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00:00:01,479 --> 00:00:03,438
ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, before social media,
2
00:00:03,481 --> 00:00:05,092
the only way
to show off your family
3
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,876
was with your annual
holiday card.
4
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:08,660
Yep. Matching sweaters
and smiles
5
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:10,967
sent to family and friends
near and far.
6
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,187
My mom always had
a strong opinion.
7
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:16,146
Who takes a picture
in a field of cornflowers?
8
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:18,322
We all know this is the park
behind the interstate.
9
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,672
No one thinks
you have a summer home.
10
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:23,327
I'm gonna regret this,
but they seem pretty happy.
11
00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,242
Well, so do lobsters
before you boil them.
12
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:26,722
Who's boiling
a lobster?
13
00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,158
Everyone,
shut your nog holes!
14
00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:29,768
Look at the Kremps'
Christmas card.
15
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:31,292
[ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYS]
16
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,598
POPS: They're literally
glowing.
17
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:36,601
They look like the Kennedys...
But with no Teds.
18
00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:39,039
These beautiful blond turds
are not gonna outdo me
this year.
19
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,605
Uh-uh. No.
20
00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:43,608
The Goldbergs are having
a professional
holiday photo taken.
21
00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:45,175
Nah.
No "nah."
22
00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:47,569
You can't "nah."
I "nah" your "nah."
23
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:50,311
Murray's right.
You can't just force us
to take a photo
24
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:53,618
out of some sort of
vindictive personal
jealousy.
25
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,533
That's why all photos
are taken.
26
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,318
Except you're forgetting
one thing.
27
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,798
ADULT ADAM:
Yep. We had our own
crazy holiday cards.
28
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:02,192
But the matching outfits and
stupid poses hid the fact
29
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:04,368
that every single session
was torture.
30
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:06,153
It looks like a yearbook
for an insane asylum.
31
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,111
Ha!
He got you good, Bevy.
32
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,244
Hey, kid, I like
having you around.
33
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,854
Thanks, I guess.
I'm your son
who lives here,
34
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,334
so it's a little weird.
35
00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:14,944
No, no, no.
The full package.
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00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,772
No expenses spared.
[CHUCKLES] All right.
37
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:17,903
[TELEPHONE CLACKS]
38
00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,123
I booked studio time.
Yay!
39
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,343
Damn it!
Why'd I choose
to have a family?
40
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,475
[DOOR OPENS]
Guess who's home
for winter break!
41
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,303
It's Erica,
and she brought me
and laundry.
42
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:27,957
Yep, I'm back,
and it's time
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00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,785
not to reconnect
or catch up at all.
44
00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,656
I'm just gonna sleep
and do nothing.
45
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,571
Not nothing,
'cause Mom's making us
take a family photo.
46
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,269
Oh, no.
47
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,227
You never saw me!
[DOOR CLOSES]
48
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:41,057
'Tis the season to
pre-treat some stains
for my lady love.
49
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,059
You need to do some
self-reflecting, kid.
50
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,061
Oh, I'm going down!
51
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,019
♪ I'm twisted up inside
52
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,718
♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say
53
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,418
♪ I don't know the future
54
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:58,379
♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
55
00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:00,424
ADULT ADAM:
It was December 11th,
1980-something,
56
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:01,904
and the JTP were
preparing
57
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,341
for their first holiday
together as roommates.
58
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:05,777
GEORGE: Merry Christmas!
59
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:07,649
Merry Christmas, George!
Merry Christmas!
60
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:09,651
I love
It's a Wonderful Life.
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00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,131
It reminds me
it is a wonderful life.[DOOR OPENS]
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00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,436
ADULT ADAM:
Of course, one roommate
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00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,177
didn't quite have
the holiday spirit.
64
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:17,006
Turn the black-and-white
nonsense off.
65
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:19,400
I demand we watch
a true holiday classic...
66
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,097
Lone Wolf McQuade.
67
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,359
Is that even
a holiday movie?
68
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,665
Totally.
69
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:26,320
It stars a jolly bearded man,
Chuck Norris,
70
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,974
who delivers joy to children
by killing drug kingpins.
71
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,367
So, that's a no.
72
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:31,847
Time to kick our eyes
with some action.
73
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:34,850
Human remote!
74
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,852
[EXHALES SHAKILY]
That was my copy of
Lone Wolf McQuade.
