All language subtitles for The Neighborhood s02e10_English

Thanks again for
having us over, Tina.

Yeah, the chicken
and dumplings are delicious.

Aren't they, Grover?

Wow, that isinteresting.

So I had to turn off
my football game for dinner,

but the kid gets to play
world wide webs?

Dad, the "world wide webs,"

or as people under a hundred
call it, the Internet...

...is not a game. It's-it's a,
it's a global network...

Marty... you're
talking to Pop.

The clock is still flashing
12:00 on his VCR.

Which still has a tape of Beverly Hills Cop
stuck in it.

[chuckles]

You know what?
That was due back in 1997.

Good thing Blockbuster
went out of business, huh?

[all chuckling]

Grover, Mr. Calvin's right.

Didn't we agree
no screens at the table?

Yeah, I wasn't really sure
where we landed on that.

So, Calvin, it looks like your
auto shop has some competition.

I saw a new Motor Boys
opened up down the block.

[scoffs] Please.

Some generic chain
with a stupid jingle? [chuckles]

I think it's catchy.

♪ Car or truck,
you're in luck, with the ♪

♪ Motor Boys. ALL: Beep! Beep!

[all chuckling]

Why don't you all go "beep-beep"
yourselves, all right?

Whoa!

Motor Boys
has a really cool website.

Grover! Didn't I just say
no screens at the table?

Oh, so we are
going with that.

You know,

business has slowed down
since they opened up.

Maybe we should think about
updating our shop.

Oh, I could upgrade
your computer system.

Automate your payroll.

Maybe make
you a website

that's not just
a picture of you

laying across the
hood of a Corvette?

While you're at it,
will you fix his e-mail?

I send him stuff all the time.

[chuckling]:
I never get a reply.

Yeah, that's weird, huh?

So what do
you say, Calvin?

Can Marty help us out?

Why not?
You can come in tomorrow.

And I'll start working
on a jingle for you.

Ooh, great.
E-mail it to me.

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood.

So what goes down at an
overnight teachers' retreat?

Oh, we have so much fun.

PowerPoint presentations,
course lectures,

and-- wait for it--

we all come home
with a huge binder!

My God, I married
the world's hottest nerd.

[chuckling]

All right, sweetie,
be good for Dad.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I don't know.
Probably in my room?

You know what? You've been
on that thing a lot.

Why don't we take a little
screen break for a few days?

A few days?
That's so unfair.

No, come on.
It's a good thing.

Look, you can play
outside, climb some trees,

ride your bike around.

Okay, if I say I'm sorry,
can I not do any of that?

All right, sweetie, I got to go.
Give me a hug.

I'll miss you, Mom.

So, so...I'm with Dad.

Bye.
Cheer up.

You're gonna
have so much fun.

It's gonna be great.

It's gonna be terrible.

What are you talking about?

I have tried
the "no screens" thing before,

and it always ends
in tears and tantrums.

Well, if he throws a tantrum,

I will deal with it.

I was talking about me.

You've just committed
yourself to 48 hours of:

"Dad. Dad.

Dad. Dad."

And I will
come back with,

"What's up? I'm here.

Let's rage."

[chuckling]: Ho-ho.
Oh, don't worry.

There will be rage.

You know, I'm starting
to get the feeling

that you don't think
I can do this.

Don't take this the wrong
way, but if Icouldn't,

you definitely can't.

Ho-ho! Really?

Well, what you don't realize
is I have something you don't.

The mind of
an eight-year-old boy.

Finally, something we agree on.

Okay. We're off
to a great start.

The TV in your waiting room
now gets more than one channel.

Oh, great.
How did you do that?

Well, not to get
too technical,

but I put new batteries
in the remote.

The remote? Calvin,
you told me it was stolen.

Yeah.

Uh, looks like
I fired Eduardo for nothing.

Well, thanks for your help, man.

Be sure to treat yourself
to a hard candy on the way out.

Calvin, look. You may not
want Marty's help,

but as the person who keeps
the books around here, I do.

Well, fine. We're watching
Beverly Hills Cop IItonight.

That's right. I used a
butter knife to get Part Iout.

Okay, Marty, what's next?

Well, let's take a look at
how you organize your invoices.

Oh. Okay, everything's
stored right over here.

Oh, file cabinet.
Old school.

