Original subtitles

- _ - Here. Let-let me do that for you.

No, no, it's good to keep busy.

Stops me from thinking about what I did last night.

- Nothing like my heyday. - Yeah.

Didn't even break a window.

Remember when you tried to set up that train set for Dan?

Seven hours and a bottle of whiskey later,

Santa was giving out cash and taking a nap under the tree.

Yeah. Oh.

Those were the days. Hey.

- Morning. - Mom,

are you still packing, or are we cool?

Keep 'em coming. Only gift I can give you.

Listen, we're all together. That's what's important, right?

- Mm. - And it is a white Christmas.

I'll go heat up the orange rolls.

They took the orange rolls.

They're monsters.

Happy birthday, Jesus.

Hey, everybody, get in here.

There's something's wrong with Leon.

He doesn't look good.

What's going on?

- Are you okay, buddy? - Why is he panting so much?

- He ate Big Stan's pie. - What?

- Oh, my God. The pecan? - How did he get it?

- It was on the counter. - Why was it on the counter?

Because I thought somebody might want a snack.

Nobody wanted it, Dad.

It's not about the pie right now. It's about the dog.

Yeah... he really wasn't

feeling like himself la-last couple months, you know?

Well, if it's his time,

at least he went doing what he loved best...

Eating crap he shouldn't.

- Hall of fame dog. - The best.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Ah.

There's his bed.

I guess I better go dispose of the murder weapon.

Yeah.

Hey, nobody say anything to Stan about this,

'cause it'd crush him, okay?

Guess I'll go upstairs and send out some e-mails,

telling everybody we're canceling the open house.

Oh, honey, maybe that's not what we should do.

I think Leon would want us to have a party.

I don't think I'm up for it, hon.

Well, it might be good for all of us.

Yeah, he did always love an open house.

He'd park under Uncle Roger

and just let it rain cheese and crackers.

You know what, guys?

I think you're right.

We got Leon on Christmas.

Let's celebrate him on Christmas, right?

- That's right. - So you guys... You...

start chopping, and...

- I'm gonna e-mail. - Oh, no.

No. He gets... he gets going, I can't... I can't take it.

I can't take it when he gets emotional.

Come on here.

- What is that? - Jicama.

Why?

I got it at a farmer's market.

I thought it'd be nice.

- What... Why? - You know what?

Forget it. Put out pretzels and cheese puffs. I don't care.

Why-why is it all just white?

Hey.

Hi.

I'm glad you called.

We're having an open house all afternoon.

You should stop by.

Um, can we talk about last night?

Yeah.

Sorry. I kind of attacked you.

I had a pot brownie, and I didn't want to tell you

'cause I thought it would bum you out.

I'm actually better with the marijuana

than I am the chocolate,

especially that close to bedtime.

Listen, uh, I just went

for a run, kind of worked some things out in my head.

You probably don't know,

but I've been into you since, like, seventh grade.

Sister Helen's Religion and Ethics class.

I-I knew, Monty.

Sister Helen told me.

I went to her in confidence.

Um, but listen, right now,

you're going through so much.

It's been a crazy week.

So I think maybe we should

just kind of put the brakes on.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're probably right.

But come over anyway.

I mean, we can have some food.

Everyone would love to see you.

How about I give you a call after all the holiday madness,

and we can have lunch?

Y... I'd like that.

Okay. Good.

Um...

Merry Christmas, Bridget.

Merry Christmas, Monty.

- Son? - Yeah.

One present I didn't, uh, put under the tree.

- The hell? - Yup.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Doesn't feel like headphones, but I'm keeping an open mind.

- Hey! - Huh?

- Look at this. - Yeah.

- Thank you. I... - Right?

I like it.

Yeah, we had some laughs the other day, right?

You know what?

Let's make it official.

Open the card.

- Yeah. - That's a lot of money.

It's a signing bonus, and now you can pay that patent lawyer.

- Uh, thank you, Dad. - Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas. - Okay.

- So, it's a signing bonus? - Yeah.

So, technically I...

Uh, uh, uh, uh. No, no.

All right, give me it. You're not gonna pay the lawyer.

- Give me it. Give me it. - Okay.

I'll pay the lawyer.

Ann?

Uh, no. I think I'm done until New Year's.

I heard about the shootout at the Christmas tree corral.

You know what's good for that stress? Yoga.

Oh, honey.

There you go, buddy.

How are you holding up?

Good.

Good. I'm just, uh...

gonna get some air.

Well, my cousin has a time-share.

So I'm thinking of heading down to Florida tomorrow.

Don't you have a leaky tub to fix? Does Ann know?

Not yet.

Bonne chance, my friend.

_

_

As predicted, no one has touched

- _ - the all-white jicama.

_

_

- So-so you're not pissed? - Of course I'm pissed.

