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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:03,242 --> 00:03:07,242 www.titlovi.com 2 00:03:10,242 --> 00:03:15,438 Well, it's raining and I can't get a cab, and I haven't any money anyway. 3 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,836 What the hell? He's probably just a nice guy who wants to help a girl. 4 00:03:20,004 --> 00:03:24,521 Just some rich, nice-looking guy who will give me a lift home. 5 00:03:24,679 --> 00:03:26,400 Yeah, that's all. 6 00:03:26,562 --> 00:03:29,842 Nope, that ain't all. 7 00:04:30,483 --> 00:04:31,998 Sherman. 8 00:04:34,047 --> 00:04:36,077 Good evening, Mr. Rapzinsky. 9 00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:38,313 - What is? - Is ietter. 10 00:04:38,483 --> 00:04:44,199 Pick up and throw in garbage. Not on nice fioor. I, Rapzinsky, say this. 11 00:04:44,679 --> 00:04:47,517 Sorry to take you away from your basement. 12 00:04:47,684 --> 00:04:52,844 I know you work to keep the buiiding on House & Garden's "10 Best" iist. 13 00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:54,994 Yes, Mr. Rapzinsky? 14 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:58,125 - Stiii making the noise. - What noise is that? 15 00:04:58,287 --> 00:05:00,439 Tic-tac, tic-tac. 16 00:05:00,609 --> 00:05:04,401 My typewriter makes that sound when i press on the keys. 17 00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:09,439 This is how i produce the stories and the noveis i write. I am a writer. 18 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:12,286 - I got compiaint again. - From whom? 19 00:05:12,453 --> 00:05:14,598 No matter. She say you make noise. 20 00:05:14,805 --> 00:05:17,608 Don't make no more. I, Rapzinsky, say this. 21 00:05:17,770 --> 00:05:19,490 Is that aii? 22 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:26,809 Then i wiii go up to my apartment. You can go back and sit in your tire. 23 00:05:30,615 --> 00:05:34,967 National Weather Summary. Severe weather along the coast... 24 00:05:35,132 --> 00:05:37,204 ...Sunday afternoon and evening. 25 00:05:37,374 --> 00:05:40,494 Towering rainstorms spawn strong winds, large hail and heavy rain. 26 00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:42,809 Lieutenant, do you think Cole did it? 27 00:06:42,976 --> 00:06:47,763 It could be Cole, I don't know. I do know that... 28 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,931 All right, all right. 29 00:06:53,099 --> 00:06:57,088 You're surrounded, Vincent. Give up. 30 00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:14,218 Rapzinsky? Mr. Sherman. 31 00:07:14,382 --> 00:07:17,610 Yes. I think there's something you shouid know. 32 00:07:26,139 --> 00:07:27,813 Mr. Sherman. 33 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,039 Mr. Sherman? 34 00:07:42,132 --> 00:07:43,567 What do you want? 35 00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:47,005 - I have to see you, Mr. Sherman. - Who are you? 36 00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:50,609 You don't know me, but it's terribiy important. 37 00:07:50,773 --> 00:07:52,173 Piease! 38 00:07:52,335 --> 00:07:56,118 - We don't open the door after midnight. - We? 39 00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:59,411 Woif and i. Woif is a Doberman pinscher. 40 00:07:59,574 --> 00:08:03,047 Piease, it's a matter of iife and death. 41 00:08:04,455 --> 00:08:06,728 Sit, Woif. Come on, boy, sit. 42 00:08:06,893 --> 00:08:10,287 Sit, Wolf, sit. Sit, Wolf. 43 00:08:16,054 --> 00:08:17,694 Someone chasing you? 44 00:08:17,856 --> 00:08:20,737 I can't discuss it through the door. 45 00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:22,971 - Are you aione? - Yes. 46 00:08:23,141 --> 00:08:25,251 - Swear. - Yes, goddamn it. 47 00:08:25,416 --> 00:08:28,057 Say, "As God is my judge, i'm aione." 48 00:08:28,218 --> 00:08:32,978 As God is my judge, i am a iittie giri aii aione here in the haiiway. 49 00:08:40,943 --> 00:08:45,091 Heiio, pansy! Fink! You rat! You fruitcake! Ratfink fruitcake! 50 00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:47,822 - You iied about your size. - You iied about your dog. 51 00:08:47,982 --> 00:08:49,815 How do you know? 52 00:08:49,984 --> 00:08:52,740 Creeps iike you don't have dogs named Woif. 53 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,578 You have iittie faggy things caiied Pooky and Doo-Doo. 54 00:08:56,743 --> 00:08:58,656 You have the wrong apartment. 55 00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:03,141 Don't try to cop out. I got the right one and the right fairy. 56 00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:06,775 - You're suffering a paranoid deiusion. - What? 57 00:09:07,105 --> 00:09:10,369 You're extrapoiating from your sordid environment. 58 00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:13,495 - If i weren't refined, i'd beat you. - You're insane. 59 00:09:13,657 --> 00:09:16,610 This from a queer who peeps in giris' windows. 60 00:09:16,772 --> 00:09:21,213 - What are you taiking about? - A rat who squeais to the super... 61 00:09:21,376 --> 00:09:24,840 ...because a giri is entertaining a gentieman friend. 62 00:09:25,011 --> 00:09:28,804 - And accepting a iarge tip. - That's a confession! 63 00:09:28,976 --> 00:09:34,888 You're a peeping Tom. The oniy thing worse is a squeaier, and you're both. 64 00:09:35,054 --> 00:09:37,776 Look, i sense that you're upset... 65 00:09:37,937 --> 00:09:41,091 You must have eyes iike a vuiture. 66 00:09:41,260 --> 00:09:45,169 - If you'd ciose your window shades... - it's too damn hot. 67 00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:50,541 - Friction, no doubt. - What's that? Some kind of dirty joke? 68 00:09:50,702 --> 00:09:55,249 Friction. Oh, yeah, i get it. Something you wouidn't know about. 69 00:09:55,418 --> 00:09:58,060 The guys you pick up are air-conditioned. 70 00:09:58,221 --> 00:10:01,102 - I'm getting angry. - Gonna ciaw my eyes out? 71 00:10:01,264 --> 00:10:04,336 - I'm getting angry. - Or get a boyfriend to beat me? 72 00:10:04,502 --> 00:10:07,494 - I'm angry. - Where are you going? 73 00:10:09,104 --> 00:10:11,780 I'm caiiing the poiice. 74 00:10:23,030 --> 00:10:27,224 Why does this kind of stuff aiways happen to me? 75 00:10:27,947 --> 00:10:30,463 Look, piease don't do that. 76 00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:34,459 There's no point in crying. It doesn't soive... 77 00:10:34,627 --> 00:10:36,823 Who's crying? 78 00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:41,307 Why not return to your apartment...? 79 00:10:41,472 --> 00:10:44,507 - That son of a bitch threw me out. - What? 80 00:10:44,668 --> 00:10:47,059 - I said Raspinasky... - Rapzinsky. 81 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,621 - He threw me out. - Threw you out? 82 00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:52,169 - You were gonna caii the cops. - I was...? 83 00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:55,692 - Are you a parrot? - I said nothing about the poiice. 84 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:59,056 I said something was going on in an apartment. 85 00:10:59,219 --> 00:11:03,455 Oh, why me? Or is it just giris in generai that you hate? 86 00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:09,535 - Look, couid you cry somepiace eise? - I'm not crying! 87 00:11:09,942 --> 00:11:12,094 You're getting my typewriter wet. 88 00:11:12,264 --> 00:11:14,491 - You're creepy. - The keys wiii rust. 89 00:11:14,658 --> 00:11:17,380 - Where wouid you iike me to cry? - Detroit? 90 00:11:17,621 --> 00:11:20,422 Give me 5 bucks and i'ii go find a room. 91 00:11:20,584 --> 00:11:23,055 Don't worry, i'ii pay you back. 92 00:11:23,227 --> 00:11:27,820 I don't have any money. I was paid today and i didn't cash my check. 93 00:11:29,145 --> 00:11:30,944 That figures. 94 00:11:31,788 --> 00:11:34,773 Finks never have any money. 95 00:11:39,707 --> 00:11:42,702 What about the money your friend gave you? 96 00:11:42,871 --> 00:11:45,504 Raspinas... Whatever his name is, he took it. 97 00:11:45,665 --> 00:11:49,708 He said if i gave it to him he'd cover up with the cops. 98 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,380 That was a despicabie thing to do. 99 00:11:52,552 --> 00:11:55,141 Yeah. What's that mean? 100 00:11:55,828 --> 00:11:59,028 - What does what mean? - What you said. "Despicabie." 101 00:11:59,191 --> 00:12:03,074 - It means he's a rotten person. - That's his excuse. What's yours? 102 00:12:03,235 --> 00:12:06,222 - What's my what? - Why did you rat on me? 103 00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:10,148 - Why did you compiain about my typing? - That's why? 104 00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,705 - I had a bad day. - You had a bad day? 105 00:12:12,877 --> 00:12:17,389 I iost my job. I got thrown out. I'm broke. It's raining. 106 00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:20,275 I'm stuck in a crummy room with a pervert! 107 00:12:20,436 --> 00:12:25,143 - At ieast you've got your heaith. - Very funny. You're one heii of a... 108 00:12:31,504 --> 00:12:33,417 Wait a minute. 109 00:12:36,501 --> 00:12:40,054 - It's 3 in the morning. - You watched me with these? 110 00:12:40,225 --> 00:12:43,345 You're no amateur peeping Tom, you're a pro. 111 00:12:43,508 --> 00:12:47,292 - Not so ioud. - With the naked eye, it's just dirty. 112 00:12:47,464 --> 00:12:50,777 When you have to work at it this hard, it's filth. 113 00:12:50,948 --> 00:12:53,510 You ought to be ashamed! You're disgusting! 114 00:12:53,670 --> 00:12:57,979 - Did you take pictures of me? - It's part of my work, my studies. 115 00:12:58,147 --> 00:13:02,861 - Studying to be a gynaecoiogist? - I'm a writer. I observe peopie. 116 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,224 Writers write. Peeping Toms iook through windows. 117 00:13:06,387 --> 00:13:10,066 Incredibie. I'm being iectured to by a berserk whore. 118 00:13:10,231 --> 00:13:13,431 I am not a whore, you hear! I'm a modei... 119 00:13:13,594 --> 00:13:16,467 ...and an actress! - Now you've done it. 120 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:21,389 - We'ii both get thrown out. - I appeared in two TV commerciais. 121 00:13:22,955 --> 00:13:26,182 - I've appeared in magazines. - Aii right. Shush. 122 00:13:26,351 --> 00:13:30,871 - And newspapers. It's true. - Shush. Aii right. 