Original subtitles

Subscene @Ali_EmJay

- My brother-in-law died three and a half months ago.

Matt was the glue that held us together.

[laughter]

My sister is in freefall.

- Are you here for group? - This is your thing.

I don't want to show up and screw with your thing.

- Just come, because I'm gonna feel bad if you don't.

- You'd be happy, 'cause you hate me.

- I don't hate anyone.

- I am a successful businesswoman.

My daughters are independent and thriving.

- What is that? That is my shirt.

- This shirt?

I'm just mad all the time.

You were right, there was a lot about him I didn't know.

- Are you gonna give me my shirt back?

- No, I really like this shirt.

Do you know your husband's passcode to his phone?

- Of course.

[phone buzzes]

- [breathes heavily]

[phone buzzes]

Jesus!

[rock music]

♪ ♪

[phone dings]

[heavy breathing]

[laughs]

[horn blares]

[tires screech]

Hey, hey, hey.

Oh, my God.

- What's wrong with you? Please move.

Get out of the street! - Why don't you go--

[horn blaring]

It's okay, we're gonna find your home.

- [whines]

- Well, that's not helpful.

- [barks]

[upbeat music]

- Oh, my God, he is so adorable.

Wait, is it a he or she?

- I thought you said gender was over.

- It is, but only for humans. - I'm kidding, it's a he.

- Oh, we should give him a totally normal human name.

You know, the more normal it is, the funnier it will be.

Like, uh, Dave the dog. - Mm-hmm.

- Or Steve the dog. Josh the dog.

Josh the dog.

- I think this dog already has a name,

and a person who's losing their mind right now.

- Mm. Okay.

Let's knock on some doors, and try to find his human.

- Hey, there she is. - Oh, she is so cute!

- Leigh, this is Rogue. - Hi, Rogue.

- Rogue, Leigh. Rogue, Rogue, hey!

[Rogue growling, barking] - Oh, hi, hi! Okay--

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, chill out.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. - Is it okay?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. It's just, she doesn't

really like when people get too close too fast.

- Noted. So how did you two meet?

- Well, I always wanted a dog when I was a kid,

and my dad didn't really like animals,

so after college, went to the shelter,

and there was these... I don't know.

All these other dogs there ran up to the bars,

wagging their tails, and then, there's Rogue,

all the way in the back.

[Rogue growling] Kennel cough, covered in mange.

She growled at me when we first met.

- [barks]

- I mean, all those other dogs,

they're gonna get adopted within the week.

They didn't need me, but Rogue did.

- Aw. How about now?

- Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Okay.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Whoa.

- I'm sorry, I don't know what her deal is.

- It's okay. - I might need to

up her Prozac, I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry, did you say your dog's on Prozac?

- Yeah. Yeah, she gets anxious.

It keeps her leveled when I go to work.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Okay.

- What? Say it.

- I've just been reading a lot of op-eds

about how we're over-medicated as a society,

and are controlled by our Evil Overlord Big Pharma.

- Well, believe me, this dog needs her meds.

- She sure seems like it. - Oh, wow.

Oh, come on. Give her a break.

You don't like people, either. - Mm, you got me there.

- Right? - So maybe we're soul mates.

- Two of a kind. [laughing] That's what I was thinking.

[chuckles]

- Maybe there's nobody looking, and we could be his people.

- Mm-mm, it's a nice dog.

Dogs aren't nice unless they're taken care of.

- Can we stop calling him "it" and give him a name?

- How about Visitor, because he's just visiting?

- Mm, yeah, that's good. Maybe he could visit forever.

- Jules, it's not happening. - Come on.

Look at this little face. - You are cute--okay.

Okay. - Yep.

- Mm. - [laughs]

- Don't go into a spiral about one review.

- Well, the thing is, Barf Girl was right.

You know, I think a lot of people leave Beautiful Beast

feeling only the beast part, and I want to start a new class

that focuses less on image and results,

and more on self-love and community.

- Mm-hmm. - Guess what I'm calling it?

- The Self-Love Community Jamboree?

- That's actually pretty good. But I like mine better.

Get ready, it's called "Middle School Dance Party."

