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1
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:12,983
Thank God.
2
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,621
So, you know,
there's all this...
3
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,359
excitement, you know.
4
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,367
It's a new beginning, you know.
5
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,562
I mean, there's this place
where the two of you...
6
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:35,472
are blissfully going to spend
the rest of your lives.
7
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:40,376
And then you pay
the movers way too much.
8
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,539
You know, and you look around,
suddenly you realize...
9
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,879
that this place is not as big
or as bright or as clean...
10
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,543
as you thought.
11
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,847
And it's not a new beginning.
12
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,252
It's just the same shit
in a different location.
13
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,290
Actually it's worse...
14
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,984
because now you
got to clean it all up...
15
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,926
and make this blank,
cluttered place into a home.
16
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,462
Do you know what I mean?
17
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:01,565
I'm sorry.
Did you say something?
18
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,067
I was zoning out
there a little bit.
19
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,065
Fuck you.
20
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:09,667
Expecting someone?
21
00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,607
Jake's coming by.
22
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:12,872
Is he still pissed?
23
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,641
About Andrea?
24
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,310
I don't know.
25
00:05:19,919 --> 00:05:20,943
Hey.
26
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,386
Hey. Jake, you remember Cal.
27
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,650
Yeah.
28
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,192
Last time I saw him,
he fucked my date.
29
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,818
He's still pissed.
30
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,954
It was only three
fucking weeks ago.
31
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,463
And I was crazy about her.
32
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,159
I thought she could
have been the one.
33
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,224
Oh, you poor dumb bastard.
34
00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:38,167
Excuse me?
35
00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:40,797
She fucked me on your date.
36
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:43,808
She could have been the one?
37
00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:45,138
Hello.
38
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,304
Plus she used too much teeth
when she was giving head...
39
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,974
wouldn't dream of letting me
come on her face.
40
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:51,983
So unless our standards
are drastically different
41
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:55,350
from one another, I'd say
I did you a favor, pal.
42
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,456
What?
43
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:03,756
I'll buy you a drink.
44
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,196
Yeah. That'll make us even.
45
00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:08,256
Barkeep.
46
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,767
Grab me a whisky,
will you, and...
47
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,165
All right.
48
00:06:13,239 --> 00:06:14,672
I'm taking off.
I'll call you.
49
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,106
You got a hot date
with Andrea?
50
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:19,042
Be good, Jake.
51
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,344
Seriously, he has a hot date
with Andrea, doesn't he?
52
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,043
No.
53
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:29,113
Fucking funny.
54
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:30,587
Fucking funny.
55
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:32,419
Doesn't he have a girlfriend?
56
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,427
For, like, five years now.
57
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,759
And he gets more ass
than a toilet seat.
58
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:41,964
I got to take a piss.
59
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:03,651
Oh, Jesus.
60
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:06,556
- I got this.
- Thanks.
61
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,059
Jesus.
62
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:16,257
You don't get a lot
of pussy, do you?
63
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:18,270
What?
64
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:24,775
I mean... no.
No. I'm married.
65
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,709
What's one got to do
with the other?
66
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,806
I take it you're not.
67
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:34,148
I don't feel the need
to adhere to the conventions...
68
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,450
of modern society.
69
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,691
I don't know what that means.
70
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:45,130
It means I like
to keep my options open.
71
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,359
Hey, who doesn't?
72
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,401
Who's your friend?
73
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,404
This is Jake.
He's single.
74
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,463
He says that like
it's a condition.
75
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:57,942
Oh, this is, uh...
76
00:07:58,010 --> 00:07:58,942
Lily.
77
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:00,308
Hi.
78
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:01,710
Dave.
79
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:03,180
Dave.
80
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,945
Lily, do you want
to have dinner with me?
81
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,508
I don't think so.
82
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,145
Why not?
83
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,985
I just met you.
84
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,082
But I could be a chaperon.
85
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,059
I guarantee a good time.
86
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,721
What about your wife?
87
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:20,994
I'll take her with us.
88
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,160
We'll make a whole
big night out of it.
89
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:35,669
Call me.
90
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:42,387
And it was very nice
to meet you, Jake, Dave.
91
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,548
Lily.
92
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:47,924
Thank you.
93
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,326
Oh, my God. That was
the easiest date I ever got.
94
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,125
This is going to be great.
95
00:08:57,503 --> 00:08:58,697
There we go.
96
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:03,166
I don't get no pussy?
What are you talking about?
97
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:06,211
I get pussy.
I get lots of pussy.
98
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,548
How are you doing?
99
00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:13,710
You finished up in the bedroom?
100
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,186
Not yet.
101
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,086
You've been in there
for, like, two hours.
102
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:19,681
Well, there's just
too much stuff.
103
00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,192
I can't handle it right now.
104
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,524
You know, the dining room table
is coming in on Tuesday.
105
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,030
We decided we were going
to be unpacked by then.
106
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,929
No, you decided.
107
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:33,434
Have you noticed that the
molding is coming off here?
108
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,531
Was it like that
when we bought the place?
109
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:37,542
Yes.
110
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,373
Are you sure, or are you
just saying that?
111
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,913
I'm thinking of taking
a class at The New School.
112
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,210
I thought you signed up
for that pottery class...
113
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:49,083
and the salsa lessons.
114
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,884
I don't know.
I just...
115
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,447
I just need to do something.
116
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,225
Why don't you clear your deck
for Thursday night?
117
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,095
Why? What are we doing?
118
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,360
Well, I promised Jake
that we would, you know...
119
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,063
go out with him and a date.
120
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:07,128
Who is she?
121
00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:10,608
Just some girl.
122
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,713
Here I am, in court
as lead defense counsel...
123
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,482
for the first time and I'm
going down in flames...
124
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,750
because I can't settle
this stupid case...
125
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:26,121
that shouldn't have
even made it to court...
126
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,057
but the judge at
the preliminary hearing...
127
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,321
was a jackass.
128
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,454
Our legal system at work, right?
129
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:34,499
This guy gets his bumper
tapped by a garbage truck...
130
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,968
and he's suing the company
for 12 million dollars.
131
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:39,766
I hate stuff like that.
132
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:42,330
So, they get him
up on the stand...
133
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,069
and he's telling
the jury up and down...
134
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,077
all this pain and suffering
he's had to endure...
135
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,409
and I notice that
despite this enormous...
136
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,972
uncomfortable collar
he's got on his neck...
137
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,483
he's checking me out.
138
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:54,041
He's checking you out?
139
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,350
Can you blame him?
She's a beautiful woman.
140
00:10:56,422 --> 00:11:00,153
You are a very beautiful woman.
141
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,784
And you're sweet.
142
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:06,992
Anyway, that's when I decided,
I'm gonna get the fucker.
143
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,795
So what did you do?
144
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,495
So, I asked for recess...
145
00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:12,628
I made a couple
of adjustments...
146
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:15,299
we go back,
the guy takes the stand...
147
00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:17,308
two seconds into
his lawyer's redirect...
148
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:19,776
damn if the guy didn't
jerk his head my way...
149
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,143
and that's when I stood up
and I shouted...
150
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:24,808
"Your Honor,
this man's neck is fine!"
151
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,546
How'd you make him look?
152
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,145
Well, see, during the recess...
153
00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:33,521
I took the liberty
of removing my panties...
154
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:36,618
and when he got
back up on the stand...
155
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,859
it was just a matter of
spreading my thighs just so.
156
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:44,029
So you pulled a Sharon Stone.
157
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:48,498
From the movie,
"Basic Instinct," with the...
158
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:50,166
I never saw that.
159
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:52,335
Anyway, the case
got thrown out of court...
160
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:53,708
right then and there.
161
00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:56,107
You're a very good lawyer.
162
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,810
Hey, I'm all about justice.
163
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:05,881
So... how did
the two of you meet?
164
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:08,552
This is a funny story.
165
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,458
What happened was that...
166
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:12,656
- Actually...
- Dave introduced us.
167
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,658
Really?
168
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,499
Yeah. Yeah.
We were at Mod...
169
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,835
and Jake went
into the bathroom...
170
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,601
and then he came out
of the bathroom...
171
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,734
and I hooked them up.
172
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:33,979
By the way,
I love your blouse.
173
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,254
Thank you.
174
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,052
Barney's Warehouse.
175
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:42,424
That color really
brings out your eyes.
176
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:46,091
Thank you very much.
177
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:47,359
It's great.
178
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,695
Thank you.
179
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,531
So how long have
you been married?
180
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,661
Two years.
181
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,963
Any kids?
182
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,598
Not yet, but I'd like to.
183
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,142
I want children.
184
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,700
What about Dave?
185
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,439
Well, he worries.
186
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,143
About what?
187
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:06,650
Everything.
188
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,186
That's not true.
189
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:11,849
He's afraid our child
will have a fecal fetish.
190
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,187
What? I didn't say that.
191
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,058
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
192
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:19,393
I didn't say fecal fetish.
193
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,662
I said weird, stupid, like...
194
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,062
Well, having kids
is a big step...
195
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,766
and maybe Dave just
wants to have his fun.
196
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,308
I like having fun.
197
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,536
I like having fun, too.
198
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:33,077
Maybe we should
go out together...
199
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,306
you and I, sometime?
Girls night out?
200
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:37,849
You and me?
201
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:42,815
Yeah. Sure.
That would be terrific.
202
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:44,753
That's a great idea.
203
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:49,160
Yeah, great.
204
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:54,432
I don't understand why
you had to say that stuff.
205
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,435
I don't know why you're making
such a big deal about it.
206
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,266
Because I don't know
why everybody needs to know...
207
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,828
our personal business,
that's why.
208
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:02,601
We were all sharing.
209
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,269
All sharing? That's what
you call that, sharing?
210
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,279
The two of you seemed
to hit it off just fine.
211
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,441
You didn't tell me you
introduced the two of them.
212
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,678
It was just one of those things.
213
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,889
She's very attractive.
214
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,862
Yeah. I mean...
I guess so.
215
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:28,662
What, you don't think
she's a beautiful woman?
216
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,671
Yeah, of course.
217
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:36,071
Not like you,
if that's what you mean.
218
00:14:36,141 --> 00:14:38,132
I wasn't asking
for validation, Dave.
219
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,199
Why do guys always think...
220
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:41,473
they have to protect
a woman's ego?
221
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,675
What do you want me to say,
that I want to do her?
222
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:45,842
Well, do you?
223
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:50,719
No. No, of course not.
How could you say that?
224
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:53,189
I just want you
to know that it's OK...
225
00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:55,352
if you think she's attractive.
226
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,897
She's gorgeous.
227
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,899
Then what's she doing with Jake?
228
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,179
Nice... couch.
229
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,683
Thank you.
230
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,515
Oh, I'm sorry. Please.
231
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,918
Thanks.
232
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,423
Well, that was fun tonight.
233
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:32,964
Yeah, definitely.
234
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,590
Good.
235
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,566
Dave and Greta, they're great.
236
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:40,332
Yeah. She's a doll.
237
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:43,034
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure.
238
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:45,042
Cheers.
239
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:51,913
Jake, I think
you're a terrific guy...
240
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:54,145
and I like you.
I really do.
241
00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:56,346
I like you, too.
242
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:58,890
But not in a sexual way.
243
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:05,358
Listen, I think you're smart
and you're funny...
244
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:07,160
and you're not
a bad-looking guy...
245
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:11,293
but you just don't
have your fuck on.
246
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,735
My what?
247
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,703
Do you just want to fuck?
248
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:19,767
Because we can, if you want.
249
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:21,608
We can just go
in a bedroom...
250
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,774
and take our clothes off,
and hell, you know what?
251
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:26,249
We might not even
make it that far.
252
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,081
You can just bend me over
the couch right here...
253
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,645
and hike up my skirt
and rip off my panties...
254
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:35,785
grab me by the hair,
and fuck me like an animal...
255
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,625
and you will really
enjoy yourself.
256
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:40,995
But I won't.
257
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,434
Is that what you want?
258
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:49,401
No.
259
00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:55,176
Cool. Want to watch the game?
260
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,521
Is that good?
261
00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,497
You'll smash my head.
262
00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:16,125
Could you move a little bit,
a little bit to the right?
263
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:19,795
- How's that?
- Better.
264
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,138
Slower. Slow.
265
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,153
Is that good?
266
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,521
Now a little to the left.
267
00:17:40,592 --> 00:17:42,526
Just...
268
00:17:42,594 --> 00:17:44,152
How's this?
269
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,423
That's good.
270
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:49,192
Hair.
271
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:50,701
Move your arm.
272
00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:52,327
What?
273
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:55,339
Here. Is this better?
274
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,534
What's wrong with you?
275
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,839
Well, you seem to
just want to lie here...
276
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,039
and orchestrate
my entire performance.
277
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,046
I mean, I'd like to have...
278
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:06,209
a little creative
freedom, you know?
279
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:09,220
I'm sorry. I just...
280
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:10,721
What?
281
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:13,087
I guess I'm just tired.
282
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,061
Do you want to stop?
283
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:18,824
No, no. I want to.
284
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,423
But here.
285
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,905
Is that OK?
286
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:33,604
It's good.
287
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:05,943
When you do it with Emily,
is it good?
288
00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:08,275
What? Yeah,
it's great. Why?
289
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:11,942
Well, lately...
when Greta and I do it...
290
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:13,609
it's kind of dull.
291
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:15,414
Well, how often
are you doing it?