75
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:39,071
Uh, we've been talking
and feel you could
76
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,683
be a little more...
Respectful of our stuff.
77
00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:44,164
When am I disrespectful,
stupid Matt Bradley?
78
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,427
For instance, you constantly
use my toothbrush.
79
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,863
To clean the shower,
so you're welcome.
80
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:48,994
And every time
I get home from work,
81
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:50,170
you "ninja surprise" me
82
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,823
with a bo staff
to the belly.
83
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:52,998
I thought
you were a burglar.
84
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,435
Six times?
85
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,045
And you ate
my allergy medicine.
86
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:57,481
I regret that one.
Tasted real bad.
87
00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,048
So, you're gonna
change your ways
88
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,136
and become
a better roommate?
89
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,703
Over some ticky-tack stuff,
90
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,183
like wearing your shirts
91
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,315
and socks and underwear?
What?
92
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:06,882
Plus, when we talk,
you always interrupt...
93
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,318
Silence, okay?
94
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:10,451
You've made
your mediocre case, JTP,
95
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,714
and since it's the season
of forgiveness,
96
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,716
you'll be happy to know
I forgive you
97
00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:17,197
for attacking me
in my own home.
98
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,590
I apologize for using
this language,
99
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,940
but Barry's
a crummy roommate.
100
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,464
It's like no matter
what we say,
101
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:24,987
he still wears
our underwear.
102
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,771
Tasty needs to be stopped.
103
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,339
ADULT ADAM:
As the JTP wished
Barry would chill out,
104
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,428
my mom was firing up
the Festival of Lights.
105
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:32,690
And amen.
106
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,736
[BLOWS]
107
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,912
We just had to sit through
all that Hebrew jibber-jabber.
108
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:38,348
Now where's our presents?
109
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,263
Gotta start off Hanukkah
with a bang.
110
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,222
Tube socks! Tube socks!
Tube socks!
111
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:45,355
Hoo! These stripey bad boys
will fit in all my shoes.
112
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,923
As your romantic partner,
the sock excitement
isn't working for me.
113
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,229
I'm gonna do better.
114
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:52,101
Now we discuss
the most important part
about Hanukkah.
115
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:53,276
Our people's struggle?
116
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,322
Boring!
Our family photo.
117
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:56,758
That's still a thing
we're doing?
118
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:59,717
Let these impossibly
colorful sweaters
be my answer.
119
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:00,849
Socks and a sweater!
120
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,372
It's no big deal.
121
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:05,636
No way am I squeezing
into this itchy yarn vomit.
122
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,029
I think
it's beautiful.
123
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,596
Not just the sweaters,
but the fact
124
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:09,988
that you're including me
in your holiday card.
125
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,294
Yeah, that's not
what's happening here.
126
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,253
Geoff,
that's Barry's sweater.Oh.
127
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,124
But since you have it on,
could you do me a favor
128
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,865
and do something
punchy and kicky
129
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:19,302
so I can see if it
has enough elasticity
for my hyper monkey?
130
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,436
What is that?
131
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,264
Okay, well, clearly,
you're not into it,
132
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,353
so why don't you
just take it off,
and I'll put it on the dog.
133
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,442
Sure.
134
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:30,270
Well, I hope you guys
enjoy your...
135
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,054
Family photo.
136
00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:33,577
Erica, I think
your boyfriend wants
137
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,753
to be in our family
for some reason.
138
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,233
That makes me sad.
139
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,930
It makes us all sad,
buddy.
140
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,717
Dude,
my mom's down there
trying to talk Pops
141
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,806
into being the top
of our human pyramid.
142
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:46,155
Is this really
what you want
to be a part of?
143
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,591
I'm not married
to a pyramid,
144
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:48,897
but some sort of
people-stacking
with your family
145
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,594
is what I want.
146
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:51,943
I mean, we've been dating
for years now,
147
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:53,293
and I'm with your family
all the time,
148
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:54,642
and now we're
living together.
149
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:57,819
That last thing being
our very carefully
guarded secret.
150
00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,561
I know.
And it might be corny,
but it's what I want.
151
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,607
Geoff, you're such a sweet
and sensitive boy,
152
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:06,306
which is why I say this
in the gentlest way possible.
153
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:07,568
Don't be a [BLEEP] idiot.
[GASPS]
154
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,526
Not in front of
Bear-rah Fawcett!Okay.