- Your dance class is inspired

by the most humiliating time in someone's life?

- Yeah, actually, that's the point.

I mean, it's all about embracing your inner child.

Mom's gonna love it. - Yeah.

[both laugh]

- Hey.

- Well, he has a microchip,

but unfortunately, it wasn't registered.

- Great, so how are we going to find his owners?

- I would take him to the nearest shelter.

If his people are looking for him,

that's the first place they'll go.

Good luck with everything.

- Yeah. It's okay.

- No sad faces, we are going to find your people.

- Or we could keep him. - No.

Jules, you can't have a dog.

You couldn't even keep a hamster alive.

- Nobody can keep a hamster alive.

Besides, it's been, like, 20 years.

I think I'm developmentally ready.

- Okay, look, this is how it's gonna go:

you're going to spam Instagram with dog selfies

for a couple weeks, get bored, move on,

and then, I feed and walk this dog for the rest of its life.

- That's how you think it's gonna go?

- I'm just saying that it's a lot of responsibility

taking care of another living creature.

- Hey, come here, girl. Yeah, go long.

- [growls]

- [laughs]

- You do know that if you feed her from the table,

she's never gonna stop begging.

- Well, she's already had a hard life.

So now that she's with me, I just want her to be happy.

- You know what would make her really happy?

- What? - Boundaries.

I went down a dog research rabbit hole,

and I was reading a lot about wolf packs.

- Mm-hmm. - They have a power structure.

So if you were the powerful and strong alpha,

then Rogue gets to be the stress-free beta.

- Okay, well, uh, thanks for the fourth grade book report.

Wolves are super cool, but Rogue and I are good, okay?

- Okay, well, I'm just saying that

we need to get our pack in order

if we're ever gonna live together.

- Um, uh, live--live together?

- Maybe. I don't-- Forget I said it.

- You like me. - Shut up.

- Come on, admit it. - You're...

Okay, I guess. - Yes!

[both laugh]

- Hey,

I would like to talk to you about something.

- What?

- [laughs]

It's, um...

[laughing] I, uh...

Yeah, remember when I told you Rogue was on Prozac?

Yeah, she's not the only one.

- Oh.

- I've been taking it on and off since I was in college.

- For anxiety? - For depression.

- Wow, okay.

Why didn't you tell me? - Well, I tried.

But when I told you about Rogue, you got all judgey.

- That's because Rogue's a dog.

Seriously, if this is something that helps you,

that is all I care about. - Well, it does.

- Good. Okay, great.

- And I know exactly what to do to keep it under control.

I take my meds. I have a good doctor.

- Good. - But, you know,

sometimes it gets bad.

Um...

I get difficult. Things get dark.

It's just--it's too much for some people.

- Well, I am not some people.

- Really?

- Really.

Jeez, I thought you were gonna tell me

you were into cosplay. - What?

- You got a lot of action figures.

- Oh, my God.

I am not...

Into cosplay.

Unless you are.

- [laughs] I might be open to it.

- Oh-ho, then I definitely want to live with you, yeah.

Yeah, that seals it.

- [laughs]

Yeah.

- I can't tell you how happy I was to hear

that the original offer fell through.

I think it was meant to be.

I have always wanted to turn this place

into a women's wellness center.

Not just barre, but yoga, massage, acupuncture.

- Sounds ambitious.

- Uh, I will start working with an architect

as soon as Mrs. Hartounian accepts my offer.

- Listen, I want to be up front with you.

- Mm-hmm.

- Now, Mrs. H asked me to hear you out,

but I'm expecting another offer from a group of investors.

This time, all cash.

- But I-I've been her tenant for 15 years.

I stayed when they tore up the street,

and the entire neighborhood smelled like a sewer.

I--I've taken out a second mortgage on my home.

That's how much I believe in this.

- If it--if it helps, I'm sure the new owners

will let you stay as a tenant--

- No. - And anchor the place.

- I don't want to be someone's tenant.

That's the whole point.

- Okay, look,

I'll present your offer.

[phone game chiming]

[phone beeps]

- [chuckles]

[clears throat]

[line ringing]

[ringtone chiming]

- Oh, shit. God--

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[groans]

Hello? Hi.