- It was beyond uncool, bro. - I know. I know.

I'm just saying that I see the bigger picture now.

You clarified things. Big epiphany.

Thought of losing Cora terrified me, man,

to my marrow.

That's deep.

That's, uh, as deep as it goes. Yep.

So I got my abuelita's ring.

- Oh, wow. - Yeah, it's legit.

It's, like, two and a half carats.

I may rim it up with some pave ice,

bring the whole thing up to, like, 25K.

- When are you proposing? - At dinner.

When my parents get here. I got to do it tonight.

Ring's burning a hole in my pocket.

Hope that's not weird for you.

No. No, no. I'm-I'm happy for you, man.

Thanks, bro.

I want you to be my best man.

Yeah. Of course.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Let's keep it on the down-low around Sean for a while.

Yeah. Maybe not tell him at all.

Yeah, he can be a prickly pear sometimes.

- When's Cora coming? - Later.

Yeah, she's opening presents

with some of her artsy ex-pat friends.

They love me now.

I'm sure they do.

Come on, bro, let's get some nog.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think this is the house.

So when you're picking a single malt Scotch...

Not that you asked...

You're gonna want to stay away from the Highlands.

Uh, do not hold that thought.

- To be continued. - Ah.

- Hi, Elena. - I just wanted

to thank you for the BB gun.

I'm assuming that was you that left it on my doorstep.

Uh, that gesture was anonymous.

- We can't keep it. - Why not?

I'm barely in control as it is.

I can't have them better armed than me.

Okay, I'm not a parent,

but that seems kind of shortsighted.

Look, it's very sweet,

but we're gonna drop it off in the next few days.

Uh, okay. Well, why don't you just come by now?

We're having kind of an open house thing.

Um, no. No, I don't want to impose.

No, not at all.

Bring-Bring the little monsters.

Is that Elena? Is there a problem with the unit?

No, there's no problem with the unit.

- Oh. - Y...

Oh, okay. Great.

- No-no... no imposition at all. - Really?

Yeah, seriously, just come.

Uh, it's just a bunch of randos, anyway.

Okay.

Liked this so much better when it was just family.

No, no, never trust an app.

They'll have you turning left on Division without a light.

Yeah, your directions to the Bulls game were on point.

Yeah, my friend said it's the best snow in years.

So I moved my ticket up. Gonna fly out tonight.

I haven't skied all season.

Marco showed me the ring.

Yep. Can't be here for that.

I get it.

I'm sorry.

Not a great Christmas.

Mom thinks she has you for three more days?

- That's why I haven't told her yet. - She's gonna lose her mind.

I have some tough news for her as well.

We should coordinate.

Bridge.

What?

Doug's here.

Hey.

Yeah, it was the first Christmas morning

I woke up without you in five years.

- I hated it. - Me too.

I missed you.

Look, um...

it takes two people to mess up a marriage,

and I'm ready to look at my part.

Do you want to try some counseling?

I do.

So will you move back home?

And leave all this?

Yes.

All right, here we go, boys.

Lesson number one.

In the ancient art of shuriken throwing.

All right, Cody, star.

Thank you very mu... Oh, wait. Uh, uh...

Quick safety meeting. Is there anyone in front of me?

- No, you're good. - Okay, cool.

Stand easy.

All right, here we go.

What?!

Uh, thumbs down on that?

They're gaijins, they don't understand.

Let's just pretend, like, we feel bad and...

Sorry.

Shake your head and...

Ugh, yeah, just wait for them to leave.

We won't do it again.

Boys. Right?

- How old are yours? - Eight and six.

They're either fighting or eating.

Half the time I hate them.

Yeah, and it goes by so fast.

You know, I'm-I'm not saying the pie's dry...

Hey, Ton.

What's this I hear about you going to Florida?

Oh, oh, yeah. I was gonna run that by you, spons.

Um, my brother-in-law has a time-share down there,

- and, um, I was just thinking - Oh.

a change of scenery might be kind of what I need right now.

- Sounds so nice. - Yeah, like, the beach and the sun.

- Yeah, the beach and the sun, - Might be really nice.

But you're not going.

- I just... - Ah, ah, ah...

You are gonna finish the bathroom

like you promised.

- Okay. - When you don't keep your promises,

you don't keep your promises.

Okay.

Still love you, buddy. Go get some ham.

Sean. The doorbell.

You're closer!

♪ But the bad times... ♪

Oh, boy.

Guys, it's Christmas.

There are children here.

Whatever beef you have with me, okay, now is not the time.

- We come in the spirit of the holiday. - Uh-huh.

We realize we may have broken some unwritten rules

of the HVAC business,

- May have? - Sean,

my wife made you a vasilopita.

It's like a Greek coffee cake.

Wow, what is that, almonds?