155
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:10,788
[BEAR THUDS]
156
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,964
You need to accept
it's not gonna happen.
157
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:14,705
Why not?
It's my parents.
158
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:16,664
They're just old-fashioned
that way.
159
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:18,274
Well, then I guess I'll just
have to get your family
160
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,320
to see what
they're missing out on.
My Geoffer-vescence.
161
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,582
Super bubbly.
162
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,497
But it's best
to just sit this one out.
163
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,673
But that photo pyramid
sounds so fun.
164
00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:28,763
I just want so badly
to be under your dad
or on top of your grandpa.
165
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:30,852
[GAGS]
166
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,810
I-I know
you don't know why,
167
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:36,379
but we are not gonna
kiss for a while.
168
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,903
ADULT ADAM: While Geoff was stressing out he couldn't be in the picture,
169
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:41,863
Dave Kim and I were relaxing with a neighborhood stroll...
170
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:43,168
Until this happened.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
171
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,127
[TIRES SCREECH]
172
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:46,389
[SCREAMING]
173
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:50,828
Tell no one,
or I'll erase your bloodline!
174
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,221
[TIRES SQUEAL]
175
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:53,440
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
176
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,920
[SCREAMING] Oh!
177
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,661
Holy crap!
178
00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,794
Why'd you guys snatch me
off the street like that?
179
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,012
What a rush!
180
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,449
Now I get why
kidnappers like this.
181
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:03,754
Super awesome
and dramatic, right?
182
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,626
Again, why am I here?
183
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:07,454
Well, we figured
you lived with Barry
184
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:09,107
your whole life
basically problem-free.
185
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,109
And since you know
how to handle him
better than anybody,
186
00:06:11,153 --> 00:06:13,111
we thought you'd
have some suggestions
on how to prank him.
187
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,462
You couldn't have
just lobbed in a phone call?
188
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:16,854
Gah!
189
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,682
[SIGHS] Fine.
190
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,162
Tell me how bad
you wanna hurt him.
191
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,338
Well, he's rude,
inconsiderate,
and destructive.
192
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,906
He did unspeakable things
in my BVDs.Say no more.
193
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,603
He soggied
my cotton bottoms.
194
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,039
What part of "no more"
don't you understand?
195
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,867
He freckled
my Fruit of the Looms.I get it.
196
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,173
He skidded my scanties!
197
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,088
I have a full picture!
198
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,264
Just take away the thing
Barry loves most.
199
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:36,352
Caramel?
Knock-knock jokes?
200
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,702
Apples with caramel?
For sure caramel.
201
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:42,010
But more specifically,
himself.
202
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:43,707
Oh, nice.
Of course.
203
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,100
Could you be
even more specific?
204
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,231
Yeah.
Yeah.
205
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,581
Barry's ego is so big.
206
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,583
If you want
to get back at him,
207
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:50,671
make him feel like
he doesn't matter.
208
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:52,716
You mean erase him
from existence,
209
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,239
like George Bailey in
It's a Wonderful Life.
210
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,632
Yeah.
211
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:56,807
ADULT ADAM:
And so, the next day,
212
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:59,723
the JTP played
the meanest prank ever...
213
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,116
They pretended Barry
didn't exist.
214
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:03,248
BARRY: Morning, JTP.
215
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:06,513
Who wants to start this day
by tossing this bowling ball
I found off the roof?
216
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,036
Can we help you,
stranger?
217
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,168
You seem to have wandered
into the wrong house.
218
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,301
Don't be stupid,
stupid Matt Bradley.
It's me.
219
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:13,476
And you are...
220
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,564
What?
221
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,871
It's me. Big Tasty.
222
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:19,090
Your charismatic
and angry leader
223
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,701
who doesn't like
to be questioned
224
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,137
before his morning
Hawaiian Punch.
225
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,965
Take it easy, okay?
226
00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,445
W-We just
don't know you.
227
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,578
Of course you do,
you ship-in-a-bottle
captain, Andy.
228
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,058
Look at the photo of us
inside the...
229
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,321
♪♪
230
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:34,541
What? Where's my gorgeous face
and rugged features?
231
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:37,369
Not in that picture
of the J.A.G...
232
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,154
The Jenkintown
Association of Guys.
233
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,851
J.A.G.
234
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,374
ALL: J.A.G.!
235
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,507
Hello, male peers
and roommates.
236
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,423
I live here.
This is my beloved home.