- I can't believe that you're already dating again.

- Oh, I know, it all happened so fast.

I think I'm in love.

- No, but seriously, you got a dog?

- Mm, no, it's a stray. I'm looking for his owner.

- Well, send me his info.

I'll, uh, I'll post it on Facebook.

I'm on a ton of dog groups.

- You don't have a dog.

- Yeah, but I like those posts where people

are reunited with their pets. It warms my cold, dead heart.

- Okay, I am sending it to you now.

- Bye.

- [whimpers]

[scratching]

[whimpers]

- Oh, my God.

Jules, get in here.

- Oh, that's not good.

- You were supposed to watch him while I took a shower.

- Okay, I got distracted for like a second--

- But this is what I mean by

not responsible enough to own a dog.

- Okay, well, you can't expect me to watch him every second--

- What's this? - Oh, shi--

- Why is there a dog in my house?

- Sorry, okay, okay.

Uh, it's--it's just, it's a long story.

- You know, I-I don't even want to know.

I just want it gone. - Okay.

- Guys, come on.

I really don't need this today.

Middle School Dance Party?

- Don't look at me. That's not mine.

- Okay, um, I know you've been stressed about money.

So I came up for this new idea for the studio.

It is a dance class for your inner child.

- "Pay what you can?" - Just for the first month.

And once everyone's obsessed, it'll be full price.

- [scoffs]

That's great, Jules.

[laughs]

That's really gonna turn the tide,

if you can actually stick to the class for more than a week.

[exhales]

I'm sorry, I--I didn't mean it to come out like that.

- You know, they told me in rehab

the hardest part about staying sober

is the fact that the people in your life

don't believe you can change.

But I didn't think that would be you guys.

- J--

[door closes]

- One night.

- Okay, okay. - That's it.

Clean that up. - Mm-hmm.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

That's how she treats people she likes, you're lucky.

[phone dings]

[chuckles] Danny.

[laughs]

Mm.

Well, he's better than the shelter.

Mm-mm, off.

[exhales]

- [low whine]

- One night, that's it.

Get over here.

Get over here, mister.

[imitates growling]

Matt, Matt, get in here. Look at this, look at this.

- What's up? - Stay, leave it.

Watch. - Yeah, I'm watching.

- Leave it.

[soft music]

Go get it! Good girl, good girl!

- Look at you guys. - You know I have more of them,

But I'm not gonna give you any more.

- That was amazing.

Well, thanks for putting in the work.

- Of course.

And if you really get trained,

maybe we can get you off of your meds, maybe.

- You want to get Rogue off of her Prozac?

- Not all at once, but I don't see why

we should be over-medicating her.

- Mm-hmm, right. Over-medicate.

We still talking about Rogue, here?

- Look, I have been reading up on this,

and there's still so much about the long-term effects

of antidepressants that we don't know about.

And so I was talking to my mom about it--

- Wait, I'm sorry, no.

You told your mom about my meds?

I haven't even told my mom.

- Well, I'm really close with my mom.

- Yeah, well, I've met her twice.

- Well, she had postpartum depression after I was born,

and she said the things that really helped her

were St. John's Wort and Omega 3 fish oil pills.

- Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to fix

whatever's wrong with my brain by taking some pill

some snake oil salesman sold to your mom.

- Okay, well, you don't need to be mean about.

- I'm--you just taught my dog some stupid tricks

so you could micromanage my mental health.

Do you have any idea how messed up that is?

- No, you know what, I'm just trying to help.

- I don't want your help. - Cool, okay.

- My whole life, everyone thought I was lazy.

[soft music]

When I got diagnosed my sophomore year of college,

it was one of the happiest days of my life.

My doctor telling me I had a disease

instead of a character flaw.

- I'm sorry, I didn't know that.

♪ ♪

- I-I need you to understand that this isn't fixable.

- Okay, but you just need to understand

that I'm never gonna stop trying to take care of you.

Oh, shoot.

Visitor?

Come here, boy.

Where were you?

- I took him for a walk.

