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1
00:00:01,834 --> 00:00:04,702
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:23,115 --> 00:01:26,818
Have I ever told you guys
anything about Fred Collins?
3
00:01:26,852 --> 00:01:29,354
He's got bedroom eyes,
4
00:01:29,388 --> 00:01:32,524
David Niven mustache
5
00:01:32,558 --> 00:01:36,027
and eyes that show you that
he's a little boy after all.
6
00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:39,563
(giggles)
ALEX:
You just happened to mention him
in passing?
7
00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:41,766
Well, I'm seeing him tonight.
No!
8
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,835
Hey, you finally got a
date with the guy, huh?
9
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,470
Uh, well, no, not exactly,
10
00:01:45,504 --> 00:01:47,105
but I did find out
that he's going
11
00:01:47,139 --> 00:01:49,374
to the Japanese Costume Show
at the Metropolitan.
12
00:01:49,408 --> 00:01:51,776
Oh?
It's the cultural
event of the year.
Wow.
13
00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:54,445
And, uh, I just happened
to get myself invited along,
14
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,048
and I'm gonna be sitting next
to him at the dinner afterwards.
Yeah!
15
00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,850
You got it, you got it.
ELAINE (giggling):
Yeah.
16
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,751
And if that doesn't work,
I'll try something subtle
17
00:02:00,786 --> 00:02:02,586
like the
Dance of the Seven Veils.
18
00:02:02,621 --> 00:02:03,354
(laughs)
19
00:02:03,489 --> 00:02:04,589
Don't worry, Elaine,
20
00:02:04,623 --> 00:02:06,123
it's gonna work;
you're a knockout, baby.
21
00:02:06,158 --> 00:02:07,559
Oh, I hope so.
22
00:02:07,593 --> 00:02:10,228
I just want everything to be
so perfect tonight, you know?
23
00:02:10,262 --> 00:02:12,730
So, that's why I did this.
24
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,869
Nice outfit.
Not bad.
25
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:19,404
You mean, you can't
tell the difference?
26
00:02:19,438 --> 00:02:20,605
ALEX:
Hmm?
27
00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:21,739
Oh, no!
28
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:24,742
I spent $25 on this hairdo.
29
00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:27,679
Oh, my God, you're right.
30
00:02:27,713 --> 00:02:29,647
It's not special enough.
31
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:31,516
I'm gonna have to do it.
32
00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:34,719
One of these days, I'm gonna
have to go to Vincenzo Seneca.
33
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:38,156
That's that place with the
great nude beaches, right?
34
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:42,527
Yeah, but they got
spiders this big.
35
00:02:42,561 --> 00:02:43,962
No.
36
00:02:43,996 --> 00:02:47,499
Vincenzo Seneca is the "in"
hair stylist of New York City.
37
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:49,200
Oh, you'll always see
the most gorgeous women
38
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:50,402
leaving his salon.
39
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:51,836
Yeah.
40
00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,704
You know, there's no harm
in trying
41
00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:56,007
to get an appointment today,
right?
42
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,708
I mean, why not?
43
00:02:57,743 --> 00:02:59,377
Sure.
44
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:04,549
You know, I've always wanted
to have my hair styled.
45
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:08,653
I need a little help in
this one problem area.
46
00:03:08,687 --> 00:03:09,955
Cowlick?
47
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:13,758
I'll try anything.
48
00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:15,126
Elaine, I don't
want to say nothing,
49
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,361
but this guy sounds
pretty expensive.
50
00:03:17,396 --> 00:03:19,530
Uh-huh, it could cost me
maybe $100.
51
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,298
Ouch!
52
00:03:20,399 --> 00:03:21,299
Mm.
Hmm.
53
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,400
Deal.
54
00:03:23,802 --> 00:03:25,336
LOUIE:
All right, gather around,
cabbies,
55
00:03:25,404 --> 00:03:27,505
Gather around.
56
00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:28,806
Come, come, come, come, come!
57
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,814
We have a morale problem here.
58
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,482
You guys are always complaining
59
00:03:38,517 --> 00:03:40,351
that you're bored,
60
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:43,621
that there's nothing to do
in this garage.
61
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:46,558
Well, now you've got
something to do.
62
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,362
Guess what's under here.
63
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,964
Uh, is it a volleyball?
64
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,300
Close.
65
00:03:56,335 --> 00:03:59,337
Allow me to present...
66
00:03:59,371 --> 00:04:01,305
Pac-Man!
67
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:11,348
Now, who is gonna be
the lucky pup
68
00:04:11,383 --> 00:04:13,384
who gets to play the first game?
69
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,727
Iggy!
70
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,996
You're a somewhat
compulsive personality.
71
00:04:25,831 --> 00:04:27,799
Step forward.
72
00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:33,571
Now... you see,
there's the maze.
73
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:34,906
Uh-huh.
