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1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:04,736
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:16,508
TONY:
Hey, Louie?
3
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,345
Go ahead, Banta. What is it?
4
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:23,515
TONY: Louie? Hey, Louie,
I got a ten-year-old in my cab.
5
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,484
And I just found out
he's a runaway.
6
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:26,751
He owes me 12 bucks,
7
00:01:26,819 --> 00:01:28,520
and turns out,
he's only got two.
8
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,922
He won't tell me where he lives.
9
00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:33,191
Bring that little crook in here.
10
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,327
We're gonna find out
who his parents are
11
00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:38,330
and sweat that money out
of them.
12
00:01:38,397 --> 00:01:40,031
All right, Louie,
I'm bringing him in.
13
00:01:40,098 --> 00:01:42,601
Come on, now, you're scaring
the kid half to death.
14
00:01:42,701 --> 00:01:44,603
Come on, say something
nice to him now,
15
00:01:44,703 --> 00:01:45,803
make him feel better.
16
00:01:45,871 --> 00:01:48,072
Calm him down a
little bit, please?
17
00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:51,309
LOUIE:
Sure, sure, Banta, sure.
18
00:01:51,377 --> 00:01:52,577
Hey, kid,
19
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:54,879
uh, do you like Little League?
20
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:56,181
Yes.
21
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,116
Do you like soccer?
22
00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,584
Yes.
23
00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:00,952
You like jail?
24
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,522
No!
25
00:02:05,691 --> 00:02:07,626
Don't worry about it.
26
00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:11,363
Ah!
Oh, come on...
27
00:02:11,430 --> 00:02:13,231
Bring him over here,
bring him over...
28
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:16,167
Look at this, huh?
29
00:02:16,235 --> 00:02:18,003
This is the
criminal mastermind
30
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:19,537
who outsmarted Banta.
31
00:02:19,605 --> 00:02:20,839
ELAINE:
Oh!
32
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:22,273
Louie!
Come here.
33
00:02:22,341 --> 00:02:23,341
Go on.
Sit down, honey.
34
00:02:23,408 --> 00:02:24,309
Hey.
Hey, Lou...
35
00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:26,711
Come on,
Lou, huh?
Now,
36
00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:27,812
what's your name, honey?
37
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,080
Terry.
38
00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:32,183
Terry. Terry, uh,
what's your last name?
39
00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:34,018
I forget.
40
00:02:34,086 --> 00:02:37,389
No question he's a
match for Banta.
41
00:02:37,456 --> 00:02:39,524
Hey, Louie, would you
take it easy here?
42
00:02:39,591 --> 00:02:41,092
We're trying
to help this kid.
43
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,094
I already helped him.
44
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:44,896
I called the cops.
45
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,397
ELAINE:
What? Louie!
That's right.
That's right.
46
00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:47,798
ALEX:
What's the matter
with you?
47
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,567
The police. Thumbscrews.
48
00:02:49,634 --> 00:02:50,801
Oh.
49
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,270
Batons.
50
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,607
This little crook is into this
company for 13 bucks.
51
00:02:55,674 --> 00:02:58,309
I've never
been able
to do this.
52
00:02:58,377 --> 00:02:59,444
That's because...
53
00:02:59,511 --> 00:03:00,745
(clears throat)
54
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:03,348
...you shouldn't be thinking
about a card
55
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,717
or how you hold it.
56
00:03:05,784 --> 00:03:08,720
Just be the card.
57
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:13,925
Be the hat.
58
00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:16,127
I don't...
59
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:18,029
Don't question!
60
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:20,164
Be.
61
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:23,435
Hey!
62
00:03:23,502 --> 00:03:25,603
Whoa! Does that work
for everything?
63
00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:26,604
I don't know.
64
00:03:26,671 --> 00:03:30,174
It always worked for me
for parallel parking.
65
00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:34,178
Hey, Terry, listen,
you got to go home,
66
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,347
so you got to tell us
where you live.