123 00:13:31,716 --> 00:13:35,341 Heiio. Hi. Heiio, Mr. Rapzinsky. 124 00:13:35,512 --> 00:13:39,145 Yes, I know. I know. 125 00:13:39,316 --> 00:13:41,149 Yes, it's 3:00. 126 00:13:41,318 --> 00:13:45,626 A friend of... Yes, I will. 127 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,122 Where'd you go, tootsie? 128 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:06,551 Hiding under the covers from the big, bad iady? 129 00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:16,380 Open this door, piease. 130 00:14:20,910 --> 00:14:23,825 - Who's out there? - It's just me, Mr. Sherman. 131 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,548 - Who? - Sherman. Feiix Sherman. 132 00:14:26,708 --> 00:14:28,940 - What are you doing? - I iive here. 133 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:30,830 - Where? - In this apartment. 134 00:14:30,992 --> 00:14:33,873 Don't yeii at me. Do you know what time it is? 135 00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:37,262 - Couid i ciimb through your window...? - Watch out! 136 00:14:37,431 --> 00:14:41,269 Stay where you are. Don't come any cioser. I got a broom. 137 00:14:41,435 --> 00:14:46,267 Look, i've iocked myseif out. Beiieve me, i'm compieteiy unarmed. 138 00:14:46,432 --> 00:14:49,107 He's going to expose himseif! 139 00:14:54,633 --> 00:14:57,229 Hey, Sherman, where are you? 140 00:14:57,395 --> 00:15:00,116 I'm out in the haii. 141 00:15:00,318 --> 00:15:04,390 - What are you doing out there? - I'm iocked out. 142 00:15:04,832 --> 00:15:07,305 - You sure it's you? - Positive. 143 00:15:07,477 --> 00:15:10,039 - Are you aione? - Of course i'm aione. 144 00:15:10,199 --> 00:15:11,759 - Swear. - What? 145 00:15:11,921 --> 00:15:16,469 Swear to me you are just a iittie fruit aii aione in the haiiway. 146 00:15:20,081 --> 00:15:22,153 Did you hurt yourseif, honey? 147 00:15:22,324 --> 00:15:25,470 I think i've got about a doiiar and a haif. 148 00:15:25,639 --> 00:15:28,634 I'ii give it to you and then you'ii go away. 149 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:31,922 - A whoie doiiar and a haif. - Aimost $1.75. 150 00:15:32,085 --> 00:15:35,437 - Now i can go to Europe. - What about the YWCA? 151 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,482 For $1.75? That Christian the YWCA is not. 152 00:15:38,644 --> 00:15:43,962 If "I, Rapzinsky" finds out you're here, he'll throw me, Sherman, out. 153 00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:49,246 Wouidn't that be terribie to get thrown out in the middie of the night? 154 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:53,708 I'm going to sieep. And i'ii be out of here tomorrow morning... 155 00:15:53,876 --> 00:15:59,665 ...because i don't want to iook at your face any more than i have to. Okay? 156 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,428 - Okay. - Where's your TV? 157 00:16:01,596 --> 00:16:06,029 - I'm proud to say i don't have one. - I can't go to sieep without it. 158 00:16:06,192 --> 00:16:09,393 - Use your set. - I can't. He busted it. 159 00:16:09,556 --> 00:16:14,109 He came charging in and he ripped the cord out with his bare ciaws. 160 00:16:14,276 --> 00:16:18,235 I've had this set eight years. Eight years next August. 161 00:16:18,397 --> 00:16:24,314 If he hurt it, if any of those tubes or anything are broken... 162 00:16:24,477 --> 00:16:27,629 ...i swear, i'm gonna murder him. 163 00:16:42,364 --> 00:16:44,511 What's the matter? 164 00:16:44,679 --> 00:16:46,672 You expecting company? 165 00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:50,314 This is an expensive creation. I sent away for it. 166 00:16:50,485 --> 00:16:54,036 - Did it come in piain brown wrap? - It's a modeiiing outfit. 167 00:16:54,205 --> 00:16:59,678 - You modei for the Boston Strangier? - If you're nice, i'ii iet you wear it. 168 00:16:59,966 --> 00:17:03,041 Let's get one thing straight, Doris. 169 00:17:03,209 --> 00:17:06,241 - How did you know my name? - It's written there. 170 00:17:06,404 --> 00:17:09,798 Who gave you permission to read my panties? 171 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,208 Good night. 172 00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:25,998 Hey. What were you gonna say? 173 00:17:35,635 --> 00:17:40,873 Can you taik to me for a few minutes? I can't go to sieep coid turkey. 174 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,515 We have nothing to say. We do not speak the same ianguage. 175 00:17:45,677 --> 00:17:49,150 Oh, come on. I won't hurt you. 176 00:17:50,481 --> 00:17:54,551 - You don't have to be scared of me. - Do you mind?! 177 00:17:55,358 --> 00:17:59,514 - Aimost caught you, didn't i? - Put down the shade and go away. 178 00:17:59,683 --> 00:18:03,076 Why? You think you got something speciai? 179 00:18:03,246 --> 00:18:07,520 - Got something i haven't seen? - One of the very few, no doubt. 180 00:18:07,683 --> 00:18:11,760 You gotta get over this terribie fear of the opposite sex. 181 00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:16,879 - Get out of here. - You iive in a sexuai twiiight worid... 182 00:18:17,044 --> 00:18:21,804 Goddamn it, i'm as normai as you are. Let me rephrase that. 183 00:18:21,969 --> 00:18:24,717 What are you so ashamed of? 184 00:18:24,882 --> 00:18:28,516 - I'm not ashamed of anything. - Oh, yeah? 185 00:19:27,884 --> 00:19:32,757 Oh, God. That's what i get for iaughing so hard. 186 00:19:37,285 --> 00:19:39,755 I'm sorry i iaughed. 187 00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:46,363 I mean, honest, cross my heart, i wasn't iaughing at you, anyway. 188 00:19:46,526 --> 00:19:50,762 I was laughing at the situation. 189 00:19:52,812 --> 00:19:55,001 I mean it. 190 00:19:56,648 --> 00:20:00,692 I mean it, cross my heart. You're a perfectiy nice-iooking person. 191 00:20:00,692 --> 00:20:02,173 Nothing wrong with you at all. 192 00:20:04,331 --> 00:20:05,968 Hold your breath. 193 00:20:06,130 --> 00:20:08,885 It never works. 194 00:20:10,374 --> 00:20:13,494 Take 10 sips of water. 195 00:20:13,856 --> 00:20:17,766 No good. You gotta scare me. 196 00:20:18,654 --> 00:20:22,697 - I've got to scare you? - It's the oniy thing that works. 197 00:20:22,858 --> 00:20:27,485 - You might hiccup yourseif to sieep. - It's a strain on my heart! 198 00:20:27,655 --> 00:20:31,413 Stop fooiing around and scare me, or i'ii scream. Come on. 199 00:20:31,579 --> 00:20:34,410 You're waiting for me to frighten you? 200 00:20:34,575 --> 00:20:37,250 - Put me off my guard. - Off your guard? 201 00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:41,460 Of course, dummy. Change the subject. Distract me. 202 00:20:41,621 --> 00:20:44,688 - Okay. Nice weather we're having. - It's raining. 203 00:20:44,855 --> 00:20:48,899 - It's warmer than this time iast year. - I was in Chicago then. 204 00:20:49,061 --> 00:20:51,003 - Fascinating city. - It stinks! 205 00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:54,915 - Do i have to hiccup to death? - I'm putting you off guard. 206 00:20:55,084 --> 00:20:57,077 - I am! - You're expecting it. 207 00:20:57,246 --> 00:21:00,798 I am not expecting it. Wiii you come on? 208 00:21:06,167 --> 00:21:08,319 You're right. I was expecting it. 209 00:21:08,489 --> 00:21:12,566 I'm going to sieep. I don't care what you do. Good night. 210 00:21:14,489 --> 00:21:18,120 You dirty, heartiess son of a bitch! 211 00:21:28,613 --> 00:21:32,451 Hey, you got anything to drink? 212 00:21:33,338 --> 00:21:35,482 You got any Coca-Coia? 213 00:21:37,133 --> 00:21:40,527 - Hey, Tinkerbeii! - In the icebox. 214 00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:45,092 I couid die, for aii that pervert cares. 215 00:21:50,259 --> 00:21:54,297 Nobody gives a damn about anybody anymore. 216 00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:11,093 What's the matter with you? You crazy? For Christ's sake! 217 00:22:12,024 --> 00:22:15,899 I toid you to scare me, not give me a heart attack. 218 00:22:41,295 --> 00:22:44,251 Get your hands off me, you creep. 219 00:22:51,777 --> 00:22:54,606 - Get her. - Up yours! 220 00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:37,697 This mak es three. 221 00:23:37,863 --> 00:23:42,019 - Three what? - Three times I've been on TV. 222 00:23:44,145 --> 00:23:47,181 This could be your big break. 223 00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:19,135 - What happened? - I know this is an imposition. 224 00:24:19,297 --> 00:24:21,814 - What happened? - If there were any other... 225 00:24:21,980 --> 00:24:23,857 What happened, Feiix? 226 00:24:24,019 --> 00:24:25,734 Feiix? 227 00:24:25,896 --> 00:24:28,777 We've... We've been evicted. 228 00:24:28,939 --> 00:24:31,740 - Heiio. - I'm Doris. Pieased to meet you. 229 00:24:31,902 --> 00:24:35,094 - I'm Barney. - I pian to take this to the courts... 230 00:24:35,257 --> 00:24:38,617 Why don't you teii me about it in the morning? 231 00:24:39,742 --> 00:24:41,256 Feiix? 232 00:24:41,584 --> 00:24:43,541 This is a pecuiiar situation. 233 00:24:43,705 --> 00:24:47,455 Doris and i met this evening for the first time... 234 00:24:47,622 --> 00:24:49,899 ...aithough we iived in the same buiiding. 235 00:24:50,064 --> 00:24:54,453 I didn't have any cash, or we wouid have gone to a hotei. 236 00:24:54,622 --> 00:24:57,057 To separate hoteis. Separate rooms. 237 00:24:57,223 --> 00:24:59,786 You're straight, huh? 238 00:25:02,869 --> 00:25:08,338 I didn't... Barney, you shouid have toid me you were entertaining. 239 00:25:08,506 --> 00:25:13,062 We certainiy wouidn't have interrupted anything. 240 00:25:13,231 --> 00:25:17,618 - You want to use the bathroom? - Certainiy not. 241 00:25:18,348 --> 00:25:20,466 Thank you, though. 242 00:25:20,831 --> 00:25:23,028 Thanks for everything. 243 00:25:36,550 --> 00:25:38,862 Listen, if there's anything i can... 244 00:25:55,298 --> 00:25:58,452 - Feiix. - Yes? 245 00:25:58,661 --> 00:26:01,224 I mean, that's reaiiy your name? Feiix? 246 00:26:01,384 --> 00:26:04,656 Is something wrong with Feiix? 247 00:26:06,141 --> 00:26:11,095 - Kind of eeuuchy-sounding, isn't it? - I'm not famiiiar with "eeuuchy." 248 00:26:11,266 --> 00:26:16,053 If you couid stretch your meagre vocabuiary to eke out a definition... 249 00:26:16,223 --> 00:26:21,746 i mean, Feiix is a good name for a pet snaii. 250 00:26:21,909 --> 00:26:25,419 Thanks. I know you're not weii-versed in etymoiogy... 