292
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,248
I don't know.
293
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,291
A little less than
average, I guess.
294
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,293
I think your idea of average
is different than mine.
295
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:23,692
Well, maybe once a month.
296
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:27,596
Once a month? Are you
fucking kidding me?
297
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,601
It's a little slow
right now. Big deal.
298
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:34,127
This is a big deal.
This is a huge fucking deal.
299
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,606
It's a down cycle or something.
300
00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:40,336
Once a month is reserved
for unpleasant things...
301
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,141
like her period or rent.
302
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:44,580
Banging your wife should not
go into that category.
303
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,277
We've been together
a while, you know.
304
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,444
It's hard to keep things fresh.
305
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,148
Why do you think
I fuck around so much?
306
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:52,815
What are you talking about?
307
00:19:52,891 --> 00:19:55,985
Infidelity is the truth serum
to any relationship.
308
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:58,120
Whenever I fuck another girl,
it's not as good as Emily.
309
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,494
I can cross one name
off the list...
310
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:01,157
and know Emily
really is the one.
311
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:05,165
So what you're saying is that
cheating on your girlfriend...
312
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:07,000
makes your relationship
stronger?
313
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,165
Exactly.
314
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,004
Plus, the best sex
I ever have with Emily...
315
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,010
is right after
I fuck someone else.
316
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:15,012
Unbelievable.
Let me tell you about it.
317
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,843
I can't do what you do.
318
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:18,314
We're different.
319
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,645
How?
320
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:20,844
For starters, I'm human.
321
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:22,443
That doesn't mean
you have to be miserable.
322
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:25,786
I'm not miserable, I'm married.
There's a difference.
323
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:29,754
Greta, I thought
you were going to un...
324
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:32,847
Dave! I...
325
00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:34,221
I thought...
326
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,262
I thought you were
working late tonight.
327
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:40,730
I got most of it done.
328
00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:46,531
Wait.
329
00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:48,698
Hey, Dave.
330
00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:50,799
What?
331
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:54,911
Dave, I'm sorry.
332
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,538
Well, I don't think that's
really going to cover it.
333
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:59,641
Look, I told you I didn't
want to go on that double date.
334
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:01,413
If I knew it was going to
turn you into a lesbian...
335
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:02,578
I wouldn't have made you go.
336
00:22:05,190 --> 00:22:06,521
We went for drinks, and...
337
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:08,923
And what?
You started having sex?
338
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,792
I mean, where the fuck
did you go, Plato's Retreat?
339
00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:15,226
- Dave...
- What?!
340
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:20,203
I'm having an identity crisis.
341
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:26,072
Wait. What does that mean?
342
00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,539
What does that mean?
343
00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:25,566
Are you OK?
344
00:23:26,938 --> 00:23:28,701
I just threw up.
345
00:23:30,108 --> 00:23:31,473
You threw up?
346
00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:34,836
Cal, give the guy a break.
347
00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:37,279
He just found his wife
in bed with another woman.
348
00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:38,441
What were they doing?
349
00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:41,816
Were they, you know,
actually fucking?
350
00:23:43,955 --> 00:23:45,547
I don't know.
351
00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:50,125
They were in bed... naked.
352
00:23:51,897 --> 00:23:52,886
Jesus.
353
00:23:52,964 --> 00:23:54,488
Tell me about it.
354
00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:55,533
I don't believe it.
355
00:23:57,636 --> 00:23:58,694
It's not like
it's the first time...
356
00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:00,135
someone fucked my date.
357
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:04,332
Get over it.
358
00:24:04,409 --> 00:24:05,535
I'm just saying
I don't like...
359
00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:07,407
the pattern that's
developing here...
360
00:24:07,479 --> 00:24:09,071
everyone fucking
my dates but me.
361
00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:12,708
Also, I think I'm a little
to blame for this.
362
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:15,718
Why?
363
00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:18,517
Because if I'd had sex
with Lily...
364
00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:19,716
maybe she wouldn't
have been so eager...
365
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:21,315
to have sex with Greta.
366
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,591
I think that would
make her more eager.
367
00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:27,063
What is it, do you just
enjoy being an asshole?
368
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,997
Do you just enjoy
being a prick?
369
00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:30,056
I'm not a prick.
And you know what?
370
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:31,159
Did I tell you
you could smoke in my house?
371
00:24:31,236 --> 00:24:32,328
What, I can't smoke
in here now?
372
00:24:32,404 --> 00:24:33,393
No, you cannot
smoke in my house...
373
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,906
All right,
I'm putting it out.
374
00:24:38,510 --> 00:24:40,341
There is a situation here.
375
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:43,774
I'm sorry. Sorry.
376
00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:46,374
So, what are you going to do?
377
00:24:48,353 --> 00:24:51,049
I don't know.
378
00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:54,956
Well, have you thought about...
379
00:24:55,026 --> 00:24:57,824
incorporating this
into your love life?
380
00:24:57,896 --> 00:24:59,989
What?
381
00:25:00,065 --> 00:25:02,158
You know, talk about
jazzing things up a little bit.
382
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:05,428
Yes?
383
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,438
This is not a porn movie.
This is my life.
384
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,303
Yeah, but at this
moment, excuse me...
385
00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:11,308
your life sounds
like a porn movie.
386
00:25:11,376 --> 00:25:13,537
Look at it as a bright side.
387
00:25:13,612 --> 00:25:15,546
A bright side?
388
00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:19,778
Yeah. You guys have to think
outside the box...
389
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:20,909
so to speak.
390
00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:22,681
Jesus.
391
00:25:22,754 --> 00:25:26,121
Look, it's just a phase.
392
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:28,819
I mean, she's been acting
a little weird lately...
393
00:25:28,894 --> 00:25:30,327
and this is just part of it.
394
00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:31,521
It's a phase.
395
00:25:31,596 --> 00:25:33,530
Absolutely. A phase.
396
00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:35,657
Yeah. I mean, come on.
She's not a... come on.
397
00:25:35,734 --> 00:25:37,065
A lesbian?
398
00:25:41,239 --> 00:25:43,002
If you want, you can stay here.
399
00:25:43,074 --> 00:25:44,837
You can have my spare bedroom.
400
00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:46,537
Stay as long as you want.
401
00:25:46,611 --> 00:25:48,545
Yeah?
402
00:25:51,583 --> 00:25:53,915
That sounds great.
403
00:26:11,069 --> 00:26:12,331
So we smoke a J, right?
404
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:13,666
Next thing I know...
405
00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:15,035
I'm doing these hot set
of nudes with her...
406
00:26:15,106 --> 00:26:16,471
tasteful stuff, you know.
407
00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:17,872
Well, mostly tasteful stuff.
408
00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:19,205
Anyway, agent calls me...
409
00:26:19,277 --> 00:26:20,642
all pissed off,
like, you know...
410
00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:23,943
"What are you doing, dude?
She's only 18."
411
00:26:24,015 --> 00:26:27,246
I'm, like, "Guy, I'm an artist,
you know. Back off."
412
00:26:28,453 --> 00:26:30,216
What are you doing?
What's the matter with you?
413
00:26:30,288 --> 00:26:31,414
I'm not up for this.
414
00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:34,524
You know what
you need to do?
415
00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:35,719
You need to go out...
416
00:26:35,794 --> 00:26:37,386
and you need to date
a little bit.
417
00:26:37,462 --> 00:26:39,054
I don't want to date.
418
00:26:39,130 --> 00:26:41,291
That's why I got married
in the first place.
419
00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,891
Listen to me.
This is an unbelievable rap.
420
00:26:43,969 --> 00:26:45,561
What are you talking about?
421
00:26:45,637 --> 00:26:49,573
You're a dude who's been
brokenhearted by his wife...
422
00:26:49,641 --> 00:26:52,109
who's become a lesbian.
423
00:26:52,177 --> 00:26:53,542
She's not a lesbian.
424
00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:55,045
I know she's not a lesbian...
425
00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:56,205
but they don't
need to know that.
426
00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:58,249
Appeal to the Florence
Henderson in them.
427
00:26:58,316 --> 00:26:59,806
Let them nurse you
back to health.
428
00:26:59,884 --> 00:27:01,249
Florence Nightingale.
429
00:27:01,319 --> 00:27:03,287
What did I say?
430
00:27:03,355 --> 00:27:04,583
Forget it.
431
00:27:04,656 --> 00:27:06,419
Look, there are
plenty of hot chicks...
432
00:27:06,491 --> 00:27:07,924
in this town, all right?
433
00:27:07,993 --> 00:27:09,392
Here. Perfect example.
Look at that girl right there.
434
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:13,830
Ask her out. Hello!
This is my friend Dave.
435
00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:15,627
Asshole.
436
00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:18,066
Fuck her. I'm having
a party tonight.
437
00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:19,262
There's going to be
plenty of tail there.
438
00:27:19,337 --> 00:27:21,305
Just make sure you're there.
439
00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:26,640
Heads up.
440
00:27:27,712 --> 00:27:29,145
Sorry.
441
00:27:29,214 --> 00:27:30,613
Sorry. I'm sorry.
442
00:27:30,682 --> 00:27:32,206
Jesus Christ! I think
you broke my nose!
443
00:27:32,283 --> 00:27:35,309
- I thought you were looking.
- I was looking at the girl!
444
00:27:36,354 --> 00:27:37,582
You'll be all right.
445
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,248
Just be at my house
at 10:00 tonight.
446
00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,655
Whatever.
447
00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:44,286
Might want to get
some ice on that.
448
00:27:44,362 --> 00:27:46,125
Yeah. Thanks.
449
00:27:46,197 --> 00:27:48,324
I thought you were looking.
450
00:27:49,768 --> 00:27:50,962
Fucking retard.
451
00:28:20,231 --> 00:28:22,165
Glad you could make it.
452
00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:23,666
Hi, Cal.
453
00:28:23,735 --> 00:28:25,327
Miss Samantha.
Good. Good.
454
00:28:25,403 --> 00:28:26,961
Sorry about that.
You all right?
455
00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:28,665
Yeah, I'm fine.
456
00:28:28,740 --> 00:28:30,640
Whoa, man, whoa.
That's my ass. That's my ass.
457
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,472
Come on in.
I got a surprise for you.
458
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:33,511
Come on.
459
00:28:37,215 --> 00:28:39,149
Come here.
460
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:41,185
Girls, I'd like you
to meet my friend Dave.
461
00:28:41,252 --> 00:28:43,186
Dave, this is
Molly and Annette.
462
00:28:43,254 --> 00:28:45,051
- Actually, I'm Annette.
- I'm Molly.
463
00:28:45,123 --> 00:28:46,988
Nice to meet you both.
464
00:28:47,058 --> 00:28:48,821
Molly and Annette
are flight attendants.
465
00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:50,690
Oh, so then if this
was the seventies...
466
00:28:50,762 --> 00:28:52,662
we'd go off and have an orgy.
467
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:56,933
You look like you could
use a fresh one, Molly.
468
00:28:57,001 --> 00:28:58,366
Shall we?
469
00:28:58,436 --> 00:28:59,368
Yes. Come with me.
470
00:28:59,437 --> 00:29:00,495
Go ahead and sit down over here.
471
00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:01,504
I could use a fresh drink.
472
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:02,938
Go, sit down.
You're all right.
473
00:29:03,007 --> 00:29:06,841
Sit down on the white couch.
She won't bite.
474
00:29:19,457 --> 00:29:22,221
So you're just in
for a few days, I guess.
475
00:29:22,293 --> 00:29:24,056
Yeah. Looking
for a good time...
476
00:29:24,129 --> 00:29:26,597
in the city
that never sleeps.
477
00:29:28,266 --> 00:29:31,030
Do flight attendants
have a certain route...
478
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:33,093
that they fly?
479
00:29:34,539 --> 00:29:35,801
It must be fantastic...
480
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:38,104
to travel to such exotic
places like you do.
481
00:29:38,176 --> 00:29:40,736
It can be hectic,
but every now and then...
482
00:29:40,812 --> 00:29:43,406
I get to do
a little adventuring.
483
00:29:45,083 --> 00:29:47,074
What's been your
favorite so far?
484
00:29:47,152 --> 00:29:48,551
I was flying
in and out of Rio...
485
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:51,145
and I got to spend
some time on the Amazon.
486
00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:54,254
That was incredible.
487
00:29:54,325 --> 00:29:55,587
See, that's my dream.
488
00:29:55,660 --> 00:29:58,151
I would love to just go down
there and shoot full-time.
489
00:29:58,229 --> 00:29:59,753
You're a photographer?
490
00:29:59,831 --> 00:30:01,389
Yeah. I do mainly
fashion photography...
491
00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:04,560
like this, but my heart...
492
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,729
my heart is in nature
photography, really.
493
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:08,397
In fact, I'm talking
to the people...
494
00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:09,997
at "National Geographic"
as we speak.
495
00:30:10,074 --> 00:30:12,235
Really?
496
00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:14,175
I've been to the Amazon...
497
00:30:14,245 --> 00:30:16,645
like, I don't know,
three or four times.
498
00:30:16,714 --> 00:30:18,909
You know, to be able
to go down there...
499
00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:21,611
and capture flying fish
just kind of...
500
00:30:21,686 --> 00:30:23,119
leaping out of the river...
501
00:30:23,188 --> 00:30:24,746
just to grab a little
nibble of food...
502
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:29,021
you know, it's...
it's humbling.