Nike.

So, that's August 2012.

This is how you
keep your records?

How do you
keep anything organized?

These are
barely receipts.

"Herman, $200"?
What'd you do for Herman?

It says it right here.

$200 worth of work.

Yeah, but,

but what specifically
did you do?

Well, if you
want to know that,

then we gonna
have to call Eduardo.

How do you say,

"Oops, my bad"
in Spanish?

That was so much fun.
What's next?

Grover. We just did mini-golf,
batting cages,

we even went to the dog park.

We don't have a dog.

Aren't you tired?

Not at all.

Ooh. I thought all that fetching
would tire you out.

So, now what?

How about this?

How about we take
a five-minute break

so Dad can rest his eyes?

Okay.

Whew...

How will I know
when it's been five minutes?

I'll tell you.

How will youknow?

Buddy...

look around you. You
have all these toys.

You've got a
big backyard.

You've got a
room upstairs.

Can you really find noway
to entertain yourself?

I have an idea.Oh, good.

Screen time!

Grover!
Drop it!

Bad boy!

Sorry.
I'm still in dog park mode.

Listen. Come
here, buddy.

It would make
my life...

[chuckles]
so much easier

if I gave this to you.

I don't know, Dad.

Trust your instincts.

But Mom doesn't think that we
can go a few days without it.

And I want to prove
to her that we can.

Which is why...

you're not gonna tell her
that I'm gonna let you

play with this
for a few minutes.

Yes!

But remember,
we're not telling Mom.

Mom who?Oh...

Okay, Dad. I just finished
setting up your new system.

This tablet controls
all your scheduling,

estimates
and service notes.

Does it have
Angry Birdson there?

'Cause I love pissing off
them uppity pigs.

Hey, Calvin.

Hey, what's up, Roy?

I got a text
saying my car was ready.

I didn't text you.

Uh, no.
But your new system did.

I programmed it so when
a customer's car is ready,

they get a notification.

I didn't ask you to do all that.

I'm not sure I'm
comfortable with my shop

making its own
booty calls.

Dad, trust me.
This is gonna make your business

more efficient. See, customers
will be automatically billed,

the payments go directly
into your account,

and you don't have to call them
when their car is ready.

Wait a minute.
So I get my money faster?

And I don't have to talk
to chatterboxes like Roy?

Hey.

Roy, please.
I know more about your prostate

than the doctor
who gave you the exam.

So what
do you say, Dad?

You want to give it
a shot?

Why not?

All right, great!
You'll see.

This is gonna
make you leaner,

meaner and rolling
in the greener.

[chuckles]

Boy, you may be smart, but
you couldn't wrap a burrito.

Thanks for letting me have
screen time again today, Dad.

I don't know,
maybe spaghetti?

[car door closes, alarm chirps]

Uh-oh. Mom.
Mom's home.

Uh, quick, hide this.

Okay, but you hide this.

Hey, guys.Oh, hey, Gem.
How was the retreat?

Did you get your binder?

I got two!

Oh.

Wow. It looks like
you two are having fun.

[chuckles]
You bet your binders we are.

[chuckles]

You know, I'm gonna take
this magazine to read upstairs.

It's got something
really interesting in it.

So, how long before you
gave him his screen back?

Because if it was
under two hours,

the choir teacher
owes me a hundred bucks.

Well, I hate to disappoint you,

but... we made it
the whole time.

Really?

Yup.

And no tantrums?

Not him. Not me.

Wow. I'm impressed.

Well, Gem, what you have
to understand is...

...I'm kind of a Dad-ass.

Come on, Calvin,
what's taking so long?

I got a text an hour ago
that said my car was ready.

Yeah, and you texted me
a selfie.

Everybody
just calm down.

I'm gonna get
to y'all in a minute.

And you, you delete
that picture.

I don't know you like that.

All right. Okay,
I opened the customer profile,

swiped to the diagnostic menu,

clicked "payment."[phone chimes]

You just texted me
another selfie. [laughs]

Hey, Dad.
I just got your message.

What's the problem?I'm gonna tell you
what the problem is.

Your stupid system got me
sending pictures to dudes!

Okay. There's nothing wrong
with the system.

You must've made a mistake.You know, the only mistake

I made was letting you
come up in here

and mess up my business.

Dad, calm down,
man, I'll fix it.