67
00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:37,515
I won't go home.
68
00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:38,850
Uh, may...
69
00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:40,518
May I say something?
70
00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:43,521
When I was a boy...
71
00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:46,724
(laughs and clears throat)
72
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:49,861
...I ran away from home once.
73
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:53,364
It was an important experience
for me.
74
00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:57,568
If somebody had called
the police
75
00:03:57,636 --> 00:04:01,105
and taken me home right away,
who knows?
76
00:04:01,173 --> 00:04:05,242
I might never have turned out
to be the man I am today.
77
00:04:06,912 --> 00:04:09,180
Yeah, you see that, kid?
78
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:12,550
Tell us your name before
your brain sprouts fungus.
79
00:04:13,452 --> 00:04:15,320
We'll take care
of him, Louie.
80
00:04:15,387 --> 00:04:17,355
He belongs to
our species.
81
00:04:17,456 --> 00:04:19,657
Sit down, kid. Sit down.
82
00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:22,327
Now, Terry,
think about your mother.
83
00:04:22,394 --> 00:04:24,295
She must be
worried sick.
84
00:04:24,363 --> 00:04:26,130
You know, I have
a little son
85
00:04:26,198 --> 00:04:28,132
and if he ever
ran away,
86
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,767
it would kill me.
87
00:04:29,835 --> 00:04:32,536
You know what he does when
he gets upset with me?
88
00:04:32,604 --> 00:04:34,038
He just stops
talking to me.
89
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:35,906
He just won't say
a word, you know?
90
00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,775
Now don't you think
that's a lot better
91
00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:39,777
than running away
and making me worry?
92
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,647
I hate it when they do that!
93
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:46,217
Oh, Elaine.
94
00:04:46,284 --> 00:04:47,785
Listen, kid, um,
95
00:04:47,853 --> 00:04:49,253
Elaine's got
a point there
96
00:04:49,321 --> 00:04:53,324
about how worried
your parents must
be over in, uh...
97
00:04:53,391 --> 00:04:55,260
Where did you
say they lived?
98
00:04:57,329 --> 00:04:58,863
Come on, kid, now talk,
99
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:02,200
or we're gonna have to
start tickling it out of ya.
100
00:05:02,267 --> 00:05:05,103
Nice try, Alex.
101
00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:07,238
You know,
102
00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:10,775
he reminds me more
and more of myself.
103
00:05:13,111 --> 00:05:16,313
He's not going back,
and neither am I.
104
00:05:16,381 --> 00:05:17,681
Okay.
105
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:20,585
Thanks, Mister.
106
00:05:20,652 --> 00:05:22,587
Just call me Jim.
107
00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:30,428
LOUIE:
Ah!
108
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,730
Okay, where's the kid?
109
00:05:31,797 --> 00:05:32,964
LOUIE:
Oh. Oh, good.
110
00:05:33,031 --> 00:05:34,566
ALEX:
So, what's this?
111
00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:36,901
We got a
bright one.
112
00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:38,302
Uh, hey,
don't worry, Terry.
113
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,705
This guy's just here
to help you. Don't worry.
114
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:43,341
All right, come on,
here, here.
115
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:46,745
This is the little crook
who owes me $13,
116
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:51,816
and it's your job to get it
out of him any way you can.
117
00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:55,052
You prod me one more time,
I'm gonna show you eight places
118
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,156
you can beat a man
and leave no marks.
119
00:05:58,223 --> 00:06:00,224
Aw, so what?
So what?
120
00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:02,627
So you're big,
so you're black,
121
00:06:02,694 --> 00:06:05,296
so you got a badge,
so you got a gun.
122
00:06:05,363 --> 00:06:07,198
I'm a dead man.
123
00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:11,135
Yeah. Thanks
for smiling, Captain.
124
00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:12,369
Sorry. Sorry.
125
00:06:12,437 --> 00:06:13,604
Come on, son.