237
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,381
Johnny Atkins isn't a part
of our friend group.
238
00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:50,861
He's more than
just a part of it.
239
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,863
He's our emotionally
in-control leader.
240
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:55,344
This is my beloved home.
I live here.
241
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,782
I demand you explain what
is happening right now, JTP.
242
00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:01,089
What's happening is,
we don't know who you are,
243
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:03,134
and you're not demonstrating
the calm and cool
244
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:04,875
the J.A.G.
is known for.
245
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,790
Oh, my God.
[SIGHS]
246
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,183
There's only one explanation
for this.
247
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,880
You realize
the error of your ways
248
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,360
and you're ready
to treat your roommates
249
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,622
with kindness and respect?
250
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,232
I've been erased
from history.
251
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,277
Oh, boy.
That's your takeaway?
252
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,932
My dominance
was never born.
253
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,500
Oh, he is taking this
way harder than I thought.
254
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:23,154
Johnny Atkins is
second-guessing his role
in this hateful prank.
255
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,678
Prank?
What's he talking about?
256
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:27,376
I'm talking about how
your closest friends
bought me tacos
257
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,334
to question your
existential value
in the world.
258
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,641
I don't know
what that means,
but...JTP?
259
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,208
ALL: JTP.
260
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:34,688
Bud, it was a prank,
261
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,254
like how you sullied
my under-khakis.
262
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:37,386
Uh, now we're even.
263
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,910
I merely wore
your most intimate apparel.
264
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,912
You stole my place
in this world.
265
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:44,828
The important thing is,
we can resume our lives
and put this to rest.
266
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:47,352
Opposite.
I'm coming for you guys.
267
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,441
It may not be
today or tomorrow,
268
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,182
'cause I got
some stuff to do,
269
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:53,141
but it'll be sometime
convenient for me,
270
00:08:53,184 --> 00:08:54,359
probably Wednesday,
271
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:57,188
and it will ruin
your lives forever.
272
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,626
ADULT ADAM: While Barry
was dead set on revenge,
273
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:02,716
Geoff was dead set on being
part of our family photo.
274
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:05,632
Why is this meshugenah
blocking the tube?
275
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:08,199
I want to see if Simon
makes up with Simon.
276
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:10,680
I stand before you with
a comprehensive presentation
277
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,203
of why I should be
in your family photo.
278
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,770
I'm not looking
at any of that.
279
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,555
And I knew you wouldn't,
because,
as a fixture in this home,
280
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:16,643
I know everything about you.
281
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,296
Then you know
I'm irritated.
282
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,037
Which is why I brought you
a bacon and egg sandwich
283
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,822
with a side of another
bacon and egg sandwich.
284
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,693
Eh. Do what you do,
egg man.
285
00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:26,566
Geoff, stop.
You are an important part
of this family,
286
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,568
and I'm sorry I didn't ask you
to be in the picture.
287
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:30,700
You're in.
288
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:32,789
Oh, my God.
289
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,399
This is such
a big moment for me.
290
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:35,487
I don't even know
what to say.
291
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:37,054
Say you'll pull it
together.
292
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:39,013
I don't need you puffy
for when we take the pic
293
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,537
that will devastate that
Christmas clown Jinzy Kremp.
294
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,973
I'm the favorite
holiday boy now.
295
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,801
Let me see
your pearly whites, huh?
296
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,498
Oh, yeah.
Those are gonna
shine up nicely.
297
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,326
Uh, what's going on
in here?
298
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:50,459
Your mom's inspecting
your boyfriend
299
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:52,461
like he's some kind
of show pony.
300
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,332
It's invasive,
but I'm gonna be
in the photo!
301
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,639
What? No.
You guys don't want him
in the photo, right?
302
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,815
Fine by me.
Murray, you cool with it?
303
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:01,122
I've never cared less
about anything in my life.
304
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,906
We are going to be
on all the fridges
305
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:05,126
and mantels
throughout the suburbs.
It's happening!
306
00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:07,084
[CHUCKLES]
It really is.
307
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,477
So, so fast.
308
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,435
♪♪
309
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,744
ADULT ADAM: The JTP
had made Barry feel
310
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,354
like he didn't even exist...
[DOOR SLAMS]
311
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:17,921
...so he was determined
to get back at them
312
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,706
in a way they would
remember forever.
313
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,055
[SIGHS] Where do we keep
the rat poison?