All right.
74
00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:38,076
You see the little things
inside the maze?
75
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:39,277
They're dots.
76
00:04:39,311 --> 00:04:40,945
That's right!
Oh!
77
00:04:40,979 --> 00:04:42,414
The dots!
Ah!
78
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,116
Iggy, you were born
to play Pac-Man!
79
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,118
Oh!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
80
00:04:47,152 --> 00:04:49,454
Now, now the object
of the game
Uh-huh.
81
00:04:49,488 --> 00:04:54,258
is to move that little yellow
circle around with this stick
82
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,461
and eat up all the dots.
83
00:04:56,495 --> 00:04:58,062
Oh, wow!
(chuckling)
84
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:00,131
No, no, no, no, Iggy, Iggy,
85
00:05:00,165 --> 00:05:01,866
settle down, settle
down, settle down.
86
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:05,270
There's more.
More?!
87
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:07,271
Now, you see those, those
monsters in the middle?
88
00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:08,572
Uh-huh.
All right,
89
00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:09,940
they come out...
Yeah?
90
00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:11,275
and try and eat you.
91
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:12,410
Whoa!
92
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,279
All right,
Iggy, Iggy...
93
00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:17,148
Oh, come on,
please, boss!
94
00:05:17,182 --> 00:05:19,150
There's more, Iggy,
there's more!
95
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:20,385
More!
More?!
96
00:05:20,419 --> 00:05:21,552
Yes, yes.
97
00:05:21,586 --> 00:05:22,854
More.
All right, now,
98
00:05:22,888 --> 00:05:24,789
you see those
white things flashing?
99
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,558
Uh-huh.
Well, those are energizers.
100
00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:27,892
Yeah?
Yes.
101
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,861
If you eat one of those,
102
00:05:29,895 --> 00:05:33,498
then the monsters turn blue
103
00:05:33,532 --> 00:05:35,667
and then when you eat them,
104
00:05:35,701 --> 00:05:37,769
you get points
for eating them.
105
00:05:37,803 --> 00:05:39,970
Oh, oh!
106
00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:41,373
Iggy, Iggy, are you ready?
107
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,040
Oh, I'm ready, boss!
108
00:05:43,075 --> 00:05:44,975
All right, all right,
all right, whoa!
109
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:46,878
I... I love
his enthusiasm.
110
00:05:46,912 --> 00:05:48,847
Iggy, Iggy, okay.
111
00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:50,281
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
112
00:05:50,315 --> 00:05:52,550
The first one is on me.
113
00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:54,586
Ah...
114
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:55,920
Now remember...
115
00:05:55,954 --> 00:05:57,088
Uh-huh.
116
00:05:57,122 --> 00:05:59,090
You only get
three chances.
117
00:05:59,124 --> 00:06:02,059
(Pac-Man game intro music plays)
118
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,165
(beeping, laser beam-like
life-loss music plays)
119
00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:10,468
(life-loss music plays twice)
120
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:14,839
Is it over?
121
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,107
Yeah.
122
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:17,876
That was the greatest
thrill of my life!
123
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,377
I'm glad you liked it!
124
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:20,879
(yelling in exhilaration)
125
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:23,981
All right, Iggy,
go to it, Iggy.
Ah. Oh.
126
00:06:26,518 --> 00:06:28,286
Guys, oh, I cannot believe this!
127
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,454
Do you know what?
128
00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:31,322
There was a cancellation
just a few minutes ago.
129
00:06:31,356 --> 00:06:33,357
I can see Vincenzo Seneca
this afternoon.
130
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,093
Hey, go, go, go!
131
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:37,262
Now all I have to do
is cancel it.
132
00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:39,397
I can't afford this.
133
00:06:39,431 --> 00:06:41,099
Of course I can afford this.
134
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:43,301
This may be one of the
biggest nights of my life,
135
00:06:43,335 --> 00:06:44,903
and money is no object.
136
00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:46,604
Money has to be an object.
I'm a cabbie.
137
00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:49,107
I am not an extravagant person.
138
00:06:49,141 --> 00:06:51,375
But I am entitled
to an extravagant fling
139
00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:54,078
now and then, and this is it.
140
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:55,813
This is it.
141
00:06:55,847 --> 00:06:57,982
I'm going.
142
00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:00,150
Oh, I'm going.
143
00:07:00,185 --> 00:07:01,886
ELAINE:
I'm going.
144
00:07:09,661 --> 00:07:11,662
Excuse me, I'm
Elaine Nardo.
145
00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:15,133
Hello, your appointment
is with?
146
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:16,300
Vincenzo.
147
00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:18,436
Let me see if there's
been a cancellation.
148
00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:20,538
Oh, no, no, no, I
have an appointment.
149
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,708
Yes, but he sometimes cancels.
150
00:07:23,742 --> 00:07:24,909
Creative people.