I had to get it in because in a few weeks,

I'll be too bored to do it.

- [sighs] - [whimpers]

[phone beeps]

- I keep an orderly home.

I am a good mother.

I am patient.

Mm, I am patient even with my eldest daughter

when she isn't patient with me.

Or anyone else, for that matter.

I am a smart businesswoman who...

sucked up to her landlady for over a decade,

and priced herself out of the market.

I am...

[sighs]

I am the one who holds everything together,

and never got the chance to grieve my son-in-law,

who was a hell of a lot nicer than either of my own kids.

I am...

Starting to wonder if this shit even works.

[exhales]

[blender whirs]

- Hey. [smooches] Come here.

See that? Go long.

There you go.

Good boy! Good boy!

Ooh.

We made this for you. - We?

- Mm-hmm. - I already ate.

- Just drink it, and forgive me for being a jerk.

- [exhales]

- Please.

[phone rings]

- Hello? Hi. - [indistinct speech]

- Oh, yeah, she's here.

It's Danny, he says he found the family.

- [indistinct speech]

- Oh. - His name is Boots?

Okay, does he have one black toenail on each back paw?

- Mm.

Yep. Mm-hmm, yeah.

- Okay, yeah, it's him. - Okay. I'll tell them.

- Thanks.

[soft music]

- [whimpers]

- I'm sorry. - Why?

He's gonna go home. That's what I wanted.

♪ ♪

- Well, Danny's going to text the address,

and if you want, I can come with you after class.

- No, if I were his owner, I would--

I wouldn't want to wait another minute.

- And if we got to keep you, I would have named you Josh.

Oh, good-bye.

Oh-ho-ho.

I will see you later.

- Okay. Hey, have a nice first class.

- [whimpers]

- [sighs]

- Welcome to the very first Middle School Dance Party!

[applause]

Okay, I want you to look in the mirror.

That person is not your enemy.

That person is your best friend.

All those things that make us weird or awkward,

those are also the things that make us gorgeous and amazing.

Oh!

♪ ♪

- Okay, guys.

Are you ready to embrace your inner tween?

Yes?

5, 6, 7, 8. Isolations!

[laughs] Add hips. Yeah, Sean!

[laughter]

Yes!

And turn, and clap. Turn, clap, clap.

And right, left, to the left, right, left.

To the left, right, left. To the right.

And grapevine.

♪ ♪

And pose. Drop a pose!

Strike a pose!

[engine running, shuts off]

- I know.

- [whimpers]

- This is it.

You want me to take him up? - Mm-hmm.

Bye.

Here you go. - Let's go, buddy.

- Here's the leash. - Oh, thanks.

Come on. Let's go, big guy.

- [barks]

[soft music]

- Oh, oh, my God! - Come here, boy!

- Hi. How you doing? - Come on, let's go inside.

♪ ♪

- There's nothing else we can do, you heard her.

- Then we should find another doctor.

- Leigh, come on.

We can't keep pretending this isn't happening.

- [voice breaking] Maybe just a couple more days.

[somber music]

- I know how much you love her, but she's in pain.

- [whimpers]

- It's time to let her go.

Hey, hey, come here.

- [sobs]

♪ ♪

- [sobs]

[sniffs]

- I know.

- [exhales]

[car door closes]

- [clears throat]

Rogue was a great dog.

- Mm-hmm.

- You know, Matt told me about that day Rogue died.

It was the day after Christmas, right?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

He said he would never forget it

because that was the day that he knew

he was gonna marry you.

[engine starts]

- [shaky breathing]

[tense music]

12, 26.

♪ ♪

- You were weird at the party,

you didn't say a word on the car ride home,

and now you want to go straight to bed.

- I'm tired. - Everyone is tired.

It's Friday.

You completely shut down.

- I know Leigh would love it if I finished my comic book.

- Leigh would love it?

- I want everyone to read it.

Why is that so hard to say? - Say it again.

Even if it's hard.

- As long as you insist on being right about everything,

you're never gonna be in a relationship

that lasts longer than six months.

- How does Leigh get her voice

to come out of your mouth like that?

- I wish I had a better understanding

of what you're going through.