314
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:22,839
Oh, no.
Do we have a rat?
315
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:23,927
Three.
316
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:25,712
My friends
hurtfully pranked me,
317
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,757
and now I want to even more
hurtfully prank them back.
318
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:30,368
With poison?
Hilarious, I know,
319
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:33,937
but I'm open to suggestions,
just as long as it's something
320
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:36,157
that destroys their lives
and forever changes us all.
321
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,637
Every week,
I caution you
322
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,422
with advice
in difficult situations.
323
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:41,641
It's basically
all you do,
324
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,338
besides snarf down
our baked goods.
325
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:46,471
No matter my advice,
you do the exact opposite.
326
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,082
I am a little
frustrating.
327
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:50,301
So, I'm gonna
give you bad advice
328
00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:53,174
in the hopes that you'll do
the right thing.Getting bored.
329
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:56,177
Destroy your buddies
with extreme malice.
330
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,962
So, you're kinda saying
I shouldn't seek revenge
331
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:01,399
because it will irreparably
damage my friendships?
332
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:02,923
Wait, are you
really hearing me?
333
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,011
Who knows?
334
00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:05,752
♪♪
335
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:09,016
[AIR HORN BLARES]
336
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,800
Good morning,
tired amigos.
337
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,020
What's with the horn, man?
It's 6:00 a.m.
338
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:15,196
Apologies have no sense
of time or place.
339
00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:16,632
Oh, good.
340
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,112
You're here to acknowledge
the error of your ways,
341
00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:19,200
and you're ready
to move forward
342
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,332
as an equal respectful partner
in our home.
343
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:22,769
Something like that.
344
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,248
I even brought you all
holiday gifts.
345
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:25,902
I don't understand.
346
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,904
You were super angry
and irrational yesterday.
347
00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:30,124
But then my wise
old grandpa suggested
348
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,908
I stop this senseless
cycle of pranking.
349
00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:34,345
Good advice.
What's in the boxes, Barry?
350
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,521
Just a little reminder
of how I feel about you guys.
351
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,001
Ah, screw it.
I'm going in.
352
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,176
[CHUCKLES]
353
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:41,962
My dress slacks?
[CHUCKLES]
354
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,050
They're shredded.
355
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,181
You've been pranked!
356
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:46,227
I've got my sister's
engagement dinner tonight.
357
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,577
I guess you'll have to hit
the boys section of Sears.
358
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:49,709
Dude, that's not a gift.
359
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,449
That's just mean
and destructive.
360
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:52,537
You're up next,
Naked Rob.
361
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,933
My Nudist Enthusiast
magazines?
362
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,761
These are expensive
and European.
363
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,589
Now they're confetti.
364
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,330
I had to learn French
for these.
365
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,724
Finally, for my favorite
person in the world,
366
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,769
stupid Matt Bradley.
367
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,162
I don't wanna open mine.
Your instincts are good.
368
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:11,600
Is this
my birth certificate
369
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,384
or the last letter
my grandfather wrote me?
370
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:16,387
Those are your last
three paychecks
from The Gap.
371
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,215
Now I don't have money
for presents for my family.
372
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,783
[CHUCKLES] It's even funnier
than I thought! Whoo!
373
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,698
Dude,
this is way too far.
374
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,613
Yeah, you made
Matt Bradley weep.
375
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,310
[VOICE BREAKING]
I actually cry every day,
376
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:27,747
but this one hurt.
377
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,096
Barry, you need
to get out.
378
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,793
Because I brought
our prank war
379
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,490
to its naturally
devastating conclusion?
380
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,014
You're not just
a horrible roommate.
381
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:35,406
You're a horrible friend.
382
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,582
[NORMAL VOICE]
We're gonna go
grab breakfast.
383
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,497
When we get back,
you need to be gone.
384
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:41,891
No! Guys, come back.
385
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,501
How will I learn
if you don't
386
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,329
immediately forgive me
and move on?
387
00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,244
ADULT ADAM:
As Barry couldn't see
the error of his ways,
388
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:49,333
the next day,
Geoff was about to witness
389
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:52,336
a traditional Goldberg family holiday card catastrophe.
390
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,251
Oh, my God!
391
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,297
My scrumptious family
looks amazing.
392
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:59,691
Paul, is it true that when
a family looks this pretty,
393
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,519
you pay them
to take their picture?
394
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,043
No.
395
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:06,002
Okay, Goldberg clan.
