's okay. - Let me help.

No, no, it's okay. Um, here, give me that one.

Yeah.

Thank you. You s...

- You sure you got both of those? - Yeah, um, yeah. Here.

- See? - Okay.

These-these are beautiful, by the way,

- these are gorgeous. - Thank you. My ex hated them.

They thought they took up too much space.

No, these are amazing.

- Where are you moving from, by the way? - Echo Park.

Oh, Echo Park! I love Echo Park. Oh, my God, no, I got friends...

- Oh... - Oh, my God.

That's okay.

- It's fine. - I'm so sorry.

It's okay, I can fix it. I'm the new property manager. So...

Okay.

Good. That's good.

Well, if you need me to

break anything else, you know where I live.

Noted.

Um, would you want to grab dinner later?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

Sure. Where you guys going?

Oh, them. Yes.

I will ask them where they want to go.

You know, or it could just maybe be you and me,

and not them.

Yeah. Sure.

Sounds fun.

Yeah.

Oh, um, and this is weird timing, probably,

but our stove light's been out for a few years...

If you don't mind, maybe...

I'll add it to the list.

Cool.

Fuck! She really said no?

Kamala's not interested in doing this kind of show.

What kind is that? Like a fun, feminist one

where you can drink coffee and wine?

She thinks it's too small for where she's at right now.

- Oh, that is fucked. - I know.

Yeah. No. Uh-uh.

You know what, though? What's more fucked

is you said you could get her.

I had reason to believe that she'd say yes.

I-I interviewed her when she ran for senate.

I have a personal relationship with her aide,

- I mean... - But this is a totally different platform.

- I know. Just... - No, Sophie,

you can't overpromise me things.

I understand.

Okay. All right. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. So I'm gonna listen to Dr. Oz

mansplain to me

how a vagina works.

Yeah.

It's great. It's a great day at work.

It's a fuckin' nightmare.

Fuck.

Uh, your bed's all good.

- Oh, thanks. I appreciate it. - Sure.

Hey, I got a couple extra screws,

which is probably not a great sign, so...

let me know if you have any problems.

I'll come back, fix it.

No charge, obviously.

All right, there's money on the table.

Oh, no, that's cool. Alice paid me.

Oh, well, then just take it as a tip.

I feel kind of weird about that.

I would love a beer if you have one, though.

Uh... uh, sure. There's more over there.

Oh, my God. Awesome.

You got a sick spot, man.

Thanks.

If you get any more furniture,

need me to put it together...

Or I can build stuff.

Anything.

Built-ins, tables.

I'm, like, a traditional lesbian when it comes to tools, so...

All right.

Man...

this is what I thought living in L.A. was gonna be like. You know?

- Where you from? - Missouri.

And now I live in a one bedroom in Koreatown

with five other girls.

- Ugh. - Yeah, it sucks.

- I've been there. - Really?

Oh, yeah.

Well, if you ever need some space,

I think there's some extra bedrooms in the back.

Wait, are you serious?

Yeah.

Holy shit.

That's awesome. Thank you. That's, like...

Wow. I don't even know what to say. Thank you.

No problem.

_

Who's that?

My wife.

- You did well today, cariña. - Thanks, Dad.

The board and I have talked it over,

and we all agree that you deserve a promotion.

What?

Senior vice president.

I-I-I don't know what to say.

You deserve it.

Thank you.

We'll celebrate this weekend.

I'll make reservations somewhere nice, hmm?

Yeah. I'll-I'll ask Sophie.

Who?

I'm just kidding.

Invite your friend.

Dad, you know she's not just my friend.

Yes, yes.

- I actually was... - I think it's important to have fun

when you are young.

I'll see you this weekend, hmm?

Drive safely.

- _ - Hey, baby, it's me.

Shit, I had a fuckity fucked up day.

Uh, I hope yours was better than that.

I was just calling to say hi to let you know I love you, 'cause I do.

And I can't wait for you to get home

so I can smack that ass.

Shit, I think Alice just heard that. Okay, whatever.

Uh... I love you.

Uh, I'll make dinner. You got any requests?

Never mind, I'll just make something good.

Okay, I love you.

Again, like, a lot.

Okay, bye.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it is my pleasure to welcome

the next mayor of Los Angeles,

Bette Porter.

The homelessness crisis has hit L.A.,

and it tears at the very fabric of who we are

and what we believe in.

And the government, the government is meant to help

in times like these. It's meant to protect

the most vulnerable in our population.

We need change, and we need it now.

And I believe that I am the face of that change.

And now, I'd... I'd like to open it up to questions.

I want to hear from you.

I want to know what keeps you up at night.

The staff has mics.

Yes?

Prior to running for office,

you were the Director of Cultural Affairs

for the City of Los Angeles.

That's correct.

While you served as director,

do you remember fucking my wife?

How does sleeping with Felicity Adams,

a married employee of yours,

make you qualified to be the mayor?