503
00:30:31,095 --> 00:30:33,928
Do you like tequila?
504
00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:36,125
I think it's a great
idea to have kids...
505
00:30:36,201 --> 00:30:38,965
but there's so many ways
you could screw it up.
506
00:30:39,037 --> 00:30:41,597
I was having this conversation
with my wife, and...
507
00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:44,870
Wait. You're married?
508
00:30:44,943 --> 00:30:48,310
- Yes, I did.
- No, you did not.
509
00:30:48,379 --> 00:30:51,815
Cal is a photographer,
and he has been telling me...
510
00:30:51,883 --> 00:30:54,113
the most amazing stories
about the Amazon.
511
00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:55,812
To be honest with you,
swimming with piranha...
512
00:30:55,887 --> 00:30:57,650
is not as dangerous
as it sounds.
513
00:30:57,722 --> 00:30:59,155
As long as you
don't have an open wound...
514
00:30:59,224 --> 00:31:01,488
you can just jump right in,
swim right up to them...
515
00:31:01,559 --> 00:31:02,821
pet them if you like.
516
00:31:02,894 --> 00:31:04,156
You can pet them?
517
00:31:04,229 --> 00:31:05,491
You heard me.
518
00:31:05,563 --> 00:31:06,996
That is so amazing.
519
00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:08,157
Totally.
520
00:31:08,233 --> 00:31:09,666
Yeah. Almost unbelievable.
521
00:31:09,734 --> 00:31:11,167
That's great.
522
00:31:11,236 --> 00:31:12,828
Dan was just telling
me about his wife.
523
00:31:12,904 --> 00:31:14,030
Or Dave.
524
00:31:14,105 --> 00:31:15,197
Did he tell you what
happened to her?
525
00:31:15,273 --> 00:31:17,503
- No.
- What happened?
526
00:31:17,575 --> 00:31:18,599
She died.
527
00:31:18,676 --> 00:31:20,075
What?
528
00:31:20,144 --> 00:31:22,305
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
529
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:25,315
I feel awful.
How did she die?
530
00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:26,372
Mountain climbing.
531
00:31:26,451 --> 00:31:28,885
That is so tragic.
532
00:31:28,953 --> 00:31:30,944
Well, nature has
its savage side.
533
00:31:31,022 --> 00:31:32,455
She's not dead.
534
00:31:32,523 --> 00:31:33,854
He keeps telling
himself that.
535
00:31:33,925 --> 00:31:35,756
He's having a hard time
coming to grips with this.
536
00:31:35,827 --> 00:31:37,385
It must be really difficult.
537
00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:40,158
Wow. You are so brave.
538
00:31:40,231 --> 00:31:41,357
Honestly, ladies,
the strength...
539
00:31:41,432 --> 00:31:44,026
that this man
has exhibited is...
540
00:31:44,102 --> 00:31:45,899
it's awe inspiring.
541
00:31:47,372 --> 00:31:49,772
- It really is.
- Totally.
542
00:31:49,841 --> 00:31:51,365
All right, I got an idea.
543
00:31:51,442 --> 00:31:53,376
I have this groovy
little rooftop terrace...
544
00:31:53,444 --> 00:31:55,105
with a beautiful
little Jacuzzi.
545
00:31:55,179 --> 00:31:56,203
I say the four of us,
we go up there...
546
00:31:56,281 --> 00:31:57,373
we drink
a little more tequila...
547
00:31:57,448 --> 00:31:59,006
we play some music.
What do you say, girls?
548
00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:00,516
- Sounds great.
- Great!
549
00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:02,314
Oh, we don't have
our suits.
550
00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:03,684
It doesn't matter.
551
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:05,746
I have a "no suit" rule
in this place.
552
00:32:05,823 --> 00:32:07,723
We don't need them.
Don't need them.
553
00:32:07,792 --> 00:32:09,225
I have some robes over there.
554
00:32:09,294 --> 00:32:10,522
You guys can throw
those things on...
555
00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:11,527
and we'll head upstairs.
556
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:12,858
OK. Sure.
557
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:13,863
All right? Good.
558
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,399
It's right there,
that gray door.
559
00:32:16,868 --> 00:32:19,359
How can you make
this stuff up about Greta?
560
00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:21,166
What is this shit
about the Amazon?
561
00:32:21,239 --> 00:32:22,536
You tell them
what they want to hear...
562
00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:23,699
and you speak with passion.
563
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:24,799
Now, you're coming up, right?
564
00:32:24,876 --> 00:32:26,571
I don't want to do this.
I really don't.
565
00:32:26,644 --> 00:32:28,111
I just want to go home.
566
00:32:29,580 --> 00:32:30,911
You hear that?
567
00:32:30,982 --> 00:32:32,415
That's opportunity knocking, OK?
568
00:32:32,483 --> 00:32:34,041
And unless you answer
the fucking door...
569
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:36,678
it's going to play
ding-dong ditch.
570
00:32:36,754 --> 00:32:39,587
What the fuck
is ding-dong ditch?
571
00:32:39,657 --> 00:32:40,715
It's when you
ring the doorbell...
572
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:42,089
and you run before
they answer the door.
573
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,286
Didn't you ever
play that as a kid?
574
00:32:43,361 --> 00:32:44,828
Yeah. We called it
ring and run.
575
00:32:44,896 --> 00:32:47,797
Well, we called it
ding-dong ditch, OK?
576
00:32:47,865 --> 00:32:49,560
All set!
577
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,067
Oh, those are cute.
578
00:32:51,135 --> 00:32:52,898
Thank you.
579
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:54,700
Ready, Dave?
580
00:32:56,708 --> 00:32:58,107
Unfortunately, girls,
581
00:32:58,176 --> 00:33:01,407
Dave is not going to
make it to Jacuzzi time.
582
00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:05,575
Oh, sure.
We totally understand.
583
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:08,778
She's in a better place now.
584
00:33:15,526 --> 00:33:17,994
Our condolences.
585
00:33:21,032 --> 00:33:24,627
Fucking meet somebody, OK?
586
00:33:24,702 --> 00:33:26,932
You take care of yourself, baby.
587
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:27,972
Come on, girls.
588
00:33:28,039 --> 00:33:29,006
All right.
589
00:33:49,827 --> 00:33:51,294
You know, I've been
thinking a lot about this...
590
00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:52,590
and I'm ready to have kids.
591
00:33:54,065 --> 00:33:55,032
What?
592
00:33:55,099 --> 00:33:56,566
Well, isn't that
what you wanted?
593
00:33:56,634 --> 00:33:58,465
Yeah, but because I felt like
there was something missing...
594
00:33:58,536 --> 00:33:59,468
in my life.
595
00:33:59,537 --> 00:34:01,971
You weren't happy?
596
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,703
I haven't been happy
for a long time.
597
00:34:05,777 --> 00:34:10,111
Why don't we just forget
this ever happened?
598
00:34:10,181 --> 00:34:12,775
You think you can just
forget this happened?
599
00:34:12,850 --> 00:34:13,942
Well, not on my own...
600
00:34:14,018 --> 00:34:15,246
but if you hit me
in the head really hard...
601
00:34:15,319 --> 00:34:16,286
maybe we'll get lucky.
602
00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:18,949
Are you in love with her?
603
00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:22,359
I don't know.
604
00:34:22,427 --> 00:34:25,225
Oh, my God.
605
00:34:25,296 --> 00:34:26,763
I'm sorry, Dave,
but unlike you...
606
00:34:26,831 --> 00:34:28,526
I don't carry
around a manual...
607
00:34:28,599 --> 00:34:30,191
that explains what comes next.
608
00:34:30,268 --> 00:34:32,327
So now I'm just
Mr. Boring Guy...
609
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:33,529
who follows a script.
610
00:34:33,604 --> 00:34:35,003
I can be different.
611
00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:36,097
Is this something...
612
00:34:36,174 --> 00:34:38,267
we could incorporate
into the marriage?
613
00:34:38,342 --> 00:34:40,276
What, like we all
have sex together?
614
00:34:43,548 --> 00:34:45,038
Greta, you are too old
to be doing this.
615
00:34:45,116 --> 00:34:48,051
I mean, if you really wanted
to be... with women, I mean...
616
00:34:48,119 --> 00:34:50,713
shouldn't you have done it
when you were in college...
617
00:34:50,788 --> 00:34:52,380
like everyone else?
I mean, come on.
618
00:34:52,457 --> 00:34:53,890
You went to
an all-girls school...
619
00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:55,084
for Christ's sakes!
620
00:34:56,961 --> 00:34:58,895
Greta. Greta, don't...
621
00:34:58,963 --> 00:35:00,692
Greta, wait.
622
00:35:03,634 --> 00:35:06,102
Shit! Damn!
623
00:35:27,191 --> 00:35:28,783
Come in.
624
00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:31,591
David Siegel?
625
00:35:31,662 --> 00:35:32,924
Yeah.
626
00:35:32,997 --> 00:35:34,430
This is for you.
627
00:35:34,499 --> 00:35:35,625
Thanks.
628
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,505
What the fuck?
629
00:35:44,575 --> 00:35:46,065
Hey, Dave, have you seen
the numbers...
630
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,236
on the Wilson account?
631
00:35:47,311 --> 00:35:48,608
This is nuts!
632
00:35:54,318 --> 00:35:55,615
Hey, hold the elevator!
633
00:35:55,686 --> 00:35:57,278
Mister... come on.
634
00:35:57,355 --> 00:36:00,119
I think this is a mistake.
635
00:36:00,191 --> 00:36:01,954
- Are you David Siegel?
- Yeah.
636
00:36:02,026 --> 00:36:03,687
Then there's no mistake.
637
00:36:03,761 --> 00:36:05,285
Yeah, but these are
divorce papers.
638
00:36:05,363 --> 00:36:06,921
I deliver them, pal,
I don't write them.
639
00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:08,898
I mean,
this can't be possible.
640
00:36:08,966 --> 00:36:11,799
I'm sure you two have a real
fairy-tale romance, OK?
641
00:36:11,869 --> 00:36:13,131
No, you don't understand.
642
00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:16,662
See, this is just a phase
that she's going through.
643
00:36:16,741 --> 00:36:20,802
Looks like a pretty permanent
phase to me, buddy.
644
00:36:20,878 --> 00:36:23,210
Fuck you.
You're taking these back.
645
00:36:23,281 --> 00:36:24,509
I'm not taking them back.
646
00:36:24,582 --> 00:36:25,810
Yeah, you are taking them back.
647
00:36:25,883 --> 00:36:28,351
Hey, back off,
you fucking psycho!
648
00:36:31,389 --> 00:36:33,323
No wonder your wife's
divorcing you.
649
00:36:35,326 --> 00:36:37,954
You son of a bitch!
650
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,758
Oh, my God!
651
00:36:39,830 --> 00:36:40,797
Now you're messing
with the bull.
652
00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:43,834
You're gonna get the horns.
I'll kill you!
653
00:36:43,901 --> 00:36:46,062
- I'm gonna kick that guy's ass!
- Do it!
654
00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:48,105
You want to dance?
655
00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:49,901
- You want to?
- So let's do it.
656
00:36:49,974 --> 00:36:53,068
Come on. Relax. Relax.
What's going on?
657
00:36:54,946 --> 00:36:56,379
Run away, Nancy boy.
658
00:36:56,447 --> 00:36:59,007
You're not a nice man.
659
00:36:59,083 --> 00:37:00,812
Yeah. Hey, say hi
to your wife for me.
660
00:37:00,885 --> 00:37:02,546
Fuck you!
661
00:37:06,424 --> 00:37:07,857
Who are you?
662
00:37:07,925 --> 00:37:10,223
Just a guy doing his job.
663
00:37:21,505 --> 00:37:22,472
Taxi!
664
00:37:31,549 --> 00:37:34,074
This is it.
Right here.
665
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:39,280
You forgot to pay me!
666
00:37:46,397 --> 00:37:47,830
You can't go in there!
667
00:37:47,898 --> 00:37:49,559
You fucking bitch!
668
00:37:49,634 --> 00:37:51,067
I'm sorry.
He just barged right in.
669
00:37:51,135 --> 00:37:53,330
It's OK, Sheila.
670
00:37:53,404 --> 00:37:57,135
Well, Dave, to what
do I owe the pleasure?
671
00:37:57,208 --> 00:37:59,005
Don't play coy.
672
00:37:59,076 --> 00:38:00,737
OK, but I think we
should try our best...
673
00:38:00,811 --> 00:38:01,869
to be civil about this.
674
00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:04,881
You know what?
My wife is divorcing me!
675
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:07,110
You can shove civil
right up your ass, lady!
676
00:38:07,184 --> 00:38:10,051
All right, fair enough.
Why don't you have a seat?
677
00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:13,090
I don't want to sit down!
God damn it!
678
00:38:13,157 --> 00:38:14,419
OK, stand.
679
00:38:14,492 --> 00:38:16,426
What did you do? You cast
some kind of spell on her?
680
00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:18,928
You some kind of voodoo
queen, is that it?
681
00:38:18,996 --> 00:38:20,861
Actually, I was
raised Catholic.
682
00:38:20,931 --> 00:38:24,264
Fuck you! I mean,
look at this place!
683
00:38:24,335 --> 00:38:28,931
This office! I mean,
it's fucking huge!
684
00:38:29,006 --> 00:38:31,634
You could have anyone,
anyone you want, any man, woman!