151
00:07:24,943 --> 00:07:26,678
No, no,
152
00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,279
everything seems to be fine,
153
00:07:28,313 --> 00:07:30,148
but he is running
just a little bit late.
154
00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:31,415
Oh, that's okay.
155
00:07:31,449 --> 00:07:33,851
I can wait.
156
00:07:33,885 --> 00:07:35,386
Um...
157
00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:37,721
I've never been here before,
158
00:07:37,756 --> 00:07:40,424
and, uh, I really don't know
what Vincenzo charges.
159
00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:42,293
So, could you tell me?
160
00:07:42,327 --> 00:07:43,661
Not that it matters, of course.
161
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:47,031
$225 for a Seneca design.
162
00:07:47,065 --> 00:07:48,500
Is that too much?
163
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:52,102
(uneasy laugh)
No.
164
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:55,139
No, it's very reasonable.
165
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:56,907
What else are you
interested in today?
166
00:07:56,942 --> 00:07:58,276
Eyelash tint?
167
00:07:58,310 --> 00:07:59,277
No.
168
00:07:59,311 --> 00:08:01,112
Wax?
No.
169
00:08:01,146 --> 00:08:02,413
Facial?
170
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:03,181
No.
171
00:08:03,215 --> 00:08:04,348
A manicure?
172
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,084
No.
No?
173
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,986
You're quite sure?
174
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:11,722
Yes, I'm quite sure.
175
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:14,291
Well, while you're waiting,
you may have some wine
176
00:08:14,326 --> 00:08:15,626
or coffee or...?
177
00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:16,995
Oh, no thanks.
178
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:19,097
Rebecca, Miss Rydell
is dry; comb her out.
179
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,032
Lamont, clean that up
back there, will you?
180
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,734
Mike, not too much
off the back.
181
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,135
CLIENT:
Oh... oh, Vincenzo,
182
00:08:24,169 --> 00:08:25,669
I wanted to look marvelous
183
00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:27,438
at the Japanese opening
at the Met tonight
184
00:08:27,472 --> 00:08:29,340
and you've really done it.
185
00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:30,775
Oh, how can I thank you?
186
00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:32,443
Bring me a kimono.
187
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:36,314
Oh, oh, I would, but I think
there'll be security guards.
188
00:08:36,348 --> 00:08:37,948
Then bring me a security guard.
189
00:08:37,983 --> 00:08:40,317
Oh!
(chuckling)
190
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:42,152
(giggling)
191
00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:47,791
Is my 1:00 here yet?
192
00:08:47,826 --> 00:08:49,160
Mm, yes, Vincenzo.
193
00:08:49,194 --> 00:08:51,328
Hi, I'm Elaine.
194
00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:53,130
Hello.
Hello.
195
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,531
Well, let's see what we've got.
196
00:08:57,769 --> 00:09:00,605
I'm also going to the Japanese
Costume Show at the Met,
197
00:09:00,639 --> 00:09:02,339
and I'd love to look
fantastic, too.
198
00:09:02,374 --> 00:09:03,942
Mm-hmm.
199
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,411
Do you usually
cut this yourself?
200
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:07,779
No.
201
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:09,781
Oh, well, never mind,
just hop up there.
202
00:09:11,516 --> 00:09:13,751
Now...
203
00:09:13,785 --> 00:09:15,386
Elaine,
204
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:17,655
just as Michelangelo
205
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:21,025
discovered the beauty of
David in a slab of marble,
206
00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:23,728
I shall find in that head of
hair your perfect hairstyle.
207
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,963
Promise.
(giggling):
Okay.
208
00:09:25,997 --> 00:09:27,932
But who's gonna dress you?
209
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,701
(chortles)
210
00:09:30,769 --> 00:09:34,505
So, what are we going
to do today, hmm?
211
00:09:34,539 --> 00:09:35,940
I don't know.
212
00:09:35,974 --> 00:09:37,508
Well, why don't you tell me
something about yourself?
213
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:38,943
Maybe that'll help.
214
00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:40,411
Well, um...
215
00:09:40,445 --> 00:09:43,547
I'm a mother and I also
drive a cab part-time
216
00:09:43,581 --> 00:09:45,616
and I work at an art gallery
part-time
217
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,985
and I'm gonna have the biggest
night I've had in years
218
00:09:48,019 --> 00:09:49,953
and I want to look great.
219
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,922
Cabdriver, really?
Mm-hmm.
220
00:09:51,956 --> 00:09:53,658
How fascinating.
221
00:09:53,692 --> 00:09:56,628
Well, stick with me,
and you'll become a passenger.
222
00:09:56,662 --> 00:10:00,098
How about just
an edge of style, hmm?
223
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,699
Okay.
Oh, I know, I know.
224
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:04,635
Uh, just a hint of color?