Let's see those smiles.
396
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:09,527
Uh, young man in the back?
You look really sad.
397
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:10,354
My boy friends
dumped me.
398
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,183
So it begins.
399
00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:14,619
You know, we might as well
just cut our losses
400
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,230
and head on home.
No way.
401
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,536
All right, come on.
Smile for Mama, Barry.
402
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,842
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
Oh, no!
403
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,975
Barry's grimace
doesn't express
family unity and joy.
404
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,107
Nope. His stink face
is the least of it.
405
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,761
My grandpa can't
stand this long.
406
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,458
Hey, Pops,
how ya feeling?
407
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:29,721
All my fluids
are in my feet.
408
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:32,072
I-I-I think
I'll lie down
for a minute.
409
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:33,160
Oh!
410
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,552
Dad, what the hell
are you doing?
411
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:37,077
You got a pillow
or a couch cushion?
412
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,383
Oh, no!
Your grandpa just made
the ground his bed!
413
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,342
It's what he does.
All right.
414
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,126
Just like how my dad
always gets overheated.
415
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,867
Hey, Mur-Man,
how's that sweater
treating you?
416
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,129
Make it stop!
Get it off!
417
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,783
Just keep clicking.
We'll get one.
418
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,264
Maybe even one
with some fun props?
What do you say, Ad?
419
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:51,787
Who screams
holiday cheer more
420
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,137
than flamboyant pop icon
Elton John?
421
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,705
Are we sleeping
or pop stars?
Let's pick a lane!
422
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:57,924
Pull it together,
Geoff.
423
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,403
Please tell me
you're getting
some keepers.
424
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:00,535
Definitely.
425
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,102
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
426
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,060
♪♪
427
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:07,107
It all fell apart
so fast.
428
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,586
Yeah,
I tried to tell you.
429
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,284
Just be happy
you never have to
do this again.
430
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,374
Okay,
I think we got it.
431
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:15,115
ADULT ADAM: But we didn't.
432
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:16,812
Back at home,
Barry still didn't get
433
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,119
why he lost his place
in the JTP pad.
434
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:21,251
You've been given
a great gift, George...
435
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,819
A chance to see what
the world would
be like without you.
436
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,039
I wish I had someone
old and wise
437
00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,562
who would guide me
through life.
438
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:30,043
I'm going back
to focusing on Adam.
439
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:32,306
Okay, Pops.
I'm gonna crash here tonight.
440
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,830
Sure, there's 12 minutes left,
but let's turn it off.
441
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,006
♪♪
442
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,751
[YAWNS]
443
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,709
[GASPS] This isn't
where I fell asleep.
444
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:45,841
Oh, no!
445
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,016
Have I been
gently kidnapped?
446
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,714
Your body is right
where you left it.
447
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:52,717
You're dreaming of
what the world would be like
if you didn't exist.
448
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,589
This isn't
the JTP pad.
449
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:55,851
It has no holes
in the wall.
450
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,853
Of course
there's no holes.
451
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,376
You weren't here
to punch them.
452
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:00,464
[DOOR OPENS]
453
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:01,770
Go for Mr. Bradley.
454
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,642
"Mr. Bradley"?
455
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:07,384
Who are you, your stepdad
that officially adopted you?
456
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,472
Nerd.
457
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,604
He can't hear you.
458
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:12,650
And he's now a successful
Gap businessman.
459
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,652
Without you making him
late for work,
460
00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:17,568
he became Worldwide Head
of Jean Shorts.
461
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,005
Buy! Sell!
462
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:19,919
Business!
Huh?
463
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:23,009
Oh, hey, there, friend.
464
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,706
How's the weather
up here, you ask?
465
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,316
[CHUCKLING]
Why, it's great,
466
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,711
because life
for the very tall
always is.
467
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,191
[LAUGHS]
Who stretched Andy?
468
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:32,409
No one.
469
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:35,891
Without you
stealing his lunch,
Andy had a growth spurt.
470
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:39,982
He's been helping people
grab things off the top shelf
ever since.
471
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,245
Afternoon, gents.
472
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,812
Gorgeous Rob!
Gorgeous Rob!
473
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,292
"Gorgeous" Rob?
474
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:47,163
You're Naked Rob,
and that's all you'll ever be.
475
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:50,036
Without you to pants Rob
in second grade,
476
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,821
Naked Rob
never came to be.