685
00:38:31,709 --> 00:38:36,271
You have to pick my wife?
I mean, that's just... lazy!
686
00:38:36,347 --> 00:38:38,941
Why did it have to be my wife?
687
00:38:39,016 --> 00:38:41,007
Greta is a very
attractive woman.
688
00:38:41,085 --> 00:38:44,316
She's not attractive.
She's my wife.
689
00:38:44,388 --> 00:38:46,549
You seem to take a very
possessive view of this.
690
00:38:46,624 --> 00:38:48,956
Hey, don't try any of
your Jedi mind tricks...
691
00:38:49,026 --> 00:38:50,357
and make this all about me!
692
00:38:50,428 --> 00:38:52,794
All right, Dave,
tell me something.
693
00:38:52,863 --> 00:38:56,094
How... how would you
describe sex with Greta...
694
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:58,101
prior to the moment...
695
00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,966
when you found her
in post-coital bliss...
696
00:39:00,037 --> 00:39:01,026
with another woman?
697
00:39:01,105 --> 00:39:03,801
My wife is not a lesbian!
698
00:39:03,874 --> 00:39:05,466
It's not like
I slipped her a Mickey...
699
00:39:05,543 --> 00:39:06,771
and had my way with her.
700
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:08,709
I mean, she would have
slept with a woman eventually.
701
00:39:08,779 --> 00:39:10,303
If not me, then someone else.
702
00:39:10,381 --> 00:39:12,144
You're full of shit!
703
00:39:12,216 --> 00:39:13,979
I think that
you should accept...
704
00:39:14,051 --> 00:39:16,815
that Greta has figured out
what she wants...
705
00:39:16,887 --> 00:39:19,822
and maybe it's time
for you to do the same.
706
00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:21,790
I want my wife back!
707
00:39:21,859 --> 00:39:23,156
I don't see that happening.
708
00:39:23,227 --> 00:39:26,162
You are a fucking predator.
That's what you are!
709
00:39:26,230 --> 00:39:27,663
Like a lioness?
710
00:39:27,732 --> 00:39:29,165
Or a cheetah?
711
00:39:29,233 --> 00:39:30,495
Yeah. That's right.
712
00:39:30,568 --> 00:39:31,967
You know, you just
slink into our lives...
713
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,469
with your hot talk and...
714
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:37,166
oh, your incredible body...
715
00:39:37,241 --> 00:39:38,503
and you slip
your panties off...
716
00:39:38,576 --> 00:39:41,044
and you expect everybody
to drop everything and look!
717
00:39:41,112 --> 00:39:42,636
I'm not wearing any.
718
00:39:42,713 --> 00:39:44,237
- What?
- Panties.
719
00:39:44,315 --> 00:39:45,339
What?
720
00:39:45,416 --> 00:39:48,874
Dave, do you know what you need?
721
00:39:48,953 --> 00:39:51,683
You need to fuck someone.
722
00:39:52,923 --> 00:39:54,550
You're evil.
723
00:39:54,625 --> 00:39:56,684
Is that what you
want me to be?
724
00:39:56,761 --> 00:39:59,161
You are the coldest,
most manipulative woman...
725
00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:00,663
I've ever met in my life!
726
00:40:00,731 --> 00:40:03,894
Talk, talk, talk.
727
00:40:03,968 --> 00:40:05,560
Fuck you!
728
00:40:13,377 --> 00:40:15,538
The woman who seduced your wife?
729
00:40:15,613 --> 00:40:17,706
Shit, dude, you got to
write a porn movie.
730
00:40:17,782 --> 00:40:19,716
I'm telling you, man.
731
00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:21,376
You told me to be out there.
732
00:40:21,452 --> 00:40:23,386
I got out there.
She was amazing.
733
00:40:23,454 --> 00:40:25,046
For the first time
in my life...
734
00:40:25,122 --> 00:40:26,555
I know what it's like
to be you.
735
00:40:26,624 --> 00:40:28,319
Hot blood is pumping
through my veins.
736
00:40:28,392 --> 00:40:29,359
It's liberating!
737
00:40:29,427 --> 00:40:30,689
Quit it. Now you're
starting to creep me out.
738
00:40:30,761 --> 00:40:33,093
I'm sorry, but it just
feels fucking great.
739
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,458
It's a fucking shoe commercial.
740
00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:40,737
Oh, hey, listen,
I need a favor.
741
00:40:40,805 --> 00:40:41,965
What's up?
742
00:40:42,039 --> 00:40:43,631
Emily's coming
to town tomorrow...
743
00:40:43,707 --> 00:40:45,402
and I need, like, an hour.
744
00:40:45,476 --> 00:40:47,068
What's so important?
745
00:40:47,144 --> 00:40:48,771
Her name is Uta.
746
00:40:48,846 --> 00:40:50,677
What are you going
to tell Emily?
747
00:40:50,748 --> 00:40:52,875
I'll tell Emily that
we're doing a photo shoot...
748
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:54,349
at the apartment
and she can't be there.
749
00:40:55,619 --> 00:40:56,916
What?
750
00:40:56,987 --> 00:40:58,579
Look, I don't have...
751
00:40:58,656 --> 00:41:00,214
the slightest trace
of a conscience, OK?
752
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,451
Is that what you
want to hear?
753
00:41:01,525 --> 00:41:04,722
Are you going to
help me out or not?
754
00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:05,762
I don't know.
755
00:41:05,830 --> 00:41:07,821
What's with
the moral stance here?
756
00:41:07,898 --> 00:41:10,059
Does Greta know about Lily?
757
00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:11,396
I sure as shit hope not.
758
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:12,731
All right.
So here's what we do.
759
00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:13,929
We're going to tell
Emily that we'll meet...
760
00:41:14,004 --> 00:41:15,437
at the Mod at, like,
8:00 for drinks, OK?
761
00:41:15,506 --> 00:41:17,736
You get there first.
I'll show up a little late...
762
00:41:17,808 --> 00:41:19,605
and just say
the shoot went over.
763
00:41:19,677 --> 00:41:20,735
Sorry.
764
00:41:38,028 --> 00:41:39,290
Andrea.
765
00:41:39,363 --> 00:41:44,494
Jake. Oh, my God. Hey.
766
00:41:45,903 --> 00:41:47,996
What a nice surprise.
767
00:41:48,072 --> 00:41:49,767
Thank you.
768
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,502
Gosh, I haven't
seen you since...
769
00:41:52,576 --> 00:41:54,100
Cal's party.
770
00:41:54,178 --> 00:41:55,645
Right.
771
00:41:55,713 --> 00:41:58,375
I've been meaning
to call you about that.
772
00:41:58,449 --> 00:42:00,474
Oh. Oh, really?
773
00:42:00,551 --> 00:42:01,984
Yeah.
774
00:42:02,052 --> 00:42:04,680
Do you have his phone number?
775
00:42:05,756 --> 00:42:06,916
What?
776
00:42:06,991 --> 00:42:10,483
The poop never called me.
777
00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:13,530
I want to see if he
wants to hook up again.
778
00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:17,428
You're kidding, right?
779
00:42:17,501 --> 00:42:19,628
No.
780
00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:24,068
Andrea, we went
to that party together.
781
00:42:24,141 --> 00:42:26,769
Yeah.
782
00:42:28,212 --> 00:42:30,908
You know, I deserve
an explanation.
783
00:42:30,981 --> 00:42:33,211
Come on.
Please, tell me.
784
00:42:33,284 --> 00:42:37,084
Please, please, please,
please, tell me!
785
00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:42,787
I just liked him
better than you.
786
00:42:50,935 --> 00:42:54,564
I couldn't get this stain out.
787
00:43:19,830 --> 00:43:22,298
Hey, Jake, you know
who wrote "Vanity Fair"?
788
00:43:22,366 --> 00:43:24,061
- Thackeray.
- Thackeray.
789
00:43:24,134 --> 00:43:25,863
Thackeray...
in stereo.
790
00:43:27,938 --> 00:43:29,235
You a fan?
791
00:43:29,306 --> 00:43:32,366
Actually, I prefer
Henry James.
792
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:34,968
I find James to be
boring and pedantic.
793
00:43:35,045 --> 00:43:36,979
Really?
794
00:43:37,047 --> 00:43:39,106
No. I just always
wanted to say that.
795
00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:47,450
So, can I
buy you a drink?
796
00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:49,752
Sure.
797
00:43:49,827 --> 00:43:51,590
Great. Hey, Mike.
Can I get another round...
798
00:43:51,662 --> 00:43:53,425
and a little something
for the lady?
799
00:43:53,497 --> 00:43:54,759
Grey Goose martini, please.
800
00:43:54,832 --> 00:43:56,231
Thanks.
801
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,962
It's nice to see
someone else drinking alone.
802
00:43:59,036 --> 00:44:01,231
Oh, come on.
803
00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:03,899
You're charming.
You're well read.
804
00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:05,737
I mean, how bad can it be?
805
00:44:05,809 --> 00:44:06,741
You don't want to know.
806
00:44:06,810 --> 00:44:09,335
All right, try me.
Give me an example.
807
00:44:10,681 --> 00:44:12,672
OK. Here's the latest.
808
00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:15,275
I'm dating this girl,
and we're dating for a while...
809
00:44:15,352 --> 00:44:18,116
and I think that, you know,
she might be the one.
810
00:44:18,188 --> 00:44:20,782
And about 3 weeks ago,
I take her to this party...
811
00:44:20,858 --> 00:44:23,918
and she ends up going to bed,
while I'm still there...
812
00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:25,723
with the guy
who threw the party.
813
00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:30,457
And he's got
a girlfriend, to boot.
814
00:44:30,534 --> 00:44:32,866
Oh, what an asshole.
815
00:44:32,936 --> 00:44:35,666
You have no idea.
816
00:44:35,739 --> 00:44:37,468
How did his girlfriend
not know?
817
00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:40,669
Evidently she travels a lot.
818
00:44:40,744 --> 00:44:42,211
Really?
819
00:44:42,279 --> 00:44:44,611
But still...
what kind of idiot...
820
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:47,674
would she have to be
not to have caught on by now?
821
00:44:47,751 --> 00:44:50,151
Yeah. Well, what does
the boyfriend do?
822
00:44:50,220 --> 00:44:51,983
Fashion photographer.
Can you believe that?
823
00:44:52,056 --> 00:44:53,318
What a clich�.
824
00:44:53,390 --> 00:44:55,483
He's been living with
this girl for, like, 5 years...
825
00:44:55,559 --> 00:44:58,392
and he sleeps with a new model
every night of the week.
826
00:45:02,232 --> 00:45:03,722
What's his name?
827
00:45:03,801 --> 00:45:05,632
Why?
828
00:45:07,304 --> 00:45:08,828
Why? Wait.
What's yours?
829
00:45:08,906 --> 00:45:10,373
Emily!
830
00:45:10,441 --> 00:45:11,840
Hey, sorry I'm late.
831
00:45:11,909 --> 00:45:14,309
I got caught up at work.
Is Cal here yet?
832
00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:15,310
Jake, what are you
doing here?
833
00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:16,539
No, listen, l...
834
00:45:16,613 --> 00:45:19,673
I think your pal here
was just telling me...
835
00:45:19,750 --> 00:45:23,208
how Cal fucked his girlfriend
at a party at my place.
836
00:45:23,287 --> 00:45:25,847
I'm sorry.
What? What?!
837
00:45:25,923 --> 00:45:27,117
L... l...
838
00:45:27,191 --> 00:45:29,989
Dave, has Cal
been cheating on me...
839
00:45:30,060 --> 00:45:32,426
for the last 5 years?
840
00:45:32,496 --> 00:45:34,157
I beg your pardon?
841
00:45:36,734 --> 00:45:38,133
You knew.
842
00:45:40,871 --> 00:45:41,860
What the fuck
just happened here?
843
00:45:41,939 --> 00:45:43,998
Hey, hey, hey!
L... l... l...
844
00:45:44,074 --> 00:45:46,872
Did you tell Emily that
Cal's been cheating on her?
845
00:45:46,944 --> 00:45:49,037
How was I supposed
to know who she was?
846
00:45:49,113 --> 00:45:50,705
What are you doing
here, anyway?
847
00:45:50,781 --> 00:45:52,715
What are you, high?
I'm always here.
848
00:45:52,783 --> 00:45:55,411
This is not good.
849
00:45:58,155 --> 00:46:00,555
Hey. Leave it at the beep.
850
00:46:00,624 --> 00:46:03,058
Cal. Cal, it's Dave. Pick up.
851
00:46:03,127 --> 00:46:05,721
Emily knows.
She's on her way over.
852
00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:08,856
Just call me back.
853
00:46:08,932 --> 00:46:11,230
I don't know what the fuck
you're saying...
854
00:46:11,301 --> 00:46:12,666
but keep going.
855
00:46:17,908 --> 00:46:18,875
Right here.
856
00:46:27,484 --> 00:46:28,917
Hey.
857
00:46:28,986 --> 00:46:30,453
How you doing?
858
00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:33,354
You fucking asshole!
859
00:46:34,992 --> 00:46:36,323
What was that for?
860
00:46:36,393 --> 00:46:37,587
You're an asshole.
861
00:46:37,661 --> 00:46:38,593
What?
862
00:46:38,662 --> 00:46:39,629
Cheating on me.
863
00:46:39,696 --> 00:46:41,254
No, I haven't.