225
00:10:04,669 --> 00:10:06,371
Oh, Vincenzo, I don't know.
226
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:08,272
I'm pretty comfortable
with this color.
227
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,641
Well, all right, fine.
228
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,075
We'll stick with I Love Lucy.
229
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:12,376
Wait.
230
00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:14,912
Uh, Vincenzo, I don't mean
to offend you or anything.
231
00:10:14,946 --> 00:10:18,082
It's just that it's so important
to me to look great tonight,
232
00:10:18,116 --> 00:10:19,951
and, and I really don't know
what I want,
233
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,352
so I'm just a little nervous.
234
00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:23,487
I think you should
leave it to me.
235
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:25,356
I don't know,
what would you want to...
236
00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:26,957
I think you should
leave it to me.
237
00:10:26,991 --> 00:10:28,292
But you don't
really know me.
238
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:30,761
You want thick,
you want beautiful,
239
00:10:30,829 --> 00:10:33,096
you want men to drop dead
at the very sight of you.
240
00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:35,299
Am I right?
Exactly.
241
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,202
I think you should
leave it to me.
242
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:40,804
Hmm?
243
00:10:40,839 --> 00:10:44,007
Well...
okay, I'll trust you.
244
00:10:44,042 --> 00:10:45,910
You won't be
disappointed.
245
00:10:46,011 --> 00:10:48,712
Rebecca, we're gonna need
some green out here.
246
00:10:48,746 --> 00:10:50,114
Just kidding.
247
00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:51,782
Just kidding!
248
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,489
ELAINE:
You know, it's gonna
be a marvelous evening.
249
00:10:58,524 --> 00:11:01,125
This man is so divine,
Vincenzo, you'd love him.
250
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,393
Can I look now?
251
00:11:02,427 --> 00:11:04,162
No, no, no, no,
not yet, not yet.
252
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:06,330
Oh, my God,
you're gonna love this.
253
00:11:06,365 --> 00:11:07,998
Really?
It's absolutely perfect.
254
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:09,300
I hope so.
255
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:10,768
I'm so nervous,
I can't breathe.
256
00:11:10,802 --> 00:11:12,170
Are you ready?
Yeah.
257
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:13,437
Hmm?
Okay.
258
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,410
(screams)
259
00:11:20,478 --> 00:11:21,913
Too fabulous
for you?
260
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,948
Oh, what did you do?
261
00:11:24,983 --> 00:11:26,850
What did you do to my hair?!
262
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:28,486
You're not unhappy,
are you?
263
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,254
Oh! I knew it!
I knew it!
264
00:11:30,288 --> 00:11:32,523
I should've looked! No!
265
00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:34,892
Listen, you're just upset
because it's something new.
266
00:11:34,926 --> 00:11:38,462
Believe me, live with it for
a while, and you'll love it.
267
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:40,330
All right, fine,
don't take my word for it.
268
00:11:40,365 --> 00:11:42,366
People, come around here,
will you, please?
269
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:46,637
Now, Elaine isn't quite sure
about her hair.
270
00:11:46,671 --> 00:11:49,407
Personally, I think
it's tremendous.
271
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,743
Now, we'd like
some other opinions.
272
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,043
It's fantastic!
Beautiful!
Gorgeous!
273
00:11:53,077 --> 00:11:55,078
It should go
in the book!
274
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:56,814
Right.
275
00:11:56,848 --> 00:11:58,049
Let me get out of here.
276
00:11:58,083 --> 00:12:00,518
I just want to get out of here.
277
00:12:00,552 --> 00:12:04,655
Well, I guess I just
can't do cabdrivers.
278
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:16,367
You're kidding me.
279
00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,235
Well, what did you
expect me to say?
280
00:12:18,303 --> 00:12:20,071
(Pac-Man game whirring
and beeping)
281
00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:23,074
Hey, Jim.
282
00:12:23,108 --> 00:12:26,077
Have you been at that machine
all day nonstop?
283
00:12:26,111 --> 00:12:28,079
No.
284
00:12:28,113 --> 00:12:30,081
I had to go out
a couple of times
285
00:12:30,115 --> 00:12:32,049
and beg for quarters.
286
00:12:33,952 --> 00:12:35,686
All right,
287
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,488
paychecks, paychecks, everybody.
288
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:41,292
Badick...
289
00:12:41,326 --> 00:12:42,793
Banta...
All right, Lou.
290
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:43,760
Reiger.
291
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,297
Ignatowski!
292
00:12:46,331 --> 00:12:47,698
(coins clinking)
293
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:52,570
Thanks, boss.
You're a brick.
294
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:54,872
Ha ha. (mimics Pac-Man game
sounds): Mm, yum, yum, yum.
295
00:12:54,906 --> 00:12:56,740
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
296
00:12:56,774 --> 00:12:58,042
Ha ha!