126
00:06:13,739 --> 00:06:15,906
(whispers)
Whoa. Close. This close.
127
00:06:20,045 --> 00:06:21,879
(knocking)
128
00:06:21,947 --> 00:06:23,781
MAN (on TV):
...weather when we return.
129
00:06:26,118 --> 00:06:27,785
Who is it?
130
00:06:27,853 --> 00:06:30,588
It's me, Terry, the
kid from the garage.
131
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:35,693
The one I established
a liking for so quickly?
132
00:06:35,761 --> 00:06:37,194
I guess.
133
00:06:37,262 --> 00:06:39,363
Oh.
134
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:42,199
Come in. Come in.
135
00:06:45,637 --> 00:06:48,572
How did you get away
from the police?
136
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,075
Well, they said, "Go
sit in that chair, kid."
137
00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:52,376
So I did.
138
00:06:52,444 --> 00:06:55,079
Then after a while, I
got up and walked out.
139
00:06:55,147 --> 00:06:56,981
Was anybody hurt?
140
00:06:59,351 --> 00:07:01,252
Well, good.
141
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,620
Wha-What are...
142
00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:03,855
What are you
doing here?
143
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:05,556
I was looking for you.
144
00:07:05,623 --> 00:07:07,124
I hope you don't mind.
145
00:07:07,159 --> 00:07:08,860
No, uh, I don't.
146
00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:11,228
But how did
you find me?
147
00:07:11,296 --> 00:07:13,431
You're the only Jim Ignatowski
in the phone book.
148
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:14,565
I know.
149
00:07:14,632 --> 00:07:16,133
Isn't it great?
150
00:07:16,201 --> 00:07:18,135
Yeah.
151
00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:21,272
Mr. Ignatowski,
I want to stay with you.
152
00:07:21,339 --> 00:07:22,573
Here?
153
00:07:22,641 --> 00:07:24,275
Oh, I don't know, Terry.
154
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:25,943
I mean, look around you.
155
00:07:26,011 --> 00:07:27,411
What do you see?
156
00:07:29,647 --> 00:07:32,583
Ice cream, popcorn
and television.
157
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:33,817
Exactly.
158
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:37,654
What kind of place
is this for a kid?
159
00:07:37,722 --> 00:07:39,456
Please let me stay.
160
00:07:39,524 --> 00:07:42,193
I... I don't know, Terry.
161
00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:45,263
I'm not really set
up here for a kid.
162
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:49,100
I don't even
have Atari.
163
00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:51,402
Please.
164
00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:55,440
Is home such a
terrible place, Terry?
165
00:07:55,507 --> 00:07:57,908
I hate the things
they make me do.
166
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,011
Like what?
167
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:03,214
What do your parents
make you do, Terry?
168
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,682
Lots of things.
169
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,317
I have
to keep my room tidied up.
170
00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:09,153
Oh, no!
171
00:08:11,056 --> 00:08:12,089
I can't ride my bike
172
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:13,824
in any streets
where there's traffic.
173
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:16,294
(grunts)
174
00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:18,095
I can't even
watch television
175
00:08:18,163 --> 00:08:20,064
till every bit
of my homework's done.
176
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:22,032
Terry.
177
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:25,069
Terry!
178
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:28,172
I'll never send you back
to a hellhole like that!
179
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,118
Well...
(clears throat)
180
00:08:40,185 --> 00:08:42,854
Now that I'm awake
and you're awake,
181
00:08:42,921 --> 00:08:45,523
why don't I fix us
some breakfast?
182
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:46,924
What have you got?
183
00:08:46,992 --> 00:08:48,859
Well, sir,
184
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:51,296
we got...
185
00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:53,698
uh... chili!
186
00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:56,567
Terry...
187
00:08:56,635 --> 00:08:59,403
SpaghettiOs.
188
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:02,740
I'm not that hungry.
189
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,575
I had some potato chips
190
00:09:04,643 --> 00:09:06,744
and two boxes of cookies
in my backpack.
