Original subtitles

[ Static ]

[ Heavy metal plays ]

♪ My dreams are all dead and buried ♪

♪ Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode ♪

♪ When God comes and calls me to his kingdom ♪

♪ I'll take all you sons of bitches when I go ♪

♪ Let 'er blow Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

Early: Hell yeah!

[ Ring ]

Hello.

[exhale] What you wearin', little gal?

It's your daddy.

No, no don't hand that phone to him!

Hello.

Oh, hey, Rusty. I found you.

What you doin', boy? -Look, Daddy, just quit

stalking Tammi from the busted trampoline.

What? I'm three counties over in Cleburne.

Daddy, I'm lookin' right at you.

What gives you the right to snoop on me?

Can't a man just quietly lurk behind a busted trampoline

without being spied upon like some tarted-up tease

who don't never take her top off in front of a damn winder?

So, uh, what y'all got goin' here?

Randy's building his car for the Pine Log 500.

My baby boy is a Woody Scout

and you are not gonna screw it up for him.

Woody Scouts, yeah.

I'm proud of you, Rusty, for not never gettin'

tied up in that damn Ponzu scheme.

Daddy, I've been a scout for 13 years.

The hell? Why ain't you never told me that?

I did.

Daddy, want come

my Woody Scout meetin'?

I'd love to, son, but [gulp] I'm drunk.

Daddy, you wanna come to the father/son Woody Scout Games?

I'd love to, son, but, I'm drunk.

Daddy, you wanna help me sell gingerbread

for my Woody Scout fundraiser?

I'd love to help you, son.

Who left this gingerbread here?

It's in my -- It's in my mouth now.

Oh, great.

Blame the alkyholic.

My choice to drink every day is a disease!

Well, just 'cause you didn't wanna be in Woody Scouts with me

don't mean I can't do it with my boy.

Well, my boy's a scout, too.

And maybe I wanna do something together

with him now to make up for the lost time.

Daddy, it's just too late for that.

Nothing's too late, son.

You tell me where and when, and I'm gonna be there.

All right, then.

The weigh-ins are at the VFW tomorrow night.

All right, then, done.

I'll be there with my damn bells on.

[ Door closes ]

Baby, your daddy is not comin' to the VFW.

You know that, right?

People can change, Tammi.

[ Ring ]

[Ring] Pick up your phone, damn it!

[ Electricity buzzes ]

Wow, Daddy, you showed up!

I didn't think you had it in ya.

Is that what you gonna race with?

Well, damn. -I know it looks rough,

but we had to whittle it down from a pine log.

Sap all over your axle.

My God almighty.

And this is the graphics package you trottin' out?

Oof!

I can't imagine Glug Lite Ice buyin' a sponsorship

on a piece of hot mess like this.

Easy, Daddy. I thought you were here to support us.

I am, son. I'm here to support us.

[ Fanfare plays ]

This here's made in America, baby!

Go big or go home!

Whoo-oo! -Dang, Daddy.

That looks exactly like your truck-boat-truck.

Damn straight.

Right down to my "If you believe

in global warming take your top off

and let me warm them globes baby!!!"

bumper sticker.

This is only 3 ounces, sir.

You have to get it up to 5 to race.

Hold your acorns, there, chief.

The rest of the weight is about to drop.

[ Clunk ]

Go on, little feller.

Read the sumbitchin' number. Go ahead.

5 ounces.

5 on the nose.

You're certified to run.

Damn right. -But you -- but you're

supposed to build it with your son, Daddy,

and that's me.

I couldn't have you messin' this up for me.

You just got that loser stank on you.

Good luck at the racetrack.

[feedback whines] Okay, racers.

All cars on the track for the test run.

[ Beeping ]

[ Rattle ]

Hell, that's slow!

Y'all need to wax lane 7.

This here whole damn track is slow.

We win! We won!

We probably shoulda put wheels on the front here.

Let me just give it a little help here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ho.

That there's illegal as hell!

Ain't supposed to be no outside assistance,

you hear me? No outside assistance.

We won! -[chuckle] Thinks he won.

I won, damn it! I did! Me!

[ Wail ]

Daddy, don't yell at my boy!

It ain't all about winnin'.

Son, he's phonin' it in.

Don't you get stuck on the conference call.

You teach him to lose now, he'll be losin'

his whole sumbitchin' life, just like you.

Well, we'll see about that tomorrow mornin'.

It's gonna be a different race. I promise you that!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh, hold on there, Rusty.

Uh, once your car is weighed in,

it has to stay here until the race tomorrow.

Oh, yeah, yeah, know that. -Sorry, those are the rules.

I'm just gonna leave it here for the -- for the night.

By the window, so that glue can dry.

And, uh, I'm sorry. You are...?

Oh, hey, I'm, uh, Early Cuyler, Rusty's daddy.

And nemesis.

Oh, Rusty's daddy. I've heard so...

little about you.

Well, you 'bout to hear plenty about me, hoss,

when I lap that field at your Pine Log 500 tomorrow,

all by my damn, lonesome self. Yeah!

Well, [chuckle] right.

You know you have to do the race with your son.

Okay if I drink out'chere?

Yeah, I'd rather you didn't.

Okay, gang.

We vow to plant our roots with me

in the rich soil of family, -Uh, plant.

everybody, -Plant the soil.

and be nourished by the sunlight

of our loving parents -Sunlight of families.

so we may grow strong, like the -Uh, uh,

-mighty oak. That's right. -mighty -- mighty oak, yeah.

Hell yeah! [glass breaks] Whoo!

He's the man!