297
00:13:00,178 --> 00:13:01,478
You know, you're
sick, Louie.
298
00:13:01,512 --> 00:13:02,980
You know that?
299
00:13:03,014 --> 00:13:05,782
Hey, Jim, come on.
300
00:13:05,817 --> 00:13:07,852
For a guy like you, this
can become an obsession,
301
00:13:07,886 --> 00:13:09,686
you know that?
(game music plays)
302
00:13:09,721 --> 00:13:12,055
Why don't you quit before
you've spent all your money?
303
00:13:12,090 --> 00:13:13,891
Don't let this
happen to you, Jim.
304
00:13:13,925 --> 00:13:16,794
Lighten up.
305
00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:20,198
(crying)
306
00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:21,898
Elaine?
307
00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:23,501
Oh, my God, Elaine!
308
00:13:23,535 --> 00:13:24,835
(crying)
309
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,304
Elaine, hey, no,
no, no, no.
310
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:27,704
Wait, Elaine,
it's not that bad.
311
00:13:27,739 --> 00:13:28,739
Stop crying.
312
00:13:28,773 --> 00:13:30,708
No.
Who's crying?
313
00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:32,743
Oh, Elaine.
314
00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:34,178
I'm sorry.
315
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:36,147
I was just looking
at your lovely new hairdo.
316
00:13:36,181 --> 00:13:37,882
(crying):
Oh, don't lie to me, Tony.
317
00:13:37,916 --> 00:13:39,816
It's hideous!
It's awful!
318
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:42,620
I wanted this to be
the biggest night of my life,
319
00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:44,188
and now I can't even go.
320
00:13:44,222 --> 00:13:46,090
Oh, hey, now, come on,
don't say that.
321
00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:48,826
You-you should go
anyway.
322
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,595
Why? So they can serve
hors d'oeuvres on my head?
323
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,568
Why don't you
just get it fixed?
324
00:13:57,602 --> 00:13:58,735
I can't fix this!
325
00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:01,738
I can't even get a comb
through it.
326
00:14:01,773 --> 00:14:03,740
Once you do this much
to your hair,
327
00:14:03,775 --> 00:14:06,544
you have to leave it alone
for a couple of days.
328
00:14:06,578 --> 00:14:09,212
And if I do anything now,
it'll just fall out in clumps.
329
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:10,548
It might be worth a shot.
330
00:14:10,582 --> 00:14:12,950
Tony!
331
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:15,353
Look, Elaine,
332
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:16,854
don't get depressed
by this.
333
00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:18,823
Oh, I'm not
even depressed
about it, Alex.
334
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:20,858
I'm furious!
I'm so angry!
335
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:22,360
I'm so mad at that guy!
336
00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:24,195
I'm so mad at myself!
337
00:14:24,229 --> 00:14:25,529
Don't you see, I could have...
338
00:14:25,563 --> 00:14:26,997
I could have asked him
339
00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:29,166
to show me what he was doing
in the mirror, but I didn't.
340
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,035
I just let him intimidate me.
341
00:14:31,069 --> 00:14:33,304
I tried to act like
I was part of his world.
342
00:14:33,338 --> 00:14:34,972
I-I denied who I am.
343
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,573
I didn't listen to my instincts.
344
00:14:36,608 --> 00:14:37,574
I knew it!
345
00:14:37,609 --> 00:14:39,243
I knew it
as I was sitting there.
346
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:40,278
So what did I do?
347
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:42,280
I just emptied my wallet
and paid the guy
348
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:45,783
for making me look
like spoiled coleslaw.
349
00:14:45,817 --> 00:14:47,618
Oh, oh, Elaine, Elaine,
Elaine, Elaine,
350
00:14:47,652 --> 00:14:49,286
no, no, no, no, no,
please, please.
351
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:52,289
Hey, Elaine,
what's going on?
352
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,826
Wait... a minute.
353
00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:57,828
There's something
different about you.
354
00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,830
Jim...
Don't tell me.
355
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,832
Uh, wait a minute,
it's your hair.
356
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,100
Isn't it?
Isn't it?
357
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,401
Yes!
358
00:15:04,469 --> 00:15:05,135
Hey.
359
00:15:06,271 --> 00:15:08,239
They always
appreciate it
360
00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:10,574
when you notice
the little things.
361
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:15,245
You know, look
at it this way.
362
00:15:15,279 --> 00:15:17,247
At least the worst
is over.
363
00:15:17,281 --> 00:15:20,217
Louie isn't here,
is he?
364
00:15:21,419 --> 00:15:23,487
Correction.
The worst is yet to come.
365
00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:25,389
ALEX:
Louie, Louie, Louie!
366
00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:28,826
Louie, no.
367
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,798
Louie, Louie.
368
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:36,801
I haven't seen a mess
like that...
369
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:38,969
since somebody stuck
a firecracker
370
00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:41,572
up my Uncle Emilio's parrot.