191
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:08,846
I ate 'em all before you got up.
192
00:09:08,914 --> 00:09:10,481
Good for you.
193
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,183
After all,
194
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:15,486
breakfast is the most
important meal of the day.
195
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,523
What are we gonna do now?
196
00:09:19,591 --> 00:09:20,791
Well,
197
00:09:20,826 --> 00:09:24,194
oh, let's... let's see.
198
00:09:24,296 --> 00:09:26,130
I know.
199
00:09:28,066 --> 00:09:30,367
Let's play catch.
200
00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:31,669
In the house?
201
00:09:31,736 --> 00:09:33,104
Yeah.
Wow!
202
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:36,007
My parents would never let me
play catch in the house.
203
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:37,975
Mine, neither.
204
00:09:41,713 --> 00:09:43,714
Oops. Hey.
205
00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:45,049
(grunts)
206
00:09:48,486 --> 00:09:49,486
Huh.
207
00:09:54,693 --> 00:09:57,128
Well...
208
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:59,864
Parents know a few things.
209
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,200
I guess that
ends that.
210
00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:06,571
Well, that's the nice thing
about catch.
211
00:10:06,638 --> 00:10:09,907
It doesn't have to be long,
212
00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:12,243
just so it's good.
213
00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:16,714
What else will we do?
214
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,549
I don't know.
215
00:10:20,485 --> 00:10:22,419
You know,
216
00:10:22,487 --> 00:10:25,422
I've never been
a father before.
217
00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:28,325
I can experience
everything
218
00:10:28,393 --> 00:10:32,563
for the first time
through your eyes.
219
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,766
I can't wait to
watch your face
220
00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:38,368
when you watch me shave.
221
00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:41,705
I can hardly wait
till next Thursday.
222
00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:46,577
I'm really gonna
like it here.
223
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,879
Especially the part about
not having to go to school.
224
00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:53,183
Hey, who says you don't
have to go to school?
225
00:10:53,251 --> 00:10:55,419
School's very important.
226
00:10:55,487 --> 00:10:57,922
If I had dropped out
of grammar school,
227
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:01,993
I'd never have been able
to drop out of college.
228
00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:04,295
Why don't you teach me, Jim?
229
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:06,431
Teach me what you know.
230
00:11:06,498 --> 00:11:08,533
Well, that would take
hours, Terry.
231
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,501
Um...
232
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,571
Well, I don't know.
233
00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:16,007
But what the heck.
234
00:11:16,074 --> 00:11:21,813
We've all got a little
Obi-Wan Kenobi in us.
235
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,914
Okay.
236
00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:25,015
(clears throat)
237
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:27,885
Hey...
238
00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:33,424
if a tree falls
in the forest,
239
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:37,161
and nobody is there
to hear it,
240
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:38,862
does it make a sound?
241
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:43,533
If a tree...
242
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,435
...falls in the forest.
243
00:11:45,437 --> 00:11:47,805
Nobody's there.
244
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,773
Is there a sound?
245
00:11:54,813 --> 00:11:56,046
I don't know.
246
00:11:56,114 --> 00:11:58,182
Of course there is.
247
00:11:58,249 --> 00:12:02,386
Don't let anybody fool you.
248
00:12:02,453 --> 00:12:04,755
People try to make
that complicated.
249
00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:07,658
If a tree falls,
there's a sound!
250
00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:10,560
The bigger the tree,
the bigger the sound.
251
00:12:10,628 --> 00:12:13,931
Okay, so much for philosophy.
252
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:18,802
Next, morality.
253
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,775
It's your parents'
anniversary.
254
00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:29,981
Your mother sends you with $15
255
00:12:30,048 --> 00:12:32,716
to get her dress
at the tailor's.
256
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,585
(clears throat)
257
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:37,388
On your way there,
258
00:12:37,456 --> 00:12:41,559
a guy offers to sell you
the last available ticket
259
00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:45,563
to a monster rock concert.