251 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:27,258 You bet your ass i'm not. 252 00:26:27,426 --> 00:26:31,742 - "Feiix" means "happy and iucky." - That's you. A happy, iucky snaii. 253 00:26:31,911 --> 00:26:33,787 Thank you, Doris. 254 00:26:33,950 --> 00:26:37,418 - What do you mean, "Doris"? - Doris, a heipiess, hopeiess hustier. 255 00:26:37,588 --> 00:26:40,424 I got two things to say! One, I'm not a hustler! 256 00:26:40,591 --> 00:26:45,263 I'm a modei and an actress. I've appeared in three TV commerciais. 257 00:26:45,428 --> 00:26:48,661 Three? You must have made another in the eievator. 258 00:26:48,831 --> 00:26:50,789 Okay, okay! Maybe it was two. 259 00:26:50,954 --> 00:26:54,579 But i've appeared in many magazines and newspapers... 260 00:26:54,749 --> 00:26:57,061 ...and i have been in a movie. 261 00:26:57,232 --> 00:27:00,750 And in between assignments, you're for rent. 262 00:27:00,916 --> 00:27:06,306 I've oniy done that a coupie of times and oniy with respectabie peopie... 263 00:27:06,473 --> 00:27:10,868 ...under emergency conditions. It's something you wouidn't understand. 264 00:27:11,038 --> 00:27:12,108 What is? 265 00:27:12,279 --> 00:27:16,473 That i may be a prostitute, but i am not promiscuous. 266 00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:20,268 You're right. It's a subtie distinction. I take it back. 267 00:27:20,439 --> 00:27:24,871 You're an exampie of capitaiism at its most efficient. You take resources... 268 00:27:25,035 --> 00:27:29,192 ...add the cost of iabour and seii the product for a profit. 269 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:31,907 I didn't foiiow that, but it feit insuiting. 270 00:27:32,068 --> 00:27:36,740 Nope. It was just a statement of the way things are. 271 00:28:20,876 --> 00:28:23,868 Are you pianning to sieep in that position? 272 00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:27,664 It's a habit i got from watching TV at night. 273 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,873 - You had two things to say to me. - I did? 274 00:28:45,237 --> 00:28:47,434 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 275 00:28:47,959 --> 00:28:54,354 I just happen to know what the name Doris means because i iooked it up. 276 00:28:55,239 --> 00:28:58,279 So i guess you don't know everything. 277 00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:06,000 You don't know what the name Doris means, do you, Dr. IQ? 278 00:29:10,190 --> 00:29:12,343 Wouid you iike me to teii you... 279 00:29:12,513 --> 00:29:16,502 ...what the name Doris means? Wouid you iike to iearn something? 280 00:29:19,151 --> 00:29:21,827 If it wiii heip you sieep. 281 00:29:23,316 --> 00:29:27,464 The name "Doris" means "a Dorian woman." 282 00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:32,510 - And what is a Dorian woman? - Beats the shit out of me. 283 00:29:33,715 --> 00:29:36,671 Very nice. Do you want to turn out the iight? 284 00:29:36,833 --> 00:29:39,224 - I can't go to sieep yet. - But i can. 285 00:29:39,436 --> 00:29:42,670 Weii, you're a very fortunate person. 286 00:29:50,679 --> 00:29:54,714 It's nice to be abie to go to sieep whenever you want to. 287 00:30:00,521 --> 00:30:04,829 Once i do go to sieep, i do sieep very soundiy, you know. 288 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,960 Like a iog. 289 00:30:11,444 --> 00:30:13,674 Like a corpse. 290 00:30:15,359 --> 00:30:19,242 But it's very hard for me to get to sieep once i'm awake. 291 00:30:22,887 --> 00:30:28,242 I had this shrink once who said it was because i was afraid of dying. 292 00:30:28,885 --> 00:30:30,479 I don't know. 293 00:30:30,647 --> 00:30:32,446 I think that... 294 00:30:32,609 --> 00:30:39,046 i think that it... i got this... i got too much of this stuff caiied... 295 00:30:40,649 --> 00:30:42,562 ...adrenaiint. 296 00:30:43,251 --> 00:30:45,806 That i got, you know? 297 00:30:56,233 --> 00:31:00,789 See, iike when i'm iying very stiii, i can feei it, you know? 298 00:31:01,599 --> 00:31:03,793 Sort of... 299 00:31:03,957 --> 00:31:06,516 ...going up my body. 300 00:31:06,676 --> 00:31:09,512 In aii my organs. 301 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:15,794 My arms. My iegs. 302 00:31:15,997 --> 00:31:18,388 Like energy. 303 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,395 Like eiectricity. 304 00:31:22,043 --> 00:31:25,918 Like Lon Chaney, you know, in the Man Made Monster? 305 00:31:26,079 --> 00:31:30,999 Where they experiment on him by giving him big hunks of eiectricity... 306 00:31:31,164 --> 00:31:32,838 ...untii he damn near giows. 307 00:31:33,006 --> 00:31:36,551 After he kiiis someone, he's put in the eiectric chair... 308 00:31:36,722 --> 00:31:39,922 ...where they give him 50,000 voits of eiectricity. 309 00:31:40,085 --> 00:31:42,157 This makes him mad as heii. 310 00:31:42,327 --> 00:31:45,998 So he busts ioose, and when they try to grab him... 311 00:31:46,163 --> 00:31:51,083 ...they reaiize aii he has to do is siip them a goose and they wouid fry. 312 00:31:51,248 --> 00:31:54,000 Can you imagine what that must be iike? 313 00:31:54,166 --> 00:31:56,554 What is it?! Why are you doing this?! 314 00:31:56,726 --> 00:32:01,042 - What's the matter? - I've been up since yesterday morning. 315 00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:04,007 My body is yearning for sieep, desperateiy. 316 00:32:04,168 --> 00:32:08,606 I have things to do today. I wouid iike to be awake when i do them. 317 00:32:09,090 --> 00:32:14,085 I am not biessed with excess adrenaiine. I am cursed by the need... 318 00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:18,803 ...once every day or so, to ciose my eyes and to actuaiiy sieep. 319 00:32:18,972 --> 00:32:23,923 "To actuaiiy sieep." You've got me so punchy i'm spiitting infinitives! 320 00:32:24,093 --> 00:32:28,849 My mind is cracking. Soon i won't be responsibie for my actions! 321 00:32:29,014 --> 00:32:33,870 - You're a tiger when you're aroused. - Please! Please, Doris! 322 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:39,069 I'm asking you, in the name of everything we hoid sacred... 323 00:32:39,241 --> 00:32:40,801 ...go to sieep. 324 00:32:40,963 --> 00:32:45,795 I'm sorry, but i can't faii asieep without the TV on. It soothes me. 325 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:50,674 - How about a sieeping piii? - They're too enervating. 326 00:32:51,285 --> 00:32:53,402 - Did you hear what i said? - What? 327 00:32:53,565 --> 00:32:57,442 - I said piiis are too enervating. - Yes, i heard that. 328 00:32:57,603 --> 00:33:00,997 - You know what "enervating" means? - Yes, I do. 329 00:33:01,167 --> 00:33:05,634 Peopie think it means the opposite of what it means. But it doesn't. 330 00:33:05,804 --> 00:33:09,402 - No, words rareiy do. - Do what? 331 00:33:09,567 --> 00:33:15,276 Mean the opposite of what they mean. My God, i'm starting to taik iike her! 332 00:33:15,525 --> 00:33:19,238 Hey, maybe you couid borrow a TV set from next door? 333 00:33:29,531 --> 00:33:31,889 What are you doing? 334 00:33:32,254 --> 00:33:35,321 Then there's no way to prove my innocence? 335 00:33:35,489 --> 00:33:39,327 Don't worry. Before he died, the oid indian confessed. 336 00:33:39,493 --> 00:33:42,568 He toid us everything. Everything? 337 00:33:42,736 --> 00:33:47,443 Yes, everything about the money. They found it where he buried it... 338 00:33:47,613 --> 00:33:51,530 ...next to the oid cross on the hiii. And about Louise. 339 00:33:51,697 --> 00:33:56,484 Louise, is she...? Yes, but she'ii never waik again. 340 00:33:56,654 --> 00:33:58,009 Never? 341 00:33:58,176 --> 00:34:03,810 At ieast, not untii next week when she waiks down the aisie with you. 342 00:34:03,978 --> 00:34:07,253 But, Dad, I thought... No, no, son. 343 00:34:07,417 --> 00:34:09,922 Your mother and i found her years ago. 344 00:34:10,085 --> 00:34:15,679 A tiny thing she was, haif-dead with exposure, in Samson's Guich. 345 00:34:15,842 --> 00:34:18,075 - Then...? - That's right, son... 346 00:34:18,245 --> 00:34:23,685 ...Louise is not your sister. But that's another story. 347 00:34:26,405 --> 00:34:30,961 Just time for a wrap-up of tonight's headiines before we sign off. 348 00:34:31,130 --> 00:34:35,244 The body of writer Feiix Sherman was found eariy this morning. 349 00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:39,722 Autopsy reports show the cause of death was aggravated exhaustion. 350 00:34:39,890 --> 00:34:42,726 And that's this evening's headiines. 351 00:34:42,893 --> 00:34:47,008 Tonight's sermonette deais with God's greatest gift to man: 352 00:34:47,170 --> 00:34:49,242 The power of sieep. 353 00:34:49,412 --> 00:34:52,885 Sieep that refreshes the body and nourishes the mind. 354 00:34:53,056 --> 00:34:56,566 Sieep that knits up the raveiied sieeve of care. 355 00:34:56,731 --> 00:35:00,205 Sieep that seizes minister, priest and rabbi aiike... 356 00:35:00,375 --> 00:35:04,808 ...without regard for coiour or nationai origin. 357 00:35:13,498 --> 00:35:19,130 This is FELiX-TV, the Sherman station, signing off... 358 00:35:19,298 --> 00:35:20,812 ...forever. 359 00:35:24,258 --> 00:35:27,090 That was terrific. That was reaiiy terrific! 360 00:35:27,258 --> 00:35:30,492 - Don't get up. - You must be a terrific writer. 361 00:35:30,661 --> 00:35:33,336 - Piease don't get up. - I gotta get water. 362 00:35:33,502 --> 00:35:36,457 - Did you write for TV? - Oh, my God, she's up. 363 00:35:36,619 --> 00:35:38,737 - Did you write for TV? - She's up. 364 00:35:38,901 --> 00:35:41,418 No, i never wrote for the iobotomy box. 365 00:35:41,584 --> 00:35:44,855 - Did you write for movies? - No, I didn't. 366 00:35:45,019 --> 00:35:47,980 - That's too bad. - They don't seem to think so. 367 00:35:48,142 --> 00:35:53,001 I iove the movies. I used to go every night to 42nd Street. 368 00:35:53,173 --> 00:35:57,526 But somebody was aiways sitting next to me, trying something weird. 369 00:35:57,689 --> 00:36:00,525 - Ever try reading? - That wouidn't stop them. 370 00:36:00,812 --> 00:36:05,360 No, i don't mean in the theatre. Did you ever try reading a book? 371 00:36:05,529 --> 00:36:09,526 I used to read Playboy aii the time untii i got mad at them. 372 00:36:09,693 --> 00:36:10,922 Why? 373 00:36:11,094 --> 00:36:15,846 Weii, i posed for these terrific Piaymate of the Month things, you know? 374 00:36:16,011 --> 00:36:19,644 - Yeah, what happened? - They sent them back. 375 00:36:20,216 --> 00:36:22,971 I know the feeiing. 376 00:36:32,700 --> 00:36:35,448 Hey, Feiix. 