No. I think you've fixed enough.

I'm just trying
to help you.

You want to help?
Get out of my shop,

and take this thing
with you.

Fine. You don't want my help?
Stay stuck in the past.

[chuckles] You don't even know
what you're talking about.

I'm not stuck
in the past.

All right,
y'all sit tight.

I'm gonna go in here
and check my shoebox file.

There you go, baby.Oh, thank you.
[chuckles]

Hey, I'm surprised
Marty's not here.

He loves your waffles.

He's not coming. He texted to
say he's too mad at your father.

Oh. Well, that's too bad.

He don't know what he's missing,

but, uh, he's about to.

Ooh. Waffles.

Hey.

Those are my waffles.

How could you treat
Marty like that?

He was just trying to help.

Well, all he did was make
things more complicated.

By the time I figured out
how to charge Mrs. Perkins

for her oil change, she
was due for another one.

Yeah, Pop, if you're
not gonna upgrade,

how do you expect
to compete with Motor Boys?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

You know, I spent
all night coming up

with a brilliant
marketing strategy

that is gonna bring in
tons of new business.

Holla!

Free tune-ups?
How can we afford to do that?

Oh, it's easy.
Just read the fine print.

"One free tune-up
after 15 at full price.

Offer good for one week only"?

That's pretty slick, huh?

[chuckles]
Believe what I tell you,

Motor Boys is going down.

So, that's your big plan?

You gonna beat Motor Boys
by standing on the corner

and spinning that sign?

No. You are.

[knocking on door]

Oh, hey, Gemma.
What's up?

Not much. Just running some
errands, doing some shopping,

wondering if I'm a terrible mom.

What?

Let me ask you something.Mm-hmm?

Do you ever feel like Calvin's
a better parent than you?

[laughs]

Girl, please. Right now he has
one son that's not talking

to him and the other that's out
working the street corner.

Sit down. Tell me
what's going on.

Dave decided no screens
for Grover while I was gone,

and it went great.

But every time I've tried,
it's been a disaster.

Oh, no. I'm sure
it wasn't that bad.

Last time, I was so worn out,
I told Grover

it was daylight savings
and sent him to bed at 3:00.

[chuckles]
Well, girl, that's nothing.

Back when the boys were younger,
we used to play hide-and-seek.

And the boys would search
around the house for an hour,

while I'd be napping in the car.[chuckles]

Well, Dave doesn't
need any naps.

Grover hasn't had a screen
in almost three days,

and he hasn't broken a sweat.

Three days, huh?

Hmm. Well, then, why are

Grover and I playing
Words with Friendsright now?

Unbelievable.

I know. What kind
of freaky eight-year-old

knows the word "cacophony"?

Hey, Calvin's Pit Stop.

We got free tune-ups.

Well, kind of.

Malcolm, what the hell, man?

You've been out here,
like, two hours

and not a single new customer's
come into the shop.

How is that my fault?
Look, nobody's paying attention.

That's 'cause you're
spinning the sign wrong.

Look, you need to put
some stank on it.

Pop, the sign
is not the problem.

If you want to help
your business,

you need to listen to Marty.

Oh...And maybe apologize to him
while you're at it.

He needs to be apologizing to me
for messing up my shop.

Now give me this. Let me
show you how to do this, man.

You got to get down with it.
See that? Look at that.

Look at that-- spin that.
Whoo!

Look at that. Look at that.

For example,
see, check this out.

[shouting]

[exhales sharply]
Whoa! I killed it right there.

Look at that.
Back at it, back around.

Up, up, you flip it, then you,
like, ride it. Like that.

Look at that.
[grunts]

I killed that. You like that?

Check this out
right here.

[shouts]Oh...

[horn honks, tires screech]

[car crashes, alarm sounds]

You know what? On second
thought, maybe it's a good time

to talk to Marty.
Yeah.

[door opens]

Quick, Mom's home.

Oh, what's that, bud?

I'm the best dad of all time?

Come here.

Oh, hey, Gem,
I didn't see you there.

Hmm. You probably didn't hear me
come in with all the noise.

Some might call it a cacophony.

I'll be upstairs.

So, what'd you two
do while I was gone?

Well, all kinds of stuff.

We built Legos, read books,
played board games.

Really? Which ones?