864
00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:47,095
You have somebody
here right now.
865
00:46:47,171 --> 00:46:48,604
No, I don't.
866
00:46:58,849 --> 00:47:00,316
Asshole!
867
00:47:15,866 --> 00:47:17,663
Did she do that to you?
868
00:47:18,869 --> 00:47:20,268
Yeah. She has
a hell of a right.
869
00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:25,304
Dude, what the fuck
happened, man?
870
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:27,104
You were supposed to
keep her at the bar.
871
00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:29,805
Well, I... I was
a little late...
872
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:32,178
and she was talking to Jake.
873
00:47:36,386 --> 00:47:38,286
She was talking to Jake?
874
00:47:38,355 --> 00:47:41,483
He... accidentally...
875
00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:44,118
Told her?
That fucker told her?
876
00:47:44,194 --> 00:47:45,320
Oh, fuck!
877
00:47:45,395 --> 00:47:47,192
I'm going to kill
that whiny little prick!
878
00:47:47,264 --> 00:47:49,061
He didn't know
who she was.
879
00:47:49,132 --> 00:47:50,827
I'm going to kill him.
880
00:47:50,901 --> 00:47:53,870
Cal, where are my boots?
881
00:48:02,412 --> 00:48:05,210
Ah, here they are.
882
00:48:10,921 --> 00:48:13,014
Who the fuck was that?
883
00:48:16,426 --> 00:48:18,189
Uta.
884
00:48:22,432 --> 00:48:24,400
What is she still doing here?
885
00:48:24,468 --> 00:48:27,437
I guess the fireworks
kind of turned her on.
886
00:48:27,504 --> 00:48:30,701
So you slept with her again?
887
00:48:30,774 --> 00:48:33,709
Yeah. What was I going to do,
blow my brains out?
888
00:48:44,788 --> 00:48:49,885
You know, you have
this thing with someone...
889
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:53,157
and you think it's special.
890
00:48:55,799 --> 00:48:59,530
He's the only guy
I've ever slept with.
891
00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:01,764
You've never been
with anybody else?
892
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:04,902
No.
893
00:49:04,975 --> 00:49:07,603
And you never had any idea?
894
00:49:07,678 --> 00:49:09,236
I mean... yeah...
895
00:49:09,313 --> 00:49:11,076
there was always
models around...
896
00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:14,481
but Cal's a fashion
photographer.
897
00:49:14,551 --> 00:49:15,950
Photographer.
898
00:49:20,023 --> 00:49:21,991
He's still a total shit.
899
00:49:22,059 --> 00:49:24,584
I can't believe
Dave fucking knew.
900
00:49:24,661 --> 00:49:27,129
They're all assholes.
901
00:49:27,197 --> 00:49:28,994
True, true.
902
00:49:30,500 --> 00:49:32,263
Well, don't worry
about a thing, Em.
903
00:49:32,336 --> 00:49:34,065
You can stay here
as long as you need.
904
00:49:58,028 --> 00:49:59,495
Sorry, dude. Emergency.
905
00:50:07,037 --> 00:50:08,629
What's going on, man?
906
00:50:08,705 --> 00:50:10,138
Hey, Jake.
Love your shampoo.
907
00:50:10,207 --> 00:50:12,300
Where did you get it?
908
00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:17,275
Lily's in my shower.
909
00:50:17,347 --> 00:50:18,939
Yeah.
910
00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:22,110
The woman who humiliated me
and destroyed your marriage...
911
00:50:22,185 --> 00:50:24,153
is in my bathroom
taking a shower.
912
00:50:24,221 --> 00:50:26,155
You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?
913
00:50:26,223 --> 00:50:28,657
Well, you know,
a couple of weeks ago...
914
00:50:28,725 --> 00:50:30,454
when Greta gave me
the divorce papers?
915
00:50:30,527 --> 00:50:32,461
I went to Lily's office
to confront her.
916
00:50:32,529 --> 00:50:33,496
Well, the next thing I know...
917
00:50:33,563 --> 00:50:35,793
we're having sex on her desk.
918
00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:37,128
This is insane!
919
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,168
After everything
that bisexual freak did...
920
00:50:39,236 --> 00:50:40,669
you're diddling her?
921
00:50:40,737 --> 00:50:43,171
She prefers the term
omnisexual.
922
00:50:43,240 --> 00:50:45,800
Who gives a shit?
923
00:50:45,876 --> 00:50:47,810
You know she's in there
using my shampoo?
924
00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:50,176
I don't want to share
my shampoo with that woman!
925
00:50:50,247 --> 00:50:51,680
Wait. What are you doing?
926
00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:56,450
That's my shampoo.
Give me my shampoo!
927
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:57,817
This! These are mine!
928
00:50:57,888 --> 00:50:58,980
What the hell
are you doing?
929
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:00,489
She can fucking drip-dry.
930
00:51:00,557 --> 00:51:01,819
I gave you a place to stay...
931
00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:03,189
when you had nowhere else to go.
932
00:51:03,260 --> 00:51:06,388
Is this how you repay me,
by going behind my back?
933
00:51:06,463 --> 00:51:08,624
Jake, you don't understand.
934
00:51:08,698 --> 00:51:12,464
I mean, this woman,
this woman is so porn.
935
00:51:12,536 --> 00:51:13,833
Hey, I've watched porn.
936
00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:15,337
I've seen John Holmes
in action.
937
00:51:15,405 --> 00:51:17,032
Believe me,
you're no John Holmes.
938
00:51:17,107 --> 00:51:18,574
I'm not saying
I'm John Holmes!
939
00:51:18,642 --> 00:51:20,439
You're Cal.
940
00:51:20,510 --> 00:51:21,977
Wait a minute.
What are you talking about?
941
00:51:22,045 --> 00:51:23,034
You want to
be him so badly...
942
00:51:23,113 --> 00:51:24,205
you even fucked my date!
943
00:51:24,281 --> 00:51:25,509
Wake up, Dave,
and while you're at it...
944
00:51:25,582 --> 00:51:26,708
get the fuck
out of my apartment.
945
00:51:26,783 --> 00:51:28,148
- Come on, Jake.
- You heard me.
946
00:51:28,218 --> 00:51:30,448
When I get back, I want you
and that velociraptor gone.
947
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:31,987
Jake, come on. Jake.
948
00:51:51,808 --> 00:51:53,400
Hello.
949
00:51:53,477 --> 00:51:56,071
Hello. Is this Emily?
950
00:51:56,146 --> 00:51:57,408
Yeah.
951
00:51:57,481 --> 00:51:59,073
Hi. It's Jake.
952
00:51:59,149 --> 00:52:01,379
From the bar.
953
00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:04,887
I spilled the beans about Cal.
954
00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:06,081
What do you want?
955
00:52:06,156 --> 00:52:08,590
I was wondering
if we could talk.
956
00:52:08,658 --> 00:52:10,751
Can I come up?
957
00:52:10,827 --> 00:52:13,261
No. I'll come down.
958
00:52:13,330 --> 00:52:16,265
I'll be the guy
on the stoop.
959
00:52:16,333 --> 00:52:17,800
Hello?
960
00:52:27,511 --> 00:52:28,910
What?
961
00:52:30,413 --> 00:52:31,402
Look, I know we didn't meet...
962
00:52:31,481 --> 00:52:32,743
under the best
of circumstances...
963
00:52:32,816 --> 00:52:34,750
but I just wanted
to let you know...
964
00:52:34,818 --> 00:52:37,343
that I feel like a total
jerk for what happened.
965
00:52:37,420 --> 00:52:39,547
That makes two of us.
966
00:52:39,623 --> 00:52:42,285
Wait. We both think
I'm a jerk...
967
00:52:42,359 --> 00:52:44,020
or we both feel like jerks?
968
00:52:44,094 --> 00:52:47,120
Draw your own conclusion.
969
00:52:47,197 --> 00:52:48,755
Look, it was easy for me...
970
00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:51,528
to think of you in the
abstract as some idiot.
971
00:52:51,601 --> 00:52:55,002
In fact, the only
idiot here is me.
972
00:52:57,707 --> 00:53:01,108
No, you were right.
I was an idiot.
973
00:53:06,216 --> 00:53:08,150
If I could take it back,
I would.
974
00:53:08,218 --> 00:53:09,981
So you're saying
you'd be like Dave...
975
00:53:10,053 --> 00:53:12,817
and just let Cal keep
doing what he was doing?
976
00:53:12,889 --> 00:53:14,322
I'm just saying
I don't know...
977
00:53:14,391 --> 00:53:15,824
if I could say
something like that...
978
00:53:15,892 --> 00:53:18,019
to someone if I knew
it would hurt them.
979
00:53:18,094 --> 00:53:20,961
What are you,
one of these nice guys?
980
00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:23,022
Is that your thing?
981
00:53:24,568 --> 00:53:26,160
Does that work on anyone?
982
00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:29,603
Because it's been monumentally
unsuccessful so far.
983
00:53:31,241 --> 00:53:35,371
Yeah. Well, I guess
I wouldn't know.
984
00:53:36,413 --> 00:53:37,812
I have a theory.
985
00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:39,849
You can be either
one of two things...
986
00:53:39,916 --> 00:53:42,908
in a relationship...
a pig or a chicken.
987
00:53:45,555 --> 00:53:48,149
In a ham and egg breakfast...
988
00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:51,456
the chicken is involved,
but the pig is committed.
989
00:53:51,528 --> 00:53:53,462
So, you didn't do
anything wrong.
990
00:53:53,530 --> 00:53:54,861
It's just that...
991
00:53:54,931 --> 00:53:58,890
you're a pig who got into
a relationship with a chicken.
992
00:54:00,437 --> 00:54:03,270
All right. I get that
whole little story there.
993
00:54:05,108 --> 00:54:08,635
Except for the part
about me being a pig.
994
00:54:10,413 --> 00:54:12,506
OK, yeah, that was
a bad analogy...
995
00:54:12,582 --> 00:54:13,674
and it needs work, but...
996
00:54:15,485 --> 00:54:20,320
But... see, you're a good person
who deserves the best.
997
00:54:22,325 --> 00:54:24,623
In fact... in fact,
say that with me.
998
00:54:26,463 --> 00:54:28,226
I can't hear you.
I want to...
999
00:54:28,298 --> 00:54:30,129
I am a great person...
1000
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:32,031
I'm a great person.
1001
00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:33,228
Who deserves the best.
1002
00:54:33,303 --> 00:54:34,930
Who deserves the best.
1003
00:54:35,005 --> 00:54:36,063
And I will buy you
a fudgsicle.
1004
00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:39,006
OK. And I will accept.
Thank you.
1005
00:54:39,075 --> 00:54:41,407
No. You are going to
buy me a fudgsicle.
1006
00:54:41,478 --> 00:54:42,775
You're supposed to repeat me.
1007
00:54:42,846 --> 00:54:44,245
Oh, you're really funny.
1008
00:54:44,314 --> 00:54:46,077
Thank you very much.
Did you bring any change?
1009
00:54:46,149 --> 00:54:47,411
No. You're going to buy me one.
1010
00:54:47,484 --> 00:54:48,951
- I'm Not buying you anything.
- Yes, you are.
1011
00:54:55,225 --> 00:54:58,422
My client only has one
simple stipulation.
1012
00:54:58,495 --> 00:55:01,931
Greta Siegel was caught
in flagrante delicto...
1013
00:55:01,998 --> 00:55:03,124
with a woman.
1014
00:55:03,199 --> 00:55:05,633
So this entitles him
to everything?
1015
00:55:05,702 --> 00:55:07,101
So they bought
the apartment together.
1016
00:55:07,170 --> 00:55:08,432
He's supposed to walk away
from the equity?
1017
00:55:08,505 --> 00:55:10,268
Well, if she keeps up
the mortgage payments...
1018
00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:11,637
how will that affect...
1019
00:55:11,708 --> 00:55:13,471
You're dancing around
the issue, counselor.
1020
00:55:13,543 --> 00:55:15,272
Do we really have to
go through all this?
1021
00:55:15,345 --> 00:55:16,778
You tell me.
I'm not the one...
1022
00:55:16,846 --> 00:55:18,108
who walked away
from this marriage.
1023
00:55:18,181 --> 00:55:19,375
Take it easy, Dave.
1024
00:55:19,449 --> 00:55:21,417
Mr. Siegel, have you had
sexual intercourse at all...
1025
00:55:21,484 --> 00:55:23,543
since you moved out
of your apartment?
1026
00:55:23,620 --> 00:55:24,780
What's that got to do
with anything?
1027
00:55:24,854 --> 00:55:25,912
Will you let me
handle this?
1028
00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:27,320
What has that got
to do with anything?
1029
00:55:27,390 --> 00:55:28,448
Just trying to establish...
1030
00:55:28,525 --> 00:55:30,584
if your client is moving on
with his life, and if so...
1031
00:55:30,660 --> 00:55:32,491
I think that does have
a bearing on the situation.
1032
00:55:32,562 --> 00:55:33,961
You do not have to answer that.
1033
00:55:34,030 --> 00:55:36,294
Actually, I would
like to answer that.
1034
00:55:36,366 --> 00:55:37,663
Yes.
1035
00:55:37,734 --> 00:55:40,965
I have slept
with someone since.
1036
00:55:42,539 --> 00:55:43,801
Who?
1037
00:55:43,873 --> 00:55:46,103
Please. Who?