377 00:36:39,098 --> 00:36:40,897 You wanna fooi around? 378 00:36:42,742 --> 00:36:46,651 No, I do not want to fool around. 379 00:36:46,818 --> 00:36:50,940 Okay. Want a drink of water? 380 00:36:51,102 --> 00:36:55,615 I know this wiii come as a great surprise, but i wouid iike to sieep. 381 00:36:55,779 --> 00:36:58,854 - Couid you teii me a story? - It's impossibie. 382 00:36:59,022 --> 00:37:03,065 Just teii me a story and i swear i wiii go to sieep. 383 00:37:03,225 --> 00:37:04,972 What kind of story? 384 00:37:05,220 --> 00:37:07,976 You know, iike a good movie story. 385 00:37:08,143 --> 00:37:11,696 Sorry, i don't know the story of The Sound of Music. 386 00:37:11,867 --> 00:37:15,059 Oh, no. Not that terribie thing. 387 00:37:15,663 --> 00:37:17,895 You thought it was terribie? 388 00:37:18,065 --> 00:37:20,866 Four times, I saw that terrible movie. 389 00:37:21,028 --> 00:37:24,858 - You must have reaiiy hated it. - Neariy kiiied my friend Eieanor. 390 00:37:25,024 --> 00:37:29,021 In the baicony of the RKO 86th Street, now torn down. 391 00:37:29,228 --> 00:37:32,094 - Yes? - It was piaying continuous. 392 00:37:32,256 --> 00:37:34,527 No intermission. 393 00:37:34,692 --> 00:37:38,574 - Get it? - Not quite. 394 00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:42,210 Her biadder burst. 395 00:37:43,737 --> 00:37:47,615 - There's a iesson there for aii of us. - What about my story? 396 00:37:47,776 --> 00:37:52,331 - I pian to have a nightmare. Listen in. - The stories in your suitcase? 397 00:37:52,501 --> 00:37:54,850 They are works in progress. 398 00:37:55,015 --> 00:37:58,328 Read me some of them. I'm interested. I reaiiy am. 399 00:37:58,859 --> 00:38:01,695 - You wouid not understand. - How do you know? 400 00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:06,614 It has no beautifui peopie, no hit songs, no happy ending. 401 00:38:07,099 --> 00:38:09,855 Maybe i can show you where you went wrong. 402 00:38:10,022 --> 00:38:13,901 I went wrong when i opened my front door at 2 this morning. 403 00:38:14,061 --> 00:38:17,611 Read me your stuff and i'ii never ask anything again. 404 00:38:17,782 --> 00:38:21,255 I dig the sound of your voice. It's very enervating. 405 00:38:21,425 --> 00:38:24,653 You know what that means? Oh, i toid you. 406 00:38:24,821 --> 00:38:27,622 Come on, read me a story. 407 00:38:27,784 --> 00:38:30,141 I don't want to read you my story. 408 00:38:30,306 --> 00:38:34,093 Isn't there any other way you can faii asieep? 409 00:38:34,304 --> 00:38:37,138 - I'ii read you my story. - Great! 410 00:38:38,186 --> 00:38:42,547 I'm a terrific audience. I bet i'm asieep before page two. 411 00:38:42,711 --> 00:38:45,698 That wouid be a compiiment. 412 00:39:08,713 --> 00:39:12,296 "Scream. Chapter One: The City." 413 00:39:12,461 --> 00:39:15,972 "Scream." That's the titie, right? Scream? 414 00:39:16,137 --> 00:39:17,457 Yes. 415 00:39:17,899 --> 00:39:20,814 - "The City." - That's a wiid titie. 416 00:39:20,982 --> 00:39:22,302 Thank you. 417 00:39:22,463 --> 00:39:27,534 "The city came to iife. The sun spit morning into Juiian's face. 418 00:39:27,701 --> 00:39:30,901 Traffic's symphony responded to day's downbeat... 419 00:39:31,064 --> 00:39:33,941 ...as a miiiion souis wrapped in the cocoon of sieep..." 420 00:39:34,102 --> 00:39:36,137 The sun spit morning? 421 00:39:36,301 --> 00:39:39,580 "As a miiiion souis wrapped in the cocoon..." 422 00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:43,533 The sun spit morning into this guy's face? 423 00:39:43,706 --> 00:39:48,699 - That was the image, yes. - His face got morning spit into it? 424 00:39:49,186 --> 00:39:53,942 - I toid you, you wouidn't iike it. - You said i wouidn't understand it. 425 00:39:54,106 --> 00:39:57,621 I understand it, but i don't disiike it. I hate it! 426 00:39:57,787 --> 00:40:01,226 - It wasn't written for you. - Who was it written for? 427 00:40:01,390 --> 00:40:05,265 What right have you got to say a terribie thing iike that? 428 00:40:05,426 --> 00:40:09,742 What are you yeiiing about? It's a simpie metaphor, that's aii. 429 00:40:09,911 --> 00:40:15,028 That is not aii! The sun spit morning into this guy's face! 430 00:40:16,229 --> 00:40:18,301 We didn't wake you, did we? 431 00:40:18,471 --> 00:40:21,307 Oh, no. Not at all. 432 00:40:21,474 --> 00:40:24,621 We thought we'd go watch the garbage coiiectors. 433 00:40:24,790 --> 00:40:27,670 Get a jump on the crowd. 434 00:40:27,833 --> 00:40:30,793 I'm sorry if we caused you any disturbance. 435 00:40:30,955 --> 00:40:35,981 No, reaiiy. We pianned to take a drive today in the country anyway. 436 00:40:36,153 --> 00:40:38,669 And since the sun has begun to spit... 437 00:40:38,836 --> 00:40:43,434 ...we thought we'd get out eariy and catch some of the morning drooi. 438 00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:55,935 I sure hope i didn't embarrass you with your friend. 439 00:40:58,464 --> 00:41:01,823 Hey, that's not his oid iady, is it? 440 00:41:03,228 --> 00:41:06,261 He's a very nice-iooking person. 441 00:41:09,427 --> 00:41:13,105 You know, you're not so bad yourseif. I'm not kidding. 442 00:41:15,146 --> 00:41:18,140 Hey, aren't you gonna taik to me anymore? 443 00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:21,068 Hello? 444 00:41:22,592 --> 00:41:25,465 I'm sorry if i used aii that vuigar ianguage... 445 00:41:25,627 --> 00:41:28,383 ...and that you got bounced out of your piace. 446 00:41:28,550 --> 00:41:31,113 I was so goddamn... i mean gosh-darn mad. 447 00:41:31,273 --> 00:41:36,982 You had every right. Considering the facts, your conduct was exempiary. 448 00:41:37,151 --> 00:41:39,269 You sure know some big words. 449 00:41:39,433 --> 00:41:41,824 Language is my business. 450 00:41:42,116 --> 00:41:45,706 - You okay in there? - Yes. 451 00:41:49,515 --> 00:41:53,906 - What you doing? - Brushing my teeth. 452 00:41:54,314 --> 00:41:56,509 Make much money at it? 453 00:41:56,714 --> 00:42:00,267 Brushing my teeth isn't the attraction it used to be. 454 00:42:00,478 --> 00:42:04,469 - No, dummy, i meant writing. - I don't write to make money. 455 00:42:04,675 --> 00:42:06,792 But you'd take it if they paid? 456 00:42:06,956 --> 00:42:11,432 Yes, but it wouid be inconsistent with my aesthetic responsibiiities. 457 00:42:11,601 --> 00:42:13,908 I understood "with" and "my." 458 00:42:14,119 --> 00:42:19,514 They wouid give me money to write their way. I want to write my way. 459 00:42:19,721 --> 00:42:23,272 Weii, i guess they figure it's their money. 460 00:42:24,838 --> 00:42:28,915 Yes, i think that's the way they figure. 461 00:42:43,352 --> 00:42:45,908 Good night, Doris. 462 00:43:11,278 --> 00:43:14,153 - Why did you do that? - This is a doubie bed. 463 00:43:14,355 --> 00:43:16,072 I know. 464 00:43:16,235 --> 00:43:18,626 I feei seifish sieeping aione in a bed... 465 00:43:18,797 --> 00:43:22,271 ...when there are peopie in China sieeping on the ground. 466 00:43:22,441 --> 00:43:25,074 - I'ii just make it up again. - I'ii do it. 467 00:43:25,276 --> 00:43:30,309 - I'm quite capable of doing it mysself. - Look, I un'made it. Ill 'make itl 468 00:43:30,521 --> 00:43:34,511 - I said III do itl III do itl - Lool... 469 00:43:36,158 --> 00:43:37,479 Dorisl 470 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,362 - You kind of get to me. - Come on, Doris! 471 00:43:40,563 --> 00:43:44,633 - Baby, I am coming on. - I'm about to give you a thrashing! 472 00:43:44,839 --> 00:43:47,436 - I dig tough guys. - Violence is not me. 473 00:43:47,642 --> 00:43:50,158 I dig gentle guys. I know you want it. 474 00:43:50,365 --> 00:43:52,926 - I'm not an animal. - You'll love it. 475 00:43:53,126 --> 00:43:56,672 I'm not governed by my appetites. I'm an intellectual. 476 00:43:56,883 --> 00:43:59,320 My life is governed by my mind! 477 00:43:59,526 --> 00:44:02,362 - Look, baby... - I am not "baby," I am Felix. 478 00:44:02,529 --> 00:44:06,564 I don't care about your past. I've been with guys who were AC/DC. 479 00:44:06,805 --> 00:44:11,915 Goddamn it, I am not AC/DC! Can't you understand that? I am totally DC! 480 00:44:12,155 --> 00:44:14,711 If you want to, just give me your hand. 481 00:44:14,911 --> 00:44:20,308 Close your eyes and pretend I'm a guy. A guy with a really screwed-up shape. 482 00:44:23,316 --> 00:44:26,351 Wow, that was terrific! 483 00:44:33,238 --> 00:44:35,304 - I'll get it. - I can get it. 484 00:44:35,515 --> 00:44:37,074 - I got it! - Let me do it! 485 00:44:37,276 --> 00:44:41,319 - You're making it tighter. - I can do it. I'm used to this. 486 00:44:41,521 --> 00:44:46,307 - Let me untie it. Let me help, baby. - Get it. Get it. 487 00:44:46,518 --> 00:44:49,957 - Let me do it. - You're making it tighter. 488 00:44:50,161 --> 00:44:52,519 Wait a minute. 489 00:44:53,122 --> 00:44:56,156 - I got it. - Give it to me. 490 00:44:58,401 --> 00:45:01,761 - Watch it! Watch out! - Shit! 491 00:45:02,285 --> 00:45:05,317 Wait a minute. Just... Oh, you mother! 492 00:45:05,521 --> 00:45:07,991 - Don't point down! - Wait. Come here! 493 00:45:08,243 --> 00:45:11,443 - Easy! All right. Okay. - Here it goes! 494 00:45:18,886 --> 00:45:21,608 No, that's not it. That's not it, honey. 495 00:45:21,809 --> 00:45:26,721 - Give me a hint. - No, no. You have to undo it. 496 00:45:26,926 --> 00:45:29,317 - Does it hinge or something? - Yeah. 497 00:45:29,529 --> 00:45:33,125 - No, that's not it. - Do I have to say a secret word? 498 00:45:33,330 --> 00:45:36,364 Can I please help? Let go! Don't tear it! 499 00:45:36,608 --> 00:45:41,322 - Is this thing a decal or something? - I'll do it! I'll do it! 500 00:46:03,959 --> 00:46:05,835 What do you think? 501 00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:18,271 Do that some more. Do that some more. Come on, baby. 502 00:46:18,482 --> 00:46:20,953 - Come on, baby! - I'm not "baby." 503 00:46:21,205 --> 00:46:23,559 - Keep it up, lover! - I'm not "lover." 504 00:46:23,804 --> 00:46:25,918 Yeah, come on. 505 00:46:28,324 --> 00:46:29,918 Good, good, good. 506 00:46:30,126 --> 00:46:33,119 Attaboy, attaboy. Yeah, very good. 507 00:46:33,327 --> 00:46:36,122 Put your hand there. Under there, yeah. 508 00:46:36,324 --> 00:46:41,119 - Doris, please! - Wait, let me get my leg over. 509 00:46:41,329 --> 00:46:43,921 Doris? 510 00:46:44,167 --> 00:46:46,806 Good. How does that feel? 511 00:46:47,047 --> 00:46:49,324 How's that feel? Is it good? 512 00:46:49,529 --> 00:46:55,717 Could you please refrain from talking so much? It's ruining my concentration. 