- Do not touch me! - Get him out of here.

- Get him out of here. - Shame on you, Ms. Porter! Shame on you!

- Bette. Bette, Bette.

Let's go. Come on. Come on.

No more questions at this time. Come on.

No questions at this time, please. Here.

Shit.

I need to call Angie.

I don't want her to read about this on fucking Twitter.

Got you.

♪ Big bank take lil' bank, bank ♪

♪ Big bank take lil' bank, bank ♪

♪ Type of money you gonna need a bank ♪

We should get matching tattoos.

- You think? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Be pretty cool.

♪ Big bank take lil' bank, bank ♪

♪ Everything proper, no propaganda... ♪

What?

- Nothing. - Yeah, right. Well...

Let's take a selfie.

- Whoa. - What's wrong?

Uh, is your phone on?

No. My mom tracks me. Why?

Well, there's some shit going on with her.

Where the fuck is she?

I'm sure she's fine.

I'll text her.

I'm just so fucking angry.

She's a good kid.

I know. No. I'm angry at myself.

Hot flash?

Yes. Death is coming.

So what are you gonna do about the campaign?

My advisors told me that I should drop out.

- Oh, that's bullshit. - You can't do that.

I'm sorry, I don't see what the problem is.

- She slept with an employee. - It was consensual.

But she was married.

Okay, so I fucked up.

I think it's because you're gay.

Well, I think the problem is Felicity's gay

and it makes her husband feel like less of a man,

I mean, whatever that means.

That makes the most sense.

But they're trying to paint you like these male predators.

- And I might be just like them. - Mm-mm.

No, no, no, no, no. That's shame.

You should make a statement.

- You should come on my show. - What? Why? No.

I can give you a platform to tell your side.

Yeah. You can tell them who you are.

But I don't know who I am right now.

You're Bette fucking Porter.

Angie?

Thank God. Could you guys excuse us, please?

- Angie! - Let's get out of here.

- You want to get a burrito or something? - No, I want a burger.

Angie!

Angie!

I hate you! You ruin everything!

That's fine, but you cannot ditch school and go MIA.

- Whatever. You fucked somebody... - Hey!

You do not get to talk to me that way.

No. Everything you do becomes my fucking problem.

Do you know know how humiliating it is to be your daughter?

Wait, are you high right now?

- No. - Are you kidding me?

Stop. Stop!

- No, stop! - I'm looking... Stop it.

I'm gonna check.

- We vaped. - What does that mean?

- Vaped what? Pot? - Yeah.

- But I don't have it, Jordi does. - Angie...

you cannot smoke pot.

- It's not illegal. - Yes, it is. You are 16 years old.

I want to live with Mama T.

Do you want me to call her right now and tell her what you did today?

Fine. I'll just tell her that you fucked somebody.

I'm pretty sure she already heard.

Give me your phone. You're grounded.

And if you think it doesn't pain me to know that I hurt you,

you are wrong, and I'm deeply sorry.

You deserve better.

Um...

Okay.

Hm.

Oh, fuck, what a shitty fucking day!

Oh! Hi.

- Hi. - God, that was a long one.

Ooh. Can I get a glass of wine?

Well, yeah, I actually poured you a glass right over there.

Okay.

Oh, boy. Ooh.

Huh. Hey.

Wow, that's really, that's really nice out there.

I love the way that you talk to the TV.

A-And I love that you dance with your eyes closed.

What are you doing?

You're my person.

No.

Yes.

I need you in my life forever.

Do not fuck with me.

Uh...

Oh, my God.

Sophie Suarez...

will you marry me?

Please? Will you marry me, please?

Ooh.

Yes.

- Yes? - Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

God, you waited a long time to say yes.

I can't believe you're gonna be my wife.

This is just...

Oh, man.

Mmm.

Wow. Whoa.

Oh, my...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- It's okay. - Oh, no. No, it's not okay. It doesn't fit.

Rings are just a symbol of the patriarchy.

Yeah, but I still want you to have one.

Yeah, I'll still take it.

I'll get it resized.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Fuck!

- Did you do it? - I told her we should wait.

Hey, I got nervous. It got quiet.

- Did you do it? - So?

- Yeah, we're engaged! - We're engaged!

Oh, my God!

- That is... - I love you.

I'm so happy.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe you both knew.

I can't believe I kept my mouth shut.

I get to be best man, right?

- Yeah! Of course. - What? Come on!

Are you guys ready for the show?

Let me hear you.

There we go.

Are you ready?

All right, you guys.

Here she is,

- the name on everybody's lips. - Water? You got this. You're Alice.

You're the name on everybody's lips.

Alice!

Hey!

Hi. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Please. Please, please, please.

Thank you. Oh, it is so great to be back.

It really is. I have missed you all so much.

Uh... that hiatus was really long, wasn't it?

Felt like it was, like, a decade or something. Huh?

- Right, Heather? - Sure did.

Yeah, oh, you met my third cousin?