Sorry? Risk? Trouble?

You know, all of them.

[tablet chimes]

What was that?

[chuckles]

It sounds like, uh,
my toast is ready.

[chuckles] Ooh, I could go
for some toast right now.

Ooh.

Darn it. You know,
I forgot to put the bread in.

[tablet chimes]

[gasps]

Well, look at that. Grover was
playing Wordswith Tina.

What?

When did he-- Huh.

That little stinker.

Dave, give it up.
I know you gave him screen time.

Okay.

You're right. Sorry.

It's just that when you said
that I couldn't do it,

it made me want to do it.

And then when I was doing it,
I realized I couldn't do it.

And your solution
was to lie to me?

You made me feel
like a terrible mom.

You are not a terrible mom.
You're a great mom.

Uh-- You're the best mom.

Sometimes I wish
you were my mom.

Well, then, why didn't
you just tell me the truth?

Well, because I was
disappointed with myself.

And I really liked you thinking
that I was this amazing dad.

You are an amazing dad.

But parenting is hard.

And us not being honest with
each other just makes it harder.

I know. I'm sorry.

But I think you're right.
Grover probably

does need to spend
less time on screens.

Well, what do you think?
Like, an hour a day?

That sounds about right.

GROVER:
How about two?

How about I put you
to bed at 3:00 again?

GROVER:
I knew that wasn't
daylight savings.

[laser sounds over headset]

Ha, ha! Nice try, aliens.

You thought you were slick, but
there is a new Galactic Sheriff

in town, and his name is-- Oh!

I died.

[knocking on door]

Who is it?

Hey, M-Marty, look,
I came by just to, uh...

What are you doing?

Playing a video game.

Really? 'Cause you look
like Ray Charles trying to ski.

Look, I get it.
You think technology is stupid.

But I'm kind of
in the middle of something,

so feel free to grab
a hard candy on your way out.

Okay.

CALVIN:
Whoa.

MARTY:
Dad? Is that you?

What is all this
stupid space crap?

It's you.

Hey, look, son...

Dad, if you want to talk,
you got to shoot some aliens.

There's a button on
your right controller...

Whoa, you really seem to know

what you're doing
with that blaster.

Of course I do.

I'm from the streets, Marty.

So, now what?

Well, we want to take cover

before more Kurblock drones
find us.

Follow me.

So, son, about
what happened at the shop,

I know you were
only trying to help,

but all your new technology
is too much change for me.

Look out. Laser arrows!

[laser sounds]

Damn, these Kurblocks
don't play.

Look, I know change
is hard for you,

but I've seen you do
it plenty of times.

First you resist,
but once you buy in,

you wonder what
took you so long.Like when?

Like when you refused to
give up your flip phone.

[chuckles]
I loved that thing.

When you slammed it shut, people
knew you hung up on their ass.

Yeah, but when you finally
got your smartphone,

you realized how
much better it was.

And how about when Mom
wanted to get a new mattress

but you didn't want
memory foam?

I didn't like the idea of my bed

remembering what I did
in it the night before.

Yeah, but what happened that
first night you slept on it?

[chuckles]
It was great.

I slept so hard my left arm
didn't wake up for a week.

Exactly. I'm telling you,

if you give this
new system a chance,

you're gonna pick it up
faster than you think.

Maybe you're right.

I am one of the smartest people
I know.

See? No one believes
in you more than you.

Thanks, son. Come on.

Bring it in.

Oh, Dad, look out!

[laser sounds]

Kurblock, please.

Whoo!

MARTY:
And that's why, in the year
3215, the Galactic Assembly

exiled the Vortulons from
the Andromeda Compact.

Although, there were
some economic factors

that played into...CALVIN: Marty.

What part of "the streets"
don't you get?

I'm just here
to blast these fools.

DAVE:
Oh, hey, guys.

Dave? Are you in
Marty's apartment, too?

[chuckles]
No, I'm at Best Buy.

Now that I'm back on screens,
I'm checking out VR headsets.

Wait your turn, kid.

Well, since you're here,

you want to help us
take out some aliens?

Actually, I came
for a new vacuum.

What do you guys think?
Do I go modern upright

or classic canister?

Or, and I'm just playing
devil's advocate here, Roomba?

Dave, watch out!
Incoming!

I don't see anybody.

I was talking about me.

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