513 00:46:55,928 --> 00:46:59,811 - What am I, a chess problem? - Just shut up! 514 00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:09,327 Doris, please! Please, Doris! 515 00:47:09,533 --> 00:47:12,130 Come on, Doris! 516 00:47:13,295 --> 00:47:18,687 - What's the matter? - Just a simple respect for tradition. 517 00:47:19,255 --> 00:47:22,614 Anything you say, Mr. Sherman. 518 00:47:40,325 --> 00:47:42,318 What's your last name? 519 00:47:46,243 --> 00:47:47,802 Waverly. 520 00:47:48,525 --> 00:47:51,042 Are you sure? 521 00:47:51,208 --> 00:47:56,404 Sure, I'm sure. It's just that you asked me so suddenly. 522 00:47:57,166 --> 00:48:02,767 Well, actually, I am in between names right now. 523 00:48:02,971 --> 00:48:09,125 I tried Wadsworth for a while, and Wellington. 524 00:48:09,330 --> 00:48:12,643 But, at the moment, it's Waverly. 525 00:48:13,730 --> 00:48:16,448 Why do you keep changing it? 526 00:48:16,609 --> 00:48:20,926 It's important for an actress to have a catchy name, you know? 527 00:48:21,094 --> 00:48:23,889 Something that the audience can remember... 528 00:48:24,052 --> 00:48:27,647 ...and that sounds kind of classy. Don't you think? 529 00:48:27,812 --> 00:48:31,695 I think it's important for an actress to have some talent... 530 00:48:31,896 --> 00:48:33,771 - I got talent! - I didn't mean... 531 00:48:33,933 --> 00:48:39,169 I got plenty of talent. Just because I don't talk good, you think I'm dumb. 532 00:48:39,376 --> 00:48:43,608 Doris, I am telling you, you are not dumb. 533 00:48:44,136 --> 00:48:47,492 - You're not just being polite? - No. 534 00:48:48,097 --> 00:48:50,567 Well, you're wrong. 535 00:48:51,260 --> 00:48:55,886 Half the time, I don't understand you. Those big words really bug me. 536 00:48:56,057 --> 00:49:01,659 - Big words are not intrinsically... - Again! I don't know what that means. 537 00:49:01,822 --> 00:49:04,537 - Why do you get angry? - Why do I get angry? 538 00:49:04,698 --> 00:49:08,819 Suppose I said I spent time stoobulating. What would you think? 539 00:49:08,981 --> 00:49:12,928 I would think that that shows you have imagination. 540 00:49:14,047 --> 00:49:17,437 Not anybody can make up a word like "stubbulating." 541 00:49:17,607 --> 00:49:18,643 Stoobulating. 542 00:49:18,808 --> 00:49:25,076 The fact that you get upset when you don't understand shows your curiosity. 543 00:49:26,288 --> 00:49:29,601 - Yeah, that's a great attribute. - Watch it. 544 00:49:29,851 --> 00:49:31,366 Quality. 545 00:49:39,413 --> 00:49:44,167 Hey, I really do like talking to you, you know? 546 00:49:44,332 --> 00:49:45,969 Thank you. 547 00:49:48,214 --> 00:49:50,046 I bet... 548 00:49:51,016 --> 00:49:55,962 ...if we had a good conversation, say, once a day... 549 00:49:56,134 --> 00:49:59,094 ...I could learn a hell of a lot. 550 00:49:59,257 --> 00:50:02,774 There are aspects of life I could learn from you. 551 00:50:02,939 --> 00:50:05,733 You bet your ass. 552 00:50:07,257 --> 00:50:11,539 - Let me ask you something... - How do you like Washington? 553 00:50:11,701 --> 00:50:14,165 Washington, you like it? 554 00:50:14,338 --> 00:50:20,656 - Well, it's an exciting town. - Washington! Doris Washington. 555 00:50:21,663 --> 00:50:23,969 That 's very nice. 556 00:50:24,380 --> 00:50:27,133 Listen, Doris Washington, tell me something. 557 00:50:30,264 --> 00:50:34,255 I can't help being curious about... 558 00:50:35,461 --> 00:50:37,419 - No, never mind. - What is it? 559 00:50:37,583 --> 00:50:39,815 It's none of my business anyway. 560 00:50:40,065 --> 00:50:44,057 I'll tell you if it's none of your business. Ask me. 561 00:50:44,264 --> 00:50:49,260 - You've been with a great many men... - None of your business. 562 00:50:49,427 --> 00:50:51,450 - I understand. - Understand what? 563 00:50:51,614 --> 00:50:55,683 - I didn't mean to upset you. - You think that could upset me? 564 00:50:55,850 --> 00:51:00,052 - What are you shrieking for? - I don't shriek. I talk loud. 565 00:51:00,254 --> 00:51:05,406 It's not okay! What'd you have to go and ask me a question like that for? 566 00:51:05,612 --> 00:51:08,003 I was curious, that's all. 567 00:51:08,214 --> 00:51:13,574 A peculiar thing to be curious about. How would you feel if I asked you that? 568 00:51:13,776 --> 00:51:18,213 - I wouldn't get defensive. - Because the answer's not interesting. 569 00:51:18,457 --> 00:51:23,055 - You're making this very personal. - I am? I'm sorry about that. 570 00:51:23,218 --> 00:51:26,846 After all, the question you asked me wasn't personal! 571 00:51:27,057 --> 00:51:30,371 "Tell me about the 5000 or 6000 guys you slept with." 572 00:51:30,581 --> 00:51:35,777 - But, Doris, in your case... - In my case? Yeah, I'm a special case. 573 00:51:35,938 --> 00:51:41,176 - I didn't say anything about 6000 guys. - But that's what you were thinking! 574 00:51:43,861 --> 00:51:45,418 Right? 575 00:51:45,620 --> 00:51:48,375 - Where are you going? - None of your business. 576 00:51:48,543 --> 00:51:50,775 - Is the truth that disturbing? - What truth? 577 00:51:51,025 --> 00:51:53,935 Why don't you ask what you really wanted to ask? 578 00:51:54,103 --> 00:51:57,095 - What is that, pray tell? - I'll pray tell you. 579 00:51:57,263 --> 00:52:00,976 You want to know how you stood up to the competition. 580 00:52:01,187 --> 00:52:05,655 - You want to know if you passed. - Lf you say so, teacher. 581 00:52:05,864 --> 00:52:10,146 - Ordinarily, I don't handle beginners. - A pro like you wouldn't. 582 00:52:10,348 --> 00:52:13,818 I know what your next question would have been too... 583 00:52:13,987 --> 00:52:18,266 ...because it's the same dumb question every trick asks: 584 00:52:18,428 --> 00:52:23,299 "Did you actually get a thrill after all the times you've done it? 585 00:52:23,550 --> 00:52:27,224 A piece of wood like you couldn't enjoy doing it... 586 00:52:27,469 --> 00:52:32,976 ...with an honest, clean-living, hotshot citizen like me." Right? 587 00:52:33,138 --> 00:52:36,207 Why don't I know better? How come I never learn? 588 00:52:36,415 --> 00:52:42,371 I'm not gonna be treated like a thing. I am a real person named Doris Wilgus! 589 00:52:42,581 --> 00:52:44,453 Wilgus? 590 00:52:45,257 --> 00:52:48,969 Take your beady eyes off me while I tell you something. 591 00:52:49,180 --> 00:52:52,175 Last night, I thought something real nice was happening. 592 00:52:52,423 --> 00:52:55,172 You really seemed to be a nice guy and all. 593 00:52:55,379 --> 00:53:00,298 But I'll tell you, I fall in love all the time, so it's no big deal. 594 00:53:00,543 --> 00:53:04,091 You were nice for a while. You said some swell things. 595 00:53:04,261 --> 00:53:08,621 So it proves you're a better actor than I am. I mean, actress. 596 00:53:08,824 --> 00:53:12,376 You'd know more about that since your acting's done in bed. 597 00:53:12,586 --> 00:53:15,540 Someone's gotta know what they're doing. 598 00:53:15,703 --> 00:53:19,585 Sorry if I didn't measure up. Do I get graded on a scale of 10? 599 00:53:19,787 --> 00:53:22,257 - Lf you accept fractions. - Know what you need? 600 00:53:22,469 --> 00:53:25,741 - I'm not interested! - You need a psychiatrist... 601 00:53:25,945 --> 00:53:30,500 ...who might, if he has time, assemble the pieces of your jumbled mind. 602 00:53:30,710 --> 00:53:34,256 - Bullshit! - A technical term from the theatre? 603 00:53:34,427 --> 00:53:38,024 Listen, Mister Know-It-AII, I did my time on the couch. 604 00:53:38,229 --> 00:53:41,269 - Well, if a bed isn't handy... - Very funny! 605 00:53:41,432 --> 00:53:46,025 Anyway, that shrink was just like you, all talk and no action. 606 00:53:46,269 --> 00:53:50,312 He said, "Do what you want as long as it doesn't make you unhappy." 607 00:53:50,553 --> 00:53:54,339 So I did. I didn't pay my bill. It made him mad as hell! 608 00:53:54,550 --> 00:53:57,784 Why didn't you let him take it out in trade? 609 00:54:00,876 --> 00:54:03,672 Give me a dollar, please... 610 00:54:03,874 --> 00:54:06,592 ...if you can manage it. 611 00:54:07,234 --> 00:54:10,658 Just so I can get a cab somewhere. 612 00:54:12,543 --> 00:54:14,371 - Where do I send it? - Forget it. 613 00:54:14,539 --> 00:54:16,656 - I won't. - You worked for it. 614 00:54:16,821 --> 00:54:20,373 - Which is more than you did. - You can earn nine or 10 more. 615 00:54:20,544 --> 00:54:23,501 I'll come back here. Your friend Barney will tell me. 616 00:54:23,663 --> 00:54:27,782 Send it to Doubleday, 53rd and Fifth. 617 00:54:30,867 --> 00:54:33,380 Is that where you work? 618 00:54:33,665 --> 00:54:35,973 At Doubleday? 619 00:54:36,224 --> 00:54:38,581 In a bookstore? 620 00:54:39,467 --> 00:54:42,064 What are you, a clerk? 621 00:54:43,747 --> 00:54:48,776 Hey, get a load of that! The bigtime writer is a book clerk. 622 00:54:48,949 --> 00:54:50,668 That makes me happy. 623 00:54:50,831 --> 00:54:54,060 - I'm glad something satisfies you. - Happy book-selling, Mr. Sherman. 624 00:54:54,228 --> 00:54:57,346 Happy streetwalking, Miss Whatever-Your-Name-Is. 625 00:54:57,549 --> 00:55:02,831 Maybe I'll come to the store and take a look at the two-bit book peddler... 626 00:55:03,073 --> 00:55:05,379 ...who will never be a writer. 627 00:55:05,589 --> 00:55:09,029 - How would you know? You can't read. - I'll tell you how I know! 628 00:55:09,273 --> 00:55:13,983 I know that you will never be a writer no matter how hard you pretend... 629 00:55:14,232 --> 00:55:19,628 ...because, goddamn it, the sun does not spit! 630 00:57:00,921 --> 00:57:04,593 The clock's stopped with less than a minute remaining. 631 00:57:04,797 --> 00:57:10,400 The Wolves, trailing by three, have a first down at the 25-yard line. 632 00:57:12,004 --> 00:57:16,233 Stop! What do you mean by that, you stupid lug? 633 00:57:52,876 --> 00:57:55,388 - Screw? - I beg your pardon? 634 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,993 /'ll ask him for one dress and / can explain to him... 635 00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:17,834 ...how /'m an actress and it'd be good for his business... 636 00:58:18,079 --> 00:58:23,030 ...for me to wear one of his dresses, and he'll give me one on credit. 637 00:58:57,086 --> 00:59:00,126 - Could you tell me...? - What, mister? 638 00:59:00,289 --> 00:59:03,803 - Could you tell me what time...? - What, mister? 639 00:59:07,088 --> 00:59:12,596 - What time does Cycle Sluts go on? - What, mister? 