Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:11,510
[ Static, radio tuning ]
[ Country music plays ]
all my dreams are dead and
2
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:19,522
buried
sometimes I wish the sun would
just explode
3
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:27,260
when God comes and calls me up
to his kingdom
I'll take you sons of bitches
4
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,631
when I go
Rusty: My turn.
Early: Hell no.
5
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:34,270
Rusty: Man, let me drive that
thing!
Early: Do not touch the trim!
6
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:38,638
[ Machinery running ]
[ Machinery beeping ]
7
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:43,439
[ Whistle blows ]
8
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:50,454
Early: [ Grunting ]
Hey, Darlene.
Hey, Becky.
9
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:51,951
[ Grunting ]
10
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:58,922
Hey, Becky.
Hey, Darlene.
[ Grunts ]
11
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:02,956
Free Greek-yogurt-covered gummy
nuts, baby!
Whoo!
12
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:10,503
Aaaaaaah!
Ohhhhhhh! Why?!
Why did this have to happen to
13
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:13,444
me?!
[ Sobs ]
Oh, God!
14
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:17,311
Granny: Layin' it on a
little thick, aren't we?
Early: I'd butter you
15
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:21,451
with a thick beatdown if I
still had ol' smacky.
Smacky was my bitch-whuppin'
16
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:24,819
arm.
Aw, smacky!
Why did you forever go and
17
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:28,649
leave my ass?
Granny: Probably 'cause
you were drinkin' at work again
18
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:33,626
and took your eye off the ball.
Early: Oh, bitch.
It's almost like I can feel ol'
19
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:36,497
smacky wrapped around your damn
throat.
Granny: Ooh!
20
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:41,827
But smacky's gone now, ain't he?
And he ain't never comin'
back.
21
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:44,936
[ Laughs evilly ]
Early: Oh, God.
You're right.
22
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:52,379
I'll never strangle or
properly batter your ass again!
Son of a bitch!
23
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:57,479
[ Sobbing ]
Why?!
[ Sobbing ]
24
00:01:57,485 --> 00:02:03,885
[ Rooster crows ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Fly buzzing ]
25
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:09,031
Mm.
[ Sniffing ]
Mm.
26
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:14,469
Smacky?
Smacky, is that you?
You've come back to me!
27
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:18,568
A medical damn miracle brought
on by my brown party liquor,
baby!
28
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:21,542
Whoo!
Rusty: Hey, daddy, your arm
grew back -- like that big ol'
29
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:25,512
whitehead between my eyes!
Early: Rusty, come over here
and hug on me on account of
30
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:28,513
my arm.
Rusty: All right.
Ow! Damn, daddy!
31
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:32,516
Early: You ain't never
gonna learn, boy!
Ba-boom! Ba-bam! Bap!
32
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,550
Ol' smacky is back in the game!
Whoo!
Rusty: It's kinda nice
33
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:38,486
gettin' a smackdown from ol'
smacky.
Ow! I did miss him.
34
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,592
Early: Pow!
Ol' smacky ain't missed your ass
once.
35
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:46,395
Whap, whap!
"Boom" goes the dynamite!
[ Slurps ]
36
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,600
Early: Bap!
Hey.
37
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:50,401
Early: Looky here, Glenn!
Yeah! It done growed back!
38
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:53,944
I bet your flabby sausage arms
can't do that, dumbass.
39
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:57,081
I'd just take the insurance
benefit for the missing limb.
40
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,747
Early: Do what, now?
You did it on the job,
41
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,747
right?
Read your insurance packet,
42
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,079
bro.
Lots of nuggets in there.
43
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,553
Dan Halen: Early cuyler,please report to my office.
44
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:08,953
[ Laughs ]I guess you're not gonna getthat big settlement check.
45
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:12,926
[ Laughs ]Dumbass. Early: Yeah, I guess itis
46
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:16,087
kinda strange that it's stillbleedin' a day after theaccident.
47
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:19,926
But, uh...[ Chuckling ] but it ain't likeit grew back and I cut it off
48
00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:23,474
again just now.I mean, what the hell?That didn't happen.
49
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:27,570
Dan Halen: I didn't ask.Here.As much as it pains me to do
50
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:32,535
this, here is a check for $600per our reluctant butgovernment-mandated
51
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:37,616
death-and-dismemberment policy. Early: Also, uh, y'all reallyoughta put some guardrails on
52
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:41,788
that paper shredder, now.And you got yourself a seriousosha problem with that pencil
53
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,719
sharpener. Dan Halen: [ Grumbles ] Early: Go on, now.
54
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:49,055
Write them checks.Whoo!I done gamed the damned system,
55
00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:51,663
baby!Free cashy money! Granny: Hurray!
56
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:56,095
Early: Although, I must say,celebratin' ain't the samesince I lost fist-pumpy and
57
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:59,673
back-slappy. Granny: Yeah, high-fiveyain't lookin' too hot, either.