1038
00:55:48,378 --> 00:55:52,246
One Lily Kildear.
1039
00:55:54,617 --> 00:55:55,914
What?
1040
00:55:55,985 --> 00:55:57,145
That's right.
1041
00:55:57,220 --> 00:55:59,620
Wait a minute. Dave,
you slept with Lily Kildear?
1042
00:55:59,689 --> 00:56:02,317
That being the woman
with whom I caught my wife...
1043
00:56:02,392 --> 00:56:04,690
in flagrante de...
whatever.
1044
00:56:04,761 --> 00:56:05,728
Really?
1045
00:56:05,795 --> 00:56:07,228
Dave, why didn't you
tell me this?
1046
00:56:07,297 --> 00:56:08,457
- How long?
- Why?
1047
00:56:08,531 --> 00:56:09,463
What difference does it make?
1048
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:10,658
She's a lawyer in this firm.
1049
00:56:10,734 --> 00:56:11,996
She's about to
be made a partner.
1050
00:56:12,068 --> 00:56:13,558
How do you think I found
you guys... subway ads?
1051
00:56:13,636 --> 00:56:14,660
How long?
1052
00:56:14,738 --> 00:56:16,137
Holy shit.
1053
00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:18,401
Please strike
my last remark.
1054
00:56:18,475 --> 00:56:19,567
I think you should
leave that in the record.
1055
00:56:19,642 --> 00:56:20,574
What do you mean? You can't
represent me anymore?
1056
00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,076
Hey! How long
have you been sleeping...
1057
00:56:22,145 --> 00:56:23,669
with my girlfriend?
1058
00:56:23,747 --> 00:56:25,908
Oh, so now she's
your girlfriend.
1059
00:56:25,982 --> 00:56:27,347
Did you get that?
1060
00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:29,078
I'm going to ask you
to stop talking.
1061
00:56:29,152 --> 00:56:30,483
Not until after you did it,
if that's what you're asking...
1062
00:56:30,553 --> 00:56:32,851
but with great frequency
since then.
1063
00:56:32,922 --> 00:56:34,184
Dave, you don't want
to say things like that.
1064
00:56:34,257 --> 00:56:35,690
I've heard of some pretty
shitty things, Dave...
1065
00:56:35,759 --> 00:56:37,090
but this is a new low.
1066
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:38,855
Why don't we just
settle this right now?
1067
00:56:38,928 --> 00:56:40,361
What are you talking about?
1068
00:56:40,430 --> 00:56:42,762
This is her firm, right?
1069
00:56:44,601 --> 00:56:47,468
You fucking prick!
1070
00:56:48,638 --> 00:56:50,538
I've been banging
her brains out, Greta.
1071
00:56:50,607 --> 00:56:52,905
She said so herself.
How's your sex been?
1072
00:56:52,976 --> 00:56:54,170
Go fuck yourself.
1073
00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:56,235
Don't need to. Getting
all I can handle from her.
1074
00:56:57,414 --> 00:56:58,381
Did you see that?
1075
00:56:58,448 --> 00:57:00,746
Spousal abuse.
Add that to the list.
1076
00:57:00,817 --> 00:57:02,216
Where's Lily Kildear?
1077
00:57:02,285 --> 00:57:04,048
She's... back there.
1078
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:05,815
But you can't go back there!
1079
00:57:05,889 --> 00:57:07,823
You can't go in there, sir!
1080
00:57:07,891 --> 00:57:09,222
- Hey, Sheila.
- Hey.
1081
00:57:09,292 --> 00:57:11,226
You can't go back there, folks.
1082
00:57:11,294 --> 00:57:12,420
Thanks.
1083
00:57:12,495 --> 00:57:13,894
Well, absolutely not.
1084
00:57:13,963 --> 00:57:15,590
If he doesn't sign
on the dotted line at 3 p. M...
1085
00:57:15,665 --> 00:57:16,723
How could you?
1086
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:18,927
I will call you right back.
1087
00:57:21,304 --> 00:57:22,999
How could I what, Greta?
1088
00:57:23,072 --> 00:57:24,562
How could you
sleep with Dave?
1089
00:57:24,641 --> 00:57:25,869
I thought that we had
something special.
1090
00:57:25,942 --> 00:57:27,739
You thought you had
something special?
1091
00:57:27,811 --> 00:57:29,438
Oh, this is great.
1092
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:31,412
Hi, Hal.
1093
00:57:31,481 --> 00:57:33,915
Lily.
1094
00:57:33,983 --> 00:57:35,041
What's going on here?
1095
00:57:35,118 --> 00:57:36,585
I'll tell you
what's going on!
1096
00:57:36,653 --> 00:57:38,917
You cheated on me with him.
1097
00:57:38,988 --> 00:57:41,047
Like you did
on him with me?
1098
00:57:41,124 --> 00:57:42,216
Exactly.
1099
00:57:43,827 --> 00:57:45,260
I won't stand for this.
1100
00:57:45,328 --> 00:57:47,421
Why don't you just
make a choice right now?
1101
00:57:47,497 --> 00:57:49,692
Her or... me.
1102
00:57:57,807 --> 00:57:59,274
Neither one of you.
1103
00:58:00,510 --> 00:58:01,636
What?
1104
00:58:01,711 --> 00:58:03,008
I beg your pardon?
1105
00:58:03,079 --> 00:58:04,444
Ever seen one
like this before?
1106
00:58:04,514 --> 00:58:05,742
Prayed for it.
1107
00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:08,181
Wait, wait. Are you...
are you serious?
1108
00:58:08,251 --> 00:58:10,981
I don't understand.
1109
00:58:12,689 --> 00:58:15,749
Listen, Greta, sweetie,
what we had was wonderful...
1110
00:58:15,825 --> 00:58:20,262
but that happily-ever-after
thing really isn't my style.
1111
00:58:21,531 --> 00:58:23,931
I think I'm gonna be sick.
1112
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:26,969
Look, you both got something
you badly needed...
1113
00:58:27,036 --> 00:58:28,901
and we've had a good time.
1114
00:58:44,220 --> 00:58:45,983
You still find this a...
1115
00:58:46,055 --> 00:58:47,818
conflict of interest?
1116
00:58:47,891 --> 00:58:49,483
Well, it's tricky.
1117
00:58:49,559 --> 00:58:50,856
Good. You're fired.
1118
00:58:55,565 --> 00:58:57,658
You're a piece of work.
1119
00:58:57,734 --> 00:59:00,464
You're not getting
in my pants, Hal.
1120
00:59:01,871 --> 00:59:04,533
Worth a shot, eh?
1121
00:59:14,183 --> 00:59:16,048
All right.
1122
00:59:18,755 --> 00:59:22,054
I'll just...
get the door.
1123
00:59:25,762 --> 00:59:26,990
Good.
1124
00:59:27,063 --> 00:59:28,690
Try your hand up.
1125
00:59:28,765 --> 00:59:30,790
That's it. Good.
1126
00:59:33,770 --> 00:59:35,294
Turn around.
1127
00:59:42,946 --> 00:59:45,506
We'll take a break
for a second.
1128
01:01:25,882 --> 01:01:27,645
Thank you for meeting me.
1129
01:01:27,717 --> 01:01:29,207
What do you want, Cal?
1130
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,317
I just want to talk to you.
1131
01:01:32,388 --> 01:01:33,650
Then talk.
1132
01:01:33,723 --> 01:01:35,156
Can't we walk?
1133
01:01:35,224 --> 01:01:39,183
You want to walk
and talk? Fine.
1134
01:01:41,731 --> 01:01:43,665
I'm really sorry, Emily.
1135
01:01:43,733 --> 01:01:45,496
Great. Is that it?
1136
01:01:45,568 --> 01:01:48,002
No, that's not it.
1137
01:01:48,071 --> 01:01:50,665
You really look great.
1138
01:01:50,740 --> 01:01:53,140
What do you want, Cal?
1139
01:01:53,209 --> 01:01:55,177
You've been hanging out
with Jake a lot, huh?
1140
01:01:55,244 --> 01:01:57,405
Yeah. He's been
really supportive.
1141
01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:59,448
Emily, marry me.
1142
01:01:59,515 --> 01:02:00,982
What?
1143
01:02:01,050 --> 01:02:02,347
Are you crazy?
1144
01:02:02,418 --> 01:02:04,283
I'm ready to make
a commitment.
1145
01:02:04,353 --> 01:02:05,820
Well, I was committed,
but you were too busy...
1146
01:02:05,888 --> 01:02:07,981
screwing your way through
a Victoria's Secret catalog.
1147
01:02:08,057 --> 01:02:09,684
You are the best thing
that ever happened to me...
1148
01:02:09,759 --> 01:02:11,624
and I refuse to let you go
without a fight.
1149
01:02:14,297 --> 01:02:16,697
I just... I need
to think for a second.
1150
01:02:16,766 --> 01:02:20,998
While you're thinking,
take a look at this.
1151
01:02:21,070 --> 01:02:22,970
Oh, my God.
1152
01:02:24,874 --> 01:02:27,035
I swear to you, I am
through with other women.
1153
01:02:27,110 --> 01:02:29,044
I've sown my wild oats,
and statistically speaking...
1154
01:02:29,112 --> 01:02:30,704
I'm less likely
to cheat on you...
1155
01:02:30,780 --> 01:02:32,714
or have a mid-life
crisis at this point.
1156
01:02:32,782 --> 01:02:34,215
Wait a second.
1157
01:02:34,283 --> 01:02:36,581
How do I know that
you're being honest?
1158
01:02:36,652 --> 01:02:40,019
Just because you're
giving me some ring?
1159
01:02:40,089 --> 01:02:44,253
An incredibly gorgeous ring?
1160
01:02:45,962 --> 01:02:47,395
How do I know...
1161
01:02:47,463 --> 01:02:48,987
that you're not going
to betray me again?
1162
01:02:57,140 --> 01:02:59,370
A prenuptial agreement?
1163
01:02:59,442 --> 01:03:01,239
It says here
that if I cheat on you...
1164
01:03:01,310 --> 01:03:03,403
you're entitled to 70%
of everything that I have.
1165
01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:08,846
Well, I thought 70% was fair.
1166
01:03:08,918 --> 01:03:12,046
It is, but it's not about that.
1167
01:03:12,121 --> 01:03:14,055
It's the fact that
you're giving yourself...
1168
01:03:14,123 --> 01:03:16,717
an economic incentive
not to cheat on me.
1169
01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:18,761
I don't think you're seeing
the big picture here.
1170
01:03:18,828 --> 01:03:21,888
I wouldn't do this
if I didn't think that...
1171
01:03:21,964 --> 01:03:23,795
I could do this.
1172
01:03:25,501 --> 01:03:28,061
Emily, I love you so much.
1173
01:03:29,105 --> 01:03:31,130
Emily, please marry me.
1174
01:03:37,713 --> 01:03:39,340
She said yes.
1175
01:03:39,415 --> 01:03:40,382
Who?
1176
01:03:40,449 --> 01:03:42,280
Emily. We're getting married.
1177
01:03:42,351 --> 01:03:43,784
What?
1178
01:03:43,853 --> 01:03:45,753
That's right. I saw her today
and she agreed to marry me.
1179
01:03:45,822 --> 01:03:48,950
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
That seems awfully drastic, Cal.
1180
01:03:49,025 --> 01:03:50,458
I needed to do
something drastic, David.
1181
01:03:50,526 --> 01:03:51,788
I needed to turn
my life around.
1182
01:03:51,861 --> 01:03:53,294
Yeah, but are you sure
you're ready for this...
1183
01:03:53,362 --> 01:03:54,454
I mean, to be faithful?
1184
01:03:54,530 --> 01:03:56,623
You do know you're going
to have to be faithful, right?
1185
01:03:56,699 --> 01:03:57,757
Yes, yes, I know.
1186
01:03:57,834 --> 01:03:59,802
I'm giving you the best news
of my life here.
1187
01:03:59,869 --> 01:04:01,393
You're supposed
to be happy for me.
1188
01:04:01,470 --> 01:04:02,960
I come into the apartment,
it's like something...
1189
01:04:03,039 --> 01:04:04,472
out of "Invasion
of the Body Snatchers."
1190
01:04:04,540 --> 01:04:06,565
Where are you hiding the pods?
Where's my friend Cal?
1191
01:04:06,642 --> 01:04:08,610
What are you talking about?
1192
01:04:08,678 --> 01:04:09,975
You can't just change overnight.
1193
01:04:10,046 --> 01:04:11,377
You are who you are.
1194
01:04:11,447 --> 01:04:13,142
You know what?
Fuck you.
1195
01:04:13,216 --> 01:04:15,241
Fuck you,
and fuck your pods.
1196
01:04:15,318 --> 01:04:16,876
Just because your life
is in the toilet...
1197
01:04:16,953 --> 01:04:19,786
doesn't mean everyone else
has to live there, too.
1198
01:04:19,856 --> 01:04:21,653
I don't want everyone
to live in the toilet!
1199
01:04:21,724 --> 01:04:23,157
It's just that...
1200
01:04:23,226 --> 01:04:24,921
Christ, Dave, you know what?
1201
01:04:24,994 --> 01:04:27,326
I ask you over here to see
if you want to be my best man...
1202
01:04:27,396 --> 01:04:29,193
and you're acting like I just
took a dump on your forehead.
1203
01:04:31,901 --> 01:04:33,835
Your best man?