- Yes. Ha. - Yeah.

And... So how was your break?

I was just hanging out

in my, uh, shared studio apartment in the Valley,

- just waiting for the show to come back. - Yeah.

Is there a reason you keep bringing up that you share an apartment?

I just know that

you have an extra bedroom at your house

- and it's real fancy. - Okay. Oh...

No, I get it.

See you latte.

All right, ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between,

it is my absolute pleasure

to welcome my dear friend and candidate for L.A. mayor...

she likes her coffee black with one raw sugar...

Bette Porter!

♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪

♪ Uh-huh, oh, yeah... ♪

Wow. Well, thank you so much for coming.

- Thank you for having me. - Uh, full disclosure,

- we've known each other for about 25 years. - Yes, that's right.

Okay, and in those 25 years, have I ever gone easy on you?

Cut you any slack?

- Let you off the hook? - Not even for

- a single day, Alice. - Yeah. Okay. So,

do your voters know that you stole a billboard

- in the mid-aughts? - Uh, we...

- we borrowed it. - Oh.

- "We". - We borrowed it. Yeah.

Oh, you're put... Okay. Okay.

Were you gonna keep that on the DL?

Because I didn't get that memo.

- I think we should. Yeah. - Well, I missed that.

All right, let's dig in.

So, in case you've been living under a rock,

yesterday during a forum,

a man who's since been identified as Tyler Adams

publicly accused mayoral candidate Bette Porter

of having an affair with his wife.

- Is that correct? - That's correct.

So why did you want to come on the show today?

I mean, why not let something like that just kind of blow over?

Well, because I won't be shamed into silence.

I mean, historically, that's what happens to women in my position.

We're shamed and then we stand down, but I won't.

Not now, not ever.

So, are you sorry that you slept with a married woman?

Well, it's tricky because I-I...

I don't want anyone to think that I'm okay

with causing another person pain, because I'm not.

But I also don't want it to seem like I'm apologizing

for having a relationship with a consenting adult

because that's also a message that I'm not comfortable sending.

So you're not sorry?

I think I answered the question.

It's not that that simple.

Ugh. It's getting a little hot in here.

Can I just tell you the most frustrating part

of this whole ordeal?

Please.

I mean, it's distracting.

People would rather focus on what's titillating

than stare death in the face.

And the fact is, our city is in crisis and people are dying.

I know that you have a very real reason that you're running.

A very personal reason.

Why won't you talk about it?

Um,

because,

despite this week's events,

I've chosen to keep my private life private.

But those people out there,

they want to know who you are,

not just what you stand for.

Okay. Well, um...

I'm a woman.

I'm gay, I'm biracial.

Um, I'm a mother to an extraordinary daughter.

I'm an ex-wife, uh,

a friend, I think I'm a really loyal friend.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

Uh, I'm a daughter, I'm...

I'm a sister.

Uh... and I'm...

... and I'm you.

I'm... I am a part of you.

I really feel that.

You know, I'm that part of you

that wants to do better.

I'm that part of you that loves this city

and wants to see all of its communities thrive.

I'm that part of you that makes mistakes.

And I know I've disappointed people that I love.

And that's not a mistake that I want to make again.

And I hope that my indiscretions

don't cloud my greater purpose,

because while I know

I'm not the perfect messenger,

I do have the perfect message.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

We'll be right back.

- Hey. - Hi, honey.

- Hey. Hi. - Okay.

Bette?

Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.

So, I'm just so curious to know what I can do for you.

Would you like to have a seat?

No, thank you.

I am not gonna bullshit you, Ms. Porter.

I don't think you've got the time.

Well, I appreciate that.

My colleague's son died the other night.

Heroin overdose.

- 23 years old. - I saw.

Up until yesterday,

I managed to convince myself

that my job was to protect the company

that afforded me the life that I have.

Protect the people who helped build it from the ground up.

Go on.

You asked me the other day how I sleep at night,

but the truth is,

I don't.

I am damn good at my job,

but I want to work for someone I believe in.

And I came here today because I believe in you.

I'm not so sure that I trust you.

You've started your professional life in a compromised industry.

I know.

But if you want to win,

I think you need me.

I want to marry you and have like,

- nine kids with you. - Oh, nine?

Yeah.

- I'm Tess. - Shane.

Yeah, no, I know who you are,

everyone in the city knows who you are.

You're like a living legend.

I heard three voices comin' from your room last night.

- Cheers. - She's my ex-wife.

- Yeah. - And I love you.

- I love you too. - And I don't want anything

- to get in the way of what we have. - No.

Why do you keep looking at me like that?

Are you into me? Tell me what you want?

- It's our wedding! - Couples compromise all the time.

I'm not just about to compromise with your dad.

We need to have some fun.

- Really? - You and me, bro night!

I realize that I am sabotaging myself.

You have the power to change people.

Stay in this race, fight for what you believe in.

Oh my God.

Sync & corrections by Costa Dax & chamallow