640 00:59:12,957 --> 00:59:17,392 - Cycle Sluts! - Yes, yes. 641 00:59:18,957 --> 00:59:24,747 - I want to see Cycle Sluts. - Sluts now. 642 00:59:30,801 --> 00:59:32,712 - Overcoat? - I don't have one. 643 00:59:32,881 --> 00:59:35,597 You want to rent one? 644 00:59:41,283 --> 00:59:45,478 - Let me put money down on a dress... - I'm not here to sell no dress. 645 00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:49,802 If you're looking for trouble, that's what you're gonna find. 646 00:59:49,964 --> 00:59:53,797 Relax, relax, don't get so twitchy. 647 00:59:56,362 --> 00:59:59,198 Where do you think you're going now? 648 00:59:59,886 --> 01:00:03,400 I think I'm gonna go in here for a second. Okay? 649 01:00:03,646 --> 01:00:08,926 Okay, but I'll give you 30 seconds to get out of there. It's getting late. 650 01:00:09,167 --> 01:00:12,798 - I gotta get home, know what I mean? - Me too. 651 01:00:15,006 --> 01:00:17,806 You're a very neat person, aren't you? 652 01:00:18,048 --> 01:00:22,283 Well, I believe a man's clothes are his most valuable possession. 653 01:00:22,451 --> 01:00:23,518 Oh, boy. 654 01:00:23,729 --> 01:00:25,639 - Bring her in here. - No, no. 655 01:00:25,808 --> 01:00:28,689 - Yeah, to the room. - No, not the room! 656 01:00:28,851 --> 01:00:31,926 - Don't try that, you slut. - Want some of this? 657 01:00:32,174 --> 01:00:36,288 - No, no, / beg of you. - Hold her while / open the door. 658 01:00:36,490 --> 01:00:37,845 No, no, pleasel 659 01:00:38,092 --> 01:00:42,805 you'll stay in there until you learn some discipline. 660 01:00:45,052 --> 01:00:46,850 What are you doing? 661 01:00:47,093 --> 01:00:51,473 What's that for? What are you gonna do with that? 662 01:00:51,683 --> 01:00:56,036 What's that thing? And what's that other thing? 663 01:00:56,279 --> 01:01:00,515 Where do you plan to put that? Waitl Hold itl you can't do thatl 664 01:01:00,764 --> 01:01:05,835 No, not with both of theml you can't, / tell youl you can'tl 665 01:01:06,001 --> 01:01:10,317 Can you? Maybe you can. 666 01:01:10,565 --> 01:01:13,033 My God, you couldl 667 01:01:25,005 --> 01:01:27,474 I've got something to tell you. 668 01:01:27,646 --> 01:01:29,286 What? 669 01:01:30,369 --> 01:01:33,677 I don't know how you're gonna take this... 670 01:01:33,848 --> 01:01:36,156 ...but you got a right to know. 671 01:01:36,327 --> 01:01:38,206 Know what? 672 01:01:41,973 --> 01:01:45,484 I just flushed your pants down the toilet. 673 01:01:59,294 --> 01:02:04,004 We close in five minutes. Can I help you find something? 674 01:02:09,897 --> 01:02:12,492 Are you sure I can't help you? 675 01:02:12,697 --> 01:02:14,571 We close in four minutes. 676 01:02:15,095 --> 01:02:16,893 - I'm Eleanor. - I see. 677 01:02:17,056 --> 01:02:18,854 Don't mean much to you, does it? 678 01:02:19,018 --> 01:02:24,568 I don't think too much of you either. I don't figure what she sees in you. 679 01:02:24,776 --> 01:02:27,850 - I appreciate your honesty, but... - You're a dump. 680 01:02:28,019 --> 01:02:30,281 - A what? - The way you treated her... 681 01:02:30,486 --> 01:02:33,159 Wait a minute. The way I treated whom? 682 01:02:33,365 --> 01:02:36,436 - Doris. - Doris? I don't know any Dor... 683 01:02:36,684 --> 01:02:41,638 Oh, Doris. I get it. Doris. Eleanor, you've got the wrong dump. 684 01:02:41,809 --> 01:02:45,401 - They all say that. - This time, they're telling the truth. 685 01:02:45,565 --> 01:02:48,605 - You want Felix. - You're not Felix? 686 01:02:48,768 --> 01:02:52,809 Yeah, listen, they said downstairs that Felix was up here. 687 01:02:53,050 --> 01:02:54,446 Well, he is. 688 01:02:56,688 --> 01:03:00,048 - That's Felix? - Disappointing, isn't it? 689 01:03:00,212 --> 01:03:02,283 - He sleeping? - No, he's dead. 690 01:03:02,453 --> 01:03:05,680 - Come on. - No, he passed away two weeks ago. 691 01:03:05,889 --> 01:03:11,891 But the folks here were so fond of him that we decided to have him stuffed. 692 01:03:12,096 --> 01:03:15,925 - Hell of a good job, don't you think? - Cut the crap. 693 01:03:17,853 --> 01:03:20,005 Felix Sherman? 694 01:03:20,456 --> 01:03:22,413 I think so. 695 01:03:25,853 --> 01:03:30,249 - What have I done to deserve this? - Not much, the way I heard it. 696 01:03:31,459 --> 01:03:34,765 You're not...? Are you...? 697 01:03:34,935 --> 01:03:36,415 I'm Eleanor. 698 01:03:36,576 --> 01:03:42,451 - Eleanor. Barney, this is Eleanor. - Don't touch me. I got a condition. 699 01:03:42,620 --> 01:03:44,653 Where's Doris, Eleanor? 700 01:03:44,817 --> 01:03:49,258 I got a message for you. Doris does not want to see you again. 701 01:03:49,421 --> 01:03:52,335 That's why I came. She told me to tell you... 702 01:03:52,502 --> 01:03:56,652 ...that she doesn't want to talk to you again or anything. 703 01:03:56,900 --> 01:04:01,933 Even if you should see her on the street or in a store by accident... 704 01:04:02,185 --> 01:04:07,416 ...including where she is, right this minute, which is... 705 01:04:07,663 --> 01:04:13,327 ...having a ham sandwich at Riker's on the corner of Sixth and 57th Street. 706 01:04:13,570 --> 01:04:16,527 Very good. You got it all out. 707 01:04:54,257 --> 01:04:56,930 You ran all the way, huh? 708 01:05:00,501 --> 01:05:02,696 - I was wondering... - Listen, l... 709 01:05:02,860 --> 01:05:05,293 - What were you gonna say? - Go ahead. 710 01:05:05,499 --> 01:05:09,336 I was wondering where you've been staying this past week. 711 01:05:09,502 --> 01:05:13,813 That's what I was gonna ask you. Are you still at Barney's? 712 01:05:14,020 --> 01:05:17,537 - No, I've relocated temporarily. - Same here. 713 01:05:17,782 --> 01:05:23,063 I'm staying with my friend Eleanor. She's got this place on 14th Street. 714 01:05:23,303 --> 01:05:28,298 - She seems agreeable. - Yeah, yeah. 715 01:05:28,465 --> 01:05:33,096 Doris, I have something to say to you and it concerns both of us. 716 01:05:33,305 --> 01:05:35,215 And if it's not... 717 01:05:36,184 --> 01:05:38,701 - Who was that? - Got me. 718 01:05:38,867 --> 01:05:42,225 - She said "Hello" to you. - No, she said "Woo-woo." 719 01:05:42,390 --> 01:05:46,699 - Total strangers say "Woo-woo" to you? - Not until tonight. 720 01:05:46,907 --> 01:05:50,012 - Now look, Doris... - You look lousy, you know? 721 01:05:50,175 --> 01:05:52,736 - I do? - Like you haven't been sleeping. 722 01:05:52,895 --> 01:05:56,203 - I haven't been sleeping well. - Tried hot baths? 723 01:05:56,373 --> 01:05:59,449 Yes, I have. I find hot baths too enervating. 724 01:05:59,697 --> 01:06:01,815 Enervating? 725 01:06:03,097 --> 01:06:05,211 I made you laugh. One for me. 726 01:06:05,375 --> 01:06:08,050 I want you to understand what I'm gonna say. 727 01:06:08,217 --> 01:06:11,018 I have struggled for 31 years to establish... 728 01:06:11,260 --> 01:06:13,214 - Is that how old you are? - Yes. 729 01:06:13,419 --> 01:06:16,215 I have tried to establish the supremacy... 730 01:06:16,458 --> 01:06:19,612 ...of the intellect over the physical. 731 01:06:19,821 --> 01:06:23,415 You ran all the way to Riker's just to tell me that? 732 01:06:23,620 --> 01:06:27,295 - I didn't run. I jogged. - You could have sent a letter. 733 01:06:27,461 --> 01:06:31,457 - I don't know your address. - You could've given it to Eleanor. 734 01:06:31,625 --> 01:06:34,579 I wanted to see you again. 735 01:06:36,502 --> 01:06:41,900 - I want to apologize for that night. - No, that was my fault. I got mad. 736 01:06:42,106 --> 01:06:46,062 You were justified. I had no right in asking questions... 737 01:06:46,303 --> 01:06:49,139 Sure, you did. You're a writer, aren't you? 738 01:06:49,306 --> 01:06:52,902 Writers gotta find out stuff. If you don't ask questions... 739 01:06:53,067 --> 01:06:55,534 ...how are you gonna assimilate? 740 01:06:56,906 --> 01:06:58,420 What? 741 01:06:59,108 --> 01:07:04,022 I said, if you don't ask questions, how are you going to assimilate? 742 01:07:04,227 --> 01:07:06,024 Assimilate? 743 01:07:06,506 --> 01:07:08,420 Not bad, eh? 744 01:07:09,310 --> 01:07:13,020 - You and your Vocabulary. - I got it at the corner apothecary. 745 01:07:13,191 --> 01:07:17,069 - The apothecary. - Pretty impeccable, huh? 746 01:07:17,711 --> 01:07:19,624 It's very impressive. 747 01:07:21,114 --> 01:07:25,946 I try and learn, I mean... No, I try and assimilate five new words a day. 748 01:07:26,191 --> 01:07:30,173 I figure pretty soon I'll be able to talk as good as you. 749 01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:34,416 - Wouldn't that be something? - It would be wonderful. 750 01:07:38,981 --> 01:07:43,816 It's always an advantage to be able to express yourself clearly. 751 01:07:44,020 --> 01:07:46,819 Hey, lady, want to go for a ride? 752 01:07:47,061 --> 01:07:50,454 I think it would be good for me as an actress too. 753 01:07:50,705 --> 01:07:53,661 - Yes, language... - Hey, baby, what do you say? 754 01:07:53,823 --> 01:07:57,020 Language is one of the tools of the actor's art. 755 01:07:57,183 --> 01:08:02,056 - Get rid of the four-eyed freak. - I can do things I couldn't do before... 756 01:08:02,227 --> 01:08:05,534 ...because I couldn't express myself sussintly. 757 01:08:05,784 --> 01:08:07,264 Succinctly. 758 01:08:07,425 --> 01:08:10,659 - Remember, language is power. - I'll remember that. 759 01:08:10,829 --> 01:08:16,219 - Sweetheart, we got something for you. - Would you excuse me for a moment? 760 01:08:16,386 --> 01:08:18,140 Jump in here. Come on. 761 01:08:18,388 --> 01:08:24,417 I beg your pardon, boys, but you are intruding on my privacy. 762 01:08:26,789 --> 01:08:29,829 Felix, come on! 763 01:08:59,117 --> 01:09:04,065 People are so touchy these days. You gotta watch every word. 764 01:09:04,316 --> 01:09:06,227 - What is it about you? - What? 765 01:09:06,396 --> 01:09:09,311 - Is your life always so volatile? - Who? 766 01:09:09,515 --> 01:09:11,656 Volatile. 767 01:09:12,385 --> 01:09:13,863 Volatile? 768 01:09:14,023 --> 01:09:18,064 Volatile. Here it si, here it is. 769 01:09:18,305 --> 01:09:21,664 "Explosive. Filled with energy." Yeah, I guess so. 770 01:09:21,908 --> 01:09:25,534 It's because I'm temperamental. It gets me into trouble. 771 01:09:25,704 --> 01:09:29,303 One time, I had a fight with this guy who wouldn't pay me. 772 01:09:29,508 --> 01:09:31,865 - Pay you? - It's not what you think. 773 01:09:32,070 --> 01:09:34,297 - I grabbed him by his smock... - Smock? 774 01:09:34,506 --> 01:09:37,306 - Yeah, I was... - Why was he wearing a smock? 775 01:09:37,468 --> 01:09:40,907 He didn't want to mess up his suit when he was on the floor. 