260
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:50,301
The price is exactly $15.
261
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,436
What do ya do?
262
00:12:57,709 --> 00:12:58,742
Well...
263
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:00,911
Backstage passes included.
264
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,780
That's easy.
265
00:13:03,882 --> 00:13:04,815
It's not my money.
266
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:08,085
I'd get my
mother's dress.
267
00:13:08,153 --> 00:13:10,888
It was The Kinks.
268
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,529
She could have worn
the blue thing.
269
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,900
But she trusted me.
270
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:27,204
I'm giving you an "A"
in morality.
271
00:13:27,272 --> 00:13:31,576
Look, I gotta get to work,
but we've been terrific here.
272
00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:34,612
We covered philosophy,
273
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,614
we covered morality.
274
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:39,483
All the rest is
just tinsel anyway.
275
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,318
Tomorrow...
276
00:13:41,386 --> 00:13:43,053
we do history.
277
00:13:43,922 --> 00:13:45,589
The '60s,
278
00:13:45,657 --> 00:13:48,592
a misunderstood decade.
279
00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,663
Hey, am I crazy
280
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:55,833
or are we having
a fantastic time here?
281
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,001
I think it's great
being here, Jim.
282
00:13:58,069 --> 00:14:00,938
Hey, you gonna be okay
here if I go to work?
283
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,941
I mean, you want
me to quit?
284
00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:08,045
No, I'll be fine, Jim.
285
00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:10,047
Okay.
286
00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,316
Anything I can do
to help out?
287
00:14:12,383 --> 00:14:15,152
Um, let's see, uh...
288
00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:17,154
maybe.
289
00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:21,125
Uh, there's a toolbox
in the bedroom.
290
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,160
If you don't mind,
291
00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:26,163
will you get it out and
re-grout the shower?
292
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,767
I'll try.
293
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:34,371
That's all anyone
can ask.
294
00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:37,207
(sighs)
295
00:14:41,913 --> 00:14:44,214
Yeah, I'll-I'll let you know
just as soon as we...
296
00:14:44,282 --> 00:14:45,882
Right, okay.
297
00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:47,351
Bye.
298
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:49,353
Oh, kids.
299
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,355
(splutters)
300
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,357
What about them?
301
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,892
They make you laugh,
don't they?
302
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,628
Yeah, sometimes.
303
00:14:57,696 --> 00:14:58,862
(clears throat)
304
00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,864
Take mine, for instance.
305
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:05,502
Yours?
306
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:06,837
Yeah.
307
00:15:06,904 --> 00:15:09,473
Ordinarily,
the little guy
308
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:11,942
is just a pleasure
to live with.
309
00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:13,511
Jim, you don't
have a kid.
310
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:14,244
Sure, I do.
311
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:15,712
And I'll tell ya,
312
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:18,415
he turns into a holy terror
313
00:15:18,483 --> 00:15:21,451
when it comes to washing
behind the ears.
314
00:15:21,519 --> 00:15:24,955
Last night we went around
and around about it.
315
00:15:25,023 --> 00:15:27,958
Finally I gave in and you know,
316
00:15:28,026 --> 00:15:31,361
it wasn't as bad as I thought.
317
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,767
I might just start doing it
regularly.
318
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:41,605
Jim, what the hell are
you talking about?
319
00:15:41,673 --> 00:15:43,741
Behind the ears here.
No.
320
00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:46,877
You take a wash...
But, Jim-- but you
don't have a kid.
321
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:50,347
Yes, I do, Alex.
322
00:15:50,414 --> 00:15:53,683
I have adopted a son.
323
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:55,485
Adopted?
ELAINE:
Jim?
324
00:15:55,553 --> 00:15:56,887
What are you talking about?
325
00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:58,154
It's, uh--
326
00:15:58,222 --> 00:16:01,124
it's a little difficult
to adopt a child, isn't it?
327
00:16:01,192 --> 00:16:03,193
Is this difficult?