477
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,997
He built his identity
based on a love
478
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,000
of high-quality
Italian menswear.
479
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:59,393
Hope you guys don't mind.
480
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:02,004
I brought a party sub.
And a party.
481
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,659
ANDY: It's our wives,
482
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,704
who cherish us
not just for our success,
483
00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:08,750
but for our high
self-esteem.
484
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,708
Let's kiss them
and watch football.
485
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:12,623
Yeah.
No! No!
486
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,017
You don't have wives!
You have me!
487
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,759
And I matter!
I make your lives better!
488
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:20,327
♪♪
489
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,111
Gah!
490
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,505
That Wonderful Lifemovie
taught me I need
to fix everything!
491
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,898
But you were asleep
for 10 seconds!
492
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:29,162
I've been asleep
my whole life.
493
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,425
So George Bailey,
you listen to.
494
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:34,297
What?
Your name is Al something.
495
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:35,951
Anyway, I gotta go.
496
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,258
ADULT ADAM: While Barry
ran off to save
his friendships,
497
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,303
Geoff was about to run
into my sister at the mall.
498
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,435
Erica?
499
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,132
Geoff, what are
you doing here?
500
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,526
I thought I'd get your family
a little thank-you
for including me.
501
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:46,788
Hey, Geoff.
502
00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:49,356
Oh, you'll be happy to know
that Jinzy will be
503
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,662
crying into her
nothing-flavored
holiday cookies
504
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,099
because we nailed it.
505
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,230
You took the photo
without me?
506
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:57,581
Yes, 'cause they are
the worst... The worst.
507
00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:59,366
So, let's just rush away
and never speak of this again.
508
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:01,716
Wait a minute.
We wanted Geoff
in the picture.
509
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,805
You're the one who said
he had explosive diarrhea.
510
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:06,286
What? No.
511
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:07,852
And I definitely did not
say "explosive."
512
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,985
You did,
and it read as true.
513
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,900
Been there.
It's our people's burden.
514
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,032
Shame only
makes it worse.
515
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,077
I-I don't
have diarrhea.
516
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,209
So, why?
517
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,819
Uh...
518
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,995
This is a guess,
but she definitely
519
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,083
doesn't want you
to be in our picture.
520
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,215
Is that true?
521
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,477
Please, I can explain.
522
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,956
No need.
523
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,306
Enjoy being
with your family.
524
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,092
Well, it's not
a Goldbergs holiday
525
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,529
unless someone runs away upset
and possibly with diarrhea.
526
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,230
ADULT ADAM:
Even though the JTP
had kicked Barry out,
527
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:39,841
he was still determined to
pull off a holiday miracle.
528
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,017
JTP, I have returned.
529
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,540
I thought
we took your key.
530
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:46,239
You did, but I made dozens
of copies of the JT-Key,
531
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,415
all of which I lost,
except for this one.
532
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:49,720
What do you want?
Just one thing...
533
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,026
Your forgiveness.
534
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,247
Oh! What's in the bag, man?
I think it just moved.
535
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,336
It's definitely
full of spiders.I know what's in there.
536
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,512
My greatest fear...
Speaking in public.
537
00:17:58,555 --> 00:17:59,730
BARRY: No.
538
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,384
I had a dream
about you guys,
539
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:04,083
and you were all better
and way more successful,
and I hated it.
540
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:06,172
You hate the idea
of us being successful?
541
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:08,478
I love the idea
of you guys crushing life.
542
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,611
I just hated that
I wasn't a part of it.
543
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,092
That's...
Really nice, Bar.
544
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,355
So, I emptied
my bank account
545
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:16,617
and replaced all the gifts
I shredded.
546
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,098
Your pants.
547
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:21,535
Your nudie mags.
548
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:22,579
[CHUCKLES]
549
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:24,407
And your paychecks.
550
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,322
Whoa.
551
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,368
They're all...
Kinda here.
552
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,892
And I got a little something
extra for each of you.
553
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,546
For Naked Rob,
554
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,375
a Miami Vicesuit,
'cause in my dream,
555
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,768
you looked amazing
with or without clothes.
556
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:41,076
For Andy,
a 76ers Dr. J jersey,
557
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,122
'cause you stand taller
than anyone I know.
558
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,602
And for my dear friend
Matt Bradley,
559
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,300
I got you nothing,
560
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,823
'cause you're perfect
the way you are.