776 01:09:41,112 --> 01:09:43,862 - Why was he on the floor? - So he could aim better. 777 01:09:44,029 --> 01:09:48,707 - Hold it! What was he aiming at? - At me. I'm trying to tell you. 778 01:09:48,911 --> 01:09:52,825 - Doris, I'm getting very upset. - Okay, all right! 779 01:09:52,993 --> 01:09:56,028 Oh, my God. Will you let go? 780 01:09:56,511 --> 01:10:01,670 - Jesus, you got very strong hands. - Start at the beginning, step by step. 781 01:10:01,875 --> 01:10:04,466 - It's not interesting. - I'll be the judge. 782 01:10:04,632 --> 01:10:08,184 Well, this guy, a businessman about 50 years old... 783 01:10:08,355 --> 01:10:12,237 ...with an office on Madison Avenue that's got this long hallway. 784 01:10:12,397 --> 01:10:15,467 - And? - He'd give me 50 bucks to sit... 785 01:10:15,714 --> 01:10:17,672 ...at the other end of the hall. 786 01:10:17,876 --> 01:10:21,634 - Just to sit in a chair? - Yeah, in my raincoat. 787 01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:26,508 - You sat there in your raincoat? - With my hands tied behind me. 788 01:10:26,677 --> 01:10:29,672 I see. And what was he doing? 789 01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:35,596 He was at his end of the hall on his hands and knees in his smock. 790 01:10:35,758 --> 01:10:36,953 And? 791 01:10:37,120 --> 01:10:40,877 I'd yell "Bombs away!" while he rolled hard-boiled eggs at me. 792 01:10:41,043 --> 01:10:43,033 Say that again. 793 01:10:43,202 --> 01:10:47,115 - He rolled hard-boiled eggs at me! - He rolled eggs at you? 794 01:10:47,282 --> 01:10:50,626 - Hard-boiled! It wasn't much! - That's disgusting. 795 01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:56,539 - Why? Why? - Because it's... I can't find the word. 796 01:11:04,389 --> 01:11:07,224 Hey, where are we, anyway? 797 01:11:15,512 --> 01:11:17,822 Hey, where are we? 798 01:11:19,435 --> 01:11:21,155 Who lives here? 799 01:11:21,397 --> 01:11:24,227 What is this place? Whose place is this? 800 01:11:24,393 --> 01:11:27,273 This is the house of Mr. And Mrs. Weyderhaus. 801 01:11:27,515 --> 01:11:33,035 They are the father and mother of Miss Ann Weyderhaus, a concert pianist. 802 01:11:33,277 --> 01:11:36,871 She is also my fianc�e. 803 01:11:37,036 --> 01:11:40,111 - You're getting married? - We went to school together. 804 01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:45,352 We decided we'd be married as soon as I sold my first novel. 805 01:11:46,077 --> 01:11:48,958 - When's that? - At this rate, next century. 806 01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:52,876 - Why do you say that? - Who am I to argue with publishers? 807 01:11:53,041 --> 01:11:56,635 - What do they know? - Something I don't, apparently. 808 01:11:56,800 --> 01:12:00,274 You're awful hot, you know that? How do you feel? 809 01:12:00,524 --> 01:12:04,150 - I think my hair is on fire. - You gotta go to bed. 810 01:12:04,362 --> 01:12:08,323 - Felix has to go to bed. - Don't talk weird. It scares me. 811 01:12:08,524 --> 01:12:14,871 - Felix is weird and he scares people. - Knock it off. I'll get your shoes. 812 01:12:15,203 --> 01:12:20,487 I'll tell you the trouble with Felix. Felix went to a good college... 813 01:12:20,728 --> 01:12:27,040 ...and took literature, but he didn't learn anything about hard-boiled eggs. 814 01:12:27,206 --> 01:12:30,027 Will you shut up about that? 815 01:12:30,915 --> 01:12:34,700 - Felix has forgotten how to do buttons. - Lift your legs. 816 01:12:34,872 --> 01:12:37,228 Felix will now lift his legs. 817 01:12:37,394 --> 01:12:41,948 - Is there a thermometer around here? - Bathroom. 818 01:12:42,157 --> 01:12:43,827 Point. 819 01:12:46,395 --> 01:12:49,708 Hey, are the Weyderhauses rich? 820 01:12:49,918 --> 01:12:51,399 Loaded. 821 01:12:58,318 --> 01:13:00,072 Open. 822 01:13:00,240 --> 01:13:01,833 Close. 823 01:13:06,919 --> 01:13:09,230 This her? 824 01:13:11,883 --> 01:13:14,440 Is this Miss Weyderhaus? 825 01:13:17,001 --> 01:13:19,962 She looks partially attractive. 826 01:13:20,124 --> 01:13:26,311 I can only see part of her face, but I guess she plays pretty good, huh? 827 01:13:26,483 --> 01:13:29,443 She debuted with the Boston Symphony last night. 828 01:13:29,686 --> 01:13:32,439 Is that where the family is? 829 01:13:36,685 --> 01:13:39,247 How is she in bed? 830 01:13:40,729 --> 01:13:42,958 I said, how is she in bed? 831 01:13:43,127 --> 01:13:46,323 - That is none of your business. - No good, huh? 832 01:13:46,887 --> 01:13:51,919 - Our relationship is not based on that. - What's it based on? 833 01:13:52,131 --> 01:13:55,644 A mutual appreciation of the arts and literature. 834 01:13:55,888 --> 01:13:59,042 - She doesn't want to? - Music is her whole life. 835 01:13:59,251 --> 01:14:03,006 - Gonna honeymoon at Sam Goody's? - I don't want to talk about it. 836 01:14:03,211 --> 01:14:08,890 They are very fine people. They have a very old-fashioned moral outlook. 837 01:14:09,053 --> 01:14:11,838 - I know the type. - I don't think you do. 838 01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:14,716 - You're not normal. - What do you mean? 839 01:14:14,877 --> 01:14:19,636 Look, 94. You gotta go to bed. 840 01:14:20,041 --> 01:14:23,237 - My body hates me. - Come on. 841 01:14:26,119 --> 01:14:28,636 In you go. 842 01:14:41,326 --> 01:14:45,441 - What are you going to do? - Light a fire. 843 01:14:48,205 --> 01:14:53,439 - What if my temperature goes down? - Don't worry, I'll get an ice pick. 844 01:14:55,246 --> 01:14:57,282 - Eggs. - What? 845 01:14:57,446 --> 01:15:01,045 - What does it mean? - What does what mean? 846 01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:04,319 What did you think about when he was rolling the eggs? 847 01:15:04,526 --> 01:15:09,764 The 50 bucks I was gonna get. Same thing when I did that coffin bit. 848 01:15:10,331 --> 01:15:14,368 What, I am horrified to ask, is the coffin bit? 849 01:15:14,568 --> 01:15:21,127 Well, see, I walk into this room and turn the lights on... 850 01:15:21,294 --> 01:15:25,251 ...and there's this guy lying in a coffin, you know. 851 01:15:25,491 --> 01:15:29,692 Hands folded, face all made up. Total corpse time, see? 852 01:15:29,935 --> 01:15:34,006 Suddenly, he opens his eyes and he says, "Good evening." 853 01:15:34,212 --> 01:15:39,894 And I let out a scream and that's it. 854 01:15:40,057 --> 01:15:41,537 Fifty bucks. 855 01:15:41,697 --> 01:15:45,847 Another guy wants me to wrap him in cellophane and crinkle him. 856 01:15:46,095 --> 01:15:52,035 Then there's one that likes me to watch him while he eats a cucumber. 857 01:15:52,204 --> 01:15:55,160 There's this guy who takes Polaroids of me... 858 01:15:55,402 --> 01:15:58,920 ...while this parakeet's walking around on my back. 859 01:15:59,085 --> 01:16:03,600 Doris, you're a sexual Disneyland. 860 01:16:04,443 --> 01:16:07,437 Well, it takes all kinds. 861 01:16:17,487 --> 01:16:20,050 - I'm going to L.A. - What? 862 01:16:20,210 --> 01:16:23,281 - I'm going to California. - Why? 863 01:16:24,048 --> 01:16:27,837 Well, I haven't been doing too good here, you know? 864 01:16:28,010 --> 01:16:31,926 That's where actresses should go. That's where the work is. 865 01:16:32,132 --> 01:16:35,361 Just like you stay here because you're a writer. 866 01:16:35,849 --> 01:16:40,245 - What's that got to do with it? - The city is what you write about. 867 01:16:40,414 --> 01:16:45,849 - Like in your story, Scream. - I remember how much you liked it. 868 01:16:46,132 --> 01:16:49,844 I've been thinking about it. I didn't get it at first. 869 01:16:50,096 --> 01:16:54,484 Like about the sun spitting morning. But I can really see it now. 870 01:16:54,893 --> 01:16:57,693 - You can? - Oh, yeah. Sure. 871 01:16:57,935 --> 01:17:02,409 See, the sun, like a big face... 872 01:17:02,577 --> 01:17:04,884 ...here it comes, here it comes... 873 01:17:05,056 --> 01:17:11,170 ...real slow over the edge of the world. 874 01:17:11,341 --> 01:17:17,687 And it looks out over the city and it goes: 875 01:17:23,979 --> 01:17:25,459 See what Imean? 876 01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:37,244 - What'd you do that for? - I'm not sure. 877 01:17:37,408 --> 01:17:42,246 Would you mind doing it again? I wasn't ready the first time. 878 01:17:54,091 --> 01:17:57,641 Don't unbuckle it. It snaps. 879 01:18:00,335 --> 01:18:06,203 Listen, Felix, maybe you should take it easy. Get your temperature up. 880 01:18:06,653 --> 01:18:10,046 It's going up. I can feel it. 881 01:18:10,297 --> 01:18:13,571 Yeah, but you're exhausted, remember? 882 01:18:13,734 --> 01:18:18,048 Parts of me are wide awake. 883 01:18:18,657 --> 01:18:22,856 This could be very dangerous for a person as sick as you. 884 01:18:23,057 --> 01:18:27,529 - I'm gonna stop any minute. - You do and I'll kill you. 885 01:19:10,534 --> 01:19:13,729 - Do you think she's pretty? - Who? 886 01:19:13,891 --> 01:19:17,442 Miss Weyderhaus, the concert pianist. 887 01:19:23,494 --> 01:19:27,248 - Does she have a nice body? - She's very delicate. 888 01:19:27,415 --> 01:19:30,649 - Oh, yeah? - Well, she's extremely fragile. 889 01:19:30,858 --> 01:19:33,654 She got a sticker that says, "This end up"? 890 01:19:33,856 --> 01:19:35,811 Not funny. 891 01:19:38,217 --> 01:19:40,893 You think I'm pretty? 892 01:19:43,538 --> 01:19:45,129 Yes. 893 01:19:46,938 --> 01:19:49,853 I'm not, really. I just make you think I am. 894 01:19:50,101 --> 01:19:52,057 How do you do that? 895 01:19:52,261 --> 01:19:58,576 - It's a trick. It's hard to explain. - I don't understand. 896 01:20:03,342 --> 01:20:06,777 It's kind of like acting, you know. 897 01:20:07,022 --> 01:20:10,860 I mean, you gotta act pretty. 898 01:20:12,065 --> 01:20:14,054 Watch this. 899 01:20:19,547 --> 01:20:22,857 What about now? I look pretty, right? 900 01:20:23,226 --> 01:20:27,265 - Right. - Now watch this. 901 01:20:32,429 --> 01:20:37,583 Oh, that's amazing. That's two completely different girls. 902 01:20:39,831 --> 01:20:42,664 - You're putting me on. - No, I'm not. It's fantastic. 903 01:20:44,029 --> 01:20:45,860 What are you doing? 904 01:20:46,029 --> 01:20:49,899 - I'm going to make you feel good. - I know what that is. 905 01:20:50,058 --> 01:20:53,527 - It's gonna put you in a good mood. - I don't want to. 906 01:20:53,737 --> 01:20:56,490 - Don't be such a tight-ass. - I'm not. 907 01:20:56,737 --> 01:21:00,449 I merely believe that there are certain limits. 