371
00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:46,610
Louie, she feels bad enough
372
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:49,613
without having to put up
with those insults of yours.
373
00:15:49,647 --> 00:15:50,814
What insults?
374
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:53,350
I loved that bird.
375
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:55,519
Ah, gee-whiz, Nardo.
376
00:15:55,553 --> 00:15:57,521
Gee-whiz!
377
00:15:57,555 --> 00:15:59,523
(sobbing)
Louie.
378
00:15:59,557 --> 00:16:01,525
Gee-whiz, Nardo.
379
00:16:01,559 --> 00:16:03,027
Why'd you do it?
380
00:16:03,061 --> 00:16:05,496
I mean, I...
381
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:08,098
Well, I guess you got a right
to feel self-destructive,
382
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,567
but you could've thought of me.
383
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,337
I look forward to seeing you
every day,
384
00:16:13,371 --> 00:16:16,907
like some palookas look forward
to a sunrise.
385
00:16:16,941 --> 00:16:18,709
Well, wh-why'd you do it?
386
00:16:18,743 --> 00:16:21,679
Uh, were you feeling
that self-destructive?
387
00:16:23,715 --> 00:16:26,683
Is this a twisted cry
for help?
388
00:16:27,819 --> 00:16:30,087
TONY:
Louie, she didn't want this.
389
00:16:30,121 --> 00:16:32,189
Some fancy hairdresser
did it to her.
390
00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:33,657
Yeah.
Is that true?
391
00:16:33,691 --> 00:16:34,658
Yeah.
392
00:16:34,692 --> 00:16:36,660
Oh, geez!
393
00:16:36,694 --> 00:16:38,429
Oh!
394
00:16:38,463 --> 00:16:40,364
Oh!
Just forget
about it now.
395
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,832
There's nothing I can do
about it.
396
00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:44,902
Wh-What-What
do you mean?
397
00:16:44,936 --> 00:16:46,169
Wh-What do you mean,
there's nothing...?
398
00:16:46,204 --> 00:16:47,772
There's gotta
be something
she can do.
399
00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:52,176
I mean, if a man assaulted
her body, he'd go to jail.
400
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:54,745
If a man desecrated
a work of art--
401
00:16:54,779 --> 00:16:56,413
in the clink.
402
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:58,682
Maybe I should go over there
and break that guy's head.
403
00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:00,684
Now that's something!
An act of barbarism.
404
00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:01,618
Yeah!
Wait a minute.
405
00:17:01,652 --> 00:17:03,287
Wait a minute here.
406
00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:04,955
Don't be ridiculous, Tony.
407
00:17:04,989 --> 00:17:06,357
You are a professional boxer.
408
00:17:06,391 --> 00:17:08,059
You just can't go around....
Reiger,
409
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,259
you've seen his fights.
410
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,796
There's not a court in the land
that would buy that one.
411
00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:15,198
Don't listen to him.
412
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:16,466
Even you can take
a hairdresser.
413
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:17,735
Was he big?
414
00:17:17,769 --> 00:17:18,702
ALEX:
Hey, now, come on,
everybody.
415
00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:20,638
Now, just calm down,
just calm down.
416
00:17:20,672 --> 00:17:22,907
So he gave her
a bad haircut.
417
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,608
That doesn't make him a bad guy,
does it?
418
00:17:24,642 --> 00:17:26,476
He treated me like dirt.
419
00:17:26,511 --> 00:17:29,146
When I was leaving there crying,
he said...
420
00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:31,415
"Well, I guess
I can't do cabdrivers."
421
00:17:31,449 --> 00:17:33,383
Oh, he kills me. He kills me.
Yeah, and then...
422
00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:36,253
and then all the people in the
shop started to laugh at me.
423
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,255
LOUIE:
Ooh, dirty rat.
What did you do?
424
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,590
Nothing.
425
00:17:39,624 --> 00:17:40,824
What could I do?
426
00:17:40,858 --> 00:17:43,627
Since when do you
take things like that?
427
00:17:43,661 --> 00:17:45,328
You could have asked
for your money back.
428
00:17:45,363 --> 00:17:47,331
You could have demanded
that he redo it.
429
00:17:47,365 --> 00:17:48,832
You could have
gotten angry.
430
00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:50,601
I mean, wh-what is
this guy anyway?
431
00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:51,935
I mean, just...
Will you give me
a break?
432
00:17:51,969 --> 00:17:53,470
I just want to forget it now.
Forget it?
433
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:54,704
Forget it?
You can't forget it.
434
00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:55,705
How can you forget?
435
00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:56,873
Every time you look
in the mirror,
436
00:17:56,907 --> 00:17:59,876
every time you hear
the laughter of kids...
437
00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:02,679
every time a policeman's
horse shies up,
438
00:18:02,713 --> 00:18:03,947
how can you forget that?