It's absolutely addictive.

Huh, big boy?

Light as a feather.

All right. Come on in.

- Come on in. - Thank you.

- Lovely home. - Thank you.

- Hey. - Hey.

Um, h-how were your friends?

Fun.

Too many Argentinians, but fun.

Well, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you.

Listen, I'm flying out tonight.

Oh, I thought...

Okay, yeah.

So I guess I'll see you at Uncle Roger's wedding.

Yeah. That's in June, right? Cancún?

Yep, it's hurricane season, but he couldn't pass up the deal.

You were right, by the way.

I... I am a disaster.

No, that-that was harsh, and I didn't really mean it.

No, no, no, I...

I acted like an idiot.

I just kind of ruined everyone's Christmas.

But take it as a compliment.

Timing, huh?

Yep.

I was actually single last Christmas.

- But then you wouldn't have met Marco, - Yeah.

Who's pretty much the best guy I know.

Hey, uh, I, uh, have something for you.

The photos I took of your jewelry for your website.

Hope it helps.

You're really talented.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Dan.

Goodbye, Cora.

Ah.

I was rooting for you, buddy.

But I'm a Sox fan, so I like an underdog.

Bridget says you're bailing.

You Christmas coward.

Yeah. I should go pack.

Need a lift to the airport?

No, I'll take an Uber.

All right, good. It was a hollow offer.

- I know. - Cool. Yeah.

I hear you're leaving us.

Yeah. Um,

I-I was just about to come down and find you.

Hope you're not mad.

- No. Cora. I get it. - Yeah.

I haven't been my best this week.

Leon.

The holidays. It's been stressful.

Dad has cancer.

Yeah.

- That can't be easy on you. - No.

- But he's gonna be okay. - Yeah.

- I know that. Most of the time. - Yeah.

And I lashed out at you

when I found out about Ali.

- I'm not really sure what I said. - Uh, you said

there must be a reason they're fleeing in droves.

- Yeah. That sounds like me. - Yeah.

- I'm sorry. - It's okay.

Probably not wrong.

You know, before I met your father,

I was dating this med student.

He was totally self-involved,

but, wow, were we sexually compatible.

- Mom, wh-where's this going? - Well,

he got a residency in St. Louis, and I was devastated.

- Yeah. - But then I met your father.

And we're extremely sexually compatible.

I mean, I'm sure you've heard us.

- I can't unhear it, Mom. - Sex is great.

- Sex is still great. - Cool. Thank you.

- Thank you. Got it. - You know? But your dad,

above all else,

is my best friend.

And you're gonna find your best friend,

and when you do, you marry her.

Yeah.

Or him.

Them? They.

Mom...

Aw.

You're gonna be okay.

You are.

Thanks, Mom.

Okay. Come on.

Call me when you land.

I'll text you.

Call me.

There you are.

Hey.

- What's going on? - I'm just gonna slip out.

I don't want to make a big scene. Okay?

An Irish exit on Christmas.

I'll see you in a few months.

I'm gonna be a handsome bald man.

I love you, Dad.

Love you, too, son.

- All right? - Yeah.

See you.

- Merry Christmas, boys. - Thanks, buddy.

Uh, if you guys could just gather around for a moment.

Um, Dad. Mom.

Moodys.

Woman with the two children

I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet.

Uh... Cora.

Flight 247 to Denver

is now boarding at gate C17.

All passengers please board at gate C17

for an on-time departure to Denver.

Dan!

Cora?

Wh-What's going on?

I said no.

What?

To Marco. He proposed.

Can you stay a few more days?

Yeah.

- Yes? - Yes.

- Yes. Yes. Yes. - Yeah, o-okay.

Yes.

We made it! Ha!

Took Oak Lawn to the 90, then slipped through Departures.

17 minutes.

That's a record.

Because of me. That's 'cause of me right there.

You're welcome!

_

Leon Redbone Moody,

we thank you for...

126 dog years of...

companionship,

love and...

some of the most...

epic farts we've ever smelt.

We will think of you every time we walk into this house.

Yep.

You will be missed.

- We love you, Leon. - We love you, Leon.

- Love you, Leon. - Love you.

Miss you, Leon.

And now I'd like to ask you all

to take one big step back.

- Okay. - Okay.

Wow.

So long.

- Farewell, Leon. - Bye, Leon, we love you.

Oh, my God, son. It's... it's stunning.

Thanks, Dad.

It's validation, really.

I'm sorry, I just don't think

I'm a heating and AC guy.

Wow.

Hey, Mom, it's snowing again.

Yeah, it is. Oh...

- Uh... uh... - Um, guys?

I'm pretty sure these are...

Leon's ashes.

- Oh. - They are.

- Yeah. Boy. - Yeah, they are.

- Ooh. - Oh...

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