(snapping fingers)
328
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:07,364
Jim, who is
this kid?
329
00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:09,699
Terry.
330
00:16:09,767 --> 00:16:12,002
Terry? You mean the kid that was
in here yesterday?
331
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,537
Uh-huh.
Terry...
But...
332
00:16:13,604 --> 00:16:15,973
But-but he's already
got parents.
333
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:18,208
I didn't say there
wouldn't be problems.
334
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:19,242
No, no, no,
no, Jim,
335
00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:20,510
Jim?
Huh?
336
00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:22,279
His parents are desperately
trying to find him.
337
00:16:22,347 --> 00:16:24,181
They're camped out at the police
station right now.
338
00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:26,951
The cops just called to ask
if any of us had seen him.
339
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,552
Jim...
Huh?
340
00:16:28,619 --> 00:16:30,921
You cannot adopt
somebody else's kid.
341
00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:33,090
He's not somebody
else's kid.
342
00:16:33,157 --> 00:16:34,958
He's my kid now.
343
00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:37,961
I made it-- I made it legal.
344
00:16:38,029 --> 00:16:40,730
I got him a library card.
345
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,066
Iggy.
Huh?
346
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,269
I can't believe
my ears.
347
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,305
We're talkin' about
two loving parents
348
00:16:48,373 --> 00:16:50,440
who are desperately lookin'
for that little tyke.
349
00:16:50,508 --> 00:16:53,243
It's our duty to sound them out
about a reward.
350
00:16:53,311 --> 00:16:54,477
I shouldn't
have told
351
00:16:54,545 --> 00:16:56,246
any of you about this.
352
00:16:56,314 --> 00:16:57,914
You're trying to ruin it.
353
00:16:57,982 --> 00:16:59,049
LOUIE:
Money, money,
354
00:16:59,117 --> 00:17:00,518
money...
Now, now, now,
Jim, Jim...
355
00:17:00,585 --> 00:17:02,286
Jim, I don't understand... I
don't understand something.
356
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,955
What-what do you want
with Terry?
357
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,458
He's the son I never had.
358
00:17:07,492 --> 00:17:09,626
Yeah, well, he's the son
his parents do have.
359
00:17:09,694 --> 00:17:11,762
And you better get him
back to them. Fast.
360
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,163
Iggy.
Yeah?
361
00:17:13,231 --> 00:17:15,132
You're sheltering a fugitive.
362
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,866
No, it's not a question of that.
363
00:17:16,934 --> 00:17:18,535
Jim...
364
00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:20,403
his parents are worried sick.
365
00:17:20,471 --> 00:17:22,072
Jim, the cops called.
366
00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:23,473
They said his-his mother's
been crying
367
00:17:23,541 --> 00:17:24,842
for the last 24 hours.
368
00:17:24,909 --> 00:17:26,677
Oh, poor lady.
She's got it
coming to her.
369
00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:29,146
You should hear the
terrible things
370
00:17:29,213 --> 00:17:31,014
she's done to him.
371
00:17:31,082 --> 00:17:33,750
Forcing him to take
piano lessons,
372
00:17:33,818 --> 00:17:36,486
sending him off to camp
every summer
373
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:39,489
as if he was a-a camper.
374
00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:44,594
The kid has a home.
375
00:17:44,629 --> 00:17:46,596
He's got a family.
376
00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:48,365
He's got a puppy.
377
00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:51,168
He has a puppy?
378
00:17:52,937 --> 00:17:54,204
You...
379
00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:56,073
you know that
for a fact?
380
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:58,942
A little spotted puppy
381
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:01,945
who's just sitting around
now pining away
382
00:18:02,013 --> 00:18:03,947
wondering where
his Terry is,
383
00:18:04,015 --> 00:18:06,449
tears welling up
in his little brown eyes.
384
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,586
I don't believe you're
doing this
385
00:18:08,653 --> 00:18:10,621
when you don't
know for sure.
386
00:18:10,688 --> 00:18:13,624
Jim, the puppy
won't eat.
387
00:18:15,393 --> 00:18:17,294
This is emotional
blackmail.
388
00:18:19,297 --> 00:18:20,897
The puppy's name
is Snowball.
389
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,899
Oh!
390
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:25,902
Because of all the
white, fluffy fur
391
00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:28,005
from his little paws
to his cute little tail.
392
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:29,806
(moaning)
393
00:18:29,874 --> 00:18:31,975
(mimicking puppy
yelping)
No, no.
394
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,778
Okay, okay, okay, I'll
send him back.
395
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:36,180
Oh, great, great, Jim.
396
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,482
JIM:
I'll go break it
to him now.
397
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:39,816
I'll get his parents
and bring 'em over.
398
00:18:39,884 --> 00:18:41,718
Hey, Jim, uh, listen,
399
00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:44,221
I'm-I'm sorry you
have to do this.
400
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:46,223
(sighing)
401
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,658
It's okay, Alex.
402
00:18:48,726 --> 00:18:52,029
It's just not gonna be easy
403
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:55,065
explaining to a ten-year-old boy
404
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:57,835
that he's not adopted.
405
00:19:10,081 --> 00:19:12,349
Hey, Jim, I made you lunch.
406
00:19:13,284 --> 00:19:16,286
SpaghettiOs!
407
00:19:16,354 --> 00:19:19,289
My favorite.
408
00:19:19,357 --> 00:19:20,758
How did you know?
409
00:19:20,825 --> 00:19:23,560
You had 44 cans of it.
410
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:27,330
After you eat, maybe
we could play catch again.
411
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,399
No.
412
00:19:29,467 --> 00:19:31,302
Well...
413
00:19:31,369 --> 00:19:33,303
I don't think so.
414
00:19:33,471 --> 00:19:35,272
Or we could just watch TV.
415
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,541
Terry...
416
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,409
Terry...
417
00:19:41,912 --> 00:19:44,848
Your parents are
coming over,
418
00:19:44,915 --> 00:19:47,417
and you're going
back with them.
419
00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:49,386
No! No!
420
00:19:50,655 --> 00:19:52,790
No!
421
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:53,724
Terry!
(door slams)
422
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:55,625
Te...
(knocking on door)
423
00:19:55,693 --> 00:19:56,393
Jim.
424
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:57,861
Oh, Jim.
Alex!
425
00:19:57,929 --> 00:19:59,296
Yeah, listen, Jim.
I've been thinking
this over.
426
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,231
Jim, these are Terry's
parents.
427
00:20:01,299 --> 00:20:03,567
Mr. and Mrs. Booth, uh,
this is Jim Ignatowski,
428
00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:06,102
the man who was kind enough
to take your son in,
Hi.
429
00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:07,804
and, uh, take care of him
until you got here.
430
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:09,707
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Ignatowski.
431
00:20:09,774 --> 00:20:11,942
You'll never know how
grateful we are.
432
00:20:12,043 --> 00:20:12,710
You're a good man.
Yes.
433
00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:13,977
Where's my son?
434
00:20:14,044 --> 00:20:14,778
Why?
435
00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:16,846
Is it time to tidy up his room?
436
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:23,053
He'll be here in plenty of time
for summer camp.
437
00:20:23,121 --> 00:20:24,788
Don't worry.
Uh, uh...
438
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:26,923
...excuse us
for a minute.
439
00:20:26,991 --> 00:20:28,391
Jim, come here.
440
00:20:28,459 --> 00:20:30,828
(whispering):
Jim, what are you doing?
441
00:20:30,895 --> 00:20:33,964
I just don't know what
to do here, Alex.
442
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:35,833
I can't go back
on my word.
443
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:38,802
I promised Terry I would
never send him back.
444
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:41,738
Believe me, he really doesn't
want to see them again.
445
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,974
If he knew they were here,
446
00:20:44,041 --> 00:20:46,643
he'd probably be out
on the fire escape right now
447
00:20:46,711 --> 00:20:48,144
making a run for it.
448
00:20:48,212 --> 00:20:48,979
Come on, Terry.
449
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:50,814
We have your puppy
in the car.
450
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:52,950
See ya, Jim. Thanks!
451
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,517
JIM:
I just don't know
how I'm gonna face him
452
00:20:54,585 --> 00:20:57,654
when he discovers that
they've found him out.
453
00:20:57,721 --> 00:21:00,123
Yeah, well, Jim, I wouldn't
worry about that right now.
454
00:21:00,191 --> 00:21:01,925
Thanks again, Mr. Ignatowski.
455
00:21:01,993 --> 00:21:04,361
You're a very special person.
456
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:06,697
(door closes)
457
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,134
The kid's gone?
458
00:21:11,202 --> 00:21:12,803
He said good-bye.
You missed it.
459
00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:13,970
Go-go after him.
460
00:21:14,038 --> 00:21:15,939
Uh...
461
00:21:16,007 --> 00:21:17,941
uh...
462
00:21:18,009 --> 00:21:19,943
No, no.
463
00:21:20,011 --> 00:21:23,613
Uh, grownups make
too big a fuss
464
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,615
out of good-byes.
465
00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:27,650
I used to hate it.
466
00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:30,620
"Say good-bye
to your Uncle Harry."
467
00:21:32,456 --> 00:21:34,390
"Good-bye, Uncle Harry."
468
00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:37,961
"Good-bye, Jim."
(grunts)
469
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:43,934
Look, Jim, you did
the right thing.
470
00:21:44,002 --> 00:21:45,936
You know that, don't you?
471
00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:47,938
Ah...
472
00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:49,806
I guess so.
473
00:21:56,581 --> 00:21:57,781
You okay, Jim?
474
00:21:57,849 --> 00:21:59,716
Yeah.
475
00:21:59,784 --> 00:22:02,686
But my life will never
be the same again.
476
00:22:02,787 --> 00:22:06,022
Oh, come on, Jim, the kid was
only here overnight.
477
00:22:06,090 --> 00:22:07,924
(sighs)
478
00:22:09,994 --> 00:22:12,763
Well, uh,
479
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:14,832
I don't know, I, uh...
480
00:22:14,899 --> 00:22:16,800
Alex...
Yeah?
481
00:22:19,103 --> 00:22:21,371
Since I didn't have a chance
482
00:22:21,439 --> 00:22:24,040
to say good-bye to him,
483
00:22:24,108 --> 00:22:27,110
can I say good-bye to you?
484
00:22:27,178 --> 00:22:28,878
Me?
485
00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:30,414
Yeah, sure.
486
00:22:30,448 --> 00:22:31,581
Why not?
487
00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:41,257
You don't have to call...
488
00:22:41,326 --> 00:22:44,260
you don't have to write.
489
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:48,665
All I ask is
that you remember me.
490
00:22:54,405 --> 00:22:58,207
Yeah, okay, right.
491
00:23:00,178 --> 00:23:02,111
(moaning)
492
00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:09,052
How can you make a simple thing
so heart-wrenching?
493
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:11,888
I feel awful.
494
00:23:11,956 --> 00:23:13,857
I can't leave now.
495
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:19,163
Well, you want to stay
for lunch?
496
00:23:21,266 --> 00:23:23,167
Yeah, what're you havin'?
497
00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:25,602
Uh, SpaghettiOs,
498
00:23:25,703 --> 00:23:27,937
popcorn and herring.
499
00:23:32,676 --> 00:23:34,644
See you in the garage,
Jim, okay?
500
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:52,763
No matter how many leave
the nest,
501
00:23:52,830 --> 00:23:55,299
it never gets any easier.
502
00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:06,075
(theme song playing)
503
00:24:29,133 --> 00:24:30,567
WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters!
504
00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:31,635
(man grumbling)
32905
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