1204
01:04:33,903 --> 01:04:35,837
Yes.
1205
01:04:35,905 --> 01:04:37,372
God.
1206
01:04:39,008 --> 01:04:40,703
Well?
1207
01:04:42,411 --> 01:04:44,902
OK, sure.
I'll be your best man.
1208
01:04:44,981 --> 01:04:47,643
Ah, yes. Thank you.
1209
01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:49,344
I got to tell you,
I've never been more sure...
1210
01:04:49,418 --> 01:04:51,443
of anything
in my whole entire life.
1211
01:04:52,822 --> 01:04:54,084
I could kiss you.
1212
01:04:54,156 --> 01:04:55,885
There. I just did.
1213
01:05:03,933 --> 01:05:05,491
Yep. Come in.
1214
01:05:08,037 --> 01:05:10,369
Hey! What a nice surprise.
1215
01:05:10,439 --> 01:05:11,963
Can I come in?
1216
01:05:31,460 --> 01:05:33,394
Sorry. I thought
you'd be out.
1217
01:05:33,462 --> 01:05:35,896
I just wanted to get
some of my stuff.
1218
01:05:35,965 --> 01:05:37,592
Don't worry about it.
1219
01:05:40,970 --> 01:05:43,336
So, I see you've painted...
1220
01:05:44,407 --> 01:05:46,898
and unpacked.
1221
01:05:46,976 --> 01:05:49,536
Seems like you're
really settling in here.
1222
01:05:49,612 --> 01:05:52,638
Dave, don't make this
more difficult than it is.
1223
01:05:52,715 --> 01:05:54,410
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm being difficult?
1224
01:05:54,483 --> 01:05:56,041
I'm not the one
who decided to embark...
1225
01:05:56,118 --> 01:05:58,882
on some kind of
lesbian sex odyssey.
1226
01:05:58,955 --> 01:06:00,252
I mean, how the fuck...
1227
01:06:00,323 --> 01:06:01,915
could you do this
all of a sudden?
1228
01:06:01,991 --> 01:06:04,892
It's like the way you drive.
You don't use your signals.
1229
01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:07,054
You've got to give a person
some kind of a warning.
1230
01:06:07,129 --> 01:06:08,858
What are you talking about?
1231
01:06:08,931 --> 01:06:11,058
I'm talking about
giving a person a warning...
1232
01:06:11,133 --> 01:06:12,930
some signals,
not blind-siding somebody.
1233
01:06:13,002 --> 01:06:14,936
You remember that time
we drove out to the beach...
1234
01:06:15,004 --> 01:06:16,938
and you side-swiped
that old guy in the Lincoln?
1235
01:06:17,006 --> 01:06:19,440
I mean, that was because
you weren't using your signals.
1236
01:06:19,508 --> 01:06:21,100
You tried to merge without...
1237
01:06:21,177 --> 01:06:23,873
Shut up!
1238
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:34,614
I don't think
you have any idea...
1239
01:06:34,690 --> 01:06:37,056
how hard this is on me, too.
1240
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:48,660
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I...
1241
01:06:50,206 --> 01:06:52,936
I know this is hard for you...
1242
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:54,943
and I know...
1243
01:06:55,011 --> 01:06:58,447
we've had our problems, but...
1244
01:06:58,514 --> 01:07:01,142
there was good stuff, too.
1245
01:07:01,217 --> 01:07:04,948
There was.
There was. There is.
1246
01:07:05,021 --> 01:07:07,216
I don't know.
1247
01:07:20,069 --> 01:07:25,029
I'm sorry about the other day
at the lawyer's office.
1248
01:07:25,107 --> 01:07:27,541
I feel horrible about that.
1249
01:07:29,245 --> 01:07:31,475
Me, too.
1250
01:07:34,417 --> 01:07:36,715
I miss you, Greta.
1251
01:07:38,220 --> 01:07:41,053
I miss you, Dave.
1252
01:07:42,558 --> 01:07:46,654
You are the most important
thing in my life...
1253
01:07:46,729 --> 01:07:49,027
and I love you.
1254
01:07:50,766 --> 01:07:52,597
I'm sorry.
1255
01:07:54,937 --> 01:07:58,338
Oh, no, shh.
It's OK.
1256
01:07:58,407 --> 01:07:59,499
I'm sorry, Dave.
1257
01:07:59,575 --> 01:08:01,236
It's OK.
1258
01:08:48,491 --> 01:08:49,958
Wow.
1259
01:08:54,330 --> 01:08:55,922
Holy shit.
1260
01:09:00,002 --> 01:09:02,027
I mean, Jesus, Greta.
1261
01:09:03,839 --> 01:09:05,397
Where the hell did you...
1262
01:09:07,343 --> 01:09:08,867
I mean, Jesus.
1263
01:09:10,913 --> 01:09:13,438
I can't remember the last time
it was this great.
1264
01:09:15,151 --> 01:09:16,311
Can you?
1265
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:19,621
Oh, my God.
1266
01:09:19,688 --> 01:09:22,623
And it wasn't just me, right?
1267
01:09:22,691 --> 01:09:23,851
This was great.
1268
01:09:27,863 --> 01:09:30,832
Oh, wow. Unreal.
1269
01:09:38,707 --> 01:09:40,231
Yeah, sweetie?
1270
01:09:44,513 --> 01:09:45,537
I'm a lesbian.
1271
01:09:46,549 --> 01:09:48,141
What?
1272
01:09:48,217 --> 01:09:51,311
I'm a lesbian.
1273
01:09:51,387 --> 01:09:53,321
I'm a lesbian!
1274
01:09:53,389 --> 01:09:54,788
Stop saying that.
1275
01:09:54,857 --> 01:09:56,688
I finally figured out
that this is who I am...
1276
01:09:56,759 --> 01:09:58,624
and, Dave, I can't change that.
1277
01:09:58,694 --> 01:09:59,820
Oh, my God!
1278
01:10:01,397 --> 01:10:02,921
I never meant to hurt you.
1279
01:10:02,998 --> 01:10:05,125
You know, what do you think
you're going to do, Greta...
1280
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:06,293
go back to Lily?
1281
01:10:06,368 --> 01:10:07,335
Because she doesn't want you.
1282
01:10:07,403 --> 01:10:08,836
This has nothing
to do with Lily, Dave.
1283
01:10:08,904 --> 01:10:11,270
This has to do with me.
I'm a lesbian!
1284
01:10:11,340 --> 01:10:12,568
I heard you!
1285
01:10:12,641 --> 01:10:14,609
And stop saying that!
You're a lesbian!
1286
01:10:14,677 --> 01:10:15,803
Can't you be happy for me?
1287
01:10:15,878 --> 01:10:18,176
No, I can't be happy for you.
1288
01:10:18,247 --> 01:10:22,081
I mean, you get to have this
life-affirming revelation...
1289
01:10:22,151 --> 01:10:24,551
after taking me on
this fucking roller coaster!
1290
01:10:24,620 --> 01:10:26,679
And just when I think it's over,
the bottom drops out!
1291
01:10:26,755 --> 01:10:29,019
No, I can't be happy for you!
1292
01:10:29,959 --> 01:10:31,426
My life's a fucking mess!
1293
01:10:31,493 --> 01:10:32,482
Dave, I'm sorry.
1294
01:10:32,561 --> 01:10:34,358
You know what?
Sorry's not good enough.
1295
01:10:34,430 --> 01:10:36,694
You thought
the other day was bad?
1296
01:10:36,765 --> 01:10:38,323
Yeah. Well, this...
1297
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:39,560
this is going to get ugly.
1298
01:10:40,402 --> 01:10:41,869
Are you all right?
1299
01:10:42,805 --> 01:10:43,863
No, I'm not all right.
1300
01:10:43,939 --> 01:10:46,203
I give my love
and devotion to a woman...
1301
01:10:46,275 --> 01:10:49,335
who turns out to be
an emotional "La Femme Nikita."
1302
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:53,646
And I think
I just tore my A.C.L.!
1303
01:11:02,291 --> 01:11:03,849
Oh, my God.
1304
01:11:30,152 --> 01:11:31,847
Fuck you!
1305
01:11:38,794 --> 01:11:41,763
People talk about a relationship
enduring the test of time.
1306
01:11:42,831 --> 01:11:44,992
I'm sure everyone wants it...
1307
01:11:45,067 --> 01:11:47,729
but the key is,
how do you get it?
1308
01:11:49,505 --> 01:11:51,370
The Egyptians.
1309
01:11:52,808 --> 01:11:54,207
The Egyptians knew.
1310
01:11:55,244 --> 01:11:56,438
They started the pyramids.
1311
01:11:56,512 --> 01:11:57,843
See, they knew
they were building...
1312
01:11:57,913 --> 01:12:00,848
something that had to
last and last and last.
1313
01:12:02,351 --> 01:12:04,410
Sure, they started
with a strong foundation...
1314
01:12:06,822 --> 01:12:09,120
but the secret is...
1315
01:12:09,191 --> 01:12:13,184
the placement
of that very first stone.
1316
01:12:19,001 --> 01:12:20,298
The pyramids?
1317
01:12:21,637 --> 01:12:24,868
Now, I know we just met,
but this feels like...
1318
01:12:26,375 --> 01:12:29,139
that was what we have
working here, you know?
1319
01:12:31,714 --> 01:12:33,409
First stone...
1320
01:12:37,853 --> 01:12:38,979
I'm Cal Scoppa.
1321
01:12:41,023 --> 01:12:44,652
Cal Scoppa... photographer?
1322
01:12:46,795 --> 01:12:48,990
You're familiar with my work?
1323
01:12:52,901 --> 01:12:57,201
I've heard your name
in certain circles.
1324
01:13:00,409 --> 01:13:01,535
And your name is?
1325
01:13:08,817 --> 01:13:10,751
Wouldn't it make
where we're headed...
1326
01:13:10,819 --> 01:13:12,878
a lot more fun if we
just kept it anonymous?
1327
01:13:15,023 --> 01:13:16,388
No offense...
1328
01:13:16,458 --> 01:13:19,359
but I'm not really into
building anything long-term.
1329
01:13:19,428 --> 01:13:22,261
I would be up
for a good time, though...
1330
01:13:22,331 --> 01:13:25,129
if that was OK with you.
1331
01:13:28,570 --> 01:13:30,003
Fuck the Egyptians.
1332
01:13:32,941 --> 01:13:34,033
Great.
1333
01:13:34,109 --> 01:13:37,977
So, what other kind of
photography do you do?
1334
01:13:43,619 --> 01:13:45,382
Oh, don't stop!
Don't stop!
1335
01:13:45,454 --> 01:13:46,546
OK, stop.
1336
01:14:23,325 --> 01:14:24,986
What the hell do you want?
1337
01:14:25,060 --> 01:14:27,085
Can I come in?
1338
01:14:30,165 --> 01:14:31,598
Please.
1339
01:14:39,942 --> 01:14:42,103
Quit smoking,
what, two years ago?
1340
01:14:42,177 --> 01:14:44,737
Yeah. I quit with you.
1341
01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:47,043
Quite a buzz the first one
gives you, I gotta say.
1342
01:14:48,717 --> 01:14:51,083
What brought this on?
1343
01:14:52,521 --> 01:14:54,045
She doesn't love me.
1344
01:14:55,557 --> 01:14:57,047
Emily?
1345
01:14:57,125 --> 01:14:59,218
No, my mom.
1346
01:14:59,294 --> 01:15:00,625
She called to say she never has.
1347
01:15:00,696 --> 01:15:02,789
Seemed real apologetic, though.
1348
01:15:02,865 --> 01:15:04,264
Yeah, Emily.
1349
01:15:04,333 --> 01:15:05,891
Jake, listen...
1350
01:15:05,968 --> 01:15:08,459
I know what you're
going to say, Dave...
1351
01:15:08,537 --> 01:15:10,505
that I'm the boy
who always cried wolf...
1352
01:15:10,572 --> 01:15:12,472
but this time,
it's the real thing...
1353
01:15:12,541 --> 01:15:15,271
and this real thing is going
to marry someone else, so...
1354
01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:16,971
I thought it was worth...
1355
01:15:17,045 --> 01:15:18,979
throwing two years
of clean lungs out the window.
1356
01:15:19,047 --> 01:15:20,674
You OK with that?
1357
01:15:24,119 --> 01:15:25,848
As long as I can get one.
1358
01:15:28,524 --> 01:15:29,616
Do you mind?
1359
01:15:29,691 --> 01:15:30,783
Not at all.
1360
01:16:29,618 --> 01:16:31,142
You OK?
1361
01:16:31,219 --> 01:16:32,413
It's good.
It's time to grow up.
1362
01:16:32,487 --> 01:16:33,784
I'm doing the right thing here.
1363
01:16:37,292 --> 01:16:38,350
The thought of her
and Jake together...
1364
01:16:38,427 --> 01:16:40,088
just makes my stomach...
1365
01:16:42,097 --> 01:16:44,031
What is that,
that noise you make?
1366
01:16:44,099 --> 01:16:45,225
What?
1367
01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:46,733
"Mmm." You always go "mmm."
1368
01:16:46,802 --> 01:16:48,394
If you don't agree with
someone, you go "mmm."
1369
01:16:48,470 --> 01:16:50,131
It's very passive-aggressive.
1370
01:16:52,007 --> 01:16:53,235
That.
1371
01:16:55,811 --> 01:16:57,073
Dave, right?