[ Saw whirring ]

Have you lost your damn mind?

Your son is tryin' to sleep.

He wanted to superglue a damn hot dog to the manifold.

A car this size can't carry a wiener payload.

I done told you.

Randy don't care.

Hell, he thought y'all won today.

Hell, doesn't know what's goin' on half the damn time.

I mean, I love him, but he's got that loser stank on him.

If you're gonna be like this, why don't you

get your tools and get on outta here.

Fine, but I will be here to get Randy in the mornin'.

Oh, no, you won't. Randy ain't goin' nowhere.

You teach him how to lose now, and he'll be losin'

his whole life, just like me!

♪♪

Last chance to hop on the gravy train, Rusty.

Whoo-whoo-oo!

She's a-runnin' fast this mornin'.

How 'bout I just tell 'em we ain't racin' together,

and then you can't race at all?

Or how 'bout I tell them that you took your car

outta here to modify it last night, huh?

Who put that whale tail on it,

the magic damn spoiler fairy?

I don't think so. -You can't prove nothin'.

Yes, I can 'cause, I snuck in here last night

to mess all these cars up,

and yours weren't even here!

Well, then you broke the rules, sneakin' in here!

You can't prove nothin'.

[Warble] 'cause I snuck in here last night

to mess all these cars up,

and yours weren't even here!

Well, then, where's your boy?

I don't see him nowhere.

You best get him, 'cause you gotta have your boy,

or you can't race. -Yeah?

Well, where's your boy?

Grady. -Yes, Daddy.

Stop horsin' around and come help your daddy

-Ohhh. -with the race.

Can I have a couple of my candies?

The arthritis candies.

My hips are screamin' at me.

Maybe, if you're good.

Now, go on, Grady.

Limp over there and play with the other boys.

Oh, they all playin' on their computers.

[Beeping] I want me a computer, Daddy.

I done told you: no screen time until you're older!

But I'm a 97-year-old woman.

Shut up! You gonna ruin the damn plan!

All right, I get it. We gonna race straight up.

You, and me.

Straight up, it is.

Straight up your ass!

So, the, uh, the purple one

that limping over there,

is that -- that's your older brother?

Yeah. Yeah, my much older brother.

Yeah, I figured, because I overheard him telling some

of the other boys about the pictures

of Dwight D. Eisenhower

that he loves

to masturbate to.

You know that the "D" stands for, right?

Ding-a-ling.

Hey, where are you guys goin'?

I-I got pictures of Knute Rockne in swim trunks.

Oh, Knute.

You can rock me.

[Door closes] Yeah.

[ Rock music playing ]

Oh, Ethan, you best tighten them lug nuts

before you race, now.

I win!

Look, Rusty, you won.

Yessir.

Hey, Cooper,

you know why they call these heats, don't you?

[Beep] 'Cause I'm-a burnin'

your ass! That's why.

[ Laughs ]

I win! Whoo!

You win again, Rusty.

Yeah, thanks.

♪♪

[ Eagle cries ]

Oh, come on, Tanner, don't cry.

That there's a act of God.

[Sobbing] -I win again!

Good boy, Clem. -[Cries]

No-o!

♪♪

[feedback whines] All right, everybody.

The finals are set.

It's Cuyler versus Cuyler in the Pine Log 500 Logoff!

I must break you.

Daddy! -Hey, cowboy!

You made it. -Yeah, well,

Randy wanted to see his daddy's new racecar.

It ain't just my racecar.

It's ours.

See? This here's you.

And this here's me!

I'm a hot dog boy!

Rule violation: (R)(10)(b).

You can't modify -- uh...

[Chuckles] Oh.

A tube-steak payload?

You just made the biggest mistake

of your racin' career.

I'll allow it. Petition withdrawn.

Racers to the track. Racers to the track.

It's time for the... [Feedback whines]

fin-a-a-a-ls!

Avengin' Angel, are you in position?

Come back. -Hey, Daddy.

I'm talkin' on the radio.

Cut the chatter.

Do you have a clear line of sight?

Uh...

Affirmative?

Use the good eye, now,

not the one that the goat bit off.

Oh.

Oh, now I got it.

Oh, yeah. Here we go.

3, 2, 1.

Go! [Gunshot]

Let's go, Rusty! Come on! -Come on!

-Go, go! -Come on!

[ Triumphant music plays ]

[slow-motion] Go!

Go!

Take the damn shot.

[ Gunshot ]

No-o!

[ Squelch ]

[ Metal screeching ]

No-o!

[ Triumphant music swells ]

Whoo! -Whoa, baby. Watch out!

-We did it! -Mwah. You did it, baby.

Rule violation: (R)(7)(g)!

No projectiles are allowed!

All parts must remain secured to the vehicle.

He's right, Rusty. He's right.

That's the rules.

I'm afraid I'm going to have award the race

to. your. dad.

So I do win.

I'm the champion.

[laughs] Yeah, baby!

Oh, that's cool. I get it.

We had fun, either way, didn't we, boy?

Hot dog!

Here, Randy, just eat the hot dog, not wheel, okay, buddy?

I'm the damn champion, baby. Whoo!

I guess you won. No, please do not drink.

Please, put that -- put that away.

Victory, baby, is mine!

Gimme that winnin' trophy [Glass breaks]

right now, baby. Let's go.

Sure, just grab one off the table.

They're all exactly the same.

There's one for everyone,

and I'm obligated to ask if you want pizza.

Goddamn millennials!

[ Banjo plays, limb stomps ]

♪♪

♪♪

Made in Georgia, baby! Whoo!