58
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:03,083
Early: Well, as long asmoney-grabby got it goin' on... Rusty: Ain't you supposed
59
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:05,807
to be at work? Early: Boss man told me totake the day off -- said he
60
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,853
don't want me to lose no morelimbs on his property.[ Sniffing ]
61
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,619
Rusty: Does this mean Ican finally get a brace for mytooth?
62
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:15,619
Granny: And I want acrack at that fancydrive-through taco I saw that
63
00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:19,023
dog talkin' about on TV. Early: Bitch, we ain't gottaco money.
64
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:23,656
If you want fancy things, youget yourself yourown job and
cut your own arms off at your
65
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,504
own workplace.
This here is my American dream!
66
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:34,970
This devil machine!
Who the hell coulda seen this
comin'?!
67
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,605
Aaaaaaah!
[ Forklift beeping ]
68
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,781
Aah!
Pay attention, Lyle!
69
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:44,780
Didn't you see my arm under
your damn wheel?!
[ Dogs barking ]
70
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:49,485
Animal attack! Unprovoked!
[ Applause ]
Ohh!
71
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:54,130
[ Strained ] Grand openin'!
Free balloons for the kids!
[ Microwave whirring ]
72
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,528
[ Ding ]
Who put this dangerous microwave
here?!
73
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,130
I need first aid!
74
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:04,972
Who put this dangerous first-aid
cabinet here?!
I need microwave here!
75
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:10,212
Got this one stuck in the bagel
slicer down in the break room.
Mmm.
76
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:14,210
You best put up a sign 'fore
somebody gets their ass killed.
[ Sighs ]
77
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:18,554
Listen, Mr. Halen wants you to
restock the copier with paper --
nothing more.
78
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:22,222
That's your job now.
Early: Well, this here paper
looks pretty big to me.
79
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:25,822
I mean, you want I should
shrinkinate it with the -- with
the --
80
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,156
where's the hell's the arm
chopper?
It's been removed.
81
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:31,832
We're not stupid.
[ Paper rustles ]
Early: Aaaaaaah!
82
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:36,872
Manila card stock!
What the hell kinda deathtrap
you runnin' here?!
83
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:40,070
[ Bird cries ]
Just stand here like this,
keep the crows off the crops.
84
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:43,944
Early: I can scare me a mess
of birds away with these ninja
swords I got at the mall.
85
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:47,254
No! No, don't! Don't!
Put 'em down.
You just stretch your arms out
86
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:50,717
and do nothing, and nothing's
gonna happen.
[ Motor whirring ]
87
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,218
Oh, no.
Early: Oh, hell yeah!
No! No!
88
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:56,760
Early: Bring it on! Owww!
Stop the machine!
Stop the machine!
89
00:05:56,757 --> 00:06:01,727
[ Whirring slows, stops ]
Oh. Oh, thank God.
[ Crows cawing ]
90
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:05,559
Early: Aah! Aah! Ohh!
Jackpot!
Aw, come on!
91
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,096
Early: Oh, my arm!
92
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:09,901
Oh, my arm!
93
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:15,213
Oh, my --
what's the damn deal here?!
Listen, Mr. Halen wants you
94
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:19,709
to stand here and make sure
everyone washes their hands.
Or not.
95
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:24,153
He doesn't really care.
[ Door opens, closes ]
Early: Birds, come forth!
96
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:27,791
I call on thee!
[ Crows cawing ]
Aah! Aah! Ohh!
97
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,788
blessed!
98
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:36,230
Whoo, baby!
Whoo!
Sheriff: You wanted to see
99
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:40,130
me, Mr. Halen?
Dan Halen: I have an employee
who is bending me over and
100
00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:45,344
raping the cash out of me!
I want proof so I can legally
fire this cripple!
101
00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:48,839
Rusty: Hey, check this out.
I went through that company
insurance plan.
102
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,982
A whole leg is supposed to fetch
you $900-plus.
Early: What the hell?
103
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:56,649
Granny: You've only been
gettin' $600 a leg.
That's the damn finger rate!
104
00:06:56,650 --> 00:07:00,250
Early: He's rippin' me off!
Hell, this is fraud!
Rusty: Well, daddy, you can
105
00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:03,664
just do you a half-ass job till
you get laid off.
Then you could get a severance
106
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,187
package.
Early: Well, that's a good
idea, boy.
107
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:10,203
Go ahead. Sever my package.
How much we get for that?
Granny: Oh, you're both so
108
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,097
shortsighted.
The big payoff's in chemical
109
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:16,100
burns -- loss of vision.
Don't you fools read
110
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,273
appendix d? Early:Hell, I mean, if I
111
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,142
stab my eyes out and burn myface off with lye, we can
112
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:26,281
retire. Rusty:What's this about,sheriff?
113
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:30,050
[ Camera beeps, whirs ] Sheriff: Uh...Just between us, Mr. Halen told
114
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:34,050
me to watch you so we can provethat you're defraudin' theinsurance company.
115
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:37,124
Dan Halen: Moron! Sheriff: I'm even wearin'a wire [Chuckles] like in that
116
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:40,194
TV show -- you know, "the wire." Dan Halen: Get out of there!Abort the mission!