439
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:05,583
Elaine, look,
440
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:07,317
you don't feel foolish
because of what he did to you.
441
00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:08,919
You feel foolish
because you took it, right?
442
00:18:08,953 --> 00:18:10,153
Because you took it.
443
00:18:10,188 --> 00:18:11,721
Now you gotta go back there,
you know that.
444
00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:13,124
No.
You gotta go back.
445
00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:14,858
No! Alex, Alex, you can't
make me go back there.
446
00:18:14,892 --> 00:18:16,961
You don't know how
mean they were to me.
Don't worry about it.
447
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,762
I'll go with you.
Now where is it?
448
00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:20,498
53rd and Lex.
449
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:21,565
Good. Come on.
450
00:18:21,599 --> 00:18:23,501
Come on.
Oh.
451
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:26,503
53rd and Lex.
452
00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:34,377
Come on.
453
00:18:34,412 --> 00:18:36,046
Just do it.
Get your money back.
454
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,881
It'll take a couple
of weeks, and it'll
be all right.
455
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,850
No.
456
00:18:41,052 --> 00:18:43,053
Uh, hello.
I'm back.
457
00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:45,055
Oh, don't you worry, darling.
458
00:18:45,089 --> 00:18:46,456
I'll just tell him
you're here to apologize.
459
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:47,824
He'll understand.
460
00:18:47,859 --> 00:18:48,825
Thank you.
Let's go.
Thank you?
461
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:49,827
What're you
talking about?
Alex...
462
00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:52,196
Don't let these people
intimidate you.
463
00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:53,264
Alex, they're not
intimidating me.
464
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,765
I just want to go.
There is no reason...
465
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:56,400
Can I borrow
your hand mirror?
466
00:18:56,434 --> 00:18:58,669
Alex, I want
to go home.
467
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,472
I want to talk
to Vincenzo
right now!
468
00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:03,641
Right now.
469
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,443
He can't be disturbed
when he's in comb-out.
470
00:19:06,477 --> 00:19:07,978
Well, if he can't be disturbed
while he's in comb-out,
471
00:19:08,012 --> 00:19:09,079
we'll wait.
472
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,015
Would you like some wine
while you wait?
473
00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:11,949
Is it free?
474
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:13,950
Yes, of course.
Okay.
475
00:19:18,322 --> 00:19:20,123
You come here often?
476
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:22,893
I'm just here waiting
for a cancellation.
477
00:19:24,896 --> 00:19:27,298
Uh, listen,
I'm Alex Reiger.
478
00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,532
I work with Elaine.
479
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,699
Oh, my God!
480
00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:32,102
The fleet's in.
481
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,839
Vincenzo, I am very upset
482
00:19:35,873 --> 00:19:37,508
about what you did
to my hair.
483
00:19:37,542 --> 00:19:40,010
I-I-I'm ashamed
to be seen in public,
484
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:42,246
and I feel like you
bullied me into this.
485
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:45,082
I'd like you
to give me my money back,
486
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:47,084
and I also think
you owe me an apology
487
00:19:47,118 --> 00:19:48,518
for the way
you talked to me.
488
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,889
Where do you come from that you
think life works like that?
489
00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:53,057
My God.
490
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,225
Hey, now wait a minute,
buddy, buddy,
491
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,894
now either you give her
her money back...
492
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:57,995
Or what?
493
00:19:58,029 --> 00:19:59,997
Are you gonna
create a scene?
494
00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:02,333
Do you really think
that I'm afraid of a scene?
495
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:05,402
Girls, we're in luck.
496
00:20:05,436 --> 00:20:07,371
There's going to be a scene.
497
00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:10,073
Now...
498
00:20:10,107 --> 00:20:12,075
this young woman came
to me this morning
499
00:20:12,109 --> 00:20:14,578
with a hairdo that her high
school must have found boring,
500
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,581
and I gave her this.
501
00:20:17,615 --> 00:20:19,716
Beautiful!
502
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:23,186
Like a parrot.
503
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:28,225
And instead of
thanking me,
504
00:20:28,259 --> 00:20:30,060
she brought the
Jewish Defense League
505
00:20:30,095 --> 00:20:31,861
to get her money back.
506
00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:35,466
Hey, now, now wait a minute,
now wait a minute.
507
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,868
I-I don't belong
to any organization.
508
00:20:37,902 --> 00:20:40,871
I happen to be
a very simple cabdriver
509
00:20:40,905 --> 00:20:44,208
and a friend of Elaine and a...
a champion of justice.
510
00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:45,876
ALEX:
Louie!
511
00:20:45,910 --> 00:20:47,244
What are you doing here?
512
00:20:47,278 --> 00:20:49,612
I want to see the guy
who did it.
513
00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:51,915
Louie, I don't want you
to say a word.