561
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:49,954
You ran outta money?
562
00:18:49,998 --> 00:18:51,086
You're welcome.
563
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,523
Get in here.
[LAUGHTER]
564
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,351
ADULT ADAM: While Barry had
finally found his way,
565
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,397
Geoff had never
felt more lost.
566
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,876
Hey.
567
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,009
Don't worry.
I'll be out of here soon.
568
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:02,837
Geoff, stop.
You got it all wrong.
569
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,360
No, I think
it's pretty clear.
570
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:05,535
You're ashamed of me.
571
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,102
What?
Yeah.
572
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,452
You don't want me
in your permanent picture
for everyone to see
573
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:11,150
because you're the cool,
hot girl
574
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:12,629
and I'm just the sweet,
little puppy dog
575
00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:14,631
who follows you around
and folds your clothes,
576
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,111
but when
it comes time to...
577
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,113
[THE CURE'S PICTURES OF YOU
PLAYS]
578
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,463
Geoff, I am never
ashamed of you.
579
00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:22,117
Never.
580
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,945
There's nothing better
in my life than you.
581
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,904
Then why can't I be
in your family's
stupid holiday card?
582
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:29,255
Because...
I'm not ready.
583
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:30,952
How does that
even make sense?
584
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,345
It was your idea
to live together,
585
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:33,824
secretly,
in this little room.
586
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:36,175
And I am loving it.
587
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,742
But you being in that picture
with my family,
588
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,788
it made me anxious
about the future.
589
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,181
The future?
590
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,052
Our future.
591
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:45,358
About getting married
592
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,098
and starting
our own family
593
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:48,274
and being together forever.
594
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,626
♪ I've been living so long
595
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,584
GEOFF: Barry and Lainey.
596
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:57,761
You're scared this card will
be a permanent reminder of us
if things don't work out.
597
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,807
All I know is,
right here, right now,
598
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,679
I am so happy,
599
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:06,074
and I don't want
to think about anything
beyond right now.
600
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:07,510
I'm willing to take this
as slow as you want.
601
00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:09,773
But I'm starting
to think
602
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:10,774
you might be right
about that photo.
603
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:12,950
♪♪
604
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,256
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
605
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,215
ADULT ADAM:
With that, Geoff got
a version of the photo
606
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,217
he liked even more.
[CHUCKLES]
607
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:20,480
That's the thing
about the holidays.
608
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,003
They may not always turn out
like you'd imagined.
609
00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:23,222
[SIGHS]
It's not great.
610
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:26,834
But it's us.
611
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,532
You're right.
[CHUCKLES]
612
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:31,404
♪ There was nothing
in the world ♪
613
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,623
But then you're reminded
that the little
imperfections
614
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:35,016
are what make life special,
615
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,540
those moments between the
ones in all the pictures,
616
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,629
the littles ones with
the real smiles.
617
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:42,241
Those are the sweet spot.
618
00:20:42,284 --> 00:20:44,155
'Cause after all, in the end,
619
00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:45,896
when we learn to savor
those moments,
620
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,811
the tiny snapshots,
621
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:51,424
[CHUCKLES] Well,
it really is
a wonderful life.
622
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:53,513
♪♪
623
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,645
Let's see.
Everybody's nice and neat.
624
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,212
Okay.
Let me get your tie.
625
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,692
WOMAN: Adam needs
his hair combed.
626
00:20:58,735 --> 00:21:00,520
That's one
handsome boy here.
627
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:01,695
[BELL DINGS]
628
00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:06,177
Oh, no! Not again!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
629
00:21:06,221 --> 00:21:08,354
Aah!
630
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:10,225
ADAM: Barry?
Now you're in on this?
631
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,793
I heard we had a new way
of getting information
out of you,
632
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:14,316
and we need to know...
633
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,362
Where's that deli
that lets you taste the meat
before you buy it?
634
00:21:16,405 --> 00:21:17,928
It's the one
on Main Street.
635
00:21:17,972 --> 00:21:19,147
[TIRES SCREECH]
636
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:21,497
Is breakfast truly the most
important meal of the day?
637
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:23,717
Is a frog an amphibian
or a reptile?
638
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,285
Does Matt Bradley need
to go to the doctor for this?
639
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:28,809
Sorry. Forgot what
I was gonna ask.
640
00:21:28,852 --> 00:21:29,549
Put the hood
back on him.
47679
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