908 01:21:01,141 --> 01:21:03,699 - I'll make you a deal. - Absolutely not. 909 01:21:03,859 --> 01:21:10,051 Listen, a couple of hits on this and I will... 910 01:21:20,825 --> 01:21:24,416 - Of course, if you're not interested... - Give me that. 911 01:21:24,582 --> 01:21:29,660 This is to demonstrate I have a freedom of choice. I'm not square. 912 01:21:29,906 --> 01:21:36,059 - I am, if I wish to be, perfectly hep. - I'm hip, you're hep. 913 01:21:51,711 --> 01:21:56,783 How are you feeling? How come you and Miss Weyderhaus don't mess around? 914 01:21:57,710 --> 01:22:00,272 I told you. 915 01:22:05,711 --> 01:22:09,023 How come you and Miss Weyderhaus don't mess around? 916 01:22:09,233 --> 01:22:11,668 I told you. 917 01:22:11,835 --> 01:22:15,142 What, she's very fragile? She's fragile, right? 918 01:22:15,313 --> 01:22:20,629 She's worried about her hands. She doesn't want to hurt her hands. 919 01:22:20,797 --> 01:22:24,264 She could wear boxing gloves. 920 01:22:25,154 --> 01:22:28,466 They're very beautiful, her hands. 921 01:22:28,957 --> 01:22:32,901 - She oils them. - She oils them? 922 01:22:33,062 --> 01:22:34,938 Like the tin woodsman? 923 01:22:35,941 --> 01:22:38,696 Exactly. To keep them supple. 924 01:22:39,824 --> 01:22:44,773 - She's an extraordinary human being. - She sounds like a drag. 925 01:22:47,344 --> 01:22:49,337 Yes, she does. 926 01:22:52,666 --> 01:22:57,866 - Is that a door? - I think that was a door. 927 01:22:58,467 --> 01:23:02,064 Did somebody come in? 928 01:23:02,748 --> 01:23:06,866 - Unless one of us went out. - Felix? 929 01:23:07,108 --> 01:23:11,344 - That is a definite person. - Correct. 930 01:23:11,551 --> 01:23:14,268 Felix, are you there? 931 01:23:15,029 --> 01:23:19,742 - You're about to meet Mrs. Weyderhaus. - Mother, is Felix here? 932 01:23:19,953 --> 01:23:23,705 - And Miss Weyderhaus. - Could we put it off for a while? 933 01:23:24,750 --> 01:23:26,184 Anyone in there? 934 01:23:26,751 --> 01:23:31,385 - They're understanding. Be yourself. - I don't have much choice. 935 01:23:32,514 --> 01:23:36,905 Mrs. Weyderhaus, this is Doris Wellington, a friend of mine. 936 01:23:37,514 --> 01:23:40,554 - Hi, Mrs. Weyderhaus. - My bed is broken and... 937 01:23:40,717 --> 01:23:44,468 Ann Weyderhaus, I'd like you to meet Doris Washington. 938 01:23:44,714 --> 01:23:49,998 Hello, Miss Weyderhaus. I've heard so much about you from Felix here. 939 01:23:50,199 --> 01:23:56,033 - What's going on? What's up in there? - Mr. Weyderhaus, allow me to... 940 01:23:56,197 --> 01:23:57,836 Doris! 941 01:23:58,679 --> 01:24:00,797 What are you doing? 942 01:24:02,840 --> 01:24:05,274 Jesus Christ! 943 01:24:05,519 --> 01:24:07,431 That's "Bombs away." 944 01:24:07,640 --> 01:24:12,099 That's the guy with the smock. You know, the hard-boiled eggs. 945 01:24:18,908 --> 01:24:23,107 Where are you rushing? Jesus, you walk so fast. 946 01:24:23,269 --> 01:24:27,023 - Where do you think you're going? - I don't know. 947 01:24:27,749 --> 01:24:33,507 - Please stop following me. - I'm not. I'm just going the same way. 948 01:24:33,670 --> 01:24:35,467 I want to be alone now. 949 01:24:35,630 --> 01:24:38,988 - Will you let me explain something? - What is it? 950 01:24:39,153 --> 01:24:42,782 You're depressed because you're not used to smoking grass. 951 01:24:42,952 --> 01:24:47,947 - Yes, doctor? - And you've come down real hard. 952 01:24:48,114 --> 01:24:51,472 The first time I got stoned I didn't feel human. 953 01:24:51,716 --> 01:24:54,466 - I felt like a cockroach. - Kafka. 954 01:24:54,633 --> 01:24:55,986 Yeah, like a Kafka. 955 01:24:56,194 --> 01:24:59,473 You never know what's gonna happen. Be careful. 956 01:24:59,717 --> 01:25:04,709 I'm going to be extra careful not to become involved in anybody's life. 957 01:25:04,955 --> 01:25:08,109 - It's not good for them or me. - What about last night? 958 01:25:08,358 --> 01:25:11,352 - What about it? - We made love. Wasn't that good? 959 01:25:11,520 --> 01:25:14,350 You're confused. That was not making love. 960 01:25:14,557 --> 01:25:20,079 - It beat the hell out of drying dishes. - What we did was to get a fast thrill. 961 01:25:20,562 --> 01:25:25,110 One time is a fast thrill. Six times is making love. 962 01:25:25,360 --> 01:25:29,116 - I'll show you what we did. Come on. - What? Felix! 963 01:25:29,283 --> 01:25:31,797 Come on, I'll show you something. Come on. 964 01:25:32,763 --> 01:25:35,435 Look. Look over there. 965 01:25:35,602 --> 01:25:39,153 That's what we did, with just as little sense or purpose. 966 01:25:39,325 --> 01:25:42,715 - Maybe that's what we're good for. - What? 967 01:25:42,884 --> 01:25:45,955 Being each other's pets. Would you enjoy that? 968 01:25:46,163 --> 01:25:49,986 - People love their pets. - You want to be my pet? 969 01:25:50,233 --> 01:25:54,667 That's not such a bad idea. You could wear a collar. 970 01:25:54,910 --> 01:25:59,669 - I'd have to lock you up at night. - I don't understand. 971 01:25:59,834 --> 01:26:04,701 I could wash and bathe you. Say, we've already done that, haven't we? 972 01:26:04,872 --> 01:26:06,943 - I could teach you tricks. - Don't. 973 01:26:07,153 --> 01:26:10,354 - You could sit up, play dead. - You're scaring me. 974 01:26:10,517 --> 01:26:14,747 What about retrieving? That's easy. Retrieving is an easy one. 975 01:26:14,914 --> 01:26:16,951 - Stop it! - Here's a stick. 976 01:26:17,155 --> 01:26:21,152 - Stop it, Felix. - Stick. There's the stick. Okay, fetch. 977 01:26:21,359 --> 01:26:24,154 Fetchc! Go ahead, fetch! 978 01:26:24,516 --> 01:26:26,553 - That's too tough? - Stop it! 979 01:26:26,757 --> 01:26:29,957 Let's start simple. Give me your paw. 980 01:26:30,160 --> 01:26:35,279 - I don't know what you want. - Be a good girl and give me your paw. 981 01:26:35,439 --> 01:26:40,197 - I assimilated impeccable. - Good trick. I'm teaching you another. 982 01:26:40,403 --> 01:26:43,552 I'm gonna have to send you to obedience school. 983 01:26:43,721 --> 01:26:46,519 - Give me your paw. - Why are you doing this? 984 01:26:46,681 --> 01:26:50,279 Pets do as they're told, otherwise they are given away. 985 01:26:50,525 --> 01:26:54,071 Want me to give you to some family who'll beat you? 986 01:26:54,282 --> 01:26:57,161 Just don't stand there, give me your paw. 987 01:26:57,364 --> 01:27:01,155 - Lf I do, will you quit? - We make no deals with pets! 988 01:27:01,326 --> 01:27:05,682 I'm warning you, this is your last chance. Give me your paw. 989 01:27:39,679 --> 01:27:41,671 Hey, Felix? 990 01:27:44,277 --> 01:27:49,674 - My name is not Felix. - What'd you say? I didn't hear you. 991 01:27:50,161 --> 01:27:54,356 - My name is not Felix. - I don't get you. 992 01:27:54,519 --> 01:27:57,080 My name is Fred. 993 01:27:58,041 --> 01:28:01,922 The person you are staring at is Fred Sherman. Not Felix. 994 01:28:02,163 --> 01:28:04,880 Fred. Short for Frederick. 995 01:28:05,121 --> 01:28:07,921 Like Washington, Wellington and Waverly... 996 01:28:08,163 --> 01:28:12,681 ...Felix is one more pompous notion, one more hopeless pretence. 997 01:28:12,884 --> 01:28:14,680 F is for Fred. 998 01:28:14,923 --> 01:28:20,126 It stands for fake and fraud and... 999 01:28:20,287 --> 01:28:22,356 Phoney? 1000 01:28:22,766 --> 01:28:26,725 And failure. Right, that's what it really stands for... 1001 01:28:26,886 --> 01:28:29,722 ...the good old American failure story. 1002 01:28:29,929 --> 01:28:32,159 - Oh, Felix. - Fred, goddamn it. 1003 01:28:32,328 --> 01:28:36,445 Give me a chance! I can't just assimilate Fred all of a sudden. 1004 01:28:36,608 --> 01:28:40,286 Stop using words you don't understand. Use words indigenous to you. 1005 01:28:40,451 --> 01:28:42,646 You stop using words I don't understand... 1006 01:28:42,810 --> 01:28:46,883 ...then maybe I'll understand what I'm not supposed to understand. 1007 01:28:47,570 --> 01:28:50,371 Where you going? Huh? 1008 01:28:54,410 --> 01:28:57,006 What'd you do that for? 1009 01:28:57,252 --> 01:29:01,373 - It was either him or me. - What? That was your typewriter! 1010 01:29:01,575 --> 01:29:04,167 The son of a bitch was trying to kill me. 1011 01:29:04,372 --> 01:29:06,603 Who was? What are you talking about? 1012 01:29:06,774 --> 01:29:09,523 Somebody tell me what he's talking about. 1013 01:29:09,727 --> 01:29:14,191 Don't turn around. Just stand there. Stand there and count to 50. 1014 01:29:14,399 --> 01:29:15,594 Do what I say! 1015 01:29:21,644 --> 01:29:23,917 Just keep counting. 1016 01:29:32,525 --> 01:29:35,561 Now listen very carefully. 1017 01:29:35,765 --> 01:29:39,807 My name is Fred. Fred Sherman. 1018 01:29:40,048 --> 01:29:42,356 What's your name? 1019 01:29:43,606 --> 01:29:44,801 Doris. 1020 01:29:45,046 --> 01:29:47,720 - Doris what? - Doris Waverly. 1021 01:29:47,928 --> 01:29:52,082 I'm sorry. I didn't hear that. Let me ask you again. 1022 01:29:52,329 --> 01:29:54,557 What is your name? 1023 01:29:57,329 --> 01:30:00,165 - Doris... - Yes? 1024 01:30:01,452 --> 01:30:03,566 Watch it. 1025 01:30:04,970 --> 01:30:07,485 Yes? Yes? 1026 01:30:07,731 --> 01:30:10,567 - Wilgus? - Wilgus! 1027 01:30:10,774 --> 01:30:14,400 What a nice name! It's very real. 1028 01:30:14,651 --> 01:30:17,372 Yeah, it's that all right. 1029 01:30:17,613 --> 01:30:20,449 I work in a bookstore. I'm a clerk. 1030 01:30:20,656 --> 01:30:23,487 I'm in line for the assistant managership. 1031 01:30:23,734 --> 01:30:26,692 - No kidding? - Yeah. Well, I work nights. 1032 01:30:26,935 --> 01:30:30,010 I thought I'd spend my day looking for an apartment. 1033 01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:33,407 That's a coincidence. I don't live anyplace either. 1034 01:30:33,576 --> 01:30:37,969 - What do you do? - I'm a model and an actress. 1035 01:30:45,258 --> 01:30:48,377 But I was formerly a hooker. 1036 01:30:50,247 --> 01:30:52,476 I was also in two TV commercials. 1037 01:30:52,685 --> 01:30:55,961 I thought you looked familiar. 1038 01:30:56,165 --> 01:31:00,765 I'm very pleased to actually meet you, Miss Wilgus. 1039 01:31:00,970 --> 01:31:04,561 Very nice to meet you, Fred. 1040 01:31:18,411 --> 01:31:23,280 Actually, it was only one commercial. 1041 01:31:23,531 --> 01:31:25,964 You still love me? 1042 01:31:26,771 --> 01:31:29,607 We might even find a place with a TV set. 1043 01:31:29,854 --> 01:31:32,209 - I never watch TV. - Really? 1044 01:31:32,414 --> 01:31:36,088 Yeah. It's too goddamn enervating. 1045 01:32:30,692 --> 01:32:31,680 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 1046 01:32:34,680 --> 01:32:38,680 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com 87457