514
00:20:51,949 --> 00:20:53,250
Not a word.
515
00:20:53,284 --> 00:20:54,518
I mean it.
516
00:20:56,587 --> 00:20:58,555
All right, all right,
all right, I won't say a word.
517
00:20:58,589 --> 00:20:59,722
I promise.
518
00:20:59,757 --> 00:21:01,257
I just want to see him.
519
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:02,426
Is this
520
00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:06,063
the big date you were
getting ready for?
521
00:21:06,097 --> 00:21:07,865
(growling)
522
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:11,835
Curb your friend,
will you please?
523
00:21:11,869 --> 00:21:14,505
Louie, Louie,
it's very important...
524
00:21:14,539 --> 00:21:16,440
it's very important that
Elaine handle this herself.
525
00:21:16,474 --> 00:21:17,674
Do you hear me?
526
00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:18,509
Now you just sit
down somewhere.
527
00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:19,510
Just sit down somewhere.
Come here.
528
00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:20,778
Sit down.
Here.
529
00:21:20,812 --> 00:21:22,012
Come on, sit.
530
00:21:22,046 --> 00:21:23,680
(growling)
Sit! Sit!
531
00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:24,648
Sit!
532
00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:29,553
Stay! Stay!
533
00:21:29,587 --> 00:21:30,821
Stay!
534
00:21:35,626 --> 00:21:37,694
Young lady,
what is your problem?
535
00:21:37,729 --> 00:21:39,562
I mean, when are you
gonna realize
536
00:21:39,597 --> 00:21:43,334
that all of these people think
that my work is great?
537
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:46,402
You think you've got
this big personality cult
538
00:21:46,437 --> 00:21:48,371
going here, don't you?
539
00:21:48,406 --> 00:21:49,639
Well, let me tell
you something.
540
00:21:49,673 --> 00:21:51,675
I bet there isn't
a woman here
541
00:21:51,709 --> 00:21:55,145
who doesn't know exactly
what I'm talking about.
542
00:21:55,179 --> 00:21:57,380
Haven't you ever
been terribly unhappy
543
00:21:57,415 --> 00:21:59,049
with-with what he's
done to your hair,
544
00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:00,950
and yet you didn't want
to say anything to him
545
00:22:00,985 --> 00:22:03,453
because you felt like
it would upset him?
546
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,022
Well...
547
00:22:05,056 --> 00:22:07,357
ELAINE:
I mean, I came here
for something
548
00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:09,459
a little special, you know,
for something a little different
549
00:22:09,493 --> 00:22:11,495
and-and this is what I got.
550
00:22:11,529 --> 00:22:13,330
I mean, look at this.
551
00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:14,498
Look at me!
552
00:22:14,532 --> 00:22:16,667
Joan of Arc did less whining
at the stake.
553
00:22:16,701 --> 00:22:18,802
(laughing):
My God.
554
00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:20,838
ALEX:
Elaine, Elaine!
555
00:22:20,872 --> 00:22:21,772
Elaine!
556
00:22:21,873 --> 00:22:23,674
Look at me.
What am I doing?
557
00:22:23,708 --> 00:22:25,475
What am I doing?
558
00:22:25,509 --> 00:22:26,543
Go ahead.
559
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:29,079
Common people
do common things.
560
00:22:29,113 --> 00:22:30,247
(grunts)
ALEX:
Elaine,
561
00:22:30,281 --> 00:22:31,748
Elaine, don't, don't!
562
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:33,750
Elaine! Elaine!
563
00:22:33,785 --> 00:22:35,952
You'll be no better than him.
564
00:22:39,957 --> 00:22:41,959
You're right, Alex.
565
00:22:41,993 --> 00:22:44,962
And I'm a lot better
than he is.
566
00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:46,296
Come on, let's go.
567
00:22:46,364 --> 00:22:48,866
Wait for me!
(Vincenzo chuckling)
568
00:23:03,547 --> 00:23:05,515
She may be
better than you,
569
00:23:05,549 --> 00:23:07,584
but I ain't.
570
00:23:17,895 --> 00:23:19,763
¶
571
00:23:29,273 --> 00:23:31,241
(Pac-Man game whirring
and beeping)
572
00:23:36,447 --> 00:23:38,282
(game ends)
573
00:23:38,316 --> 00:23:43,453
I-I don't know
why I play this game.
574
00:23:43,488 --> 00:23:45,455
Throbbing noises,
575
00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:47,991
flashing lights,
576
00:23:48,026 --> 00:23:50,960
monsters chasing you--
577
00:23:50,995 --> 00:23:53,263
I get enough of that
in real life.
578
00:24:02,540 --> 00:24:05,008
(theme song playing)
579
00:24:28,132 --> 00:24:29,633
WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters!
580
00:24:29,667 --> 00:24:30,667
(man grumbling)
39605
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