1372
01:16:57,145 --> 01:16:59,739
There's someone out front to
see you.
1373
01:16:59,815 --> 01:17:01,009
Who?
1374
01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:02,573
She wouldn't say.
1375
01:17:02,651 --> 01:17:04,084
She?
1376
01:17:04,152 --> 01:17:06,245
Go get it, dog.
1377
01:17:10,492 --> 01:17:11,754
Where?
1378
01:17:11,827 --> 01:17:13,294
There.
1379
01:17:15,664 --> 01:17:17,291
Thank you.
1380
01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:28,606
What are you doing here?
1381
01:17:28,677 --> 01:17:29,905
Are you kidding?
1382
01:17:29,978 --> 01:17:31,240
I wouldn't miss this
for the world.
1383
01:17:31,313 --> 01:17:32,439
Why?
1384
01:17:36,018 --> 01:17:37,952
What is this?
1385
01:17:38,020 --> 01:17:39,214
Have a look.
1386
01:17:46,428 --> 01:17:48,487
This is you and Cal?
1387
01:17:51,700 --> 01:17:53,497
Nice butt, huh?
1388
01:17:57,172 --> 01:17:58,298
Why are you giving this to me?
1389
01:17:58,373 --> 01:18:00,466
What am I supposed
to do with this?
1390
01:18:00,542 --> 01:18:03,204
That, my dear, is
entirely up to you.
1391
01:18:24,399 --> 01:18:25,559
We're ready.
1392
01:18:33,542 --> 01:18:36,010
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today...
1393
01:18:36,078 --> 01:18:41,516
to celebrate the love
of two people, Calvin and Emily.
1394
01:18:41,583 --> 01:18:45,349
Marriage is
a sacred institution...
1395
01:18:45,420 --> 01:18:48,150
and one which should not
be entered into lightly...
1396
01:18:48,223 --> 01:18:53,525
but rather consciously,
thoughtfully, and soberly.
1397
01:18:55,230 --> 01:18:57,357
If anyone has reason
why these two...
1398
01:18:57,432 --> 01:19:00,333
should not be joined together
in Holy matrimony...
1399
01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:03,860
speak now
or forever hold your peace.
1400
01:19:08,410 --> 01:19:11,208
Calvin Scoppa,
do you take Emily Davis...
1401
01:19:11,279 --> 01:19:14,180
to be your lawfully
wedded wife...
1402
01:19:14,249 --> 01:19:16,547
to have and to hold...
1403
01:19:16,618 --> 01:19:19,746
for richer, for poorer...
1404
01:19:19,821 --> 01:19:22,517
so long as you both
shall live?
1405
01:19:24,693 --> 01:19:26,183
Hold on.
1406
01:19:27,362 --> 01:19:28,852
Oh, thank God.
1407
01:19:28,930 --> 01:19:30,693
- I have to say this.
- Say what?
1408
01:19:34,636 --> 01:19:37,571
You both are
really, really great...
1409
01:19:37,639 --> 01:19:40,972
and I love you,
but you can't do this.
1410
01:19:44,312 --> 01:19:45,438
You're getting married
because you think...
1411
01:19:45,514 --> 01:19:47,072
you're supposed to,
not because you want to.
1412
01:19:47,149 --> 01:19:49,413
And believe me,
I know what I'm talking about...
1413
01:19:49,484 --> 01:19:50,917
because I've
been playing fiddle...
1414
01:19:50,986 --> 01:19:51,975
while the "Titanic"
is sinking...
1415
01:19:52,053 --> 01:19:54,146
and I've made a lot of mistakes.
1416
01:19:56,124 --> 01:19:57,421
I haven't been
honest with myself...
1417
01:19:57,492 --> 01:20:01,451
or any of you
for a long, long time.
1418
01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:07,565
I knew our marriage was a mess,
but you admitted it first...
1419
01:20:07,636 --> 01:20:10,605
and made me so upset,
I acted like a jerk...
1420
01:20:10,672 --> 01:20:12,299
and I'm sorry for that.
1421
01:20:15,110 --> 01:20:17,135
I can't stand here
and let you two...
1422
01:20:17,212 --> 01:20:19,680
make the same kind
of mistake we did.
1423
01:20:19,748 --> 01:20:24,344
Cal, this is the hardest
thing I've ever had to do...
1424
01:20:24,419 --> 01:20:26,284
and I'm pretty sure... no.
1425
01:20:26,354 --> 01:20:27,753
What's he doing?
1426
01:20:27,823 --> 01:20:32,385
I'm positive... that it's
the right thing to do.
1427
01:20:34,162 --> 01:20:35,595
Don't get married.
1428
01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:40,131
At least...
1429
01:20:40,202 --> 01:20:41,931
not to each other.
1430
01:20:45,874 --> 01:20:47,307
That's it.
1431
01:20:50,512 --> 01:20:52,446
You're completely out
of your mind, man.
1432
01:20:53,215 --> 01:20:55,877
Because I've changed.
I love this woman.
1433
01:20:57,819 --> 01:20:59,116
I love this woman!
1434
01:20:59,187 --> 01:21:00,415
And I'm going to
marry her today.
1435
01:21:00,488 --> 01:21:01,477
Tell them, Emily.
1436
01:21:01,556 --> 01:21:02,580
Wait.
1437
01:21:04,125 --> 01:21:05,888
You're buying into this crap?
1438
01:21:05,961 --> 01:21:07,952
Cal, Dave's right.
1439
01:21:08,029 --> 01:21:10,259
You're going to take
marital advice...
1440
01:21:10,332 --> 01:21:12,300
from a guy who
married a lesbian?
1441
01:21:12,367 --> 01:21:15,393
That wasn't entirely his fault.
It wasn't.
1442
01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:19,503
It wasn't his fault.
1443
01:21:23,979 --> 01:21:25,310
I'm sorry.
1444
01:21:30,852 --> 01:21:32,786
Honey.
1445
01:21:36,057 --> 01:21:38,719
I'm sorry, Cal.
1446
01:21:40,595 --> 01:21:43,257
You son of a bitch.
1447
01:21:48,236 --> 01:21:49,863
How could you do this to me?
1448
01:21:51,439 --> 01:21:54,931
You no-good piece of shit!
1449
01:21:56,177 --> 01:21:57,701
Let go of me!
1450
01:21:58,780 --> 01:21:59,838
I have to get married today!
1451
01:21:59,915 --> 01:22:01,815
I'm getting married today!
1452
01:22:01,883 --> 01:22:03,544
I have to get
married today!
1453
01:22:08,223 --> 01:22:09,349
Are you OK?
1454
01:22:09,424 --> 01:22:10,516
I was hoping
he'd take that...
1455
01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:11,786
a little bit better
than he did.
1456
01:22:14,095 --> 01:22:16,757
Natives are getting
restless, kids.
1457
01:22:25,540 --> 01:22:28,407
Ladies and gentlemen...
1458
01:22:28,476 --> 01:22:30,967
it seems as though there's been
a slight change of plans.
1459
01:22:32,480 --> 01:22:36,348
On behalf of Cal and Emily, we'd
like to thank you for coming...
1460
01:22:36,418 --> 01:22:39,410
and we'll keep you posted.
1461
01:22:40,522 --> 01:22:44,014
Feel free to sign the guest book
on your way out.
1462
01:22:55,403 --> 01:22:57,871
So, this guy's name was Job?
1463
01:22:57,939 --> 01:23:01,067
Yes... my son.
1464
01:23:03,044 --> 01:23:04,602
Poor bastard.
1465
01:23:14,189 --> 01:23:15,622
Padre...
1466
01:23:15,690 --> 01:23:17,988
leave us a minute.
1467
01:23:46,054 --> 01:23:47,351
Why'd you do it?
1468
01:23:57,065 --> 01:23:59,329
Where'd you get these?
1469
01:23:59,401 --> 01:24:00,993
Lily.
1470
01:24:01,069 --> 01:24:03,037
Her name is Lil...
1471
01:24:04,739 --> 01:24:06,707
This is your Lily?
1472
01:24:10,045 --> 01:24:11,706
You put her up to this?
1473
01:24:14,716 --> 01:24:17,048
She did it all on her own.
1474
01:24:18,753 --> 01:24:19,845
Why?
1475
01:24:19,921 --> 01:24:21,582
Because she's
a sick, twisted woman.
1476
01:24:23,058 --> 01:24:24,889
You can say that again.
1477
01:24:31,099 --> 01:24:33,363
Cal, I'm sorry.
1478
01:24:33,435 --> 01:24:35,369
I couldn't let you...
1479
01:24:35,437 --> 01:24:37,530
make the biggest
mistake of your life.
1480
01:24:40,408 --> 01:24:42,399
You were right, Dave.
1481
01:24:44,946 --> 01:24:46,709
I was?
1482
01:24:46,781 --> 01:24:48,544
I'm not ready for this.
1483
01:24:50,485 --> 01:24:52,680
I couldn't give Emily
what she needs.
1484
01:24:54,155 --> 01:24:56,715
She deserves a good guy...
1485
01:24:56,791 --> 01:24:58,691
like that prick Jake.
1486
01:25:07,068 --> 01:25:09,298
What's going on?
What happened?
1487
01:25:10,572 --> 01:25:12,233
I didn't get married.
1488
01:25:12,307 --> 01:25:14,707
Yeah, I can see that.
1489
01:25:14,776 --> 01:25:17,939
No... I�m not
getting married.
1490
01:25:23,985 --> 01:25:26,715
Do you want to go
grab a fudgsicle?
1491
01:25:26,788 --> 01:25:28,722
I do.
1492
01:25:36,798 --> 01:25:39,562
Emily, sweetheart,
what the hell is going on?
1493
01:25:39,634 --> 01:25:41,261
It's OK. I'm fine.
1494
01:25:41,336 --> 01:25:43,566
This is my friend
Jake Elowitch.
1495
01:25:43,638 --> 01:25:45,105
That's my mom and my dad.
1496
01:25:45,173 --> 01:25:47,232
Nice to meet you,
Mr. And Mrs. Davis.
1497
01:25:47,308 --> 01:25:48,570
You raised a lovely daughter.
1498
01:25:50,011 --> 01:25:51,103
Thank you.
1499
01:25:52,313 --> 01:25:53,439
Where are you going?
1500
01:25:54,649 --> 01:25:56,276
We're going to
go get a fudgsicle.
1501
01:25:56,351 --> 01:25:58,319
A fudgsicle?
1502
01:26:08,696 --> 01:26:10,095
How did it go?
1503
01:26:11,699 --> 01:26:13,291
All right, I guess.
1504
01:26:13,368 --> 01:26:15,063
How's Emily?
1505
01:26:15,136 --> 01:26:17,331
She seemed fine when she
walked out with Jake.
1506
01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:22,139
Where did he come from?
1507
01:26:22,210 --> 01:26:24,303
I called him.
1508
01:26:27,182 --> 01:26:30,481
You called him?
1509
01:26:30,552 --> 01:26:33,350
Emily and Jake
are nice people...
1510
01:26:34,789 --> 01:26:37,917
and they deserve exactly
what's coming to them.
1511
01:27:31,346 --> 01:27:32,370
Where's she going?
1512
01:27:33,548 --> 01:27:37,678
I think she's about to have sex
with Cal in the rectory.
1513
01:27:37,752 --> 01:27:39,652
How did we not
see that coming?
1514
01:27:41,422 --> 01:27:44,880
Thank you for what
you said about us.
1515
01:27:44,959 --> 01:27:47,257
I could have picked
a better forum.
1516
01:27:48,796 --> 01:27:50,559
What you did took
a lot of courage.
1517
01:27:50,632 --> 01:27:52,600
I'm really proud of you.
1518
01:28:01,309 --> 01:28:03,243
I brought you something.
1519
01:28:06,314 --> 01:28:08,748
The divorce papers.
1520
01:28:08,816 --> 01:28:12,252
All signed and ready
for your approval.
1521
01:28:12,320 --> 01:28:14,083
Thank you.
1522
01:28:14,155 --> 01:28:15,782
You're welcome.
1523
01:28:17,191 --> 01:28:20,319
How are you, Dave?
1524
01:28:21,996 --> 01:28:24,396
How am I?
1525
01:28:27,502 --> 01:28:31,768
Aside from my jaw...
1526
01:28:31,839 --> 01:28:34,273
I'm pretty good...
1527
01:28:34,342 --> 01:28:38,278
for the first time
in a long time.
1528
01:28:38,346 --> 01:28:40,439
Pretty good.
1529
01:28:42,183 --> 01:28:44,048
I'm so glad.
1530
01:28:44,118 --> 01:28:45,745
Honestly, Dave, I'm glad.
1531
01:28:45,820 --> 01:28:47,481
Thanks.
1532
01:28:56,698 --> 01:28:57,790
Friends?
1533
01:28:58,866 --> 01:29:00,060
Friends.
1534
01:29:02,403 --> 01:29:04,633
I'm really glad
to hear you say that.
1535
01:29:04,706 --> 01:29:06,333
Why?
1536
01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:10,309
Because it makes what
I'm about to tell you...
1537
01:29:10,378 --> 01:29:12,312
a lot easier to say.
1538
01:29:12,380 --> 01:29:14,348
What's that?
1539
01:29:16,384 --> 01:29:18,875
I'm pregnant.
1540
01:32:13,384 --> 01:32:14,875
5@y3
106405
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