117
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,964
Sheriff: Hang on.This -- this radio keeps makin'this crazy noise.
118
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,863
Dan Halen: Abort the miss-- sheriff: Whoa!You got an aboveground pool?
119
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:50,066
Early: Oh, hell yeah.I also got me some Chinesethrowin' stars from the dollar.
120
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:56,340
And I can afford me this herehat, too.Hell, I can't afford the other
121
00:07:56,343 --> 00:08:00,653
hat yet.But soon, sumbitch, I will!That's the damn joke.
122
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:08,247
Sheriff: So you got allthis stuff just by losin' yourarms?
123
00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:12,915
I-I had a accident -- on thejob. Dan Halen: Accident? Hmm.
124
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:17,396
Do you remember the part whereyou were wearing the wire?Sheriff: Like on that TV show
125
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:21,197
"the wire"?Oh, yeah.[ Tape recorder beeps ]
126
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:24,941
Ain't there a better way thanthis Rusty bear trap, Early? Early:Yeah, I guess, but --
127
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:28,108
ha ha -- this is funny.[Clank]
sheriff: Aaaaaaahh!
128
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:31,878
Early: [Laughs maniacally ]
Sheriff: I always wanted apool, though.
129
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:35,079
Ohh! Dan Halen: You do know thatjust because you're on the take
130
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:40,022
doesn't make you abenefits-eligible employee? Sheriff: But...I was working
131
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,390
foryothough.
Dan Halen: Legally speaking,
that was a personal favor,
132
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:46,730
sheriff.
Read the written agreement -- of
which you have none!
133
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:50,797
Sheriff: Well, at least I was
smart enough to put my arm in a
bag of rice.
134
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:55,067
Dan Halen: That's for wet
cellphones, you subaverage
cretin.
135
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:59,038
Sheriff: Aw, hell.
I got my websites mixed up
again.
136
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:05,779
Early: [ Grunting ]
Granny: I think you went to
that arm well one too many
137
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,949
times.
Early: No, no, I'm fine,
bitch.
138
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:11,218
Nose-diggy and gun-shooty is
holdin' down the fort while --
[ Crows cawing ]
139
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:15,488
Aah! Aah! Ohh!
Them sumbitchin' crows is on
my ass like a birthmark!
140
00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:20,089
Granny: Well, bottle-grabby's
seen better days.
He looks like a dried-up ramen
141
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:20,963
noodle.
142
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:25,061
Early: The hell with him.
I still got my mouth finger,
143
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,225
licky.
[ Slurps ]
144
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:30,943
[ Muffled ] Works just as well.
[ Slurps ]
Rusty: Daddy, your arms
145
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:34,508
didn't grow back.
Early: Wait.
Are you sayin' my arms growed
146
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:38,808
back and that bitch over there
stole 'em in the night?!
Granny: No, no, he didn't say
147
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,912
that at all!
Early: You purple thievin'
whore!
148
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:46,084
I'm 'bout to tongue-whip you!
[ Grunting ]
Granny: [ Laughs ]
149
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:51,116
Aww, you're tryin' your hardest,
ain't ya?
See ya later!
150
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:55,164
Early: Damn slippery bitch
got away.
151
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:59,502
[ Grunting ]
Rusty: Where you tryin' to
152
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,129
go, daddy?
Early: To the doctor.
153
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,104
[ Grunts ]
Hell, my livelihood is in
154
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:07,313
jeopardy.
[ Grunting ]
Rusty: Hey, let me give you a
155
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,937
lift.
Early: Please stop!
Ohh! Aah! Stop!
156
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,843
Rusty: Whee!
Early: Please! Please!
Oh, God!
157
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:17,346
Rusty: Whoo!
Early: Oh, stop it! Stop it!
[ Panting ]
158
00:10:17,351 --> 00:10:24,021
[ Grunting ]
[ Metal clanking ]
159
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:30,464
[ Panting ]
Mornin', Early.
Early: What, Glenn?!
160
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,834
You ain't never seen a octuple
amputee?
Is that it?
161
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,534
Well, get you a damn eyeful!
162
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:41,535
[ Screaming ]
Damn it!
163
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:44,141
You need some help or --
Early: You squash-shaped
164
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,884
bitch!
You try clinkin' a damn mile in
165
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:52,220
my hooks sometime!
Was just sayin' "hey."
Early: [ Grunting ]
166
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:56,019
Dan Halen: I see you've
been outfitted with our
[Chuckling] state-of-the-art
167
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:59,223
hook technology.
Early: [ Grunting ]
Dan Halen: Yes, the gravy
168
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:02,426
train has pulled into the
station.
Everybody off!
169
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:05,899
Early: W-w-w-w-wait.
Hold on, now.
How much you think you could,
170
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:10,069
uh, give me for these?[ Flies buzzing ]
171
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,040
Rusty: [ Clears throat ][ Rooster crows ]
172
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,169
What the...Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
173
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,844
Granny: Yay!We're gonna be rich!
174
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:44,274
Made...In Georgia.
17905
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof